Today's Thought - November

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November 1

We can know the difference between God’s will and our will.

The Third Step suggests that we turn our will over to God. That’s a stumbling block for many of us. We don’t know how to do it, and it’s not easy for our friends in the program to explain the process. With patience, though, we come to realize it’s more a feeling than anything else. Pushing our will on someone else results in conflict and tension. We can learn to recognize negative feelings as signs that we’re not doing God’s will. Becoming willing to pause long enough to ask ourselves what God would want us to do in a specific situation, and then doing it, assures us that God’s will, not our will, is in charge. We’ll then feel peace.

Recovery is showing us the difference between peace and tension, God’s will and our will. Willingness to try a better way to live with others guarantees that we’ll recognize God’s will every moment, if that’s our desire.

I want to feel peaceful today. Asking for knowledge of God’s will and then following it will make me peaceful.

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November 2

At times almost all of us envy the animals. They suffer and die, but do not seem to make a “problem” of it.

~Alan Watts

When we sit quietly and open ourselves to contact with our Higher Power, problems may come to mind. We seek some wisdom beyond ourselves to help us meet the challenges of this day. For many of us men, the greatest problem is our thinking rather than the situations we have to deal with.

Unlike animals, we complicate what is very simple. The pain we face is never fair, so we need not waste time trying to understand the justice or injustice of it. Our problems may seem large or overwhelming from today’s perspective. By tomorrow or next month most of them will be resolved in some way, and we may not even remember them. Our spiritual path teaches us to do first things first each day and not fret about the outcome. We turn outcomes over to the will of God.

Today, I will use the simplicity of the animals as my guide.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

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November 3

Solving Problems

“Shame is the first feeling that strikes me whenever I, or someone I love, has a problem,” said one recovering woman. Many of us were raised with the belief that having a problem is something to be ashamed of.

This belief can do many damaging things to us. It can stop us from identifying our problems; it can make us feel alienated and inferior when we have, or someone we love has, a problem. Shame can block us from solving a problem and finding the gift from the problem.

Problems are a part of life. So are solutions. People have problems, but we, and our self-esteem, are separate from our problems. I’ve yet to meet a person who didn’t have problems to solve, but I’ve met many who felt ashamed to talk about the problems they actually had solved!

We are more than our problems. Even if our problem is our own behavior, the problem is not who we are—it’s what we did. It’s okay to have problems. It’s okay to talk about problems—at appropriate times, and with safe people. It’s okay to solve problems.

And we’re okay, even when we have, or someone we love, has a problem. We don’t have to forfeit our personal power or our self-esteem. We have solved exactly the problems we’ve needed to solve to become who we are.

Today, I will let go of my shame about problems.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

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November 4

The only God there is, is the God above God.

~Sister Perpetua

At times in our quest for spiritual growth and a closer relationship with God as we understand Him, we forget that any concept, image, or belief we have of God is incomplete. No matter how great the mind that contemplates God, the image is dim indeed. A candle, to the moth that is drawn to it, may be the brightest light in the universe, but it is a dim imitation of the sun.

Our quest for God always needs to be restless. Not in the sense of frustration and a denial of serenity, but in the sense of understanding that our God is so great that the security and joy we can find in seeking God has no end. Not because we are so small, but because God is so great. A man at a meeting said he’d read that the light of stars we see in the night sky is light that started in our direction from 400,000 light years away. “All that distance,” he said, “is like a marble in the hand of God. So who am I to think I can understand a Being so great as He?”

Through consistent conscious contact, the God of my understanding is more clearly revealed every day of my life.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

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November 5

There is nothing permanent except change.

~Heraclitus

Most of us don’t like change very much. Getting sober is like stepping into a rushing river of change that will take us to new places in our lives. We sense that. We are learning to trust it more each day. But even though life keeps getting better for us, we still keep some of that fear inside us about what will happen if we keep working our recovery program and life keeps changing for us.

Maybe we get a good job, and we are afraid we will louse it up. Maybe we make new friends, and we are afraid they will find out what a jerk we really are. Maybe our kids are speaking to us again and want to have a better relationship, and we are afraid of the responsibility.

