Wisdom For Today - April

[bluidkiti]

April 30

Wisdom for Today
One hard lesson we all had to learn is that we will never be the same again. Once we got the program given to us, this gift changed us forever. Some of us have tried to go back out there and found out the hard way that drinking and using drugs just wasn't what we thought it would be. Relapse is a hard lesson; and once we have tried it, we soon find out that the fantasy of normal drinking or social use was just that, a fantasy. We think to ourselves, "Maybe they were right after all. I am not able to control it. It controls me."
Relapse frequently ends up with feelings of extreme guilt, shame and loneliness. The consequences are often profound. This is why it is so important for us to get back to the program and stay there. We learn the hard way, but the important thing is that we learn. I finally had to ask myself, "How far do I want to dig this hole I have gotten into. I had to go back and walk through the doors again and start over. I had to learn what I didn't learn when I first walked through the doors of the program. Today I know that I can't go back. I don't even want to. The program has given me so much that I do not want to even risk losing it again. I'm glad I will never be the same again. Have I stopped digging the hole deeper?
Meditations for the Heart
I have been in meetings with individuals whose religious training was far superior to mine. I have watched them struggle with the reality that all their convictions and beliefs had not stopped the insanity of addiction. I have watched as these same individuals questioned why their faith had failed, and others have succeeded. "Why didn't all my religious training save me from this insanity?" they ask. It is not that their training did not save them, rather it is the best example that faith alone does not work. If we sit on the sideline faithfully waiting for God to fix us, nothing happens. Yet when we attend every practice session and work hard to develop our skills, God sees that we have been faithful in our effort and rewards us by sending us into the game of life. We have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. We cannot simply hope our way into recovery. For me recovery comes not so much because I have faith, instead it comes because I am faithful in following where I am led. Am I willing to be faithful?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Am I ever grateful that I have learned that I no longer need to keep digging the hole of addiction. More so, I am glad that I have been taught to do the repair work needed to keep my recovery going strong. Today I will be faithful to Your calling and Your direction. Lead me on this path to where You wish me to be.
Amen