Today's Thought - April

[bluidkiti]

April 10

Train Wreck

I have been out-maneuvered by The Addict, who keeps turning the right thing into the wrong thing. A train wreck (or two) is coming; I can feel it. A train wreck is coming if someone (or two) doesn’t get onto the right track, fast.

I am hunkered down behind the protective wall I’ve erected in my heart and head, awaiting the disaster that seems impossible to avoid. I don’t know the scope of the devastation looming ahead—I don’t know when it will occur, or which one of us will be crushed first.

Caught up in this slow-motion nightmare, I’m chugging along toward some unknown tragedy—maybe even my child’s death—yet I can’t think of what I need to do to stop it. I cower here, stunned into inaction by events that are too frequent, too awful, and too out of control. Caught up for too long in the tailwind of my child’s wild ride with addiction, I have been dragged and battered and bruised. I wonder if I’ll still be standing at the end of this ordeal, whenever that might be and wherever this might go.

Sometimes we have to let go of what’s killing us, even if it’s killing us to let go.

Today's reading is from the book Tending Dandelions, Honest Meditations for Mothers with Addicted Children