Today's Thought - February

[bluidkiti]

February 16

How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
--Marcus Aurelius

Anger shatters our calm. Some of us show it in loud bursts; others just quietly stew. Sometimes we feel angry inside but we still want to look kind and unperturbed, so our anger comes out sideways, hurting someone indirectly or in sneaky ways. We all have felt the pangs of regret after we said or did something in anger. We wish we could magically turn back the clock and undo the moment, gather up the pieces, and put them back together again.

No one can simply banish the basic human emotion of anger from his life. To be responsible, we must accept our anger. It arises from within us and handling it is our own responsibility, even when we are perfectly justified in feeling angry. We choose our way to express it. It is never responsible to say, "You made me angry, so it's your fault that I blew up."

After accepting our anger we strive to develop a space between the feeling and our actions. We learn to notice our feelings before they reach the explosion point. In that mental space we choose how to express them.

Today I will notice and accept my anger, than choose respectful ways to express it.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

February 17

Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
--Children's Letters to God

Sometimes we look around, assess the situation, and decide what we think we need. So we go to God and begin praying.

Out of the blue, our prayers get answered. But the answer isn't what we requested. We were so specific, we think. Now, this – this thing – has come along. We didn't get what we asked for. Our prayers were answered, but we got something else.

Don't get bitter or so involved with feeling blue about not getting what you requested that you miss out on what you did receive. Wants and needs are closely connected. And all our needs, even the ones we're not completely aware of yet, will be met. Be grateful that God knows more about what we need than we do.

Sometimes when we pray, we get what we want. Sometimes we get what we need. Accept both answers – the yes's and the something else's – with heartfelt gratitude. Then look around and see what your lesson and gift is.

God, help me remember to be thankful even when the gift is not quite what I expected.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

[bluidkiti]

February 18

There's one thing you can't give away. You can't give away a smile. It always comes back to you.
--Violet Hensley

We have had years of experience with the results of smiling. How many times have we felt better simply because we smiled, even at a stranger? Smiling is somewhat like yawning. When we see someone do it, it initiates one in us, too. But how often are we the initiators of a smile when we catch the attention of someone? Seldom. And what a shame.

As kids we probably heard that it took more muscles to frown than to smile. We usually were told that in the midst of pouting and the message agitated us. Whether or not it's a truth based on research doesn't really matter. Smiling simply feels good. It inspires the same good feelings in others, too.

Life could be simpler than we choose to make it. We really don't have to assess every situation before determining what expression we'll wear. We need not search for a hidden meaning in every action or expression of the others we're with. We can awake each day, decide that we'll respond to our experiences and the people in them with respect and friendliness, and put on a smile, just like we put on lipstick or a cap when it's chilly out. Some of life's decisions are simple. Let's relish them.

My first smile will be at me in the mirror today. If I savor it, it will set a good tone for the rest of the day.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

February 19

Every day is a different day. You never know what it will bring. That's the exciting thing about getting up every morning.
--Alpha English

No doubt we have all hit spells when we didn't feel the urge to get the day going. Pulling the covers up around us seemed far more inviting. There's nothing wrong with occasionally resisting the next twenty-four hours. We do need variety in our lives. Even a healthy, fun routine is still a routine. Shaking it up is good for us. But if we make a habit of avoiding whatever plans we've made, we need to take an inventory of our feelings. Depression isn't foreign to most of us. Chronic depression needs to be addressed, however.

If we begin to feel blue about our lives, let's make sure we are expressing our feelings to a friend. Generally, there is a simple solution. Maybe we have forgotten to pray and meditate regularly. Perhaps we have become self-absorbed. Being appreciative of others generally changes how we see every aspect of our lives. Recounting with a confidant or in a journal all the blessings and achievements we've accumulated over these many decades often pushes us out of the doldrums.

Let's remember that most days surprised us with their outcomes. We never got exactly what we expected. This is one certainty about life that we can always count on.

Today is bound to surprise me in how it unfolds. I'll appreciate what comes my way.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

February 20

Aging is not easy, but what's our alternative?
- Helen Casey

The kind of attitude we developed over our lives determined how we saw every detail of each experience. Even now our attitude holds us hostage. The misunderstanding that many of us have is that we think we can't really change how we see our world. Nothing is further from the truth. We can make a large or small shift in our perceptions instantly. The outcome is that everything about our lives changes from that moment forward. Thus, how we perceive the aging process is controlled by our willingness to look at it again.

Helen has aged gracefully. At 86, she still finds time for making new friends, three bridge clubs a week, daily mass and frequent communication with her children and relatives. She carries a positive, hopeful attitude with her wherever she goes, which inspires others, young and old.

It wouldn't appear that aging has been hard on Helen. But the truth of the matter is that she has suffered many losses. What she has managed to hold onto, though, is her faith in God and her willingness to see every "glass as half full."

How lucky we are that we can "tinker" with our attitude for as long as we're alive, and if we aren't completely happy, we have work to do. As Helen says, there is no alternative to aging, except death. What happens now is up to us.

I am only as old as I decide to feel today.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

February 21

I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money.
--Pablo Picasso

Some of us were taught not to place a lot of value on money. After all, it's only money, and money can't buy happiness. True enough. While many of us don't place much value on money, we manage to value the possessions that money can buy. The result is that we treat money frivolously and spend it recklessly.

We know it's true that love and the quality of our relationships are far more valuable than money. We also know we can't put a price tag on good health. We begin, however, to appreciate and to value money for what it is — a means to an end and a responsibility. When we value money, we're less likely to spend it carelessly or frivolously. We're more likely to save it and to put it to good use.

Today I give my cash the same value I place on my most treasured material possessions.



You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

[bluidkiti]

February 22

A terrace nine stories high begins with a pile of earth.
--Lao-tzu

Imagine yourself with a pile of dirt in front of you and building plans for a one-story structure. It would be easy to think, "Oh, this is impossible - it will never get done."

But the architect hires people to help. A foundation is built, and then the frame. From there, step by step, the rest is filled in. We have all watched a building take shape and become a finished product.

Building plans are like the goals we all have. We want to be a better person or friend, a better artist or athlete. Reaching a goal is like putting up a building. Once we have a goal, we need a strong foundation to support us. All of us need the help of others to reach our goals.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

February 23

Say when it's time to stop coping.

In her book Recovering from the Loss of a Child, author Katherine Fair Donnelly writes of a man whose infant daughter, Robyn, dies from SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). The child had died in the stroller, while the mother was out walking her. The father had stopped to get a haircut that day and was given a number for his turn.

"It was something he never did again in future years," Donnelly wrote. "He would never take a number at the barber's and always came home first to make sure everything was all right. Then he would go and get a haircut. It became one of the ways he found of coping."

I hate coping. It's not living. It's not being free. It reeks of surviving.

But sometimes it's the best we can do, for a while.

Eight years after my son dies, I was signing the papers to purchase a home. It was the first home I had bought since his death. The night before he dies, I had also signed papers to buy a new home. I didn't know that I had begun to associate buying a home with his death, until I noticed my hand trembling and my heart pounding as I finished signing the purchase agreement. For eight years, I had simply avoiding buying a home, renting one less-than-desirable place after another and complaining about the travails of being a renter. I only knew then that I was "never going to buy another house again." I didn't understand that I was coping.

Many of us find ways of coping. As children, we may have become very angry with our parents. Having no recourse, we may have said to ourselves, "I'll show the, I'm never going to do well at music, or sports, or studies again." As adults, we may deal with a loss, or death, by saying, "I'm always going to be nice to people and make them happy. Then they won't go away." Or we may deal with a betrayal by saying, "I'm never going to open my heart to a woman, or man, again."

Coping often includes making an incorrect connection between an event and our behavior. It may help us survive., but at some point our coping behaviors usually get in our way. They become habits and take on a life of their own. And although we think we're protecting ourselves or someone we love, we aren't.

Robyn didn't die because her father took a number and waited to get his hair cut.

My son didn't die because I brought a new house.

Are you keeping yourself from dong something that you really want to do as a means of coping with something that happened to you a long time ago? Cope if you must, if it helps save your life. But maybe today is the day you could set yourself free.

God, show me if I'm limiting myself and my life in some way by using an outdated coping behavior. Help me know that I'm safe and strong enough now to let that survival behavior go.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

[dglwls5]

While doing my fourth step, I placed my house, wife, and Christmas as a deep resentment. In one particular phase of my life, we were doing financially well. We were operating two successful businesses. So I built a nice home on 20 acres for the family. After nine long months, I finished the home. Upon completion, I was faced with infidelity and the death of our daughter on Dec. 26. Although it has been 14 years since that time, I still find it difficult to cope with buying or building a new home, as well as reminders of infidelity and the death of a child. It took 11 more years after those events before I got sober through the AA program.

