Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2020

[bluidkiti]

April 27

Quote of the Week

"It’s okay to look back. Just don’t stare."

A few weeks ago, my brother published a memoir about the early years of our family’s life in this country; we emigrated from England in the late 1950s. It tells the story of the rapid and painful breakup of our family due to my father’s alcoholism, and there are some harrowing scenes that were painful for me to read. When I finished the book, I was pretty shaken up, but after a few days I felt myself again. I was grateful for this and remembered that it wasn’t always this way.

Before recovery I was lost in the resentment, fear, and misunderstanding of my upbringing. I spent many years secretly wishing it had been different, and many more hating what had happened and what had been done to me. When I looked back on it, I would dwell on the wrongs that had been done, and the loathing I had for “them” soon turned into the self-loathing of my own alcoholism. Without recovery, it surely would have destroyed me as it had my family.

Through recovery, I have learned to sift through my past to find the lessons and even the gifts it has to offer. I know now that my upbringing and my experiences allow me to help others in a way that no one else can. This is one of the miracles of recovery. Today, I don’t have to relive my past, but I don’t have to shut the door on it either. Today, I know that it’s okay, and even valuable, to look back—as long as I don’t stare.