NA JUST FOR TODAY-SEPTEMBER 2014

[MajestyJo]

September 01, 2014

Real values

Page 255

"We become able to make wise and loving decisions based on principles and ideals that have real value in our lives."

Basic Text p.101

Addiction gave us a certain set of values, principles we applied in our lives. "You pushed me" one of those values told us, "so I pushed back, hard." "It's mine" was another value generated by our disease. "Well, okay, maybe it wasn't mine to start with, but I liked it, so I made it mine' Those values were hardly values at all-more like rationalizations-and they certainly didn't help us make wise and loving decisions. In fact, they served primarily to dig us deeper and deeper into the grave we'd already dug for ourselves.

The Twelve Steps give us a strong dose of real values, the kind that help us live in harmony with ourselves and those around us. We place our faith not in ourselves, our families, or our communities, but in a Higher Power-and in doing so, we grow secure enough to be able to trust our communities, our families, and even ourselves. We learn to be honest, no matter what-and we learn to refrain from doing things we might want to hide. We learn to accept responsibility for our actions. "It's mine" is replaced with a spirit of selflessness. These are the kind of values that help us become a responsible, productive part of the life around us. Rather than digging us deeper into a grave, these values restore us to the world of the living.

Just for Today: I am grateful for the values I've developed. I am thankful for the ability they give me to make wise, loving decisions as a responsible, productive member of my community.

We seldom hear about the principles behind the Steps and the Traditions. They are the real value of the program.

http://magshare.net/narchive/NArchiv...-12-Basics.pdf

[MajestyJo]

September 02, 2014

Higher Powered

Page 256

"Daily practice of our Twelve Step program enables us to change from what we were to people guided by a Higher Power."

Basic Text p.83

Who have we been, and who have we become? There are a couple of ways to answer this question. One is very simple:

We came to Narcotics Anonymous as addicts, our addiction killing us. In NA, we've been freed from our obsession with drugs and our compulsion to use. And our lives have changed.

But that's only the tip of the iceberg. Who have we really been? In the past, we were people without power or direction. We felt like we had no purpose, no reason for living. Our lives didn't make any more sense to us than they did to our families, our friends, or our neighbors.

Who are we really becoming? Today, we are not merely clean addicts, but people with a sense of direction, a purpose, and a Power greater than ourselves. Through daily practice of the Twelve Steps, we've begun to understand how our addiction warped our feelings, motivations, and behavior. Gradually, the destructive force of our disease has been replaced by the life-giving force of our Higher Power.

Recovery means more than cleaning up-it means powering up. We have done more than shed some bad habits; we are becoming new people, guided by a Higher Power.

Just for Today: The guidance I need to become a new person is ready at hand. Today, I will draw further away from my old and closer to my Higher Power.

When I surrender to my Higher Power, I am empowered to do what I need to do just for today, to stay clean and sober.

[MajestyJo]

September 03, 2014

Humility expressed by anonymity

Page 257

"Humility is a by-product that allows us to grow and develop in an atmosphere of freedom and removes the fear of becoming known by our employers, families, or friends as addicts. "

Basic Text p.72-23

Many of us may not have understood the idea that "anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions." We wondered how this could be. What does anonymity have to do with our spiritual life?

The answer is, plenty! By guarding and cherishing our anonymity, we earn spiritual rewards beyond comprehension. There is great virtue in doing something nice for someone and not telling anyone about it. By the same token, resisting the impulse to proudly announce our membership in NA to the world-in effect, asking everyone to acknowledge how wonderful we are-makes us value our recovery all the more.

Recovery is a gift that we've received from a Power greater than ourselves. Boasting about our recovery, as if it were our own doing, leads to prideful feelings and grandiosity. But keeping our anonymity leads to humility and feelings of gratitude. Recovery is its own reward; public acclaim can't make it any more valuable than it already is.

Just for Today: Recovery is its own reward; I don't need to have mine approved of publicly. I will maintain and cherish my anonymity.

Can understand the importance of anonymity. and practice it to the best of my ability. I have had mine broken so many times inside and outside the rooms of recovery,it is a good thing it doesn't matter to me. I was known for a 50 mile radius when I was using, so why should I care who knows I am clean and sober?

When you stand on the main street of your village with a friend who is not in recovery and you are not either, and the person says, "So, you are JoAnne Kitchen," it is hard to beat. I still remember the feeling of horror today. It ended up she had advertising in the Autumn Leaf Magazine that I was assistant editor for and wrote a couple columns for, plus proof read everybody's editorials, including the presidents and wrote the column for a couple of the chair people with the information they gave me. You just never know when you are the preacher's son's daughter who married the village drunk's son.

In today, I don`t take the credit or the blame.

[MajestyJo]

September 04, 2014

Cluttered spirits

Page 258

"We try to remember that when we make amends we are doing it for ourselves. "

Basic Text p.40

As long as we still owe amends, our spirits are cluttered with things we don't need. We're carrying the extra load of an apology owed, a resentment held, or unexpressed remorse. It's like having a messy house. We could leave so we don't have to see the mess, or maybe just step over the piles of debris and pretend they aren't there. But ignoring the disorder won't make it disappear. In the end, the dirty dishes, the crumb-filled carpet, and the overflowing wastebaskets are still there, waiting to be cleaned up.

A cluttered spirit is just as hard to live with as a messy home. We always seem to be tripping over yesterday's leavings. Every time we turn around and try to go somewhere, there is something blocking our path. The more we neglect our responsibility to make amends, the more cluttered our spirits become. And we can't even hire someone to clean up. We have to do the work ourselves.

We gain a deep sense of satisfaction from making our own amends. Just as we would feel after we've cleaned our homes and have time to enjoy a bit of sunshine through sparkling windows, so will our spirits rejoice at our freedom to truly enjoy our recovery. And once the big mess is cleaned up, all we have to do is pick up after ourselves as we go along.

Just for Today: I will clear away what's cluttering my spirit by making the amends I owe.

This is food for thoughts. Will have to check it out later, on my way to the doctor's.

[MajestyJo]

September 05, 2014

Not hopelessly bad

Page 259

"We find that we suffer from a disease, not a moral dilemma. We were critically ill, not hopelessly bad."

Basic Text p.16

For many of us, Narcotics Anonymous was the answer to a personal puzzle of long standing. Why did we always feel alone, even in a crowd, we wondered? Why did we do so many crazy, self-destructive things? Why did we feel so badly about ourselves so much of the time? And how had our lives gotten so messed up? We thought we were hopelessly bad, or perhaps hopelessly insane.

Given that, it was a great relief to learn we suffered from a disease. Addiction-that was the source of our problems. A disease, we realized, could be treated. And when we treat our disease, we can begin to recover.

Today, when we see symptoms of our disease resurfacing in our lives, we need not despair. After all, it's a treatable disease we have, not a moral dilemma. We can be grateful we can recover from the disease of addiction through the application of the Twelve Steps of NA.

Just for Today: I am grateful that I have a treatable disease, not a moral dilemma. I will continue applying the treatment for the disease of addiction by practicing the NA program.

I was told that I was a sick person trying to get well, not a bad person trying to get good.

[MajestyJo]

September 06, 2014

Regular meeting attendance

Page 260

"We have learned from our group experience that those who keep coming to our meetings regularly stay clean."

Basic Text p.9

The NA program gives us a new pattern of living. One of the basic elements of that new pattern is regular meeting attendance. For the newcomer, living clean is a brand new experience. All that once was familiar is changed. The old people, places, and things that served as props on the stage of our lives are gone. New stresses appear, no longer masked or deadened by drugs. That's why we often suggest that newcomers attend a meeting every day. No matter what comes up, no matter how crazy the day gets, we know that our daily meeting awaits us. There, we can renew contact with other recovering addicts, people who know what we're going through because they've been through it themselves. No day needs to go by without the relief we get only from such fellowship.

As we mature in recovery, we get the same kinds of benefits from regular meeting attendance. Regardless of how long we've been clean, we never stop being addicts. True, we probably won't immediately start using mass quantities of drugs if we miss our meetings for a few days. But the more regularly we attend NA meetings, the more we reinforce our identity as recovering addicts. And each meeting helps put us that much further from becoming using addicts again.

Just for Today: I will make a commitment to include regular meeting attendance as a part of my new pattern of living.

Meetings are so important. Even in today, I can't get out to meetings very often and the ones around me are not wheel chair accessible.

Coming to the site each day is my meeting.

[MajestyJo]

September 07, 2014

Resentment and forgiveness

Page 261

"Where there has been wrong, the program teaches us the spirit of forgiveness. "

Basic Text p.12

In NA, we begin to interact with the world around us. We no longer live in isolation. But freedom from isolation has its price:

The more we interact with people, the more often we'll find someone stepping on our toes. And such are the circumstances in which resentments are often born.

Resentments, justified or not, are dangerous to our ongoing recovery. The longer we harbor resentments, the more bitter they become, eventually poisoning us. To stay clean, we must find the capacity to let go of our resentments, the capacity to forgive. We first develop this capacity in working Steps Eight and Nine, and we keep it alive by regularly taking the Tenth Step. Sometimes when we are unwilling to forgive, it helps to remember that we, too, may someday require another person's forgiveness. Haven't we all, at one time or another, done something that we deeply regretted? And aren't we healed in some measure when others accept our sincere amends?

An attitude of forgiveness is a little easier to develop when we remember that we are all doing the very best we can. And someday we, too, will need forgiveness.

Just for Today: I will let go of my resentments. Today, if I am wronged, I will practice forgiveness, knowing that I need forgiveness myself.

People say, "I will forgive, but I won't forget." That is not forgiving. I needed a change of attitude. I found for the most part, I didn't forget, but I didn't retain that "grrrrr" in my soul and I didn't have that "eat him raw" or "God save His soul" attitude about him every time I thought about it. It was about forgiving him and saving my soul.

[MajestyJo]

September 08, 2014

Rebellion

Page 262

"We need not lose faith when we become rebellious."

Basic Text p.34

Many of us have lived our entire lives in revolt. Our initial response to any type of direction is often negative. Automatic rejection of authority seems to be a troubling character defect for many addicts.

A thorough self-examination can show us how we react to the world around us. We can ask ourselves if our rebellion against people, places, and institutions is justified. If we keep writing long enough, we can usually get past what others did and uncover our own part in our affairs. We find that what others did to us was not as important as how we responded to the situations we found ourselves in.

Regular inventory allows us to examine the patterns in our reactions to life and see if we are prone to chronic rebelliousness. Sometimes we will find that, while we may usually go along with what is suggested to us rather than risk rejection, we secretly harbor resentments against authority. If left to themselves, these resentments can lead us away from our program of recovery.

The inventory process allows us to uncover, evaluate, and alter our rebellious patterns. We can't change the world by taking an inventory, but we can change the way we react to it.

Just for Today: I want freedom from the turmoil of rebelliousness. Before I act, I will inventory myself and think about my true values.

I rebelled against the rules that I saw people make and break.

[MajestyJo]

September 09, 2014

Feet of clay

Page 263

"One of the biggest stumbling blocks to recovery seems to be placing unrealistic expectations on... others."

Basic Text p.78

Many of us come into Narcotics Anonymous feeling pretty poorly about ourselves. By comparison, the recovering addicts we meet at meetings may seem almost superhumanly serene. These wise, loving people have many months, even years of living in accordance with spiritual principles, giving of themselves to others without expecting anything back. We trust them, allowing them to love us until we can love ourselves. We expect them to make everything alright again.

Then the glow of early recovery begins to fade, and we start to see the human side of our NA friends and sponsor. Perhaps a fellow member of our home group stands us up for a coffee date, or we see two oldtimers bickering at a committee meeting, or we realize our sponsor has a defect of character or two. We're crushed, disillusioned-these recovering addicts aren't perfect after all! How can we possibly trust them anymore?

Somewhere between "the heroes of recovery" and "the lousy NA bums" lies the truth: Our fellow addicts are neither completely bad nor completely good. After all, if they were perfect, they wouldn't need this program. Our friends and sponsor are ordinary recovering addicts, just like we are. We can relate to their ordinary recovery experience and use it in our own program.

Just for Today: My friends and my sponsor are human, just like me-and I trust their experience all the more for that.

This is a good lesson. It is one reason why it is not good to put your sponsor on a pedestal. She just might fall off. She has a life. She is human and as much as I liked to think she was, I was not the center of her universe. They work miracles, they believe in them, because they themselves are one, be patient, and allow them to share their experience, strength, and hope with you. What worked for them, may not always work for you, but their guidance, just may guide you in the way that is good for you. She can tell you what not to do. It is up to you whether you believe and listen.

[MajestyJo]

September 10, 2014

More powerful than words

Page 264

"We learn that a simple, loving hug can make all the difference in the world."

Basic Text p.88

Perhaps there have been times in our recovery when we were close to someone who was in great pain. We struggled with the question, "What can I do to make them feel better?" We felt anxious and inadequate to relieve their suffering. We wished we had more experience to share. We didn't know what to say.

But sometimes life deals wounds that can't be eased by even the most heartfelt words. Words can never express all we mean when our deepest feelings of compassion are involved. Language is inadequate to reach a wounded soul, as only the touch of a loving Higher Power can heal an injury to the spirit.

