Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - June

[bluidkiti]

June 16

Step by Step

" ...'Faith without works is dead.' ...We have made a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 ("Into Action"), p 76.

Today, to what lengths will I go for "victory over alcohol" or reconciling myself to the injuries I inflicted on others during my drinking days? The Eighth and Ninth Steps tell us to surrender with absolute humility by asking our higher power for the strength and courage to do His will, not ours, and facing and apologizing to the victims of the damage we inflicted. That we might not be willing to make amends to someone does not give us an easy out. We must continue to ask for the will to do so "until it comes." In making amends that are required, we may be accomplishing more than taking responsibility for the damage we caused. We finally can be done with the guilt, shame and regret we have carried and reconcile ourselves to the sickness of our spirit. And in doing so, we can start to heal. How far will I go for "victory over alcohol?" Today, any length. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GOOD PEOPLE

I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see; I sought my God, but my God eluded me; I sought my brother, and I found all three.

~ Anonymous ~

The Fellowship is filled with good people. We meet men and women who have suffered greatly as a result of their addiction. Sometimes we have to talk with them to find the goodness underneath their many layers of scars. Before finding the Program, these men and women, like us, had never been able to find what they were looking for in life.

We were looking for love in all the wrong places. It was truly painful to be out of touch with our soul arid to have no conscious contact with our Higher Power. This was the source of most of our pain. We know this because it is now the source of all our peace, joy, and serenity.

I can remember the moment I found my soul and my Higher Power. After all the searching outside myself, I found them deep within me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Loss is another word for change.

~ M. Taring ~

We don’t always realize how loss and grief are natural parts of life. Every change contains a loss within it. If we get a job promotion, we lose some elements of our work that are familiar and maybe enjoyable. If we get married, we lose the independence of the single life. If we choose recovery, we lose the friends we had in our addiction and codependency. And, of course, when we lose a loved one, the changes that follow are never chosen, but they may actually lead us toward new possibilities.

Surprisingly, every loss, every grief, has embedded within it the gift of a new beginning. In the midst of our losses, we can seldom see the gift. We don’t want to lose what we love. And grief is a necessary part of letting go. Grief is the wail of pain that comes when we know we must let go. And then life goes on. There is life after loss! It is a changed life. Perhaps nothing will ever be the same as it was. But it can become a new stage of our life, deeper and richer, even though we never could have imagined it.

Today I embrace change, even knowing it means some loss.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Don’t dismiss your feelings, however painful.
They won’t last forever.

~ Abby Warman ~

Our feelings signal our thoughts. We have often said, “I feel depressed or angry or lonely or insecure, but I don’t know why.” It’s not actually true that we don’t know why. But we aren’t always eager to take responsibility for our feelings, because when we do, we also have to take charge of changing them if we don’t like them.

Twelve Step programs teach us that our thoughts always precede our feelings. This means that we think what we want to think; therefore, we feel what we want to feel. Thus we must acknowledge our feelings in order to adjust the thoughts that influenced them.

It’s really not that difficult to change our thinking. It seems hard only if we haven’t practiced much. The joy is that our feelings will follow. Painful feelings indicate painful thoughts. Joyful feelings follow the same pattern.

My feelings today are my indicator of what I’m thinking. It’s up to me how I spend these hours.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to feel less angry

I feel angry much of the time these days. Nothing pleases me and everything seems to set me off. I feel tired and tense. i feel guilty and angry at myself. Is this just part of recovery?

After my support group confronted me about this, my counselor followed up with a technique to help me adjust my perspective. For example, when I feel my anger building, perhaps I can limit it by saying to myself: "l am feeling a great deal of anger lately," or by gently reminding myself, "I am especially sensitive to change these days." Or, instead of thinking in black and white, for instance‒"My treatment program isn't working"‒I might rephrase the thought as, "I'm not feeling as good right now as I expected to." I think this strategy works. I am more relaxed already.

I will pick one problem that is troubling me today and rephrase it to make room for some acceptance.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Consider the little mouse, how sagacious an animal it is which never entrusts its life to one hole only.

~ Plautus ~

Active addiction left us unable to create an even flow of events. Even now, when we strike a balance, we feel old urges to engage in unhealthy, irresponsible living. Over time these urges fade, but it’s still a dangerous time for many. We unwittingly seek to recreate the old familiar life because it’s comfortable and seems most natural to us. To guard against this, we need to maintain our desire for steady, serene recovery.

If we can punctuate our days with a manageable routine, we will enjoy greater stability. We can begin the day with a quiet time for prayer or meditation, include healthy meal plans, set time aside for exercise, work, school, or family, and stay in contact with others who share our recovery. The routines of good rest, exercise, regular meal times, prayer, and meetings are the skeleton on which the body of our recovery program can grow. Each of these activities is a reward in itself, and serves to remind us of what our new lives have to offer.

Today help me enjoy my regular schedule of activities as gifts to myself.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Love and fear. Everything the father of a family says must inspire one or the other.

~ Joseph Joubert ~

When you were growing up, your father may have been someone you feared or someone who provided you with great comfort. He may have been there for you when you really needed him, or he may have been so caught up in his own addiction or overly devoted to things outside of the home that he had little time to spend with you.

While parents can be some of the greatest influencers in life, they are—just like you—imperfect human beings. They are on a journey of discovery to find out who they are as an adult and who they need to be as a parent. They must tend to their own growth as well as to the growth of their children. Sometimes parents succeed in these endeavors—and sometimes they fail.

No matter how you feel about your father, it is far better to forgive him for his failures or shortcomings than to hold onto anger or sadness. It is far better to give credit for those things he was able to give you rather than regret that you did not get everything you wanted from him.

Today I will think about my father with compassion and understanding.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Love comes unseen; we only see it go.

~ Austin Dobson ~

How often are we blind to love shown us by others? Yet we are always aware when love is taken from us. Suddenly we feel helpless, alone, rejected, and full of despair. "No one will ever love me again!" we may cry. Yet all around us are loving people, ready to give their support.

If we only equate love with a sexual relationship, we will never see love's beauty. Love comes in so many forms and from so many people. When we experience the loss of a love, we may believe we have lost all the love that will ever be shown to us.

Love is more than Valentine's Day and passion and giddy feelings of ecstasy. When we desire love in that form, we are like addicts craving a drug. The effects are blissful, but they are only temporary. Love that lasts, that stays with patience and strength, is the love that binds all of humanity. It is what makes us smile at a stranger, it’s what makes long-term friendships, it’s what makes us feel pain, as well as joy. Love is the connection we have with every person in our lives.

Tonight, I feel the love I have for others and the love they have for me. I can learn to see the love that exists all around me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Taking off the masks

We’re not much different from other people (except that we couldn’t stop abusing mood- altering chemicals). Like other people, we, too, wear masks. We’re afraid that others will find out who we really are, especially since we no longer hide behind chemicals.

But if we work the program, we will get stronger. If we work the program, we won’t need our masks because we will accept our-selves (and others) more.

Can I stop wearing my masks?

Higher Power, help me work the Steps and to accept myself and my recovery.

Today I will practice treating myself well. I will practice being myself with

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

You never find yourself until you face the truth.

~ PEARL BAILEY ~

Newcomer

Step Six doesn’t seem like anything I need to spend much time doing. I’ve always wanted to get over my shortcomings. I don’t think much soul-searching is required.

Sponsor

There’s a reason that Step Six includes the word “entirely” in “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” Taking this Step requires a measure of thoroughness and honesty beyond even what we asked of ourselves in Steps Four and Five. We go deeper, not simply admitting the impact of our behavior. We try to determine whether certain undesirable behaviors have somehow served a positive function in our lives that make us reluctant to let go of them permanently. For example, an addictive substance or behavior may have made social life or work easier for us for a time. Though we don’t want to return to the addiction, we may be convinced that we can’t relate successfully to others or accomplish anything worthwhile in the world without it.

Or perhaps there’s something we’ve done repeatedly that makes us feel guilty and reinforces a sense of shame. Unpleasant as it feels, we’re used to it; it makes us recognizable to ourselves and maintains the status quo in our relationships. We may fear that if we let go of it completely, the self we know and depend on will die. Taking time for Step Six can help us become willing to let go.

Today, I trust that I am whole without my old, unproductive attitudes and behaviors.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics are in all things extremists. We either overindulge or we must abstain entirely. Drinking is not the only field however, when this characteristics is noticeable−it exists even in the way we practice our AA.

Many of us who thought nothing of paying ten or even twenty dollars a quart for liquor in Prohibition days, feel that we are more than generous when we drop a quarter in the basket on meeting nights.

Probably if we all loosened up a little more, our Committees would be able to do those things that we now criticize them for not doing.

A cheap brand of AA is no bargain.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I am a child of God
In God I live and move and have my being
So I have no fear
I am surrounded by the peace of God
And all is well
I am not afraid of people‒
I am not afraid of things‒
I am not afraid of circumstances‒
I am not afraid of sickness
For God is with me
The peace of God fills my soul
And I have no fear.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

EVER-PRESENT HELP

Resignation in defeat is really a sin.

If an old problem continues to stick−pray for inspiration and intelligence. Stop struggling and thank God constantly for setting you free.

If nervous or frightened-throw the responsibility on God, and tell Him that you know you are safe in His hands.

If someone is being troublesome−see only the Presence of God where the troublesome person seems to be.

If you want to make faster progress-claim understanding and affirm that divine love is working through you.

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you (1 Peter 5:7 ).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Margin of Greatness

Ride on! Rough-shod if need be, smooth-shod if that will do, but ride on! Ride on over all obstacles, and win the race!

~ Charles Dickens ~

!n major league baseball, a batting average of .250 is respectable. If a player with this average is also a decent fielder, he can expect a secure and lengthy career. If a player hits .300, he is a star. He will receive multimillion-dollar contracts, you will see his face on shaving cream commercials, and his baseball card will be pricey. Consider the difference between an average player and a star: a .250 average means 5 hits out of 20; a .300 average is 6 hits out of 20. The margin of greatness is but one hit out of 20!

Sometimes just a little extra effort is all we need to put us over the edge to huge success. In your career, family, or spiritual path, try to stretch beyond your perceived limits. A little extra patience with a customer could make her a lifetime client and bring you her friends' business. A seminar participant told me that she signed up to an intensive workshop simply because I had responded to a letter she had written me. An extra kind touch, one more deep breath, or a willingness to listen could make the difference between a modest salary and a million-dollar contract, or a life of mere survival and a glorious adventure.

Move me to be all I can be. I don't want to simply glow; I want to shine. Help me fulfill my highest potential today.

Today I go beyond anything I have done before.
I am willing to be great.