I do have peace of mind today and a joy that transcends my understanding. For both, I am grateful. However, I must admit those old ruminations come back at times that are most inconvenient...kind of like my drinking behavior at family functions or business trips.

I am improving day to day as I practice these principles, and I accept the emotions today, rather than dulling the pain with alcohol and valium. As a matter of fact, by working through these emotions, I have begun to remember the good times we shared in our family. With exercises such as this and personally working with others who still suffer, I know I am not alone and this is doable together. Left to my own devices and alone, I know I will cease to love and live. Thank God I have a choice today!

Thanks for the share!

[bluidkiti]

February 24

Our Higher Power is in charge.

It's such a relief to give up our obsession to control, once we learn how. As we do to establish any new routine, we have to practice. In this case, we practice turning people and circumstances over to God. Our first reaction will be the familiar one, always. For so long we thought we had to be in charge. It's no wonder we felt crazy at times. We were trying to assure other people did the right thing, based on our perspective. Usually God, or they, had something else in mind.

Letting God hold the reins gives us a lot of extra time. We can narrow our focus to what we need to do today. And we can use our extra time to pray for the well-being of other people. Our payoff is feeling sane, peaceful, and rested at the end of each day.

I will enjoy the sanity of letting God take care of other people today. I'll just take care of myself.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

February 25

Our awesome responsibility to ourselves, to our children, and to the future is to create ourselves in the image of goodness, because the future depends on the nobility of our imaginings.
--Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

The world we live in depends on the responsible contributions each of us makes. And this world is just as good as are the many talents we commit ourselves to developing and offering. None of us is without obligation to offer our best to our family, friends, or strangers, if our hope is to live in a good world. The world can only be as good as each of us makes it.

Individually and collectively our power to mold the outer circumstances of our lives is profound. Our personal responses to one another and our reactions to events that touch us combine with the actions of others to create a changed environment that affects us. No action, no thought goes unnoticed, unfelt, in this interdependent system of humanity. We share this universe. We are the force behind all that the universe offers.

Whether I acknowledge the depth of my contribution is irrelevant. It is still profound and making an impact every moment and eternally.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

[oxyfree]

"Whether I acknowledge the depth of my contribution is irrelevant. It is still profound and making an impact every moment and eternally."

This really gave me strength today. Thanks

[bluidkiti]

February 27

Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
--Anonymous

We addicts need to be very careful when we feel worried because it can lead to relapse. So how can we stop worrying? We can take some clear steps.

First, we need to determine the root of our worry. If necessary, it may help to write down our problem. Second, we should answer these questions: How likely is it that this problem will actually happen? How serious is the problem? How much control do we have over it? Third, we need to make a plan. What could we do about the problem? What would this action solve? Sometimes the best thing we can do is let go. Fourth, we should talk it all over with our sponsor, someone who has faced worry and stays sober.

When we take these steps, we usually learn one of two things; there is a smarter way to handle the problem, or there is nothing we can do about it.

Prayer for the Day

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Today's Action

If I have a worry, I will follow the steps above. If I am not worried today, I will call my sponsor and talk about how the Serenity Prayer helps me avoid worry.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

[dglwls5]

The last two days I have been in the thick of clearing away the wreckage of my financial past. For me, financial matters can really disturb my peace of mind if I allow my alcological brain to step in. Today's thought emphasized to me that the steps do work in all my affairs and that a power greater than myself is at work securing my sanity. In the past such circumstances would have escalated to fatal proportions. Today, however, I am full of gratitude for the peace I have been granted to accept calamity with serenity, just for today.

[bluidkiti]

February 27

Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit – and man is his own gardener.
--John Leonard

Evil thoughts and destructive attitudes are not forced on us by fate. They are choices we make as we act and react to events in our lives.

Before the Program, when negative things happened, our first reaction was to choose to react negatively: "Life's not fair." "Why did that have to happen to me?" "I hate them for doing that." "I'm going to get even if it's the last thing I do." It is easy to react positively when good things happen. But we have often chosen to react negatively to even good events.

Good can be found in even the worst situations if we look for it. Bankruptcy can provide a fresh start. Defeat can allow rebuilding in a new and better way. Evil teaches us what is good. Death brings new life. Admitting our powerlessness finally gave us the freedom to make choices.

By choosing good thoughts and attitudes, the garden of my soul will thrive. By choosing bad ones, it will shrivel and die.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous