Today's Thought - January

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January 1

Reflection for the Day
In the old days, I saw everything in terms of forever. Endless hours were spent rehashing old mistakes. I tried to take comfort in the forlorn hope that tomorrow would be "different." As a result, I lived a fantasy life in which happiness was all but nonexistent. No wonder I rarely smiled and hardly ever laughed aloud. Do I still think in terms of "forever"?

Today I Pray
May I set my goals for the New Year not at the year-long mark, but one day at a time. My traditional New Year's resolutions have been so grandly stated and so soon broken. Let me not weaken my resolve by stretching it to cover "forever" - or even one long year. May I reapply it firmly each new day. May I learn not to stamp my past mistakes with that indelible word, "forever." Instead, may each single day in each New Year be freshened by my new-found hope.

Today I Will Remember
Happy New Day.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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January 2

The new is but the old come true; each sunrise sees a new year born.
--Helen Hunt Jackson

We know that a totally new life can begin on any day of a year, at any hour of the day, or at any moment of an hour. That new life began the moment we decided to surrender and admit to powerlessness over a substance or an impulse. It began when we accepted the fact that we needed help and could receive it simply by asking.

Many of us used to choose New Year's Day as a time for making good resolutions and swearing off bad habits. When we failed, we simply shrugged and said, "Maybe I can start tomorrow, next week - or next New Year's Day." We were always going to "turn over a new leaf."

Now, in recovery, we no longer depend on doing it all alone. We know we can stay abstinent only by sharing with fellow members.

Let me remember, each day in recovery is another milestone. I no longer have to use a calendar.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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January 3

When I came in, they told me, "Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself."
--Anonymous

It takes a long time to learn to love ourselves. So many things we've done seem hard to forgive. We might be trying to dig out from under tons of negative garbage, negative images. Fortunately, our friends in this program do love us. That will sustain us as we try to get the picture of ourselves back into proper focus.

The thing we must get locked firmly in our mind is that it's all right to be who we have been and who we are now. We know how to repair the damage now. Our program shows us the way to recovery, the way back to genuine esteem in ourselves as God's creations. God made us, and always loves us just the way we are.

I will try to love myself, remembering that God and other people love me as I am.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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January 4

"All too often," confesses a gal, "I get so caught up in hurry and worry that I ignore my own needs. I push myself so hard to get this and that done that I make myself physically ill before I have the sense to rest. There's got to be a better way!"

Some of us, it seems, have to learn the importance of rest and relaxation the hard way. We push ourselves to the limit, often to the point of illness or injury, before we allow ourselves to stop.

We can avoid this vicious circle if we realize our limitations. One of those limitations is found in the law of "Supply and Demand." We cannot meet demands if we have depleted our resources. Just as a fire cannot burn without fuel, so our bodies and minds cannot function without food and rest.

Today – before I drive myself to the point of complete exhaustion, I will set aside as much time as I need to fill my depleted energies. I will get more rest, participate in an enjoyable activity, or have an inspiring conversation with a friend to renew my strength and courage.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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January 5

Let Go and Let God.
--Twelve Step slogan

Some days we might ask ourselves, Is it worth it? We feel alone. No one seems to care. Life seems hard. Recovery seems hard.

This is when we need to slow down and take a look at what's going on. We're feeling this way because we're off our recovery path. We may be back into wanting people to see things our way, or do things our way. We want control.

Remember, all problems are not our problems. All work is not our work. We can't have everything the way we want it. But we can do our part and let go of the rest. Then we can feel better.

Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, help me remember my only work today is to do Your will for me. It is not my job to be You.

Action for the Day
I'll talk with my sponsor or a program friend today. I'll talk about how to deal with things that seem to pull me down.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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January 6

Life is for enjoying. It is not a race to see how much you can get done.
--Jill Clark

Before we quit using alcohol and other drugs, we wasted precious hours, days, maybe years. Consequently, we feel we must make up for lost time. We make promises and commitments we don't have the time or the energy to fulfill. This is a normal response to hindsight. After all, we missed many wonderful opportunities when our focus was on getting and staying high.

Making up for the past is different from making the most of each twenty-four hours. It's not how much we accomplish in life but how we treat others along the way that counts. We can accomplish our daily tasks while being kind to other people. But choosing the latter as the more important action will bring a far greater sense of well-being than succeeding at "moving mountains."

I will get done everything I really need to do today if I focus on being kind to the women and men who cross my path.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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January 7

A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life. There is no life without pain just as there is no art without submitting to chaos.
--Rita Mae Brown

It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as controlling ourselves or controlling how people respond to us. We may be worried about a loved one's behavior or safety, but not realize our hovering over that person is a controlling activity. We may be keenly aware of other people's controlling behavior with us, but unaware we have equaled their control by monitoring them and trying to change their behavior.

What a moment of spiritual adventure it is to risk living through the pain! When we do not seek an escape or a quick fix but have patience with the process, new possibilities often do develop. We can only let go of our control - or turn it over to our Higher Power. And we will do it and forget, taking control back within minutes or within an hour. Then we let go again.

Today, I will submit to the insecurity of a changing universe and have faith that I can live through the process and grow.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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January 8

God does not require that we be successful, only that we be faithful.
--Mother Teresa

It is probable we have never equated success with faith. Being successful meant accomplishing worthy goals and receiving the expected praise. We may have even considered that relying on faith to help us was a cop out. Fortunately, so much about how we interpret life has changed since joining this journey through recovery.

In Step Three we learn that God wants us to have faith. We are coming to see, in fact, that acting as if we have faith begins to feel like faith. Coming to believe that God's only expectation is that we turn within for guidance makes every circumstance far less threatening.

Practicing faith promises that we will begin to feel successful in all our experiences because we are walking through them peacefully, trusting fully that God is at hand. Believing in God, being truly faithful, can be the greatest success of our lives.

I can be faith-filled today if I turn my life and my will over to the care of God. I will remind myself of this every time I get in the "driver's seat."

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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January 9

If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.
--Rollo May

Those of us who go around trying to be right and do everything right are likely to betray ourselves. We stifle our impulses and control our intuition because we can't be certain that we are correct. As a spiritual exercise, we could stop now and listen to our inner selves and state our own ideas. What comes out may break the illusion of perfection and free us to proceed with life.

We all have original ideas if we just notice them. What images come to mind while listening to music? What do our dreams tell us? New insights sometimes come by physical activity. Conversation with a friend can help lead us to our wisdom. Our growing strength in recovery requires that we listen to our own messages and then take some risks to express them.

Today, I will take risks by stating my ideas. I will stand up for myself by listening to my intuition.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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January 10

Who Knows Best?

Others do not know what's best for us.

We do not know what's best for others.

It is our job to determine what's best for ourselves.

"I know what you need." . . . "I know what you should do." . . . "Now listen, this is what I think you should be working on right now."

These are audacious statements, beliefs that take us away from how we operate on a spiritual plane of life. Each of us is given the ability to be able to discern and detect our own path, on a daily basis. This is not always easy. We may have to struggle to reach that quiet, still place.

Giving advice, making decisions for others, mapping out their strategy, is not our job. Nor is it their job to direct us. Even if we have a clean contract with someone to help us - such as in a sponsorship relationship - we cannot trust that others always know what is best for us. We are responsible for listening to the information that comes to us. We are responsible for asking for guidance and direction. But it is our responsibility to sift and sort through information, and then listen to ourselves about what is best for us. Nobody can know that but ourselves.

A great gift we can give to others is to be able to trust in them - that they have their own source of guidance and wisdom, that they have the ability to discern what is best for them and the right to find that path by making mistakes and learning.

To trust ourselves to be able to discover - through that same imperfect process of struggle, trial, and error - is a great gift we can give ourselves.

