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02-07-2024, 06:47 AM | #16 |
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Daily Reflections COMMITMENT Understanding is the key to right principles and attitudes, and right action is the key to good living. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 125 There came a time in my program of recovery when the third stanza of the Serenity Prayer -- "The wisdom to know the difference" -- became indelibly imprinted in my mind. From that time on, I had to face the ever-present knowledge that my every action, word and thought was within, or outside, the principles of the program. I could no longer hide behind self-rationalization, nor behind the insanity of my disease. The only course open to me, if I was to attain a joyous life for myself (and subsequently for those I love), was one in which I imposed on myself an effort of commitment, discipline, and responsibility. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day One drink started a train of thought that became an obsession, and from then on, we couldn't stop drinking. We developed a mental compulsion to keep drinking until we got good and drunk. People generally make two mistakes about alcoholism. One mistake is that it can be cured by physical treatment only. The other mistake is that it can be cured by willpower only. Most alcoholics have tried both of these and have found that they don't work. But we members of A.A. have found a way to arrest alcoholism. Have I got over my obsession by following the A.A. program? Meditation For The Day I will try to be unruffled, no matter what happens. I will keep my emotions in check, although others about me are letting theirs go. I will keep calm in the face of disturbance, keep that deep, inner calm through all the experiences of the day. In the rush of work and worry, the deep, inner silence is necessary to keep me on an even keel. I must learn to take the calm with me into the most hurried days. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be still and commune with God. I pray that I may learn patience, humility, and peace. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Seeing Is Believing, p. 47 The Wright Brothers' almost childish faith that they could build a machine which would fly was the mainspring of their accomplishment. Without that, nothing could have happened. We agnostics and atheists were sticking to the idea that self-sufficiency would solve our problems. When others showed us that God-sufficiency worked with them, we began to feel like those who had insisted the Wrights would never fly. We were seeing another kind of flight, a spiritual liberation from this world, people who rose above their problems. Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 52-53 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Mental Arguments are bad Thinking____Serenity Again and again we hear that bad thinking and drinking are linked together. Bad thinking is any line of thought that tends to be destructive. Mental arguments are in that class because they destroy peace of mind and self-control. We can avoid them by learning acceptance and maintaining serenity at all costs. Sometimes we engage in mental arguments with those who seem to have defeated us or put us down. This only gives more life to the hurt we have been feeling: in effect, we cooperate in hurting ourselves repeatedly. Even the satisfaction of letting ourselves "win" the mental argument doesn't really settle the matter. We can maintain our serenity in all situations by accepting people as they are. We are not responsible for changing their opinions. We must also accept and dismiss past mistakes and failures, no matter who was at fault. We owe it to ourselves not to destroy another moment's happiness with futile mental arguments that serve no good purpose in our lives. Once we dismiss mental arguments, we can give our time and attention to things that really matter. I will not waste a single second on any kid of mental argument. Anything another person said or did is forgiven and forgotten, and it has no power to hurt me a second time. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Friendships, like marriages, are dependent on avoiding the unforgivable.---John D. MacDonald We need to remember that relationships are made up of people---people who are strong, but also fragile. We don't break easily, but we do break. We need to be aware of how fragile relationships are. Don't say something that will hurt others even if it's honest. It's mean to be honest with someone, without showing that you care for the person's feelings. We can learn to be honest without being cruel. The backbone of any relationship is this: we need to honor the rules and agreements we make. If we promise to be faithful to someone, we follow this rule. And we need to trust the other person to do the same. When we see that our agreements don't work, we need to go to that person and talk about them. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me become a person who honors rules and agreements in my relationships. Actions for the Day: I'll make no promises today that I will not keep. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Within our dreams and aspirations we find our opportunities. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh Our dreams beckon us to new heights. All that we may need is the courage to move toward them, taking the necessary steps to realize those dreams. Trusting that we will be shown the steps, one at a time, patiently waiting for the right step and right time is all we need to do, today. Our dreams, when they are for the good of ourselves and others, are invitations from God to spread our wings, to attempt new heights. Those dreams are part of the destiny designed for us. They are not happenstance. Our gifts are unique. Our contributions are ours alone. Our dreams reflect the contributions we are called on to make in this life. Our opportunities for fulfillment are varied and not always recognized as for our good. Again and again we need to turn to God, be patient, and trust that we are being called to offer something very special to those around us. No one of us has escaped a special plan. And everyone of us is inspired in particular ways, with particular talents. Our recovery is clearing the way for us to burst forth with our talents. I will be grateful for all that I am, for all that I have. And I will remember, what I give today to friends around me is mine only to give. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. Show him, from your own experience, how the queer mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power. Don’t, at this stage, refer to this book, unless he has seen it and wishes to discuss it. And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion. If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can—if he is not too alcoholic. But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself. p. 92 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. The mental state of the sick alcoholic is beyond description. I had no resentments against individuals- -the whole world was all wrong. My thoughts went round and round with, What's it all about anyhow? People have wars and kill each other; they struggle and cut each other's throats for success, and what does anyone get out of it? Haven't I been successful, haven't I accomplished extraordinary things in business? What do I get out of it? Everything's all wrong and the hell with it. For the last two years of my drinking, I prayed during every drunk that I wouldn't wake up again. Three months before I met Jackie, I had made my second feeble try at suicide. pp. 225-226 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. " The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear--primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone. p. 76 ************************************************** ********* What you are is God's Gift to you. What you become is your gift to God. Take time for solitude. How else can you contemplate the blessings of recovery. --Abby Warman In my pain I seek the comfort and guidance of my Higher Power. Grace and gratitude are the gifts I receive. --Rose Casey God does not require that we be successful, only that we be faithful. --Mother Teresa Spiritual experience is personal and individual. --Veronica Ray Like a loving parent, God prepares good things for us. --Einar Ingvi Magnusson ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation ENEMIES "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people." -- G. K. Chesterton The spiritual program that I embrace makes me look to where I am, rather than where I want to be. I must live in the now, rather than the never-never-land of tomorrow. To love my world I need to seek to understand those people who live in my world. To love my world involves an acceptance of those who are different from me. I must seek to build bridges, rather than barriers. It is so easy for me to talk about loving and being concerned for the starving millions and forgetting to love and relate to the typist in my office or the neighbor down the street. I have some experience of people who can be difficult because I lived with the addicted me for many years; I am the key to my enemies. Teach me to accept in love those who, for today, I do not like. ************************************************** ********* If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 1: 1-13 Show me Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; On You I wait all the day. Psalm 25:4-5 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration No troubles that we face are new to this world. Guide and protect me, Lord, and strengthen my faith and trust in You so that I will not falter. God gives us power, love and self-discipline, not fear and timidness. Lord, I will not be afraid to proclaim that You are my God. All will see it in my actions. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Faithful Feelings "When we refuse to accept the reality of today we are denying faith in our Higher Power This can only bring more suffering." IP No. 8, "Just for Today" Some days just aren't the way we wish they would be. Our problems may be as simple as a broken shoelace or having to stand in line at the supermarket. Or we may experience something far more serious, such as the loss of a job, a home, or a loved one. Either way, we often end up looking for a way to avoid our feelings instead of simply acknowledging that those feelings are painful. No one promises us that everything will go our way when we stop using. In fact, we can be sure that life will go on whether we're using or not. We will face good days and bad days, comfortable feelings and painful feelings. But we don't have to run from any of them any longer. We can experience pain, grief, sadness, anger, frustration- all those feelings we once avoided with drugs. We find that we can get through those emotions clean. We won't die and the world won't come to an end just because we have uncomfortable feelings. We learn to trust that we can survive what each day brings. Just for today: I will demonstrate my trust in God by experiencing this day just as it is. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Shame-filled people feel that something is wrong at their very core. It is a sense of being bad . . .. --Susan Kwiecien Nobody is rotten to the core. Whenever we start to believe we are bad all the way through, we can picture good things we have done, days when someone else was happy to be with us, and see for ourselves that we have many good points that outweigh the bad. If we have done something wrong, we must apologize and make amends. Making a mistake is not the same as being worthless. Mistakes are a natural part of living, not something to be ashamed of. Our freedom to make mistakes is one of our greatest assets, for this is the way we learn humility, persistence, courage to take risks, and better ways of doing things. All of us are valuable and lovable. How could we be otherwise? Since mistakes are natural aspects of growth, we can salute them in others and ourselves as signs of life and celebrate our ability to learn and to forgive. What mistakes have helped me grow? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Hatred is never anything but fear - if you feared no one, you would hate no one. --Hugh Downs On those occasions when we find the bigger man within, we are more generous in spirit toward others. But sometimes we think too much about what is wrong with others and how they ought to change. That is a form of hate. If we are searching for what we have power to change in our families, in our friendships, in the world, we can learn to be big enough to set aside our fears. Do we bear ill will toward someone today? When we are honest with ourselves, do we feel a sense of fear in relation to this person? What are we really afraid of? Perhaps the same person fears us. When we can do something about our fear, the hatred melts with no further effort. Then we are in touch with the bigger man within. I have the inner, strength to face my fears today. I will not send them outward as hatred. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Detachment The concept of letting go can be confusing to many of us. When are we doing too much or trying too hard to control people and outcomes? When are we doing too little? When is what we're doing an appropriate part of taking care of ourselves? What is our responsibility, and what isn't? These issues can challenge us whether we've been in recovery ten days or ten years. Sometimes, we may let go so much that we neglect responsibility to others or ourselves. Other times, we may cross the line from taking care of ourselves to controlling others and outcomes. There is no rulebook. But we don't have to make ourselves crazy; we don't have to be so afraid. We don't have to do recovery perfectly. If it feels like we need to do a particular action, we can do it. If no action feels timely or inspired, don't act on it. Having and setting healthy limits - healthy boundaries - isn't a tidy process. We can give ourselves permission to experiment, to make mistakes, to learn, to grow. We can talk to people, ask questions, and question ourselves. If there's something we need to do or learn, it will become apparent. Lessons don't go away. If we're not taking care of ourselves enough, well see that. If we are being too controlling, we'll grow to understand that too. Things will work out. The way will become dear. Today, I will take actions that appear appropriate. I will let go of the rest. I will strive for the balance between self-responsibility, responsibility to others, and letting go. Peace and relaxation flow through me with every breath that I take. --Ruth Fishel **************************************** Journey to the Heart The Answer May Be Right in Front of You It was late at night. I had just pulled into Chimayo, New Mexico. The streets were poorly lit, addresses and signs were difficult to see. I had been driving around for what seemed like hours, looking for an address. Finally, in desperation. I stopped the car, got out, and flagged someone down. A man stopped, but said he couldn’t help me. I was at my wits end. I turned around, staring frantically at the mailbox in front of me. To my surprise, I was right where I wanted to go. How often we wave our hands in panic and despair, certain the answer, the insight, the piece of information we need will never come. Yet often the answer we’re seeking is right in front of us. There’s a part of us, our heart, that knows where we’re going, knows what we need, knows what the next step is. Our heart will lead us on. Our soul will move us forward. Our instincts will take us home like a radar signal beaming us to safety. Feel your panic. Feel your frustration. But keep your eyes and your heart open. The answer may be closer than you think– maybe it’s right in front of you. **************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Joy is your destiny Adam fell that man might be, and men are that they might have joy. –Book of Mormon In the garden, original man was perfect, unchanging, never knowing sickness or the sorrow of separation. It was only after the fall that we could learn the contrast between joy and sorrow and truly learn what joy is. More than the absence of sorrow, it is the embrace of life in all its turmoil. To live joyously means living with full awareness of how impermanent each life on earth is– how precious each moment, each conversation, each sunrise is. Each day is the beginning of another new adventure, another opportunity to take a chance and live life to its fullest. Look around you. Find the joy in your world. After all, that’s why you’re here. God, help me find and create true joy and peace in my world. **************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day What about “justifiable anger?” If somebody cheats us or acts toward us in an outrageous manner, don’t we have the right to be furious? The hard-learned experiences of countless others in The Program tell us that adventures in rage are usually extremely dangerous. So, while we must recognize anger enough to say “I am angry,” we must not allow the build-up of rage, however justifiable. Can I accept the fact that if I am to live, I have to be free of anger? Today I Pray Even though I go out of the way to skirt them, may I be aware that there always will be certain situations or certain people who will make me angry. When my anger doesn’t seem justifiable — with arguable reason behind it — I may deny it, even to myself. May I recognize my anger, whether it is reasonable or not, before I bury it alive. Today I Will Remember It is alright to feel anger. **************************************** One More Day Every Soul is a melody which needs renewing. – Stephne Mellarme It may be difficult to admit how discordant our lives become at times — and even more difficult to restore a sense of peace. We may plunge into self-improvement programs with the idea that we, and we alone, can fix ourselves and ease our emotional pain. In doing this, we ignore the spiritual resources outside ourselves. We better understand and accept our human flaws now and find it easier to ask God for help. Occasionally we may feel inadequate or angry or frightened. We question and doubt ourselves; we get lost in the maze of our own emotions. But we know these feelings are only temporary and that the calming spiritual tempo of our lives is briefly being drowned out by the emotions of the moment. It is comforting to know the melody is always there. Today, I trust God to keep me in tune with the peace within. ************************************ Food For Thought Meetings We have proved that we cannot control our eating alone. Through OA, we have found a way that works, provided we work the program. If we become careless about attending meetings, we are thrown back on our own weakness. It is the OA meeting which gives us the hope and enthusiasm we need to continue in the program. The sharing and fellowship of the group provides strength and encouragement. In times of difficulty, most of us find that the more meetings we attend, the better able we are to cope. When we don't feel like going to a meeting, it may be because our old overeating habit is trying to surface. We are never cured of our disease and we never outgrow our need for the strength, fellowship, and love we receive from OA meetings. I give thanks for OA. ***************************************** One Day At A Time A TEENAGER'S PRAYER "I felt as if angels were pushing." Adolf Galland - on his first flight in a jet aircraft A letter from a TRG Teenager . . . . . Sometimes I feel I really can't take anymore, I really can't do it. I feel so alone. I feel no one cares. I just want to hide away and eat and eat until I am so sick I can't eat anymore. A minute at a time I got through my day, and it was so hard. Didn't anyone understand how hard it is to get through school with the teachers giving me a hard time. The other kids laughing at me in a corner, I know they are, I can feel them. They don't know what it's like to be me. And when I get home, I get even more of a hard time. But sometimes I feel so bad and I come here on my computer and share or I go to an online meeting, and I know I'm not alone after all. Someone cares, they really do. I feel heaps better and I suddenly realize that angels had pushed me through the day. And even though the day had been hard, I HAD got through it! I had a whole day of abstinence! Suddenly I feel so much better about myself, about you and about the world in general. One day at a time ... I will remember tonight. An angel walked with me today, and if I close my eyes and sleep, maybe, just maybe an angel will walk with me in my dreams. Anonymous ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. - Pg. 14-15 - Bill's Story Hour To Hour - Book - Quote There is no one with a 'better' program than another if they are clean and sober for we know that we are only one drink away from a drunk--each and everyone of us! May I realize that I am no better or worse than another, or them from me. We are equal in our recovery. Looking Toward What is Good I am a creative being. I have the power of reason, the ability to think, hope and dream. I can envision my life not only as it is, but as I might wish it to be. I can then think through the steps I might need to become more of who I wish to be. I have the power to think my way into a happy point of view, to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. My mind can be my greatest enemy or my greatest ally. It depends on how I choose to use it. I hold a beautiful vision of life - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'Rather than put a label on yourself as Christian, Jew, Moslem, Buddhist, or whatever, instead make a commitment to be Christ-like, God-like, Buddha-like and Mohammed-like.' -Dr. Wayne Dryer I make a commitment to be 'Twelve Step-like' today. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Real change requires real change. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Peace and relaxation flow through me with every breath that I take. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote An alcoholic is a fellow who is trying to get his religion out of a bottle, when what he really wants is unity within himself. Unity with God. - Bill W.
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02-07-2024, 06:52 AM | #17 |
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February 17
Daily Reflections THE LOVE IN THEIR EYES Some of us won't believe in God, others can't, and still others who do not believe that God exists have no faith whatever He will perform this miracle. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 25 It was the changes I saw in the new people who came into the Fellowship that helped me lose my fear, and change my negative attitude to a positive one. I could see the love in their eyes and I was impressed by how much their "One Day at a Time" sobriety meant to them. They had looked squarely at Step Two and came to believe that a power greater than themselves was restoring them to sanity. That gave me faith in the Fellowship, and hope that it could work for me too. I found that God was a loving God, not that punishing God I feared before coming to A.A. I also found that He had been with me during all those times I had been in trouble before I came to A.A. I know today that He was the one who led me to A.A. and that I am a miracle. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Alcohol is poison to the alcoholic. Poison is not too strong a word, because alcoholism leads eventually to the death of the alcoholic. It may be a quick death or a slow death. When we go by package stores and see various kinds of liquor all dressed up in fancy packages to make it look attractive, we should always make it a point to say to ourselves, so that we'll never forget it: That stuff's poison to me. And it is. Alcohol poisoned our lives for a long time. Do I know that since I am an alcoholic all liquor is poison to me? Meditation For The Day I must somehow find the means of coming nearer to God. That is what really matters. I must somehow seek the true bread of life, which is communion with Him. I must grasp at the truth at the center of all worship. This central truth is all that matters. All forms of worship have this communion with God as their purpose and goal. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may meet God in quiet communion. I pray that I may partake of the soul-food which God has provided for me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Live Serenely, p. 48 When a drunk has a terrific hangover because he drank heavily yesterday, he cannot live well today. But there is another kind of hangover which we all experience whether we are drinking or not. That is the emotional hangover, the direct result of yesterday's and sometimes today's excesses of negative emotion--anger, fear, jealousy, and the like. If we would live serenely today and tomorrow, we certainly need to eliminate these hangovers. This doesn't mean we need to wander morbidly around in the past. It requires an admission and correction of errors--now. 12 & 12, pp. 88-89 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Be Careful What you Pray for____Choosing the right goals. "Be careful what you pray for," the Old-Timers said, for you are likely to get it. While this sounds exciting, it's really an important warning. Prayers are currents of thought directed toward a goal. The goal must be something few want to live with once it is achieved. What often happens, unfortunately, is that we seek things that turn out to be shallow and even harmful after we get them. Such disillusionment has been the stuff of countless morality tales. Our bitter experiences with alcohol can also furnish lessons about the kinds of goals we should strive for in sobriety. Let's take an inventory if we find ourselves thinking that our happiness depends on certain people, places, or things. Our true happiness comes from our Higher Power and the right combination of love and service. With the right attitude, we can actually be happy under many kinds of conditions and with all sorts of people. What, then, should we pray for? "Knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out," is a prayer that puts things in proper order. Seek to do God's will, and you might be utterly amazed at the results. After all, it is God's pleasure to give you good things. I'll pray for knowledge of God's will today, while exercising prudence in all my affairs. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple . . . no one who learns to know himself remains just what he was before---Thomas Mann Deep inside, we all know that we're changing. It started when we took Step One. We learned and accepted something new about ourselves. That changed us, just a little. We no longer wanted to live as addicts. That meant we had to change and to learn to live sober. It's been nonstop ever since: learn about ourselves, change a little, learn about ourselves, change a little more, and so on. All we know is that each step of learning and changing makes life better. How long can it keep getting better? As long as we keep learning to know ourselves. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me about myself today. Teach me gently. Action for the Day: Today, I'll think about what I've learned about myself by working the program. I'll list five things. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning One can never pay in gratitude; one can only pay "in kind" somewhere else in life. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Life is a series of payments. The common expression, "What goes around, comes around," is a truth that governs each of our lives. As women and as members of the human family, we have received untold "payments" from others. On occasion, the payment may not have been one we'd have chosen for ourselves. It takes the distance of time to realize that our payments are meant for our good. And we can share the goodness; in fact, we need to share the goodness with one another. If we give to another the joy given to us, if we give to another the understanding given to us, if we give to another the friendship given to us, we will be ready to receive more in kind. You and I meet today to make payments. I will receive yours gladly. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. Keep his attention focussed mainly on your personal experience. Explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament. Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose. But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism because you offer a solution. You will soon have your friend admitting he has many, if not all, of the traits of the alcoholic. If his own doctor is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the better. Even though your protégé may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well. Let him ask you that question, if he will. Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that He does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles. When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Don’t raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are. pp. 92-93 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. This was the background that made me willing to listen on January 8. After being dry for two weeks and sticking close to Jackie, all of a sudden I found I had become the sponsor of my sponsor, for he was suddenly taken drunk. I was startled to learn he had only been off the booze a month or so himself when he brought me the message! However, I made as SOS call to the New York Group, whom I hadn't met yet, and they suggested we both come there. This we did the next day, and what a trip! I really had a chance to see myself from a nondrinking point of view. We checked into the home of Hank, the man who had fired me eleven years before in Mississippi, and there I met Bill, our founder. Bill had then been dry three years and Hank, two. At the time, I thought them just a swell pair of screwballs, for they were not going to save all the drunks in the world but also all the so-called normal people! All they talked of that first weekend was God and how they were going to straighten out Jackie's and my life. In those days we really took each other's inventories firmly and often. Despite all this, I did like these new friends because, again, they were like me. They had also been periodic big shots who had goofed out repeatedly at the wrong time, and they also knew how to split one paper match into three separate matches. (This is very useful knowledge in places where matches are prohibited.) They, too, had taken a train to one town and had wakened hundred of miles in the opposite direction, never knowing how they got there. The same old routines seemed to be common to us all. During that first weekend, I decided to stay in New York and take all they gave out with, except the "God stuff." I knew they had to straighten out their thinking and habits, but I was all right; I just drank too much. Just give me a good front and a couple of bucks, and I'd be right back in the big time. I'd been dry three weeks, had the wrinkles out, and had sobered up my sponsor all by myself! pp. 226-227 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God. The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility. It is really saying to us that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings just as we did when we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. If that degree of humility could enable us to find the grace by which such a deadly obsession could be banished, then there must be hope of the same result respecting any other problem we could possibly have. p. 76 ************************************************** ********* If you want to feel rich, just count the things money can't buy. --Cited in BITS & PIECES The alcoholic is in no greater peril than when he takes sobriety for granted. There is no place where God is not. --Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., Fire In The Soul A positive attitude can overcome most daily troubles. So wake up and set your mind to it, first thing every day. It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. --e. e. cummings When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. --Lao Tzu Whom do I need to forgive? --Suzannah Willingham ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation BELONGING "But one day when I was sitting quiet and feeling like a motherless child, which I was, it came to me that feeling of being part of everything, not separate at all. I knew that if I cut a tree, my arm would bleed." -- Alice Walker Today I am aware of the truth that I belong. I am an essential part of God's world. I share divinity because God made me. Today I choose to seek that spiritual center in me that is forever positive and creative. Today I am the center of my universe. Past hurts and wrongs cannot take away the uniqueness in my life. Past abuses and painful put-downs, my years of alternating between the lost child and the scapegoat in my family need not make me a victim today. Today I am free to choose recovery and an acceptance of self. Today I choose to associate with the winners of this world. Today I participate in creation by being a creative person for me. Yesterday's pain need not have any power in my life today. When I kneel before the stream, mountains and stars, I feel me. ************************************************** ********* Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14 Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. James 1:12 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration There is a purpose for our trials and burdens just as there is a purpose for the joys and wonders in our lives. Lord, grant me Your peace as Your plan for me unfolds. Thoughts are powerful, so pay close attention to what you think about. Lord, help me to think thoughts of love, peace and abundance so that this becomes my experience. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Carrying The Message, Not The Addict "They can be analyzed, counseled, reasoned with, prayed over, threatened, beaten, or locked up, but they will not stop until they want to stop." Basic Text, p. 62 Perhaps one of the most difficult truths we must face in our recovery is that we are as powerless over another's addiction as we are over our own. We may think that because we've had a spiritual awakening in our own lives we should be able to persuade another addict to find recovery. But there are limits to what we can do to help another addict. We cannot force them to stop using. We cannot give them the results of the steps or grow for them. We cannot take away their loneliness or their pain. There is nothing we can say to convince a scared addict to surrender the familiar misery of addiction for the frightening uncertainty of recovery. We cannot jump inside other peoples' skins, shift their goals, or decide for them what is best for them. However, if we refuse to try to exert this power over another's addiction, we may help them. They may grow if we allow them to face reality, painful though it may be. They may become more productive, by their own definition, as long as we don't try and do it for them. They can become the authority on their own lives, provided we are only authorities on our own. If we can accept all this, we can become what we were meant to be - carriers of the message, not the addict. Just for today: I will accept that I am powerless not only over my own addiction but also over everyone else's. I will carry the message, not the addict. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. There is glory In a great mistake. --Nathalia Crane Once there was a big girl who liked to play with little kids and their toys. One day she rode one of their small bikes and her foot slipped off the little pedal and her leg got caught and dragged along the sidewalk. She went home, limping and howling. Her mother put ice on the terrible scrape. The next day, the girl's mother told her she was too big for the little kids' toys. The girl looked up defiantly and said, "I can TOO ride that baby bike." The girl's mother didn't say anything else. She knew people must be free to make mistakes. We cannot protect another person from the experiences of the world. It would be harmful to both of us to try. What mistakes have I made more than once before I learned my lesson? You are reading from the book Touchstones. It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more "manhood" to abide by thought out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind. --Alex Karras In our culture, being a man often means being tough, having sexual prowess, and not showing feelings. We realize in this life of recovery that those are silly and immature myths, even though we see them repeatedly on TV, on billboards, and in newspapers. When we are told these things repeatedly, it makes an impact on us. So we need to hear from each other that this is not the way we wish to live. We don't admire these attitudes, and we don't believe the stories. Truly courageous men know themselves. They have been around enough to have depth to their souls, to let themselves love, and to feel the pain of life. Today, I am grateful to know and share my feelings and to have genuine relationships with those I love. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Acceptance Our basic recovery concept that never loses its power to work miracles is the concept called acceptance. We do not achieve acceptance in a moment. We often have to work through a mirage of feelings - sometimes anger, outrage, shame, self-pity, or sadness. But if acceptance is our goal, we will achieve it. What is more freeing than to laugh at our weaknesses and to be grateful for our strengths? To know the entire package called "us" - with all our feelings, thoughts, tendencies, and history - is worthy of acceptance and brings healing feelings. To accept our circumstances is another miraculous cure. For anything to change or anyone to change, we must first accept others, the circumstance, and ourselves exactly as they are. Then, we need to take it one step further. We need to become grateful for our circumstances or ourselves. We add a touch of faith by saying, "I know this is exactly the way it's supposed to be for the moment." No matter how complicated we get, the basics never lose their power to restore us to sanity. Today, God, help me practice the concept of acceptance in my life. Help me accept others, my circumstances, and myself. Take me one step further, and help me feel grateful. Even in moments of doubt I know that my Higher Power is guiding me on my path today. --Ruth Fishel **************************************** Journey to the Heart Who Empowers You? Most of us need people around us who empower and help us feel able, on track, in balance, hopeful. We need people who tell us we can. Even if they don’t use words, they believe in us and that belief comes shining through. We look at them and what we see reflected back is our own power. But sometimes we run into those who, instead, try to convince us of their power, convince us that they have our answers, that we need them to be able to see clearly, that without them, we won’t be able to find the way. They don’t believe in us, they only believe in themselves. That’s not empowerment. That’s an approach destined to create dependency, often unhealthy dependency. Cultivate relationships with people who make you feel like you can, who help you know that you’re on track, right where you need to be. Spend time with people who help you know that you can trust yourself. Seek out people who empower you. Learn to empower those you love. And during those times when no one’s around, know that you can empower yourself. **************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Lighten up “Mom, can I sleep over at Johnny’s house again tonight? Please?” Shane begged. “Why?” I asked. “For fun,” he said. “You just slept over last night,” I said. “Who said you can’t have fun two days in a row?” he asked. While ideas such as discipline and focus are undeniably important, so is the idea of having fun. With a small amount of effort, we can extract all the fun and joy out of most parts of our lives– our relationships, our work, even our leisure time. We can put so many restrictions and should’s on everything we do that our very lives become dull, overly ponderous and routine. Before long, we find ourselves living up to a set of rules– and we’re not certain where the rules came from or whose they are. I relented, and let Shane have the sleepover he asked for. He had fun. He had a lot of fun that entire year. So did I. Let yourself go. Have a little fun with life. Or, have a lot of fun with life. If you’ve spent years being extremely disciplined, reliable, and somber, maybe part of achieving balance is having a decade of fun. Dig out your goal list, the one you placed at the back of this book. Add another value to your list, have as much fun and joy as possible in the days, months, and years to come. It’s time to lighten up. God, please show me how to put ideas like fun and joy back into my life. Show me how to have more fun in work, in love, and in play. **************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day If I become angry today, I’ll pause and think before I say anything, remembering that my anger can turn back upon me and worsen my difficulties,. I’ll try to remember, too, that well-timed silence can give me command of a stressful situation as angry reproaches never can. In such moments of stress, I’ll remember that my power over others ins nonexistent, and that only God is all-powerful. Have I learned that I alone can destroy my own peace of mind? Today I Pray May I learn that I can choose how to handle my anger — in silence or a tantrum, a rage, a fist fight , a pillow fight, a tirade, and elaborate plan to “get back at” whoever caused it, an icy glare, a cool pronouncement of hate — or a simple statement of fact, “I am angry at you because ______” (in 25 words or less). Or may I , if need be, turn my anger into energy and shovel the walk, bowl or play a game of tennis, or clean the house. I pray that God will show me appropriate ways to deal with my anger. Today I Will Remember “I am angry because..” **************************************** One More Day Grace is the absence of everything that indicates pain or difficulty, hesitation or incongruity. – William Hazlitt It seems that, when we think of our lives are back on course, another obstacle appears and we stumble. In the case of physical illness, symptoms or pain may worsen or new problems may crop up. Other circumstances can make our stress level rise as well, until it feels as though we just can’t carry the burden anymore. Adjustments can be very difficult. With new symptoms we may feel that illness is chipping away, one tiny piece at a time, at our independence. It’s difficult to be gracious with so many complications going on. Yet this is the time to be gracious — to ourselves and to those around us. If I have ever needed to reach into my innermost being to find peace and contentment, it is now. I dislike what has happened to my body, but I can continue to be a gracious person. ************************************ Food For Thought Forgiving Ourselves We would like to be perfect, and when we make mistakes, it is hard to forgive ourselves. If we eat something not on our food plan, the resulting anger at our weakness may escalate a small slip into a full-scale binge. When we are under pressure and act foolishly or say something unkind to someone close to us, we may punish ourselves by eating or by sinking into a black mood. In order to get back on a positive track, we need to forgive ourselves and put the mistake behind us. It does no good to dwell on our weakness and rehash what we should have done and say "if only." In OA, we become humble enough to admit that we will never be perfect. We strive for progress. Forgiving ourselves is necessary so that we may make a positive change. As You forgive, may I forgive. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ CHANGES ~ They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. Andy Warhol Time changes things – but what things? Can I wait for time to change those ways of coping that don’t serve me anymore? Can I wait for time to make me abstinent? Yes, time will change things, but chances are that these will be the changes: my coping mechanisms will become even more entrenched and my eating even more destructive. I don’t really want to wait for that kind of change. When I joined OA, I started a new trend. I asked for the wisdom to understand which things I can change and then, armed with the tools of the program, I set about following my new trend of eating healthy and living a life where I don’t sit around waiting. I will not wait idly for things to get better. I will ask my Higher Power to guide me to make necessary changes. One Day at a Time . . . I will not wait idly for things to get better. I will ask my Higher Power to guide me to make necessary changes. ~ Isabella M. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatsoever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured -- these are the conditions we have found most effective. After such an approach many take up their beds and walk again. - Pg. 18-19 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Our 12 steps are dedicated primarily to the cultivation of principle in the befuddled addict's mind. Spiritual soundness leads to mental soundness. Even though we don't understand the process of our program to stop our cravings, we must trust that IT WORKS. I look at those around me, at their success and know that this process WORKS even if it isn't clear how. Seeing Perfection in What Is I see life as it is today. I do not ask that the world conform to my idea of perfection in order to love it. I see beauty and perfection in things as they are, not as I wish them to be. I forgive life for being imperfect. I forgive people for being imperfect. I forgive myself for being imperfect.I let life, people and me be what we are. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Recovery is a Process Not an Event. There will never be a graduation day for your new way of life. The more you learn and grow the more you will see that you have more to learn and grow. That is what Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve are all about. I learn to grow and grow to learn. My day of graduation is when I die. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book For our suggestions you have two choices: Take it or leave it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Even in moments of doubt I know that my Higher Power is guiding me on my path today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The road to recovery is always under construction. - Anon.