You know what? It’ll be okay. It’s okay to have good things happen. It’s okay to trust ourselves to handle responsibility. Nobody knows how to do life perfectly—that’s why we need our Higher Power to guide us.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me listen for your directions today as I walk through a new day in sobriety. Together we can handle any surprises and changes the day may bring.
Today's Action

Today I will write down three ways fear of change is holding me back, and I will talk with my sponsor about these things. What do I need to do to be ready for these changes?

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

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November 6

There are no precedents. You are the first You that ever was.

~Christopher Morley

We often compare ourselves to other people, and we usually come out poorly. We may not realize that what we’re doing is harmful; we may think comparisons help us know ourselves better. “Her relationship is so good compared to mine. He works the Steps better than I do. She looks great; I look terrible.” The comparisons go on and on.

Comparisons are an intellectual exercise, and as recovering men and women, we can put our intellects to better use. Security comes from an inner sense of self-acceptance, which grows every day we are in recovery. We will never discover who we are by comparing ourselves to anyone else. When we compare ourselves to others, we usually feel worse about ourselves. Comparing ourselves strips away our uniqueness and sets up a false standard we think we should meet. We are who we are. There is only one of each of us. We don’t need to compare ourselves to anyone.

If I am comparing myself to others, I will remind myself that I am unique.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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November 7

Healthy Thinking

Knowledge of “the answers” never made anyone relapse. It was failing to practice “the answers” known.

~Anonymous

The quality of our lives will always depend on the way we think. When anxiety, stress, and tension begin to threaten our hard-won peace of mind, we must not blame our retreat from serenity on outside forces. We can get back in line with comfortable living when we remind ourselves that we have been thinking wrong about something.

It may be complacency: “I’ve got all the right answers.” Perhaps we’ve been thinking selfishly or suffering twinges of jealousy and envy. Are we viewing others with anger or resentment, being fearful of falling short of goals? We learn in recovery to examine our thinking.

Positive thinking is my guarantee that serenity will continue to make me willing to accept myself as the author of my own attitudes, not a victim of outside forces.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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November 8

We are all special cases.

~Albert Camus

We spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others and far too frequently end up feeling inferior. Perhaps someone at work is more articulate than we are, or an acquaintance always seems more striking and self-assured. And most of us know couples who seem to have the perfect relationship while we continue to struggle in ours or have no significant other.

On occasion we might even feel superior to some people—like the gruff man in line ahead of us at the bank or the rude cashier at the grocery store. But in all cases, the moment we compare and thus create a separation between ourselves and others, we deny the blessing of God’s all-encompassing plan for each of us.

We are all one in God. When we realize our connection to one another, we learn our task is to care for each other rather than artificially set ourselves apart.

I will look around me carefully today and notice how I’m connected to others rather than how I’m separate.

I will help myself grow today.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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November 9

I can stand what I know. It's what I don't know that frightens me.

~Frances Newton

Fear of the unknown, often referred to as free-floating anxiety, catches up to us on occasion. But it needn't. The program offers us strength whenever we need it, and faith diminishes all fear. It is said that fear cannot exist where there is faith.

We have many days when we feel strong, in touch with our higher power, able to meet all situations. On those days, we are seldom conscious of how our faith is guiding us. But the hours of fear that we experience on other days make us aware of faith's absence. There is a simple solution: We can reach out to a friend. We can be attentive to her needs, and the connection to God will be made.

Shifting our focus from self-centered fears to another person's needs offers us a perspective on our own life. It also offers us a chance to let God work through us. Our own faith is strengthened each time we offer our services to God and to a friend in need. What may frighten us seems less important the closer we are to the people in our lives.

When l touch someone else, God touches me in return.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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November 10

The true name of eternity is today.

~Philo

Today is the only focus for our recovery. When we look into the future, we worry. What if I slip when temptations mount at some future time? What if I get lost and confused and fall back into my codependency?

