If You Can’t Say Something Nice . . . - Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums

bluidkiti · 03-22-2014, 11:33 AM

If You Can’t Say Something Nice . . .

Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Say an Encouraging Word

Saturday morning chores tend to bring out the worst in my girls. Take one Saturday at our home for example. Melanie was at the table cleaning up the breakfast dishes and loudly singing to her favorite CD. Stephanie, who was folding clothes in the kitchen, countered Melanie’s excessive volume by singing a different song – only louder. Elizabeth, who tolerates little when her hands are in dishwater, told them both to shut their mouths.

Her comment triggered a triangle of ugly putdowns and criticisms that didn’t stop until I entered the room to referee. Like generations of mothers before me, I reprimanded, “If you can’t say something nice . . .”

“ . . . don’t say anything at all,” they finished.

This over used theory may be easy to recite, but it’s obviously difficult to do. How easy it is to be critical instead of kind, to comment on the negative instead of emphasizing the positive, and to tear down rather than to build up.

There is no second-guessing what God’s plans for our words are. He makes it very clear in, Ephesians 4:29, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

When your sister borrows your bike without asking is your immediate response to tear her up or talk to her about it? When a friend says something bad about you, is your immediate response to call other friends and gossip about the situation or call the person who hurt you and see what you can do to be friends again?

Our words destroy and tear others down when they’re born out of an angry, knee-jerk reaction. Our words encourage and bless when they are obedient to God’s command that we build others up!

Think about the words that you use. Do you say hurtful things? Are ALL your words helpful in building others up? Are your conversations critical and cutting, or gentle and grace filled?

You know how your mom wishes you would talk. Think about how God wants you to talk! If you can’t something nice . . . say an encouraging word!

Today’s Prayer:
Father God, thank You for Your love for me. Help me to use words to encourage and build others up according to their needs. Forgive me when my words are cutting, sarcastic, or disrespectful. I only want to speak words that please You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

By Lenae Bulthuis

MajestyJo · 03-22-2014, 04:12 PM

An old tape from my mother, "If you can't say nice things about someone, don't say nothing at all."

For so many years, my tongue was a weapon. I tore strips off people and forgot to put them back together. In today, it is my fingers that do my talking for me, and I try to use them to give people hope and healing.

bluidkiti · 03-23-2014, 10:21 AM

I have always loved this part of Bambi:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wui-PNqJrxs

MajestyJo · 03-23-2014, 05:17 PM

When I tried the link it said it was disabled.

bluidkiti · 03-24-2014, 11:42 AM

I just clicked on it and it worked for me.

MajestyJo · 03-24-2014, 05:53 PM

It said not available when I tried again.

bluidkiti · 03-26-2014, 12:09 PM

How about this one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi8f9g8-Wpc

MajestyJo · 03-26-2014, 10:25 PM

Get the same message, maybe it is because I am in Canada. Thanks for trying.

03-22-2014, 11:33 AM	#1
bluidkiti Administrator Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 73,854	If You Can’t Say Something Nice . . . If You Can’t Say Something Nice . . . Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Say an Encouraging Word Saturday morning chores tend to bring out the worst in my girls. Take one Saturday at our home for example. Melanie was at the table cleaning up the breakfast dishes and loudly singing to her favorite CD. Stephanie, who was folding clothes in the kitchen, countered Melanie’s excessive volume by singing a different song – only louder. Elizabeth, who tolerates little when her hands are in dishwater, told them both to shut their mouths. Her comment triggered a triangle of ugly putdowns and criticisms that didn’t stop until I entered the room to referee. Like generations of mothers before me, I reprimanded, “If you can’t say something nice . . .” “ . . . don’t say anything at all,” they finished. This over used theory may be easy to recite, but it’s obviously difficult to do. How easy it is to be critical instead of kind, to comment on the negative instead of emphasizing the positive, and to tear down rather than to build up. There is no second-guessing what God’s plans for our words are. He makes it very clear in, Ephesians 4:29, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. When your sister borrows your bike without asking is your immediate response to tear her up or talk to her about it? When a friend says something bad about you, is your immediate response to call other friends and gossip about the situation or call the person who hurt you and see what you can do to be friends again? Our words destroy and tear others down when they’re born out of an angry, knee-jerk reaction. Our words encourage and bless when they are obedient to God’s command that we build others up! Think about the words that you use. Do you say hurtful things? Are ALL your words helpful in building others up? Are your conversations critical and cutting, or gentle and grace filled? You know how your mom wishes you would talk. Think about how God wants you to talk! If you can’t something nice . . . say an encouraging word! Today’s Prayer: Father God, thank You for Your love for me. Help me to use words to encourage and build others up according to their needs. Forgive me when my words are cutting, sarcastic, or disrespectful. I only want to speak words that please You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. By Lenae Bulthuis __________________ "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving.

03-22-2014, 04:12 PM	#2
MajestyJo Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Hamilton, ON Posts: 25,078	An old tape from my mother, "If you can't say nice things about someone, don't say nothing at all." For so many years, my tongue was a weapon. I tore strips off people and forgot to put them back together. In today, it is my fingers that do my talking for me, and I try to use them to give people hope and healing. __________________ Love always, Jo I share because I care.

03-23-2014, 10:21 AM	#3
bluidkiti Administrator Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 73,854	I have always loved this part of Bambi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wui-PNqJrxs __________________ "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving.

03-23-2014, 05:17 PM	#4
MajestyJo Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Hamilton, ON Posts: 25,078	When I tried the link it said it was disabled. __________________ Love always, Jo I share because I care.

03-24-2014, 11:42 AM	#5
bluidkiti Administrator Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 73,854	I just clicked on it and it worked for me. __________________ "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving.

03-24-2014, 05:53 PM	#6
MajestyJo Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Hamilton, ON Posts: 25,078	It said not available when I tried again. __________________ Love always, Jo I share because I care.

03-26-2014, 12:09 PM	#7
bluidkiti Administrator Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 73,854	How about this one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi8f9g8-Wpc __________________ "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving.

03-26-2014, 10:25 PM	#8
MajestyJo Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Hamilton, ON Posts: 25,078	Get the same message, maybe it is because I am in Canada. Thanks for trying. __________________ Love always, Jo I share because I care.

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