Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - September

[bluidkiti]

September 16

Step by Step

"In two ways I may be a little different from other alcoholics. First, we all hear at AA meetings about those who have lost everything, those who have been in jail, those who have been in prison, those who have lost their families, those who have lost their income. I never lost any of it. I never was on skid row. I made more money the last year of my drinking than I ever made before in my whole life. My wife never hinted that she would leave me. Everything that I touched from grammar school on was successful. I was president of my grammar school student body. I was president of all of my classes in high school and in my last year I was president of that student body. I was president of each class in the University, and president of that student body. I was voted the man most likely to succeed. The same thing occurred in medical school. I belong to more medical societies and honor societies than men 10 to 20 years my senior.
'Mine was the skid row of success. The physical skid row in any city is miserable. The skid row of success is just as miserable.'" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Stopped in Time," Ch 6 ("Physician, Heal Thyself!"), p 345.

Today, no pride in successes or acquisitions of things in my life - for they are no refuge from alcoholism. Skid row is just as miserable in my own home as it is under a bridge or in a homeless shelter. Responsibility comes with success and material gain as it does with irresponsible choices, and alcoholic drinking is not the responsible response to life when it is good any more than when it is bad. If I choose to "reward" my successes and material gains with irresponsible drinking, I risk turning my living room into skid row. Today, I accept responsibility to my sober life just as I am responsible for the consequences of my drinking. What I have today is not promised me tomorrow. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SOLUTION

Be part of the solution, not the problem.

~ Anonymous ~

When we were practicing our addiction, we traveled alone. We created short-term friendships with fellow users. These dissolved when the "party was over." Our addiction demanded from us absolute obedience. There could be no intimate friendships. No relationship was more important than the addiction. Any that moved in too close was beaten away by the disease. We were solitary, held hostage in our own prison.

The Fellowship has broken the grip of this isolation. The miracle of recovery is that of men and women sharing their experience, strength, and hope with each other. We are together; we share with each other what we know, what we experience; we rely on each other. The Fellowship is a circle of spiritual vitality that energizes anyone who decides to join hands.

Alone I am the problem. Together with others, I am part of the solution.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

~ Will Rogers ~

When we are in the midst of our worst problems, we often behave stubbornly, trying harder to gain control of what is out of control. Because we feel alone, or be-cause we insist on doing things our own way, we repeatedly apply the same solutions that repeatedly produce the same problems. We forget that as human beings we require the help of others to live happy and healthy lives. We need all the help we can get. Without the input and wisdom of others, we are stuck with our limited or mistaken ideas.

Perhaps today we are faced with problems that have no clear solutions. We can’t see an obvious way around them, and we can’t see a new answer. The sooner we accept our true nature and bring others into our questions, the sooner we will be able to consider new ideas and take in the wisdom of our friends.

Today I resolve to talk to my friends about the matters that weigh on my mind.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When I feed on resentments and anger, I am giving someone else rent-free space in my head.

~ Kathy Kendall ~

Becoming consumed by our emotions is all too familiar. It was a favorite pastime before we got clean and sober, and it still may “own” us. Much to our dismay, sponsors remind us that we’re getting a payoff or we wouldn’t continue the practice. They also tell us it’s never too late to give it up.

We can begin immediately. Let’s breathe in the positive. It takes the same effort as dwelling on resentments, and the outcome is so much healthier. Let’s bring our blessings to mind first. Breathe in the images of friends and the smiles we share. Breathe in the image of our Higher Power and those comforting arms. Breathe in the bright light of healing that is the program’s gift. Breathe in the peace that comes with knowing all is finally well.

Giving our minds over to loving images heals us. The hurts of the past can reach us no more if we breathe in the good.

I will breathe in my Higher Power today. I will dwell on the safety and serenity of my journey.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am developing faith in my own experience

When I first started having emotional problems, I did not know what was happening. I didn’t have a clue about handling the problem or its source. It didn't help that family and friends understood even less.

When I realized that my moods were out of control, I got professional help. By and by, I got stable and began to accept my emotional life (although others still did not). I began to trust myself more and take greater responsibility for managing my illnesses. I learned that I need not believe what others might say about my illnesses and about what I feel or experience. With my time in recovery, I can simply believe in myself.

I will write about, or draw a picture of, the most recent time I trusted my intuition.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Blessed are they which do hunger
and thirst after righteousness:
for they shall be filled.

~ Matthew 5:6 ~

A common characteristic of early recovery is impatience. We’ve lived in misery and chaos for so long that it’s hard to wait for our lives to change. And we are spiritually and morally bankrupt — we have no reserves of patience to draw on. That is why a solid recovery program can be very helpful. We can see the immediate results of our efforts — from illness to wellness in Twelve simple Steps. God, in His wisdom, does not withhold the rewards until the end.

Every step of the way, He is with us, encouraging our efforts and lifting our spirits. He celebrates our joy and comforts us in sadness. We find we can turn our will and lives over to Him with trust. And with this first act of surrender, we find a new life filled with tolerance, kindness, and love.

Today I pray that You will always allow me to see the amazing greatness of Your Power in my life. Thank You for Your many blessings.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Today is life—the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today.... Live today with gusto.

~ Dale Carnegie ~

Your tomorrows can be quite different from your yester-days when you strive to be the best you can be today. What you choose to do right now can set the tone not just for the hours that lie ahead, but also the days, months, and years in your future.

In his poem “Just for Today,” Kenneth L. Holmes details actions that can be taken by those in recovery to make the most of each day. These include: tackling the problems of today, not all of your problems; being happy; strengthening your mind; adjusting to what is and not what you would like; treating others well; focusing on yourself and not on others; following the program; meditating; and being unafraid. He writes at the beginning of his poem: “I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.” What can you do today that will help you become a better person now, and in the future?

Just for today, I will do something outside of my comfort zone.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

~ James Thurber ~

What is it we fear the most? Going into a grocery store or going to a gathering of strangers? If we teach ourselves to look not in fear but in awareness, we might see the grocery store's well-stocked delicatessen or the lovely outfit worn by someone at a social gathering.

Who makes us angry? Perhaps the boss does, or maybe a loved one. If we look at him or her not in anger but in awareness, we might see the boss has many tensions and pressures, or a loved one is tired and can't be supportive.

If we look only at our feelings of anger or fear, then those are all we'll see. But if we look around and become aware of the issues of anger or fear, suddenly the anger and fear won't be the focus anymore. Through awareness, we'll learn more about people and we'll gain a greater understanding of their behaviors. Through this awareness, we'll change our reactions of fear and anger to understanding and acceptance.

I can become aware of my feelings and understand them. Then I can work on changing these feelings for the better.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Letting go of guilt

Once in the grips of addiction, we used mood-altering chemicals less because we wanted to than because we were hooked. We hurt ourselves and others less because we wanted to than because we were hooked. We felt guilty, and as our disease progressed, guilt overwhelmed us.

Being clean and sober, we need to let go of this crippling guilt along with our insane past. To do this, we use Steps Four and Five. As we work these soul-cleansing Steps, we forgive ourselves. By forgiving ourselves, we come to love ourselves and so become able to love others.

Am I letting go of guilt?

Higher Power, help me to work the Steps and forgive myself.

If I feel guilty about something today,
I will practice forgiving myself by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

~ MARK TWAIN ~

Newcomer

There's something about myself that I still haven't told you. It's an old secret, and I still don't feel able to talk about it, even though I know you're open-minded.

Sponsor

I'm glad that you feel trusting enough to reveal that there's still more to know about you. Many of us feel shame about an event from the past, many of us live with a habit, a feeling, or an inadequacy that doesn't fit our image of who we think we should be. We've done a lot of work to deny or disown our pasts, presenting a "cleaned-up" self to the outside world that we think will keep us safe from rejection.

But we don't entirely succeed in erasing the part of ourselves that threatens our self-image. Shame and denial remain with us, no matter how much energy we're using to sustain the illusion of a self we believe is more acceptable than our real self. When we begin to test this belief by sharing something we've been holding inside, we become more real to ourselves and others. We experience relief and increased energy.

You may not feel entirely safe in discussing this matter with me at this time; you may prefer to talk with a spiritual adviser, therapist, or program friend whose experience is closer to your own. I respect your need to begin to take this courageous step in a way that feels as safe as possible to you.

Today, I'm willing to bring into the light a part of myself that I've disowned.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The main objective in talking is to say something, not just anything. Words give a truer picture of a man than does a photograph, for words are reflections of the inner man, beyond the range of the finest camera.

Most of us alcoholics have been hurt more by our own words than we have by the words of others. Let us screen our words through our minds and give expression only to those words that are products of a sober and thinking intellect.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

If I'm Discouraged Today

If I'm discouraged today, God of my understanding, let me be able to give thanks for my recovery, my health, my family, and my friends. If I’m discouraged today, let me remember the sadness and problems before recovery. Let me appreciate today and how much better it is than the life I left behind. If I'm discouraged today, may I remember my spiritual journey is the sometimes painful process of learning to let go of things that are not important.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

BUILT-IN HEALING

The body cannot resist healing. It cannot even try to resist it. It cannot, so to speak, even want to resist it, because it is not intelligent. It is important to understand this fact when praying for your own healing or that of another because otherwise, without realizing it, you are likely to enter on a mental struggle with the body to compel it to change; and, of course, such a proceeding is quite useless and also fatiguing. It is your sincere belief about your body that has to be changed—changed from false belief to the Truth.

Then . . . thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee . . . (Isaiah 58:8).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Whole Truth

The truth shall set you free.

~ Jesus Christ ~

A married man is interested in me," Marilyn told me. "But I don't feel attracted to him."

"What did you tell him?" I asked.

"l told him that I do not date married men."

"When I heard Marilyn's response, something did not sit well with me. "You did not tell him the whole truth," I ventured.

"What do you mean?"

"The bottom line is that you are not interested in a relationship with this man. The fact that he is married is secondary. What would you do if he got divorced, showed up at your door with flowers, and announced, 'Here I am—not married any more'?"

"I guess I would tell him I was not interested in creating a relationship with him."

"That's the other half of the truth you need to tell now."

Life is a series of lessons in discovering the truth and living it. Whenever we hedge, compromise, withhold, deny, or camouflage what is really happening, sooner or later we will have to retrace our steps to the point where we diverted from the whole truth, and tell it. Speak up now, and avoid the rush later.

Take a moment to consider any areas in your life in which you have not told the whole truth. This is not to make you guilty, but to liberate you. Whenever we set aside what is happening and pretend, our "stash" robs our energy from being fully present. Consider what you would say if you had the courage to put your cards on the table. Although the prospect may be challenging, it is a lot less work than carrying a lie and then having to come back and say what you wanted to say in the first place.

Help me be aware of the truth and have the courage to live it.

The truth is my strength and my friend.

[bluidkiti]

September 17

Step by Step

Today, first things first, one thing at a time, one step at a time, one feeling at a time if one day at a time is too daunting a challenge. Today, I will quiet the noise in my mind for the program's wisdom to take me from the character defects that degrade sobriety into dry drunkenness - if not a wet one. If and when the responsibilities to sobriety seem too heavy, I will look to the steps and live in the answer of sobriety instead of the problem of trying not to drink. And, in the end, the problem is not living with the struggle not to relapse: the answer is living in the program. Today, I have the choice to live in sobriety instead of struggling to fight off what threatens it. Today, I can live in the answer, not the problem. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SICK AND TIRED

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

~ Anonymous ~

What a joy for us in recovery to discover mornings without a bleary-eyed hangover, a drugged-out case of nerves, or a bloated stomach. What a joy to taste food, smell flowers, sit without sweating, or go to sleep without passing out. What a joy to get into a car without fear of a DWI, without having to lie about where we were the night before. What a joy to stop swinging from pillar to post with every would-be lover, or finding ourselves a doormat for every Tom, Dick or Mary.

We can wake up in the middle of the night without shaking with fear. We find that our Higher Power is doing for us what we can't do for ourselves. We have given up being "manipulators and operators" to become "true co-operators." We have hope for a better tomorrow.

The sick and tired existence of being sick and tired has finally come to an end.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

If a man does his best, what else is there?

~ General George S. Patton ~

For many of us, competition is so ingrained that we have a knee-jerk competitive reaction to almost every encounter with another man. Competition is great fun among friends. Testing our skill, our power, and our wits against others helps us know ourselves better and shows us what we are capable of. It is a kind of closeness among friends to playfully compete. But when competition becomes our only way to relate to others, it keeps people away. When we can only respond with a wisecrack or a one-up comment, we are just a one-trick pony, reacting out of weakness and fear of getting close.

Among true and trusted friends, a man is entitled to show more than his strength and his guarded side. A true friend doesn’t use our vulnerability or our mistakes to take advantage of us. When he holds them as a trust that he guards and protects, he shows the mark of true friendship.

Today I will be the best person that I can be, and that includes honesty about my weaknesses and vulnerability.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When we really understand the fact of separate realities, we will stop spending so much time and energy trying to change the reality of others.

~ Jane Nelsen ~

What makes us want to control others, not just their actions but their opinions too? Do our personal views need the validation of everyone for us to feel adequate?

Coming to believe that we all have valid perspectives on every experience is akin to coming to believe that there is a Higher Power in charge of our lives. It takes willingness to suspend our assumptions and adopt the principles of this program.

It’s liberating, even exhilarating, to realize that we all see situations a bit differently. It’s like going from a black-and-white picture to Technicolor. Our experiences are enriched as we view them with new attitudes.

How I see my experiences today is up to me; how my friends see theirs is up to them. My view may complement theirs, but it’s mine, solely.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am coming to trust my feelings

People tell me that I am different these days—lighter, more relaxed. I can hardly believe that I'm feeling pretty good again. A subtle change has taken place in me. And yet, sometimes I can’t trust it. I'm afraid that it will go away.

When I spoke about my confusion in group, I got some support. I learned that my fear of a sudden reversal will weaken in time as I get used to being successful. I learned that pride is not necessarily a bad thing and that it's OK to take note of my own healthy growth. I pray that my higher power will keep me humble and strong.

I will write out an affirmation that reads, "It’s OK to be strong and successful."

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Appreciate the moment.

~ Isamu Noguchi ~

Imagine living in a time warp where everything is slowed down. An hour would take a year to unfold. The events of five minutes would last a month. With so much time, we could look at everything in greater detail. We could see, and think about, every detail of everything that surrounds us.

Now, try letting time speed up to normal, but retain the awareness and curiosity for detail we found in the time warp. How much richer our lives are when we take the time to look around us. Our Higher Power has stocked each moment with a treasure for us. Living for the moment in sobriety helps us become aware of the little joys that previously passed us by. And in these little moments we find life itself, and in each found treasure we see the footprints of our Higher Power, always walking beside us.

Today help me to see the beauty of a flower, a smile, a sober lifestyle, one moment at a time.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We are most deeply asleep at the switch when we fancy we control any switches at all.

~ Annie Dillard ~

Imagine that the front door to your home is blocked by a massive rock. Because of this rock, you cannot get out I he door and no one can enter. All you need to do is move the rock, but it is much too large for you to handle on your own.

Now imagine that a dozen people arrive to help move the rock. If you are stubbornly independent, you will tell them, “I have it under control.” They will leave, and you will still be held captive by the rock. But if you are self- reliant, then you know that even though you can manage many things in your life, the rock is too big for you to handle on your own. You welcome the assistance.

Over time, the burdens of being stubbornly independent can prove to be overwhelming. You may try to overcome your addiction alone, face your fears and sadness alone, and strive to be strong alone. Asking for help does not mean you are no longer self-sufficient. It means you are smart. When you are able to identify the rocks in your life that you cannot move without assistance and ask for help, you are letting go in a positive way.

Are there rocks in my life that others can help me move?

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

If you make an error, use it as a stepping stone to a new idea you might not otherwise have discovered.

~ Anonymous ~

Sometimes we struggle so hard to become perfect human beings that we may view any minor errors of the day as earth-shattering mistakes from which we might never recover. Instead of seeing our errors as entirely human and forgivable, we may sink into feelings of hopelessness and despair.

We can choose to berate ourselves for our errors, or we can see such errors as lessons to learn from. When we were in school, our teachers used tests to measure our capacity for learning. Today, life is our test, and our grades depend upon how well we learn from our errors.

Some of our greatest thinkers used their errors to discover medical cures, time-saving inventions, or scientific theories. The errors of today can become just the stepping stones we need to cross the river of recovery tonight.

Did I make any errors today? How can I learn from them tonight?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Letting go

Some of us who abused mood-altering chemicals have been urged to change our behavior by using “willpower” or by “resisting temptation.” It’s a common misconception that we should be masters of our souls.

But if addiction is a disease of control, recovery is about letting go. Ironically, only when we realize that we don’t know how to be masters—how did we end up here in the first place?—can we progress. We may not know exactly what to do to recover or how to do it, but we know we have help in the program.

Am I trusting my life and will over to my Higher Power?

Higher Power, help me to believe that letting go is more freeing than frightening.

To practice letting go today, I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Drugs were always around.

~ JAMES TAYLOR ~

Newcomer

I spent a weekend as the guest of a friend who doesn't have my particular addictive problem. I welcomed the opportunity for a change of scene. My friend was respectful of my commitment to recovery and didn't try to get me to compromise my recovery in any way. Still, I kept imagining that she thought less of me for my sobriety. I wonder if I'll ever be totally comfortable around nonaddicted people.

Sponsor

It's not always easy for me to spend time with people who can safely do something that, for me, is life-threatening—even when they're courteous enough not to do it directly in front of me. If I'm dependent on another person for companionship and a sense of security, even for a short visit, my old coping mechanisms may come into play. I may attribute my own conflicting or uncomfortable feelings to the other person, or apologize when I'm actually feeling angry.

I don't think that it's time to assume that relating to other people is not for you. This was just a beginning. I'm glad that you trusted yourself to explore a new environment and to spend time with another person. Getting to know ourselves better often goes hand in hand with getting to know others better, too. Life-enriching experiences abound for those who are open to trying new things.

Today, I reach out to other people with a sense of ease. I don't judge my reactions or experience; I accept them simply as what is happening today.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many people in AA take too literally the statement they hear to the effect “we have no initiation fee or dues.”

Alcoholics Anonymous is not free—it costs a whale of a lot. It takes your time, your money, your thoughts, your prayers. It will give you a lot every day of your life, but it also requires a lot of your everyday living.

If you are stingy with AA, You are cheating yourself.

If you want a horse to work for you, you must feed him.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

When Agitated or Doubtful

Dear God, as I go through my day I pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask You for the right thought or action. I need to constantly remind myself that I am no longer running the show and humbly say to myself many times each day, "Thy will be done."

~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, pages 87-88 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TESTIMONY

I know when people pass by me in a line who it is that wants advice. They have to tell me their story in a minute; I have to get their story straight and they have to come to the point. As a rule they don’t. They usually say instead, “I am not going to take up your time. I know a public man doesn't have much time. I thought if I could just talk to you and tell you what is in my mind . . ." But why don't they do it? Because they are worried so that they cannot say what is on their mind. If I may seem impatient, do forgive me. I know if you have a problem it will be difficult for you to come to a point. If you could, it would not be much of a problem. But this I can say to you: In my work I have every sort of person coming to me for advice and help. I have been doing this work now for many years, and there is not any kind of person who has not told me everything about himself. I have never found a case that couldn't be changed and put right if the patient would cooperate.

One generation shall praise thy works to another, and shall declare thy mighty acts (Psalm 145:4).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Holy Loafing

To do great work a man must be very idle as well as very industrious.

~ Samuel Butler ~

Jerry Gillies, award-winning NBC broadcaster and author of the million-selling book, Money Love, underscores the importance of creative loafing. Jerry affirms:

Self-reflection is one of the most productive things you can do with your creative imagination... When I was the director of the Biofeedback Institute, I demonstrated to some of the top executives of major corporations that by slowing down they'd be able to tap into deeper levels of their subconscious and come up with more valuable ideas. One publishing executive started taking Wednesdays off to relax and meditate. He reported back to me that he had gotten much more work accomplished in the remaining four days than he had ever gotten done in five!

Rest, relaxation, play, imagination, and daydreaming are as vital to the creative process as hard work. A good graphic or interior designer will attest that the white space on a page or open areas of a room are as important as the words or objects that border the space. While doing is important, so is being; a balance of the two is the secret of success.

The next time you feel overwhelmed, tires, jammed, or uncreative, stop and refresh your spirit. Renew yourself by doing something entirely unrelated to your work. Go to a movie, dance, walk in nature, listen to music, or immerse yourself in your favorite hobby. During your recreation time, you may receive important insights, and when you return, you will be far ahead of where you would have been if you worked without ceasing.

Help me remember to take care of my heart. Teach me how to play, that I may serve You better.

I love myself enough to rest, play, and renew.

[bluidkiti]

September 18

Step by Step

"I've been benefited from a dictionary definition I found that reads: 'rationalization is giving a socially acceptable reason for socially unacceptable behavior, and socially unacceptable behavior is a form of insanity'." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Lost Nearly All," Ch 12 ("Freedom From Bondage"), p 551.

Today, getting drunk every night and waking every morning to shakes, dry heaves and a shot of whiskey instead a cup of coffee can't be rationalized with, "Everyone drinks." Not everyone gets drunk every day or has blackouts, and giving a "socially acceptable reason" for an unacceptable behavior is part of the insanity of alcoholism. And alcoholic drinking is not a socially accepted behavior. Today, in my recovery, the definition of insanity is expanded beyond continuing behavior that always leads to the same outcome to include rationalizing my unacceptable conduct with an acceptable reason. May it serve me well. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GUILT

Try to replace guilt with gratitude.

~ Anonymous ~

We could do very little in our lives while our disease ran unchecked. We hurt ourselves more than anyone. We did things we did not mean to do. We put off doing things we were going to do. We offended people we did not mean to offend. We were used to carrying such guilt and regret that it is a wonder more of us didn't take our own lives.

In recovery, we learn how to free ourselves from old guilt. We learn how to make apologies, repay debts, and clean up mistakes through our Steps. We receive an unconditional forgiveness for our past life. We are not unworthy. What we are left with when the guilt is removed is gratitude. We become grateful for a chance to live a good life. We learn we do not have to live with new guilt because we do not have to do things for which we will feel guilty.

In the past, I did the best I could. Now I can do better. I would rather be standing on a mountain top with my arms extended in gratitude than in a hole holding a bucket of guilt.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

There is no saint without a past—no sinner without a future.

~ Shri Haidakhan Babaji ~

How can we not believe in redemption when we see it demonstrated all around the room every time we attend a meeting? Our most respected members were once in crisis at the bottom of their lives. And when we contemplate our own feelings of guilt and shame, we need humility to accept the fact that we, too, can be restored. All saints and all sinners reflect the same truth: all human beings are imperfect. If we are truly humble, we can accept our humanity, stop expecting perfection, and forgive our mistakes.
We take our personal inventory and assume responsibility for our actions because that process starts to release us from guilt and shame. The most dignified man is not the guy who never made a mistake, but the one who faced his mistakes and went forward living a better life.

Today I am grateful for the redemption this pro-am leads me toward.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Almost everyone wants something for nothing.

~ Marsha Sinetar ~

Bargains attract. Finding a good value excites us, and we share the news quickly. Wanting anything for free is human nature perhaps. However, many of us have had to learn again and again that you get what you pay for. This is true of human interactions too.

Why do we think that others will be there for us if we aren’t available for them? Having friends means being a friend, even if it’s time-consuming. Although friendship’s rewards are indisputable, we still tend to wait, letting the other person make the first move. Getting the other person to commit first reduces our effort, perhaps, but we will still receive according to what we give.

Knowing and utilizing this principle simplifies our lives. Once we master it, we never forget it. And what we bring to our relationships will be given back to us.

I am willing to give to others what I want in return today. Their efforts will match my own.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I continue to learn

I know where I've been and I know where I'm going. I have had powerful emotions and powerful experiences. I have learned much and I am getting stronger all the time.

But I believe that there is more—more to feel, experience, and learn. Since there are always new experiences (and new interpretations of old experiences), I will strive to improve my understanding of myself. The point is not to be "recovered," but to embrace the process: the point is recovering. It is a transforming experience that teaches me to be open to whatever life brings.

I will welcome each day as a teacher.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A great flame follows a little spark.

~ Dante Alighieri ~

Most of us start our recovery with just a little spark of hope. We’re not sure what we’ll find, but pray it will be better than the misery of active addiction. At first, we’re afraid to trust ourselves or others, even those in our recovery program. We may feel like giving up. But somehow we keep that little spark alive.

In time, as we find a new way of life, the spark grows. Soon we’re more honest, more true to our own values. We become physically and emotionally healthy again, and make good choices about the people, places and things in our lives.

Most important, we regain our spiritual health. We choose a Higher Power, and with His help, we learn to forgive ourselves for yesterday, and move toward a healthier tomorrow. Then, as our spiritual growth and recovery become a way of life, we learn again about the healing power of love. We find healthy ways of loving others and feel worthy of accepting love ourselves. We learn to give again.

Now as we look to the future with confidence and serenity, we realize that our little spark has, indeed, become a mighty flame.

Today help me to keep the spark of recovery alive and growing.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I have a right to my anger, and I don’t want anybody telling me I shouldn’t be, that it’s not nice to be, and that something’s wrong with me because I feel angry.

~ Maxine Waters ~

For many people in recovery, anger has been and may still be a problem. If others have lashed out at you through verbal or physical abuse, or you have done the same to others, then you are well aware of how destructive anger can be. Anger can damage relationships, escalate emotions, cause unnecessary stress, and pose health risks.

Yet, anger can provide the spark and motivation for taking positive action; many beneficial outcomes have been born out of well-expressed anger. Anger also helps set personal boundaries. It can alert you to something that is not right, protect you, and energize you to take constructive action.

While anger may be an emotion that is uncomfortable for you to feel, you can practice becoming more comfortable with anger by releasing it in ways that are not hurtful to others. Express your anger first to your sponsor or a trusted friend. Write about your anger in a journal. Use exercise to decrease its intensity. When you treat anger as an ally, rather than an enemy, you can use it to effect positive change.

I will acknowledge my anger and release it in positive ways.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it gets there.

~ Josh Billings ~

We can go to one store and buy an appliance, a shirt, a fishing pole, perfume, shoes, a stereo, and a saber saw. One-stop shopping is convenient, but it has one major drawback. Because of the diversity of products sold, there's no specialization. The sales clerks knowledge about the saber saw and the shirt will probably be about the same—just enough to sell, but not enough to provide in-depth information.

If we work on several parts of our personalities at once, we'll be like that clerk. To do our best, we need to spend time, brainpower, and perhaps muscle power on just one task. We need to become a specialist in what we're working on for that moment.

If we’re hard at work on many changes in our lives, we'll only be setting ourselves up for defeat. The attention we devote to one change deprives another change of the time and effort it needs. To make a change, we need to become a specialist in that change. Then the change we make will be beneficial and lasting.

What is one change I can work on beginning tonight? I will stay focused on that change, giving it my concentrated effort.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Resolving to stay clean and sober

When we first dry out and get clean, it’s a good idea to make ninety meetings in ninety days: Our minds are still in a haze. We need extra meetings and extra support in the very beginning.

It took a lot of denial and time to hit bot-tom. To climb back up the hill we’ve just come down, it will take a lot of acceptance and time.

Have I made the commitment to staying clean and sober?

Higher Power, help me work as hard at staying clean and sober as I did at using chemicals.

I will commit myself to staying clean and sober today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Chop wood, carry water.

~ ZEN BUDDHIST SAYING ~

Newcomer

In some ways, my life has totally changed. The differences are dramatic. I have different habits, different friends, a different set of values. Still, a lot has stayed the same. I have financial problems, uncertainties about the work I'm doing, and significant relationship issues.

Sponsor

Your decision to live a sober life and practice a spiritual program has been the basis of a great deal of growth already. There's no reason to assume that you won't continue to make progress as you work on the areas in which your recovery is coming along more slowly.

There's probably no one alive who has solved every problem and integrated all the aspects of his or her psyche. Like the rest of humanity, those of us who are in recovery are "works in progress." We continue whether we've achieved enlightenment or not, to perform the same simple daily tasks. As we keep maintaining our spiritual selves, our conscious awareness of what needs changing in our lives becomes clearer. The path to more complete recovery continues to be revealed to us.

I do the work in front of me with care today, paying attention to the details.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

A deep stab wound must heal from within outward, or fresh tissue would grow over the lip of the wound and prevent the necessary drainage from beneath. Blood poisoning would set in and the poison would circulate through the entire body.

Human improvement works the same way. If it is only a surface cure, the poison remains in the heart and mind, affecting our entire life, and unless moral surgery is resorted to, our characters become infected.

The AA Program is moral surgery, wherein we remove sick and diseased thoughts and actions from deep within ourselves and thus become entirely healed.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Peace and Justice for All

Spirit of the Universe,
Lead us from death to life,
From falsehood to truth.
Lead us from despair to hope,
From fear to trust.
Let peace fill our hearts,
Our world, our universe.
Let us dream together,
Pray together,
Work together,
To build one world
Of peace and justice for all.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE ART OF CONCENTRATION

The only subject that matters is getting an understanding of Truth, developing our souls; but in order to develop our souls we must have some knowledge of the power of concentration. If you can learn and practice right concentration, there is no good thing in the universe that you cannot attain. Concentration means literally "bringing to a common center." Until you can put your attention where you want it you have not become master of yourself. You will never be happy until you can determine what you are going to think about for the next hour.

First, make your body comfortable, then tell it to be good until you come back for it. Concentration has nothing to do with the muscles, it has nothing to do with the blood vessels. Concentration means thought control. It is purely a mental thing and if you are rightly concentrating you will find that you are actually relaxed.

People imagine that concentration means holding on to one thought. The human mind is so constituted that it is impossible to do that. True concentration is a movement of the mind along a predetermined path. Nineteen people out of twenty people who say they have failed in concentration have been trying to stand still mentally. All people do have good powers of concentration, but not when they want them. You always concentrate on what you are interested in.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me (Philippians 4:13).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Just Keep Driving

The dogs bark, and the caravan moves on.

~ Persian maxim ~

As I was driving around a bend on a country road, a huge dog jumped at the car window and started barking vehemently. After my initial surprise and a moment of fear, I took a breath and realized that I was entirely safe and protected. The dog stayed quite close to the car for a while, but I just kept driving calmly. Soon he could not keep up with the car, and he retired from his chase.

I saw our encounter as a metaphor for the way troubles jump at us in life. Suddenly, unexpected beasts seem to lurch at us from out of nowhere, and we may be tempted to become afraid and run or counterattack. The answer, however, is usually very simple: just keep driving. Who you are (a spiritual being) and where you live (deep within yourself) is entirely protected from any passing event. We fuel the upsets of live by getting into the ring and battling them. lf you just keep moving toward your chosen destiny, any worldly difficulty will eventually drop away. You are bigger than anything that bothers you.

I love the story in the film Tucker: The Man and his Dream. In 1947 Preston Tucker developed an automobile that was many years ahead of its time, with a range of features that have since become standard equipment. Because his invention posed a threat to other auto manufacturers, he was squashed and falsely accused of crimes. As his trial was being conducted, Tucker doodled. Eventually Tucker was acquitted, and he showed his sketches to his wife—schematic plans for a new kind of refrigerator with the potential to revolutionize the industry. Tucker wasted none of his precious time. Why bother with a trial when you can be creating things that will change the world?

Pay as little attention as possible to your troubles, and as much attention as possible to your dreams. You will receive more of whatever you invest your energy in. You are bigger than any dogs that bark as you pass.

I pray to keep my vision high. Help me to be true to my dreams.

Steadfast in truth, I march on to my destiny.

[bluidkiti]

September 19

Step by Step

“The mental twists that led up to my drinking began many years before I ever took a drink for I am one of those whose history proves conclusively that my drinking was ‘a symptom of a deeper trouble.’
‘Through my efforts to get down to ’causes and conditions,’ I stand convinced that my emotional illness has been present from my earliest recollection. I never did react normally to any emotional situation.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 12 (“Freedom From Bondage”), p 544.

Today, knowing that my emotional and spiritual sickness preceded my alcoholism, I also know that abstaining from drinking is not enough in my recovery. Drinking was, for me, but a symptom of a “deeper trouble,” and AA has to be worked and climbed step by step to cure that symptom. Without tending to the “deeper trouble,” my recovery will be less sober and more like a dry drunk. Whatever my pre-drinking “deeper trouble” was – fear, anger, shame, loneliness, low or inflated self-esteem, resentment, depression or a diagnosed psychiatric condition – I need to confront and either come to terms with it or let it go. Then, and only then, can I move on with the business of sobriety and serenity. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LEARN TO ASK

I never learned anything talking. I only learn things when I ask questions.

~ Lou Holtz ~

The low self-esteem we had when we began the Program often prevented us from asking questions. It is natural for a newcomer to feel they are not worth the time required of a long-timer to give the advice needed. Many of us were afraid that those with solid recovery would be impatient with beginners.

The exact opposite was true. We realized that the experienced men and women in our Program were able, willing and eager to give us the benefits of what they had learned. Our questions reminded them how far they had come, and they were grateful for the reminder.

It was only after a time on the Program that we came to believe wholeheartedly in the advice that "you have to give it away to keep it." By asking questions, we allow others to keep it by giving away their answers.

It is part of my recovery to admit how much I don't know. Wisdom began when I started asking questions.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Man must search for what is right, and let happiness come on its own.

~ Johann Pestalozzi ~

We make a mistake when we try to pursue happiness as if it were something we could achieve and hold. Happiness comes and goes. It is a by-product. If we seek to become better men, to fulfill our deeper values, happiness will visit us along the way. On the other hand, to seek happiness as a goal and expect to hold on to it will only bring frustration and self-pity.

Our human nature calls us to have goals and values that transcend the limits of our own selves. We feel deep love for our children and we want to be the best father possible. When we fulfill that goal, we feel happy. We have a great love for music or art, and we want to participate in it by creating it or appreciating it. When we fulfill that desire, we feel happy. Hard work is not often thought of as happiness, but its outcome often brings happiness.

Today I am working for goals that I believe in. Happiness will come and go along the way.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Celebrate your life and hear your spirit sing.

~ Elisabeth L. ~

“What’s to celebrate?” some people ask. We all get our fill of the cynics. Their negativity can weigh down our spirits. But we don’t have to let them control how we see our lives or theirs. To keep our own perceptions positive, it helps to detach from the naysayers. We will improve our chances if we consciously focus on gratitude for even the tiny blessings rather than on whatever might be wrong.

Becoming grateful is the strongest, safest means of feeling good now that we are abstinent. Not only does it readily alter our mood, but it changes our perspective on every detail of our lives. To be thank-ful rather than “thankless” is a small price to pay for unqualified happiness coupled with serenity.

We’ve all known people who radiate a singing spirit. They love life, themselves, and others. We seek out their company. We can be like those people for the travelers sharing our journey. Let’s do it!

I will practice gratitude today and be a blessing in everyone’s life.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am honored to be called on to help

Being a sponsor or support person offers two kinds of benefits. It helps a fellow traveler to recover.

And just as importantly, it helps me recover. Being a sponsor or support person (a) teaches me humility by reminding me of where I have been; (b) shows me that the more I give, the more I get; (c) helps me understand myself better. In sum, lending support gives depth and meaning to my recovery.

Whenever I receive a call for help, I will honor the request with my best self, my fullest presence.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Information is a virus
that carries freedom.

~ Walter B. Wriston ~

In our recovery from addiction we found that information grants freedom. Before we knew we had an illness called addiction, we thought we were bad people. Then somehow, each of us got the information that there is hope, there is treatment, there is a program for recovery, there is a new life waiting for us. We began moving toward freedom — freedom from alcohol and drugs, freedom from fear, freedom from despair and self-hatred.

Our minds constantly process events and tell us who we are. As we learn healthy new ways to live, our minds grow in positive ways, too. We find we’re hungry for knowledge. Gathering information is one reason we continue to go to meetings and read daily meditations — information helps us remain free. It reminds us of where we’ve been and where we are going. And we gain new insight into illness, addiction, and ongoing recovery.

Information can bring us freedom.

Today I pray that I will always be willing to listen and learn.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Go to meetings when you want to, and go to meetings when you don’t want to.

~ Author unknown ~

To use the excuse that you have not been able to find any recovery meetings that are right for you is a bit like saying you have not found a word in the dictionary that you like. Whether you live in the city, the suburbs, or in a rural location, there are a variety of meetings and formats. Some meetings are open to anyone who is interested in learning more about addiction. Others are closed, reserved for those who have identified themselves as having a problem with alcohol. Some are gender-specific (men or women only), some are for people of color, and some are for those who are gay.

There are discussion meetings that feature dialogue on a particular topic, meetings devoted to a speaker’s story, and meetings that combine reflection on a speaker’s story with open-topic dialogue. There are also Big Book study meetings and meetings that focus on the Twelve Steps.

There is no “right” meeting to attend or “right” way to run a meeting. Rather than criticize the meetings you have attended or avoid attending meetings, give another meeting a chance. As it is often said in AA, “Meeting-makers make it.”

I will find something worthwhile in any and every meeting I attend.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When the friendly lights go out, there is a light by which the heart sees.

~ Olga Rosmanith ~

Coming home at night to an unlit house or apartment can be frightening. As we frantically grope for a light switch, we may stumble over tables and chairs that seem to have shifted position in the dark. Yet once the lights go on, we feel an instantaneous burst of relief as we once again view our familiar surroundings.

We do not always need bright lights to find our way in the dark. Faith in a Higher Power that watches over us at all times of our lives is our inner light. This light burns as brightly as our belief. If we are filled with fear, doubt, and insecurity, then we will stumble. But if we are filled with faith, hope, and trust, our feet are always secure.

If we can learn to trust that light within us, we will no longer be frightened of the night. We will not have such a panicked need to flutter from light to light. We will be secure in ourselves, no matter where we are.

Tonight I can remember I am the lighter of my internal lamp.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being human

We are imperfect, human. To learn, we make mistakes and suffer consequences. This is true for all of us, everywhere.

So when we do very human things, it helps if we do not punish ourselves but accept our humanness. We need not judge ourselves as others might, but only as God might judge us, with complete acceptance.

Am I learning to accept my humanness?

Higher Power, help me to see that my humanness is less a problem than a path.

Today I will celebrate my humanness by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

In the well there is a clear, cold spring
From which one can drink.

~ THE BOOK OF CHANGES ~

Newcomer

For a little while yesterday, I had an extraordinary experience of happiness. I felt as if I could just be, with no sense of pressure or hurry; everything seemed to happen just as it should. No experience that I had in my days of active addiction was better than this one. I'd like to feel this way all the time.

Sponsor

Though we can't always have peak experiences, the sense that all is well and as it should be is available to us, if we choose to go there. It's reality, not illusion. In the past, our drug of choice may have brought momentary feelings of peace or connection, but it soon robbed us of more than it gave. Now, having accumulated some time in recovery, we've begun to have a more solid sense of ourselves. We've dropped some of our burden of fear and pressure. Whether in a meeting, meditating, or simply going from one place to another in our day, we relax more easily. We trust that we'll be here again tomorrow, and that things will continue to improve. As our self-centered fear lifts, we see beauty in what is around us. We sense our connection to others and to the Spirit moving through all of us. The gift of a peak experience like the one you've described continues to nurture and transform us even after it has passed.

