cross talk

[Lin]

It's been a very long time since I visited this site. I do have a question. I am a grateful member of alanon...about 25 years. Recently a lady from AA attended and mentioned that we have cross talk. I would love to hear what exactly the definition of cross talk means and how do you keep it to a minimum?

My opinion is it is interrupting the person speaking....speaking to them about what they just shared before everybody has had a turn and we have been around the table. I see it as giving advice...not sharing "experience, strength and hope".

I googled cross talk and it in not a clear definition. Many said it is making negative comments or giving advice. Some said if your turn comes later and you want to add something to what another had said, that's not cross talk. They said it' not cross talk if you say Thanks for sharing. Or glad you are here. But if you refer to the share such as 'you will know what do do when the time is right".

Several alanon groups here are adding something about it at the opening. I would really be curious to hear what they put in the opening.

In the past I have said, stay a few minutes after the meeting and I will talk to you. The "talk" does not involve advice. It's more of telling them I understand and if they keep coming back they should see how much happier their life can be. I may tell them what I did in a similar situation and if it helped me. Then they can "take what they like and leave the rest"

So just what IS cross talk and how can it be kept to a minimum? We are having a group conscience on it for our meeting on March 12....going to announce several times so people interested can be there.

LIN