Writing a Letter - Step Eight

[bluidkiti]

Step Eight tells us we must become willing to make amends to the people on our list, and Step Nine brings us out of the passive and into the active phase of our recovery process. But, for the moment, what we really need to do is some soul-searching about why we need to make these amends, and the possible benefits we may derive from doing so.

Yesterday, we suggested parents as probable candidates to head our list. However, many of us no longer have a living father or mother, although we still carry an enormous amount of guilt over how we behaved toward them.

A wonderful solution was shared by a member of a self-help group who said: "The only way I could get rid of all that residual guilt and anguish was to write a letter to my dad, seal it and toss it into the fireplace. In it, I told him how much I truly loved him, and how he had always been there whenever I needed him. I also told him how sorry I was for having lied to him, stolen from him and disparaged him in front of my friends because he was not successful enough to satisfy my ego needs.

"Then I promised him that I'd do some nice, helpful things for older people whenever I could. I also promised to do those things silently and in his name. The I felt better."

Even if it is no longer possible to be in touch, I find a way to express my amends to those I have harmed.

-Step by Step