When one alcoholic/addict shares with another alcoholic/addict

[MajestyJo]

"Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations.

I have to discard my 'rights', as well as my expectations, by asking myself, "How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?"

~~"Big Book" Page 449 Third Edition~~
~~"Big Book" Page 417 Fourth Edition~~

A big awakening for me was realizing that I was projecting something onto someone they were not capable of giving or willing to acknowledge. It was about not putting such high expectations on myself that was important. I use to make them so high that I seldom reached them and as a result, I always felt less than and beat myself up.

When I lower the bar, it is easier to reach. When I reach it, I can always raise it again.

"The higher the expectation, the deeper the resentment. Both are an illusion created by you." - - unknown

Had problems with fibromyalgia, I had to realize that I just couldn't do what I use to do and had to learn to accept it. As it says in Big Book, the lower my expectations and the higher my acceptance, the greater my serenity. My expectations were to do it perfect, do it right, and anything less than my expectation wasn't acceptable. That lead to a lot of self abuse, which I try not to do in today.