If You Want What We Have

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"If You Want What We Have"
Sponsorship Meditations
by Joan Larkin

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Say what you mean and mean what you say, but don't be mean when you say it. Saying Heard At Meetings

Newcomer

At a meeting I went to, the chairman made comments every time someone shared. Isn't that what they call "cross talk"?

Sponsor

Certain customs vary from meeting to meeting. I've heard more than one definition of "cross talk" and seen some differences in whether or not it's considered permissible to respond when others are sharing.
At most meetings, it's not customary to respond directly to what another person shares by offering opinions or advice. It's fine, though, to identify with what's been said and to share our own experience on a related feeling or topic. At some meetings the speaker responds to sharing, but rarely interrupts, even with a brief, good-humored comment. At others, the speaker simply says ""thank you"---or nothing at all. Limiting cross talk promotes the habit of tolerance and helps create an atmosphere in which it's safe to share openly and honestly.
Other customs, too, vary from fellowship to fellowship, from place to place throughout the country, even from meeting to meeting in the same city or town. Some meetings give out chips to mark anniversaries; some celebrate them with cakes and presentations. Some meetings sell raffle tickets; the prize is usually program literature. Some meetings prohibit smoking. Such policies may be dictated by local custom or decided at business meetings or "group conscience" meetings.
Recovery keeps offering us opportunities to become more flexible and tolerant.

Today, I am open and flexible. I cultivate lightness as I look and listen.