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#1 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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![]() I saw this today in Dear Abby. This is something I wish I had seen years ago...it would have saved me a LOT of grief if I had known about these 'red flags'. Also, these warning signs can be for both genders...women aren't the only ones that find themselves in abusive relationships. (1) PUSHES FOR QUICK INVOLVEMENT: Comes on strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser pressures the new partner for an exclusive commitment almost immediately. (2) JEALOUS: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car. (3) CONTROLLING: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you're late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything. (4) UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need. 5) ISOLATION: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car, or try to prevent you from holding a job. (6) BLAMES OTHERS FOR PROBLEMS OR MISTAKES: It's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong. (7) MAKES OTHERS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OR HER FEELINGS: The abuser says, "You make me angry," instead of "I am angry," or says, "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you." (8) HYPERSENSITIVITY: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad. Rants about the injustice of things that are just a part of life. (9) CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR CHILDREN: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. Sixty-five percent of abusers who beat their partner will abuse children. (10) "PLAYFUL" USE OF FORCE DURING SEX: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex; finds the idea of rape exciting. (11) VERBAL ABUSE: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may involve sleep deprivation, waking you with relentless verbal abuse. (12) RIGID GENDER ROLES: Expects you to serve, obey, remain at home. (13) SUDDEN MOOD SWINGS: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes. (14) PAST BATTERING: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person "made" him (or her) do it. (15) THREATS OF VIOLENCE: Says things like, "I'll break your neck," or "I'll kill you," and then dismisses them with, "Everybody talks that way," or, "I didn't really mean it."
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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