Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2021

[bluidkiti]

September 13

Quote of the Week

"I’ve never regretted something bad I didn’t say."

Restraint of pen and tongue was a foreign concept to me when I arrived in the rooms. Before recovery, I was quick to speak my mind, even when my mind wasn’t made up—it didn’t matter. I was quick to retaliate for perceived wrongs, quick to take your inventory when I was feeling less than, and quick to tear you down to make myself feel better. And if I had been drinking, the insults, judgments, and condemnations flowed even more. Afterward, regret was heavy, and the familiar feelings of shame would descend, forcing me to retreat into the bottle once again.

When I got sober, I heard the saying that feelings weren’t facts. As such, I was told that I didn’t have to act on every feeling I had. Instead, I could write about them, pray about them, and share them with other people. I could restrain from acting on them and wait until I had clear direction as to how to react. What I found was that nine times out of ten the feelings would pass, and I was glad I hadn’t acted on them. I was also relieved that I had less regrets because I hadn’t said hurtful things.

Now that I’m sober awhile I still have to be constantly vigilant about acting on or saying things that I might regret later. For instance, in my new neighborhood, a neighbor’s dog barks pretty much constantly, and I’m pretty annoyed. I’ve written an anonymous letter expressing how irritating it is, but I haven’t delivered it yet. As time passes I’ve been very relieved as I know I’ve avoided the guilt and shame that I would feel if the neighborhood discovered I was the letter writer. And besides, when I’m in my house, I don’t even hear the dog! Today, I really feel the truth in the words “I’ve never regretted something bad I didn’t say.”