The only real truth is how we live today. The sun will come up tomorrow, and we will live the new day as we do this day, in the present moment, staying true to ourselves. Tomorrow’s problems are only in our imagination. What are we doing today? Eternity is beyond time. It is at hand.

Today, I am mindful of my immediate moment.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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November 11

AA Thought for the Day

In Twelfth-Step work, the fifth part is continuance. Continuance means staying with prospects after they have started on the new way of living. We must stick with them and not let them down. We must encourage them to go to meetings regularly for fellowship and help. They will learn that keeping sober is a lot easier in the fellowship of others who are trying to do the same thing. We must continue to help prospects by going to see them regularly or telephoning them or writing them so that they don’t get out of touch with AA. Continuance means good sponsorship. Do I care enough about other alcoholics to continue with them as long as necessary?
Meditation for the Day

Every strong and beautiful flower must have a strong root in the ground. It must send a root down so that it may be rooted and grounded while at the same time it sends a shoot up to be the flower that shall gladden the world. Both growths are necessary. Without a strong root, it would soon wither. The higher the growth upward, the deeper must be the rooting. My life cannot flower into success and helpfulness unless it is rooted in a strong faith, or unless it feels deeply secure in the goodness and purpose of the universe.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that my life may be deeply rooted in faith. I pray that I may feel deeply secure.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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November 15

Do we really know anybody? Who does not wear one face to hide another?

~Francis Marion

A woman in her fifties watched her mother in her eighties struggle against the wrinkles in her face and neck, trying to hide them, pretending they weren't there. She wanted her mother to accept that she was getting older but found her unwilling to listen.

Haven't we all run into this situation? We can learn so much just by remembering that what is right for one person may not be right for another, and others are entitled to decide how they want to behave. Often, we are just worried about ourselves, concerned, for instance, with our own ability to age gracefully. We don't need someone else to do it for us. We can take care of ourselves.

What do I worry about in another that I can take care of in myself.

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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November 13

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

~Mahatma Gandhi

There’s a lot wrong in the world—just check the headlines. Our old way of dealing with these troubles was to rant about them, or ignore them, or numb our minds with substances.

Now we have a new way to change the world. We’re changing ourselves. One day at a time, we’re acting like the caring, responsible people we want to be. We use the ideas of the program in our lives.

We’re kinder. We’re more honest. We stand up for ourselves and for others who need our help. What if the whole world started working the Steps? What a wonderful world this would be!
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please work through me today. Help me make the world a little better place.
Action for the Day

I’ll list one thing that bothers me about the world today. How can using the ideas of the program help solve that problem? Remember, the program tells us to look at our own behavior.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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November 14

Stillness is not so much the absence of noise and activity, but rather the presence of transparency, an invisible openness to the immediate world about us. Heaviness falls away from us, and a richer, deeper life appears. Time alone, in which we can be curious and question everything, is the only true way to get to know oneself.

When we take a spell away from the daily race, quiet the turbulence of our normal pace, and slow down to the speed of life, we stimulate a different part of us, which opens us to new ideas and puts us more in touch with what we really love. The sense of spaciousness to just be, in a world so consumed by doing, is good for us on every level and reinforces our commitment to remain clean and sober.

We may have to actually schedule such time for ourselves—make an appointment with solitude—to create the space and place to go deeper within. At first, we will encounter both battles and peace there, just as in the outer plane of existence. Through awareness, we eventually will surrender struggle, creating greater harmony between our inner and outer worlds.

I welcome stillness and the peace it can bring. Today, I will do less and be more.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

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November 15

Accepting our condition

It is important to realize that we are alcoholics and drug addicts, not ex-alcoholics or ex-addicts. We accept the fact that we have a chronic illness and that no amount of “discipline” and no magic cure will change that.

We are deluding ourselves if we think we can handle “just a little.” If we say, “I used to be an alcoholic” or “I used to be a drug addict,” then we may conclude that we can drink or take drugs and still stay in control. But for us, that’s the route to despair and, perhaps, death.

Do I accept my incurable illness?

Higher Power, help me never to forget who I am, what I am, and where my salvation lies.

I will practice acceptance today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts