When I Question God’s Plan

[bluidkiti]

When I Question God’s Plan by Leah DiPascal

“‘Now what have I done?’ said David. ‘Can’t I even speak?’” 1 Samuel 17:29 (NIV)

I hadn’t told anyone. I wasn’t going to tell anyone. This private conversation with God was too tender and raw to share. For hours, I had spilled out all my concerns to Him — begging for answers and desperately wanting the gnawing pain in my heart to go away.

The truth is I was deeply concerned and heart-broken about some things which happened earlier that day to make me question my calling. Things that made me wonder if my purpose in life had changed. Circumstances that produced full-on hot tears as I cried out to God throughout the day in discouragement.

Was God really concerned? Was my life’s calling about to take a sharp left turn that I wasn’t prepared for? How would I recover from this latest blow of hurt and disappointment? Instead of feeling purposeful, I stood in my kitchen with a sinking suspicion God was placing me on a shelf to collect dust for a while.

I knew God loved me, but honestly, I wasn’t feeling very loved at that moment. I felt as if Satan were throwing darts at me labeled: Forgotten. Invisible. Not good enough.

I imagine that’s the way a young shepherd boy named David must have felt centuries ago. Although the prophet Samuel specifically appointed David as the next king of Israel, many years would pass and many difficult things would happen before David made it to the palace. The ruling king, Saul, questioned him, and so did David’s older brothers. To the point where right before he killed a certain giant named Goliath, David even exclaimed, “Now what have I done? … Can’t I even speak?” (1 Samuel 17:29).

God had chosen, anointed and empowered David to be Israel’s greatest king in the Old Testament. Yet as we unwrap David’s story, we see how he was placed in many situations which were perfect environments for his doubts and uncertainty to take root and flourish.

Relentlessly, David was hunted by King Saul who vowed to kill him. He lived in caves, was constantly on the run and had his fair share of fierce battles against vicious enemies.

David must have had some hard days and sleepless nights where he, too, questioned his calling. I wonder if one struggle after another — one detour after another — one delay after another — caused David to examine his situation and ask God if He still planned to fulfill His predestined purposes in David’s life? Maybe there were even brief moments when he felt forgotten, invisible, not good enough?

God had begun a good work in David and He was faithful to complete it. The detours … the delays … were all a part of the journey that prepared him to reign as king. The palace would not have been possible if the destination to it would have been cut short.

Thankfully, we know David trusted God despite the enormous challenges he faced. And we get a glimpse of David’s thoughts as we read his words in Psalm 138:8, “The LORD will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.” (NKJV)

On that difficult day when I wept in deep discouragement, the Lord brought Psalm 138:8 to mind. It was like drinking a cupful of reassurance, allowing me to pause, take a deep breath and feel God’s tender presence wrap around me.

Those beautiful words were originally penned thousands of years ago by David, and yet they spoke truth right into my situation that day. Reassuring me. Comforting me. Rekindling my hope once again.

The same applies to you and me. God is forever faithful and will complete the work He’s begun in our lives. We have to trust Him — on good days and bad days. When doors of opportunity open wide and when detours delay us for a while. Every season has a purpose, and every part of God’s plan for our lives is good. He promises to perfect all that concerns us … today and for our future.

Heavenly Father, You are greater than any obstacle I face and Your love for me endures forever. Help me to follow You on good days and bad days. To trust You moment by moment. Even when my purpose seems vague or my calling appears far off in the distance. When my concerns begin to consume me, Your love will perfect each one with unfailing grace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

REFLECT AND RESPOND: What are some things that concern you today? List them on a piece of paper, then write out a prayer asking God to perfect your concerns with His unfailing love and grace. Finally, declare out loud Philippians 1:6 (above) with confidence and assurance until your heart believes it.