Daily Recovery Readings - May

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May 1

Daily Reflections

HEALING HEART AND MIND

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being
the exact nature of our wrongs.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 55

Since it is true that God comes to me through people, I can
see that by keeping people at a distance I also keep God at
a distance. God is nearer to me than I think and I can
experience Him by loving people and allowing people to love
me. But I can neither love nor be loved if I allow my secrets
to get in the way.
It's the side of myself that I refuse to look at that rules
me. I must be willing to look at the dark side in order to
heal my mind and heart because that is the road to freedom.
I must walk into darkness to find the light and walk into fear
to find peace.
By revealing my secrets - and thereby ridding myself of guilt
- I can actually change my thinking; by altering my thinking,
I can change myself. My thoughts create my future. What I will
be tomorrow is determined by what I think today.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

The A.A. program is one of charity because the real meaning of
the word charity is to care enough about other people to really
want to help them. To get the full benefit of the program, we
must try to help other alcoholics. We may try to help somebody
and think we have failed, but the seed we have planted may bear
fruit some time. We never know the results even a word of ours
might have. But the main thing is to have charity for others,
a real desire to help them, whether we succeed or not. Do I
have real charity?

Meditation For The Day

All material things, the universe, the world, even our bodies,
may be Eternal Thought expressed in time and space. The more
the physicists and astronomers reduce matter, the more it becomes
a mathematical formula, which is thought. In the final analysis,
matter is thought. When Eternal Thought expresses itself within
the framework of space and time, it becomes matter. Our thoughts,
within the box of space and time, cannot know anything firsthand,
except material things. But we can deduce that outside the box of
space and time is Eternal Thought, which we can call God.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be a true expression of Eternal Thought.
I pray that God's thoughts may work through my thoughts.

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As Bill Sees It

We Are Not Fighting, p. 121

We have ceased fighting anything or anyone--even alcohol. For by this
time sanity has returned. We can now react sanely and normally, and
we find that this has happened almost automatically. We see that this
new attitude toward liquor is really a gift of God.

That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding
temptation. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has
been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor
afraid.

That is how we react--so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 84-85

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Walk in Dry Places

Accepting Equal Treatment
Growing Spiritually
One of our AA friends was a district judge in a northern community. On his way to speak at our meeting, he was given a speeding ticket by a state policeman.
"Didn't you tell him you are a judge?" we wanted to know. Smiling sheepishly, he shook his head. It occurred to us, then, that acceptance of the speeding ticket without argument was also an exercise in principles for him. First, he was accepting the same laws he administered to others. Additionally, accepting the ticket was a working of the Tenth Step---". . . and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." Finally, he realized that the ticket may have been a disguised blessing to help him correct a tendency to speed.
As recovering alcoholic, we always function better when we accept such principles in our own lives. Every person is special, yet as part of the human race in general, we must accept the same treatment that is given to others. We can grow spiritually when we accept such equality without resentment or demands for special treatment.
As a human being, I know that today I'm subject to all the things that can happen to human beings. I will not demand or expect privileges that are not available on an equal basis to others.

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Keep It Simple

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.--Step Five
Step Five can be scary. we're to take the wrongs we listed in our Fourth Srep and share them with God, ourselves, and another person. We may look for an easier, softer way. But Step Five stops us.
We're to share the exact nature of our wrong. Why? So we can take a load off ourselves. So we won't use again. By totally sharing our past wrongs, we can belong once more. We can heal. We start to forgive ourselves. We become more humble. When you share your Fifth Step, holding nothing back. You deserve the peace this Step will bring you.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, give me courage to tell it all. Give me courage to admit just how wrong I had become.
Action for the Day: Step Five teaches me that sharing is important. I will find a friend and share my wrongs with that friend. I will hold nothing back.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Insight is cheap. --Martha Roth
For years we kept ourselves in a split condition: With one part of our minds we looked at ourselves and said, "I do some self-destructive things because I don't believe I deserve love." When we became involved with unsuitable people or abused our bodies, we said, "I am punishing myself--I am expecting too much--I neglect my own needs."
We may see clearly how and why we get in our own way. But unless we have faith in a power greater than ourselves, we won't step aside. We won't let go. We'll do the same thing and "understand" ourselves in the same ways. We may even use our "insight" to keep ourselves stuck--to protect ourselves from the risk of change.
Now, having had a spiritual awakening, having come to believe that a higher power can restore us, we possess a gift more powerful than the keenest insight--faith in our ability to grow and change. We are children of God. All the creative power of the universe streams through us, if we don't block it.
Today, I will have faith, and all will be well.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.

p. 43

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

ME AN ALCOHOLIC? - Alcohol's wringer squeezed this author--but he escaped quite whole.

