Today's Thought - November

[bluidkiti]

November 16

Reflection for the Day

As a doubter tries the process of prayer, it becomes important to add up the results that come from it. Persistence almost surely brings more serenity, more tolerance, less fear, and less anger. Prayer helps us acquire a quiet courage—the kind that isn’t tension-ridden. Through prayer, we can begin to look at “failure” and “success” for what they really are. Problems and calamity will begin to mean our instruction instead of our destruction. We’ll feel freer and saner. Have wonderful and unaccountable things begun to happen to me in my new life?
Today I Pray

Through prayer, communion with a Higher Power, may I begin to see my life sort itself out. May I become less tense, more sane, more open, more courageous, more loving, less tangled in problems, less afraid of losing, less afraid of living. May I know that my Higher Power wants these things for me, and may my Higher Power’s will be done.
Today I Will Remember

To be still and know my Higher Power.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

[bluidkiti]

November 17

We can allow other people their own journeys.

Accepting that each of us has a specific “mission,” a unique journey on this earth, frees us to focus on our own lives. It’s not always easy, however. We may be drawn to others’ pain. We may worry about the unnecessary conflicts in their lives. We may feel the impact of their irresponsibility far too often. But we must remember, again and again, that whatever they do is not for us to judge. Our mission is not to change them or their journey. We can change only our focus.

Letting go of others gives us time that we may not know how to utilize initially. We have grown accustomed to worrying about others, and it has controlled our behavior and thoughts. And at first, being free of anxiety leaves us feeling empty. How lucky for us that we have the Second and Third Steps to guide us through this period of adjustment. It’s quite a change to focus on our journey only. Our Higher Power is waiting to guide us.

I must let others walk their own paths today. God will help me walk mine if I ask for guidance.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

[bluidkiti]

November 18

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.

~Doug Larson

We are men on a quest. We seek the serenity of being friendly toward the world and toward ourselves. The spiritual practices we follow are personal and quiet, not spectacular or dazzling. We have been part of the throng seeking stimulating highs. Some of us know the excitement and escape of saving others from their own troubles or drowning ourselves in activity and work. We may know the mellowness of a drug or food binge. Perhaps we know the heart-pounding intensity of shoplifting, gambling, or physical pursuit.

The way of life suggested by this simple program changes us deeply if we fully surrender to it. This spiritual quest changes us slowly over time, and our reward is contentment. It produces a joy, a feeling of well-being, that is far richer than the momentary pleasures we sought in the past.

Today, I am grateful for a way of life that leads me toward a contentment I can rely on.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

[bluidkiti]

November 19

After-Burn

“How could I do it? How could I say it? Even though I meant it, I still feel ashamed, guilty, and afraid.” This is a common reaction to new, exciting recovery behaviors. Anything to do with owning our power and taking care of ourselves can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, and fear.

We do not have to allow these feelings to control us. They’re a backlash. They’re after-burn. Let them burn out. When we start confronting and attacking feelings and messages, we will experience some after-burn. The after-burn is what we allowed to control us all our life—shame and guilt.

Many of us grew up with shame-based messages that it wasn’t okay to take care of ourselves, be honest, be direct, and own our power with people. Many of us grew up with messages that it wasn’t okay to be who we were and resolve problems in relationships. Many of us grew up with the message that what we want and need isn’t okay. Let it all burn off. We don’t have to take after-burn so seriously. We don’t let the after-burn convince us that we are wrong and don’t have a right to take care of ourselves and set boundaries.

Do we really have the right to take care of ourselves? Do we really have the right to set boundaries? Do we really have the right to be direct and say what we need to say? You bet we do.

Today, I will let any after-burn which sets in after I practice a new recovery behavior, burn off. I will not take it so seriously. God, help me let go of my shame and needless fears about what will happen to me if I really start caring for and loving myself.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

[bluidkiti]

November 20

Compassion is daring to acknowledge our mutual destiny so that we might move forward…together.

~Henri Nouwen

Thank God for our friends in the program! Especially those who started out before we did, who were waiting for us when we came in. How else could we know that fear was the problem? Who else could have shown us that fear could be faced? Because they had faced their own fear, they could see beyond our mask of loud talk, constant boasting, and flippant put-downs. They could see through all that because they’d already seen the lost child in their own eyes.

Because they admit and accept their own failures, they are neither too permissive nor too hard on the failures of others. They know the truth—that failure is a part of life. Because they themselves have tasted tragedy, they are blessedly free of the judgments, the all-knowing verdicts, passed down by so many others. May we always be grateful for these people who knew us and loved us before they even met us!

Today, I pray that every good thing will come to the generous people who invited me to come along.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

[bluidkiti]

November 21

Character is what a person is in the dark.

~Dwight L. Moody

How many of us act differently when no one can see us? During the worst days of our illness, we used to steal, lie, and leave messes for someone else to pick up. It is often said in the rooms of recovery that “we are as sick as our secrets.”

The longer we are in recovery, the more clear the answer becomes: we are the same person wherever we go whether anyone can see us or not.

Most often the things we used to “get away with” hurt us a lot more than they hurt anyone else. We practice being responsible to ourselves because we know what we are doing. We practice on the little things, like making our bed every morning, whether anyone knows it or not. Why? Because we feel better when we have done our little duties. We practice telling the truth, especially to ourselves, because our addiction wants to make us dishonest.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please help me heal and recover, even in the most secret parts of my life.
Today's Action

Have I done anything today that I am keeping secret? Why? When I really take a good look at my secrets, what do I think about them?

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

[bluidkiti]

November 22

No is an affirmation of life just as yes is. Only falsehood is death. Lying to oneself is a defect of the spirit.

~Romain Rolland

Every day we pray for the willingness to make sane choices about our lives. In the morning, when we awaken, the way we feel gives us an idea of whether the day will be easy or difficult. If we’re not feeling our strongest, we need to take special care of our abstinence that day.

That might mean a phone call, writing out how we plan to confront a difficult situation, writing affirmations to take with us, or thinking ahead to potential danger. Do we need to avoid a certain part of town, make a contract not to call an old acquaintance, or stay away from certain music? If we’re planning to go to a movie this evening, do we need to choose the movie with extra care? People, places, things, and events that can trigger our addiction are everywhere, and it’s up to us to act before, not react after. Our abstinence is a gift to be cared for and strengthened, “One day at a time.”

There are days when maintaining abstinence is more difficult than other days. On these days I will take special care to ensure my abstinence.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

[bluidkiti]

November 23

Forgiving

Joy to forgive and joy to be forgiven hang level in the balances of love.

~Richard Garnett

If we are unable or unwilling to forgive others for whatever they do, we won’t be able to forgive ourselves for our actions. The agony of resentment, guilt, remorse, and shame will overpower us. These emotions will halt our progress toward the comfortable and rewarding living we are promised in recovery.

Early in recovery, we often were told to pray for those whom we thought had wronged us. This philosophy is as old as civilization. Forgiveness will always triumph over guilt and shame. Recovery is one-third love and two-thirds forgiveness.

We’ve been our own worst enemies during most of our lives. We’ve often hurt ourselves over what we thought was justifiable anger and resentment.

Self-forgiveness is strength not weakness. Gaining the strength is simple. I need only remind myself that “God has forgiven me. Why not forgive myself?”

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

[bluidkiti]

November 24

God does not comfort us to make us comfortable but to make us comforters.

~J. H. Jowett

We weren’t in any kind of condition to comfort others when we were in the grips of our addictions. It’s only now, when we have been blessed with comfort for ourselves, that we can turn our attention to others. Now that we can, we discover another spiritual paradox: We find comfort in giving comfort. It is part of the “to-give-is-to-receive” principle.

Perhaps we didn’t come by our addictions accidentally. There’s a purpose for each of us, and comforting others is part of our purpose. God relies on us to carry the message, as those who went before us brought it to us. That’s why we can never be complacent about our progress. The minute we isolate ourselves from others, discomfort sets in—for us and for those who need the comfort of our presence.

My comfort depends on being a comforter.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

[bluidkiti]

November 25

Our own rough edges become smooth as we help a friend smooth her edges.

~Sue Atchley Ebaugh

Focusing on a good point in every person we encounter today will benefit us in untold ways. It will smooth our relations with that person, inviting her to respond kindly also. It will increase our awareness of the goodness all around us. It will help us realize that if everyone around us has positive traits, then we must also have them. But perhaps the greatest benefit of focusing on good points is that it enhances us as women; a healthy, positive attitude must be cultivated. Many of us had little experience with feeling positive before the turning point, recovery.

Recovery is offering us a new lease on life every moment. We are learning new behaviors, and we are learning that with the help of a higher power and one another, all things that are right for us are possible. It is energizing to focus on the good points of others, to know that their good points don't detract from our own.

In the past, we may have secretly hated other women's strengths because we felt inferior. We are free from that hate now, if we choose to be. A strength we can each nurture is gratitude for being helped by, and privy to, the strengths of our friends and acquaintances.

Bad points get worse with attention. My good points will gain strength.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

[bluidkiti]

November 26

Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.

~Maurice Setter

Silver shines just as bright as gold does. So often we forget this. So often we push, push, push. We forget to live for the moment. Trying too hard can be a defect of character. It can be a way we avoid life.

Gratitude, being thankful, is a key part of recovery. Not just gratitude for getting our self-respect back. Not just gratitude for having a Higher Power. But gratitude for the moment. We’re alive again. Let’s see each moment as a time to explore life.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thanks for helping me to enjoy each moment. I have gratitude for being alive.
Action for the Day

I’ll list ten gifts of recovery for which I have gratitude.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

[bluidkiti]

November 27

AA Thought for the Day

The Twelfth Step of AA, working with others, can be subdivided into five parts, five words beginning with the letter C—confidence, confession, conviction, conversion, and continuance. The first thing in trying to help other alcoholics is to get their confidence. We do this by telling them our own experiences with drinking, so that they see that we know what we’re talking about. If we share our experiences frankly, they will know that we are sincerely trying to help them. They will realize that they’re not alone and that others have had experiences as bad or worse than theirs. This gives them confidence that they can be helped. Do I care enough about other alcoholics to get their confidence?
Meditation for the Day

I fail not so much when tragedy happens as I did before the happening, by all the little things I might have done but did not do. I must prepare for the future by doing the right thing at the right time now. If a thing should be done, I should deal with that thing today and get it right with God before I allow myself to undertake any new duty. I should look upon myself as performing God’s errands and then coming back to Him to tell Him in quiet communion that the message has been delivered or the task done.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may seek no credit for the results of what I do. I pray that I may leave the outcome of my actions to God.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

[bluidkiti]

November 28

Unused capacities atrophy, cease to be.

~Tillie Olsen

Those of us who have suffered a broken bone and had to put up with a cast for several weeks know how hard it is to use muscles that have been inactive for so long. They have gotten weak from lack of use, and we have to begin to develop our strength all over again.

The same thing happens if we don't use our other capacities. If we don't constantly use our minds to think and learn, we become dull people, almost incapable of new thoughts and insights. If we don't use our hearts to love, we become uncaring and insensitive—much like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. If we don't use our creative talents—to draw or write or sew, or whatever it is we're into—we lose the ability to do those things.

On the other hand, like our muscles, our other capacities can be strengthened and developed by daily use. We exercise our hearts by being kind and loving, our minds by thinking, our imaginations by being creative. ln this way, we become spiritually powerful, a force for good in the world.

How can l exercise my assets today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

[bluidkiti]

November 29

Human beings love to be right. When a person is willing to give up being right, a whole world of possibilities opens up.

~Pete Salmansohn

We naturally want others to respect us. Our urge to be right, even when we are wrong, gets us into many jams. We have seen others laughed at for their mistakes, and we ourselves have done some of the laughing. Maybe we have been the target of ridicule for not knowing the right answer or the right way to do something.

A grown-up man has lived enough and seen enough to know that honest mistakes are inevitable; indeed, they are lessons. In fact, the only way we learn is by trying out an idea, testing a new method. When we are open to seeing reality as it is, rather than blindly defending our rightness, we get wiser.

As grown men, we voice our ideas honestly, and we listen to others. We don’t have to push our ideas as right. We can take on the attitude of dignity and open-mindedness, seeking the best answer and always learning.

Today, I will consciously set aside my drive to always be right so that I can continue to learn.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

[bluidkiti]

November 30

The world is full of magic. Serendipity, synchronicity, and random revelations appear on a regular basis. Some might call these wondrous moments of connection fate or karma, coincidence, or messages from our Higher Power. Whatever we call them, altered states of awareness and energy fields beyond our ordinary perceptions do exist, and they manifest each day to those who are willing to look.

During our perilous times with substances, many of us were somehow rescued from horrific situations by benign forces of unknown origin. One way we tap into the Great Mystery that surrounds us is by paying attention to the subtle signs that are offered: the chance remark of a passerby that delivers an insight we need, a book screaming out at us from a bookstore shelf, finding a lost object whose return leads to unexpected adventures. The magician reminds us of the Third Step, when we make “a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God”—or to whatever we understand the Higher Power beyond self that influences the course and patterns of our lives to be.

Magic and mystery are everywhere, calling me to experience wonders in ordinary moments.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery