Thanks...

[Larrylive]

I realized early on that i had a...knack with words. Particularly in poetic form. and although i have written many pieces, the credit goes to God, I, for some reason am the vehicle through which they take form. Rarely do I "work" on a poem, they all tend to be written in real time, meaning as long as it takes to read one, that's how long they take to write.

In the mid-eighties i was in the Navy. They had a zero tolerance policy, I did not. (ie; drugs). I often forget my first rehab was in 1985, NDRC, Miramar,CA. I did not pay attention, as I had no intention on qiuting weed. During my stay this happened......

Is addiction a constant need
An empty void of endless greed
A life long habit, unfulfilled
A continuous struggle all up hill

A pain inside like loneliness
With just one cure for emptiness
To always search and hunt that thing
For the happiness it will bring

Or could it be just one shot
That will always turn your insides hot
Does it lurk inside your mind
Waiting for that special time

Not constant use but now and then
Never really knowing where or when
A sneak attack when your guard is down
Do you just say yes when it’s around

Well think it out and let me know
Cause I’m not sure which way to go
Do I say yes and admit I’m caught
Or refuse because I think I’m not



In my mind, it has a different meaning now that I am a recoveredcrackhead.

During my 2nd rehab (McPike ATC, Utica, NY) The followinf fell out of my head, with the exception of the last line, that appeared 2yrs later during rehab stay #3 (Sameplace, McPike)

Come sit beside me
my dear boy
For the story I can tell
Would chill the bones
Of long dead men
And scare the ones in hell

For I have seen
The hopelessness
Of souls that have no peace
And felt the grip
Of deep despair
From which there’s no release

I’ve seen the hate
In loved one’s eyes
Like nightmares come to life
And felt the blows
Upon my heart
Without the strength to fight

To be alone
On long dark nights
And shiver as I cry
Or hear the call from farther down
And never question why

But listen up
for now I now
What so few can admit
That I myself
Have become
Completely powerless


Took another 8yrs and rehab #4 for it to really sink in. Some lessons are harder to learn.