My story has a happy ending but not of the conventional kind. I had a lot more hell to go through. But what a difference there is between going through hell without a Power great than one's self, and with it! As might have been predicted, my teetering tower of worldly success collapsed. My alcoholic associates fired me, took control, and ran the enterprise into bankruptcy. My alcoholic wife took up with someone else, divorced me, and took with her all my remaining property. The most terrible blow of my life befell me after I'd found sobriety through A.A. Perhaps the single flicker of decency that shone through the fog of my drinking days was a clumsy affection for my two children, a boy and a girl. One night my son, when he was only sixteen, was suddenly and tragically killed. The Higher Power was on deck to see me through, sober. I think He's on hand to see my son through too.
p. 387

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience."

Where does A.A. get its direction? Who runs it? This, too, is a puzzler for every friend and newcomer. When told that our Society has no president having authority to govern it, no treasurer who can compel the payment of any dues, no board of directors who can cast an erring member into outer darkness, when indeed no A.A. can give another a directive and enforce obedience, our friends gasp and exclaim, "This simply can't be. There must be an angle somewhere." These practical folk then read Tradition Two, and learn that the sole authority in A.A. is a loving God as He may express Himself in the group conscience. They dubiously ask an experienced A.A. member if this really works. The member, sane to all appearances, immediately answers, "Yes! It definitely does." The friends mutter that this looks vague, nebulous, pretty naive to them. Then they commence to watch us with speculative eyes, pick up a fragment of A.A. history, and soon have the solid facts.

p. 132

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"Pay no attention to what the critics say; no statue has ever been put up
to a critic."
--Jean Sibelius

Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much
as we speak.
--Epictetus

One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen
to each other's stories.
--Rebecca Falls

"Sometimes you have to make music with what you got."
--Izhak Perlman

"Don't just do something, sit there! Sit there long enough each morning to decide what is really important during the day ahead."
--Richard Eyre

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

SCRIPTURE

"Nobody ever outgrows
Scriptures; the book widens and
deepens with our years."
--Charles Haddan Spurgeon

Not so long ago I had a narrow and rigid religious outlook that was
based solely on my narrow belief system. I was addicted to my religious
approach and any alternative or variation was condemned before
investigation. I was a religious bigot. I was a hypocrite. I hid behind my
dogma and practiced ritual.

Today I have a comprehensive view of religion and God, thanks to the
influence of recovering alcoholics and the discovery of a spiritual
program. Today I am able to see the depth and richness of scripture, a
living library of books and experiences. Today I am able to see beyond
the printed word to the message of healing and love that comes with
honesty and acceptance. Now I know that the bigoted side of me was
fearful and afraid of change. I needed rules to keep people from
discovering what a lonely and spiritually bereft person I was. The rules
and dogmas formed my prison bars. I was drowning in religiosity. Today
I am free to be different. Today I am free to be me.

O wind of Truth, continue to blow and inspire us through our
differences.

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"O Lord, You are my God. I will exalt You, I will praise Your name,
for You have done wonderful things; Your counsels of old are
faithfulness and truth."
Isaiah 25:1

Forgive your brother from your heart.
Matthew 18:35 NIV

"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and
surround me with songs of deliverance."
Psalm 32:7

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Daily Inspiration

Do not allow yourself to be disappointed by any thing or any person, but rather have faith that in all things God is leading you to your ultimate good.

Shine brighter than the sun and liken your heart to the flight of a butterfly. Attitude makes a big difference. Lord, help me to change that which I can and appreciate the blessings which I already have received.

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NA Just For Today

Self-Worth And Service

"Being involved in service makes me feel worthwhile."
Basic Text, p. 212

When most of us arrived in Narcotics Anonymous, we had very little self-worth left to salvage. Many members say that they began to develop self-esteem through being of service early in their recovery. Something just short of a miracle occurs when we begin to have a positive impact on others' lives through our service efforts.

Most of us don't have a lot of experience, strength, or hope to share at thirty days clean. In fact, some members will tell us in no uncertain terms that what we can do best is listen. But at thirty days, we do offer something to that addict just coming into the rooms of NA, struggling to get twenty-four hours clean. The very newest NA member, the one with only the desire to stop using and none of the tools, can hardly imagine anyone staying clean for a year, or two years, or ten. But he or she can relate to those people with thirty days clean, picking up a keytag with a look of pride and disbelief emblazoned on their faces.

Service is something that is our unique gift—something that no one can take away from us. We give, and we get. Through service, many of us start on the sometimes long road back to becoming productive members of society.

Just for today: I will be grateful for the opportunity to be of service.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Hold fast to dreams For if dreams die, Life is a broken-winged bird That cannot fly. --Langston Hughes
Watching birds spread their wings and soar can remind us of the best in ourselves. In joyful moments we all feel our own desire to fly, to reach toward what we dream of doing.
Our dreams give us a direction to fly. Birds fly toward the light for joy, toward green leaves for shelter, to water and berries for food. In the same way, our dreams direct us to the course of our own joy, shelter, and nourishment.
Sometimes as we fly, we bump into disappointments. They may temporarily stun us or slow us down. But just like birds that are occasionally wounded, we can heal ourselves and fly again. We can choose to not let the hardships of life break our spirited wings. Rather, we can keep spreading our wings, soaring in the spirit of joy.
Am I flying today, or must I heal a wound first?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Gardening is an active participation in the deepest mysteries of the universe. --Thomas Berry
We grow in our spirituality by participating in activities that convey a sense of awe and mystery. Tending growing plants does this for some of us. Playing and listening to music, appreciating and creating art and literature do it for others. Hiking in the wilderness, camping, fishing, hunting, or photography have the same value. Membership in a religious group and attending services are other important ways. Engaging in the loving feelings in relationships does this for many of us.
As men in recovery, we need active ways to move beyond the boundaries of our own skins. We need to know we are part of a larger whole which has mysteries we cannot fully solve. When we identify our own ways of being spiritual, we can give them more respect. Perhaps we can also explore some other ways we have not developed.
Today, I will participate in the mysteries and beauties of life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Insight is cheap. --Martha Roth
For years we kept ourselves in a split condition: With one part of our minds we looked at ourselves and said, "I do some self-destructive things because I don't believe I deserve love." When we became involved with unsuitable people or abused our bodies, we said, "I am punishing myself--I am expecting too much--I neglect my own needs."
We may see clearly how and why we get in our own way. But unless we have faith in a power greater than ourselves, we won't step aside. We won't let go. We'll do the same thing and "understand" ourselves in the same ways. We may even use our "insight" to keep ourselves stuck--to protect ourselves from the risk of change.
Now, having had a spiritual awakening, having come to believe that a higher power can restore us, we possess a gift more powerful than the keenest insight--faith in our ability to grow and change. We are children of God. All the creative power of the universe streams through us, if we don't block it.
Today, I will have faith, and all will be well.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Recovery Prayer
This prayer is based on a section of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today.
For the next twenty-four hours, I pray for knowledge of Your will for me only, and the power to carry that through.
Please free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, dishonesty, and wrong motives.
Send me the right thought, word, or action. Show me what my next step should be. In times of doubt and indecision, please send Your inspiration and guidance.
I ask that You might help me work through all my problems, to Your glory and honor.
This prayer is a recovery prayer. It can take us through any situation. In the days ahead, we'll explore the ideas in it. If we pray this prayer, we can trust it has been answered with a yes.
Today, I will trust that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. I will do my part - working the Twelve Steps and letting God do the rest.


I am letting go of all self-criticism today and changing all my judging thoughts to thoughts of love. I am becoming softer and more gentle and accepting of myself, making more space to feel joy and love. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart – May

Learn to Release Old Toxins

Just as splinters can get embedded in our body, old emotions and beliefs can act like toxins and become embedded in us,too. We may have picked up residue along the way– beliefs we didn’t consciously choose, feelings we weren’t safe enough to feel, toxins from the world around us.

Now is a time of cleansing. Now is the time to heal your body and emotions, your mind and soul.

What beliefs and emotions do you need to heal? Look around at your life right now. What are you thinking? What are you talking about? What issues are cropping up in your life? Who are you talking about? What are you remembering? Who has come back into your life? What hurts? Is the feeling familiar? When have you felt it before?

Once you’ve identified what you’re feeling and thinking, release it. Let the energy go. Let it leave your body. You can chatter all you want about what’s going on with you, but that doesn’t release the energy from your system anymore than talking about a splinter takes it out. Sometimes the process will sting just a bit when you pull out the splinter. But don’t worry. It won’t hurt for long. And soon you’ll feel better that you’ve felt in a long while.

Often the process of releasing old toxins can be as gentle and natural as the way a flower or tree grows with sunshine and rain, a bit of fertile soil, and a little pruning and weeding.

Growth can be gentle now. Growth can be fun. Breathe in new air. Breathe in new energy. Exhale the past, its feelings, beliefs, and toxins. Let it go. Let yourself be transformed.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Learn to say when

Chip turned the rented four-wheel drive Chevy Blazer off the road and into an open field. The three of us, Chip, Andy, and myself, were in Florida on a spur-of-the-moment road trip. We had met Andy at the dop zone, where he’d been trying out for a skydiving team. Now the three of us were on our way to Orlando. It had rained the day before. We started to tear through the field, when the right wheels slipped into a ditch.

Chip rocked the truck, backward and forward. The right wheels sunk deeper. Andy hopped out of the truck, looked around, and then climbed back in. “We’re stuck,” he said.

“I’ve got my cell phone,” I said. “I’ll call for help….”

Chip and Andy stared at me.

“You said you wanted an adventure,” Chip said. “Well, this is it.”

We all got out of the Blazer. The right wheels were entrenched in a ravine, and a large log was jammed into the underside of the vehicle. Andy had a plan. We’d each go try to find boards or wood that could be placed under the wheels. We returned twenty minutes later. The guys popped the wood under the tires. Chip got in the truck. The engine revved. The wheels spun. Mud sprayed. The truck didn’t move.

“I could call a tow truck,” I offered again.

About one-quarter mile away from the field was an intersection that promised, at least eventually, some passersby. We tromped to the intersection and waited. Before long, we flagged down an old Cadillac with a man and a young woman in it.

The man promised to return in a few minutes with his truck and his brother.

About fifteen minutes later, the two men and the woman appeared in a truck. They hooked a chain to the Blazer. Then they got in their truck and drove slowly away. They revved their engine. Mud sprayed. Then snap, the chain broke.

We looked at their truck. We looked at the stuck, muddy Blazer. We looked at the broken chain.

“Sorry,” the two men said.

“Thanks for trying,” we said. “Try calling a towing place,” the taller of the two men said. “They’ll come and get you out.”

Andy, Chip, and I got back into the stuck truck.

“Well,” I said. “Are you ready to call a tow truck now?”

The truck arrived. The professional tower had us out in fifteen minutes, and we were on our way to Orlando. We had been stuck for more than six hours. The entire time, we all knew what we had to do to get out: call the tow truck. For a variety of reasons, we didn’t want to do that until we got tired of being stuck.

Sometimes, getting stuck is the adventure at hand. We might not know what to do to move forward. Or we may be enjoying the drama of being stuck. We may be stuck at a plateau in our career. We may be stuck in our spiritual growth. We may have at one time liked and wanted to be where we’ve found ourselves, but now it’s time to move on.

Learning to say when– whether it’s when we want something more, or something else, or when we’ve had enough– is an important part of using in the language of letting go.

God, help me remember that I have the power to say when.

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In God’s Care

Loving can cost a lot, not loving always costs more.
~~Merle Shain

We are invited to choose and express loving thoughts throughout every day. This often means surrendering our opinions or desires for the moment. It means, quite frequently, honoring another’s needs above our own. In this way it costs us. And yet, giving up the struggle for the winning opinion or relinquishing our desire to control plans brings rewards. We will feel peaceful with surrender. We will know that God has entered our consciousness.

If we never surrender, if we never give in to love, we are kept distant from our true selves and the people we yearn to be close to. Our loneliness in the midst of our friends will bring much more pain than the momentary pinch of surrender – a pinch that in reality promises peace.

I will choose surrender over control, love over self-satisfaction with my friends today.

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The Day’s Closing
Evenings by Madisyn Taylor

Evening time is often overlooked in our busy lives, but is an important time of day for reflection on our day's actions.

From the beginning of time, a richly colored twinge of dusk touching the eastern horizon, the lengthening of shadows, and the appearance of the evening’s first star have let us know that it was time to rest, relax, and retire from the pressures of the day. For human beings and other living things that tend to be most active in daylight, evenings can be less hectic and more relaxing, as we prepare for sleep and spend quality time with our loved ones. But evenings are about much more than dinner and the feel of a cool, soft pillow. Evenings are a wonderful time to catalog the events of the day without distraction, to revel in gentle solitude or silence, to end the day in serenity, and to commune with your inner self.

There are many ways to turn the evening into a nurturing and soul enriching experience. A simple stroll through the realms of dusk and darkness can show you two different worlds: one winding down and one just coming to life. In the evening, the sounds we humans make begin to diminish, and the sounds of earth’s more nocturnal creatures and nature itself become more apparent. As night slowly falls, scents change, and the smell of the soil and greenery become magnified. Sky gazing in the evenings can be a meditative activity – one that reminds us that we are only one part of an infinitely complex and vast universe. Each night, the different phases of the moon show us the passage of time and the waxing and waning of life, as its glowing visage – whether in the shape of a circle, crescent, or a smile –bathes the world in an ethereal, wistful glow.

As crickets chirp and night birds cry out, evening rituals and routines can make your day feel complete, help you unwind from the day’s busyness, and pave the way for rejuvenating sleep. Rituals and routines help you say goodnight to the present day, so you can look forward to the next one. While the sun sets, try doing a series of stretches, lighting some candles, or watching the daylight fade. The soothing, natural beauty of each evening can be your backdrop, as you meditate, quiet your soul, and relax into the peace and stillness that can be found at day’s end. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

For those of us who have lost our faith, or who have alwways had to struggle along without it, it’s often helpful just to accept — blindly and with no reservations. It’s not necessary for us to believe at first; we need not be convinced. If we can only accept, we find ourselves becoming gradually aware of a force for good that’s always there to help us. Have I taken the way of faith?

Today I Pray

May I abandon my need to know the why’s and wherefore’s of my trust in a Higher Power. May I not intellectualize about faith, since by its nature it precludes analysis. May I know that “head-tripping” was a symptom of my disease, as I strung together — cleverly, I thought — alibi upon excuse upon rationale. May I learn acceptance, and faith will follow.

Today I Will Remember

Faith follows Acceptance.

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Food For Thought

We Are Insatiable

Those of us who overeat compulsively can never be satisfied with food, no matter how much we eat. As we work the program, we discover (if we had not known it before) that we are insatiable in other areas, too. No amount of anything satisfies us for long; we soon need more.

We are each created with a spiritual longing which is not filled by anything temporal. What St. Augustine said hundreds of years ago - that our hearts are restless until they find their rest in God - is equally true today. Spiritual food is required to satisfy our spiritual hunger. The fruits of this world are good in their proper place, but when we idolize them we sell ourselves short. Created things in and of themselves are not enough; our hearts can accept nothing less than communion with the Creator.

We are children of God, and the things of this world do not fully satisfy us.

May we find our true rest and satisfaction in You.

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One Day At A Time

SHARING OUR STORIES
" You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it,
you go home and share it with your family."
Anita Baker

For much of my life I tried to be “Strong.” I kept silent about my own suffering and focused instead on others people’s needs and how I could help them. Though I could listen and offer advice, I lacked empathy and understanding.

When my stoic, stubborn, and silent avoidance of my own struggles finally made my life unmanageable, I entered recovery. By listening to stories shared by others, I have been blessed. I have found that none of us walk this path alone. We learn from each other and from the strength of traditions. I have found empathy.

I came to see that my silence was born from weakness, not from strength. It was shame, fear, and pride, which kept me hiding. Now I find great joy and freedom in sharing my story with others. I am particularly grateful to God for the way He used my story with my Dad.

My crisis not only drove me to seek help, but it freed my Dad to get help too. If I had remained silent, not only would I have been destroyed, but I would have robbed my Dad of the acceptance and freedom to admit and seek the help he needed ~ and that has so profoundly changed his life.

One day at a time...
I will recognize that my history and my current experiences are not to be hidden in silence. I will share my story with others.
~Lisa V.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men. We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this. - Pgs. 22-23 - There Is A Solution

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

The question is not if you will recover, but how.

Although giving up drugs and alcohol shatters my illusions about who I was, I use the duration to shape myself into a better being through the 12 Steps.

Gifts

Today I will be thankful for the many gifts that are mine. Life is a gift. Health is a gift. Love is a gift. Friends and family are gifts. If I take the time to say thank you, I have so many things to be thankful for. When I learn to say thank you, to give praise and gratitude, my life immediately feels more full.

I embrace the gifts that surround me

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Although thoughts are things, they are not actions; although feelings are real, they are not facts. They only have the power we give them through our actions.

When I act kindly, I give power to loving thoughts and feelings; when I use harsh words and 'get even' I give power to angry thoughts and feelings.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Prayer does not change the situation, it changes the person who prays.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

When I look within, I find that I have all that I need. It feels wonderful to discover that I already am the beautiful person that I would like to be.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I have no medical evidence that I have brain damage, but I know this; that good feeling I got after about four beers or a couple of shots; that complete feeling of well-being, self confidence and self acceptance - happy, joyous and free. That's the exhilaration of brain cells dying. - Doug D.