Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2020

[bluidkiti]

April 20

Quote of the Week

"All unhappiness is the result of comparison."

When I was in my disease, I had a very skewed sense of perception. Rather than think about the things I did have, I was constantly comparing myself to what others had that I didn’t. As I drove along Pacific Coast Highway, I’d look at all the homes on Malibu Beach and envy and resent the people who had such wonderful lives. At restaurants, I’d see couples enjoying a romantic dinner, and I’d feel sorry for myself alone at the bar. I was constantly comparing myself to what I didn’t have, and as I did, what little happiness I did have slipped through my hands like sand in a sieve.

Before I attended my first meeting, my best friend made a recommendation to me. He told me to look for the similarities and not the differences. He knew how critical and judgmental I was and knew that if I focused my magnifying mind on the differences, then I wouldn’t stay. This was sage advice. As I listened for the similarities, I stopped comparing and began identifying. Once I learned that most of us felt less than and that comparing ourselves to other people, places, and things was just another way that alcoholism fed our discontent, I found a solution.

The gratitude list is a tool in my spiritual tool kit that gets used often. Recognizing that my mind automatically seeks the negative, I use it to be restored to sanity. Whenever I’m feeling less than, or when I begin comparing myself to others, I stop and make a written or mental list of twenty-five things for which I’m grateful. These include my health, my sobriety, my awareness of and relationship to my Higher Power, my beautiful marriage, and all the other things I have, including my ability to dream and have goals again. When I’m done counting my blessings, I’m also done comparing. And once I realize how much I do have, my happiness returns.