Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2020

[bluidkiti]

April 6

Quote of the Week

"There are no victims, only volunteers. You always have a choice."

This was a tough lesson to learn. When I was new to the program, I felt like a victim in many situations and relationships. When I started complaining about my job or what my family was making me do, I expected to get some sympathy and understanding. I was shocked to be told that I was a willing volunteer in much of the drama and even the pain in my life. That was a hard pill to swallow.

And it didn’t go down easily. I had to do many fourth columns of the Fourth Step—my part—before I clearly understood that I had a choice, and so a role, in the uncomfortable situations in my life. As I began making different choices by not engaging in old family dynamics, or by making better decisions elsewhere, other people got pretty upset. They were used to me playing a certain role and so grew angry and resentful as I began to stick up for myself.

The breakthrough came as I continued to honor myself and make healthy choices. The miracle was that as I changed and recovered, the dynamics of my relationships changed. Soon, as I took more responsibility for myself, other people took responsibility for their actions as well. Together, we became less codependent, and through my recovery others experienced recovery also. And it all started when I accepted my role as a volunteer and began making different choices.