Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2021

[bluidkiti]

July 12

Quote of the Week

"Our neighbor’s window looks much cleaner if we first wash our own."

Now that it’s hot again, I’ve begun sleeping with the windows open to let in some of the cooler evening air. My neighbor must have the same idea because her window is open as well, and the sound of her TV carries in the still summer air, sometimes making it hard to go to sleep. Even though she’s eighty-two years old and probably hard of hearing, and is the perfect neighbor otherwise, I easily become indignant and start with the “How dare she!” ranting. How soon I tend to forget. . . .

For years while drinking, I carried on like a madman. I played my music as loud as I could stand it, late into the night, and often partied with friends and family on the patio next to my neighbor’s living room. I had no awareness or concern for anyone but myself, and through it all, my neighbor remained calm and respectful and never said a word. You’d think that now that I’m in recovery, I’d have more empathy and understanding, but that’s not always my first reaction.

What I’ve found is that I have little initial tolerance for behaviors I used to practice with abandon. As an ex-smoker, for example, I’m an antismoker now and am irritated and resentful if someone smokes within twenty feet of me. Through it all, I have learned to continually ask for understanding and tolerance from my Higher Power, and I’ve learned that it’s up to me to take the high road and set the example with my behavior. And I find that when I do, everything works out for the best. I find that my neighbor’s window looks much cleaner when I wash my own first.

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July 19

Quote of the Week

"If a drink solved problems, I would have solved a lot of problems."

I seriously used to think that drinking helped me manage my problems and my life better. When I got too stressed to think straight, a drink or two would immediately relax me and enable me to think differently. In my creative life, I always wrote or drew much better after a few drinks. And after a few more drinks, I sometimes had epiphanies that I were sure could change the world. Unfortunately, when I sobered up, my problems were still there, plus some additional ones caused by my drinking.

When my sponsor told me I wasn’t going to drink alcohol anymore—not even beer!—I was shocked. But how was I going to make it through all my problems and stress? I wondered. And what about all those deep creative insights? As we talked through things, he helped me see that those “creative moments” I had while loaded, those that I wrote down at least, made almost no sense when I sobered up. Also, after inventories centered on my drinking, it was clear that alcohol didn’t solve any of my problems.

It took many years of journaling, meetings, and Step work, but today I know that I am much more creative and disciplined now that I’m not drinking. Today, I don’t just think of things, I do them. I’ve also found that I handle my problems and stress so much better with a clear head and a Higher Power in my life. Plus, I create a lot less mayhem! Sobriety has given me the life that alcohol promised but never delivered. And that’s why I begin each day with gratitude.