Today, I see myself, others, and the natural world with the eyes of my soul.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The cry of the single word "Help" will bring more people to your rescue than a long and eloquent oration of your needs. If the God of your understanding is a personal God, one who has all Godly attributes in infinite quantities, then He knows your needs before your sluggish human intelligence is capable of realizing them. The secret of prayer is not long or frequent appeals in Biblical phraseology but an humble, contrite heart, a hope that expects its plea to be heard. A recognition of the Infinite Love that we acknowledge will do all those things which He, in His wisdom, knows are best for us.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Make Me Brave for Life

God, make me brave for life, Oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain, as a tree straightens
after rain,
Shining and lovely again.
God, make me brave for life, much braver
than this.

As the blown grass lifts, let me rise
From sorrow with quiet eyes,
Knowing Your will is wise.
God, make me brave; life brings
Such blinding things.
Help me to keep my sight;
Help me to see what's right,
That out of dark comes light.

~ Author unknown ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SUCCESSFUL CONCENTRATION

I do not give exercises to develop concentration. Concentrate on what you are doing at any time, that is the best exercise I know.

I remember when I was a boy about twelve years old somebody gave me a perfect peach of a jackknife. It probably weighed quarter of a pound and there was a little saw in it, a little screwdriver, a corkscrew, a thing for getting stones out of horses’ hoofs, and several blades. I carried it for about a year thinking how handy it would be for certain cases that never came up, but it never lost its interest. I could always find, when I was bored, new interest when I took out the jackknife. If you make your search for God your jackknife in that sense, you will get your concentration and you will get your success.

Thus will I bless thee while I live . . . and meditate on thee in the night watches (Psalm 63:4, 6).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Gold In, Gold Out

All limitations are self-imposed.

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes ~

Glad in coveralls and galoshes, 61-year-old Cliff Young, a farmer from Australia's outback, seemed an anomaly in the grueling 400kilometer marathon. As the younger athletes mentally psyched themselves to run 18 hours a day and sleep 6 hours a night, they wondered if old Cliff would survive the first day. But then an amazing event occurred. A full day-and-a-half before the lead runners were expected to finish, a 61-year-old foot in rubber galoshes crossed the finish line. Cliff Young completed the race in record-breaking time, 36 hours before men 40 years his junior. No one, you see, had told Cliff that he was supposed to sleep. While the younger men were snoozing, Cliff Young was cruising.

Ignorance is bliss when the thing we are ignorant of is limitation. Our mind establishes the reality in which we will live, as well as our subsequent physical experience. We live as large as we think.

The next year of the race, several runners broke Cliff Young's record. They adopted his method of running without sleep and gave up their belief system that one had to sleep six hours a night to win the race.

When you make up your mind, you make up your life. Be sure that the building blocks of your belief system are the ones you want to be reflected in your experience. In the computer world, the term "G.I.G.O." means Garbage In, Garbage Out. If you program a computer with faulty information, you will receive faulty results. We may also affirm, "Gold In, Gold Out." Feed your mind golden ideas, and your life will be golden.

I accept only those ideas that lead me to freedom.

I create the life I choose with my sacred thoughts.

[bluidkiti]

September 20

Step by Step

“To most of us, making amends will take the rest of our lives, but we can start immediately. Just being sober will be making amends to many we have hurt by our drunken actions. Making amends is sometimes doing what we are capable of doing but failed to do because of alcohol; carrying out community responsibilities such as Community Funds, Red Cross, educational and religious activities in proportion to our abilities and energies.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 10 (“It Might Have Been Worse”), pp 381-82.

Today, I know I owe amends not only for what I have done but for what I didn’t do. If in my drinking days, or even now, I neglected to be a faithful spouse or partner, a nurturing parent, a productive employee or if I have failed to let go of a litany of character defects, atoning for failing to do what I should have done is as important as atoning for what I did do and shouldn’t have. To many people and in many cases, direct amends are not and may never be possible. But I can pray that my strongest and sincerest amend is to work for and remain sober. This is why we, the people of AA, are here. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.,

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CHANGES

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

~ Norman Vincent Peale ~

We learn from the Program that all of our lives are made up of changes. Life for us can be like the seasons of the year. The uncomfortable blizzards of winter will pass. Spring brings flowers. Chattering birds fill the air with song where once there was wind, snow, and ice.

We know summer will follow spring. We learn to take the bad with the good. Hardships can make us stronger. Suffering cannot last forever. The key is to see life with optimism. We know that the changing of the seasons is like the changes in our lives.

When we use the Serenity Prayer, we may occasionally lose sight of its meaning. We need to concentrate on the differences between what we can change and what we can't.

I trust and believe that the changes in my recovery life are like the changing of the seasons. They are necessary and good for me.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness.

~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

We got into our difficulties because of the ways we managed our desires and longings. When we found ways to easily cool our pain or satisfy our longings, we got hooked on them. After we learned that our controlling and addictive behaviors could make us feel comfortable and bring intense pleasure, we got even more hooked on them. But they quickly proved to be false answers.

Now we are a bit wiser, and we strive to avoid those alluring pitfalls. So we daily turn in prayer to our Higher Power. This is the longer, slower approach to managing our desires and longings. Ultimately what we sought in the easy answers was something deeper, more satisfying. Through our spiritual life we find satisfaction to our longings and yearnings.

Today I bring my powerlessness to a Higher Power for care and guidance.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Sharing is healing.

~ Cathy Stone ~

It’s not easy to share the intimate details of our lives. We have guarded our secrets for years. But now it’s suggested that we tell our secrets to people whose names we barely know. That’s certainly not the way we were raised, and listening to others reveal their awful truths startles us initially. However, we can’t help but notice how much better than us other people seem to feel. We eventually understand that the more we open up, the less encumbered we’ll feel by the past.

The magic in sharing our experience, strength, and hope with others is hard to define. We simply know that when we do it, we feel relieved of our burden and we help another woman feel less isolated. We have come together because we want to get well.

I will make sure I’m not keeping something to myself today that’s causing me pain. Whoever I share it with will be helped too.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to let others help me

I have never liked being ill and needing a doctor. Yet here I am, sick again. I wish I didn't need anyone's help or have to trust anyone. But I have a dual disorder and I am slowly realizing that I cannot manage these illnesses on my own.

Maybe it's time I stopped resisting and started accepting. If I can't recover alone, I can at least take heart that there are many who can help: not just doctors, but counselors, therapists, case managers, and social workers. And not just professionals, but caring fellow travelers and sponsors in support groups and Twelve Step fellowships. I can be grateful that help is available and that I am not alone.

I will pray for the willingness to allow others to help.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

He who smiles rather than rages,
is always the stronger.

~ Japanese saying ~

Rage, big angers, and old resentments cause our blood and emotional pressures to rise. There is no comfort or healing in rage against another, only pain and frustration. Nurtured anger has a way of turning back on itself and making us sick inside. Certain cultures even prescribe “forgiveness” as a cure for illness, based on a belief that resentment can make us physically and emotionally sick.

Giving up old resentments may feel like saying goodbye to a long-time friend. It may not have been a happy friendship, but at least it was familiar.

Letting go of anger may be frightening. But giving up anger doesn’t mean our enemy was right, it only means we are tired of being “married” to that person through pain. It means that we are no longer willing to allow our mind, body, and spirit to be poisoned by the venom of nurtured hurt and anger.

And when we let go of pain and anger, we make room for love and joy.

Today let me give up my resentments. Help me heal and free my energies for a richer, more productive life.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Power? It is like Dead Sea fruit. When you achieve it, there is nothing there.

~ Harold Macmillan ~

Once there was a simple man who was jealous of the king’s power. He felt that if he had power greater than the king’s, he would be a happy man. So he observed how the sun rose over everything and had the power to make things grow. So he became the sun and was happy for a few days.

But then a dark cloud blocked his light and his ability to oversee the land below. He considered the cloud to be more powerful than the sun, and so he became a cloud.

As a cloud he emitted great torrents of water that washed nearly everything away—except for a giant boulder. He considered the boulder to be more powerful than the sun and the cloud, so he became the boulder.

He stayed steadfast and unmoving as the boulder. But then the land dried out, and one day a stone cutter came to him and chiseled him into tiny pieces.

Your addiction once promised you great power. Now that you are in the program, you understand more clearly how powerless you were to resist the temptation presented by your addiction. You have become stronger than you realize.

I have more power in recovery than I did when I was using.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

What [we] usually ask of God . . . is that two and two not make four.

~ Anonymous ~

Wouldn't it be nice if . . . If only . . . What I wish would happen is . . . Imagine if . . . I should have . . . Don't these unfinished statements sound familiar? They usually occur when we're looking away from the reality of a situation to the fantasy of what might have been.

We may do the same wishful thinking in our prayers. Do we still ask for our Higher Power to make our parents or child or brother or sister or lover or spouse stop drinking or using drugs? Do we ask for material things?

Our Higher Power isn't a fairy godmother sent to us to grant us any wish we'd like. Our Higher Power deals in realities, not wishful thinking. We, too, need to deal in realities when we pray. That way, we have a much better chance of having our prayers answered.

How can I make my prayers more real tonight? I can ask for things I know are possible instead of impossible.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Charting

The old saying is true: You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. It’s the same with addiction and recovery. People can take away our drugs and put us in treatment, but no one can make us clean and sober.

When it hurts enough, when we’re scared enough, when we’re sick and tired enough, when we’ve lost enough, then we’ll begin to change. But we have to want to change. It’s the key.

What am I willing to do to recover?

Higher Power, help me to want what I need, to want what is best for me.

I will further my recovery today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Follow your bliss.

~ JOSEPH CAMPBELL ~

Newcomer

I want to make a significant change in a certain aspect of my life. There are people around me giving me encouragement, but something in me is still having doubts. Can I do it? Should I try? Will I succeed?

Sponsor

We didn't get sober merely to do the safe things, the things that we think others expect of us, even the things we previously expected of ourselves. In recovery, we don't have to let feelings of self-doubt or scarcity rule us. We don't have to have a guarantee of what the outcome will be, because we know that we will continue to have the capacity to find creative alternatives. We can move toward becoming the larger, freer people that, deep in our souls, we already know we are. If what we currently view as obstacles were removed, what would we really like to be doing?

I have an exercise to propose, one I've found helpful over the years: it makes use of the powerful tool of writing to explore our desires for change and accomplishment. Try making a list of five things that you'd like to accomplish in the next five years, then lists of five things you'd like to accomplish in the next year, month, and week. List not just what you think you can achieve, but what you'd like to achieve. Sign and date each of the lists of five goals. In doing this, you've made a start toward imagining change in your life.

Today, I acknowledge my dream. I take one action that moves me closer to it.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The troubles of the backwoods mountaineer are just as big and just as numerous to him as yours are to you. They seldom crack up mentally, however, because they have no "experts" to cure them of their present worries by finding things wrong that they never suspected before, thus giving them a brand new crop of worries,

We often worry ourselves into the psychiatrist's office and then worry ourselves into another when we get the first one's bill.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Share Strength

Today I will stand up for those who are weak and
beaten down, for those who are poor and treated
unfairly, and

I will speak out for those who have no voice and no
home.

I shall do this to remind myself that I was once one
of them and could yet become one of them.

In doing this, I save another and keep myself
from my addiction, my weakness.

This I pray.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

LIVING TO HIS GLORY

If you seem to yourself to be lacking in certain necessary qualities, seek that aspect of God which will meet your lack. If you seem to lack strength, ask God to give you what you need. Remember you can build any quality into your mentality by meditating upon that quality every day. You have created your limited self by thinking and you can destroy it at any moment by thinking a new pattern.

Why do we not change from day to day, and week to week, from glory to glory until our friends can scarcely recognize us for the same man or woman? Why should we not march around the world looking like gods, and feeling it; healing instantaneously all who come to us; reforming the sinner; setting captives free?

The spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bindup the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives , and the opening of the prison to them that are bound (Isaiah 61:1).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Rock Formations

Do not return evil for evil, but return evil with good.

~ Jesus Christ ~

The driveway to a retreat center I visit in Hawaii is meticulously landscaped with a garden in which a group of large rocks spell out the word Aloha, the Hawaiian greeting of love. One day as I entered the grounds, I was surprised to see that some local vandals had reconfigured the rocks to spell "Fags," as a slur against several gay men who manage the resort. When I pointed this out to one of the managers, he told me, "Some of the locals do that every couple of months." The next day, the rocks were beautifully rearranged into Aloha again.

This episode symbolizes how we can deal with negativity when it comes our way. We may take the time and care to make a statement of love and kindness, and then someone may take our gift and try to use it to hurt us. Then we have a choice: We can either retaliate and try to hurt them, or we can reaffirm our stand of kindness. The managers chose not to fight the vandals, but to simply rearrange the rocks with love.

Every day, we have many opportunities to rearrange our rocks and decide what message we wish to offer. Even if someone keeps perverting our message, we can keep affirming the truth we wish to establish. Aloha is always more powerful than prejudice. When all else falls away, it is the aloha we will remember.

Give me the strength to answer evil with love.

I found my actions on the power of love.

[bluidkiti]

September 21

Step by Step

“…(W)e launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.
‘Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5 (“How It Works”), pp 63-4.

Today, courage and honesty to face alcoholism as a symptom of the “causes and conditions” of my addictive personality, and knowledge to treat those causes rather than just the symptoms. Courage, honesty and willingness are the prerequisite of the Fourth Step because, without all three, recovery from addiction cannot be fully realized and may set us up for failure by way of a relapse or simply trading one addiction for another. For many of us, drinking developed after years of hoarding emotional and spiritual garbage, and the pile grew in our drinking days. In coming to the decision that we no longer want and are eager to clean out the garbage, we may be on a solid foundation to make our Fourth Step as thorough as it can be. Grant that we be graced with the courage and strength to make our house as clean as it can be. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

WILLINGNESS

Willingness is the key.

~ Anonymous ~

One by one, our disease consumed the many possibilities that filled life. Our addiction ate careers, marriages, homes. We always wanted one more chance, one more opportunity to make it on our own. The disease told us that we were strong enough, smart enough, ready enough to do anything we wanted. It's the only disease that tells us we don't have it.

There is only one kind of willingness that will work in the face of this disease of denial: the willingness to take certain Steps and not pick up the first drink or do the first drug; the willingness to admit that the disease had an uncontrollable power over us and that our lives were unmanageable. We were told that if we are honest, we had a chance. We needed to be ready to go to any lengths to put an end to our disease. This was necessary because we lived with a disease that would go to any lengths to kill us.

When I let go of my ego's destructive self-will, I began to understand that my growth and happiness are based on my willingness to change for the better.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

For man, autumn is a time of harvest, of gathering together. For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad.

~ Edwin Way Teale ~

Autumn is a good metaphor for the Twelfth Step. In this Step we are reaping the benefits of recovery, but it is also important for continued recovery that we spread the word. It is a time to tell our stories and invite others to have what we have found. Nature sustains itself not by hoarding and keeping its bounty locked up, but by generously and prolifically scattering its seeds to the wind. We need to do the same in recovery.

The early recoverers who discovered the path that became the Twelve Steps quickly recognized that their own precarious progress required them to tell their stories to other alcoholics. They asked permission from other suffering addicts to be allowed to tell their stories, not to promote their method, but to sustain their own progress. We, too, need to tell other people where we have been and what we have found.

Today I will be generous in giving away what I have learned.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.

~ Anais Nin ~

We are surrounded by women and men who are necessary for our development. That’s a startling revelation perhaps. We don’t even like everybody in our life! How can we need them? But we do. Our Higher Power clearly understands our purpose and our needs, and ushers into our lives those people who will help us grow and change and contribute. It sounds mysterious initially, but when we get accustomed to the idea, we are relieved. Each person will teach us something we need to know about life and about ourselves.

Our individual character is growing, changing, maturing. Our understanding of others and our experiences deepens with each unfolding event. The world is ever-changing. By design, not coincidence, we will befriend those people who need us, just as we need them.

I am where I need to be. My friends and associates need me as I need them. We are moving and growing in concert.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel joyful

I've been struggling over the past several months, first to get sober and then to get stable with my psychiatric illness: So much anger, fear, and frustration so much of the time.

But today, I feel grateful. My effort is paying off. I woke up feeling I had a handle on my life. I woke up with a feeling of strength, a feeling that I could accept and deal with whatever life offered me. It was a glow, a surge that said I truly want to be alive—right here, right now I call this glow joy.

When I feel joy I will humbly radiate it. I will simply smile.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I will say of the Lord,
He is my refuge and my fortress:
my God; in Him I will trust.

~ Psalms 91:2 ~

Spinning our wheels seems to be part of being human, and it is a wise person who can let go of life and trust in the rhythms of time and nature and God. We want so badly to control our lives and solve our problems independently — our upbringing and our culture proclaim this as the highest of ideals. But now we know that control is an illusion. And we remember the times we thought we were most in control as being quite out of control instead.

Paradoxically, we are finding that the more we surrender, the more we let go of our own self-will, the more new doors open, and the more choices we have. When we let go, we gain. We are blessed when we come to understand this — when we do the footwork but turn over the outcome. We are blessed when we let go and let God.

Today help me do the footwork but let go of the outcome. Help me let go and let God.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Just because you’re not sick doesn’t mean you’re healthy.

~ Author unknown ~

By definition, an addictive behavior is something that so dominates your thoughts and actions that it becomes a focus in your life. This focus can affect you in ways similar td substance addiction and become just as habit-forming. Take away your ability to engage in something that has become a habit, and you may experience similar symptoms to withdrawal from a substance. Not only will you physically feel the deprivation, but you will also feel it emotionally through mood swings, anger, and depression, and spiritually through an overall sense of emptiness.

Whether you view such things as simply part of your personality, as compulsive behaviors that you can stop at any time, or as true addictions, anything that overtakes your life to such an extent that it excludes others or helps you avoid your responsibilities is not good for your over-all health. While your dedication to your job may have brought great financial reward, it may have damaged your marriage or your relationship with your children. While your commitment to exercising every day is laudable, your inability to take a break even when you are exhausted will work against you. Good health requires balance in all that you do.

I will pay attention to my behaviors to ensure I have not m placed one addiction with another.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The great victories of life are oftenest won in a quiet way, and not with alarms and trumpets.

~ Benjamin N. Cardozo ~

How do we know we're getting better? What do we think will happen when we exhibit mature behavior and a positive outlook?

Sometimes we may expect too much from recovery. The successes we have and the achievements we make will not be greeted by fanfare and celebration. Sometimes we won't get any recognition. We might even get disapproval for our mature, positive behaviors.

It's up to us to recognize our victories. We can celebrate such joyous times with a smile or a nod, by making a notation in a journal, or by sharing it at a meeting or in a telephone call. Victory after victory we will come to realize the most important thing about our achievements is not the recognition but the peaceful, satisfied feeling we have inside.

What were my victories today? Tonight I can celebrate these victories with the wonderful feelings of pride, satisfaction, and good self-esteem.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Choosing the spiritual life

As we come into recovery, we have a critical choice to make. We can choose either the spiritual world (the Twelve Steps) or the material world (which we already know hasn’t worked for us). We can choose to live in the spirit or to live in an illusion (part of which was our addiction).

We can put our faith in a Higher Power or we can follow (and fear) the opinions of others. We can make a commitment, or we can be passive and withdrawn.

Which choice strengthens my recovery?

Higher Power, help me to always choose the path that keeps my recovery strong.

As part of my spiritual life, today I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Every morning touch the earth.
Every night Praise the worms.
Listen.

~ CATHERINE RISINGTLAMN MOIRAI ~

Newcomer

Sometimes I miss the "good times," before my addiction turned on me. But I also have to admit—although I'm ashamed to—that sometimes I miss the drama and the insanity, too!

Sponsor

Your honesty always gives me insights about my own feelings in recovery. It may be that the intensity of our cravings and the extreme measures we were willing to take in order to satisfy them made us into dramatic people. Or perhaps it was the other way around: our love of excitement led us to experimentation and excess. Whichever came first, most of us have scorned moderation, taken risks, and lived close to the edge. We've identified ourselves as rebels, misfits, or people whose paths were uniquely difficult. We were attached to those self-images, which went hand in hand with our attachment to our drug of choice. It made us feel special and alive. In recovery, life offers an abundance of situations that require vision and courage. We don't have to imagine or create unnecessary drama to make daily life interesting. Over time, we may even learn to love a more balanced, peaceful life.

Today, I acknowledge my addiction to intensity. I keep a sense of balance in my day by taking time to breathe, stop, reflect, and tune into the rhythms of the natural world.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

If most of us had one wish, we'd wish we hadn't had it. Most of all our difficulties in the past resulted from our persistence in doing what we wished. To us alcoholics our wishes were paramount and everything else was sacrificed in order to accomplish them.

From here on in, if we are smart, our wishes will be, not what we want, but a sincere desire to want what God wishes.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Saving the World

Today may my prayers help me realize
I cannot control everything.
To put the world in order,
We must first put the nation in order;
To put the nation in order,
We must first put the family in order,
To put the family in order,
We must first cultivate our personal life,
We must first set our hearts right.

~ by Confucius ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SPIRITUAL LITERACY

The Bible is the most precious possession of the human race. It shows us how to live. It meets everyone on his own level and brings him to God. Nevertheless, its real value lies in our interpretation of it.

Hear a Parable: A remote island was inhabited by highly intelligent savages. They had some primitive art and made excellent drawings of animals on the walls of caves. A box was washed ashore containing a number of books, dry and in good condition. The natives were delighted and pored over these pages admiring the odd shapes and patterns made by the letter press—totally unaware of the real meanings behind it all; unaware of the very existence of Falstaff, or Portia, or Hamlet; of Huckleberry Finn, and of the other characters who lived in the books.

If you have been reading the Bible without the spiritual interpretation you are in just that position.

Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures (Mathew 22:29).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Abundant Universe

There is room at the top for everyone.

~ Anonymous ~

I remember the Saturday afternoon long ago when the ticket-taker at a movie theater handed me a petition to sign against the establishment of cable television. At that time, cable was just an idea, and movie owners feared that if people were able to watch movies at home, they would lose interest in attending the theater. Now cable has become almost as common as telephone, and both theaters and cable (with hundreds of available channels) are booming. In addition, home video is a mega-business, and Pay-Per-View satellite screening is a thriving enterprise. Contrary to the early sense of threat that theater owners felt, cable did not detract from movie business, but enhanced it. The two forms of media were not in competition at all; ultimately they empowered one another.

The notion of competition is fear based and has little value in a creative world. There is room in the world for many good ideas. The element that determines your success in a venture is not what the person around the corner is doing, but what you are doing. Invest your work with integrity, caring, creativity, and service, and you are sure to succeed.

Eliminate from your mind the notion that someone else can take away your good. You are the source of your life and experience, and everything that comes to you or goes from you is a result of your consciousness. lt is quite literally possible for everyone on the planet to succeed gloriously at whatever their heart calls them to do.

I pray to think with You, God. Help me remember that I create my life with my consciousness, and support me to live from truth.

I can have it all because I am it all.

[bluidkiti]

September 22

Step by Step

Today, the lifeline has been tossed and the Big Book provided. This is the day I grab onto both. The time for wallowing stops, and it’s time to get to the business of moving on. God help me if I can’t say enough is enough, that I haven’t become disgusted enough with myself, that I obviously prefer life in a gutter. God grant me the anger, even fury, to realize I can’t kid myself any longer just as I stopped fooling everyone long ago – except myself. Today, I’m sick of the pathetic person I awaken to every morning with a hangover, using whatever excuse or justification I can to keep drinking, fed up with the person I am who evokes from most everyone a sigh and shake of the head as if I’m a lost cause. Alright, then! Yesterday, I was a lost cause. Today, I’m angry and fed up enough to grab onto the cause that can restore me. The lifeline of AA has been thrown to me, the Big Book opened. Today, I take up both. Enough is enough. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SELF-ESTEEM

Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who has a low opinion of himself.

~ Anthony Trollope ~

We often hear, "It takes what it takes." Recovery works for those who not only want it badly enough but also know the Program will improve their self-esteem if they work at it. We also know that we cannot succeed unless we follow the Steps of the Program and continue to work with others in every way.

To succeed, we have to stop thinking we are less than other people. We tell ourselves we are not unworthy, inadequate, or unable to cope fully with life's problems. We begin to see the glass as half-full, instead of half-empty. We have to get rid of feelings of inability before we can make progress. If we change our thoughts, we change ourselves.

By holding a positive attitude based on an honest and realistic self-knowledge of myself, I will continue to build my self-esteem and have the esteem of others.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in.

~ Winston Churchill ~

In the Serenity Prayer we seek to accept the things we cannot change and to change the things we can. Many of us have been discouraged by repeated relapses and by overwhelming problems. This is a time when we need to discern between what we can and cannot change. A man with diabetes, after first losing his eyesight and then one leg to his disease, says that he carries on, loving life, because he still chooses to have purpose and meaning. He cannot change his disease; he has to accept it.

Our heroes aren’t the guys who had it easy. The greatest heroes are always the ones who battled with discouragement and great challenges. A relapse isn’t the end of the story. We have risked losing everything, including our lives, but if we survived, we never go back to square one. Our past, no matter how dark, is a resource to build upon. If we have relapsed, we don’t lose what we learned in our past time of recovery. We only need to diligently learn from our mistakes and return to what we know recovery still offers.

Today I resolve to never give up on life.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When I am lonely, I try to think of angels.

~ Betty MacDonald ~

We need comfort when we feel lonely. Loneliness is often coupled with fear. We wonder, Can I handle what faces me today? Often we think we can’t. But we don’t ever have to face any situation alone, or handle any painful relationship in isolation. The “angels” who guide and protect us are as close as our thoughts.

Twelve Step programs give us the freedom to define our Higher Power in any way that suits us. Believing our Higher Power is an angel satisfies our need to have someone watching over us, protecting us wherever we are, loving us despite our failings.

We are nurtured or harmed by the thoughts we carry in our minds. Imagining an angel or a ring of angels to walk us through each day relieves our loneliness and dissipates our fears.

I have a friend in my Higher Power. We’ll be together throughout this day.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to take care of the basics

In this process of getting abstinent and stable, sometimes I get so discouraged I hardly care about how I look. Sometimes even keeping my body clean and putting on clean clothes don’t seem to matter much. Sometimes I simply don't take care of myself.

But I've learned that in everyday recovery from a dual disorder, taking care of basic hygiene really does make a difference. It helps me keep up my self-esteem and it helps me feel more at ease around people. Doing the basics for my body can help me stay balanced, avoid relapse, and generally be happier.

I will write down the basic ways I must take care of my body each day and then be sure to include them in my daily recovery plan.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

It would not be better if things happened to men just as they wish.

~ Heraclitus ~

We may have come into recovery silently thinking, "Now I’ll find out how to make everyone change!” Only after hard work and determination do we come to understand that we must be the one to do the changing.

We may be willing to change our thinking, but this also requires accepting the responsibilities that go along with that change. Sometimes we will have to accept the hurt as well as the happiness. Self- knowledge gives us great power — it releases us from past actions and gives us the power to make better choices in the present. It is up to us to be responsible and deal with change in a positive way.

Change can open many doors in our lives and we need not be afraid of this challenge. Look how much we’ve changed since we got sober. Our bodies and minds are healthy and fit again. And with the help of our Higher Power, we’ve embraced our spiritual selves as never before. All these came from making one positive choice after another. In recovery, we have the power to keep making changes that enrich our lives.

Today let me change one small thing in me to make myself a better person.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We’ll never know the worth of water till the well go dry.

~ Scottish proverb ~

Think of the process entailed in applying for a loan. First you have to fill out an application. Then you must make all of your financial information available. Finally, you must wait until the lending company has assessed the risk involved in loaning you the money. If you have a good credit history and income, your loan will most likely be approved. But if your credit history is not good and you are not making enough money to cover the loan payments, then your application will most likely be denied.

So many things in life are determined by a similar process of assessment before approval or disapproval is given. But this is not the way the program works. Nor is it the way your relationship with a Higher Power is developed.

In essence, there is no room for excuses in the program or with your Higher Power. You are worthy, even if you think you are not. You are loved, even if you do not love yourself. You are accepted, even if you are not yet accepting of yourself. You are forgiven, even if you have not yet forgiven yourself. And you are approved, no matter how many times you have failed in the past.

I will not use any excuses to distance myself from the program or from a Higher Power.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

~ Will Rogers ~

We may have been brought up to feel a great deal of guilt and shame over the actions of our alcoholic families. As we grew older we may have chosen to act inappropriately toward others so we could continue to feel the guilt and shame that had become so familiar to us.

Are we ashamed or guilty about our behaviors today? Chances are we have so improved our attitudes and our self-image that we now act in mature, responsible ways. We may feel quite proud today about the good people we are becoming.

Today we may feel a lot less fear about our actions. We may be more confident that we aren't antagonizing people anymore or making a spectacle of ourselves. Tonight we can be proud of who we are and project this pride to others.

Tonight I feel I'm on the right path. I'm no longer filled with guilt or shame about my actions. I'm proud of me!

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Seeking truth

As addicts, we were sure we knew the truth, but we didn’t. We knew very little about truth but a lot about the lie of addiction.

In recovery, we want to find out what is true for us. We do this by listening carefully to others, asking questions, and then slowly deciding for ourselves.

Am I seeking the truth?

Higher Power, help me to be open to new truths and strong enough to apply them in my life.

Today I will be authentic by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

There is no love apart from the deeds of love; no potentiality of love but that which is manifested in loving.

~ JEAN-PAUL SARTRE ~

Newcomer

Sometimes I wonder if I can give or receive love. When I think about my past in active addiction, there was passion and drama, but not a lot of love. There hasn't been much of it in my recovery so far, either.

Sponsor

What exactly are we talking about when we talk about love? Many of us—and this was certainly true of me—have used this word primarily to describe a fantasy. We imagined that somewhere there was an ideal person who could meet all our needs and make us whole. Love meant rescue or a problem-free relationship. When we didn't find it, we bewailed our loneliness and bad luck.

Love is not something that is bestowed on us. We can create it, every day. It grows in each of us as we take actions that affirm our respect and caring for others and ourselves. Love is not limited to romantic encounters, but extends to our daily relationships with other people, including our friends and members of our communities. Love is not in scarce supply. Our acts of kindness and service and our practice of genuine tolerance renew love in the world and in our hearts.

Today, I add to the abundance of many kinds of love in my life.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics had contracted the world until it was no larger than ourselves and our narrow interests. We had few interests that extended beyond our hand or our eye. Everything else was relegated to another world entirely apart from us. It is little wonder that the world gave us no more thought, except for our nuisance value, than they did a man from Mars for, we too, were occupants of another world.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

You Give Me Strength

Lord God, thank You for loving me
Even when I turn away from You.
I am grateful for Your constant care and concern.
Though I feel unworthy of Your great love,
I thank You that through my weakness
You give me strength,
And in my wanderings You show me the way.

~ Author Unknown ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

FACING TWO WAYS

Are you double-minded? Jesus says that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways, and that such a person need expect nothing from the Great Law.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord (James 1:5-7).

This is very obvious common sense. If you affirm one thing now, and the opposite in half an hour; if you meditate helpfully and then go downstairs to talk trouble; it is entirely natural that you should fail to influence people with the peace that comes with prayer.

If you stepped into a taxi at Grand Central and told the driver to take you to Central Park, and then, after a block, told him to drive you to the Battery and then after a couple of blocks asked him to go to Central Park again, you could hardly expect the driver to land you at any destination. And yet this is what a good many of us do in practice. We affirm both harmony and disharmony until the subconscious mind is completely muddled, and, of course, our lives are in confusion.

Where our words and deeds reinforce one another the effect is powerful and the result certain. Where they are not in accord they cancel out, leaving us where we started, or more likely worse off.

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Letters from God

Dreams are like letters from God. Isn't it time you answered your mail?

~ Marie Louise von Franz ~

Dreams carry some of the most important messages of our lives. When we sleep at night, the static of the conscious mind is stilled, and Spirit is able to speak to us through symbols, imparting what we are unable to access during our daily activities. An entire world of blessing is available to us in our dreams.

There are at least four levels and types of dreams, all of which offer us healing. Some dreams work out unresolved issues from our day. If you underwent a traumatic situation such as an argument or near-miss auto accident, and you did not take time to process it, your subconscious will perform that unraveling for you. Other dreams are prophetic; Universal Mind is giving you a vision of a situation that will or could happen if you stay on your current course. Other dreams allow us to make contact with people we love or need to meet on the inner plane. If there is someone in your life who has passed on, or from whom you have been separated physically, the world of spirit can give you easy access to communicate with them even more deeply that if you had met them physically. Other dreams are inspirational; directly or through a messenger, God brings you love, guidance, and confidence. lf you wake up with a feeling of deep peace in your heart, you have been touched by Spirit on the inner plane.

Before going to sleep, prepare yourself to receive the richest gifts in your dream world. Do not eat a heavy meal, watch negative television shows, argue, or stir up your thinking mind with office work. Instead, read uplifting material. Listen to gentle music, or meditate before retiring. As you close your eyes, ask the Holy Spirit and your guides to come to you during your sleep time and bless you with rest, healing, and any information or visions that will help you spiritually. Thank God for your day and the night to come. Happy dreams!

Father, be with me tonight. Speak to me through my visions.

I am open and receptive to God's guidance and healing.

[bluidkiti]

September 23

Step by Step

“For 18 years, from the age of 21 to 39, fear governed my life. By the time I was 30, I had found that alcohol dissolved fear. For a little while. In the end, I had two problems instead of one: fear and alcohol.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Personal Stories,” Ch 9 (“The Man Who Mastered Fear”), p 275.

Today, neither fear nor alcohol will be master because I understand now that both are choices – and I choose not to devote any part of today to either. Whether fear came first and triggered my drinking or if my drinking plunged me into fear of virtually everything is of no consequence anymore. Both feed each other, and my participation is required for the exchange to occur. Just as a toddler grows bored with crawling and pushes the challenge to stand on his own, so it is with me: I am tired and bored with my drinking, with fear and it pushing me to the bottle. The time has come to push the challenge to walk again on my own – in sobriety. AA is here to hold my hand. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PASS IT ON

It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding.

~ Kahlil Gibran ~

Each of us is equally responsible for the future well-being of our Fellowship. Each of us, having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, is called on to carry the message to others and to continue practicing these principles in all our affairs.

The key to our ever-present renewal as a Fellowship is the fact that we can't stay recovered unless we share our recovery. It is always in our self-interest to pass it on. The sharing we do in our meetings acts like a breeder reactor for recovery.

When we're asked to share, we can "pass it on." But we can also "pass it on" by simply understanding even when not asked. In our first meeting, we knew that these people understood what we were going through even without their sharing. That feeling kept us coming back. We knew we were home.

The Program has taught me that the price for serenity and sanity is self-sacrifice. I will pass it on.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To be sensual is to respect and rejoice in the force of life itself and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the breaking of bread.

~ Phyl Garland ~

Sensuality and sexuality are very spiritual experiences. When we take pleasure in our senses and take joy in life, we reach into the spiritual realm. We enter that realm when we are present in the moment, drinking in the warmth of the bright sunshine, smelling the freshness of the air, savoring the aroma of toast in the morning, relishing good music, or indulging in the good feelings of touch and gentle eye contact.

Of course this sensual side can be distorted. Many of us have been so taken with sensuality that we got lost in it. We corrupted our spirituality with bad judgment or abusive behaviors. Now we are growing into good men who love life and respect the wonders of sex and sensuality. We are learning to be present to all sensations, to the very force of life as we experience it, and as adults we are wisely choosing when to indulge in them heartily.

Today I celebrate all my senses and seek a happy, healthy sexuality.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Life has lessons to teach. We can remember them and share them with others, or we can for-get them and have to learn them again.

~ Jan Pishok ~

What we are destined to learn in this life will keep presenting itself until “contact” has been made. Each experience is a minute part of the big picture that’s unfolding. We will receive the information we need, again and again if necessary. Let’s give up our fear about where we are going and how we’ll get there. We are in caring, capable hands. We will get to the right destination on time.

In this program we are invited to share with other women what our experiences have taught us. What better way to recall, and thus relearn, what we have been taught, than to tell another about it. Every Twelve Step program is specifically designed to simplify our lives. The Steps coach us through every situation, and they never shame us for needing reminders of our lessons.

I will help others through sharing my own experiences today. In the process, I’ll recapture the essence of the lessons I have learned.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I have new priorities

Before recovery I tried to soothe my psychiatric symptoms with chemicals. My first priority was to stop the pain. But instead of dealing with my problems and getting relief, I developed an addiction.

In dual recovery I am setting two different priorities that can help me heal: abstinence from addictive chemicals and stability with my psychiatric illness (regardless of which came first in my life). Both issues need attention, both at the same time, because each affects the other. As I deal with my problems, I will get relief. According to the Promises in the Big Book (p. B3), my "whole attitude and outlook upon life will change," and I will "know a new freedom and a new happiness."

I will make a commitment to dual recovery by continuing to work with professionals (as needed) and by teaming up with a sponsor and a support person, one for each priority.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Time is the school in which we learn,
Time is the fire in which we bum.

~ Delmore Schwartz ~

When our lives were out of control we often tried to bum the candle at both ends, staying up late drinking or drugging and then trying to hold down a job that required us to get up early. When it came to choosing between the two, we often chose our addiction and called in sick the next day. We made other unhealthy choices, too. We often chose our addiction over loved ones, regular meals and exercise, and prayer and meditation.

Now we make new choices. We have the same amount of time we always did, but we seem to get more done, and still have time for relaxation, sleep, and play. We have time for other people, and our Higher Power. As we live our lives in recovery we are discovering something we never expected — that we never stop learning, and that life does get better as we grow older—as long as we grow.

Our time in this life is limited, but when we live lovingly in the present, we make the most of every day, growing in strength, wisdom, and love.

Today help me choose health each moment, and do what needs to be done.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Responsibility’s like a string we can only see the middle of.
Both ends are out of sight.

~ William McFee ~

Dealing with your addiction can oftentimes present itself as a full-time commitment. It requires your diligence to stay clean and sober, to attend meetings, and to honor the responsibilities you have made in the program, such as by being a sponsor to a newcomer.

But sobriety can also present you with great challenges, especially when you have numerous other responsibilities to attend to. If you are a parent, then you need to take care of your children. If you have a partner who is ill, then you need to provide assistance. If you have an elderly parent, then you need to provide care or help with decision making. Added to your family responsibilities are your day-to-day tasks. So it is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed. You may ask, “How can I do it all—and well?”

Sometimes the greatest awakening in the program is realizing how much your addiction has kept your responsibilities in the background. Today presents you with the opportunity to develop greater awareness of these responsibilities so you can begin to address them.

Today I will take stock of those things that need my time, attention, and care. I will develop a greater sense of responsibility to others.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

No one can really pull you up very high—you lose your grip on the rope. But on your own two feet you can climb mountains.

~ Louis Brandeis ~

Depending upon people, places, or things to help us live our lives is a sure setup for disappointment and failure. No one person or geographic location or material item can give us answers. None of them can bring us happiness, security, maturity, or faith.

We have been given everything we need to find our own answers. Although today may have been filled with questions, we can remember now that we have the tools we need.

Our Higher Power has brought people to us who we need to hear. Our path has led us onto a well-traveled road with a foundation of strength. By the Grace of God—and our fellow travelers—we can follow this road to the greatest of heights.

How can I use the resources my Higher power gave me to find my own two feet?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Waking up to life

Even in recovery, it is hard for many of us to avoid old habits that keep us from making the most of our lives. For instance, there is love withheld, people and experiences avoided, dreams ignored. Even avoiding pain diminished the richness of life.

Now that we have taken back our lives, we can practice living more of it. We can make some changes, accept a few challenges, take some risks. There is so much to be gained.

Am I waking up to life?

Higher Power, help me to develop the course to embrace my life and make the most of it.

Today I will live life to the fullest by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

New grief awakens the old.

~ THOMAS FULLER ~

Newcomer

I've just gotten the news that someone I used to know passed away. I feel a little guilty that I wasn't in closer touch, but beyond that, I'm not feeling much of anything right now. I guess I'm numb. That makes me uncomfortable; I don't like thinking of myself as heartless.

Sponsor

Numbness can temporarily follow the death of a person or a relationship, even of a job or some other part of our lives. It doesn't mean that we're hard-hearted, but rather that we're not ready to experience our feelings of loss. You've faced so much loss recently, beginning with the loss of your old relationship with your addiction.

My father died when I was in my twenties, a time when I was active in my various addictions. In spite of the outward motions of mourning, I felt shut down at his funeral and for a long time afterward. Many years later, eighteen months in recovery I woke up one morning weeping, after a vivid dream about him. Once I had finally given in to the awareness of loss and had experienced the depths of my anger and sadness, it was as if I had finally come to life again myself Though my relationship with him had been a conflicted one, I was free to cherish the positive things he had given me and to embrace that part of him in my life today.

The grieving process takes its own time; eventually, we come through it.

Today, I accept where I am in the process of grieving my losses. I don't deny death or refuse to grieve.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In Step Twelve, we learn that we should "try to carry this message to alcoholics" but only after we have "had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps."

Notice, please, that it does not say that we have an "understanding" but it says "spiritual awakening." It takes no English scholar to know the meaning of every one of those two hundred words. A child of ten can grasp what the words actually say, but it is only when we have had this spiritual experience can we understand their full significance.

Only when we have this spiritual experience do we fully possess the Program, and unless we possess it, it is certain that we cannot give it away.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

So My Heart Is Quiet

Lord, I have given up my pride
and turned away from my arrogance.
I am not concerned with great matters
or with subjects too difficult for me.
Instead, I am content and at peace.
As a child lies quietly in its mother's arms,
so my heart is quiet within me.

Psalm 131:1-2

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE TIDE FLOWS IN AND OUT

We do not make our spiritual unfoldment in a steady straight line. Human nature does not work in that way. No one moves upward in a path of unbroken progress to the attainment of perfection. What happens is that we move forward steadily for a while, and then we have a little setback. Then we move forward again, and presently we may have another setback. These setbacks are not important long as the general movement of our lives is forward.

The tide flows in and out. The foremost wave comes in and in, and it seems as though it would never stop until it reached high-water mark—but it does stop, and actually goes back, and if one did not know better he would suppose that that was the end of the matter. But it is not. The tide goes back a little, but not to its old mark, and then it comes on again and this time it makes a higher mark. This mode of progression seems to be general throughout nature.

Do not watch the individual waves but keep you, attention on the tide, and all will be well.

Then he said unto them, Go your way . . . for the joy of the Lord is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Enough Is Better

Who is a happy man? He who is content with his lot.

~ The Talmud ~

My friend Matt owns a small but successful vegetarian restaurant in Maui. Although The Vegan is small and inexpensively decorated, the humble eatery has earned a vast reputation for its quality food prepared with love. When I asked Matt if he had ever thought of expanding, he told me, “A famous movie star who loves my cooking offered to set me up in Hollywood with mega-bucks backing; he was sure this could become the next trendy L.A. restaurant. I told him, 'No thanks, I like it here. I know my customers, I step outside to enjoy the sunset, and my kids do their homework here and play with their friends next door. I make enough to get by; I have no need to move.’”

Matt reminded me that more is not always better, Sometimes enough is better.

In our materialistic society, many of us labor under the illusion that if we only had more stuff, we would be happier. But sometimes more stuff would only make us more unhappy. lf you are not happy with what you have, more stuff is probably not going to fulfill you. The outer world can do no more for you than you are willing to do for yourself through your own attitude.

Since becoming a homeowner, I have learned a lot about stuff. Buying something is not the end of getting it-it is the beginning. If you have something, you have to take care of it, keep it clean, use it, protect it, fix it, and replace it. To own a car, house, or any item is to enter into a committed relationship. lf you expect it to be there for you, you have to be there for it. lf you are willing to make the commitment, dive in. lf not, you may choose to just be happy with what you have.

If it is right for your material world to expand, the universe will arrange it joyfully. If not, you may discover that the sunset is just as beautiful from your backyard as it would be from Hollywood.

Help me to live lightly, use wisely, and remember that spirit is more important than matter.

I have enough because I am enough.

[bluidkiti]

September 24

Step by Step

” …I was convinced that I was having a serious mental breakdown. I wanted help, and I tried to cooperate. As the treatment progressed, I began to get a picture of myself, of the temperament that had caused me so much trouble. I had been hypersensitive, shy, idealistic. My inability to accept the harsh realities of life had resulted in a disillusioned cynic, clothed in a protective armor against the world’s misunderstanding. That armor had turned into prison walls, locking me in loneliness – and fear. All I had left was an iron determination to live my own life in spite of the alien world – and here I was an inwardly frightened, outwardly defiant woman, who desperately needed a prop to keep going.
‘Alcohol was that prop …'” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three, Ch 4 (“Women Suffer Too”), p 226.

Today, with absolute honesty – maybe for the first time – the temperament of my character misguided me to make the choice of alcohol as the prop to shield myself from “the world’s misunderstanding” and all else I wanted to shut out. In shutting out everything, I went to the only place left – within myself. And there lurked the isolation from anything good, and the loss of good leaves only the bad. My choice was to develop and nurture the bad – and it took me to the darkest places of my poisoned emotional and spiritual soul. Today, the temperament of my character can be tempered by the Twelve Steps. Grant me courage and strength to emerge from the bad and look for the good. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

NO SAINTHOOD

Life leads never to perfection but always toward it.

~ James Lane Allen ~

Our friends in the Program repeatedly pound into our heads: "We are not saints." The improvement we make in recovery could easily lead us to believe that we may be approaching sainthood. That idea doesn't last past one honest inventory. Old-timers remind us "Don't try to be a saint by Thursday."

If we believe we are superior because of our success in recovery, we will find ourselves impossible to live with. We seek spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Perfection is impossible for humans to achieve. Our limitations, as well as our potentials, add to our spiritual growth.

Those who have all the answers for themselves and others and reject suggestions or advice are probably headed towards relapse.

One of the best pieces of advice for improving myself and my attitude is "Easy Does It." There really isn't anything beyond the very best I can do.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves.

~ Eric Hoffer ~

Our healing begins within ourselves. We may have deep feelings of low self-esteem. We didn’t grow up believing that we were good. We may carry feelings of guilt for bad choices we made. We may not expect to be loved, and when the love is there, we may not see it for what it is.

That is where we must start our recovery. We must treat ourselves with respect, forgive our wrongs, and accept forgiveness. A good man with strong self-esteem doesn’t think he is without fault or superior to others. He knows that he is a mixture of many qualities, good and bad, as all people are. He doesn’t attack his own nature by calling himself stupid. When we learn to treat ourselves with the respect that our creator has for us, our love and respect are reflected in all of our relationships.

Today I pledge to be respectful and forgiving toward myself.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Time spent attempting to change others affords little time for personal change.

~ Georgette Vickstrom ~

We must be willing to change or we wouldn’t be reading these words right now. However, being willing to change is often easier than doing it. One of the biggest changes most of us need to make is learning to let others be who they are, regardless of who we want them to be. Most of us think our lives would be far smoother and more productive if only other people lived up to our standards. How wrong we are!

If we could change others as we wish, we would live far less enlightened lives. In fact, we discover opportunities for personal development in our interactions with the men and women who frustrate us so. The irony is that we wish they’d change, but if they did, we wouldn’t experience the growth we deserve.

I will enhance my growth today by letting others be who they are and working on myself.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My Twelve Step meeting is becoming my foundation

I stopped using and got sober, but I lost my friends. I wasn't stable yet and I felt like a mess. Often I found myself feeling alone, angry, bored, and sorry for myself. I wondered, How could a Twelve Step meeting help? Nevertheless, I kept going for six weeks—just as the program suggests for newcomers.

And then one day I realized the importance of this meeting. First, I can rely on it like no one and nothing else (holidays included). Second, it offers me fellowship with people who share my experience, who understand me, and who care about me. My meeting is the basis of my recovery program and I am deeply grateful.

To strengthen my commitment to recovery and my program, I will volunteer to do service at my home meeting.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The firmest friendships have been found in mutual adversity, as iron is most strongly united by the fiercest flame.

~ C.C. Colton ~

No one is immune from addiction, or its effects—neither young nor old, rich nor poor, black or white, or yellow or brown. Addiction is an equal opportunity disease. So our fellowship attracts all kinds of people. This doesn’t mean we’ll like everyone who walks through the door, but all of us, because we did walk through that door, have a common bond.

All of us faced the seemingly-impossible task of turning away from active addiction — and all of us chose recovery over death. We all suffered losses we thought we’d never recover from. But in these rooms, with the help of each other and our Higher Power, we do recover. All of us have struggled to combat self-hatred, shame, and crippling guilt. We still struggle, even today, but we fight the battle with help from each other.

Our bond is one of suffering and hope, a spiritual link that is strong enough to carry us for the rest of our lives in recovery. As different as we all are, our fellowship makes us one.

Today help me be grateful for my recovery and the fellowship that has brought me to this place.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It was as if I had worked for years on the wrong side of a tapestry, learning accurately all its lines and figures, yet always missing its color and sheen.

~ Anna Louise Strong ~

In the movie The Blind Side, Leigh Anne Tuohy is a wealthy woman who has welcomed into her home Michael Oher, an impoverished and homeless young man. One of the most poignant scenes occurs when Leigh Anne shows Michael his room. When he says he’s never had one, she assumes he is talking about having his own room. But he tells her it is the first time he has ever had a bed.

For Michael, the way in which the Tuohys live is foreign and quite unfamiliar. In staying with the family, what was once normal for him is transformed into a new normal in which he can thrive and grow.

Similarly, the program offers you a new normal. You unlearn what you have grown accustomed to before you adopt your new way of living. You engage in soul searching and reflection upon your past to let it go. You look at yourself—perhaps for the first time—with a different set of eyes. You acquire new knowledge about how to live without your addiction. And, by seeing things with greater clarity, you move on to a better place in your life.

Today I will embrace the new awareness I have about myself and my addiction.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Worry is most apt to ride you raged not when you are in action, but when the day's work is done. Your imagination can run riot then . . . your mind is like a motor operating without its load.

~ James L. Mursell ~

Each day we may have full-time activities: jobs, school, family, or hobbies. The hours we spend in those activities are usually focused on the tasks at hand. But when they are done and we're left with free time, we may find ourselves cultivating a new interest: worry.

During the day, we are like a train engine. For as long as we stay on the tracks, keeping busy, we move easily. But when the day's activities are done, we are like a derailed engine. The power still makes the wheels spin, but we are going nowhere.

We don’t have to be on full speed, going nowhere, as we fill our minds with worry. When the day's work is done on a railroad, the engines are guided onto sidetracks to cool until morning. Tonight we can guide the engines of our minds onto sidetracks of relaxation and rest. We can cool our activities until morning.

I don't need to fill my mind with worry tonight. I can rest and relax my mind by bringing peace to my heart.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Learning

It seems as if we’re particularly immature, especially in the early stages of recovery. When we were using, we handled all of our problems the same way: When faced with difficult relationships, we used chemicals. When faced with responsibilities, we used chemicals. When faced with life, we used chemicals. Chemicals took the place of learning experiences.

Fortunately, we’re clean and sober now, and we can learn from our problems. We are more mature now that we understand our strengths and weaknesses better, and we know how to work the program to recover.

Am I learning from my experiences?

Higher Power, help me to be strong (enough) to evaluate and learn from my mistakes.

Today I will practice learning by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

There is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it.

~ OVID ~

Newcomer

I have a short trip to make, no more than a few days. I've called ahead about meetings; I haven't forgotten that I can use the tools of recovery whether I'm at home or not. But something seems to fill me with dread whenever I have to go anywhere. It's almost as if I expect to die whenever I leave home overnight.

Sponsor

Some of us have emotional difficulty making any kind of transition. Like you, I used to feel a need to leave my home in what some call "dying condition": closets in order, legal papers in view, no mess for anyone to deal with. A program friend has similar difficulties with transitions, but for a different reason. His childhood was very unstable: the family moved often, and no place was home for long. Today, whether he's packing to leave for a vacation or to return from one, he feels the kind of fear you've described. For years, until he understood the source of his anxiety, he'd somehow manage to involve his spouse in an argument just before they left home. Anger and intensity created a kind of emotional safety net; it let him forget his fear of the transition itself.

In time, you may have more insight into what's causing the feelings you've described. Meanwhile you needn't risk numbing them with an addictive substance or behavior. In times of transition, it's important to stick close to the program, as you have, locating meetings and making phone calls.

Today, I make transitions smoothly by using the tools of the program.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We are all serving a term here on earth, and it is a tough rap for we are not only serving a life term but we are condemned to death in the end. We can set some special privileges for good behavior, however, but even with this it would be a hopeless situation except for the hope held forth in the inspired Book of God.

Through this Book we can look forward beyond this prison of Life and visualize the freedom that is beyond.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Living in the Present

One day at a time,
This is enough.
Do not look back and grieve over the past,
For it is gone . . .
And do not be troubled about the future,
For it has not yet come.
Live in the present, and make it so beautiful
That it will be worth remembering.

~ Author unknown ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

ARE YOU DYNAMIC?

Many people think they would like to be what is called dynamic but it does not appear that they always have a very clear idea of what that expression really means. Aggressive and noisy? Bombastic, in manner?

A dynamic person is one who really makes a difference in the world; who does something that changes things or people. The magnitude of the work done may not be great, but the world is different because that person has lived and worked. The real secret of a dynamic personality is to believe that God works through you, whatever you may be doing; to put His service first, and to be as sincere, practical, and efficient as you know how.

. . . know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind. . . (I Chronicles 28:9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Breathe

In the name of God, stop a moment, close your work, look around you.

~ Leo Tolstoy ~

I placed my baby parrot on my desk while I typed, and when I looked over at her I beheld a sight that moved me deeply. I had set her tiny body on a greeting card envelope with a silver foil on the inside of the exposed rear flap. On the foil I could see the condensation from her wispy breath, forming and dissolving as she inhaled and exhaled. The sight touched me so deeply that I stopped and uttered a prayer of thanks.

The infant bird's breath reminded me that the breath of God moves through all creation. Every living creature draws life from the universe and gives it back. Metaphysically, breath symbolizes the spirit that animates every creature, from the tiniest insect to the great whales to the whole of the cosmos.

Right now, take a few deep breaths. With each inhalation, draw into yourself the wealth of love, and with each outbreath, radiate your life-force back to the universe.

If you feel upset or uptight, stop and breathe deeply. Allow the breath to purify you.

Today, let your breath remind you that you are loved and that you have a purpose. Receive all that life has to offer, and return it magnified.

I accept Your love in the form of inspiration, and give it to the world through my creations.

God loves and breathes through me. I am very holy.

[bluidkiti]

September 25

Step by Step

Today, accept myself first in starting to change the things I can – and must. And to change myself, I need the courage and brute honesty to see myself as I really am and not as I want to see myself and others to see me. If I can be strong and honest enough to see in myself what must go and what can be kept, I have to accept the good and bad before I know how to begin the work of moving forward. But if the bad out-weighs the good, I can keep the good as a building block to tear away the bad. If, on the other hand, I accept myself with no improvements needed, I’ve lied to myself. Today, I pray for the courage to change the things I can – me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

Respect the anonymity of others.

~ Anonymous ~

The spiritual foundation of our Program is anonymity. In the Fellowship we are not Dan the Mechanic, Mary the New Mother, or Linda the Office Manager. We are just Dan, Mary, and Linda. Each one of us has paid a great price to earn our seat around the tables. There is nothing which has cost us so much as our membership in the Fellowship. The miracle of recovery is what occurs within a meeting when we listen to honest stories of changed lives.

We remember that what makes it work for us is the common bond of our addiction. We are to take what we need and leave all that we hear and see at that meeting. When we respect the anonymity of others, we respect our own.

The people who share with me do so to support their own recovery, not to give me information about themselves. When I protect the anonymity of the Fellowship, I protect my own recovery.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

No one can begin to feel better about oneself until brutal self-honesty prevails.

~ Donna Thompson ~

We have sometimes used words to fool ourselves and fool others. We say “I’ll try” when we really don’t want to face a challenge. Or we say “I’ll think about that” when we simply want to avoid talking about something.

Some challenges in life require action. Nothing less will do. Do we say that we will "try” to call our sponsor, or do we call him? Do we “try” to work on a Step for our recovery, or do we work on it? When someone gives us a word of wisdom that we don’t want to hear, do we engage with him, perhaps even tell him it’s hard for us to hear, or do we say “I’ll think about that” just to get him off our back?

Today I will not fool myself. I will use words that admit my truth.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We can trust in the constancy of one thing— time will always move forward, taking us away from the old and gently guiding us to the new.

~ Amy E. Dean ~

It’s human nature to want the pleasurable experiences to last forever and the painful ones to leave immediately. But we can’t move through anything faster than the hands of the clock will allow. A better response to our circumstances, regardless of their flavor, is acceptance that God has put a lesson in them for us and we can’t adequately judge the long-term value of any of our experiences.

Nothing lasts forever. The slogan “This too shall pass” promises us the emotional relief we need when times are hard. Time is our friend, always, even when we don’t like the lesson. We do get what we need, when we need it.

I am on track. What comes to me today is something my Higher Power says I’m ready for. The time is always right.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.

~ Henry Ford ~

How many times have we told ourselves we’re going to do something — exercise, write a letter, paint the house, quit drinking — but never got around to it? Those around us may have been very impressed with our good intentions, happy we had made a decision to do something. But as time went by and we didn’t do anything, they were less and less impressed. Finally our most sincere promises fell on deaf ears. People no longer believed us. And no wonder. Perhaps we, too, stopped believing in our own good intentions. Some of us may have wondered if we’d ever follow through.

But there is good news. Today, we’re not telling ourselves that one of these days we’ll do something about our drinking or using or eating. We’re in recovery. And we’re seeing real progress, real growth in our lives. We’re regaining what we thought was lost forever. We’ve taken the first step toward real, lasting change. In time we’ll find we can make good on our good intentions, and rebuild our trust in ourselves.

Today let me feel grateful for the program. Let me see how it has already helped me change.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I wait for a chance to confer a great favor, and let the I small ones slip; but they tell best in the end, I fancy.

~ Louisa May Alcott ~

No matter the building—from a ranch house to a sprawling mega-mansion to a skyscraper—every structure that Is built to last is made by using a simple piece of string and a weight. Known as a plumb line, this string ensures that construction will take place along a straight line. Without alignment, building materials will not fit together well. Walls will be crooked, the roof line will be uneven, and the structure will not rest firmly upon its foundation. Over time, pressure will build on the un-signed parts, and the structure will either need massive repairs or eventually collapse.

Recovery can be seen in much the same way. If you make huge changes, you may find that you have not built the proper foundation. But if, instead, you concentrate on making small changes, you may find that your larger goals become more within reach. Make more small changes, and your larger goals come ever closer.

There is both wisdom and benefit to following the slogan “Keep it simple.” By thinking about the small differences you can make rather than concentrating on one huge one, you are creating a strong foundation for future growth.

In whatever I do today, I will follow the slogan “Keep it simple.”

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

We should think seriously before we slam doors, before we burn bridges, before we saw off the limb on which we find ourselves sitting.

~ Richard L. Evans ~

Many of us have difficult days. People disappoint us. Events or circumstances upset us. Anger may be our sole feeling at such times. Unfortunately, we may act upon that anger hastily by saying things we later regret, by making shortsighted decisions, or even by slamming a door in someone's face.

Sometimes a slammed door won't open again. Sometimes people we insult or snap at will back off from us. Sometimes decisions we make in anger and haste cannot be changed—or may take considerable time and effort to undo.

Angry moments do not have to erupt into fiery volcanoes. If we learn to sit with our anger awhile until we are calmer and more rational, we can avoid shameful, regretful results. Today's anger does not need to erupt tonight toward any person, place, or thing. Tonight we can let the dust settle and tempers cool while time helps us get things into perspective. We who wait are both wise and mature.

How can I use time to help heal the sores of anger?

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Overcoming strong desire

Desire—especially strong desire—is a kind of mental fever. It seems to put us in a weaker position. There is desire for money, for power, for prestige, and for mood-altering chemicals.

When desire is strong, we operate out of a haze. We lose good judgment. We must never let desire come before our program.

Am I dealing with my strong desires?

Higher Power, help me to let go of any strong desire that might weaken my recovery.

Today I will deal with any of my strong desires by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.

~ FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE ~

Newcomer

I've just had a visit with my family. I knew it might be difficult, but I wanted to go; there was something happening that I wanted to be a part of I knew that it wasn't going to threaten my recovery—no way was I going to pick up my drug of choice. But I was surprised to see how fast my new sense of myself fell apart when I was with them. As soon as I walked through the door, they were asking the old questions, saying what they always say. I felt like their kid again, and not a very happy kid at that.

Sponsor

It sounds as if this visit took a great deal of psychic energy. I'm glad that you were able to be watchful about your recovery. It also sounds as if you have a desire to stay in contact with family, though right now it involves a lot of effort. Over time, you'll probably notice further changes in yourself when you're in their company. Meanwhile, it sounds as if you're not being too hard on yourself, or on them. After a family visit, it's especially important to parent ourselves in nurturing, loving ways.

What we've received from our families may not support our separateness and uniqueness, may not bless us with understanding or unconditional love. Perhaps we've internalized a parent's criticism or withholding and are continuing to experience the effects in our relationships with others or ourselves. Recovery gives us opportunities to identify these patterns and let them go, as we give ourselves unconditional love.

Today, I'm a loving parent to myself.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Everyone is potentially as good as God made him and the reason that he does not show it is because he has buried the fact beneath a mountain of selfishness.

It has ever been man's misdirected efforts to benefit himself and himself alone that have resulted in his greatest disservice to himself.

The closer man gets to himself the further away he is from God and the world. The further he is away from God and the world, the further away he is from God's blessings and the world's happiness.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Am Weak

Lord, I am feeling weak—hear my prayer.
Lord, keep me from turning away from You.
I don't want to go back under.
Let me hear Your voice and feel Your faithful love
I put my trust in You, Lord.
Keep me from my addiction, show me the way.
Teach me Your will.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

ONE THING AT A TIME

The present moment is never intolerable. It is always what is coming in five minutes or five days that makes people despair. The Law of Life is to live in the present, and this applies to both time and place. Keep your attention to the present moment, and in the place where your body is now. Do a fair day’s work, and then stop. Overwork is not productive in the long run.

A friend of mine was visiting a great cathedral in Italy. Just inside the door was a magnificent mosaic extending the width of the building, but not yet completed. It represented the Last Judgment and the number of tiny pieces of different colored marble involved in it staggers the imagination. A man was on his knees working away and my friend, who spoke Italian, whispered to him, “What a stupendous task you have! I could not even dream of undertaking so much work."

The man replied quietly, “Oh, I know about how much I can do comfortably in one day. So each morning I mark out a certain area, and I don't bother my head thinking outside of that space. Before I know where I am the job will be complete."

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself . . . (Matthew 6:34).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Enjoy the Journey

There must be more to life than increasing its speed.

~ Gandhi ~

Years ago, a profound commercial depicted a young black boy in a city ghetto. The now-famous caption reminded viewers, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste." After dealing with my own mind for many years, I would offer this advice: "A mind is a terrible thing to race."

The purpose of the mind is to discover and reflect the truth; it is a sacred tool given to illuminate and expand divine wisdom. If we keep our mind cluttered or racing, we miss the beauty that the mind was intended to reveal.

Stephen Backart poetically describes the way many of us have attempted to get things done: “He flung himself upon his horse and ran madly off in all directions." What is the use of running in any direction unless the journey is in harmony with the destination? I have fantasized about producing a bumper sticker proclaiming "Going nowhere faster will not get you somewhere."

One day after I had moved to Hawaii, I found myself rushing to get to the back before it closed. Driving along a mountain road, I glanced to my left, where I beheld the entire central isthmus of the island, green with sugar cane and bounded by azure oceans on two sides and a verdant mountain range on the other. An inner voice asked, "Is it really worth missing this for the bank?" No, it wasn't worth missing this for anything. One of the most majestic sights on the planet was before me. I could have it all, if I was but willing to breathe long enough to take it in.

The beauty of life is right where you are. Remember to enjoy the journey.

Help me to be alive to this moment and keep peace in my heart.

I walk in balance, ever aware of the presence of love.

[bluidkiti]

September 26

Step by Step

“God willing, we members of AA may never again have to deal with drinking, but we have to deal with sobriety every day. How do we do it? By learning – through practicing the Twelve Steps and through sharing at meetings – how to cope with the problems that we looked to booze to solve, back in our drinking days.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 13 (“AA Taught Him to Handle Sobriety”), p 560.

Today, my higher power’s will and the 12 Steps will steer me from dealing with drinking again because my problem now is not drinking but living sober – living no longer in the problem but being a willing participant in the answer of living sober. In drinking, I experienced the answers that drinking had for me – fear, anger, disgust, regret, loneliness, pain, resentment. In sobriety, the answers aren’t as clear because I either have lived too long in alcoholism or lived most of my life without sobriety. The key to living in the answer instead of the problem is, indeed, the 12 Steps. And if they sometimes lead me to uncertain and even scary places because they are not familiar, I know they cannot be as frightening as the certainty of where drinking will take me again. Today, I choose – because now I have a choice – to live in the solution of sobriety and not in the problem of drinking. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SEEKING BALANCE

Success is living a life that makes a difference. The question to ask is whether or not the world is a better place because of your efforts.

~ Anonymous ~

Most of our errors are small, but they can be very painful. They range from carelessness to excessiveness. The way to a comfortable existence is a balance between overdoing everything and being complacent. Finding a "half-way" point is necessary. Otherwise, we will bounce from self-pity to arrogance.

We understand that growth stops if we cannot make up our minds between being grandiose and sitting on the pity pot. We can be troubled by an excess of love as easily as being filled with hatred. All too often, we may say with regret, "I'm killing them with kindness." Inability to find balance in what life offers us may end in our being hurt or very disappointed. When we think problems and their solutions are black or white, either-or, and this or that, we make impulsive choices between only one or two alternatives. This gets us stuck.

Unless I practice balance, I will find myself in an emotional tug-of-war between extremes.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The Lord created me at the beginning of his work,
The first of his acts of long ago.

~ Proverbs 8:22 ~

All of God’s creation deserves respect. Many of us have felt that we were bad or worthless, or beyond the reach of genuine acceptance. If we believed in God, perhaps we thought we deserved God’s condemnation more than we deserved grace. Today we are reminded that we are part of creation. God is everywhere in creation and within us.

Certainly some of our actions were wrong. Certainly we must be accountable for our bad deeds. But what we do is not who we are. Our deeds are not our spirit. At the core, we are sacred creatures of God. Being accountable is a high and noble thing, and it is one way that we pay respect to ourselves and our God.

Today I will respect myself as part of God’s work.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I used to lament, “I’m drowning in a sea of apathy!” Now I rejoice in real emotion—mine, yours, all of ours.

~ DMG ~

Many of us were used to shutting down our feelings. We gladly used whatever “medication” was at our disposal: alcohol, pills, even food. We weren’t fussy. But emotions need to be acknowledged, so ours never really went away, even though we refused to feel them. They hid. Now they are back.

Handling anger, sadness, fear, and even joy takes patience. Feelings indicate what we are thinking. They aren’t necessarily good or bad, but they do influence our actions. Being aware of them, and understanding that they are within our control, helps us accept them, understand them, absorb them, release them. Feelings let us know that we care, that we’re alive and aware of the others in our lives. Let’s use our feelings, not hide them away or let them use us.

I prefer joy, but I will acknowledge every feeling that surfaces today. My feelings mirror my thoughts.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

To me, spirituality is taking a bath while reading People Magazine.

~ Laura Davis ~

Feeding our spirit can be an adventure in originality. There are no rules that tell us where and how to meet our deepest spiritual needs. God can be found in a rainstorm, supermarket, or temple. Perhaps an ability to slow down lays the foundation for grace and fulfillment.

Our God seems to be closest to us when we relax and let ourselves, other people, and life, be. Stress and worry can block our spiritual channels. What a wonderful opportunity to find ways to relax with a deep “let go,” opening us up to layers of peace and renewal.

When we have trouble with our spiritual connection, perhaps we need to look for God in everyday life, even in relaxation and fun.

Today let me look for my Higher Power in new places.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction.

~ Erich Fromm ~

Once there was a greedy boy who wanted the biggest of everything. One evening his mother prepared two dinners: one with enormous portions and one with average-sized portions. She purposefully cooked the larger portions so they were not as tasty as the smaller ones.

When it came time to eat, the boy saw the biggest slice of meat and requested it. He asked for the biggest baked potato and the biggest ear of corn. His parents began to eat their small but very tasty portions. But the boy’s meal was thick and tough. His potato was cold in the middle. And his ear of com had hard kernels. When it came time for dessert, the boy picked the biggest piece of chocolate cake. But the cake was dry and tasteless, and the boy went unsatisfied.

Most people equate greed with money and material objects. But greed can also reflect an insatiable hunger—for love, appreciation, attention, or success. While it is okay to hope and pray for change in recovery, it is not appropriate to want more than others have, to make demands, or to take from others in order to get more for you. There is no room for greed in recovery.

Today I will appreciate all that I have been given.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I will not meddle with that which I cannot mend.

~ Thomas Fuller ~

Sometimes we can effect change. Speaking up about something, suggesting an improvement, or learning a new skill can bring about a longed-for change. But we have to change ourselves first, not anyone, anywhere, or anyplace else.

We can take a moment now to think of those people or things we tried to change today. Then we can resolve not to keep trying to cause change or keep wishing things could change. If a button falls off our shirt, we can pick up a needle and thread and sew it back on. But if we see someone on the street without a button, we can’t change that situation. By looking to ourselves and mending our own fences, we won't so likely try to mend the fences of others.

Tonight I can think of people, places, and things I cannot change. Then I can resolve to leave them alone and work on me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being open to new ideas

Some of us get stuck in the past, in tradition. While there is great wisdom in all who have come before us, that’s not all there is. Even if we believe that there are no new ideas, new writers can help us because they understand our culture, they speak our language.

Consider this: At one time—perhaps recently—the Twelve Step program was a new idea to us.

Can I be receptive to new ideas?

Higher Power, help me see that I will be happier and progress faster if I stay open and flexible in my thinking.

To stay open in my thinking today, I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

i found god in myself and i loved her
i Loved her fiercely.

~ NTOZAKE SHANCE ~

Newcomer

I'm beginning to feel less afraid of people. I'm beginning to think that there's a place for me in this world.

Sponsor

Our journey through Steps Four through Nine makes clear to us that we've had a significant impact on the people we've encountered in our lives. Some of us view this information in its most negative light, focusing only on the need to acknowledge and amend any harm we've done. But there's a further way to experience this information. Our ability to have an effect on others' lives means that we can have a positive effect as well.

For many of us in recovery, finding our own voice has been a lifelong issue. Who are we? What do we have to say? Does anything about us make a difference in the world? Active addiction, fear, low self-esteem, and paralyzing anger have kept us from actively exploring these questions.

Recovery gives us the opportunity to "stake a claim" in the world without the fear of being crushed. We're here. Something inside us has begun to feel solid and sure. We're entitled to be here, to have desires, to have a voice.

Today, I am willing to take up space in the world. I am willing to be seen and heard.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Famous Last Words: "If I had one more drink I could cut off." "Lord, get me out this one and I'll never touch another drop." "A glass of beer won't hurt me." "I'm sober, ain't I, I don't need the meetings." The list is too long to go on.

We constantly sell ourselves a phony bill of goods and then cry our eyes out when we find we have gypped ourselves, but it wasn't our fault, understand? If the wife hadn't, if the boss hadn't, if, if...

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Humble, Open-Minded, Willing

Into Your hands, O Lord, I praise this joy,
this sorrow, this problem, this decision.
Into Your hands I praise each moment as it comes,
each event You send to me.
Into Your hands I put this thing I have to do
or suffer.
Into Your hands this love, this responsibility.
Into Your hands this weakness, this defect, this
failure, this wrong thing that I have done.
And so, finally, into Your hands I place my life as
a whole, all that I am; be it done according to
Your will.

~ Author unknown ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE THREE GIF|S

In the old fairy tales we were often told that when a little prince was born the fairies came to the christening with gifts. One is tempted to ask what gifts we would choose for ourselves if we had the ordering of such matters. What are the three best gifts that a child could be born with?

I suggest the following three: a good constitution, a good disposition, and horse sense. I think that a child endowed with these three qualities would have very few difficulties to meet in life.

I put a good constitution first because health is the greatest of all human blessings. On the other hand, people do not always realize how much difference a good disposition makes in oiling the wheels of everyday life. Finally, plain sense. I believe that horse sense, as it is called, is more important than the possession of any kind of mere ability or even great talents. We have all known men and women of the utmost brilliance, who apparently had every gift for success in life, but who, owing to a lack of simple, plain sense, came to shipwreck.

Now, supposing you feel that you were not endowed with one or any of these gifts, what can you do? Well, the Jesus Christ teaching tells us that no good thing for which we pray is withheld. If you want any of the above gifts for yourself, pray for it each day, by claiming it; and build it into your character by acting the part in every circumstance that arises.

. . . What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them (Mark 11:24).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

My Other Whole

True friendship can occur only among equals.

~ Plato ~

While waiting to be seated at a restaurant, I overheard a customer tell the maître d', "My other half will be here in just a minute." It seems to me that we diminish ourselves by defining ourselves as "a half" when we are in a relationship. Perhaps that is why so many of us have had difficulty maintaining our whole self in a relationship; how can we remember who we are when we trade our wholeness for halfness?

Relationships are multiplicative, not additive. lf you believe that you are less than whole and you look for someone else to make you whole, you will only lose, for your premise is faulty. One-half times one-half makes one-quarter, and you end up being even less than when you started. lf you bring yourself as a whole person to another whole person, one times one is still one, and you both remain whole as individuals and as a couple.

Most popular songs in our culture keep us small and needy. Nearly every "love" song bemoans our loneliness, wrings our hands over lost love, or celebrates finding the person who finally completes us. Rarely do we hear about whole persons who join with other whole persons to celebrate the riches we already own.

Good relationships are built on two individuals walking side by side to the light. The other person is not the object of our happiness, but a partner in adventure. We do not need these other people, but we can certainly enjoy them. They do not have the power to give or take away our good, but they can add depth, color, beauty, reward, and delight to our life. We love them not because they rescue us from the abomination we are, but because they remind us how beautiful we are. In such a golden consciousness, it would constitute blasphemy to define either of us as half, and sacred to acknowledge both of us as reflections of a complete God.

Help me to remember and honor my wholeness and that of my partner.

True love makes me stronger as I share it.

[bluidkiti]

September 27

Step by Step

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation." - Herbert Spencer

" ...(A)ny alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.
"We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, "Spiritual Experience," p 570.

Today, to close my mind to the possibility of a power greater than myself is equivalent to self-absorption and, as such, my recovery program predictably will fail. Not only does a program that focuses on my wants and needs trample the 12th Step to help the alcoholic who still suffers, it is destined for failure. There is humility and gain in service to others if for no other reason than the possibility that higher power exists and can pull me from inside myself and heed the lessons of other alcoholics. In the process, I may learn that what I think is the enormity of my problems is minuscule against the problems of others. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SPOT CHECKS

I'm slipping when I shrink from self-examination

~ Anonymous ~

Working our Program smooths our path to a new way of life. We must keep following the simple instructions outlined in the Steps. One of these is to continue to take a personal inventory and whenever we are wrong, promptly admit it.

When we do this Step each day, mole-hills don't become mountains. If we don't continue with spot-check inventories, we allow garbage to build up once again in our lives. We've seen that a buildup of resentment and guilt can lead to trouble. Stinking thinking thrives on this garbage. If we shrink from self-examination, fear creeps back into our lives. Fear pushes out faith. Without faith we lose our recovery.

My daily spot-check inventory is one of the important things that keeps my Program working.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The heart forms itself according to what it loves.

~ Theresa Cerhardinger ~

All great spiritual traditions speak to us about our desires and how we manage them. Their universal wisdom tells us that our handling of our yearnings and attachments affects the kind of person we become. For us addicts and codependents this has special meaning. We may have fallen in love with alcohol, or a drug, or another behavior. As codependents, we also become so committed to the care and control of others that we never develop our own spirit. One man said that alcoholism, at its core, is man’s search for God. Of course, that answer is a false hope that leads to death, not life.

The Twelve Steps sprang up as a practical path showing the way to face up to our desires and not be ruled by them. It isn’t easy, but it’s a challenge with human proportions. It’s not something we do once and have it over with. Our lives and our hearts are shaped on a daily basis over time by what we choose to love.

Today I am grateful for my freedom to love the people and the things that give life.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I alone can do it. But I can’t do it alone.

~ Anonymous ~

We’re the luckiest women alive because we don’t have to do anything alone! Whether we have a new assignment to tackle, a new relationship to cultivate, a new boss to please, we’ll never fail as long as we rely on the program, our sponsors, and our Higher Power.

That doesn’t mean we won’t have trying times and some failures. But the companionship we need for handling the difficult periods will never be denied us. Perhaps we think it will. Maybe that’s why we try to do too much alone.

We didn’t end up in this Twelve Step program as the result of living peaceful, productive lives. We’re here because we got scared. Our lives weren’t working. And they won’t work now if we insist on doing it alone. This is our second chance. Let’s take it.
I will seek the support I need from friends and God today. I’ll have a good day because of this.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am not "crazy"; I have a dual disorder

When I experience symptoms of my psychiatric illness, I feel embarrassed or ashamed—much as with my addiction. I don't want to see anyone or be seen. Often I feel misunderstood and rejected as well. Yet what I need is to feel accepted and understood.

I am not certain what the word crazy means to anyone else, but I cannot accept the term. I will not be called "crazy." I am a person who experiences two no-fault illnesses, addiction and psychiatric illness. But first, I am a person—like everyone else.

I can become an advocate for myself and others with psychiatric or emotional illnesses, and do something like joining the local chapter of the Alliance for the Mentally Ill.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

What man has made, man can change.

~ Fred M. Vinson ~

Sometimes we find ourselves wanting things to be different right away. When that doesn’t happen, we may feel angry and upset that our needs are not being met, our wishes not fulfilled.

Now we’re learning that change doesn’t come from outside us, but from within. When we’re looking for kindness and compassion, we must find it first in our own hearts. When we need order and discipline in our lives, we need to find them within ourselves.

In the beginning, taking such an active role may seem strange to us. But in time we come to relish changing our own lives for the better instead of waiting for change to happen. Our Higher Power is always waiting to grant us comfort and support. New things are there for us to learn. Our Twelve Step fellowship has advice, friendship, and love for the asking. We have the time and the tools to rebuild our physical strength.

We are not alone. And we are not helpless. We’re learning to look forward to a new and exciting way of life — one day at a time.

Today help me remember to help myself.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

When we blame ourselves we feel no one else has a right I to blame us.

~ Oscar Wilde ~

The origin of the word scapegoat can be traced back to ancient times. On the Day of Atonement, people would confess their sins to a holy man, who would then touch the head of a goat and recount the people’s sins. Then the goat would be driven off, symbolically taking with it all of the sins of the people and thus releasing them from their past transgressions.

Similarly, if you approach the action of making amends with the expectation that you will be forgiven once you oily you are sorry, then you may be sorely disappointed. 'There may be people you have harmed who will not let you speak to them. Even if they do, they may not be able to forgive you or even accept your apology.

Sometimes no amount of restitution can right a wrong. Hut rather than continue to heap more blame upon yourself or slip back into bad behaviors, you need to forgive yourself. Just coming to the realization of the harm you have caused another is the first step to being able to release your “goat” into the wilderness.

Even if others will not accept my amends, I will forgive myself for my past transgressions.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You who are letting miserable misunderstandings run on from year to year, meaning to clear them up some day . . . if you could only know and see and feel all of a sudden that time is short, how it would breath the spell!

~ Phillips Brook ~

The story of the Hatfields and the McCoys is an intense lesson in unforgiveness. Generation after generation honored a long-standing feud. After a while, no one was quite sure how it all started. What seemed more important was how to continue it.

Are there people in our lives toward whom we feel bitterness or hatred? Why? Do we remember why our gripe with them started? Does it really matter now? What are the benefits of hanging on to feelings of unforgiveness?

It takes so much energy to remain cold and aloof to those people. We can be feeling relaxed and at peace until they walk into a room. Tonight we can ask ourselves if honoring a long-standing feud is wise or just willful.

Am I holding on to feelings of anger or bitterness when it would be wiser to forgive and let go? Tonight I can make a wise choice for my course of action.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Thinking positively

Because of our history with alcohol and other drugs, it’s probably a lot easier for us— or a lot more familiar—to think about the negative, to think about our problems, about what’s wrong with us or the world. It’s pretty easy for negative thoughts to lead to more negative thoughts; it’s a lot harder for negative thoughts to lead to positive thoughts. Of course, change is not easy.

Let’s not be too simplistic about this, but having an upbeat attitude—thinking positive thoughts—really does help. As tough as it is to do sometimes, if we can concentrate on what’s working for us, or what small but helpful change we made the other day, things will get better.

Can I think positively (even when I don’t feel all that positive)?

Higher Power, help me to see more of the light instead of—so often—the dark.

I will focus on the positive today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

It is . . . crucial to claim the good in our lives at an experiential feeling level so that we can become comfortable with it and feel drawn toward accepting and creating more good.

~ TIAN DAYTON ~

Newcomer

Someone at a meeting announced that today was her nine-month anniversary. People applauded. I thought that we only clapped for ninety days, or for one year or more.

Sponsor

In early recovery, I was uncomfortable with many group customs. I didn't understand some of them, and I felt a mixture of envy and resentment at being (as I saw it) left out. The problem was mine. I can feel upset by unpredictable behavior or small changes in routine, perhaps because I want to think that I have some control over what's happening in my life.

Customs vary from region to region, group to group, and may take some getting used to. Some groups mark many more milestones in recovery than others. Some hand out commemorative chips. Some present anniversary cakes and medallions, and invite the celebrant or a sponsor or program friend to speak. Ali of these customs are ways to share with each other the news that the miracle of continuing recovery is possible. Our applause celebrates all of us and our shared commitment.

How wonderful that this woman wanted to mark today as special. She deserves our congratulations and thanks. We don't reach anniversaries without each other's help.

Today, I join in celebrating recovery, my own and others. We are all miracles!

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

For us alcoholics, the First Step in life was the usual toddle of the infant. The Second Step we learned to walk erect like a man, the Third Step, we started to run to keep up with the world, the Fourth Step we were staggering, the Fifth Step was stumbling and falling, and the Twelfth Step found us erect again.

What happened between the Fifth Step when we fell and the Twelfth Step? Don't ask me, I'm an alcoholic too, I had probably just blacked out. Watch your steps—they take you places.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

At Night

Day is done;
Gone the sun
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky.
May I safely rest,
For all is well!
God is near.

~ Author unknown ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

LION INTO DONKEY

The one great enemy of the human race is fear. The less fear you have, the more health and harmony you will have. The only real problem of mankind is to get rid of fear. When you really do not fear a situation it cannot hurt you. Of course, you must remember that fear often exists in the subconscious mind without your necessarily being aware of it. The great thing to remember is that fear is a bluffer. Call its bluff, and it collapses.

An amusing incident happened in Holland a number of years ago. A lion escaped from a traveling circus. Not far away a good housewife was sewing near the open window of her living room. The animal suddenly sprang in, dashed by her like a flash, rushed into the hall, and took refuge in the triangular cupboard under the staircase. The startled woman supposed it to be a donkey and, indignant at the muddy prints it left on her clean floor, pursued it into the dark closet among the brooms and pans, and proceeded to thrash it unmercifully with a broom. The animal shook with terror and the angry woman redoubled the force of her blows. Then four men arrived with guns and nets and recaptured the animal. The terrified lion gave himself up quietly, only too glad to escape from that dreadful woman.

When the woman discovered that she had been beating a lion, she fainted away.

This story illustrates perfectly the demoralizing power of fear. Our good housewife completely dominated the lion as long as she thought he was a donkey, and as long as she treated him as a donkey the lion was in abject fear of her. When she discovered her mistake, the old race fear came back and she still reacted in accordance with the race tradition.

. . . He that feareth is not made perfect in love (I John 4:18).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Real Authority

You have no power except what is given you by my heavenly Father.

~ Jesus Christ, to Pontius Pilate ~

I had a landlord in whose presence I felt intimidated. Whenever we interacted, I felt small, defensive, and apologetic. My roommate observed, "Whenever you talk to Martin, you become a little boy; you give your power away to him." Stunned by this accurate assessment, I began to consciously hold my peace and power in Martin's presence. Eventually, I even enjoyed him. We hurt ourselves when we ascribe undue power to another human being. While landlords, police officers, doctors, and attorneys have the authority of their roles, they do not have authority over your spirit. Although we occupy worldly positions, we are all equal spiritually.

The words authority and authentic are derived from the same root word. When you are authentic, you proceed from the deepest place of empowerment within you, and your words and actions bear the most effective results. When you do not act authentically, you are not effective because you are moving from a place of fear or emptiness.

The Bible tells us that the people respected Jesus because "he spoke with authority." When we tap into our divinity, the true author, God, authorizes us to be authentic and, thus, we bear the highest and only authority.

Let me not hide my true power under a cloak of smallness or unworthiness.

Everyone is my equal in divine strength.

[bluidkiti]

September 28

Step by Step

“1. – Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. AA must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close afterward.” – The First Tradition (long form), Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, “The Twelve Traditions,” p 565.

Today, understand and respect the first tradition of AA, that I am not first and foremost and that my own sobriety and recovery contribute to the effectiveness of the program as a whole. The sobriety and acceptance for which I have worked are not solely mine but mirror AA’s credibility – be it in the eyes of a newcomer or the public and various professional organizations. Because of that responsibility, understand also that the sobriety I have carries a responsibility to it. My responsibility to my sobriety, then, boils down to being in service as the first tradition dictates. If I can effectively serve, I may be contributing to my own welfare which, as the first tradition states, comes a close second. Today, my sobriety is not my own and is part of everyone else’s, and I am responsible to work for continued recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EXPERIENCE

Trust one who has gone through it.

~ Virgil ~

Non-members can be experienced and very helpful in treating addictions and helping us in recovery, but it is very important for us to learn from others in the Program.

There is no way to fool another addict. Trust is born when newcomers find they are being helped by another person who has gone through what they are going through. Hope is born when they see that member living a sane and manageable life.

Through the Fellowship, we are not alone when we face the problems of recovery. Those who have been in the Program for years and who are enjoying quality sobriety are always close with advice and aid. We trust them because we know that they know. Sometimes we also need to be with our fellow travelers just so we can laugh, play, and be with people.

If they can do it, so can I. I am wise to hang around those who know from experience.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Never look down to test the ground before taking the next step; only be who keeps his eyes fixed on the Jar horizon will find his right road.

~ Dag Hammarskjold ~

When we first learned to drive, we had to develop the skill of fixing our eyes far down the highway rather than immediately in front of the car. In our lives, we also need the bigger picture. When we were caught in our pursuit of immediate gratification and crisis management, we didn’t have time to look at where it was all leading.

Now we have a better idea of what our bigger goals are. Larger values guide our choices; we no longer focus only on immediate relief or satisfying today’s appetites. Naming our goals and our deepest values gives us the guidance to steer our course smoothly and become the kind of man we want to be.

Today I will name goals and values; and they will

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I’ve finally realized that it’s not happiness we should search for in this life, but the ability to survive life’s stresses.

~ Kay Lovatt ~

We deserve happiness, but focusing on personal happiness as our sole purpose gives us only fleeting satisfaction. Sponsors and friends remind us that helping others find joy and love gives us more lasting happiness than all the selfish pursuits that attract us can give.

Our periods of happiness are interspersed with the struggles that come with being human. We might have thought that getting clean and sober would eliminate all our problems, but fortunately that’s not the case. Problems, after all, offer us opportunities to rely on God’s guidance and comfort, and that’s the key lesson most of us need to learn.

Twelve Step programs are changing millions of lives. Those of us who rely on them are learning to give to God the “work” that belongs to God, keeping for ourselves only what needs to be done by us.

I will not be given anything I can’t handle today if I let God help me.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to stay willing

When I finally realized I had to stop using, I knew it would be tough. I didn't want to stop. What would I do when I had symptoms? What would I do with my time? (I felt empty just thinking about it.) Giving up using felt like losing a friend (and I had so few). I thought, Haven't I had enough losses? Can I handle more pain and change?

Yet using drugs and alcohol kept getting me into trouble and it kept me sick. And I was finally tired of being sick. Quitting chemicals let my meds work better-as my therapist always said it would-and I felt better. I see now how much it has helped to accept my problem, trust my helpers, and make this critical change.

I will pray for the willingness to continue accepting my addiction and. working my program to stay abstinent.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Sometimes when I’m struggling with a problem,
I have to do something else to clear my mind.

~ Anna S. ~

Tossing and turning, wrestling with a problem, can be a dead-end street. Sometimes it’s better to admit our powerlessness and do something different. We can listen to music, read a book, exercise, watch television, take a walk, pray or meditate.

Remembering that we’re powerless can help with day-to-day problems, too. We’re powerless over other people’s behavior and over their reactions to us, powerless over the weather, the day of the week, the year, the time the sun rises and sets.

We’re powerless over just about everything except ourselves. Tossing and turning, demanding we come up with a solution, is the same self-will we struggled with during addiction. And this self-will is just as dangerous with little problems as it was during our active addiction.

But we have new choices now. Thanks to our recovery program, we can turn our thoughts and energies over to our Higher Power and our Twelve Step program. We can let go with trust and serenity.

Today give me the strength to let go. Grant me the sense to know when enough is enough.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The things people discard tell more about them than the things they keep.

~ Hilda Lawrence ~

Writers are known for a particular genre, athletes by the sport they play, actors for the roles they choose. Some-times the nonfiction author wants to write fiction, the basketball player wants to play baseball, the comedic actor wants to play a serious role. With an already established identity, creating a new one requires others to accept a different way of defining someone.

You have similarly been pigeonholed by the identity you established in the past. The people in your life who knew you as someone who had a problem with alcohol or drugs may have a difficult time accepting you as a recovering addict. They may have a hard time with the “new you”—a person who is clean and sober, someone who no longer erupts in anger, and someone who is honest, respectful, and responsible.

Rather than strive to work harder to convince those who have pigeonholed you into your past identity to accept who you are now, what is most important is that you are able to let go of how you defined yourself in the past, There are those in the fellowship who see and accept you as you are now.

I am proud of who I am now, even if there are others who cannot let go of who I was in the past.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When you have shut the doors and darkened your room, remember never to say that you are alone; for God is within, and your genius is within, and what need have they of light to see what you are doing?

~ Epictetus ~

As adults we may feel very secretive about the ways in which we fall asleep. Some of us may have a night-light in our room, fall asleep to music, or tightly hug a stuffed animal. Each of these ways is designed to make us feel safer—less alone in the dark.

None of us is ever alone, especially at night. The methods we use to fall asleep peacefully are good, but we need to remember there are always three angels that guard our sleep.

The first angel is our Higher Power. The second is the positive side of our minds that believes in us. The third is the gentle, hopeful spirit within. Whether we know they are there during the day isn't as important as knowing they are there at night. We are at peace in our sleep because they are there to watch over us.

I know I'm never alone at night. My three angels are watching over me. I'm safe tonight and every night.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Keeping the faith

For many of us, the spiritual crisis of addiction probably meant an overwhelming loss of faith in ourselves and the world.

But in recovery we see that life becomes a lot easier with faith in a Higher Power. For example, failure, loss, and death are no less painful, but with a Higher Power, we don’t feel quite as alone, we don’t feel as if we’ve lost everything. With faith, things seem to have more meaning.

Am I keeping the faith?

Higher Power, help me to accept my spiritual doubts and still carry on.

I will strengthen my faith today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow.

~ JOTIANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE ~

Newcomer

I went to an anniversary meeting and heard people with five, ten, and even—I couldn't believe it—twenty-seven years in recovery. They all seemed so together and sure of themselves. I wish I had their secret for serenity. I wish I could put my hand up and say, "I have nine years today," instead of nine months.

Sponsor

I hope that I'll be sitting in the room when you raise your hand to announce nine years of recovery. Today I want to congratulate you for your nine months: it's a significant length of time. Anyone who puts that kind of time together is acting "against the grain": it's more natural for an alcoholic to drink, an overeater to eat compulsively, or a gambler to gamble than for any of us to stay sober or abstinent.

I can guarantee that every one of those people celebrating an anniversary of several years was once at a place in recovery that closely resembles your own. All of us have come through fear, doubt, anger, and discouragement. All of us have grown in faith, trust, humor, and confidence. There's no "fast track"; there are no secret solutions. We don't come into this program already knowing how to live a sober life. Everything we have was given to us’

I have a future in recovery; it holds more than I know or hope for today.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We have all had the pleasure of knowing intimately several men who might be classed as "Gentlemen of Leisure" and what a squirrel cage they were usually in. They labored all night long to get in jams that required a staff of lawyers all the next day to extricate them.

It takes a big man to make effective use of leisure.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Faith Works

God, help me look beyond material things
And place my faith in the unseen.
For faith saves me from despair
For faith saves me from worry and care
For faith brings peace beyond all understanding
For faith brings me all the strength I need
For faith gives me a new vital power
And a wonderful peace and serenity.

~ Adapted from Twenty-Four Hours a Day, May 18 ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE HIDDEN STUDIO

We are all engaged in building our consciousness during every waking hour. This work is invisible, silent, and consequently overlooked by the bulk of mankind. Nevertheless, it is the most fundamental and the most far-reaching activity in life. Hour by hour, and moment by moment, we are building good or evil, failure or success, happiness or suffering into our life by the ideas that we harbor, the beliefs that we accept, the scenes and events that we rehearse in the hidden studio of the mind. This fateful edifice, upon the construction of which we are perpetually engaged, is nothing less than our self—our personality our identity on this earth, our very life story as a human being.

That wondrous building the spiritual consciousness, is called in the Bible the Temple of Solomon, and we are told two wonderful things about that building. It was built without any noise (and we know that thought is soundless), and it was built upon a rock.

And the house, when it was in building, was built of stone made ready before it was brought thither; so that there was neither hammer nor axe nor any tool of iron heard in the house, while it was in building (1 Kings 6:7).

. . . be thou my strong rock, for a house of defense to save me (Psalm
31:2).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Lighten Up

Lift is too important to be taken seriously.

~ Oscar Wilde ~

The crowd was packed into the huge lecture hall, eagerly awaiting the arrival of the renowned guru, Swami Satchidananda. His saffron- robed devotees and the secular onlookers maintained a sense of reverence and expectancy. Suddenly, the rear door of the auditorium opened, and there appeared the dark-skinned sage with sparkling eyes and a long white beard. All rose, his disciples bowed, and the yogi was ushered to his plush chair onstage, surrounded by many flowers. The swami took his place, folded his legs into lotus position, closed his eyes, and meditated for a few minutes. Then he opened his eyes and began to speak the long-awaited pearls of wisdom. “This microphone looks like a big cigar in my mouth!" he uttered, and the audience broke into peals of laughter.

The surest signs of enlightenment are joy and laughter. While many of us have approached the spiritual path with great sobriety, it is more accurately a path of play and celebration.

A Course in Miracles tells us that "the separation occurred when the son of God [and all of us] forgot to laugh." If you cannot laugh about something, you are not healed with that experience. Psychologists note that one of the clearest symptoms of psychosis is an absence of a sense of humor; when we lose our ability to laugh, we go a little crazy.

Cultivate laughter as a way of life. To see the humor in a situation is to find a divine viewing point. Laugh often and deeply; it’s the best therapy.

Help me to keep my sense of humor; let me remember that nothing is too important.

I laugh at life and at myself I lighten my life with celebration and play.

[bluidkiti]

September 29

Step by Step

"12. - ...(W)e of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, "The Twelve Traditions" (long form), pp 567-68.

Today, Traditions 9-12, that anonymity of all those in the program is a principle rather than a courtesy. If we can understand that a principle is an ethic that governs AA, any personal grievances we have become insignificant and futile in the goal of our individual recoveries and the effectiveness of the program as a whole. As the 12th Tradition promises, anonymity has the spiritual power for us to be hungry for "genuine humility," or our desire to know and carry out the will of our higher power as we understand Him and not our will. Today, I renew my commitment to respect the 12th Tradition and all others as AA's code of ethics. In the process, God granting, may I know the humility of the principle of anonymity and, maybe more, develop a higher sense of responsibility to my sobriety. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

DEPRESSIONS

Don't look down unless you plan on staying there.

~ Anonymous ~

Depressions and setbacks are a part of life for us even when we are solidly active in our Program. We were told early that an addict's highs are always higher than the ordinary and their lows lower. When things begin going wrong (and the law of averages predicts that things will), we can feel depressed even when we compare these lows with the good feelings we experience when we grow spiritually.

At times of depression, we can find relief and change our attitude by entering into the caring and sharing of our Program. It is certain that we can never overcome our down times alone and without help. We always remind ourselves that depressions will not fade unless we have the help of others, sometimes professional help. Many are also helped with the blues when they get out of themselves and help others.

To handle my depressions and low points, I need the help of my friends in the Program. I can't do it alone.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.

~ Henry David Thoreau ~

Growth and development never happens in a straight line. Events may surprise and challenge us. A man thinks he is on a path to success and suddenly loses his job. A student takes a challenging class and fails an important test. A professional truck driver is involved in a serious accident. These events that fall into our lives are horrible things to deal with. Yet we have to respond to them. They show us the edge of what we know and force us to push further.

It is always the lost feeling that opens us up to grow and learn. When we are lost, it is in finding ourselves again that we grow deeper.

Today I accept the challenges I face because I have no other option, and I will use them to shape my growth in a positive direction.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

It is the long stretch of time that gives us our viewpoint.

~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~

In the heat of an experience, our emotions own us. Hurt feelings, anger, or fear pushes away the rational explanation of what occurred. It’s often not until hours or maybe days later that we understand the dynamics of that moment.

Wishing we could gather all the facts immediately is understandable. It might save us from losing control of our emotions. But learning to step back before responding to an experience takes discipline.

Hindsight is perhaps our best teaching tool. We can review the past and see how every experience, even the most painful, has added to our development. Trusting that the same will be true of whatever appears on our horizon today relieves us of the need to worry and overreact. Since we know we’ll understand in due time, let’s relax now.

I remember some difficult periods that benefited me. If something troubles me today, perhaps I can trust that it, too, is for my good.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I lose control when I use

I realize now that when I use, I forget to take my meds and go to support group meetings. Sometimes I even forget to eat or go to work. Basically I don't seem to care what happens to me. I don't like myself. When I use, my psychiatric illness often gets worse. I'm glad I've stopped using again, and this time I want to stay stopped.

I used to think that drugs and alcohol were the only way I could survive. I thought I could use and still manage my life. But I can't. Using only makes me sicker. When I'm using, I'm not taking care of myself. I see now how powerless I am over my addiction. I want to stay abstinent. I think I can.

I will ash my support group and my therapist for help in staying clean and sober.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The best way to forget a problem is to learn something.

~ T.H. White ~

Boredom can be a real problem in recovery. We may spend too much time thinking about our-selves and not enough time thinking about other things. A whole world of knowledge is there for us, ours for the taking.

A 77-year-old man told a meeting he’d recently taken up painting with watercolors. He’d never touched a brush before in his life, but thought it might be fun. He got some inexpensive paper, borrowed a few books from the library, and gave it a try. Every sunny morning he went to the park and painted pigeons or squirrels, people walking by, or trees, thoroughly enjoying himself. He soon discovered he could have the time of his life doing something new, learning as he went.

That man knew an important secret about life. When we’re feeling down or depressed, feeling that our lives are worn out and over, we can do something different, try something new, learn something, take a chance. Our minds brought us this far in recovery, and a whole world is there for us, if only we reach out for it.

Today help me remember all my choices and take advantage of all that life has to offer.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

You receive through the same door through which you give.
The way to receive freely is to give freely.

~ Brad Jensen ~

While you know the value of service and giving to others, you may feel as if you have very little to give. Because you live paycheck-to-paycheck, there may be no money you can give to charity. Because every minute of your day is filled with obligations, there may be no time you can devote to a worthwhile cause. Because you are immersed In your recovery, there may be no energy left to assist others. Even if these are your circumstances, there are a number of ways to give to others that may benefit you as well:

• Give out five hugs a day. A hug costs nothing. In giving someone a hug, you also receive one in return.

• Give someone five minutes of your time. Even if you i are a perpetually busy person, giving someone f your attention for five minutes will not throw your entire day out of whack.

• Offer to help someone with a problem. By offering to I listen to what someone else is experiencing, you may find solutions that can help you work through a similar situation in your life.

I can be a giving person even though I may have little. I have more to give to others than I think.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

~ Soren Kierhegaard ~

One of Mark Twain's most interesting writings states we should live life backwards from the age of eighty to the time we were just a gleam in someone's eye. How much more we'd learn, he felt, if we already knew how to live before we had to.

We may fantasize sometimes about going back with the tools of the program we're using today to our families, our high schools, or our dating years. It may please us to think of how "together" we would be with such tools, knowing what we know now.

But we can't live backwards. Every year we move along in age, experience, maturity, and wisdom. Sometimes we only see such growth on birthdays, when we look back to a year ago at who we were then and who we are now. As our years advance, so do we. Sometimes we need to take a brief look backward in order to see this.

Tonight I'll remember that to see my growth all I have to do is look at where I was a year ago. I have advanced in age, but I've also advanced in wisdom and maturity.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Taking things in stride

When we first begin to recover—feel a connection to our Higher Power, work the first three Steps, and begin to change—we might feel grateful, giddy, self-conscious, happy, proud, and special, among others.

It may seem odd, but some people may react negatively to us. They may look at us with jealousy, irritation, shame, skepticism, or mistrust. But it makes sense: We’re different and they don’t know quite what to make of us yet. It helps if we can be aware of this and not overreact, just keep up our good work and trust that it will all get resolved in time.

Can I have faith and stay focused?

Higher Power, help me to relax and take others’ reactions to my changes in stride.

I will focus on my own recovery today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

You have to give it away in order to keep it.

~ SAYING HEARD IN MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

One of the meetings I go to is relatively small. Apparently the same people have been taking various service positions over and over; at every meeting there's a request for volunteers. I've been wondering if I ought to put my hand up and offer to do something.

Sponsor

Since this is a meeting you like going to, why hesitate to help? Offering to fill a service position not only helps guarantee that the meeting will take place, but also gives you a good reason for showing up at it.

Meetings are the core of our sober lives. At the beginning, we don't stop to wonder how the tasks get done: we depend on meetings to be there for us when and where they're supposed to. As we mature in recovery, we become aware that other people have cooperated to make the meeting what it is. Some have found the space and arranged for rental; some are responsible for the treasury and regular payment of the group's expenses. Still others set up the room, make coffee, contact speakers, chair meetings, or buy literature. Commitment to a service position is an important step in recovery. We also give something, of course, simply by showing up, sharing, and listening.

Today, I don't take meetings for granted, I help ensure that they happen.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We members of AA have a tremendous responsibility. We must in our work discuss the most personal matters with the new guy or gal. This information is given us under desperate circumstances and should be treated as most confidential. Carelessness in this respect can and does do a lot of harm at times. Let us confine our conversations with each other to only that part of the new man's problem that pertains to his actual drinking, because that is the only phase of the problem that we can efficiently advise him on, anyway. These personal matters are matters of trust and they deserve the same confidential treatment as a church confessional.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Mend Me

Lord, help me to right my wrongs.
There are so many years of pain and heartache.
I seek the words that will help to heal the hearts
of those I have broken—there are many.
I must mend them without further damaging them.
Some heal with each day I remain clean and sober.
Others will take more time.
Guide me and grant me patience and sympathy for
the ones I have hurt and want only to love.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

IMMUTABLE LAW

I once came across an old sermon that was delivered in London during the French Revolution. The author said, referring to the Sermon on the Mount: "Surely it is justifiable to hate the Arch-Butcher, Robespierre, and to execrate the Bristol murderer." This pronouncement perfectly illustrates the fallacy that we have been considering.

You might just as well swallow a dose of prussic acid in two gulps, and think to protect yourself by saying, “This one is for Robespierre; and this one for the Bristol murderer." You will hardly have any doubt as to who will receive the benefit of the poison.

A woman said: "I have a right to be angry" meaning that she had been the victim of very shabby treatment. This, of course, is absurd. There is no one to give such a permit, and if general laws could be set aside in special instances, we should have, not a universe, but a chaos. If you drank a deadly poison inadvertently, you would die because such is the law. For the same reason, to entertain negative emotions is to order trouble—quite independently of any seeming justification that you may suppose yourself to have.

Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

A man's heart deviseth the way, but the Lord directeth his steps.

~ Proverbs 41:9 ~

Do you remember the children's game of "Hot and Cold?" In the game, a player would step out of a room while others hid an object. Then the player returned and tried to find the hidden item. As he or she searched, the others would call out, "Getting warmer" when the seeker approached the object, and "Getting colder" when the seeker moved away from it, until the object was found. In the game of life, joy and enthusiasm are the voice of Spirit letting you know that you are "getting warmer." Boredom and fatigue are the universe's clues that you are "getting colder." We are led to our good by the energy of delight.

If you are accustomed to relying only on your mind to make decisions, you will become confused and bewildered. The mind is but one component of successful decision making. The other is the heart. One can go only so far using the mind as a tool; eventually the heart must be honored as a source of wisdom and insight.

The next time you have to make a decision, ask yourself how you feel about any given alternative. If the direction warms, delights, stimulates, or interests you, it is a sign to step toward it. If the possibility leaves you cold or flat, do not pursue it. The universe will warm or cool you as you move toward, or away from, your objective. Trust the voice of Spirit; it will speak if you will listen.

Thank You for speaking to me through the voice of joy.

The loving voice of God guides me to my Good.

[bluidkiti]

September 30

Step by Step

“11. – Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think AA ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as AA members ought not be broadcast, filmed or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, “The Twelve Traditions” (long form), p 567.

Today, no “praise” inasmuch as my drinking is concerned, be it years of sobriety or a decision to attend my first meeting tonight. While it is appropriate to give a quick pat on the back for working toward recovery, the overwhelming “credit” belongs to AA without which we have no lifeline to grab and hold onto. If I should boast about my sobriety as my own achievement, if I become complacent in sobriety or if I neglect to do what the program requires I do, I have probably neglected my responsibility to be one of its “success” stories anonymously. Today, I will be stingy in claiming my sobriety as my own accomplishment and instead remember that it’s largely the product of AA. And our common journey continues. Step by Step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GROWTH

Let each become all that he was created capable of being . . . expand, if possible, to his full growth.

~ Thomas Carlyle ~

Growth is change. It is a necessity in recovery. As our attitudes, actions, and thinking grow, we are aware of the miracle of change in our lives. Our growth becomes evidence of an exciting life. Our growth in character is a result of how well we learn, with gratitude and humility, from experience.

Spiritual, emotional, and physical growth becomes apparent when time and experience cause us to be gentle with ourselves. This happens when we use realistic self-criticism as we review our behavior. Long-timers tell us that "you've got to grow or you've got to go." And we don't ever want to go back to what we were.

Growth is change. When I am willing to grow spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally, I change for the better.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.

~ Simone Signoret ~

A relationship may begin with love at first sight. Some of us have experienced that feeling many times. But the growth of a relationship is nutured by sharing many experiences and times together. We live through many kinds of events, including the unexpected turns that every life brings. We have enjoyable times together, and we inevitably disappoint each other or frustrate each other. The history we build over time is the storehouse of our lives.

Sometimes when a relationship is strained, we easily say to ourselves, I could do better without this; I could find someone else and have a better life. But to walk away from a relationship would be to walk away from a shared history. Some relationships are so toxic that it is better to cut our losses and leave. But usually we are happier when we can repair the wrongs and build upon our history.

Today I am grateful for the history I share with my intimate partner.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Wisdom lets us know that the key is not to judge, but to love and nurture.

~ Jane Nelsen ~

Freeing our minds of judgment is far more difficult than we’d imagined. It often seems our minds fill up by themselves. That’s not true, of course. We cannot always be in control of everything, but we are always in charge of our thoughts.

Harboring only loving thoughts may seem beyond our capabilities at first. So did living without alcohol and other drugs, yet we are managing that one day at a time. Nothing is too much for us to handle if we make the effort moment by moment. Making the decision to “think love” is doable. The proof is in the practice.

How I feel about myself today is tied to how I decide to feel about others. My love of them will help me love myself.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can grow by telling my story

In recovery I no longer have to lie to myself or others. In telling my history of addiction and early recovery as honestly as memory allows, I can practice coming to terms with my life, both the downs and the ups. I can show myself how ready and willing and able I am to practice the important principle of honesty.

In recovery where I am both emotionally and spiritually safe, I have a chance to get rid of some of the guilt and shame about my life. I take advantage of this opportunity (and challenge) when I am honest about my past in the Fifth Step and honest about my present in the Tenth Step.

Today I will practice honesty in my Tenth Step review.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Nobody’s family can hang out the sign,
Nothing the matter here.

~ Chinese Proverb ~

While we were drinking and using, we often found it easy to judge others. It made us feel better to say, “Those people have a lot of problems. I’m glad I’m not like them.”

Today, we are much less likely to judge others. We are focused on our own life now. We are busy getting back in shape mentally, physically, and spiritually. We don’t have much time — or much need — to be taking an inventory on other people.

And we have learned the benefits of empathy and sympathy with others. Instead of criticizing, we are learning how to reach out and understand others. As we learn to trust ourselves and our feelings, we find we don’t need to hide behind a wall of selfishness. Now, we are learning the spiritual value of hearing and helping others. As the Twelfth Step reminds us, we keep our program by giving it away.

Today let me be sensitive to the plight of others. Help me not to judge those in need.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Memory is the diary we all carry about with us.

~ Mary H. Waldrip ~

Recovery increases your awareness of how you have harmed others. For many, such realization can be a real shock and lead to intense feelings of shame, guilt, despair, and depression. If you stay immersed in such feelings, you may find it hard to move forward. Your emotional baggage from the past will always be with you. If you focus only on the relationships and people you have “broken” as a result of your addiction, you may find it hard to think about anything else.

Step Nine offers you an opportunity to remember what you have done to others and to try to repair as much as you can with them—the broken promises, the emptiness and abandonment you caused others to feel, and the relationships and responsibilities you ignored.

In doing such things, it is important to keep in mind that there is no guarantee you will able to fix everything in ways that restore happiness and reconnection to those relationships that your addiction damaged. Your actions may not lead to reconciliation or rebuild bridges, but they will help you release some of the emotional baggage that has been weighing you down.

I will make direct amends to those I have harmed. I will do so without any expectation of acceptance or forgiveness, but because it is the right thing to do.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Our main business is not on see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand-

~ Thomas Carlyle ~

"Five years down the road," says Jack, "I want to have a new job, an intimate relationship, and a bigger house. I want to be earning more money and feel better about myself." What nice dreams! But what is Jack doing for himself now?

My relationship is not going well," sighs Sarah. "This isn't the first time I've been told I have the same character defects. Someday I really want to make changes and be in a warm, supportive relationship. Then I'll be happy." But how can Sarah expect to have a wonderful relationship if she doesn’t begin her work now?

"My family is so messed up," declares Leslie, a parent. "No one communicates. If we had a bigger house we wouldn't argue so much or be so disorganized. When Bill and I start making good money, we can look for that dream house." But when will Bill and Leslie work on the family problems they're having now?

Tonight I can begin to see what lies clearly at hand—not a dream or goal years away from now. All I have is right now. Tonight I can build my future foundations by working on me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Praying

There are different ways to pray and different things to pray about. We can use words or we can pray silently through careful, mindful, spiritual acts. We can pray for our-selves or others, for what we need or want, or we can pray to follow the will of our Higher Power.

In fact, we can make a prayer out of most anything we do. The way we do what we do can make most any act a prayer.

Am I staying in conscious contact through my prayers?

Higher Power, help me to keep prayer, whether spoken or silent, an active part of my spiritual life.

I will keep up my prayer life today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

We are going to learn a new freedom and a new happiness. . . .We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (THE AA BIG BOOK) ~

Newcomer

I keep hearing people refer to "the Promises." What are they, exactly?

Sponsor

"The Promises" is the name given to a paragraph that follows a discussion of Step Nine in Alcoholics Anonymous (the AA Big Book). That paragraph affirms that several freedoms will come to us without fail, "if we are painstaking" about the process of making amends.

Taking Step Nine with thoroughness and care, the Promises tell us, is the path to freedom from self-pity, self-centeredness, fear, confusion, and a sense of separation from our fellow human beings. One of my favorite sentences in that paragraph is "We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." When I first read it, it seemed unimaginable. My life was filled with regret. My addiction had helped me to shut out memories of my past life, and had given me still more to regret in the process. But this promise has, in fact, come true for me. Over time in recovery as you work the Steps, the Promises will come true in your life.

Today, I have the courage to take a step toward mental and emotional freedom.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Our AA philosophy is an idealistic philosophy. It has to be in order to be a happy philosophy. Some may declare that it is too much so, that we ignore more materialistic facts. Let us take from our philosophy all the good and the joy it promises. Let us give our gold no acid test.

If our philosophy is unreal and foolish in the eyes of the more materialistic world, then what of it? It enables us to be happier than those that have good sense.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Traditional Jewish Prayer

If my lips could sing as many songs
as there are waves in the sea;
If my tongue could sing as many hymns
as the oceans billows;
If my mouth filled the whole sky with praise;
If my face shone like the sun;
If my hands were to soar in the sky like powerful
eagles
And my feet run across mountains like a powerful
deer;
All that would be not enough
To pay fitting tribute
To You, O Lord my God.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CUT MY OWN THROAT?

A man came to see me in London in great distress. He had attended some lectures I gave, and wanted advice. He was the owner of a general grocery store in a village in the south of England, and hitherto there had been no competition. Now, one of the big chain stores was opening a branch almost opposite to him in the main street, and he was in a panic.

He said, "How can I compete with them? I am ruined."

I said, "You know the Great Law. You know where your supply comes from. Why be afraid?"
He said, "I must do something."

I said, "Stand in your shop each morning and bless it, by claiming that divine Power works through it for great prosperity and peace for all concerned." He nodded his head in agreement.

I added, "Then look down the street to where they are fitting up the new store, and bless that in the same way."

“What? Cut my own throat?" he almost screamed.

I explained that what blesses one, blesses all. I told him that he was really hating his competitor (through fear) and that his hatred would destroy him, while blessing the "enemy" was the way to get rid of hate. I finished by saying, "You cannot cut your throat with prayer; you can only improve everything."

It took some time to persuade him, but at last he got the idea, and when I met him several years later he told me that his business had been better than ever since the chain store appeared; and that it seemed to be getting on well too.

This is what Jesus meant when he said, Love your enemies (Luke 6:27).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Supermarket Saints

We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make, which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.

~ Marion Wright Edelman ~

Down the road from my house lives a saint. He does not lecture, issue cosmic prophecies, or solicit disciples. He dons not a white robe, but a green, hooded sweatshirt. The master gives blessings not from a pulpit, but from a wheelchair. Paralyzed after a stroke, Raymond sits at the end of his driveway, grinning and waving to every car that passes. He can move only his arm, and he uses it to bless. His daily communion begins when the school buses pass in the morning, and concludes when the buses take the children back home in the afternoon. All the kids know Raymond and wave back.

When I pass Raymond, I am usually on my way to an appointment, and my mind is immersed in the busy-ness of life. When I see him, I feel happy; he reminds me that the real business of life is love. It has occurred to me that this man is making a paramount contribution to planetary healing. In his own simple way, he is transforming the world by bringing joy to everyone who passes before him. What greater ministry could one have?

Our spiritual life is founded on the spirit in which we act. When evaluating any activity, check in with your heart. How much peace or reward do you feel? Do you carry the spirit of joy through your day? Do you greet the security guard with respect and appreciation? Can you offer a gentle touch to the child who bumps into you in the supermarket? Can you laugh in the face of a business delay? In the end, you will count your good based on the depth of love you generated, not on the amount of time you spent in the office. In the movie Ghost, as Patrick Swayze's character is about to go into the light at the end of his life, he exclaims, "lt's amazing—you take all the love with you."

I shall not wait for the afterlife to find heaven. I pray to bring the richest spirit to all that I do.

I use every moment to magnify love.