Today, I will remember that we are each given the gift of being able to discover what is best for ourselves. God, help me trust that gift.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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January 11

When I feed on resentments and anger, I am giving someone else rent-free space in my head.
--Kathy Kendall

Becoming consumed by our emotions is all too familiar. It was a favorite pastime before we got clean and sober, and it still may "own" us. Much to our dismay, sponsors remind us that we're getting a payoff or we wouldn't continue the practice. They also tell us it's never too late to give it up.

We can begin immediately. Let's breathe in the positive. It takes the same effort as dwelling on resentments, and the outcome is so much healthier. Let's bring our blessings to mind first. Breathe in the images of friends and the smiles we share. Breathe in the image of our Higher Power and those comforting arms. Breathe in the bright light of healing that is the program's gift. Breathe in the peace that comes with knowing all is finally well.

Giving our minds over to loving images heals us. The hurts of the past can each us no more if we breathe in the good.

I will breathe in my Higher Power today. I will dwell on the safety and serenity of my journey.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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January 12

Recovery is civil war, but it is a war that can be won.
--Sister Imelda

How often do we hear people say, "Sure, I know it's the right thing to do - but it's easier said than done!'' But "it," whatever "it" is for each of us, is actually easier done than not done. As hard as it is to turn our will and our behavior toward recovery, failing to recover is much harder. Ultimately, any price we pay for recovery is far less than the cost of giving up everything we've gained.

Some of us have a very difficult time making phone calls. Others are scared to death of speaking at meetings, talking to strangers, or admitting that we have feelings. But the alternative has simply been too painful. Whatever we have to do is worth it. The payoff is immense. How many of us, when we did attend that meeting that frightened us, felt an enormous surge of self-confidence and happiness? How often, when we have stood our ground and found it did not kill us, have we felt that we could lick the world? The payoff is that we learn to like ourselves more, and that is as good as it gets.

I will make sure today that I am not forgetting the benefits of recovery and only considering the price of recovery.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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January 13

You love me so much; you want to put me in your pocket. And I should die there smothered.
--D. H. Lawrence

Adult children often try to control people to keep them from moving away. To ensure that we won't be left alone, we might smother-love them with everything we have.

Of course, we become obsessed with the person we're trying to control. But even worse, this caretaking behavior eventually leads us to become more addicted to the problem than to the person. We become good at solving other people's problems and wiping away their tears; that's our skill. And that's why we so often end up attracting and being attracted to people who have monumental personal problems.

Oftentimes, our very hanging on guarantees the relationship will fail. When we try to control those we love we stand the chance of crippling our loved ones and ourselves. We must first aim for being healthy ourselves - only then can we learn to be part of a healthy relationship.

Today, I will let my loved ones face their own problems. I can love these people without fixing them.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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January 14

When we are feeling unloved and depressed and empty inside, finding someone to give us love is not really the solution.
--Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D.

Each of us wants to be significant to someone else. And we are - we're significant to all the lives we're touching at this very moment.

The emptiness we sometimes feel is a good reminder that the women and men in our lives need our attention. Too much self-focus fosters our feelings of loneliness, and then with desperation we look to others to fill us up. The paradox is that we heal ourselves while offering our attention to another who is, by design, on our path.

It is not by chance our lives are intertwined. Loving someone today will heal two wounds, ours and theirs.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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January 15

The human brain forgets ninety percent of what goes on.
--Jan Milner

There were two women who shared a house and raised their daughters, two toddlers, together. Then one of the women got transferred to another city and moved with her daughter.

Ten years later, they had a reunion. The mothers asked their kids what they remembered about living together. Did they remember all the books? No. Did they remember a mom in the kitchen every morning, fixing eggs and toast? No.

What they remembered was playing in the pink bathtub for hours, pulling the pink shower curtain shut for privacy. And the morning the mothers sneaked in, turned off the lights, threw plastic cups and spoons over the curtain and cried, "It's raining spoons!" They laughed and laughed.

We are lucky in this life - our minds think laughter is what's worth remembering.

What laughter from yesterday can I remember today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous