Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2021

[bluidkiti]

August 16

Quote of the Week

"Reality is always so much kinder than the story I tell myself about it."

When I was drinking and my life was unraveling, even worse than what was happening was the story I told myself about it. To start with, I thought most people hated me—almost as much as I hated myself—but I found out later they just felt bad for me and wished I would recover. I also thought I had ruined my career and would never be hired again. And as far as ever having a relationship, the story I painted proved that I would be alone forever. At the end of my drinking, the reality of my life seemed quite dark indeed.

When I entered recovery, I brought my dark stories with me. As I lay in bed at night, I was consumed with negative thoughts about the damage I had done, and I felt for sure I had done irreparable harm. I constantly obsessed about my health and worried I had cancer or some other horrible disease. I feared my financial wreckage and could feel the IRS and the banks closing in. When I shared these stories with my sponsor, he simply told me to look at my feet. “My feet?” I cried incredulously. He said, “Right here in today’s reality, are you okay?” I admitted I was. “Then if you stay in today and out of your head, one day at a time, you will be fine.”

It wasn’t always easy to stay in today, and I still struggle with it sometimes, but when I do I find the reality of my life is much different than the stories I tell myself about it. In reality, I not only have everything I need to be happy, joyous, and free, but I have more than I could ask for. Today, I have a God of my own understanding that continues to perform miracles in my life. I am surrounded by a caring fellowship that is loving and supportive. Today, I have the awareness to know that the reality of my life is much better than any story I can make up about it. And for this, I am eternally grateful.