When those we love are grieving, simply being present is perhaps the most compassionate contribution we can offer. We can rest assured that a loving Higher Power is working hard at healing the spirit; our only responsibility is to be there. Our presence, a loving hug, and a sympathetic ear will surely express the depth of our feelings, and do more to reach the heart of a human being in pain than mere words ever could.

Just for Today: I will offer my presence, a hug, and a sympathetic ear to someone I love.

Pretty awesome, nobody can help, but a prayer and a hug sure goes a long way to making someone feel a whole lot better.

My pain is always there, it takes many forms and I never know when and where it is going to make itself known. Some days, all I can do is pray and give myself a hug.

[MajestyJo]

September 11, 2014

Bend with the wind

Page 265

"We learn to become flexible.. As new things are revealed, we feel renewed."

Basic Text p.98

"Flexibility" was not a part of the vocabulary we used in our using days. We'd become obsessed with the raw pleasure of our drugs and hardened to all the softer, subtler, more infinitely varied pleasures of the world around us. Our disease had turned life itself into a constant threat of jails, institutions, and death, a threat against which we hardened ourselves all the more. In the end we became brittle. With the merest breath of life's wind we crumbled at last, broken, defeated, with no choice but to surrender.

But the beautiful irony of recovery is that, in our surrender, we found the flexibility we had lost in our addiction, the very lack of which had defeated us. We regained the ability to bend in life's breeze without breaking. When the wind blew, we felt its loving caress against our skin, where once we would have hardened ourselves as if against the onrush of a storm.

The winds of life blow new airs our way each moment, and with them new fragrances, new pleasures, varied, subtly different. As we bend with life's wind, we feel and hear and touch and smell and taste all it has to offer us. And as new winds blow, we feel renewed.

Just for Today: Higher Power, help me bend with life's wind and glory in its passing. Free me from rigidity.

As my sister use to say, "You were never known for your will power." I said, "I had a lot of will power, more like will-fullness, what I had was won't power." I said to a guy in recovery, "It is nice to find in recovery that everything isn't black and white and that there are shades of gray. He said, "I am glad that there is black and white, I can see clearly because all I saw was shades of gray. So a lot is our attitude and how we look at and perceive things.

[MajestyJo]

September 12, 2014

New horizons

Page 266

"My life is well-rounded and I am becoming a more comfortable version of myself, not the neurotic, boring person that I thought I'd be without drugs."

Basic Text p.262

Is there really life without drugs? Newcomers are sure that they are destined to lead a humdrum existence once they quit using. That fear is far from reality.

Narcotics Anonymous opens the door to a new way of life for our members. The only thing we lose in NA is our slavery to drugs. We gain a host of new friends, time to pursue hobbies, the ability to be stably employed, even the capacity to pursue an education if we so desire. We are able to start projects and see them through to completion. We can go to a dance and feel comfortable, even if we have two left feet. We start to budget money to travel, even if it's only with a tent to a nearby campsite. In recovery, we find out what interests us and pursue new pastimes. We dare to dream.

Life is certainly different when we have the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous to return to. Through the love we find in NA, we begin to believe in ourselves. Equipped with this belief, we venture forth into the world to discover new horizons. Many times, the world is a better place because an NA member has been there.

Just for Today: I can live a well-rounded, comfortable life-a life I never dreamt existed. Recovery has opened new horizons to me and equipped me to explore them.

Love this. I questioned this myself. I took up line dancing, only to find I could do it, but didn't truly didn't have my zig to go with my zag, that came later. I found that I wanted to zag when I was suppose to zig. I use to smoke the boyfriend's wine tipped cigarillos, and wanted to see if I could do it sober. Couldn't have it with the wine, and it just wasn't the same without the wine, so gave them up.

On a serious note, went back to school at the age of 59 and got a certificate of Business Administration om Communications and even got a call back after a resume and job interview. I didn't get the job, I was so glad. I had to go through the formality, but knew the mind was strong but the body was weak and I could not work an 8 hour day. Up until 5 years ago, I have always done volunteer work outside of the rooms of recovery.

[MajestyJo]

September 13, 2014

Something different

Page 267

"We had to have something different, and we thought we had found it in drugs. "

Basic Text p.13

Many of us have always felt different from other people. We know we're not unique in feeling that way; we hear many addicts share the same thing. We searched all our lives for something to make us all right, to fix that "different" place inside us, to make us whole and acceptable. Drugs seemed to fill that need.

When we were high, at least we no longer felt the emptiness or the need. There was one drawback: The drugs, which were our solution, quickly became our problem.

Once we gave up the drugs, the sense of emptiness returned. At first we felt despair because we didn't have any solution of our own to that miserable longing. But we were willing to take direction and began to work the steps. As we did, we found what we'd been looking for, that "something different" Today, we believe that our lifelong yearning was primarily for knowledge of a Higher Power; the "something different" we needed was a relationship with a loving God. The steps tell us how to begin that relationship.

Just for Today: My Higher Power is the "something different' that's always been missing in my life I will use the steps to restore that missing ingredient to my spirit.

Like the thought of the missing ingredient. Like how I would make a cake and forget to put the baking powder or salt in. When I would make something and it just didn't look or taste right, there always seemed to be something missing. I didn't know it was missing the touch of the Master's Hand.

[MajestyJo]

September 14, 2014

Secrets are reservations

Page 268

"Eventually we are shown that we must get honest, or we will use again."

Basic Text p.82

Everyone has secrets, right? Some of us have little secrets, items that would cause only minor embarrassment if found out. Some of us have big secrets, whole areas of our lives cloaked in thick, murky darkness. Big secrets may represent a more obvious, immediate danger to our recovery. But the little secrets do their own kind of damage, the more insidious perhaps because we think they're "harmless!'

Big or little, our secrets represent spiritual territory we are unwilling to surrender to the principles of recovery. The longer we reserve pieces of our lives to be ruled by self-will and the more vigorously we defend our "right" to hold onto them, the more damage we do. Gradually, the unsurrendered territories of our lives tend to expand, taking more and more ground.

Whether the secrets in our lives are big or little, sooner or later they bring us to the same place. We must choose-either we surrender everything to our program, or we will lose our recovery.

Just for Today: I want the kind of recovery that comes from total surrender to the program. Today I will talk with my sponsor and disclose my secrets, big or small.

So very true. It is very scary, when you hear of people who have never done a 4th and 5th Step. You hear that people relapse after several years in recovery, and if you are fortunate enough to get to ask them, they will say I stopped going to meetings, I stopped working the Steps, and I didn't do a complete Step 4 and 5, or they never did them at all.

As we work through the Steps we heal, and as we heal we get new perception, honesty and insight, and it is an awakening, a new awareness, a process, and not a graduation. It is one day at a time. You have today, and anything that you have in today that is rooted in the past. My boyfriends got the sins of my two ex-husbands until I could work the steps, heal my feelings and deal with the trauma, pain, emotions, and hurts. I didn't know what love was, I just knew what it wasn't.

[MajestyJo]

September 15, 2014

Filling the emptiness

Page 269

". . .we think that if we can just get enough food, enough sex, or enough money, we'll be satisfied and everything will be alright."

Basic Text p.77

In our addiction, we could never get enough drugs, or money, or sex, or anything else. Even too much was never enough! There was a spiritual emptiness inside us. Though we tried as hard as we could to fill that emptiness ourselves, we never succeeded. In the end, we realized that we lacked the power to fill it; it would take a Power greater than ourselves to do that.

So we stopped using, and we stopped trying to fill the emptiness in our gut with things. We turned to our Higher Power, asking for its care, strength, and direction. We surrendered and made way for that Power to begin the process of filling our inner void. We stopped grabbing things and started receiving the free gift of love our Higher Power had for us. Slowly, our inner emptiness was being filled.

Now that we've been given our Higher Power's gift of love, what do we do with it? If we clasp that gift tightly to ourselves, we will smother it. We must remember that love grows only when it is shared. We can only keep this gift by freely giving it away. The world of addiction is a world of taking and being taken; the world of recovery is a world of giving and being given. In which world do we choose to live?

Just for Today: I choose to live in the fullness of recovery. I will celebrate my conscious contact with the God of my understanding by freely sharing with others that which has been freely shared with me.

How well I remember that void. That is why I said that my drug of choice was 'more' anything that will fill that space, didn't mind the size, shape, colour, consistency, where it come from, as long as I could use it to fill me up and take away that feeling of more and take away that feeling of empty, hollow, and being alone. How can you be alone in a room full of people. How can you be empty after stuffing yourself with food, sex, and lots of booze, and any other drugs that came your way, and you were still left with that feeling of wanting more.

The only way I could end that feeling was when I embraced the spiritual aspect of the fellowship.