Today's Thought - September

[bluidkiti]

September 15

"We admitted we were powerless..."

Accepting that we cannot control other people's drinking is a huge step. We want what is best for them, don't we? Can't they see that? What we didn't understand before finding this program was that each individual is on a unique journey. What appears to us the best course to follow may not provide the lessons another person is here to learn.

And it may be dawning on us that one of our key lessons is how to give up trying to control someone else. Sometimes we believe we can control others because our goading or shaming gets them to give in and go along with our demands. However, we're really not in control. We are still powerless over them, and any time they want to make that clear, they will.

Accepting our powerlessness isn't a hopeless feeling at all, once we understand it. It offers us profound relief from the burden of responsibility for another person's life. In time this freedom will make us joyful.

Being in charge of only me today makes my day seem so much easier.

[bluidkiti]

September 16

Lying is done with words, and also with silence.

~Adrienne Rich

Most of us are fundamentally honest people who would not deliberately tell an untruth. But there are circumstances when we may fear to say all that we need to. In relationships, for example, we may allow confusion, discomfort, or resentment to build in ourselves or in a partner because of something we have left unsaid. We may assume that our feelings and wishes are known - or think that they somehow ought to be - when we haven’t spoken them aloud.

Whatever the context of a particular relationship - romance, friendship, sponsorship, work - we must never assume that others can read our minds. They cannot, any more than we know what they want, need, or believe if they have not said so. We needn't assume that we will look bad if we reveal our ignorance; in fact, we sometimes must be willing to keep asking questions until we understand a situation.

Today, I have the courage to communicate my needs and wants and to ask questions of others.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

[bluidkiti]

September 17

As a matter of fact, prayer is the only real action in the full sense of the word, because prayer is the only thing that changes one's character.

~Emmet Fox

Erica Jong has said that we are spiritual beings who are human. Praying and meditating are ways we take care of our spirit. Prayer and meditation are disciplines suggested by the Eleventh Step of Twelve Step recovery programs: Al-Anon, CoDA, Adult Children of Alcoholics, and others.

Prayer and meditation are not necessarily connected to organized religion. Prayer and meditation are ways to improve our personal relationship with a Higher Power to benefit ourselves, our life, and our growth. Praying is how we connect with God. We don't pray because we have to; we pray because we want to. It is how we link our soul to our Source.

We're learning to take care of our emotions, our mind, and our physical needs. We're learning to change our behaviors. But we're also learning to take care of our spirit, our soul, because that is where all true change begins.

Each time we talk to God, we are transformed. Each time we connect with our Higher Power, we are heard, touched, and changed for the best.

Today, I will practice prayer and meditation. Whether I feel desperate, uneasy, or peaceful, I will make the effort to connect with my Higher Power, at least for a moment today.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

[bluidkiti]

September 18

God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose. Take which you please - you can never have both.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Denial is sneaky and hard to detect. Like a chameleon, a denied reality tends to change color until it blends right in and seems to fit. Since we don't have to deal with what we don't see, we camouflage some truths that we're afraid will hurt or challenge us.

Some of us deny that anyone else ever lived in a family as dysfunctional as ours, or that our families were dysfunctional at all. Others insist only their siblings were affected, or only themselves. We may tell ourselves we're deliberating when we're really procrastinating. The varieties of self-deception are almost limitless.

Our talent for denial is an important reason for making friends in the program. We need people we can trust enough to tell us the truth - loving people who will say what needs to be said, even if it's uncomfortable at first to hear.

I recognize my need for honest feedback. I'm less afraid of openness than I used to be.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

[bluidkiti]

September 19

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

~Step Two of Alcoholics Anonymous

The Second Step pushes us to start believing in something other than ourselves. After facing that we are powerless in Step One, we feel vulnerable. What we do with our vulnerability is very important.

Hope is a power greater than us. We see others healing in the groups we attend, so we start to believe in a healing power. The power of the group is greater than us.

As we start to believe in hope, in our group, and in ourselves, we are slowly restored to sanity. When we were using alcohol and drugs, we knew our thinking and behavior were not balanced and sane, but we gave in because we had no hope. Now we have hope because we see that recovery creates a healthy life of sanity.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I see you in the smiles and serenity of people in recovery. Please restore me to sanity.
Today's Action

Today I will make a list of the ways my active addiction made my thoughts and actions insane and off-balanced.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*