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February 18
Daily Reflections OUR PATHS ARE OUR OWN ... there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 25 My first attempt at the Steps was one of obligation and necessity, which resulted in a deep feeling of discouragement in the face of all those adverbs: courageously; completely; humbly; directly; and only. I considered Bill W. fortunate to have gone through such a major, even sensational, spiritual experience. I had to discover, as time went on, that my path was my own. After a few twenty-four hours in the A.A. Fellowship, thanks especially to the sharing of members in meetings, I understood that everyone gradually finds his or her own pace in moving through the Steps. Through progressive means, I try to live according to these suggested principles. As a result of these Steps, I can say today that my attitude towards life, people, and towards anything having to do with God, has been transformed and improved. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day After I became an alcoholic, alcohol poisoned my love for my family and friends, it poisoned my ambition, it poisoned my self-respect. It poisoned my whole life, until I met A.A. My life is happier now than it has been for a long time. I don't want to commit suicide. So with the help of God and A.A., I'm not going to take any more of that alcoholic poison into my system. And I'm going to keep training my mind never even to think of liquor again in any way except as a poison. Do I believe that liquor will poison my life if I ever touch it again? Meditation For The Day I will link up my frail nature with the limitless Divine Power. I will link my life with the Divine Force for Good in the world. It is not the passionate appeal that gains the Divine attention as much as the quiet placing of the difficulty and worry in the Divine Hands. So I will trust God like a child who places its tangled skein of wool in the hands of a loving mother to unravel. We please God more by our unquestioning confidence than by imploring Him for help. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may put all my difficulties in God's hands and leave them there. I pray that I may fully trust God to take care of them. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Out Of Defect. . . Strength, p. 49 If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that some day we will be immune to alcohol. << << << >> >> >> Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one's old life as a condition for finding a new one. 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 33 2. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 46 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Shining shoes for Subordinates Growing in Humility Did you ever hear of a man named Samuel Logan Brengle? He was a Salvation Army office whose spiritual consciousness was legendary. But he didn't start that way. A gifted ministerial student of the nineteenth century, he joined the Salvation Army only to find himself sent to a cellar to clean the shoes of other cadets___ most of them far below him in learning and intelligence. Brengle used that humbling experience to conquer his pride and resentment. He later recalled the utter joy he felt as he cleaned the shoes and prayed for each person. Later on, Brengle became an inspiration to thousands. It's not likely any of us will have to clean shoes for subordinates today. What's more likely is that we'll encounter situations that would our pride or churn up resentment. We can turn any such experience into an opportunity for growth by praying to see God's hand in the matter and refusing to fight about it. The peace and serenity we feel is our reward, and, like Brengle, we'll become better people who can be of real service to others. Somebody may come to me today with something that makes my blood boil. I won't be a doormat, but I will remember that I always have the choice of making anything a positive experience. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. Spanish proverb Gossip can kill the trust in a Twelve Step program. We all need to feel safe when we share our personal lives with others. We need to know our private business won't spread around. We can do two things to help keep the trust in our groups, and in the rest of our lives too. First, don't gossip. Second, don't listen to gossip about others. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me mind my own business today. Help me honor the trust of my friends by not gossiping. Action for the Day: Today, I'll think of two ways to stop someone from telling me gossip. Then, I'll put those ways to use. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning To keep your character intact you cannot stoop to filthy acts. It makes it easier to stoop the next time. --Katharine Hepburn Behaving the way we believe God wants us to behave sounds so easy on the surface. We don't willingly hurt others, do we? Or do we? . . . When did we last secretly burn with jealousy over another's good fortune or good looks? Has there been a time, recently, when we sulked for lack of attention . . . or perhaps picked a fight? We can simplify life from this moment forth. There is only one path to walk, one decision to make, in every instance, and all our burdens will be lifted, all our anxiety released. We can decide to act in good faith. We can be silent a moment with ourselves and let our inner guide direct our behavior, our words, our thoughts. Each of us knows, when we dare to let our spiritual nature reign, the right act in every case. Letting God choose our acts will ease our lives. No more obsessive confusion. No more regrets. No more immobility due to fear of wrong moves. Freedom is guaranteed when I depend on God to direct my behavior. Life's burdens are lifted. I will go forth today, doing God's will, and my Spirit will be light. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. His religious education and training may be far superior to yours. In that case he is going to wonder how you can add anything to what he already knows. But he well be curious to learn why his own convictions have not worked and why yours seem to work so well. He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is insufficient. To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action. Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion. Admit that he probably knows more about it than you do, but call to his attention the fact that however deep his faith and knowledge, he could not have applied it or he would not drink, Perhaps your story will help him see where he has failed to practice the very precepts he knows so well. We represent no particular faith or denomination. We are dealing only with general principles common to most denominations. pp. 93-94 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. Bill and Hank had just taken over a small automobile polish company, and they offered me a job--ten dollars a week and keep at Hank's house. We were all set to put DuPont out of business. p. 227 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Steps Eight and Nine are concerned with personal relations. First, we take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault; next we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done; and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know. p. 77 ************************************************** ********* "The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money." --Anonymous When we practice loving kindness towards others, we run out of willingness and generosity quickly if we think it all has to come from us. When we understand that love comes through us, there is an endless Source. --Mary Manin Morrissey "Don't worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they are always watching you." --Robert Fulghum, 20th-century American author When we walk in God's light, we are transformed. --Eleanor Park Kammer As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way. --Ralph Waldo Emerson ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation LAW "The life of the law has not been logic; it has been experience." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Today I respect the law. In this way I respect the society in which I live. I am not "an island unto myself". I live in a community and have a responsibility to myself and that community --- such is sobriety. For years I did what I wanted and tried not to be "found out". I was manipulative, dishonest and unhappy; to stay sick is depressing and exhausting. Then I decided to remove the pain. I accepted the disease and began to "change" my life. I discovered the "spiritual law" of freedom with responsibility. Law is the collective experience of the many who choose to live a certain way, and today I choose to live amongst them. My understanding of spirituality involves respecting the laws that give me the dignity of citizenship. O Lord, help me to see that in the laws of civilization is the gift of freedom. ************************************************** ********* "I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will tell of all thy wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in thee, I will sing praise to thy name, O Most High." Psalm 9:1-2 "O God, you are my God, I seek you, my soul thirsts for you." Psalm 63:1 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Ephesians 5:8-10 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Never be too busy to pray. Lord, without Your presence in my life, today would be barren. We don't choose how or when we will die, but we do decide how we will live. Lord, forgive my frequent drifting and help me to see clearly the best path for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Recovery Partnership "As long as I take it easy and make a commitment with my Higher Power to do the best I can, I know I will be taken care of today" Basic Text, p. 120 Many of us feel that our fundamental commitment in recovery is to our Higher Power. Knowing that we lack the power to stay clean and find recovery on our own, we enter into a partnership with a Power greater than we are. We make a commitment to live in the care of our Higher Power and, in return, our Higher Power guides us. This partnership is vital to staying clean. Making it through the early days of recovery often feels like the hardest thing we've ever done. But the strength of our commitment to recovery and the power of God's care is sufficient to carry us through, just for today. Our part in this partnership is to do the very best we can each day, showing up for life and doing what's put in front of us, applying the principles of recovery to the best of our ability. We promise to do the best we can&151not to fake it, not to pretend to be superhuman, but simply to do the footwork of recovery. In fulfilling our part of the recovery partnership, we experience the care our Higher Power has provided us. Just for today: I will honor my commitment to a partnership with my Higher Power. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. United souls are not satisfied with embraces, but desire to be truly each other. --Sir Thomas Browne If hugs could melt, if kisses were made of nothing but pure air, if talkers always agreed, and if hearts all beat to the same drum, would we desire any longer to be truly each other? No two leaves on a tree turn the same way in the wind; no two fish in a school tread the same water; and no two people can live the same life. Therefore, when we hug let's leave some space; when we kiss let's allow each other to breathe; when we talk let's permit each other to disagree; when we love let's honor each other's rhythm and way. Is it our similarities or differences that make us want to know each other better? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Love can be its own reward. --Arnold Label The feeling of attachment, of being related, of caring about someone, is what life is all about. Before recovery, we may have feared we could not love anyone. When we feel love, we may also feel cheated because our affections aren't returned, as we want them to be. Or we may think relationships are just too complicated and painful. It's true that relationships are difficult at times. The only thing more difficult is having none. In this quiet moment, let's reflect on our relationships. Close attachments to both men and women are essential to our progress. Without them, we would not be in recovery. We don't need to say to our friends, "What have you done for me?" We can feel an inner fullness and satisfaction, knowing we have relationships we truly care about and we are accepted as we are. That alone is a remarkable reward. I appreciate the joys my relationships bring. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Being Right Recovery is not about being right; it's about allowing ourselves to be who we are and accepting others as they are. That concept can be difficult for many of us if we have lived in systems that functioned on the "right wrong" justice scale. The person who was right was okay; the person who was wrong was shamed. All value and worth may have depended on being right; to be wrong meant annihilation of self and self-esteem. In recovery, we are learning how to strive for love in our relationships, not superiority. Yes, we may need to make decisions about people's behavior from time to time. If someone is hurting us, we need to stand up for ourselves. We have a responsibility to set boundaries and take care of ourselves. But we do not need to justify taking care of ourselves by condemning someone else. We can avoid the trap of focusing on others instead of ourselves. In recovery, we are learning that what we do needs to be right only for us. What others do is their business and needs to be right only for them. It's tempting to rest in the superiority of being right and in analyzing other people's motives and actions, but it's more rewarding to look deeper. Today, I will remember that I don't have to hide behind being right. I don't have to justify what I want and need with saying something is "right" or "wrong." I can let myself be who I am. Today I am establishing rapport with myself. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Your Body,Mind, and Soul Are One The body, mind, spirit, and emotions are more than just connected. They are one. To nurture the body is to nurture the mind, spirit, and emotions.To nurture the spirit is to nurture the body, mind, and emotions. And so it goes, a continuous connection. A continuing whole. Do you feel fragmented? Have you disowned a part of yourself? Invite it back. Maybe you’ve focused too heavily on one part and neglected others. You can be a world-class athlete and still not be in touch with your soul. You can be skilled at dealing with any emotion that comes along, and yet not see the delicate connection between that emotion and your conscious thoughts and beliefs. Or you may be so focused on tending to the needs of your spirit and mind that you neglect your body– resent it and think of it as a limitation. Tend to each aspect of the whole. Do things that nurture your spirit, perhaps spend time in prayer and meditation or time with nature. Work on what you believe; clarify the thoughts that run through your head. Nurture yourself emotionally. Let yourself heal from the feelings of the past, and do what you need to stay current and clear. Listen to your body and give it what it needs– it’s not separate and apart, it’s not a nuisance. It’s the form your spirit created to experience the gift of life. Find that place of balance in nurturing all parts of you. Then life will begin to be magical and you’ll see what you believe. Your feelings won’t be a bother. They’ll fuel your life; they’ll be the passion that adds color and zest to your life. Your body will lead you instinctively into what you want and away from what you dislike. And the longer you travel the journey to the heart, the more you’ll discover and trust your soul. Start by becoming connected. If you love yourself and keep walking your path, soon you’ll see how connected you are. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Remember how to play We don’t stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing. –Herbert Spencer I was sitting in my back porch watching a group of children playing in the surf. As the waves came surging in, they would turn to face the shore on their body boards and paddle like heck to try to catch the wave. I watched the surf crash down on top of them, one by one. There would be nothing for a few moments but the torrent of water, and then a little while later a green foam board would pop up and a little while later, a laughing head and body. They’d shriek and laugh, then one by one turn around, go back out, and do it again. Later toward sunset, I saw two gray-haired men in ocean kayaks paddling near the shore. They would wait for the perfect wave and then paddle as hard as they could, trying to catch it and ride it into shore. Again I watched as the waves reared up and crashed down on the little boats. A kayak would get pushed up on the beach, followed a few moments later by a laughing gray-haired man, who would then paddle back out and do it again. I have a friend in his thirties who is determined to make it. He doesn’t know where he’s going; he just knows that he is going somewhere. And no, he doesn’t have time to go to a basketball game or Magic Mountain. He’s busy and doesn’t have time to play. I have a friend in his fifties. He’s in excellent health. He sits in his house, feeds the dog, and complains about the pain and the shortness of life. He doesn’t play because his poor body just isn’t what it used to be. We can play or we can not play. It doesn’t make any difference one way or another, except that at the end, you will have had a much more enjoyable time if you did. God, help me start having some fun. ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We learn in The Program that we cannot punish anyone without punishing ourselves. The release of my tensions, even justified, in a punishing way leaves behind the dregs of bitterness and pain. This was the monotonous story of my life before I came to The Program. So in my new life,k I’d do well to consider the long-range benefits of simply owning my emotions, naming them and thus releasing them. Does the voice of God have a chance to be heard over my reproachful shouting.? Today I Pray May I avoid name-calling, ego-crushing exchanges. If I am angry, may I try to assign my anger to what someone did instead of what someone is. May I refrain from downgrading, lashing out at character flaws of mindless abuse. May I count on my Higher Power to show me the way. Today I Will Remember Tod deal with anger appropriately. ****************************************** One More Day Self pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world. – Helen Keller Pity, either from ourselves or others, harms us. yet, sometimes, we allow it to happen. What we really need from others is empathy — for them to feel as if they were in our shoes. Pity can be a deep pit to fall into, and the climb back out is difficult. We can’t begin to make the ascent until we are fully aware of why we have allowed pity and self-pity to prevail. Maybe feeling sorry for ourselves has been easier than encountering the frustration that may come when we make an effort. The actions I take today will be based on growth for myself and will help me avoid self-pity. ************************************ Food For Thought Setting Priorities One of our slogans is "first things first." We cannot have or do everything; we must set our priorities and choose what means the most to us. Each of us needs to spend quiet time searching the inner self to determine which people, which activities, which tasks are most important. The results may surprise us. We may find that we are spending too much time with someone we really do not enjoy, preparing complicated meals which no one needs, working at a job which we dislike in order to make more money to buy more things. Do we really need the things? Do they enrich our lives or are they merely impressive? Because I am a compulsive overeater, abstinence is the most important thing in my life. Without it, I do not enjoy other people, I do not like myself, I do not work well. If abstinence does not come first, everything else suffers. May I remember that abstinence is my number one priority. ***************************************** One Day At A Time SERENITY God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. The Serenity Prayer My life before abstinence was a fight in the dark to stabilize my world and protect myself from more pain. Too much suffering was endured by this child. She never understood that she could ever come back into the Light. But, the fog is lifting now ... there are days of clarity and joy. How could she have known? She was too little. Circumstances change ... memories fade away ... I can be safe again ... I can allow myself to be me. I will work my program to secure the Light again in my world. One day at a time . . . I pray to understand that the stream of life keeps moving ... I will live in darkness no longer. Margaret ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote An illness of this sort -- and we have come to believe it an illness -- involves those about us in a way no other human sickness can. - Pg. 18 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It often happens that you won't know the role addiction played in your life until you stop using. You have replace roles now. Learning new skills, and this is done at meetings and with your sponsor, is a necessary step in adjusting to your new circumstances. Rather than see additional burdens in new tasks, I choose to see them as a breath of new life. Courage I will develop the courage necessary to meet life. I cannot possibly meet the challenges of my life without courage. Today I understand that courage is something I develop. Each time I go through an experience that stretches me, each time I hold my own feet to the fire, each time I discipline myself and hold myself to a slightly higher standard than before, I grow inside, I get a little bit stronger, I strengthen my own courage to meet the next challenge. I will I will grow in courage - Tian Dayton PhD Courage I will develop the courage necessary to meet life. I cannot possibly meet the challenges of my life without courage. Today I understand that courage is something I develop. Each time I go through an experience that stretches me, each time I hold my own feet to the fire, each time I discipline myself and hold myself to a slightly higher standard than before, I grow inside, I get a little bit stronger, I strengthen my own courage to meet the next challenge. I will I will grow in courage - Tian Dayton PhD "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book 'Choice, not chance, determines destiny. Time for Joy - Book - Quote 'Today I am establishing rapport with myself' - Peter Vegso Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Early in recovery. I heard Aldous Huxley give a lecture. Afterwards I went up to him, I had an AA pin on my lapel and he spotted it and he was ebullient and said;'I'm a friend of Bill W!' I didn't know Bill W, so I said: Mr. Huxley, what is God? and with this grin, he said; 'God is the inner experience of principles applied.' I said: ' Yeah...maybe you, didn't understand the question.' He said; 'You have a program, if you will apply those Steps, one day at a time, in your life, you will eventually have inner experiences that can't come about any other way. Then you won't have to ask that question because you will have the experience.' - Eddie C.
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February 19
Daily Reflections I'M NOT DIFFERENT In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the "high bottoms, " the women said they were different; . . . The Skid-Rower said he was different . . . so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. . . . nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 24 I cannot consider myself "different" in A.A.; if I do I isolate myself from others and from contact with my Higher Power. If I feel isolated in A.A., it is not something for which others are responsible. It is something I've created by feeling I'm "different" in some way. Today I practice being just another alcoholic in the worldwide Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Many things we do in A.A. are in preparation for that crucial moment when, walking down the street on a nice sunshiny day, we see a nice cool cocktail lounge and the idea of having a drink pops into our minds. If we've trained our minds so that we're well prepared for that crucial moment, we won't take that first drink. In other words, if we've done our A.A. homework well, we won't slip when temptation comes. In preparation for that crucial moment when I'll be tempted, will I keep in mind the fact that liquor is my enemy? Meditation For The Day How many of the world's prayers have gone unanswered because those who prayed did not endure to the end? They thought it was too late, that they must act for themselves, that God was not going to guide them. "He that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved." Can I endure to the very end? If so, I shall be saved. I will try to endure with courage. If I endure, God will unlock those secret spiritual treasures that are hidden from those who do not endure to the end. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may follow God's guidance, so that spiritual success shall be mine. I pray that I may never doubt the power of God and so take things into my own hands. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It A.A.: Benign Anarchy and Democracy, p. 50 When we come into A.A. we find a greater personal freedom than any other society knows. We cannot be compelled to do anything. In that sense our Society is a benign anarchy. The word "anarchy" has a bad meaning to most of us. But I think that the idealist who first advocated the concept felt that if only men were granted absolute liberty, and were compelled to obey no one, they would then voluntarily associate themselves in the common interest. A.A. is an association of the benign sort he envisioned. But when we had to go into action--to function as groups--we discovered that we also had to become a democracy. As our oldtimers retired, we therefore began to elect our trusted servants by majority vote. Each group in this sense became a town meeting. All plans for group action had to be approved by the majority. This meant that no single individual could appoint himself to act for his group or for A.A. as a whole. Neither dictatorship nor paternalism was for us. A.A. Comes Of Age, pp. 224-225 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Sticking with the winners____Prudence "Stick with the winners," newcomers are told at Twelve Step meetings. The real message of this statement is to share the attitudes and actions of people who are successful in living sober. No recovering person can have a successful day while dwelling on ideas that can be harmful. We'll meet people in the course of the day whose attitudes may appall us. We may work with people who are critical, gossipy, or resentful. It's not our duty to correct them or argue with them. We're wise, however, not to accept what we recognize as wrong thinking. Winners, in AA terms, are people who seek sobriety first and live up to the principles of the program. Seem them out for help in doing likewise. I'll try to associate with people who exemplify the highest and best in good attitudes. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Changing brings questions, and questions bring change. ---Anonymous What am I becoming? How do I know if what I'm doing is right? Is it best for me? We are full of questions. Often, times of question a are times of change. We are becoming something new, and there is always a little fear of change. Luckily, we don't need to know what we are becoming to find peace. What we need to know is what we believe in. And we'll become what we believe in. If we believe in sobriety, we'll be sober. If we believe in honestly, we'll struggle to be more honest. We must give ourselves the freedom of becoming. Becoming means we're on a trip, a journey. Over time, becoming takes on a comfort of its own. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, what am I becoming? I give up having to know the answer. All I need to believe is that You love me and will do what is best for me. Action for the Day: I'll ask lots of questions. Often, the question is more important than the answer. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently. --Agnes DeMille The day ahead offers us choices of many kinds--some big ones, many that will affect other persons close to us, a few that will have profound effects on our destiny. But no choice, no decision we make, will be wrong. A particular decision may lead us slightly astray. Down a dead-end path perhaps--but we can always turn back and choose again. We are seldom aware of the gravity of a particular choice at the time of making it. Only hindsight reveals the wisdom of an important choice. Nevertheless, no choice is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. And at the same time, no choice is all-powerful regarding our destiny. We are offered chances again and again for making the right choices, the ones that will most contribute to the bigger plan for our lives. I need not worry about today's opportunities for decision-making. I will listen to those around me. I will seek guidance in the messages coming to me. I will make the choices I need to, today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your recovery. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. Make it plain he is under no obligation to you, that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties. Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own. Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he needn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to. You should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for he has helped you more than you have helped him. If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding, you have perhaps made a friend. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. This is all to the good. The more hopeless he feels, the better. he will be more likely to follow your suggestions. p. 94 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. At that time the group in New York was composed of about twelve men who were working on the principle of every drunk for himself; we had no real formula and no name. We would follow one man's ideas for a while, decide he was wrong, and switch to another's method. But we were staying sober as long as we kept and talked together. There was one meeting a week at Bill's home in Brooklyn, and we all took turns there spouting off about how we had changed our lives overnight, how many drunks we had saved and straightened out, and last but not least, how God had touched each of us personally on the shoulder. Boy, what a circle of confused idealists! Yet we all had one really sincere purpose in our hearts, and that was not to drink. At our weekly meeting I was a menace to serenity those first few months, for I took every opportunity to lambaste that "spiritual angle," as we called it, or anything else that had any tingle of theology. Much later I discovered the elders held many prayer meetings hoping to find a way to give me the heave-ho but at the same time stay tolerant and spiritual. They did not seem to be getting an answer, for here I was staying sober and selling lots of auto polish, on which they were making one thousand percent profit. So I rocked along my merry independent way until June, when I went out selling auto polish in England. After a very good week, two of my customers took me to lunch on Saturday. We ordered sandwiches, and one man said, "Three beers." I let that sit too. Then it was my turn--I ordered, "Three beers," but this time it was different; I had a cash investment of thirty cents, and, on a ten-dollar-a-week-salary, that a big thing. So I drank all three beers, one after the other, and said, "I'll be seeing you, boys," and went around the corner for a bottle. I never saw either of them again. pp. 227-228 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." This is a very large order. It is a task which we may perform with increasing skill, but never really finish. Learning how to live in the greatest peace, partnership, and brotherhood with all men and women, of whatever description, is a moving and fascinating adventure. Every A.A. has found that he can make little headway in this new adventure of living until he first backtracks and really makes an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreckage he has left in his wake. To a degree, he has already done this when taking moral inventory, but now the time has come when he ought to redouble his efforts to see how many people he has hurt, and in what ways. This reopening of emotional wounds, some old, some perhaps forgotten, and some still painfully festering, will at first look like a purposeless and pointless piece of surgery. But if a willing start is made, then the great advantages of doing this will so quickly reveal themselves that the pain will be lessened as one obstacle after another melts away. pp. 77-78 ************************************************** ********* "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched... but are felt in the heart. --Hellen Keller "It is awfully important to know what is and what is not your business." --Gertrude Stein We need to let the old go, so the new can emerge. --Peggy Bassett The more I force things, the tougher my life gets. --Helen Neujahr My daily choice is to rise and shine or rise and whine. --Anonymous ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PREJUDICE "The chief cause of human errors is to be found in the prejudices picked up in childhood." -- Rene Descartes During the past few years I have begun to recognize how many of my prejudices were planted in childhood. Family, teachers, priests and "the neighborhood" passed on to me prejudices: " The Jews are bad because they killed Jesus." "Blacks are inferior to white people --- but you should be kind to them." "Women should obey the man of the house." "Gays are child molesters." "People who do not accept Jesus will not go to Heaven." "Sex is for having babies and you should not enjoy it." Today I live with the problem of knowing that these statements are untrue but a part of me is still affected by them. Today my spiritual program demands that I expose prejudice for the "hate-mail" that it is, and try to pass on to the next generation the joy that comes from love, acceptance and freedom. Let the children grow in freedom. ************************************************** ********* "For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me when you seek for me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13 The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him. Lamentations 3:24-25 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Joy is left if you rid your heart of all that pulls you down. Lord, help me to heal my spirit and grow from today's experiences. You have a responsibility to be the best that you can be. Lord, may I find a good balance in my life so that I neither neglect myself and my duties nor my responsibility to those that need or depend on me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Reservations "Relapse is never an accident. Relapse is a sign that we have a reservation in our program." Basic Text, p. 76 A reservation is something we set aside for future use. In our case, a reservation is the expectation that, if such-and- such happens, we will surely relapse. What event do we expect will be too painful to bear? Maybe we think that if a spouse or lover leaves us, we will have to get high. If we lose our job, surely, we think, we will use. Or maybe it's the death of a loved one that we expect to be unbearable. In any case, the reservations we harbor give us permission to use when they come true-as they often do. We can prepare ourselves for success instead of relapse by examining our expectations and altering them where we can. Most of us carry within us a catalog of anticipated misery closely related to our fears. We can learn how to survive pain by watching other members live through similar pain. We can apply their lessons to our own expectations. Instead of telling ourselves we will have to get high if this happens, we can quietly reassure ourselves that we, too, can stay clean through whatever life brings us today. Just for today: I will check for any reservations that may endanger my recovery and share them with another addict. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I have often thought morality may perhaps consist solely in the courage of making a choice. --Leon Blum Sometimes, trying to do the right thing isn't easy because it isn't what we want to do. For instance, we may want to sneak a cookie to take to bed with us, or we may want to stay out late. But is that the right thing to do? One way to tell is to think how we'll feel after we've done it. Will we be happy, or will we feel guilty because we know in our hearts it is wrong? On the other hand, how would we feel if we resisted the temptation? Perhaps we'd feel great because we'd know in our hearts we'd done the right thing. And don't we deserve to feel good about ourselves? Of course we do! How wonderful it is that our feelings can help us do the right thing when we're in doubt. Will I have the courage to follow my true feelings today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how. --Friedrich Nietzsche Our sense of purpose in life is not fixed in concrete. It changes from youth through all the stages of life. Often in the transitions to a new growth stage we are most confused. In the chaotic life created by our own addictive or codependent thinking, all meaning collapses around us. At these times we wonder, "What is the point?" "Does anything really matter?" We receive a why for our existence by participating in the whole of this world. We are sons, or fathers, or husbands, or brothers, or friends to very specific people - and to the rest of our community, extending to all of creation. Our sense of purpose may change when life circumstances change. We get married, for instance, and then say, "Now what?" Or a child is born, or a parent dies, or we become disabled. Each time we may be confronted again with the questions. Being open to contact with our world, keeping our barriers down so we stay in touch, restores our awareness of purpose. May I continue to respond to the changing phases in life - and be open to the renewal of purpose, which is here for me. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Our Path I just spent several hours with someone from my group, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. This woman insisted that the only way I would make progress in my program was to go to her church and succumb to her religious rules. She pushed and insisted, and insisted and pushed. She's been in the program so much longer than I have. I kept thinking that she must know what she's talking about. But it didn't feel right. And now I feel crazy, afraid, guilty, and ashamed. - -Anonymous The spiritual path and growth promised to us by the Twelve Steps does not depend on any religious belief. They are not contingent upon any denomination or sect. They are not, as the traditions of Twelve Step programs state, affiliated with any religious denomination or organization. We do not have to allow anyone to badger us about religion in recovery. We do not have to allow people to make us feel ashamed, afraid, or less than because we do not subscribe to their beliefs about religion. We do not have to let them do it to us in the name of God, love, or recovery. The spiritual experience we will find as a result of recovery and the Twelve Steps will be our own spiritual experience. It will be a relationship with God, a Higher Power, as we understand God. Each of us must find our own spiritual path. Each of us must build our own relationship with God, as we understand God. Each of us needs a Power greater than ourselves. These concepts are critical to recovery. So is the freedom to choose how to do that. Higher Power, help me know that I don't have to allow anyone to shame or badger me into religious beliefs. If they confuse that with the spirituality available in recovery, help me give their issue back to them. Help me discover and develop my own spirituality, a path that works for me. Guide me, with Divine Wisdom, as I grow spiritually. Today I will be aware not to judge myself when I feel less than perfect. I am beginning to love myself just as I am and that feels so nice. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Be Gentle with Your Heart On this road, this journey to the heart, you will see more, feel more, and be more than you’ve ever been before. Your heart is open, your spirit is alive. You’re open to all that the universe, life, and God hold for you. Because you’re that open, you are more sensitive than ever to people, energies, places, things. You are more sensitive to any unresolved issues in yourself and in those around you. You are open, more open that you’ve ever been. Comfort yourself. Wrap yourself up in a blanket of love and hope. Know that you will be feeling, seeing, and taking in a great deal. Know that you will be healing at a deeper level than ever before. Most of the time, this will bring joy. But an open heart is not one-dimensional, joy is not the only emotion it will embrace. Make room in your heart, room in your life, and time in your days to feel other feelings,too– anger, grief, fear, exuberance, tenderness, betrayal, and exhilaration– all the emotions an open heart feels. You’re more open than you’ve ever been. Take gentle, loving care of yourself. Be tender with your heart. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Make your own fun My house renovation project was way behind schedule. Spring was right around the corner. Stress was a pounding ache in the back of my head. Then we went to the toy store. “Oh, these will be great,” he said, grabbing two Nerf guns off the shelf. “And how about a bow-and-arrow set,too?” When we got home, we took some markers and drew a big target on the wall in the living room. We started shooting at it, but soon grew tired of that game and started shooting at each other instead. A friend walked in the front door. We shot him. Two in the belly and one to the forehead. He threw me into the hot tub. And I forgot that the ceiling wasn’t done, and that the walls weren’t painted, and that the carpet would have to be delayed. That night we had a barbecue, and our friends took out the markers and drew pictures of themselves, their experiences, and their hopes on the unpainted walls of the house that was behind schedule. And we laughed, and no one cared that the house was unlivable. We can’t always control the timing of our plans, but we can have fun along the way. Friends don’t care if the project is finished; they just want to be a part of the magic of life. Look at things from a new perspective. Laugh. Be grateful you’re where you are at this moment. Don’t worry about trying to hurry the future along. Look for the joy in life now. Maybe a visit to the toy store would help you,too. God, if I can’t see the joy in life, help me look again. Activity: Go to the toy store today. But something that appeals to you, or buy something ridiculous– a twirl-o-paint, an Erector set, a game of Operation, a bead-o-matic. Break out of your mold; look at life from a new perspective. Learn how to play, again. ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When a person says something rash or ugly, we sometimes say they are “forgetting themselves,” meaning they’re forgetting heir best selves in a sudden outburst of uncontrolled fury. If I remember the kind of person I want to be,m hopefully I won’t “forget myself” and yield to a fit of temper. I’ll believe that the positive always defeats the negative: courage over comes fear; patience overcomes anger and irritability; love overcomes hatred. Am I always striving for improvement? Today I Pray Today I ask that God, to Whom all things are possible, help me turn negatives into positives — anger into super- energy, fear into a chance to be courageous, hatred into love. May I take time out of remember examples of such positive-groom-negative transformations from the whole of my lifetime. Uppermost is God’s miracle; my freedom from the slavery of addiction. Today I Will Remember Turn negatives into positives. ****************************************** One More Day Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another. – John Dewey Accepting change is our lives is the basis of growth. To often, we’ve seen marks are razed, friends move away or die, we become ill. Eventually, we come to see change in a different light. For good or bad, or weather we approve or don’t approve, change will happen. The only thing we can control is our reaction to it. Change that is progress or growth, such as old landmarks disappearing and new ones being built or friends becoming involved in self-help groups, can be welcomed. Other changes which can’t be greeted with enthusiasm — losing friends or becoming ill — can at least be seen as random, not personal, consequences of human life. With this frame of mind, we are able to accept the challenges demanded of us. Changes in my life can encourage growth. ************************************ Food For Thought Responsibility for Whom? Before we came to OA, some of us felt responsible for seeing that others did what we thought they should do. By the time we took the Fourth Step, and often long before, we began to realize how manipulative we had tried to be. We may not have thought we could run the whole world, but we sometimes felt that we should maintain control over our little corner, at least. Through this program, we are learning that we can only be responsible for ourselves. We cannot change anyone else. We can only work on ourselves. No matter how good our advice is, it is useful to someone else only if that person desires and requests it. Learning that we are responsible to our Higher Power for ourselves alone lifts a heavy weight from our weak shoulders. We stop trying to decide what others should do and how they will react to what we do. We do the best we can, seeking guidance and direction from God, and then we leave the results to Him. Show me my area of responsibility, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ SELF KNOWLEDGE ~ We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves. Tom Robbins I always tried to do my best in everything I did. Studies, school, and managing my own family are some good examples. Being in control made it seem as though I always did as I was told, but I had a very difficult time Being on my own and thinking for myself. The talent I was born with gave me a good start at being an artist, but I couldn't seem to make a successful career out of it. I was scared and shy and didn't dare be on the forefront of making this talent into what I wanted it to be. When I started on my path to Recovery, I found that I was being too much of a perfectionist. I was always told to do things perfectly and I tried and tried but never seemed to satisfy my parents or the god of my childhood. So when I grew up I was so hard on myself that I lost the creativity I was born with. Creativity can't thrive in a hostile environment. One day while reading an author I liked, I read that I had to "get out of my own way". I was a dragon trying to do something creative and it didn't work. I have to learn to "rescue myself from myself" so I can do my art with the talents that are God-given. One day at a time ... I realize that if I want to see myself as I really am,I cannot stand in my own shadow. ~ Myrlene ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children. Their young minds were impressionable while he was drinking. Without saying so, they may cordially hate him for what he has done to them and to their mother. The children are sometimes dominated by a pathetic hardness and cynicism. - Pg. 134 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It is easier for us to blame others (parents, spouses, friends) for our addiction then it is to look at self. We must never forget that we drank that drink, snorted that coke, toked that joint, and took that fix. US. 'They' didn't do it. May I never forget that I used too many mind affecting chemicals because I have the disease of addiction! Other reasons are not causes. Everyone has problems yet not everyone suffers from addiction. Empowering My Own Day There are no victims, only volunteers. If there is something I don't like in the way things are going for me, I will see what I can change. I can change the subject if someone goes on and on about things that I don't want to talk about. I can change my routines and trade un-nourishing ones for nourishing ones, I can set boundaries with my time. My time is precious to me, it is all I have to call my very own. I won't throw it away and then blame someone else. I have a right to protect the quiet and pleasure in my day, to do more of those things that give me pleasure and fewer of things that run me down. If I am living up to my responsibilities, that is enough. I won't throw my time away with both hands - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Half measures do not avail us half, they avail us nothing. Am I willing to go to any length? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I know that I am doing the best that I can and I will be gentle with myself. I will watch what comes without struggle and will accept what is and adjust myself to it, rather than wanting it to be different than it is. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The difference between God and me is that God doesn't think he's me. - Anon.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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02-11-2024, 07:55 AM | #20 |
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February 20
Daily Reflections THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER At this juncture, his A.A. sponsor usually laughs. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26 Before my recovery from alcoholism began, laughter was one of the most painful sounds I knew. I never laughed and I felt that anyone else's laughter was directed at me! My self-pity and anger denied me the simplest of pleasures or lightness of heart. By the end of my drinking not even alcohol could provoke a drunken giggle in me. When my A.A. sponsor began to laugh and point out my self-pity and ego-feeding deceptions, I was annoyed and hurt, but it taught me to lighten up and focus on my recovery. I soon learned to laugh at myself and eventually I taught those I sponsor to laugh also. Every day I ask God to help me stop taking myself too seriously. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Liquor used to be my friend. I used to have a lot of fun drinking. Practically all the fun I had was connected with drinking. But the time came when liquor became my enemy. I don't know just when liquor turned against me and became my enemy, but I know it happened, because I began to get into trouble. And since I realize that liquor is now my enemy, my main business now is keeping sober. Making a living or keeping a house is no longer my main business. It's secondary to the business of keeping sober. Do I realize that my main business is keeping sober? Meditation For The Day I can depend on God to supply me with all the power I need to face any situation, provided that I will sincerely believe in that power and honestly ask for it, at the same time making all my life conform to what I believe God wants me to be. I can come to God as a business manager would come to the owner of the business, knowing that to lay the matter before Him means immediate cooperation, provided the matter has merit. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may believe that God is ready and willing to supply me with all that I need. I pray that I may ask only for faith and strength to meet any situation. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The Coming Of Faith, p. 51 In my own case, the foundation stone of freedom from fear is that of faith: a faith that, despite all worldly appearances to the contrary, causes me to believe that I live in a universe that makes sense. To me, this means a belief in a Creator who is all power, justice, and love; a God who intends for me a purpose, a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however little and haltingly, toward His own likeness and image. Before the coming of faith I had lived as an alien in a cosmos that too often seemed both hostile and cruel. In it there could be no inner security for me. << << << >> >> >> "When I was driven to my knees by alcohol, I was made ready to ask for the gift of faith. And all was changed. Never again, my pains and problems notwithstanding, would I experience my former desolation. I saw the universe to be lighted by God's love; I was alone no more." 1. Grapevine, January 1962 2. Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places A day of Acceptance Releasing the Past "We will not regret the past nor fear the future," goes one of the promises in Twelve Step programs. Neither the past nor the future should control what we're thinking and doing today. After all, if our higher power is everything, no person or action can be outside of this supreme control. Today, I will rise above anything that was said or done in the past. I will also hold the idea that the future is bright with promise, and that this promise will be fulfilled. Nobody's opinion or criticism can be unsettling to me if my beliefs and self-worth are anchored in my Higher Power. It's true that there might have been lots of wreckage in the past…. Even more recently when we have been living sober. It doesn't matter. I amazing ways, our higher power sometimes turns negative conditions into future benefits. This was actually what happened when our compulsive condition led directly to a new way of life. I will accept life today and will look for unexpected blessings. No person or group can keep me from good as I accept God's direction in my life. "In all your ways acknowledge [God who] shall direct your paths." I'll remember this frequently as I go about the day. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Let Go and Let God.---Twelve Step slogan Some days we might ask ourselves, Is it worth it? We feel alone. No one seems to care. Life seems hard. Recovery seems hard. This is when we need to slow down and take a look at what's going on. We're feeling this way because we're off our recovery path. We may be back into wanting people to see things our way. We want control. Remember, all problems are not our problems. All work is not our work. We can't have everything the way we want it. But we can do our part and let go of the rest. Than we can feel better. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me remember my only work today is to do Your will for me. It is not my job to be You. Action for the Day: I'll talk with my sponsor or a program friend today. I'll talk about how to deal with things that seems to pull me down. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently. --Agnes DeMille The day ahead offers us choices of many kinds--some big ones, many that will affect other persons close to us, a few that will have profound effects on our destiny. But no choice, no decision we make, will be wrong. A particular decision may lead us slightly astray. Down a dead-end path perhaps--but we can always turn back and choose again. We are seldom aware of the gravity of a particular choice at the time of making it. Only hindsight reveals the wisdom of an important choice. Nevertheless, no choice is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. And at the same time, no choice is all-powerful regarding our destiny. We are offered chances again and again for making the right choices, the ones that will most contribute to the bigger plan for our lives. I need not worry about today's opportunities for decision-making. I will listen to those around me. I will seek guidance in the messages coming to me. I will make the choices I need to, today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. He may rebel at the thought of a drastic housecleaning which requires discussion with other people. Do not contradict such views. Tell him you once felt as he does, but you doubt whether you would have made much progress had you not taken action. On your first visit tell him about the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book. p. 94 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. I had completely forgotten the January 8 when I found the Fellowship, and I spent the next four days wandering around New England half drunk, by which I mean I couldn't get drunk and I couldn't get sober. I tried to contact the boys in New York, but telegrams bounced right back, and when I finally got Hank on the telephone he fired me right then. This was when I really took my first good look at myself. My loneliness was worse than it had ever been before, for now even my own kind had turned against me. This time it really hurt, more than any hangover ever had. My brilliant agnosticism vanished, and I saw for the first time that those who really believed, or at least honestly tried to find a Power greater than themselves, were much more composed and contented than I had ever been, and they seemed to have a degree of happiness I had never known. pp. 228-229 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." These obstacles, however, are very real. The first, and one of the most difficult, has to do with forgiveness. The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done us. This is especially true if he has, in fact, behaved badly at all. Triumphantly we seize upon his misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own. p. 78 ************************************************** ********* God, please help me let go of my expectations and accept the gifts that you give me each day, knowing that there is beauty and wonder in each act of life. --Melody Beattie "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile." --Mother Theresa "Life has a way of creating roadblocks that end up as building blocks in our lives." --Doug Firebaugh "Turn your troubles into treasures. Learn from them and grow from them." --Mark Victor Hansen Teaching is the best way to learn. Leading by example is the best way to teach. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation CHRISTIANITY "Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car." -- Laurence J. Peter I cannot help but believe that the truth of Christianity is about bringing the world and mankind together, rather than creating divisions and resentments. It must be much bigger than what we do or say in any building. Christ's truth seeks to discover God in the splendor of His varied world. In this sense, Christianity is an aspect of the world's spirituality! My addiction made me a small man with a small god. Constantly focusing on the differences in the world stopped me from seeing the glaring similarities; my exclusiveness kept me a lonely man. The world of black and white, rather than shades of creative color, is a sick and dangerous world to live in. Jesus Christ reveals for me the "man for others"; the bridge by which reconciliation and harmony can be achieved. His message for me is not so much a series of dogmas as a revealed journey into Truth. In the created stranger, help me to discover the friend. ************************************************** ********* But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." 2 Peter 1:3 "A cheerful heart is good medicine..." Proverb 17:22a "Protect me, O God, for in you I take refuge." Psalm 16:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Prayer helps us see that God is not the cause of unpleasant happenings, but the healing of them. Lord, I trust in You for the right outcomes in all situations. Each day is new! Each day is an opportunity to start again and be our best selves. Lord, silence my old ways of thinking, my old habits, and my old tapes inside my head. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Powerlessness, Personal Responsibility "Through our inability to accept personal responsibilities, we were actually creating our own problems." Basic Text, p. 13 When we refuse to take responsibility for our lives, we give away all of our personal power. We need to remember that we are powerless over our addiction, not our personal behavior. Many of us have misused the concept of powerlessness to avoid making decisions or to hold onto things we had outgrown. We have claimed powerlessness over our own actions. We have blamed others for our circumstances rather than taking positive action to change those circumstances. If we continue to avoid responsibility by claiming that we are "powerless;" we set ourselves up for the same despair and misery we experienced in our active addiction. The potential for spending our recovery years feeling like victims is very real. Instead of living our lives by default, we can learn how to make responsible choices and take risks. We may make mistakes, but we can learn from these mistakes. A heightened awareness of ourselves and an increased willingness to accept personal responsibility gives us the freedom to change, to make choices, and to grow. Just for today: My feelings, actions, and choices are mine. I will accept responsibility for them. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Say what you like: say I'm ill, Say I broke my leg on the stairs, Say we've had a fire --T. S. Eliot Think of the trouble of excuses and lies. They force us to make ourselves sick, live with a whole broken leg, start some sort of slow burn. When we tell someone we're not at home, we have to hide in that place. When we invent a long line of lies, we have to memorize each one. It's easiest just to come clean, use plain and simple words, and speak true. When accusers spear us with their stares, we can disarm them by looking them right in the eye. Not only do lies deceive others, they keep us hidden from ourselves, and make our real reasons for the choices we've made seem unworthy, if we feel we can't express them. Better that we be truthful, even if a little pain results. Truth keeps communication lines open. Then, when someone really wants to know what's on our minds, we can simply open our hearts. Is anything too terrible to tell to a friend? You are reading from the book Touchstones. That's what happens when you're angry at people. You make them part of your life. --Garrison Keillor Our problems with anger and our problems in relationships go hand in hand. Some of us have held back our anger, which led to resentment of our loved ones. Some of us have indulged our anger and become abusive. Some of us have been so frightened of anger that we closed off the dialogue in our relationships when angry feelings came out. Some of us have wasted our energy by focusing anger on people who weren't really important to us. Do we truly want them to become so important? Yet, perhaps the important relationships got frozen because we weren't open and respectful with our anger. It isn't possible to be close to someone without being angry at times. We let our loved ones be part of our lives by feeling our anger when it is there and expressing it openly, directly, and respectfully to them - or by hearing them when they are angry. Then, with dialogue, we can let it go. I will be aware of those people I am making important in my life and will grow in dealing with my anger. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. You must do the thing you think you cannot do. --Eleanor Roosevelt How can we ever do that which seems impossible? Taking a class, quitting a job, leaving a destructive relationship behind, asking for help; none of these can we do alone or with ease. All of these we can handle when we rely on the help offered by the program, the help of one another, the help promised by our higher power. Tackling with God's help that which seems impossible, reduces it to manageable size. It also deflates the power our fears have given it. That which we fear grows in proportion to our obsession with it. The more we fear a thing, the bigger it becomes, which in turn increases our fear. How lucky we are that God awaits our call for the strength, the companionship that is guaranteed us! We are in partnership, all the way, every day, if we'd only recognize it. We can move toward and through anything. And the added benefit is that we come to trust our partnership. We soon know that all situations can be met. All experiences can be survived. Avoidance is no longer our technique for survival. A deep breath invites the inner strength to move through me. I will feel the exhilaration of God's power. And I will know the excitement of growth and peace. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Setting Our Own Course We are powerless over other people's expectations of us. We cannot control what others want, what they expect, or what they want us to do and be. We can control how we respond to other people's expectations. During the course of any day, people may make demands on our time, talents, energy, money, and emotions. We do not have to say yes to every request. We do not have to feel guilty if we say no. And we do not have to allow the barrage of demands to control the course of our life. We do not have to spend our life reacting to others and to the course they would prefer we took with our life. We can set boundaries, firm limits on how far we shall go with others. We can trust and listen to ourselves. We can set goals and direction for our life. We can place value on ourselves. We can own our power with people. Buy some time. Think about what you want. Consider how responding to another's needs will affect the course of your life. We live or own life by not letting other people, their expectations, and their demands control the course of our life. We can let them have their demands and expectations; we can allow them to have their feelings. We can own our power to choose the path that is right for us. Today, God, help me own my power by detaching, and peacefully choosing the course of action that is right for me. Help me know I can detach from the expectations and wants of others. Help me stop pleasing other people and start pleasing myself. I know that I am being led along a path of healing today. As I become more and more open to spirituality and recovery, My path becomes brighter and clearer every day. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Spread Your Wings and Fly I sat on the ground on a dirt road that wandered off a main highway in Idaho. I leaned against a tree and watched a mother eagle and her babies in a nest overhead. She fussed as she protected them, watching me closely, responding with her call to any noise she heard. She was very protective now, but someday it would be time to push them out of the nest. It would be time to teach them to fly. Many of us have been pushed out of the nest. Something unexpected happened, and our world changed. We may have fought valiantly to get back in the nest, to return to the safety of life as we knew it. But life had pushed us out. We had no choice but to flap our wings and learn to fly the best we could. See how magical this time has been? See how much you’ve learned? With all our fears and resistance, it has still been a grand and powerful time. You flailed around a bit, wondering who to trust. You tried to trust others, then found that didn’t work. Finally you understood. The very lesson you were learning was that of trusting yourself. You were learning to listen to and trust your inner voice. You were learning to open your heart. Despite all your fears, you have done a grand job. Look how much you’ve changed. See all the powers you’ve gained? You’ve opened up to your healing powers, your creative powers,too. You know and sense things in a way that used to seem beyond reach and now seems both magical and commonplace. Your instincts and intuition are finely tuned. Your inner voice is clear. And despite all your fears about being abandoned, you now see how much you are loved. When life pokes and prods you, it’s not punishment or abuse. You’re being pushed out of the nest. Spread your wings and take flight. See how well you can fly. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Take a side road Adventures don’t begin until you get into the forest. That first step in an act of faith. –Micky Hart We were driving along highway 166 in central California on another road trip. The trip had been a long one, started on the spur of the moment, as they usually are, and now we were anxious to get back home. Then we– Andy, Chip, and I– all saw it: a small road leading up into the mountains behind an open gate. It wasn’t on the atlas. The road turned to dirt. Cows lounged on the path and we had to wait for them to move out of the way. The GPS (Global Positioning System) got lost. The path degraded. We hit a patch of black mud and the truck struggled for a moment. Chipster gunned the motor and we leapt ahead. “Think we should turn around?” he asked. “No, this road must go somewhere,” said Andy. “Aaaah,” I said. We came to a small lake in the middle of the path. “You can make it,” said Andy, rolling up his window. “Aaaah,” I said. Chip switched into four-wheel drive and gunned the motor. Muddy water poured in through the open sunroof. Much later– after we moved rocks out of the way, splashed through more puddles, saw stunning views from a high ridgeline, and drove far too close to the edge of the cliff– we came across an old man pushing a bicycle up the road. We asked, “How much further is it to get out of here?” “Well,” he replied, “how far in have you come?” “We didn’t come in this way.” A puzzled look crossed his face. “How did you get here then?” “We drove over the ridge.” He shook his head in disbelief and walked on. Ten miles later we came to another gate. The cell phone started to work again. The GPS decided that we were still on the planet after all. Sometimes, we find the biggest adventures when we deviate from the map and drive through the gate into new territory just to see where it goes. God, help me remember that I don’t have to follow the map all the time. Give me the spirit of adventure. Bring a little woohoo into my life. ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We are often told in The Program that “more will be revealed.” As we are restored to health and become increasingly able to lve comfortably in the real world without using chemicals, we begin to see many things in a new light. Many of us have come to realize, for example, that our arch enemy, anger, comes disguised in many shapes and colors: intolerance, contempt, snobbishness, rigidity, tension, sarcasm, distrust, anxiety, envy, hatred, cynicism, discontent, self-pity, malice, suspicion, jealousy. Do I let my feelings get the best of me? Today I Pray May I recognize that my anger, like dancer at a masquerade, wears many forms of many faces. May I strip off it’s several masks and know it for what it is. Today I Will Remember Anger wears a thousand masks. ****************************************** One More Day This is a delicious evening, when the whole body is one sense and imbibes delight through every pore. – Henry David Thoreau We carry the memory of a soft spring rain within us even in a dry season. We remember the pungent fragrance of new mow grass, the chirping of crickets, the singing of birds. Such memories are important to us, but we’re increasingly determined to also create new ones. It takes some planning on our part to get out, but we know the experience is worth the effort. Our mobility maybe limited, or we might not be living in a place where we can commune with nature as easily as we did when we were younger. But we’re creative and find the joy of outdoors, on the stoop of our building or on a park bench. Zoos, nature preserves, and public parks give us a areas for today’s enjoyment and tomorrow’s memories. My illness imposes real limitations upon me; I will not impose artificial ones upon myself. ************************************ Food For Thought A Selfish Program We call our program a selfish one. It is something, which we want more than anything else, not only for weight loss but also for peace of mind. We do not join OA to please anyone else; our primary purpose is to do what is best for ourselves. Starting the program where we are, we take the aspects of it which apply to each current situation. We give to and share with our group, but we also remember that the best thing we can do for any other compulsive overeater is to practice our own abstinence. We have found that putting ourselves down does no good, either to ourselves or to anyone else. If for someone else we do something, which we sincerely believe is wrong for us, then our resentment is bound to come out sooner or later. When we were overeating compulsively, we often tried to hold down our resentment with food. Instead of honestly facing anger and hostility, we tried to make it go away by eating. The OA program gives us a better way to deal with negative emotions, and for selfish reasons we need this program! May I not be afraid to recognize my needs. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Secrets There were deep secrets hidden in my heart, never said for fear others would scoff or sneer. At last I can reveal my sufferings, for the strength I once felt in silence has lost all its power. Deidra Sarault I've heard it said in program that we are only a sick as the secrets we keep. If that is the case, then I was very sick when desperation forced me through the doors of ths wonderful fellowship. Not one of my friends or family knew what I was doing around food, as most of it was done in secret, and I was always careful to remove all the evidence. I couldn't believe that anyone would love me if they knew what I was doing around food, and felt that I was either really bad or totally crazy, or both. But for the first time ever, I was able to come clean about what I was doing around food, and I wasn't judged or frowned upon. The love and acceptance I have received here has been totally overwhelming, but in addition I found out that others had done the same or similar things to what I had done, and so for the first time ever, I felt that I wasn't alone. Not only have I been able to talk freely about my food and what I had been doing, as well as what it was doing to me, but in the fourth and fifth step, I was finally able to share with another person my darkest deepest secrets, that for years I'd thought had made me this terrible person. It was in fact in sharing all the things that I'd thought of as so bad, that I came to realise that it was only my magnifying mind that had made them appear so, and that in fact they really weren't bad at all. I would never have found that out, had I not been in this program, and I'm so grateful for the relief that sharing all these things has given me. One Day at a Time . . . I will learn to get honest and share with my sponsor and others in this program, all the things that are bothering me, whether it be food or other issues, so I can be relieved of the pain that all my secrets are causing me. ~ Sharon ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first. For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded. - pg. 127 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The professionals and counselors in our new life may appraise our situation better than us. They did not carry on a love affair with our drug of choice. Therefore, their evaluation of what the heck we are doing may be more nearly correct. May I have the ability to listen to those trying to help me; they honestly may be more objective than myself. Sincerity I will be sincere. I will pray with a true heart. I will greet life and the gifts it gives me with an appreciative heart. Today I will not ask life to be something I am not willing to be. I won't ask the world to shower blessings onto me that I am not willing to deserve by my own right action. I will be the goodness I wish to have - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote We may have the right to be wrong, but our steps teach us that we don't have the right to do wrong. When my only reason for doing something is 'because I have the right!' it usually turns out wrong. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book There are no chemical solutions to spiritual problems. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I know that I am being led along a path of healing today. As I become more and more open to spirituality and recovery, My path becomes brighter and clearer every day. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I wanted to be a writer. So I bought a pipe, a sports jacket with leather on the sleeves and a book on French. And I sat in the bar. I never wrote a line. - Anon.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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02-11-2024, 07:56 AM | #21 |
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February 21
Daily Reflections I'M PART OF THE WHOLE At once, I became a part--if only a tiny part--of a cosmos.... AS BILL SEES IT, p. 225 When I first came to A.A., I decided that "they" were very nice people--perhaps a little naive, a little too friendly, but basically decent, earnest people (with whom I had nothing in common). I saw "them" at meetings --after all, that was where "they" existed. I shook hands with "them" and, when I went out the door, I forgot about "them." Then one day my Higher Power, whom I did not then believe in, arranged to create a community project outside of A.A., but one which happened to involve many A.A. members. We worked together, I got to know "them" as people. I came to admire "them," even to like "them" and, in spite of myself, to enjoy "them." "Their" practice of the program in their daily lives--not just talk at meetings --attracted me and I wanted what they had. Suddenly the "they" became "we." I have not had a drink since. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day I go to the A.A. meetings because it helps me in my business of keeping sober. And I try to help other alcoholics when I can, because that's my part of my business of keeping sober. I also have a partner in this business and that's God. I pray to Him every day to help me keep sober. As long as I keep in mind that liquor can never be my friend again, but is now my deadly enemy, and as long as I remember that my main business is keeping sober and that it's the most important thing in my life, I believe that I'll be prepared for that crucial moment when the idea of having a drink pops into my mind. When that idea comes, will I be able to resist it and not take that drink? Meditation For The Day I will be more afraid of spirit-unrest, of soul- disturbance, of any ruffling of the mind, than of earthquake or fire. When I feel the calm of my spirit has been broken by emotional upset, then I must steal away alone with God, until my heart sings and all is strong and calm again. Uncalm times are the only times when evil can find an entrance. I will beware of unguarded spots of unrest. I will try to keep calm, no matter what turmoil surrounds me. Prayer For The Day I pray that no emotional upset will hinder God's power in my life. I pray that I may keep a calm spirit and a steady heart. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It To Guard Against A Slip, p. 52 Suppose we fall short of our chosen ideals and stumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth. It depends on us and on our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. These are facts out of our experience. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 70 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Unexpected Disappointments____Acceptance. As life unfolds, we sometimes get unexpected disappointments that seem undeserved -- the car breaks down, a business deal goes sour, or a close friend betrays us. As alcoholics, most of us don't handle such things too well. "Why me, Lord?" we often respond. Our best approach is simply to view life as a mixture of bitter and sweet, knowing that we've been given real mastery over conditions. We cannot always be sure that a disappointment really is as bad as it seems to be, and sometimes it can become a step toward our good. As one alcoholic phrased it, "some of the worst things that have happened turned out to be the best." It's good to face the day with optimism, with confidence, and even with some excitement about the opportunities ahead. If we're maintaining sober thinking, everything that happens today will be transformed into gains for tomorrow -- all our tomorrows. We're on a spiritual journey that goes far beyond anything we're doing here and now. I won't expect to be disappointed today, but I'll know that nothing can really upset or disturb me without my permission. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple It easier to speak of love, than to practice it. --Anonymous Do we help our neighbor who is in need? We must help when we see the need, not just when it fits our schedule. In the program, this becomes our goal. We work at helping out. For example, when someone is needed to run the meeting, we offer. We see that the needs of the group are also our needs. We are the group. Over time, the idea of service spreads to the rest of our lives. Maybe we help a family down the street. We start to see that we have something to offer the world; ourselves. We start to see that the needs of the world are also our needs. We are an important part of the world. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, make me quick to act when I see a need. Please don't let my fear stop me.. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list what I have to offer the world. I will think of two ways I can use these gifts my Higher Power has given me. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning We can never go back again, that much is certain. --Daphne DuMaurier Yesterday is gone, but its experiences will be reflected in those of today. We learned from both the good and the bad situations of yesterday. Where we travel today, likewise, will influence our direction tomorrow. We can't do over what has gone before, but we can positively incorporate all that life is offering us from this moment forth. We are moving toward greater understanding of life's mysteries with each experience. As today unfolds, we can be moved by the adventures. What we experience is ours alone and will contribute to the unfolding of our special destiny. We move forward, only forward. The doors behind us are closed forever. Facing what comes to us, with strength, is a gift from this program we share. Letting go of the yesterdays and the last years is another gift offered by this program. And trust that what we face along with what we let go will weave the pattern of our rightful unfolding--that is the ultimate gift given to us by this program. I need never go back again. I am spared that. My destiny lies in the future. And I can be certain it will bring me all that I desire, and more. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome. Give him a chance to think it over. If you do stay, let him steer the conversation in any direction he like. Sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once, and you may be tempted to let him do so. This is sometimes a mistake. If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him. You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform. Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help. p. 95 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. Peddling off my polish samples for expenses, I crawled back to New York a few days later in a very chastened frame of mind. When the others saw my altered attitude they took me back in, but for me they had to make it tough; if they hadn't I don't think I ever would have stuck it out. Once again, there was the challenge of a tough job, but this time I was determined to follow through. For a long time the only Higher Power I could concede was the power of the group, but this was far more than I had ever recognized before, and it was at least a beginning. It was also an ending, for never since June 16th, 1938, have I had to walk alone. p. 229 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Right here we need to fetch ourselves up sharply. It doesn't make much sense when a real tosspot calls a kettle black. Let's remember that alcoholics are not the only ones bedeviled by sick emotions. Moreover, it is usually a fact that our behavior when drinking has aggravated the defects of others. We've repeatedly strained the patience of our best friends to a snapping point, and have brought out the very worst in those who didn't think much of us to begin with. In many instances we are really dealing with fellow sufferers, people whose woes we have increased. If we are now about to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and all? p. 78 ************************************************** ********* Words are the most powerful drug used by mankind. --Cited in Even More of...The Best of BITS & PIECES I was led around by emotions rather than facts. Honesty is the absence of the intent to deceive. Every man must take time daily for quiet and meditation. In daily meditation lies the secret of power. No one can grow in either spiritual knowledge or power without it. --H. Emilie Cady No matter what is happening in your life, know that God Is Waiting for you with open Arms. Sometimes Love is just Love and can't be something you can analyze or even understand. "It doesn't matter if your on the right track, if you don't move, you'll get run over" --Will Rogers Today I know that I am doing the best I can and will be gentle with myself. I will watch what comes without struggle and will accept what is and adjust myself to it, rather than wanting it to be different than it is. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation ART "Only work which is the product of inner compulsion can have spiritual meaning." -- Walter Gropius I have developed, in my recovery, an awareness of the beauty of this world and an appreciation of what man can produce. Sobriety has made art accessible. Today I can see beauty in paintings, sculpture, music, literature and the natural "art" of nature. Spirituality is always creative and it is at the center of all that is good, noble and inspiring. Although I am not an artist, I can appreciate and have a feeling of "belonging" to the beauty of this world --- in a sense it all happens and takes shape through me. The rediscovery of spirituality has brought the world and the universe into my life. Help me to have the desire to recreate Your splendors through my experiences. ************************************************** ********* "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13 "I can do all things in Him who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13 "Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:8-9 "And do not keep striving for what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying.... Instead, strive for his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well." Luke 12:29,31 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration All the good things in life don't mean much if we fail to enjoy them. Lord, may I pause to notice my blessings and be joyful. Your last chance to do anything about today is right now. Lord, help me keep my thoughts on making this day better so that I build a good foundation for tomorrow. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Self-Pity Or Recovery - It's Our Choice "Self-pity is one of the most destructive of defects; it will drain us of all positive energy." Basic Text, p. 77 In active addiction, many of us used self-pity as a survival mechanism. We didn't believe there was an alternative to living in our disease&151or perhaps we didn't want to believe. As long as we could feel sorry for ourselves and blame someone else for our troubles, we didn't have to accept the consequences of our actions; believing ourselves powerless to change, we didn't have to accept the need for change. Using this "survival mechanism" kept us from entering recovery and led us closer, day by day, to self-destruction. Self-pity is a tool of our disease; we need to stop using it and learn instead to use the new tools we find in the NA program. We have come to believe that effective help is available for us; when we seek that help, finding it in the NA program, self-pity is displaced by gratitude. Many tools are at our disposal: the Twelve Steps, the support of our sponsor, the fellowship of other recovering addicts, and the care of our Higher Power. The availability of all these tools is more than enough reason to be grateful. We no longer live in isolation, without hope; we have certain help at hand for anything we may face. The surest way to become grateful is to take advantage of the help available to us in the NA program and to experience the improvement the program will bring in our lives. Just for today: I will be grateful for the hope NA has given me. I will cultivate my recovery and stop cultivating self-pity. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. We cannot do all things. --Virgil We are each limited in terms of time and energy. If we try to do too much, we do everything half-rate. How much better it is to clearly sort out what is really important to us, and then give ourselves to those things or people wholeheartedly. Famous writers have written about the difficulty of having more than one or two really good friends. That number seems so unimpressive if we equate popularity with the number of friends we have. If we want quality, we must accept our limitations. In this way we avoid wasting energy on unimportant tasks, on friends who aren't true or close, on goals which aren't what we really want. We can only commit ourselves wholeheartedly to a limited number of tasks and a limited number of people. Who are my truly good friends? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The readiness is all. --William Shakespeare Our concept of control was flawed. This program leads us into a New World. Here we meet the fact that we are powerless to change some aspects of ourselves. But we can become ready to be changed. That makes all the difference. When we accept this truth, we are already changed and we are more in line with nature and the universe. We can't make ourselves less perfectionistic, but we can become ready to let go of our demand for perfection. We can't force family harmony into our lives, but we can become more ready to be harmonious. We can't make a lasting love appear for us on command - we can become ready for such a relationship when the opportunities appear. Do we yearn for some change? How might we ready ourselves to receive it? Today, I will try to become ready for the help and change I most need in my life. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Living in the Present The present moment is all we have. Yes, we have plans and goals, a vision for tomorrow. But now is the only time we possess. And it is enough. We can dear our mind of the residue of yesterday. We can clear our mind of fears of tomorrow. We can be present, now. We can make ourselves available to this moment, this day. It is by being fully present now that we reach the fullness of tomorrow. Have no fear, child, a voice whispers. Have no regrets. Relinquish your resentments. Let Me take your pain. All you have is the present moment. Be still. Be here. Trust. All you have is now. It is enough. Today, I will affirm that all is well around me, when all is well within. It is exciting to know that I have all the strength I need today to do what is good and right in my life. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Let Love Be You can’t control love. It’s impossible. It’s like screaming and screeching and begging a rose to unfold faster, better, or differently. Love is an energy– an active, living force that runs its threads through all of life, through all of the universe. But we can’t control love. It is not its nature to be controlled. It’s futile to stand with our hands in our pockets and heels dug into the ground saying, I shall control the course of love, or I shall allow another to control me because I’m afraid love will go away. We can open our hearts and let love run through us. We can open our hearts and receive love. We can open our eyes and see universal love all around us, in places we never saw it before. We can awaken our souls and see that all these experiences have been lessons of love. Learning courage, faith, patience. Learning to love ourselves, when it looked and felt as if no one else did. Learning to express our creativity, express our emotions, and experience joy. Each one has been a lesson of love. We have learned to let love be and be open to what that is and the new direction it may lead us in. Love is a powerful living force that permeates the universe and funnels through us. We don’t lead it, it leads and guides us. Honor the guidance of your heart, and you will be honoring the guidance of love. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Say woohoo wherever you are I walked into the beach house after a day of work to find my friendly tormentors, Chip and Andy, standing by the window that drops down to the beach. Actually, Chip was standing next to the window; Andy was outside, hanging by a climbing harness. The rope led into the house and was tied off around one of the support beams. I didn’t ask what they were doing. I just grabbed the climbing harness that was lying on the floor at Chip’s feet and asked if I could try,too. Rappelling from the house down to the beach is not my ordinary activity. But sometimes, even the smallest, most ridiculous things can be a chance for a mini-woohoo. That night, I learned to rappel in the moonlight on the beach from the living room of my house. Be open to new experience in your life. If it isn’t life-threatening, maybe it’s okay, even if it is a little odd. Don’t be afraid to be ridiculous, look a little uncool, and even let out an aaah now and then. Have you had a woohoo lately? Have you got one on your list? Or maybe in your garage? Put on some Rollerblades, buy a surfboard, get out your sled. Order something new off the menu. Take a different road. Find the woohoo; then carry it with you into your ordinary world and let it lighten your spirit. Woohoos are the moments we’ll remember all our lives. God, help me lighten my spirit by putting a little woohoo into my daily life. ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Do I waste my time and energy wrestling with situations that aren’t actually worth a second thought? Like Don Quixote, the bemused hero of Spanish literature, do I imagine windmills as menacing giants, battling them until I am ready to drop from exhaustion? Today, I’ll not allow my imagination to build small troubles into big ones. I’ll try to see each situation clearly, giving it only the value and attention it deserves. Have I come to believe, as the seecond of the Twelve Steps suggest, that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity? Today I Pray God, keep my perspective sane. Help me to avoid aggrandizing petty problems, trying to much significance to casual conversations,making a Vesuvius out of an anthill. Keep my fears from swelling out of scale, like shadows on a wall. Restore my values, which became distorted during thee days of my chemical invollvement. Today I Will Remember Sanity is perspective. ****************************************** One More Day I will not keep myself from taking positive action. – K. O’Brien The inability to get going can sometimes plague us. Muscles that don’t work properly or joints that won’t bend can keep us from beginning the day as we once did, even if we have excellent intentions. Excellent intentions only, however, get us nowhere unless we act upon them. What we need is that extra measure of strength, drawn from some inner resource that we hold in store only for days such as these. Often those sources spring from our intense belief that we will make it through these difficult times. Gradually we recognize that our actions and reactions are becoming more positive. I try to reach a little bit further for the strength I need to fulfill my good intentions. ************************************ Food For Thought Serenity Serenity comes when we are tuned in to our Higher Power. Serenity enables us to take external circumstances in stride, even the most difficult ones. Serenity is a gift, which we are each free to receive daily. Turning our will and our lives over to God, as we understand Him encourages serenity. Staying in contact with our Higher Power as we go about our daily activities produces serenity. Practicing abstinence from compulsive overeating maintains serenity. In meeting after meeting, we hear people testify to the change that has come over them since they began the OA program. Circumstances which once would have sent them into a tailspin and into the refrigerator are now manageable. By the grace of God, they have been granted the serenity to accept the things they cannot change. May I grow in serenity. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ PROGRESS ~ " ... I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy." Marie Curie I have always been the queen of quick fix, so if I wanted something to happen, it had to happen today if not yesterday. So coming into the program was very hard for me, in that for the first time I have had to realise that recovery is not an overnight thing. For a perfectionist like me, that has been a very hard lesson to learn, in that I don't have to have perfect recovery. My journey in this program has been an up and down one, with many slips along the way, and everytime I have slipped, I have had to remember that I may think I'm a failure, but I'm only a failure if I fail to pick myself up. In the past if I made a mistake, I was a total and utter failure, but I know now that all I have to do each time is to pick myself up, dust myself off and start over. The other thing I've learned in the program is that I also always need to remember where I came from, and when I look back, I can see the progress I have made. My self esteem is growing, and even though I still seem to slip back into the old character defects from time to time, they are nowhere near as bad as in the past. I am able to forgive people whom I thought I would never be able to forgive, and I make amends whenever the need arises, and as a result my relationships with people have improved dramatically. One Day at a Time . . . May I remember that in this program, it is always progress and not perfection that counts. ~ Sharon ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote If a repetition is to be prevented, place the problem, along with everything else, in God's hands. - Pg. 120 - To Wives Hour To Hour - Book - Quote One of the games our mind plays with us during withdrawal is to suggest that if we were addicted to one chemical, that was our problem and maybe we could use another type of chemical to help us. But switching chemicals will insure that we never get well, because the disease is not a chemical--it is a dysfunction to any mind-affecting chemical. If I learn nothing else this hour, help me understand that the disease is not a drug but a reaction to drugs. Gifts Today I will be thankful for the many gifts that are mine. Life is a gift. Health is a gift. Love is a gift. Friends and family are gifts. If I take the time to say thank you, I have so many things to be thankful for. When I learn to say thank you, to give praise and gratitude, my life immediately feels more full. I embrace the gifts that surround me - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote We often hear 'turn it over.' This means turn over problems not under our control right now--whether they are with family, friends, work, or the law--we offer the things we cannot change to a Higher Power and LET GO. If I turn it over and don't let go, I'll be upside down! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Put one foot in front of the other. Time for Joy - Book - Quote It is exciting to know that I have all the strength I need today to do what is good and right in my life. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. - Judy Garland.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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February 22
Daily Reflections GUIDANCE ... this means a belief in a Creator who is all power, justice, and love; a God who intends for me a purpose, a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however... haltingly, toward His own likeness and image. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 51 As I began to understand my own powerlessness and my dependence on God, as I understand Him, I began to see that there was a life which, if I could have it, I would have chosen for myself from the beginning. It is through the continuous work of the Steps and the life in the Fellowship that I've learned to see that there is truly a better way into which I am being guided. As I come to know more about God, I am able to trust His ways and His plans for the development of His character in me. Quickly or not so quickly, I grow toward His image and likeness. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Now we can take an inventory of the good things that have come to us through A.A. To begin with, we're sober today. That's the biggest asset on any alcoholic's books. Sobriety to us is like good-will in business. Everything else depends on that. Most of us have jobs, which we owe to our sobriety. We know we couldn't hold these jobs if we were drinking, so our jobs depend on our sobriety. Most of us have families, wives and children, which either we had lost or might have lost, if we hadn't stopped drinking. We have friends in A.A., real friends who are always ready to help us. Do I realize that my job, my family and my real friends are dependent upon my sobriety? Meditation For The Day I must trust God to the best of my ability. This lesson has to be learned. My doubts and fears continually drive me back into the wilderness. Doubts lead me astray, because I am not trusting God. I must trust God's love. It will never fail me, but I must learn not to fail it by my doubts and fears. We all have much to learn in turning out fear by faith. All our doubts arrest God's work through us. I must not doubt. I must believe in God and continually work at strengthening my faith. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may live the way God wants me to live. I pray that I may get into that stream of goodness in the world. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It "Loners"--but Not Alone, p. 53 What can be said of many A.A. members who, for a variety of reasons, cannot have a family life? At first many of these feel lonely, hurt, and left out as they witness so much domestic happiness about them. If they cannot have this kind of happiness, can A.A. offer them satisfactions of similar worth and durability? Yes-- whenever they try hard to seek out these satisfactions. Surrounded by so many A.A. friends, the so-called loners tell us they no longer feel alone. In partnership with others--women and men--they can devote themselves to any number of ideas, people, and constructive projects. They can participate in enterprises which would be denied to family men and women. We daily see such members render prodigies of service, and receive great joys in return. 12 & 12, p. 120 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Staying on course___Power in purpose When riding in an airplane on automatic pilot, I marvel at the way the aircraft stays on course even while bouncing and shaking through pockets of turbulence. Even more significant is the pilot's calm indifference to these minor movements as he checks occasionally to make sure the plane continues on the right course. Many things that happen to us each day are no more important than the routine turbulence and aircraft encounters. But as sick, compulsive people, we sometimes view every disturbance as a terrible storm and become panicky or enraged over things that are of little consequence in the long run. "I could accept a major calamity, but a broken fingernail ruined my day," one speaker said at an AA meeting. We can set our lives on "automatic pilot" by choosing continuing recovery as our major goal and letting all things fall in line with that. The turbulence of ordinary living cannot deflect us from our true course if we calmly accept it as natural, unavoidable, and non-threatening. Even if a real storm blows up and gives us anxious moments, we can stay on the recovery course we have chosen. Disappointments and annoyances are part of the human condition. I will be cheerful and optimistic today even if I am bounced around a bit. There is within me an automatic pilot, through which my Higher Power leads me to continued recovery and true fulfillment as a person. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple To thine own self be true.--AA medallions Sometimes we hear that we have a "selfish program." Being "selfish" means that we ask for help when we need it. We only go to places that are safe for us, no matter what others are doing. Being selfish comes to mean safety for us. Being selfish doesn't mean we act like brats. We must act in ways that show respect and love---for ourselves and for others. being selfish means we do what is good for us. What is good for us? First, we have to save our lives by stopping our drinking and drugging. Next, we start working the Steps. We come to know a loving Higher Power. This is how we come to know our true self. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be true to myself and my values. Help me be "selfish" about spending time to talk with You each day. Action for the Day: I'll list ten ways I need to be "selfish" in recovery. If I get stuck, I'll be "selfish" and ask for help. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind. --Helen Keller Facing conditions we would like to change, letting go of people we wish were different, takes growth, patience, tolerance. We're so easily enticed into thinking we'd be happier, "If only he'd change," or "If I had a better job," or "If the kids would settle down." Yet we carry the seed of happiness within us every moment. Learning tolerance for all conditions will nurture that seed. Intolerance, impatience, depression, in fact, any negative attitude is habit-forming. Many of us in this recovery program continue to struggle with the habits we've formed. Bad habits must be replaced with new, good habits. We can develop a new behavior, one that pleases us, like smiling at every stranger in a checkout line. We can repeat it in every line. It becomes a habit and a good one. Toleration of others opens many doors, for them and for us. It nurtures the soul, ours and theirs. It breeds happiness. Those of us sharing these Steps are truly blessed. We're learning about love, how to give it and how to receive it. There are so many eyes I'll look into today that don't know love. I will give some away with unconditional tolerance. It's a gift--to myself and others. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurt some more. p. 95 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. Around this time our big A.A. book was being written and it all became much simpler; we had a definite formula which some sixty of us agreed was the middle course for all alcoholics who wanted sobriety, and that formula has not been changed one iota down through the years. I don't think the boys were completely convinced of my personality change, for they fought shy of including my story in the book, so my only contribution to their literary efforts was my firm conviction, being still a theological rebel, that the word God should be qualified with the phrase "as we understand him"--for that was the only way I could accept spirituality. p. 229 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." When listing the people we have harmed, most of us hit another solid obstacle. We got a pretty severe shock when we realized that we were preparing to make a face-to-face admission of our wretched conduct to those we had hurt. It had been embarrassing enough when in confidence we had admitted these things to God, to ourselves, and to another human being. But the prospect of actually visiting or even writing the people concerned now overwhelmed us, especially when we remembered in what poor favor we stood with most of them. There were cases, too, where we had damaged others who were still happily unaware of being hurt. Why, we cried, shouldn't bygones be bygones? Why do we have to think of these people at all? These were some of the ways in which fear conspired with pride to hinder our making a list of all the people we had harmed. pp. 78-79 ************************************************** ********* If you find a flaw in someone else it means that you first found the flaw in yourself, otherwise you would not have recognized it. Forgiveness is the way to true health and happiness. By not judging, we release the past and let go of our fears of the future. In so doing, we come to see that everyone is our teacher and that every circumstance is an opportunity for growth in happiness, peace and love. --Gerald G. Jampolsky Whoever makes no mistakes is doing nothing. --Dutch Proverb Today, I will take time to smell the flowers. Joy isn't the absence of pain - it's the presence of God. Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. --Dorothy Galyean Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey! --Barbara Hoffman God is making something wondrous of my life. --Anita J. McIntosh God calls us in the small choices of each day. --John Covington ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PATRIOTISM "For us, patriotism is the same as the love of humanity." -- Mohandas Gandhi Today I am on the side of mankind. I am convinced that my welfare is generated by the peace and stability of the world. The love and joy that produces spiritual growth stems from my relationships in the world: we cannot exist alone. Today I strive to bring the world and people together; we must not seek to be the same but rather rejoice in the richness of difference. Drugs always divide, separate and isolate; spirituality unites. Today I am an optimist for mankind because of what has happened in my own life. Thank You for a humanity that can be shared. ************************************************** ********* Let the wise listen and add to their learning and let the discerning get guidance. Proverbs 1 : 5 "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." Psalm 62:5 Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait on the Lord. Psalm 31:24 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When you need to feel better about yourself, do something nice for someone else. Lord, help that I may make someone's day a little happier. To have courage, think courageous, act courageous, and pray to God for courage. Lord, You are full of love for all who come to You. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today God's Will, Or Mine? "We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." Step Ten In Narcotics Anonymous, we've found that the more we live in harmony with our Higher Power's will for us, the greater the harmony in our lives. We use the Tenth Step to help us maintain that harmony. On a daily basis, we take time to look at our behavior. Some of us measure each action with a very simple question: "God's will, or mine?" In many cases, we find that our actions have been in tune with our Higher Power's will for us, and we in turn have been in tune with the world around us. In some cases, however, we will discover inconsistencies between our behavior and our values. We've been acting on our own will, not God's, and the result has been dissonance in our lives. When we discover such inconsistencies, we admit we've been wrong and take corrective action. With greater awareness of what we believe God's will for us to be in such situations, we are less likely to repeat those actions. And we are more likely to live in greater concord with our Higher Power's will for us and with the world around us. Just for today: I wish to live in harmony with my world. Today, I will examine my actions, asking, "God's will, or mine?" ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. --Anne Frank In the face of being hunted for extermination, Anne Frank could write this from her hiding place in an attic. Was she naive? No. She deeply believed in the goodness of creation and the goodness of all creatures, including those who persecuted and murdered her people. Somehow, young as she was, Anne Frank knew a truth we sometimes lose: that it is not what people do that makes them good or evil. It is who they are. And for Anne Frank, all people are made in the image of God--and therefore, deep down at their core, must be good. She was able to see through the brutality and hatred to that true creation of God. We are left in awe at such faith and love. But we can draw from it too, and when our brother or sister or parent or child does something to hurt us, we can remember Anne Frank's ability to see what is good. We can look beneath the hurtful actions and forgive. Can I forgive someone who has hurt me today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. --Seneca When we reach a stressful time in our lives, our vision gets narrow. We fail to see the options and possibilities we have. If we give ourselves over to our worries and fears, our sight closes down even further. Finally, we reach the point of blindness to reality and to all the support around us. In our fearful blindness we say with conviction, "This is too difficult! There is nothing I can do." The spiritual man strives to keep one eye on the horizon, even in a worrisome situation. He breaths deeply so he does not tighten up or closes off his exchange with the world. He returns to the relationship he has with his Higher Power, trusting the process to carry him through, and he opens his eyes to quietly take in the possibilities before him. Close to my Higher Power, I have a place of calm in the midst of difficulty and see the possibilities and dare to act upon them. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Solving Problems I ask that You might help me work through all my problems, to Your Glory and Honor.' --Alcoholics Anonymous Many of us lived in situations where it wasn't okay to identify, have, or talk about problems. Denial became a way of life our way of dealing with problems In recovery, many of us still fear problems. We may spend more time reacting to a problem than we do to solving it. We miss the point; we miss the lesson; we miss the gift Problems are a part of life. So are solutions A problem doesn't mean life is negative or horrible. Having a problem doesn't mean a person is deficient. All people have problems to work through. In recovery, we learn to focus on solving our problems. First, we make certain the problem is our problem. If it isn't, our problem is establishing boundaries. Then we seek the best solution. This may mean setting a goal, asking for help, gathering more information, taking an action, or letting go. Recovery does not mean immunity or exemption from problems; recovery means learning to face and solve problems, knowing they will appear regularly. We can trust our ability to solve problems, and know we're not doing it alone. Having problems does not mean our Higher Power is picking on us. Some problems are part of life; others are ours to solve, and we'll grow in necessary ways in the process. Face and solve today's problems. Don't worry needlessly about tomorrow's problems, because when they appeal, well have the resources necessary to solve them. Facing and solving problems working through problems with help from a Higher Power means we're living and growing and reaping benefits. God, help me face and solve my problems today. Help me do my part and let the rest go. I can learn to be a problem solver. God is guiding me on my path to self-sufficiency and independence today. As I become willing to let go of my feelings of inferiority and weakness, my Higher Power gives me all the strength that I need for all that comes up for me today. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Magic Is in the Air I left Washington’s Hob Rain Forest, pausing near the moss-covered trees. My walk through Moses Park had indeed been a trip to an enchanted forest. Centuries-old trees, trees covered with mossy hair, shared their stories with me. Felled trees lying on their backs beckoned me to touch, to sit, to rest a while. Sunlight glistened through the entangled underbrush. The air smelled of nature’s sawdust. The ground was warm, moist. Nature sprites danced and played along the path. The birds serenaded me with calls, whistles, and songs, like sounds emanating from a flute. Magic was in the air. We can visit places that are magical to us, enchanted forests that remind us of life’s wonders. We can visit them knowing that when we leave, we take their magic with us. We’ll see more and more of life’s wonders in ourselves, in others, in the world we live in. People will appear in our lives at just the right time, saying the very words we need to hear. A book will speak to us. A new way to earn money will be revealed. A loved one may leave to follow his or her own path, and a new love will come into our lives. Old issues will be resolved. Healers will show up on our path. Ideas will come to us, seemingly out of the blue. They’re gifts from the universe. We can have them whenever we want and wherever we go. Come with me to the enchanted forest. Trust the magic in the air; it is real. Take it with you wherever you go, for the magic you feel and want is yours if you simply believe. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Stop throwing that blame around “There are two kinds of people in the world,” a friend explained to me one day. “There are the ones who blame other people for everything that happens. And there are the ones who blame themselves.” Have you ever watched a movie where one of the actors used a flamethrower? In a movie I watched one day, they called this instead a “blame thrower.” It’s a lit torch of fiery rage that we throw at either others or ourselves when situations don’t work out the way we planned. Blaming can be a healthy stage of grieving or letting go. But staying too long in this stage can be unproductive. It can keep us from taking constructive action. Blaming ourselves too long can turn into self-contempt; blaming others can keep us heavy and dark with resentments, and fuel the victim within. If you’re going through a loss, or if life has twisted on you, pick up your blame thrower– in the privacy of your own journal. Give yourself ten or twenty minutes to blame without censorship. Get it out. Write out everything you want to say, whether you’re throwing blame at someone else or at yourself. It may take longer if the loss is larger, but the point is to give yourself a limited amount of time for a blame-throwing session, then cease fire. Stop. Move on to the next stage in living, which is letting go, accepting, and taking responsibility for yourself. God, help me search myself to see if I’m holding on to blame for myself or someone else. If I am, help me get it out in the open, then help me let it go. ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When I came to The Program, I found people who knew exactly what I meant when I spoke finally of my fears. They had been where I had been; they understood. I’ve since learned that many of my fears have to do with projection. It’s normal, for example, to have a tiny “back-burner” fear that the person I love will leave me. But when the fear takes precedence over my present and very real relationship with the person I’m afraid of losing, then I’m in trouble. My responsibility to myself includes this: I must not fear things which do not exist. Am I changing from a fearful person into a fearless person? Today I Pray I ask God’s help in waving away my fears — those figments, fantasies, monstrous thoughts, projections of disaster which have no bearing on the present. May I narrow the focus of my imagination and concentrate on the here-and- now, for I tend to see the future through a magnifying glass. Today I Will Remember Projected fears, like shadows, are larger than life. ****************************************** One More Day The soul would have no rainbow Had the eyes no tears. – John Vance Cheney That familiar tightening in the throat, the welling of tears behind the eyes, and deep emotional pain are all signs of an intense need to cry. Why do we try so hard to be “brave little soldiers” and not cry when our bodies are screaming for release? If we hide behind false smiles and continue to keep the well of emotion untapped, eventually that well will go dry. Deprived of this natural outlet, our minds and bodies exhaust themselves as they battle tension and stress. We lose our ability to express ourselves emotionally. There may be no more opportunity for tears. Tears cleanse and allow other emotions to move in and take over until we need to cry again. Crying releases me and gives me the freedom to experience my full range of feelings. ************************************ Food For Thought Spirituality Ours is a program for living spiritually as well as physically. We have found that without daily spiritual nourishment we feel an emptiness, which no amount of material things can fill. We have also found that when we were overeating and were physically glutted, we were less receptive to spiritual food. In Step Eleven, we seek to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand Him. We do this through daily prayer and meditation. Our contact with our Higher Power is most effective and satisfying when we are carrying out the physical part of the program by maintaining abstinence. When we came into OA, most of us wanted to eat less in order to lose weight. As we grow through the Twelve Steps, we gradually learn that eating less physical food enables us to make more spiritual progress. The rewards of working the OA program are far greater than we had imagined! The spiritual food, which we receive from our Higher Power, begins to satisfy the emptiness which we had foolishly tried to fill with excess calories. Not only do we maintain abstinence in order to control our weight, but we also maintain it in order to grow in spirituality. May I remember to seek spiritual food. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ CHILDLIKE ~ Anxiety is the rust of life, destroying its brightness and weakening its power. A childlike and abiding trust in Providence is its best preventive and remedy. Tyron Edwards Like so many of us in OA, I grew up as a little adult. My parents didn't know better - treating me like an adult seemed a good way to them of both showing love to me and making their difficult post-war life easier. Providence was something that intervened once in a while, and in ways that were weighty and important. God was there - but God had to attend to serious matters. There was little room in God's and my parents' life for the seemingly unimportant details of a child's world. I had no trouble internalizing that message. I learned very soon that no-one was going to take care of my "little" problems and anxieties, that I had to shove them out of the way, and that I could do that very well by daydreaming, by making sure I was the little adult my parents were so proud of - and by eating. The trouble was that there were times when these coping mechanisms didn't work seamlessly and those anxieties would break through. Panic attacks were the result, and dogged attempts to do more of the insanity: more retreating from the world, more "adult" behaviour, more eating. One of the things I'm learning in recovery is that paradoxically, in order to really grow up, I need to risk the vulnerability of being more childlike. I need to learn that my Higher Power is not too busy worrying about world peace to listen and deeply care about my little booboos. I need to, I WANT to develop an abiding trust that I am safe with and cared for by my Higher Power, like a baby in a mother's arms. One day at a time ... I let go of the rust of anxiety so that like a child, I may marvel at and participate in the brightness and wonder of God's world. ~ Isabella ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. - Pg. 102 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It has been said that there are only two times you have to diligently work this program, the first 30 days and every day after that! Actually if you think about it, that only means one day, today. Help me work this program to the best of my ability today. Opening to the New Today I will be open to what life offers to me. The world comes to greet me like an old friend each morning. My daily habits comfort and ground me. The thought of moving into my day pleases me. Life unfolds one second at a time and today I will be present to witness it. How much of my life do I let pass by unnoticed? How many of my feelings go unfelt? Today I will recognize that my time on Earth is limited. I choose to value my life a day at a time and embrace it while I have it. I am open to life - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'You should not be esteemed by others if you have no real inner virtue.' -Dogen, The Pocket Zen Reader You get esteem by doing something esteeming. I never have to worry about low self-esteem when I do esteeming things. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Character is how we act when we think no one is watching. Time for Joy - Book - Quote God is guiding me on my path to self-sufficiency and independence today. As I become willing to let go of my feelings of inferiority and weakness, my Higher Power gives me all the strength that I need for all that comes up for me today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Wondering why I was an alcoholic was like being a man standing on a bridge, looking down at a gently flowing stream beneath. But my pants are on fire. And I'm saying: 'I wonder how these pants got on fire, was it hereditary or environmental?' Who cares. You jump in the water. - Doug D.
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February 23
Daily Reflections MYSTERIOUS PARADOXES Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one's old life as a condition for finding a new one. A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46 What glorious mysteries paradoxes are! They do not compute, yet when recognized and accepted, they reaffirm something in the universe beyond human logic. When I face a fear, I am given courage; when I support a brother or sister, my capacity to love myself is increased; when I accept a pain as part of the growing experience of life, I realize a greater happiness; when I look at my dark side, I am brought into new light; when I accept my vulnerabilities and surrender to a Higher Power, I am graced with unforeseen strength. I stumbled through the doors of A.A. in disgrace, expecting nothing from life, and I have been given hope and dignity. Miraculously, the only way to keep the gifts of the program is to pass them on. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Besides our jobs, our families, our friends and our sobriety, we have something else which many of us found through A.A. That's faith in a Power greater than ourselves, to which we can turn for help: faith in that Divine Principle in the universe which we call God and which is on our side as long as we do the right thing. There have been many days in the past when, if we had taken an inventory, we'd have found ourselves very much in the red, without sobriety and therefore without jobs, families, friends or faith in God. We now have these things because we're sober. Do I make one resolution every day of my life--to stay sober? Meditation For The Day Love the busy life. It is a joy-filled life. Take your fill of joy in the Spring. Live outdoors whenever possible. Sun and air are nature's great healing forces. That inward joy changes poisoned blood into pure, healthy, life-giving flow. But never forget that the real healing of the spirit comes from within, from the close, loving contact of your spirit with God's spirit. Keep in close communion with God's spirit day by day. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may learn to live the abundant life. I pray that I may enjoy a close contact with God this day and be glad in it. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It To Deepen Our Insight, p. 54 It is necessary that we extricate from an examination of our personal relations every bit of information about ourselves and our fundamental difficulties that we can. Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one. Calm, thoughtful reflection upon personal relations can deepen our insight. We can go far beyond those things which were superficially wrong with us, to see those flaws which were basic, flaws which sometimes were responsible for the whole pattern of our lives. Thoroughness, we have found, will pay--and pay handsomely. 12 & 12, p. 80 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places We always have choices Decision Making Self-pity is often rooted in the strong feeling that people or conditions have victimized us. "I never had a chance" and "You deceived me!" are common complaints that reveal self-pity. It is astonishing and humbling to learn that we always have choices, even when other people or bad conditions are grinding us down. One of the great discoveries of the Twelve Step movement is that alcoholics could begin to recover no matter how helpless they had become, no matter how far they had slid into defeat and despair. Once a decision was made to seek sobriety as a primary goal, other choices and decisions became possible. We choose our attitudes and responses. We have neither the power nor the right to control others, but we can choose to soften our attitudes toward them, and we can forgive and release people we don't like. We can always choose how we want to think and feel. It may take effort to break the habit of feeling victimized and sorry for ourselves, but our higher power will show us the way if we decide that is what we really want. Nobody can ruffle my feathers today or make me feel oppressed and victimized. I can always make choices that will enhance my sobriety and place me on a better footing for the days ahead. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Hitch your wagon to a star.---Ralph Waldo Emerson Millions of people are sober and have peace of mind through the Twelve Steps. Like the stars, the Steps are always there. At times, clouds block our view of the stars, but we know they are still there. Let's view the Twelve Steps the same way. It is said that the stars are the gate to heaven, that we pass through their beauty to get ready to enter heaven. The Twelve Steps are the gate to spirituality here on earth. We travel through their beauty on our way to a spiritual awakening. Hitch your wagon to the Steps, and get ready for the ride of a lifetime. Prayer for the Day: I pray to remember that the Steps keep me sober. I pray that I will follow where the Steps take me. Action For the Day: I'll look at the stars tonight. I'll think of them as symbols of my life touched by the Twelve Steps. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I want to dance always, to be good and not evil, and when it is all over not to have the feeling that I might have done better. --Ruth St. Denis Our wants in life may be simple, or they may be complex. They may yet be confused in our minds, but the clarity will come if we're patient. God has a way of giving us an "inner tug" when a certain direction beckons. Our responsibility is to follow that tug and trust it, fully. Too often we look back on our lives with regret. What is done, is done. We learned lessons from those mistakes. Every day is a new beginning. And we can close every day with no regrets when we have followed our consciences, that "inner tug" that beckons. The opportunities will come today. Opportunities to be good or evil. Opportunities for making choices over which we will feel good or full of regret at the day's close. Many of our choices will bring us closer to the satisfaction, the contentment with life, that we all search for as women, as human beings. We need not fear coming to life's close, wishing we had done more or better. Living each day in good conscience, waiting for the tug and following it, will ensure a life well lived. My ego can block out the tug, if I let it. Or I can trust. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within. p. 95 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. After the book appeared, we all became very busy in our efforts to save all and sundry, but I was still actually on the fringes of A.A. While I went along with all that was done and attended the meetings, I never took an active job of leadership until February 1940. Then I got a very good position in philadelphia and quickly found i would need a few fellow alcoholics around me if I was to stay sober. Thus I found myself in the middle of a brand new group. When I started to tell the boys how we did it in New York and all about the spiritual part of the program, I found they would not believe me unless I was practicing what I preached. Then I found that as I gave in to this spiritual or personality change I was getting a little more serenity. In telling newcomers how to change their lives and attitudes, all of a sudden I found I was doing a little changing myself. I had been too self-sufficient to write a moral inventory, but I discovered in pointing out to the new man his wrong attitudes and actions that I was really taking my own inventory, and that if I expected him to change I would have to work on myself too. This change has been a long, slow process for me, but through these latter years the dividends have been tremendous. pp. 229-230 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Some of us, though, tripped over a very different snag. We clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. Our families didn't suffer, because we always paid the bills and seldom drank at home. Our business associates didn't suffer, because we were usually on the job. Our reputations hadn't suffered, because we were certain few knew of our drinking. Those who did would sometimes assure us that, after all, a lively bender was only a good man's fault. What real harm, therefore, had we done? No more, surely, than we could easily mend with a few casual apologies. p. 79 ************************************************** ********* The Seven "T's" ... Take Time To Think The Thing Through. In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. --Anne Frank So, don't take for granted just what you see. Look under the mask, that's where the real person will be. --author unknown God is present in all things, even those events and circumstances that seem terrible. Within any circumstance is the seed that can bear the fruit of the greater good, if we are willing to ask God to lead us in bringing forth that good. --Mary Manin Morrissey Laughter is the sound of recovery. "It doesn't matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. What matters most is getting off! You cannot make progress without making decisions." --Jim Rohn "You can accomplish virtually anything if you want it badly enough and if you are willing to work long enough and hard enough." --Brian Tracy "The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination." --Tommy Lasorda ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation THOUGHT "I was a free-thinker before I knew how to think." -- George Bernard Shaw All of us are influenced by somebody. Not to be influenced is to remain an ignorant person. Most of us hinder our thinking, particularly around spiritual things, because of pride. We don't like change. We find it hard to accept attitudes and opinions that differ from our own. Pride keeps us deaf and often stupid. However, the daily program of a lived spirituality encourages a variety of opinions and attitudes. We can learn from different customs, lifestyles and religions. We can be helped in our understanding of life by the stranger. I know that I do not have all the answers. Perhaps you carry my answers. Today I am prepared to listen to you. God, the sustainer of all religions and philosophies, help us to discover You in our differences. ************************************************** ********* It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 "But he said, 'What is impossible with men is possible with God.'" Luke 18:27 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration There is no better time than right now to do what we have been putting off. Lord, grant me motivation and focus that I may live so as to have no regrets about what I should have done. If you feel the need to get even, try getting even with those that have helped you. Lord, free me from any thoughts of revenge because this only shuts the door to my own happiness. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Messages And Messengers "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities." Tradition Twelve The Twelfth Tradition reminds us of the importance of putting "principles before personalities." In recovery meetings, this might be paraphrased, "don't shoot the messenger!" We often get the message confused with the messenger, and negate what someone shares at a meeting because we have personality conflicts with the person speaking. If we are having problems with what certain people have to share at meetings, we might want to seek the guidance of our sponsor. Our sponsor can help us concentrate on what's being said rather than who's saying it. Our sponsor can also help us address the resentments that may be keeping us from acknowledging the value of some particular person's recovery experience. It is surprising how much more we can get out of meetings when we allow ourselves to do as our Twelfth Tradition suggests, focusing on recovery principles rather than personalities. Just for today: I will practice the principle of anonymity in today's NA meeting. I will focus on the message of recovery, not the personality of the messenger. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. A person's best ally is someone who takes care of herself. --Susan Clarke Once there was a little girl who was learning to walk. The trouble was, her mother wouldn't let her fall down. Every time she was about to fall, her mother would rush over and catch her. It was hard to learn how to walk if she couldn't fall down, but the girl was too little to be able to tell her mother. Her mother thought she was taking care of her when in fact she was keeping her from learning to take care of herself. Letting her fall would have shown trust in the child, trust that she could get up. It would have taught her that she wasn't so fragile that she couldn't recover if she hurt herself. We are all like this mother once in a while, protecting one another from important lessons in life. This doesn't mean we have to let someone get seriously hurt, but that we allow each other the freedom to learn and grow in individual ways. What will I be able to learn from my little stumbles today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A man who studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green. --Francis Bacon Where do we direct our energy? Are we spending time and thought on how we have been wronged? On the unfairness of life? Those who consume their resources in this way have few left for growth and development. Their wounds stay open for years, and they block the healing. What will we need to set aside our resentments and hateful attitudes? Perhaps we have been passively waiting for the other guy to make amends. That only puts our enemies in charge of us. It would be better if we could say; "I am going to move on. The change that is needed for me to heal will come from within me. I will not put my happiness in another's hands." More than revenge, we want a life worth living - for ourselves and the ones we love. We can give our energies to that. Lift from me the desire for revenge. Replace it with the fullness of a healed life. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Strength We don't always have to be strong to be strong. Sometimes, our strength is expressed in being vulnerable. Sometimes, we need to fall apart to regroup and stay on track. We all have days when we cannot push any harder, cannot hold back self doubt, cannot stop focusing on fear, cannot be strong. There are days when we cannot focus on being responsible. Occasionally we don't want to get out of our pajamas. Sometimes, we cry in front of people. We expose our tiredness, irritability, or anger. Those days are okay. They are just okay. Part of taking care of ourselves means we give ourselves permission to "fall apart" when we need to. We do not have to be perpetual towers of strength. We are strong. We have proven that. Our strength will continue if we allow ourselves the courage to feel scared, weak, and vulnerable when we need to experience those feelings. Today, God, help me to know that it is okay to allow myself to be human. Help me not to feel guilty or punish myself when I need to "fall apart." Today I have the courage to own my own unhappiness, daring to look within to discover its source. Today I treat myself as a friend, with gentleness and acceptance. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Let Power Come Gently Let your powers emerge gradually, gently. Go gently on your path and look around. See what you have learned to define as power. See with the eyes of your heart. You used to think you were powerful when you resisted your emotions, when you held back and didn’t express yourself. You thought power came from being who you thought you should be, instead of who you are. Now you have learned that only when you are who you really are, can true power emerge. The powers you’ve discovered are many. Your power to be decent, loving, and kind. Your power to heal, to be gentle, to comfort others. Your power to see and know the truth, and at times to see more than you can see with your eyes. Your power to take your place in the dance of universal love, and let the universe dance for you. These powers have been gifts. You’ve seen them. You understand them. You know they’re real. The choice to embrace and use them is yours. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Learn to fly Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame. –Erica Jong There is always someone else to take the fall if our plans don’t work out: “I would have been more successful, but the economy was slow this year.” “Well, that sounds nice, but my therapist says that I should avoid too much stress.” “I wanted to do that, but my husband didn’t like the idea.” What a frightening prospect it is to take your life into your own hands, to decide whether or not you will accept full responsibility for all of your actions and choices. What an amazing– and sometimes terrifying– freedom complete responsibility for your actions brings! Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes we stumble and fall. But oh, the feeling when you finally get it right, when you decide to take that step and it works! That’s when you discover that those fragile butterfly wings on your back are not there just for ornamentation. You can fly! Take charge of your life. Take responsibility for your actions. Ultimately no one chooses what you will do but you, anyway. Enjoy the freedom. You’ve had it all along. God, help me take complete responsibility for my own actions. Give me the guidance and power, to steer my own course according to the dictates of my heart and my conscience. ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The Twelve Steps teach us that as faith grows, so does security. The terrifying fear of nothingness begins to subside. As we work The Program, we find that the basic antidote for fear is a spiritual awakening. We lose the fear of making decisions, for we realize that if our choice proves wrong, we can learn from the experience. and should our decision be the right one, we can thank God for giving us the courage and the grace that caused us so to act. Am I grateful for the courage and grace I receive from my Higher Power? Today I Pray I ask that I be given the power to act knowing that I have at least a half-chance to make the right decision and that I can learn from a wrong one. for so long, decision-making seemed beyond my capabilities. Now, I can find joy in being able to make choices. Thank you, God, for courage. Today I Will Remember Freedom is choosing. ****************************************** One More Day Who can separate his faith from his actions, or his belief from his occupations? – Kahil Gibran We may, at times, represent ourselves in an untrue fashion. This may happen when we are trying to impress someone who doesn’t know us well. We may unconsciously try to imitate another person. Yet in doing so we are not being faithful to the gift of our own uniqueness. Our need to “prove ourselves” diminished only when self-esteem and self-awareness blossom. As we become more secure, we begin to honestly express ourselves and our faith. We no longer need heroes to worship; we can instead honor the gift of life. I find comfort in the honest expression of my beliefs and feelings. ************************************ Food For Thought Dependency In the past, we used excess food as a crutch, and we developed a false dependency on it. We turned to unnecessary food to calm us down, to cheer us up, and to avoid facing our problems. As a cure-all, food let us down. Rather than solving our problems, overeating multiplied them. As human beings, there are many times when we are weak and dependent. If we say we can go it alone, we are whistling in the dark and deluding ourselves. We need to rely on a Power greater than ourselves, but food is not that Power. What we need to find is the Power strong enough to sustain our dependency. Accepting the fact that we are dependent, that we cannot manage our lives by ourselves--this is the beginning of recovery. We need to be humble, open, and willing to be led by those who have replaced their false dependency on food with a healthy dependency on God. Lord, may I not be too proud to be dependent on You. ***************************************** One Day At A Time HUMILITY To the humble man, and to the humble man alone, the sun is really a sun; to the humble man, and to the humble man alone, the sea is really a sea. G.K. Chesterton Before I started recovery, lack of clarity was all around me and within me. There was too much fear. I was unable to acknowledge: This is who I am, and this is what's going on, no more, and no less. I was afraid to name my husband's abusive behaviour. I was afraid to name my complicity in it. I was afraid to name who I was and what I wanted and needed, and I was afraid to name the behaviour of those around me who wanted me to fit into their mould. My husband was scared silly that one day the world would find out that we weren't the perfect family. So I was not humble. I kept nurturing the fog that covered what was really going on. And boy, was I good at it. I kind of had an inkling that something wasn't right, so, semi-consciously, I made sure that my denial was watertight. I knew that if we pretended that we were a 100% perfect family, there might be suspicions. So I made sure I'd slip in a little problem here and there. At one point, luckily, I allowed the bubble to burst. I started naming things, loud and clear. I named them to the police, I named them to my friends and family, I named them in my poetry. I started playing with another 12-step program. But it took me another twelve years to name that I was an overeater. In those years I gained another 70 pounds (with some yoyo dieting thrown in, of course). Humbly admitting that, yes, really, I was an overeater, was the best thing I've done since ridding my family of my abusive spouse. I humbly admitted that I had been abusing myself with my eating behaviours. Now I can see clearly. (I can also see more clearly how wounded my ex spouse is, making it easier for me to work on forgiving him). One day at a time ... I accept the gift of humility. I am not afraid anymore to look reality in the eye - and what I see is as right as the sun and the sea. ~ I.M. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. - Pg. 100 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Self will and 'running the show' can be like the monkey who sticks his hand into the trap for food. He grasps the food tightly creating a fist that won't fit out the trap door. The monkey struggles but won't release the food and he is trapped. Simply letting go would free him. Holding tight to your will and your way can be the fist that traps you. Let Go and Let God. I let go of my tight grip by not insisting everything be my way. I say, 'Let Go and Let God' often to remind myself I don't want to be trapped. What a relief. The Healing Universe Everywhere I look life is in a process of healing from something. A plant that has been stepped on fights to come back to life. A tree that has lost branches sprouts new growth. An animal that has lost a leg learns to run on three. Life is always reaching for life. It's an unbroken circle. Like a lover reaching for their beloved , or a child holding onto his mother until the pain passes. Life is programmed to heal itself and it will strive towards that with all its will. I will allow this powerful force that's build into my DNA to work its magic on me. I won't resist my own healing. I will allow it in. I am built to heal - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote The safest banks fail, corporations fold, loved ones die, all things change. Your life now changes like the tides or the seasons. You are not alone in this change. Seek out others who have experienced relief from your problem of choice and let them guide you through it. I can change my clothes and change my address but until I change myself, I cannot grow. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you want to feel better, clean house. If you want to get better, find God. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I have the courage to own my own unhappiness, daring to look within to discover its source. Today I treat myself as a friend, with gentleness and acceptance. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote An alcoholic who stops drinking, is like the guy who jumps into the water only to find that he can't swim. And AA isn't the water you jump into when your pants are on fire, AA is a bunch of idiots in a life boat with charred britches who come along and give swimming lessons. - Doug D.
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02-14-2024, 07:25 AM | #24 |
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February 24
Daily Reflections A THANKFUL HEART I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37 My sponsor told me that I should be a grateful alcoholic and always have "an attitude of gratitude"--that gratitude was the basic ingredient of humility, that humility was the basic ingredient of anonymity, and that "anonymity was the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities." As a result of his guidance, I start every morning on my knees, thanking God for three things: I'm alive, I'm sober, and I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Then I try to live an "attitude of gratitude" and thoroughly enjoy another twenty-four hours of the A.A. way of life. A.A. is not something I joined; it's something I live. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When we came to our first A.A. meeting, we looked up at the wall at the end of the room and saw the sign: " But for the Grace of God." We knew right then and there that we would have to call on the grace of God in order to get sober and get over our soul-sickness. We heard speakers tell how they had come to depend on a Power greater than themselves. That made sense to us and we made up our minds to try it. Am I depending on the grace of God to help keep me sober? Meditation For The Day Share your love, your joy, your happiness, your time, your food, your money gladly with all. Give out all the love you can with a glad, free heart and hand. Do all you can for others and back will come countless stores of blessings. Sharing draws others to you. Take all who come as sent by God and give them a royal welcome. You may never see the results of your sharing. Today they may not need you, but tomorrow may bring results from the sharing you did today. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may make each visitor desire to return. I pray that I may never make anyone feel repulsed or unwanted. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Seeking Guidance, p. 55 "Man is supposed to think, and act. He wasn't made in God's image to be an automation. "My own formula along this line runs as follows: First, think through every situation pro and con, praying meanwhile that I be not influenced by ego considerations. Affirm that I would like to do God's will. "Then, having turned the problem over in this fashion and getting no conclusive or compelling answer, I wait for further guidance, which may come into mind directly or through other people or through circumstances. "If I feel I can't wait, and still get no definite indication, I repeat the first measure several times, try to pick out the best course, and then proceed to act. I know if I am wrong, the heavens won't fall. A lesson will be learned, in any case." Letter, 1950 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Selfishness____Self-improvement We're told again and again that we have to be selfish about our own recovery, but this seems to be in conflict with the fact that selfishness is the root of our problem. How can selfishness be both good and bad? The selfishness we need for recovery is a devotion to self-improvement, rather than the selfish indulgence that made us sick. One is a giving of ourselves, the other is frantic taking that leads to destruction. The person who seeks self-improvement is competing only against his or her former self. The sick brand of selfishness, on the other hand, is usually involved in unhealthy competition with others. There is no easy way to test whether our selfishness is the right kind. If our conduct leads to long-term happiness and higher self-esteem, it is probably right. If it harms us or others, something is wrong. We can correct this by getting back to the basics of the program and pursing self-improvement rather than self-indulgence. Just for today, I will take part in that which will obviously benefit everyone. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Failure is impossible. ---Susan B. Anthony Failure is an attitude. Having an attitude of failure can't help us. It can only hurt us. If we're not careful, it can grow into a way of life. So, when we feel like failures, we better look at our attitudes. An attitude of failure often comes from making mistakes. But we can learn to see our mistakes as lessons. This turns mistakes into gains, not failures. Sometimes, we try to do things that just can't be done. When we act like we know everything, we're going to fail. if we try to act like God, we're going to fail. We can't control others. We can't know everything. We're not God. We're human. If we act human, we've already won. Prayer for the Day: Higher power, help me to learn from my attitudes. Whatever the outcome, help me learn. Action for the Day: Facing our past "failures" is the first step to learning from them. I'll talk to my sponsor about a past "failure" and the good that came from it. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. --Virginia Woolf Anguish is undoubtedly more familiar to us than is the beauty of laughter. We feel anguish over our failings; we feel anguish over our losses; we feel anguish over the attempts to succeed that beckon to us. Anguish comes of fear. And we so hope to avoid it. However, it seasons us as women; it enriches us even while it momentarily diminishes us. It is a major contributor to the sum and substance of our lives. The anguish we experience prepares us to help others experience their own particular anguish. Our laughter, too, must be savored and shared. And laughter builds more laughter. Laughter lends a perspective on our anguish. Life is made richer, fuller, by the ebb and flow, the laughter and the anguish in concert. If only we could remember, when the anguish is present, that it is making our Spirits whole. That it, along with laughter, is a healer of the soul. That it lifts our load at the same time that it burdens us. That it prepares us to better receive life's other gifts. I can help another face anguish. It brings us together. It softens me. And it makes way for the laughter soon to come. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that. p. 95 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. In June 1945, with another member, I made my first--and only--Twelfth Step call on a female alcoholic and a year later I married her. She has been sober all the way through and for me that has been good. We can share in the laughter and tears of our many friends, and most important, we can share our A.A. way of life and are given daily opportunity to help others. p. 230 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." This attitude, of course, is the end result of purposeful forgetting. It is an attitude which can only be changed by a deep and honest search of our motives and actions. p. 79 ************************************************** ********* If I linger with half truths, alibis, excuses, I will reap the consequences. Hold your head high. Rise above the situation. A new day is dawning. Look forward to a better time. You have done your best. Forget the rest. This is growth. We struggle, we learn, we overcome. --Author Unknown Words you speak can be your best attribute or your worst weapon. It's up to you on how you decide to use them. Remember though, it only takes once to say the wrong thing forever. A smile is a gift you give to someone else. We all have a "bad" day every once in a while. Your strength is determined by whether or not you let that "bad" day ruin your day. Being thoughtful only takes a moment of your time. Being thoughtless will require more in explanations and apologies. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SELF "Wherever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is." -- William James Part of my spiritual journey involves the discovery of "self". For years I pretended to be what I was not; for years I pretended to be what I imagined myself to be; for years I pretended to be what you wanted me to be --- always my real "self" eluded me. Today I am beginning to know myself. I know my needs. I understand my strengths. I accept my weaknesses and I live with my confusions. >From the time I decided to put down the glass of alcohol, it progressively got better --- but there is still a great deal I do not understand. Man's inhumanity to man, the daily violence and suffering, my own personal greed, cowardice and arrogance --- where does it come from? I don't know and today that is okay. However, I still search; my suspicion is that the answer lies within my own insecurities. In Your time, Master, may I grow in my understanding of self. ************************************************** ********* "Truly, I say to you, whoever says to the mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours." Mark 11:23-24 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." I Corinthians 10:13 "See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are.... Beloved, we are God's children now." 1 John 3:1-2 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When you follow God's way, your life will flourish according to His great plan for you. Lord, guide me and make me aware of the ways You are working in my life. Use the power of positive images in your mind to bring about good experiences. Lord, I will let my faith in You nourish my thoughts so that I can develop a healthy and joyful reality. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today A New Influence "Personality change was what we really needed. Change from self-destructive patterns of life became necessary." Basic Text, p. 15 In early life, most of us were capable of joy and wonder, of giving and receiving unconditional love. When we started using, we introduced an influence into our lives that slowly drove us away from those things. The further we were pushed down the path of addiction, the further we withdrew from joy, wonder, and love. That journey was not taken overnight. But however long it took, we arrived at the doors of NA with more than just a drug problem. The influence of addiction had warped our whole pattern of living beyond recognition. The Twelve Steps work miracles, its true, but not many of them are worked overnight. Our disease slowly influenced our spiritual development for the worse. Recovery introduces a new influence to our lives, a source of fellowship and spiritual strength slowly impelling us into new, healthy patterns of living. This change, of course, doesn't "just happen." But if we cooperate with the new influence NA has brought to our lives, over time we will experience the personality change we call recovery. The Twelve Steps provide us with a program for the kind of cooperation required to restore joy, wonder, and love to our lives. Just for today: I will cooperate with the new influence of fellowship and spiritual strength NA has introduced to my life, I will work the next step in my program. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Thoughts--just mere thoughts--are as powerful as electric batteries--as good for one as sunlight is, or as bad for one as poison. --Frances Hodgson Burnett The truck was in mud to its axles. Three lumberjacks sat in stony silence in the cab. There they were, stuck in the woods on their way to the cutting site. The first man slammed the steering wheel, cursed, and stormed out of the truck. The second thought the early morning woods inviting, and said he'd just crawl under a pine to nap until someone came along to pull them out. The third man, left alone, grabbed an axe and a saw and set about cutting wood to slide under the wheels. Within an hour he managed to pull the truck out of its muddy bath and they got on their way. We can choose how we respond to an obstacle. As with the three men, our response may be to curse and give up, to sit back and wait for someone else to help us, or to set to work fearlessly to try to overcome it ourselves. The event itself isn't important; how we think about it is. Is there an obstacle in my way today You are reading from the book Touchstones. It doesn't happen all at once.... You become. It takes a long time. --Margery Williams Our spiritual awakening is partly a process of becoming real. We're moving from the external controls of image and others' opinions to the internal controls of honesty, listening to our inner voice, and having true relationships. We are shedding the games that maintained our old style of life - "macho" or "hero" or "poor me." In place of the old phony surface, we are developing a real relationship with ourselves. We are becoming more aware - of emotions, of need for rest, of violations of our values. Sometimes change comes in a flash of insight or a moment of sudden, piercing awareness, but more often it comes a little bit at a time. As we work the Steps, as we are true to our inner voice, as we keep returning to conscious contact with our Higher Power, as we get closer to our friends, we become more real to ourselves. As I grow, I see that I was always real. I was just looking at the outside. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Recognizing Feelings Experiencing feelings can be a challenge if we've had no previous experience or permission to do that. Learning to identify what we're feeling is a challenge we can meet, but we will not become experts overnight. Nor do we have to deal with our feelings perfectly. Here are some ideas that might be helpful as you learn to recognize and deal with feelings. Take out a sheet of paper. On the top of it write, "If it was okay to feel whatever I'm feeling, and I wouldn't be judged as bad or wrong, what would I be feeling?" Then write whatever comes to mind. You can also use the favorite standby of many people in discovering their feelings: writing or journaling. You can keep a diary, write letters you don't intend to send, or just scribble thoughts onto a note pad. Watch and listen to yourself as an objective third person might. Listen to your tone of voice and the words you use. What do you hear? Sadness, fear, anger, happiness? What is your body telling you? Is it tense and rigid with anger? Running with fear? Heavy with sadness and grief? Dancing with joy? Talking to people in recovery helps too. Going to meetings helps. Once we feel safe, many of us find that we open up naturally and with ease to our feelings. We are on a continual treasure hunt in recovery. One of the treasures we're seeking is the emotional part of ourselves. We don't have to do it perfectly. We need only be honest, open, and willing to try. Our emotions are there, waiting to share themselves with us. Today, I will watch myself and listen to myself as I go through my day. I will not fudge myself for what I'm feeling; I will accept myself. I am growing in my ability to trust what feels good and right. Today I can look with and wait until I know with my heart. - -Ruth Fishel **************************************** Journey to the Heart There Is Power in Stillness Our miracles and life’s magic don’t appear when we’re restless and frantic. The miracles and magic happen when we’re still, quiet, calm, and trusting. Each of us has favorite items and places that help to calm and quiet us. What stills our mind? A walk in the park, a special place in the city, a quiet room? An old chenille robe? A rock, a cross, a picture, a lit candle? Use these places and things to find that place of stillness in yourself. Find the power in stillness. It’s a power that comes gently, like the morning sunrise or the evening stars. Take time each day to seek out stillness, to find that sacred spot. Let your mind and soul be at ease. Don’t grasp and grab for the magic and miracles. When you reside in that place of stillness, the joy, miracles, and magic you’re seeking will find you. **************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Seek the adventure in your life ...adventure is not made up of distant lands and mountaintops, rather it lies in one's readiness to exchange the domestic hearth for an uncertain resting place. --Reinhold Messner, Free Spirit It isn't necessary for us to travel the world in search of the next high mountain or wild, desolate place to find an adventure. Adventure lies in our perspective and in our attitude. It is our approach to life, rather than the actual circumstances of it, that determines how much adventure we have. Adventure for one person may mean seeking out a dream that has been long neglected. Perhaps adventure for another means losing weight, changing an outgrown image, getting sober, learning to be in a love relationship, or simply experiencing joy. It's good to make ourselves comfortable, but don't get so comfortable in front of that hearth that you never want to grow or change. Water that never moves become stagnant and poisoned; so it is with the human spirit. We are given life to live. Look at your life and see if there is some area where you,too, can seek out an uncertain resting place. Maybe work, love, or an area of spiritual growth? Some new or long forgotten lesson is waiting to be discovered or rediscovered by you. Say woohoo. Be uncomfortable for a while. It's never too late to learn and experience something new. God, instill in me a spirit of adventure as I pursue my life. **************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I can banish fear by realizing the truth. Am I afraid to be alone? This fear can be banished by the realization that I am never alone, that god is always with me wherever I am and whatever I do. Am I afraid that I won’t have enough money to meet my needs? this fear can be banished by the realization that god is my inexhaustible, unfailing resource, now and always. Today I have the power to change fear into faith. Can I say with confidence, “I will trust, and will not be afraid..”? Today I Pray That I may fear no evil, for God is with me. that I may learn to turn to my Higher Power when I am afraid. I pray diligently that my faith in god and trust in what He has in store for me is strong enough to banish the fears that undermine my courage. Today I Will Remember Turn fear into Faith. **************************************** One More Day The future is like heaven — everyone exalts it but no one wants to go there now. – James Baldwin There are people called futurist who specialize in studying trends and attitudes and who then form theories as to what the future will hold. Having a reasoned opinion about future needs is important for business, education, and industry. It’s probably not so important for us. We work harder to understand today and to discover what this day can hold for us. We aren’t scientist or researchers; we are more like explorers who face uncharted territory. Each morning we’re unaware of all teh events and surprises that lie ahead, but we are the only ones who can choose the direction this day will take. We don’t want to and we don’t need to worry about the future because right now we have this gift of time to use for ourselves and for those who are close to us. I will glory in this day and fill it with living. ************************************ Food For Thought Values What do I value most? What is number one in my life? What is at the center? When I was overeating, I was the center. I was the biggest thing in my universe, and all else revolved around me - a frightening state of affairs, since egotism does not bring peace of mind or security. Self was most important to me, and that egotism was my downfall. When I fell off my high horse and hit bottom, I had nowhere to go except to something outside of myself. As we compulsive overeaters take Step Two and come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, then we begin to shift the center of our consciousness from ourselves to God. This is our only hope. As long as our weak selves are at the center, we cannot make real progress, either in controlling our addiction or in living useful lives. When we hit bottom, we are humbled. When we are humbled, we are able to perceive and acknowledge that God is primary and that abstinence is our most important task. Values are sorted out and order brings inner peace and security. You, Lord, are the center of my life. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ ANIMAL TEACHERS ~ For perhaps if the truth were known, we’re all a little blind, a little deaf, a little handicapped, a little lonely, a little less than perfect. And if we can learn to appreciate and utilize the dog’s full potential, we will, together, make it in this life on earth. Charlotte Schwartz So many times it feels that what we are being asked is too great. We can barely care for ourselves so how can we possibly reach out our hand to another? How many times have we cried out for someone else to please “handle it” because we just weren't able? There are so many lessons that come by working with animals. They know nothing of dishonesty. They can't lie. They force us to be honest with ourselves. They depend on us completely, even when we feel we have nothing to give. And our reward? Unconditional love. There is something extra special about a rescued animal. It is as though they know that their life was in darkest peril and they have been saved. The gratitude shows in their eyes, their kisses of devotion, their entire being. Any kindness shown is rewarded. I think this is no different than a member of OA, especially the new members. Any kindness, and the gratitude flows. These newbies know they too have been saved. So perhaps the next time you feel you have nothing to offer, and that what you have been asked is too great, take a moment to reflect on the moment you were ‘saved’. How did you feel the first time someone reached out to you? One day at a time... I can use the memory of my first encounters with OA to find the strength to reach out one more time. I know the rewards will be infinite. ~ Mary W. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone's sex conduct. We all have sex problems. We'd hardly be human if we didn't. - Pg. 69 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote For awhile, you will have to adjust to every new day without your beloved and betrayed drug of choice. You will sometimes wonder, 'Will I ever get used to this?' Each dawn heralds a new day and I must reinvest with new people and new principles. It is not easy but I emerge from the dark through the dawn of the 12 steps. Inner Cleansing I am in a process of healing. I am taking the time to allow my body to become clean and whole and as I do that, my mind seems to heal, too. Thoughts arise, thoughts I have blocked out during normal waking hours. They scare me, sometimes. Where are they coming from. Me? But as I allow them to come forward a curious thing happens. They become less threatening. They are, after all, just thoughts. They only really have power when I fear them and push them away. If I welcome them into the sun lit rooms of my mind, they sort of spread out and relax. They are just fears. Anxieties. Parts of me I don't want to know about. But today I understand that I cannot really keep secrets from me. Today I let these thoughts have room to breathe and as they do, a curious thing happens. They dissipate. I awaken to my inner life - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Our disease had so much control over our lives, that it not only made us do things we did not want to do, but would not let us do things that we wanted to. My disease used to make my choices. Now I do. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you fail to change the person you were when you came in, that person will take you out! Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am growing in my ability to trust what feels good and right. Today I can look with and wait until I know with my heart. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If I'd known I was going to live this long I'd have taken better care of myself.' - Unknown origin.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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02-18-2024, 08:05 AM | #25 |
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February 25
Daily Reflections THE CHALLENGE OF FAILURE In God's economy, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 31 How thankful I am today, to know that all my past failures were necessary for me to be where I am now. Through much pain came experience and, in suffering, I became obedient. When I sought God, as I understand Him, He shared His treasured gifts. Through experience and obedience, growth started, followed by gratitude. Yes, then came peace of mind -- living in and sharing sobriety. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Some people find it hard to believe in a Power greater than themselves. But not to believe in such a Power forces us to atheism. It has been said that atheism is blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. That's practically impossible to believe. I think we all can agree that alcohol is a power greater than ourselves. It certainly was in my case. I was helpless before the power of alcohol. Do I remember the things that happened to me because of the power of alcohol? Meditation For The Day The spiritual and moral will eventually overcome the material and unmoral. That is the purpose and destiny of the human race. Gradually the spiritual is overcoming the material in our minds. Gradually the moral is overcoming the unmoral. Faith, fellowship, and service are cures for most of the ills of the world. There is nothing in the field of personal relationships that they cannot do. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may do my share in making a better world. I pray that I may be part of the cure for the ills of the world. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Facing Criticism, p. 56 Sometimes, we register surprise, shock, and anger when people find fault with A.A. We are apt to be disturbed to such an extent that we cannot benefit by constructive criticism. This sort of resentment makes no friends and achieves no constructive purpose. Certainly, this is an area in which we can improve. << << << >> >> >> It is evident that the harmony, security, and future effectiveness of A.A. will depend largely upon our maintenance of a thoroughly nonaggressive and pacific attitude in all our public relations. This is an exciting assignment, because in our drinking days we were prone to anger, hostility, rebellion, and aggression. And, even though we are now sober, the old patterns of behavior are to a degree still with us, always threatening to explode on any good excuse. But we now know this, and therefore I feel confident that in the conduct of our public affairs we shall always find the grace to exert restraint. 1. Grapevine, July 1965 2. Twelve Concepts, p. 68 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Malicious Gossip____Honest Motives "Without really knowing what was happening, I said something bad today about a person I secretly resented. When it occurred to me that my remark could come back to hurt me, I had a moment of panic," an AA member said. "With little reflection, however, I realized that the more serious problem was the dishonesty that caused me to belittle somebody behind hie back!" We are growing up when we come to see that gossip feeds on our own insecurity and self-deception. When we are unwilling to part company with gossip, we devise subtle ways to keep it in our lives. We can gossip by steering the conversation to a topic that is likely to bring revealing comments. We also gossip by reveling in lurid accounts of others' sins and failings. We should even ask ourselves if we are gossiping when we "discuss" another member who is not living up to our ideas of true Twelve Step standards. This is often prefaced by the remark, "I don't want to take Joe's inventory, but….." We cannot live freely and happily if we practice gossip in any form. The practice may be hidden, but it leaves us with guilt, fear, and shame. We cannot gossip and be completely trustworthy and reliable. I will truly mind my own business today. Forgiving myself for past excursions into gossip, I will say nothing about others behind their backs. If somebody has gossip to share, I will politely move to another topic. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.---Willaim James Step Two speaks of believing. For many years, we had given up believing in ourselves, in a Higher Power, and in others. We believed in getting high. Now our program tells us to believe in love. We are lovable, and we can love others without hurting them. Of course, believing is an important part of recovery. To believe means to put aside our doubts. To believe means to have hope. Believing makes the road a little smoother. So, believing lets the healing happen a little faster. All of this is how we get ready to let in the care of our Higher Power. Prayer for the Day: I pray for the courage to believe. I'll not let doubt into my heart. I can recover. I can give myself totally to this simple program. Action for the Day: I'll list four times doubt got in my way. And I'll think of what I can do to not let that happen again. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning You need only claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. --Florida Scott-Maxwell The search is on. Everyone, everywhere, asks the question at some time, "Who am I?" Women like ourselves are fortunate to have this program. It shows us the way to self-discovery. It directs our steps to the celebration of self that is a gift of recovery. The events of our past may plague us. But they did contribute to the fullness we feel today. And for them, for their involvement in who we've become, we can be grateful. Claiming ourselves, the good and the bad, is healing. It's taking responsibility--for where we were and where we're going. Claiming ourselves makes us the active participants in our lives. The choices are many and varied. Not actively participating in life is also a choice. Passivity may have been our dominant choice in years gone by. But now, today, we are choosing recovery. We are choosing action that is healing, and wholeness is the result. Making myself mine, will exhilarate me. It will give me hope. It will prepare me for anything to come. I will know a new joy. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance. p. 96 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. In conclusion, I can only say that whatever growth or understanding has come to me, I have no wish to graduate. Very rarely do I miss the meetings of my neighborhood A.A. group, and my average has never been less than two meetings a week. I have served on only one committee in the past nine years, for I feel that I had my chance the first few years and that newer members should fill the jobs. They are far more alert and progressive than we floundering fathers were, and the future of our fellowship is in their hands. We now live in the West and are very fortunate in our area A.A.; it is good, simple and friendly, and our one desire is to stay in A.A. and not on it. Our pet slogan is "Easy Does It." And I still say that as long as I remember January 8th in Washington, that is how long, by the grace of God as I understand Him, I will retain a happy sobriety. pp. 230-231 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Though in some cases we cannot make restitution at all, and in some cases action ought to be deferred, we should nevertheless make an accurate and really exhaustive survey of our past life as it has affected other people. In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has. Very deep, sometimes quite forgotten, damaging emotional conflicts persist below the level of consciousness. At the time of these occurrences, they may actually have given our emotions violent twists which have since discolored our personalities and altered our lives for the worse. pp. 79-80 ************************************************** ********* God, protect me from negative influences, which erode my beliefs. Help me protect myself. Surround me with that which is positive, edifying, and uplifting. --Melody Beattie It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. --Ralph Waldo Emerson We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. --Epictetus Have compassion for yourself and others. Everyone is doing the best they can based on their life experiences. Everyone is learning and growing, and so are you. --HeartMath Discovery Program, Doc Childre and Sara Paddison A great reform would take place in the world if we tried to live truth instead of preaching it. "I have been given a quiet place in bright sunshine." --Bill W. I am God's Melody of Life and He Sings His Song through me. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation AMBITION "The child without ambition is like a watch with a broken spring." -- R. W. Stockman It is not wrong to have ambition. It is not wrong to want to be "somebody". The tragedy is that this has to be said! For too long we have played the tapes in our head that discouraged ambition and creative pride. We confused humility with timidity and self-abuse. We waited for things to happen, rather than made them happen. Today I know that I am a creature of God --- created to create. God is at work in my life. I am part of His miracle for the world. O God, may I always have ambition for those things that are good and true. ************************************************** ********* "Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:9 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Rom. 5:1-5 "So Jesus answered and said to them, Have faith in God." Mark 11:22 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration To receive the wonderful healing power of love, wish others well even when things aren't going so well for you. Lord, I rejoice in You always because You are blessing me daily no matter what my circumstances may be. We are judged by our actions, not by our intentions. Lord, may I show my love for You through charity and goodness toward others. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Sick As Our Secrets "It would be tragic to write [out an inventory only to] shove it in a drawer These defects grow in the dark and die in the light of exposure." Basic Text, p. 31 How many times have we heard it said that we are only as sick as our secrets? While many members choose not to use meetings to share the intimate details of their lives, it is important that we each discover what works best for us. What about those behaviors we have carried into our recovery that, if discovered, would cause us shame? How much are we comfortable disclosing, and to whom? If we are uncomfortable sharing some details of our lives in meetings, to whom do we turn? We have found the answer to these questions in sponsorship. Although a relationship with a sponsor takes time to build, it is important that we come to trust our sponsor enough to be completely honest. Our defects only have power as long as they stay hidden. If we want to be free of those defects, we must uncover them. Secrets are only secrets until we share them with another human being. Just for today: I will uncover my secrets. I will practice being honest with my sponsor. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The most useless day of all is that in which we have not laughed. --Sebastian R. N. Champort We are told that laughter is sunshine filling a room. And where there is laughter, there also is life. They say that people who laugh a lot live longer than do the sour-faced. When we laugh together, gratitude comes more easily, companionship thrives, and all praise is sincere. Laughter brings us joy that cannot be bought. Such joy is with us throughout each day. To hoard joy, to hide it away deep within us away from others, will make us lonely misers. We cannot buy or trade for joy, but we can give or receive it as a gift. Laughter's joy celebrates the moment we are living right now. It is a gift we must share, or it will wither and die. Shared, it grows and thrives, and always returns to us when we need it most. What can I find to laugh about right now? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Every time I dose the door on Reality, it comes in through the window. --Ashleigh Brilliant In the past many of us closed the door on the reality of our abuse of others or ourselves. We gave explanations, but our words more often hid the truth than revealed it. The chaos in our lives was reality coming in the window. Many men have come into this program priding themselves on their honesty, but not aware of how dishonest they were with themselves. Honesty is a pillar of spiritual awakening. There is no growth without it, and it begins with ourselves. We do not define the truth, we accept it, we surrender to it. The truth may not feel good; it can even be painful. This is the pain of birth - the rebirth of a real man. And the promise of this day is the reward of having our integrity and the peace of self-acceptance. Today, I will surrender to the truth. I will accept the reality, which presses for attention in my life. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Accepting Imperfection "Why do I do this to myself?" asked a woman who wanted to lose weight. "I went to my support group feeling so guilty and ashamed because I ate half a cookie that wasn't on the diet. I found out that everyone cheats a little, and some people cheat a lot. I felt so ashamed before I came to the group, as though I were the only one not doing my diet perfectly. Now I know that I'm dieting as well as most, and better than some." Why do we do this to ourselves? I'm not talking strictly about dieting; I'm talking about life. Why do we punish ourselves by thinking that we're inferior while believing that others are perfect - whether in relationships, recovery, or a specific task? Whether we're judging others, or ourselves it's two sides of the same coin: perfection. Neither expectation is valid. It is far more accurate and beneficial to tell ourselves that who we are is okay and what we are doing is good enough. That doesn't mean we won't make mistakes that need correcting; doesn't mean we won't get off track from time to time; doesn't mean we can't improve. It means with all our mistakes and wandering, we're basically on course. Encouraging and approving of ourselves is how we help ourselves stay on track. Today, I will love and encourage myself. I will tell myself that what I'm doing is good enough, and I'll let myself enjoy that feeling. I will give myself the gift of time today and be quiet and hear with my heart. I will go to my special place inside where I really live in love and in joy and carry those feelings with me throughout the day. --Ruth Fishel **************************************** Journey to the Heart Learn to Help Heal Yourself I feel a heaviness in my lungs, almost a pain; the next day, I find myself crying, discharging old grief and sadness. On another occasion, I feel sharp pangs in my stomach; within days, denied rage begins to surface and the pain subsides. My head aches, pounds, throbs; hours later, I feel the fear I’ve been running from. I feel the energy in my body shifting, moving, taking new shape; over the next months, I’m led into a new cycle, a new season in my life. Some of the pains and illnesses we suffer from are indications of acute physical problems. They’re signs that our body has broken down and we need medical attention. But many of the aches and pains we experience are symptoms of a deeper process– a process of healing and cleansing our heart and soul. As we go through our daily experiences, circumstances will trigger this healing. Someone says something that makes us feel angry or afraid, which triggers a feeling similar to one we repressed years ago. Or a conversation causes us to remember something that hurt us long ago, and our body begins to release the pain of that old emotion. Sometimes, our aches and pains are signals that some emotion is ready to surface. We need to acknowledge the feeling, feel the energy. Let it pass through us, then watch for the lesson to appear and the pain to dissipate. If we are committed to a path of spiritual growth, our bodies will soon begin to use everything that happens as a vehicle for healing. Trust yourself and listen, and you’ll know what to do. You’ll find healers and help that will support you as you continue to discover and trust your soul. Remember to trust the simple everyday wisdom of your body. It’s a barometer for you soul. **************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let God and your intuition lead the way I define synchronicity as an external event which triggers an internal knowing. It has to do with events that are significant coincidences, such as when you are trying to solve a problem and someone “just happens” to call. During the conversation the caller “just happens” to give a clue or answer to the difficulty. –Nancy Rosanoff, Intuition Workout I was talking to my friend Kyle one day. I was in the final stages of writing Playing It By Heart, but I didn’t know what the ending was. The book was an in-depth life review. I was astounded by the number of experiences I’ve had. “I’ve been a pauper, a drug addict, a codepepndent, a mid-western housewife, a married woman, a single parent on welfare, a secretary, a journalist, a chemical dependency counselor, a book author, a bereaved parent, and a Californian. I’ve traveled to the Middle East, across the United States, ran a bookstore, and now, although I’ve taken the long hard road to get there, I live at the beach,” I said. “There’s nothing left for me to do.” “I know one thing you want to do that you haven’t done yet,” Kyle said. “What?” I asked. There was a long silence. I thought maybe he hung up. “I know,” he said. “You’ve never jumped out of a plane.” I forgot about the conversation. Within a few day, the phone rang. A man who had worked on my house about nine months before was on the line. He reintroduced himself. Then he explained why he called. He said he was a sky diver, and he asked if I’d like to go to the drop zone with him sometime, and maybe make a tandem jump. A few months later, I went with him to Skydive Elsinore. I learned that day that jumping out of airplanes was something I very much wanted to do. And the skydiving experience was exactly the ending I needed for my book. Trust your inner guidance. Our Higher Power works in mysterious ways. Listen to people, and watch for signs that trigger your inner knowing. God, help me be open to all the ways you speak to me to help guide me along my path. **************************************** Hard Learned Lessons Bad Days We all have days from time to time when it feels like the world is against us or that the chaos we are experiencing will never end. One negative circumstance seems to lead to another. You may wonder, on a bad day, whether anything in your life will ever go right again. But a bad day, like any other day, can be a gift. Having a bad day can show you that it is time to slow down, change course, or lighten up. A bad day can help you glean wisdom you might otherwise have overlooked or discounted. Bad days can certainly cause you to experience uncomfortable feelings you would prefer to avoid, yet a bad day may also give you a potent means to learn about yourself. You may consider a bad day to be one where you’ve missing an important meeting because your car stalled, the dryer broke, and you received a piece of very bad news earlier in the morning. Multiple misfortunes that take place one after the other can leave us feeling vulnerable and intensely cognizant of our fragility. But bad days can only have a long-term negative effect on us if we let them. It is better to ask yourself what you can learn from these kinds of days. The state of your bad day may be an indicator that you need to stay in and hibernate or let go of your growing negativity. Bad days contribute to the people we become. Though we may feel discouraged and distressed on our bad days, a bad day can teach us patience and perseverance. It is important to remember that your attitude drives your destiny and that one negative experience does not have to be the beginning of an ongoing stroke of bad luck. A bad day is memorable because it is one day among many good days – otherwise, we wouldn’t even bother to acknowledge it as a bad day. Know too, that everybody has bad days, you are not alone, the world is not against you. Tomorrow is guaranteed to be a brighter day. Published with permission from Daily OM **************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Before we came to The Program, fear ruled our lives. Tyrannized by our addictions and obsessions, we feared everything and everybody. We feared ourselves and, perhaps most of all, feared fear itself. these days, when I am able to accept the help of my Higher Power, it makes me feel capable of doing anything I am called to do. I am overcoming my fears and acquiring a comfortable new confidence. Can I believe that “courage is fear that has said its prayers…”? Today I Pray God grant that through faith in Him I may overcome my obsessive fears. I have been running scared for so long it has become a habit. God help me to see that I may be purposely clinging to my fears to avoid making decisions, perhaps even to shirk the responsibility of success. Today I Will Remember Fear keeps me safe from risk-taking. **************************************** One More Day He who attempts to resist the wave is swept away, but he who bends before it abides. – Leviticus Just as water transforms the definition of the shoreline, so can our changing health patterns alter the boundaries of our days. What looked and felt normal before may be entirely alien now. In various stages of life, we’ve repeatedly demonstrated our ability to adapt to new situations. Marriage, children, new jobs all call for personal change. Add to these everyday occurrences a chronic medical condition (physical or emotional) and we may feel we are drowning. Perhaps at these times, we can disengage ourselves from the moment, reassess the past, and recall how well we’ve handled the changes life has demanded. We have been adaptable, and we can continue to be. Creating a new pattern of living is definitely within my reach. ************************************ Food For Thought A New Place After a slip, we do not go back and start again in the same place where we were before. Through the experience of making a mistake, we have reached a new place. Out of error, we can gain new knowledge and insight. Often we find that wrong thinking got us into trouble. Perhaps we fell back into the old perception of ourself as the center of the universe. Perhaps we forgot to turn over whatever was troubling us and instead began to overeat. Perhaps we tried to depend on our own inadequate strength to get us through the day. Undoubtedly, we forgot that abstinence is the most important thing in our lives without exception. Whatever the mistake, we can profit from it by growing in understanding and insight. We can mark a pitfall to be avoided in the future. We start again a few steps farther ahead, in a new place. May I not be discouraged by mistakes. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ STARTING OVER ~ Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over. F. Scott Fitzgerald Before coming into this program I was, and probably still am to a certain extent, a perfectionist, so one of the things I really struggled with is being able make mistakes without feeling bad about myself. So when I came into the program, I decided that I was going to do this program perfectly, and proceeded to do just that. I followed a meal plan, lost weight and worked the steps, and I really thought I had it made. But I hadn't counted on the fact that this is a disease, and it is both cunning, baffling and powerful. So when I had my first slip, I was devastated and felt a real failure. Fortunately for me, with the help of many loving sponsors over the years, I have realized that I am not a failure if I slip, but I am only one if I fail to get up. This program has enabled me to learn that when I make a mistake, I am not that mistake, and that all I need to do is to pick myself up and start over. In the old days if I failed at a diet, I would never have been able to pick myself up so soon, and it would always be an excuse to carry on eating and start the diet again on Monday. Now I know that my abstinence can even start at the end of the day, rather than waiting till tomorrow, next week or even next month. I am slowly starting to let go of the guilt I feel when I slip, and am also learning to love myself even when I do flounder, because with the love and support I am given in this program, I know I can always start over. One day at a time... I will remember that I can start afresh any time I like, and don't need to feel as if I have failed. ~ Sharon ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We avoid retaliation or argument. - Pg. 67 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote I only have one character defect left and it's just that I think about myself **** near all the time. Seeing Deeply Every day I experience another piece of myself. Yes I am laid low, but at the same time worlds are opening up to me on the inside. My body is struggling to heal and so is the rest of me. I am watching myself deepen inside and become more aware. It is forced upon me by illness, but I cannot help but being a little bit grateful for the time to slow down and go within. I am seeing the subtleties of life, I am watching myself watch the world around me. I have a witness inside that is constantly with me but I seldom take time to be with it. As I witness my own thoughts, I learn about who I am inside, what makes me tick. As I watch myself interact with others, I see how I act in relationships. As I notice the little things, life seems to matter more. I am renewing my relationship with life - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote The spiritual journey is one of continually falling on your face, getting up, brushing yourself off, looking sheepishly at God, and taking another step. If I'm faced in the right direction, and fall on my face, I've still made progress. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Actions speak louder than bumper stickers. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I will give myself the gift of time today and be quiet and hear with my heart. I will go to my special place inside where I really live in love and in joy and carry those feelings with me throughout the day. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I never let go of anything that didn't have my claw marks on it. - Tony B.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to bluidkiti For Sharing: |
02-18-2024, 08:06 AM | #26 |
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 73,697
|
February 26
Daily Reflections NO ORDINARY SUCCESS STORY A.A. is no success story in the ordinary sense of the word. It is a story of suffering transmuted, under grace, into spiritual progress. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 35 Upon entering A.A. I listened to others talk about the reality of their drinking: loneliness, terror and pain. As I listened further, I soon heard a description of a very different kind--the reality of sobriety. It is a reality of freedom and happiness, of purpose and direction, and of serenity and peace with God, ourselves and others. By attending meetings, I am reintroduced to that reality, over and over. I see it in the eyes and hear it in the voices of those around me. By working the program I find the direction and strength with which to make it mine. The joy of A.A. is that this new reality is available to me. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When we came into A.A., we came to believe in a Power greater than ourselves. We came to believe in that Divine Principle in the universe which we call God, and to whom we could turn for help. Each morning we have a quiet time. We ask God for the power to stay sober for the next twenty-four hours. And each night we thank Him for helping us to keep sober for that day. Do I believe that each man or woman I see in A.A. is a demonstration of the power of God to change a human being from a drunkard to a sober person? Meditation For The Day I should pray for more faith as a thirsty man prays for water in a desert. Do I know what it means to feel sure that God will never fail me? Am I sure of this as I am sure that I still breathe? I should pray daily and most diligently that my faith may increase. There is nothing lacking in my life because really all I need is mine, only I lack the faith to know it. I am a king's son who sits in rags and yet all around me are stores of all I could desire. Prayer For The Day I pray for the realization that God has everything I need. I pray that I may know that His power is always available. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Better Than Gold, p. 57 As newcomers, many of us have indulged in spiritual intoxication. Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, we saw our pick strike gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. The newcomer feels he has struck something better than gold. He may not see at once that he has barely scratched the limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product. Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 128-129 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places The Fix that Never was_____ Recovery In all of the despair and defeat that went along with drinking, most of us held to the ideal of a "fantastic fix"----- a drinking experience so fulfilling and complete that it would solve our problems and leave us searching no more. Compulsive disorders, like alcoholism, seem to include this delusion. The gambler looks for the big score, the overeater seeks the total enjoyment of food, and the sex junkie searches for the perfect partner. But the search never ends, because our compulsions always drive us to seek stronger wine and greater excitement. The only fix that will ever work has to be rooted in sobriety and right living. When we think and live properly, free from alcohol, we find a fix that really works. We find continuous satisfaction instead of soaring excitement, sound relationships with other people instead of ego-gratifying encounters, and purpose instead of drifting. The peak experience we had been seeking is a fix that never can be. We can be truly "fixed" only by staying sober. I will live calmly and gratefully today, forgetting the drive for excitement that was destroying me. My Higher Power knows who I am and what I should be doing. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Forewarned. forearmed: being prepared is half the victory.---Miguel de Cervantes Ther will be hard times in our program. There will be hard times in our lives. That's the way the life is. It helps if we accept this. Then we can prepare for tough times. We can prepare by getting a good set of habits and sticking to them. We can make it a habit to give time to our program each day. Sticking to good habits is like having a savings account: when hard times come, we can take the "investment" we've made and overcome our problems. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me accept that there will be hard times. Help me prepare for them. With Your help, I'll stay close to You, my friends, and the program. Action for the Day: I'll put something into my program "savings account" today. I'll make that extra call. I'll read a little longer or go to an extra meeting. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Happiness is a byproduct of an effort to make someone else happy. --Gretta Brooker Palmer We have striven for happiness, generally in self-centered ways. We expected others to favor us with their attention, for example. Or we waited for invitations or gifts. We have probably tried to buy happiness with the purchase of a new dress or shoes. Fleeting moments of happiness were gained, that's all. And soon we were discontent once again. And the search was begun anew. But things have changed for some of us. We are learning, maybe slowly, how to find a more permanent happiness. And we know the happiness that comes from "getting" is elusive. Giving to others, giving attention, sharing hope, sharing our own stories, listening to theirs, is the key to finding the happiness for which we've searched so long. We must get outside of ourselves and focus on another's joy or sorrow. Only then do we get a clear perspective on who we are and the necessary role we play in the lives of others who need our attention and who have a message we also need to hear. The creative power stirring in me needs recognition. Looking deeply into another person, listening intently to the stirring will elicit joy. I will feel in touch with my own creative power, a lasting thrill, not a fleeting moment of happiness. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man. He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery. Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice. Let him know you are available if he wishes to make a decision and tell his story, but do not insist upon it if he prefers to consult someone else. p. 96 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Jim's Story This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people. I was born in a little town In Virginia in an average religious home. My father, a Negro, was a country physician. I remember in my early youth my mother dressed me just as she did my two sisters, and I wore curls until I was six years of age. At that time I started school, and that's how I got rid of the curls. I found that even then I had fears and inhibitions. We lived just a few doors from the First Baptist Church, and when they had funerals, I remember very often asking my mother whether the person was good or bad and whether they were going to heaven or hell. I was about six then. p. 232 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." While the purpose of making restitution to others is paramount, it is equally necessary that we extricate from an examination of our personal relations every bit of information about ourselves and our fundamental difficulties that we can. Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one. Calm, thoughtful reflection upon personal relations can deepen our insight. We can go far beyond those things which were superficially wrong with us, to see those flaws which were basic, flaws which sometimes were responsible for the whole pattern of our lives. Thoroughness, we have found, will pay--and pay handsomely. p. 80 ************************************************** ********* This is a great day to be sober, patient, tolerant, kindly and loving. A positive attitude is a person's passport to a better tomorrow. --Anon Gratitude is our most direct line to God and the angels. If we take the time, no matter how crazy and troubled we feel, we can find something to be thankful for. The more we seek gratitude, the more reason the angels will give us for gratitude and joy to exist in our lives. --Terry Lynn Taylor God, help me learn to respond to whatever environment I'm in by taking the appropriate actions to take care of myself. --Melody Beattie Every new day is the beginning of the rest of your life. On each day you can make new choices on how to live it. No matter what the season, God is with us. --George J. Waggoner God's love reaches us wherever we are. --Karen Christy Kurtz ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation UNIQUENESS "Each honest calling, each walk of life, has its own elite, its own aristocracy based upon excellence of performance." -- James Bryant Conant Everybody has a gift and a special feature that is unique to themselves. Unfortunately so many people are so busy admiring the gifts of others that they miss their own; they are so caught up in the lives of others that they miss the "specialness" of their own existence. One of the symptoms of my alcoholism was low self-esteem. Of course I acted a role of confidence. I pretended that everything was okay. I wore the mask of success --- but deep within myself, I was always waiting for the world to find out that I was a fake, that something was missing in my life. In recovery I have discovered God's powerful gift of spirituality and I know that through my life a uniqueness exists in the world. I have the capacity to make the day better --- not only for myself but also for others. Thank You for the "specialness" of my life. ************************************************** ********* Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20 "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18 We love because [God] first loved us. 1 John 4:19 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Lift yourself above the seriousness of life by keeping a gentle sense of humor. Lord, You have made me one of a kind. Help me to enjoy who I am. No one can live for himself alone for then he will have no purpose in life. To give of self is one of life's greatest joys and blesses us with a full and rich life. Lord, help me to be selfless and loving to those around me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Remorse "The Eighth Step offers a big change from a life dominated by guilt and remorse." Basic Text, p. 38 Remorse was one of the feelings that kept us using. We had stumbled our way through active addiction, leaving a trail of heartbreak and devastation too painful to consider. Our remorse was often intensified by our perception that we couldn't do anything about the damage we had caused; there was no way to make it right. We remove some of the power of remorse when we face it squarely. We begin the Eighth Step by actually making a list of all the people we have harmed. We own our part in our painful past. But the Eighth Step does not ask us to make right all of our mistakes, merely to become willing to make amends to all those people. As we become willing to clean up the damage we've caused, we acknowledge our readiness to change. We affirm the healing process of recovery. Remorse is no longer an instrument we use to torture ourselves. Remorse has become a tool we can use to achieve self-forgiveness. Just for today: I will use any feelings of remorse I may have as a stepping-stone to healing through the Twelve Steps. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. From harmony, from heavenly harmony, This universal frame began . . . --John Dryden Our family is like a small orchestra. Each of us has an important part to play. To achieve harmony we tune in to how others are sounding. We recognize that every orchestra needs a conductor, a center for direction. We rely on our Higher Power for this support and guidance, and we realize that our family's music exists in time. It changes, it passes, and we begin a new song. Our music comes and goes. It is not carved in marble. It is a free expression of family love. No one of us has to play alone, because we are an ensemble. The time for soloing comes later. Today we rejoice that we can play together. How can my music add to the family's symphony today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I have never for one instant seen clearly within myself. How then would you nave me judge the deeds of others? --Maurice Maeterlinck We have been given the job of getting to know ourselves and dealing with our own craziness. We aren't so good at it that we have spare time and energy left to make judgments about those around us. We are tempted to become absorbed in their behavior and choices, and it does feel like a welcome distraction from anxieties about ourselves. So we must learn to detach from the family members and friends that we are tempted to fix, or monitor, or judge. Although we are very close, we are on separate paths in life. We were not born together, and we will not die together. We will make our family or our friendships and the world a little bit better by staying centered on our own sanity. I pray for a clear separation between what is on my path in this program and what is on someone else's path. Then we can make good bridges between us. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Twelve Step Programs I was furious when I found myself at my first Al Anon meeting. It seemed so unfair that he had the problem and I had to go to a meeting. But by that time, I had nowhere left in the world to go with my pain. Now, I'm grateful for Al Anon and my codependency recovery. Al Anon keeps me on track; recovery has given me a life. --Anonymous There are many Twelve Step programs for codependents: Al Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics, CoDa, Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon, and more. We have many choices about which kind of group is right for us and which particular group in that category meets our needs. Twelve Step groups for codependents are free, anonymous, and available in most communities. If there is not one that is right for us, we can start one. Twelve Step groups for codependents are not about how we can help the other person; they're about how we can help ourselves grow and change. They can help us accept and deal with the ways codependency has affected us. They can help us get on track and stay there. There is magic in Twelve Step programs. There is healing power in connecting with other recovering people. We access this healing power by working the Steps and by allowing them to work on us. The Twelve Steps are a formula for healing. How long do we have to go to meetings? We go until we "get the program." We go until the program "gets us." Then we keep on going and growing. Selecting a group and then attending regularly are important ways we can begin and continue to take care of ourselves. Actively participating in our recovery program by working the Steps is another. I will be open to the healing power available to me from the Twelve Steps and a recovery program. It is safe to know there is a special place within me where I can feel peace. --Ruth Fishel **************************************** Journey to the Heart Embrace the Lessons of Night I reached Wyoming’s Yellowstone Park late, much later than I had planned. The park was sprawling. I wasn’t certain how to find the lodge. I couldn’t find anyone to ask for help or directions. Tired and exhausted, I couldn’t make sense of the map. I found myself driving around and around, becoming almost frantic. Suddenly, beyond the treetops, I spotted a bright light. Good, I thought, it must be the lodge. I drove a little further, then stopped the car and stared in awe. What I saw stilled my heart, and calmed my frantic pace. Above Yellowstone Lake, nestled between two mountain peaks, glowed a huge, white, full moon, the largest I’d ever seen it. The pines stood guard, quiet and still. A light layer of snow and ice frosted the lake’s surface. I pulled to the side of the road and watched the moon set. It was the single most beautiful, breathtaking scene of the journey. I would never have seen this scene in the daytime. I would never have seen this moon, had I not gotten lost. I would never have seen it, had it not been this particular time of night. So maybe I’m not lost, I thought. And maybe I’m not late. Maybe what I’m really doing is taking a beautiful evening drive. When we’re lost, when the way gets dark, sometimes we see things we never would have seen in the daylight. Sometimes, the lessons we learn in the darkness are breathtakingly beautiful. Enjoy the sunshine, but trust the darkness,too. It is more than to be endured. It is to be experienced, and later cherished. **************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Open the door to fun experiences You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm. –Colette It was nighttime. A light breeze ruffled through my hair as I sat on the bench looking out over the lights of Las Vegas. How did I get here agaiin? I thought. Then I remembered. It had been another of Chip’s wrong turns that had led us from southern California into the unknown. The man wrapped a thick cloth around my ankles and then attached the cord to it. Another backup cord ran to the harness around my waist. I was on a tower 150 feet above the ground getting ready to bungee jump. By my feet. At night. In vegas. Again. Sometimes the first step is the hardest. Sometimes it’s the second step that gets you. The thing about a new experience is that you have no expectations, there is no frame of reference. But the second time. … I remembered the feeling of looking down off the platform to the ground below, the unnatural, terrifying step into nothingness, then my stomach jumping up into my chest, the long second when time seemed to freeze, the plunge toward the ground, and the tug of the cord slowing me. I remembered the rebound, the hanging there, waiting to be pulled back up. I remembered it all, and it grew in my mind. And besides, this time it was night, and I was going to be hanging by my feet. I walked to the edge of the platform. I wasn’t holding on. But I was shaking. “5-4-3-2-1- go!” came the count. I closed my eyes and let myself fall. And I laughed and I screamed, and I laughed at myself for screaming. It was fun. Later, as we headed farther down the road, farther away from home on another intuitive road trip, I was still smiling. Growth is self-perpetuating. Each new experience opens the door for further experiences. Today, remember something that you may have done only once, something you liked; then do it again. Allow your mind to fill you with uncertainty as you remember all of the experiences of the first time. It doesn’t have to be work-related. Maybe you went to a play instead of watching TV. Camped in the woods. Or wrote a poem. Find something that was fun, and do it again. Then, bring that feeling back to your ordinary world. Bring the woohoo of the second time into the third, forth, and fifth times that you do a thing. Keep the life in your life. God, please remind me of some fun, interesting things that I like to do. Then help me get out of my chair and do them. **************************************** Dark Night of the Soul Surrendering the Ego by Madisyn Taylor While we are in a dark night of the soul experience, hold steady knowing the light will appear once again. Whenever a word is overused, it is most likely being misused, and over time, it begins to lose its meaningfulness. For example, we often refer to a fleeting feeling of depression or a period of confusion, as a dark night of the soul, but neither of these things qualifies as such. A dark night of the soul is a very specific experience that some people encounter on their spiritual journeys. There are people who never encounter a dark night of the soul, but others must endure this as part of the process of breaking through to the dawn of higher consciousness. The dark night of the soul invites us to fully recognize the confines of our egos’ identity. We may feel as if we are trapped in a prison that affords us no access to light or the outside. We are coming from a place of higher knowing, and we may have spent a lot of time and energy reaching toward the light of higher consciousness. This is why the dark night has such a quality of despair: We are suddenly shut off from what we thought we had realized and the emotional pain is very real. We may even begin to feel that it was all an illusion and that we are lost forever in this darkness. The more we struggle, the darker things get, until finally we surrender to our not knowing what to do, how to think, where to turn. It is from this place of losing our sense of ourselves as in control that the ego begins to crack or soften and the possibility of light entering becomes real. Some of us will have to endure this process only once in our lives, while others may have to go through it many times. The great revelation of the dark night is the releasing of our old, false identity. We finally give up believing in this false self and thus become capable of owning and embracing the light. Published with permission from Daily OM **************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “What if…” How often we hear these words from newcomers to The Program. How often, in fat,we tend to say them ourselves. “What if I lose my job?” “What if my car breaks down?” What if I get sick and can’t work?” “What if my child gets hooked on drugs?” What if — anything our desperate imaginings can project. Only two small words, yet how heavy-laden they are with dread, fear and anxiety. The answer to “What if…” is, plainly and simply, “Don’t project.” We can only live with our problems as they arise, living one day at a time. Am I keeping my thoughts positive? Today I Pray May I grow spiritually, without being held back by anxieties. May projected fears not hobble my pursuits or keep me from making the most of today. May I turn out fear by faith. If I will only make a place for God within me, He will remove my fears. Today I Will Remember I can only borrow trouble at high interest rates. **************************************** One More Day I shall not pass this way again; Then let me now relieve some pain, Remove some barrier from the road, Or brighten someone’s heavy load. – Eva Rose York Sometimes we help other through – neighborhood clean-up committees, recycling stations, and paint-a-tons. Maybe we’ve volunteered through school or church or community organizations. Illness has helped us better understand the relationship between those who help and those who need help. Loving help is not prompted by pity or superiority, but by empathy and shared humanness. Also, we’ve learned that no one is always the helper or always the one needing help. We are both. We are bonded to others through what we give — and what we receive. I will show my love by helping and being willing to be helped. ************************************ Food For Thought Eating Slowly We compulsive overeaters are inclined to devour our meals in a great rush. Mealtime often finds us anxious and tense, and sometimes we are just plain greedy! While others at the table are interested in conversation and socializing, we may be narrowly focused on food and preoccupied with trying to satisfy a ravenous appetite. We need to break out of our self-centeredness. Rather than being completely absorbed with satisfying our own appetite (which we can never do), we can learn to focus some of our attention on the concerns of those around us. When we eat more slowly, we have more time for others and we feel less deprived. Our enjoyment, of both the company and the food, is greatly increased. Even when we eat a meal alone, we should remember that we do not receive all of our nourishment from physical food. When we eat more slowly, we become more relaxed and refreshed both physically and spiritually. When we are aware of our Higher Power and thankful for all of His blessings, the meal is more satisfying. Help me to slow down and appreciate Your gifts. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ MEMORIES ~ Some memories are realities ... and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again. Willa Cather When one is young, the world is large and the thought of exploring it is exciting. Each year that we live we add to our memory chest ... and by middle age those memories are substantial. I have found as I have grown older that I remember more of the good things that have happened in my life than the bad. The good things seem to become sharper as time goes by ... and the bad seem less so. It's almost as though the memory has turned into a "feeling" rather than a specific event. When I work on the fourth and the eighth Steps, my life flashes before me and, like one of those calendars from an old movie, time whizzes by and people who have been part of my life hurtle through space ... each triggering a memory. Memories aren't made more poignant by time. One might think that a decade of recurring events might be remembered with more clarity than a year ... but I have found in the case of my own memories that it is the quality and intensity of time that produces the kind of memories Willa Cather talks about. A year or two or three, given the right circumstances, can produce the feelings we love our memories to trigger, more than those experienced during a lifetime. And a lifetime of memories can be dwindled into just moments. One Day at a Time . . . I will cherish my memories ~ Because I may never experience the reality of some of them again. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote THERE IS A SOLUTION. Almost none of us like the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. - Pg. 25 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote There is a fundamental unity that underlies the fellowship of our programs. It is this unity that can comfort us and help us hold on when we want a fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort more than we want this new unfamiliar life. God, as I understand You, show me how to take comfort from the unity of fellowship when drugs call me back. Fear Today, I allow myself to experience my fears as fears. I don't need to let them control and color the circumstances of my life. They are real, and it is understandable that I have them. Healing can mobilize my deep fears, they come up more intensely than normal. But this is a part of my process, and growth and healing aren't neat and tidy. When I am very afraid, I will comfort myself or seek comfort from someone else. I will understand that even though I fear the worst, the worst will not necessarily happen. My feelings feel very powerful inside me, but they are not facts. I can survive my fears and understand that they will pass. I have compassion for the fearful part of me. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Whatever you are trying to avoid, we won't go away until you confront it. When I see myself as others see me, do I deny it? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Your Higher Power makes your life uncomfortable when it's time for you to change. Time for Joy - Book - Quote It is safe to know there is a special place within me where I can feel peace. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I'm unique, just like everybody else. - Anon.
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February 27
Daily Reflections A UNIQUE STABILITY Where does A.A. get its direction? . . . These practical folk then read Tradition Two, and learn that the sole authority in A.A. is a loving God as He may express Himself in the group conscience. . . The elder statesman is the one who sees the wisdom of the group's decision, who holds no resentment over his reduced status, whose judgment, fortified by considerable experience, is sound, and who is willing to sit quietly on the sidelines patiently awaiting developments. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 132, 135 Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions. As my recovery progressed, I realized that the new mantle was tailor made for me. The elders of the group gently offered suggestions when change seemed impossible. Everyone's shared experiences became the substance for treasured friendships. I know that the Fellowship is ready and equipped to aid each suffering alcoholic at all crossroads in life. In a world beset by many problems, I find this assurance a unique stability. I cherish the gift of sobriety. I offer my gratitude for the strength I receive in a Fellowship that truly exists for the good of all members. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When we first came into A.A., the first thing we did was to admit that we couldn't do anything about our drinking. We admitted that alcohol had us licked and that we were helpless against it. We never could decide whether or not to take a drink. We always took the drink. And since we couldn't do anything about it ourselves, we put our whole drink problem into the hands of God. We turned the whole thing over to that Power greater than ourselves. And we have nothing more to do about it, except to trust God to take care of the problem for us. Have I done this honestly and fully? Meditation For The Day This is the time for my spirit to touch the spirit of God. I know that the feeling of the spirit-touch is more important than all the sensations of material things. I must seek a silence of spirit-touching with God. Just a moment's contact and all the fever of life leaves me. Then I am well, whole, calm and able to arise and minister to others. God's touch is a potent healer. I must feel that touch and sense God's presence. Prayer For The Day I pray that the fever of resentment, worry and fear may melt into nothingness. I pray that health, joy, peace and serenity may take its place. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Righteous Indignation, p. 58 "The positive value of righteous indignation is theoretical--especially for alcoholics. It leaves every one of us open to the rationalization that we may be as angry as we like provided we can claim to be righteous about it." << << << >> >> >> When we harbored grudges and planned revenge for defeats, we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended to use on others. We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our very first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it. 1. Letter, 1954 2. 12 & 12, p. 47 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Selling myself____ Personal Relations Thoughtful people tell us that every person has to "sell" himself or herself in daily work. As alcoholics, we can find that threatening. Uncertainty and the fear of rejection or failure put us under stress. We can avoid this stress and tension by putting all responsibility for results in God's hands. While it is true that we want to succeed and to be accepted, we can never be sure that our idea of success is the right one. There are times when our strong determination to succeed at all costs makes us overbearing and demanding in our approach. We may be so anxious to appear competent and knowledgeable that we overreach our selves and make stupid blunders. God can show us how to handle each day's affairs in an orderly, reasonable way. It is not necessary to win every argument or to make every sale. We can sell ourselves mor effectively when we go through the day calmly and take a genuine interest in the ideas and concerns of others. I will look upon my customers and fellow workers as friends and allies. I don't have to bludgeon every person into accepting my point of view. If I am sincerely trying to follow God's will in all my affairs, others will sense my sincerity and will be glad to consider what I have to say. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Without work all life goes rotten.---Albert Camus Work is more than earning money. Work means using our time and skills to make life better for those around us. Our work can be our hobbies. Growing food or growing flowers can be our work. Raising children or caring for older people who need help can be our work. Building homes or helping people live in them can be our work. Thanks to our program of recovery, we can do our best work again. What a change from the drugged-up and hung over days when we didn't do anything well. We are sober, and we have something to offer. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see that work makes me part of the human family. Help me do Your will in my work today. Action for the Day: Good work teaches us good habits. How do the things I've learned in my work help me in my recovery program? I'll list five ways. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Being alone and feeling vulnerable. Like two separate themes, these two parts of myself unite in my being and sow the seeds of my longing for unconditional love. --Mary Casey How easily we slip into self-doubt, fearing we're incapable or unlovable, perhaps both. How common for us to look into the faces of our friends and lovers in search of affirmation and love. Our alienation from ourselves, from one another, from God's Spirit which exists everywhere causes our discontent. It is our discontent. When souls touch, love is born, love of self and love of the other. Our aloneness exists when we create barriers that keep us separate from our friends, our family. Only we can reach over or around the barriers to offer love, to receive love. Recovery offers us the tools for loving, but we must dare to pick them up. Listening to others and sharing ourselves begins the process of loving. Risking to offer love before receiving it will free us from the continual search for love in the faces of others. I won't wait to be loved today. I will love someone else, fully. I won't doubt that I, too, am loved. I will feel it. I will find unconditional love. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS He may be broke and homeless. If he is, you might try to help him about getting a job, or give him a little financial assistance. But you should not deprive your family or creditors of money they should have. Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days. But be sure you use discretion. Be certain he will be welcomed by your family, and that he is not trying to impose upon you for money, connections, or shelter. Permit that and you only harm him. You will be making it possible for him to be insincere. You may be aiding in his destruction rather than his recovery. pp. 96-97 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Jim's Story This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people. My mother had been recently converted and, actually, had become a religious fanatic. That was her main neurotic manifestation. She was very possessive with us children. Mother drilled into me a very Puritanical point of view as to sex relations, as well as to motherhood and womanhood. I'm sure ideas as to what life should be like were quite different from that of the average person with whom I associated. Later on in life that took its toll. I realize that now. p. 232 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." We might next ask ourselves what we mean when we say that we have "harmed" other people. What kinds of "harm" do people do one another, anyway? To define the word "harm" in a practical way, we might call it the result of instincts in collision, which cause physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual damage to people. If our tempers are consistently bad, we arouse anger in others. If we lie or cheat, we deprive others not only of their worldly goods, but of their emotional security and peace of mind. We really issue them an invitation to become contemptuous and vengeful. If our sex conduct is selfish, we may excite jealousy, misery, and a strong desire to retaliate in kind. p. 80 ************************************************** ********* The road to recovery is always under construction. A cool head keeps you out of hot water. Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting. --Elizabeth Bibesco God, help me take a deep breath and holler woohoo. --Melody Beattie A deeper bonding with one's spirit and with others at an essence level is the spiritual opportunity of the new millennium, yet the first step is an inside job -- starting with oneself. People have an innate desire to bond with others in the spirit of love, but an essential first step is rolling up our sleeves and applying some elbow grease toward managing attitudes and emotions that are not in line with our heart or authentic self. Then bonding becomes not an action you do but a way of being, the way of love. --Doc Childre When the storms clouds threaten And on the sea of life we're tossed, When we don't know where we are going, Feeling all alone and lost....... There is a friend to turn to. A calming hand to guide your way He will make the dark clouds scatter and brighter grows the day. --Gloria Hall Wood ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation FACTS "To treat your facts with imagination is one thing, but to imagine your facts is another." -- John Burroughs When I was drinking, I was always confusing fantasy with reality. Lies got mingled with the facts and the facts became exaggerated. It was almost impossible for me to distinguish between reality and fantasy, imagination and fact. My life was a complicated lie. Today I have a program of "rigorous" honesty; I must be rigorous and stop the game before it starts. I need to practice the principles of recovery in every area of my life. The spiritual road involves a comprehensive journey and nothing need be left out. God, who created the mountains, help me to take responsibility for the grit between my toes. ************************************************** ********* "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalm 28:7 "He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD." Deuteronomy 8:3 "Come to me all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. The teaching I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light." Matthew 11:28-30 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Time passes too quickly so waste none of it on anger, self-pity or the irritations of life. Lord, may my choices remove stress and free me to enjoy the goodness of today. In your pursuit of happiness, pause to relax and be happy. Lord, slow me down just enough to enjoy all that You have given to me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today "Pure Motives" "We examine our actions, reactions, and motives. We often find that we've been doing better than we've been feeling." Basic Text, p. 42 Imagine a daily meditation book with this kind of message: "When you wake up in the morning, before you rise from your bed, take a moment for reflection. Lie back, gather your thoughts, and consider your plans for the day. One by one, review the motives behind those plans. If your motives are not entirely pure, roll over and go back to sleep." Nonsense, isn't it? No matter how long we've been clean, almost all of us have mixed motives behind almost everything we do. However, that's no reason to put our lives on hold. We don't have to wait for our motives to become perfectly pure before we can start living our recovery. As the program works its way into our lives, we begin acting less frequently on our more questionable motives. We regularly examine ourselves, and we talk with our sponsor about what we find. We pray for knowledge of our Higher Power's will for us, and we seek the power to act on the knowledge we're given. The result? We don't get perfect, but we do get better. We've begun working a spiritual program. We won't ever become spiritual giants. But if we look at ourselves realistically, we'll probably realize that we've been doing better than we've been feeling. Just for today: I will examine myself realistically. I will seek the power to act on my best motives, and not to act on my worst. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. --Walter Babehot Everyone knew Jacob was a bitter old hermit who hated people. He lived by himself in a cabin in the woods. He never came to town, never talked to anyone, and never put up a mailbox or put in a phone. But he had one thing the townsfolk wanted--the very first Bible brought by a preacher when the town was first settled. They wanted it for their centennial celebration. Little Tom listened as the townsfolk complained daily about how much they wanted the old book to put on display. One day, he walked on out to the little cabin and just asked the old man if he could borrow the book, just for a week. Imagine the surprise on the faces of the people when the boy wandered back to town with the old dusty book in hand. Are we like the townspeople sometimes? Do we assume things won't work out without even trying? Sometimes help is there, just waiting to be asked. What have we got to lose? What can I request today that I have been afraid to ask for? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Self-interest is but the survival of the animal in us. Humanity only begins for man with self-surrender. --Henri Amiel When we were lost in our addictive ways, we were driven by self-interest. We didn't necessarily like ourselves or want to be so self centered. But we had no inner resources to help us escape the trap of our egos. When we were there, we could not see outside ourselves well enough to ask for help. Surrender, we thought, brought only defeat and humiliation. The inspiration of this program brings us possibilities that cannot originate from within. When we surrender, we are no longer captives within our skins. We are actually restored to a more natural state as men in community with others, who literally cannot survive as isolated individuals. We must be a part of the give and take within the group, just as it has been for human beings since the beginning of time. Today, I surrender my self-interest again, knowing I must do it over and over. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. People Pleasers Have you ever been around people pleasers? They tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is turned inside out to please another is often irritating and anxiety producing. People-pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in our family. We may not have been able to get the love and attention we deserved. We may not have been given permission to please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of action that demonstrated self-trust. People pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing over others, chattering a mile a minute when what we are really saying is, "I hope I'm pleasing you." Or, we may be more covert, quietly going through life making important decisions based on pleasing others. Taking other people's wants and needs into consideration is an important part of our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family and employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and caring. But, people pleasing backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we planned. The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please themselves. Help me, God, work through my fears and begin to please myself. Today I will trust myself when something does not feel smooth and flowing. I will begin to look around for alternatives for anything that feels rough and irritating. --Ruth Fishel **************************************** Journey to the Heart Open to Life’s Magic “I will never forget my mother’s words to me the first time she took me to the Hob rain forest,” a woman told me, when she learned I was going there. “We were at the edge of the forest, about to enter. My mother stopped walking and turned to me. “There’s magic here,” she said. It wasn’t her words that impressed me. What struck me was the absolute certainty and matter-of-fact way she said it. It was like she had just told me, ‘Dinner’s ready,’” There’s magic in the air. It’s the next place on the journey. It’s inevitable. We have been clearing the path so we could do more than merely trudge down the road. The road leads to magic– a magical way of living. A magical way of being here. The magic in the air isn’t an illusion, isn’t a trick. You have done your work. You have stuck with the journey. Now is the time for fun,the time to see and know more of life’s magical ways. Walk lightly. Enter the enchanted forest. Look around. Keep your eyes and ears open. Tell others what you see. The journey to the heart is a journey of wonder and awe. “The ancient ones, the trees, are waiting for you,” the woman said. “When you get there, tell them I said hi.” Open to life’s magic. It’s been waiting for your call. **************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Live your life A painting of a rice cake does not satisfy hunger. –Ancient saying An old man was telling his grandson about how poor he was when he was younger. “Why when I was a kid, we couldn’t even afford cheese for the mousetraps,” he said. “We had to cut out pictures of cheese and use that.” “Wow, did you catch anything gramps?” “Yes. We caught pictures of mice.” I have a picture in my house of a Buddhist ceremony in Tibet. The picture was taken by a photographer who lives close to the Blue Sky Lodge. She told me all about the picture when I bought it from her– told me about the smells in the air, the temperature, the crush of the people around her, the tastes, smells, and sights of that place. When I close my eyes and remember her words, I can almost go there. Almost, but not quite. I hope to travel there sometime, to see those things and to feel my soul filled with the spirituality of a monastery high on a hill. The picture is like a menu. It sits on the counter, tempting me with all that is offered in it. But it doesn’t satisfy my hunger. We can share our experience, strength, and hope with each other. But I can’t learn your lessons and you can’t learn mine. I’m planning my trip to Tibet, as I write this book. Will it all work out like the trip in the picture? I don’t know. I do know that I won’t get the experience– the sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and the impact on my soul– from looking at the picture on my wall. Have you been trying to gain sustenance from looking at a picture of an experience– reading books, taking classes, going to seminars, listening to mentors– instead of going out and living life for yourself? Take another look at your menu, the list you wrote at the beginning of the year. Order something from it. Stop looking at the picture and go live for yourself. **************************************** Short Getaways Taking a Day Trip by Madisyn Taylor We need not go on an expensive vacation to feel we have had time off as your local park or beach can offer a blissful refuge. We tend to think of a vacation as something that requires an enormous amount of preparation, but small daylong excursions can be just as refreshing and fulfilling as their lengthier counterparts. A short drive can be the channel that transports you into a world of novel experiences and blissful relaxation. Solo day trips can be a wonderful way to unwind from the stresses of routine existence while simultaneously feeding the soul. And when you choose to share your day trip with someone you care about, a leisurely drive becomes a chance to talk about childhood, recall favorite songs, or simply spend time enjoying one another's presence. You may be surprised to see how many day-trip possibilities exist within a mere hour's time from your home. Forests, beaches, lakes, mountains, rivers, and deserts can serve as the perfect spot for a mini-vacation. The physical and mental rejuvenation you experience in an unfamiliar and engaging setting are enhanced by meditation, journaling, deep breathing, or just being still with nature. Though the cost of gasoline can make taking a day trip seem frivolous, and our commitment to environmental well-being may cause us to hesitate before utilizing our cars in this manner, there are numerous ways we can effectively offset our carbon signature while still seeing to the needs of ourselves on a soul level. Since day trips tend to require much smaller investments of time and money than traditional outings, you can enjoy a diverse range of experiences day by day. On one weekend, you may be motivated by a need to connect with your natural heritage to explore a vast state park or nature preserve. On another, your curiosity can inspire you to visit a historical site that has long piqued your interest. In the end, where you go will often be less important than your willingness to broaden your horizons by removing yourself from the environment already so familiar to you. Each mini-getaway you take will imbue your existence with a sensation of renewal that prepares you for whatever lies ahead. Published with permission from Daily OM **************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day If I live just one day at a time, I won’t so quickly entertain fears of what might happen tomorrow. As long as I’m concentrating on today’s activities, there won’t be room in my mind for worrying. I’ll try to fill every minute of this day with something. Then, when the day is ended, I’ll be able to look back on it with satisfaction, serenity and gratitude. Do I sometimes cherish bad feeling so that I can feel sorry for myself? Today I Pray That I will get out of the self-pity act and live for today. May I notice the good things from dawn to nightfall, learn to talk about them and thank God for them. May I catch myself if I seem to be relishing my moans and complaints more often than appreciating the goodness of my life. Today I Will Remember Today is good. **************************************** One More Day I shall not pass this way again; Then let me now relieve some pain, Remove some barrier from the road, Or brighten someone’s heavy load. – Eva Rose York Sometimes we help other through – neighborhood clean-up committees, recycling stations, and paint-a-tons. Maybe we’ve volunteered through school or church or community organizations. Illness has helped us better understand the relationship between those who help and those who need help. Loving help is not prompted by pity or superiority, but by empathy and shared humanness. Also, we’ve learned that no one is always the helper or always the one needing help. We are both. We are bonded to others through what we give — and what we receive. I will show my love by helping and being willing to be helped. ************************************ Food For Thought No Standing Still Life is movement, and to be alive is to change. There is no standing still. Either we are making progress in the control of our disease, or we are getting worse. Progress forward is an upward climb. To look back with longing at a time which in retrospect seems easier, or to think about the so-called pleasure we once got from food, is to invite disaster. We have long passed the point of being satisfied with a small amount of uncontrolled eating. Now, a small amount will inevitably become a large amount, and instead of pleasure we will eventually feel much physical and emotional pain. If we are making progress, let's keep at it and not be deluded into going backwards. If we are losing control and slipping, let's recognize that we are on a downward course and that our disease is getting worse. Let's stop rationalizing and making excuses. Right now we can turn around and start climbing. May I keep climbing. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ FIGHTING ~ And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone ... The Big Book, page 84 When one goes through life at full speed ahead as I have done, it's hard to really step back and look at one's life. Everything is happening too fast and each day seems to blend into the next and, before you know it, the next segment of life seems to take over. When I began my Twelve Step recovery program, I found myself slowing down ... examining my life ... observing those around me ... and reflecting on my past. I began to know who I was and I didn't like one of the things I discovered: I was a fighter. I didn't accept people, places or things unless and until they met my expectations of what they should be. I tried to control situations that I should have walked away from. I clung to people I should have distanced myself from. I tried to manipulate things that were toxic to me, and make them un-toxic ... and, in the process, did myself great harm. When I first read those words from the AABB, "We have ceased fighting anything or anyone," I felt it didn't apply to me ... because at that point, I hadn't categorized myself as a fighter. It took living and working the Steps to realize that. And it took living and working the Steps to take the action necessary to stop being a fighter. Life is calmer now. Relationships are smoother. I sometimes miss the excitement of going through like as though I were on a roller coaster ... but I won't go back there. Serenity means too much to me. Fighting is something I have put away forever. One Day at a Time . . . I will direct my thinking and doing to those things in my life which will contribute to a meaningful and pleasant journey. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. - Pg. 133 - The Family Afterwards Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Sometimes you won't be able to trust that all will be well. You'll think 'it isn't well' and 'I don't want to hear others telling me it will be all right.' OK. Be angry. Now go do something that is suggested to you today. Make a phone call to your sponsor, make a meeting, help another in early recovery. Channel your anger toward action. Grant me the strength to do one activity today that is suggested in the books or by a fellow member in recovery. Unseen Hands There are forces in this ever alive and vibrating universe that want to help me if I can let them. I will pray to unseen hands to guide me toward wellness, to lift me towards God. If I am low, I will allow this legion of tiny hands to lift me in the blink of an eye. I will ask and trust that help is at hand. I will free my mind so that it can include more experience that it normally does. I will allow the veil to be lifted so that I can see this spiritual and alive universe for what it is and people for the tender and vulnerable creatures that we all are. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote It's a very interesting thing about human nature, when you stop treating yourself poorly, it will become unacceptable for others to do so. If I don't take care of myself, why should anyone else? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Daily meditation for about 20 minutes is recommended for all in recovery; unless, of course, you're very busy, then you should meditate for an hour. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will trust myself when something does not feel smooth and flowing. I will begin to look around for alternatives for anything that feels rough and irritating. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote This is a disease of insight. I could see the filth, the deceit, the ugliness, the infidelity. The pain of alcoholism and me. It was all very clear. I could see through myself like glass - As Socrates said: 'The unexamined life is not worth living.' - Tom M.
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February 28
Daily Reflections WHAT? NO PRESIDENT? When told that our Society has no president having authority to govern it, no treasurer who can compel the payment of any dues. . . . our friends gasp and exclaim, "This simply can't be . . ." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 132 When I finally made my way to A.A., I could not believe that there was no treasurer to "compel the payment of dues." I could not imagine an organization that didn't require monetary contributions in return for a service. It was my first and, thus far, only experience with getting "something for nothing." Because I did not feel used or conned by those in A.A., I was able to approach the program free from bias and with an open mind. They wanted nothing from me. What could I lose? I thank God for the wisdom of the early founders who knew so well the alcoholic's disdain for being manipulated. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We should be free from alcohol for good. It's out of our hands and in the hands of God, so we don't need to worry about it or even think about it any more. But if we haven't done this honestly and fully, the chances are that it will become our problem again. Since we don't trust God to take care of our problem for us, we reach out and take the problem back to ourselves. Then it's our problem again and we're in the same old mess we were in before. Do I trust God to take care of the problem for me? Meditation For The Day No work is of value without preparation. Every spiritual work must have behind it much spiritual preparation. Cut short times of prayer and times of spiritual preparation and many hours of work may be profitless. From the point of view of God, one poor tool working all the time, but doing bad work because of lack of preparation, is of small value compared with a sharp, keen, perfect instrument working only for a short time, but that turns out perfect work because of long hours of spiritual preparation. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may spend more time alone with God. I pray that I may get more strength and joy from such times, so that they will add much to my work. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Conviction and Compromise, p. 59 One qualification for a useful life is give-and-take, the ability to compromise cheerfully. Compromise comes hard to us "all or nothing" drunks. Nevertheless, we must never lose sight of the fact that progress is nearly always characterized by a series of improving compromises. Of course, we cannot always compromise. There are circumstances in which it is necessary to stick flat-footed to one's convictions until the issue is resolved. Deciding when to compromise and when not to compromise always calls for the most careful discrimination. Twelve Concepts, pp. 39-40 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Seeking Excitement____ Seeking Serenity "I haven't found anything to replace the excitement I felt while drinking," a member complained. "Sure, Im grateful to be sober. But sometimes it's so darned boring! Let' talk about that need for excitement, or "high." For many of us, it was an important part of our drinking. At times, our drinking was exciting---it came with celebrations, graduations, marriage receptions, engagements, and just about anything else out of the ordinary. Along with it, we wanted other excitement: exciting love affairs, exciting experiences, exciting stories. For us, however, excitement always ended with a crash, often a terrible one. Waking up after an exciting binge was a horrible moment. It stretched out to become horrible It never seemed to have a happy ending. We can take this addiction to excitement in hand by recognizing it as a component of our alcoholism. We'll still be able to be excited at times, but it must be a type of excitement that brings neither crash nor hangover. I will not let boredom push me into actions that I know will be destructive in the long run. I do not want thrills at the expense of my self-respect and sense of well-being. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Leave yourself alone.---Jenny Janacek We often pick on ourselves. We put ourselves down. But doing this isn't part of our recovery. In fact, it goes against our program. Our program is based on loving care. We have turned our lives over to a caring, loving Higher Power who will give us the answers. We are told Easy Does It. We back off. As recovering addicts, we learn not to judge. Instead, we learn to be kind to ourselves. Our job is not to figure out the world, butt to add more love to it. Let's start with ourselves. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, stop me from judging. Help me know what You want to do. Help me work the Steps Two and Three. Action for the Day: Today, I'll leave myself alone. I will remember that picking on myself is another from of control. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The weariest night, the longest day, sooner or later must perforce come to an end. --Baroness Orczy The difficult spells in our lives come to an end. And no matter the depth of our disturbance, we will survive. We forget that the depths teach us how to better appreciate the heights. Sorrow heightens joy. Depression heightens laughter. We wouldn't know the joys and laughter were it not for the sorrows. In them we learn to be patient, waiting for the wisdom which will light our way. In them we learn to listen for the guidance that beckons us forth. We must reflect on the troubling experiences we've passed through of late. They made us wiser; they gave us strength. They changed us, moving us ever closer to the women, whole and happy, we desire to be. Difficulties often precede enlightenment. They pull us inward, perhaps push us to search for our connectedness to God, a connectedness that is at home in our hearts. The paradox is that these painful periods strengthen our oneness with the Spirit. If the day looks bleak, I will accept it as a hand reaching toward me, to pull me forward, to secure my place in the spiritual family. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights’ sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions. p. 97 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Jim's Story This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people. About this time an incident took place in grade school that I have never forgotten because it made me realize that I was a physical coward. During recess we were playing basketball, and I had accidentally tripped a fellow just a little larger than I was. He took the basketball and smashed me in the face with it. That was enough provocation to fight but I didn't fight, and I realized after recess why I didn't. It was fear. That hurt and disturbed me a great deal. p. 232 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Such gross misbehavior is not by any means a full catalogue of the harms we do. Let us think of some of the subtler ones which can sometimes be quite as damaging. Suppose that in our family lives we happen to be miserly, irresponsible, callous, or cold. Suppose that we are irritable, critical, impatient, and humorless. Suppose we lavish attention upon one member of the family and neglect the others. What happens when we try to dominate the whole family, either by a rule of iron or by a constant outpouring of minute directions for just how their lives should be lived from hour to hour? What happens when we wallow in depression, self-pity oozing from every pore, and inflict that upon those about us? Such a roster of harms done others--the kind that make daily living with us as practicing alcoholics difficult and often unbearable could be extended almost indefinitely. When we take such personality traits as these into shop, office, and the society of our fellows, they can do damage almost as extensive as that we have caused at home. p. 81 ************************************************** ********* "The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them ..." --Michel de Montaigne "The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes." --Frank Lloyd Wright There is in each of us a God-shaped vacuum that only God can fill. --Blaise Pascal Expectation is the greatest impediment to living. In anticipation of tomorrow, it loses today. --Seneca And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. --Abraham Lincoln Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. --Seneca "This day I choose to spend in perfect peace." --A Course in Miracles When we are fearful, God's love can help us to be confident. --Amanda Graham O God, help us let your love conquer our fears. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PERFECTION "He that is without sin amongst you, let him cast the first stone." -- Jesus Christ It is so easy for me to focus on the failings of others and miss my own. My attraction to gossip is that it is usually about other people and that keeps the attention away from me. Sometimes I am made to "feel good" by exposing the weaknesses of others. This attitude needs to be changed if I am ever to fully enjoy the fruits of sobriety. I do not need to be drinking to behave like a drunk; gossip and character assassination are reminiscent of my past addictive behavior. I do not need the side of me that seeks to destroy the character of others. With my spiritual program, I am trying to change. May I grow in my forgiveness and acceptance of others. ************************************************** ********* God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4 Jesus said, "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:38 "If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles." Matthew 5:41 "Do to others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:31 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Set your priorities daily because some things in our path are just not important enough to use up our time and energy. Lord, with Your help I can have a full and enjoyable day. God doesn't always end the storm, but He will calm your spirit and give you the courage you need. Lord, I have come to know and believe in the love You have for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Greatest Gift "Our newly found faith serves as a firm foundation for courage in the future." Basic Text, p. 93 When we begin coming to meetings, we hear other addicts talking about the gifts they have received as a result of this program, things we never thought of as "gifts" before. One such "gift" is the renewed ability to feel the emotions we had deadened for so long with drugs. It's not difficult to think of love, joy, and happiness as gifts, even if it's been a long time since we've felt them. But what about "bad" feelings like anger, sadness, fear, and loneliness? Such emotions can't be seen as gifts, we tell ourselves. After all, how can we be thankful for things we want to run from? We can become grateful for these emotions in our lives if we place them in their proper perspective. We need to remember that we've come to believe in a loving Higher Power, and we've asked that Power to care for us - and our Higher Power doesn't make mistakes. The feelings we're given, "good" or "bad;" are given to us for a reason. With this in mind, we come to realize that there are no "bad" feelings, only lessons to be learned. Our faith and our Higher Power's care give us the courage we need to face whatever feelings may come up on a daily basis. As we heard early in recovery, "Your Higher Power won't give you more than you can handle in just one day." And the ability to feel our emotions is one of the greatest gifts of recovery. Just for today: I will try to welcome my feelings, firm in the belief that I have the courage to face whatever emotions may come up in my life. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Nothing that is worth doing can be done alone, but has to be done with others. --Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr We who are blessed with a closely-knit family life, where thoughts and actions can be discussed and developed, are aware that what is given is not as important as what is shared. As we help one another, we learn that sharing can never exist unless we care first. This is the major ingredient of love. Albert Schweitzer described human service toward a common goal as the greatest of deeds. Charles Dickens assured us that when we lighten the burdens of another; we can never consider ourselves useless. Those of us who are led today may show the way tomorrow. In giving, we receive, and in getting we cannot avoid being givers. What do I receive by giving today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. All of my life I been like a doubled up fist... poundin', smashin', drivin' - now I'm going to loosen these doubled up hands and touch things easy with them. --Tennessee Williams Every man has many sides. Some sides are highly developed and other sides aren't at all. We need not fear turning to a new side and exploring it. This recovery program has enabled us to pursue sides of ourselves that were closed before. When we were lost in our narrow world of codependency and addiction, we had fewer options. Now we have far greater access to our strength and our self-esteem, and we find new parts of ourselves. Many of us have found relationships, which were never possible before, job choices we would never have had, and the pleasure of greater involvement in life. It is reassuring to see that we don't always have to give up one side of ourselves to add new ones. Thanks to God for the many options opening up to me in this renewed life. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Letting Go of Denial We are slow to believe that which if believed would hurt our feelings. --Ovid Most of us in recovery have engaged in denial from time to time. Some of us relied on this tool. We may have denied events or feelings from our past. We may have denied other people's problems; we may have denied our own problems/ feelings, thoughts, wants, or needs. We denied the truth. Denial means we didn't let ourselves face reality, usually because facing that particular reality would hurt. It would be a loss of something: trust, love, family, perhaps a marriage, a friendship, or a dream. And it hurts to lose something or someone. ' Denial is a protective device, a shock absorber for the soul It prevents us from acknowledging reality until we feel prepared to cope with that particular reality People can shout and scream the truth at us, but we will not see or hear it until we are ready. We are sturdy yet fragile beings. Sometimes, we need time to get prepared, time to ready ourselves to cope. We do not let go of our need to deny by beating ourselves into acceptance; we let go of our need to deny by allowing ourselves to become safe and strong enough to cope with the truth We will do this, when the time is right. We do not need to punish ourselves for having denied reality; we need only love ourselves into safety and strength so that each day we are better equipped to face and deal with the truth. We will face and deal with reality - on our own time schedule, when we are ready, and in our Higher Power's timing. We do not have to accept chastisement from anyone, including ourselves, for this schedule. We will know what we need to know, when it's time to know it. Today, I will concentrate on making myself feel safe and confident. I will let myself have my awarenesses on my own time schedule. I am at choice today. I accept the responsibility of my life with a new sense of maturity, confidence, and even excitement. --Ruth Fishel **************************************** Journey to the Heart Let Life’s Rhythm Find You I sat in my room, a small cabin in Chimayo, New mexico. The clock whizzed through the hours, but I didn’t whiz through my morning. I felt overwhelmed. Lost. I had more to do than I could handle. I didn’t know where to begin. So there I sat. Stuck. Genera, who ran the hostel, knocked on my door about noon. “Are you okay?” she asked. “Come have coffee and fruit with us.” Her quiet kindness, her gentle concern, and the simple act of having coffee and fruit with a friend brought me back to balance. There’s a life force, a movement, a momentum that transcends our fears and hopes, our limitations, our overwhelmed feelings, and even our confusion. There’s a heartbeat, a rhythm to life and the universe. It’s gentle, easy, natural. It’s in us; it’s around us. It comes gently, naturally, like a friend knocking quietly on the door, asking if we are okay, if we have lost our way. There is purpose, meaning, and rhythm to each step, each beat of your life. Each step, each feeling, each beat of your life is another mile traveled on your journey, your journey to your heart. If you’ve lost your way and can’t find life’s rhythm, don’t worry. Keep your heart open and it will find you. **************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Experience life for yourself We learn to do something by doing it. There is no other way. –John Holt “I’m an armchair adventurer,” I’ve heard more than one person say. This means that they never actually go out and do anything. They let others take all the risk. Through books, they’ve climbed Mount Everest, sailed around the world, hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, and snowshoed to the South Pole. They were even able to tell me all about how to fly a plane before my first lesson. It’s one thing to spend our time reading books or listening to lectures about how to do this or that– how to have a successful relationship, how to build a business, how to live life more fully, whatever comes after how to. The trick is to finally put the books down, walk away from the lecture, and do it. Getting information, support, and encouragement is helpful. Necessary,too. But life was meant to be lived, not studied. The only way that you’ll have a successful career, relationship, or hobby is to go out and get one for yourself. God, help me take the risk of actually doing something I want to learn to do. **************************************** Dealing with Difficult People Opening the Channels of Communication by Madisyn Taylor We all have the experience of difficult people in our lives at one point or another and honest but clear communication is the answer. We encounter a wide variety of people throughout our lives. Many of them touch us in some positive way. Occasionally, however, we encounter those individuals who, for whatever reason, can be difficult to deal with. Perhaps this person is a colleague or close friend that you feel is deliberately being obtuse, inviting in trouble, or doing foolish things that you find annoying. Sometimes, it may be possible to appease or avoid those people short term. Dealing with them in the long term, however, can be exhausting. The behavior of difficult people can even make you feel like losing your temper, but keep your cool. Staying calm is the first step, especially when you are ready to confront them. Avoiding a difficult person can improve impossible and not in your best interest, especially if you live or work together. Likewise, attempts to steer clear of them can become a source of stress and anxiety when they are a part of your social circle. When this is the case, it is best to kindly address the problem. Try not to let their actions or mood affect you. You also may want to try expressing your feelings directly. Tell to the person how their actions make you feel and encourage them toward a more positive course of action. Speak assertively, but respectfully, and don’t portray yourself as a victim. Another approach for dealing with a difficult individual is to gain a deeper understanding of who that person is. Ask them why they do or say certain things. If you disagree with their motives, question them further so you can try and discover the root of their behaviors. In doing so, you may be able to gently shift their perceptions, or at least help them understand your ! point of view. You may want to think about what you want to say to a difficult person before you actually talk to them. If you can, avoid being judgmental or defensive, and try to approach the conversation objectively. If the person is open to the idea, try coming to an agreement. If approaching them fails, let it go and move on. There is no reason to let difficult person or situation have power over your state of being. Remember that a lot can be accomplished when you take the time to listen and offer up alternative perspectives. Published with permission from Daily OM **************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We’re taught in The Program and the Twelve Steps that the chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear — mainly fear that we would lose something we already possessed or that we would fail to get something we demanded. Living on the basis of unsatisfied demands, we obviously were in a state of continuable disturbance and frustration. Therefore, we are taught, no peace will be ours unless we find a means of reducing these demands. Have I become entirely ready to have God remove all my defects of character? Today I Pray May I make no unrealistic demands on life, which, because of their grandiosity, can be met. May I place no excessive demands on others, which, when they are not fulfilled, leave me disappointed and let down. Today I Will Remember The set-up for a let-down. **************************************** One More Day We all like to forgive, and we all love best not those who offend us least, not those who have done the most for us, but those who make it most easy for us to forgive them. – Samuel Butler None of us likes to harbor angry or bitter feelings toward another person. We know that friends may drift apart because of disagreements in which either of us will bend or compromise. More and more, we know what our values are and the importance of how we reflect those values. When a friendship is threatened by anger or misunderstanding, we’re able to let our values guide us. We’ve been less willing o sacrifice our values to save a weak relationship. We’ve let go of some friends. If we’ve been stubborn or selfish, we’re better able now to preserve the friendship by making amends. I will nurture my friendships and myself by letting my principles guide my life. ************************************ Food For Thought Conserving Resources In this fight against compulsive overeating, we need all the strength we can muster. We can learn to conserve our energy for what is important, rather than wasting it on non-essential activities. An extra hour of sleep may do more for our program than an hour spent reading a novel or watching television. We have to guard against compulsive overactivity as well as overeating. Often, we tend to push too hard to complete something which can just as well wait until tomorrow. If we are tired, we are less able to resist temptation. Choosing the foods, which will provide us with necessary proteins, vitamins, and minerals, is a vital part of maintaining energy. To take care of our bodies is to nurture the most valuable physical resource we have. Conserving our resources often means saying no to people and activities, which drain them unnecessarily. Only we ourselves, with the guidance of our Higher Power, can decide how best to use the strength and energy we have. Teach me to conserve the resources You have given me. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ RECOVERY ~ The people who get on in the world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want. George Bernard Shaw There was a time, not so long ago, that my life was much different than it is right now. My weight was skyrocketing because my eating compulsion was out of control. I couldn't walk very far without huffing and puffing. My lower back hurt because my stomach pulled my spine out of alignment. My feet and ankles were swollen, my knees hurt, just standing was painful. I was hot all the time because my fat acted as insulation, keeping my body temperature high. My wife was hounding me about losing the weight, my doctor was taking her side, and even the kids at my son's daycare were asking me why I was so big. I didn't start the recovery process (and it IS a process!) until I got to the point where I was so uncomfortable with myself that I had to do something. It wasn't just that I was physically uncomfortable. I had to get past the comfort zone I had mentally and emotionally set up for myself; I had to get uncomfortable. I had to jump into the unknown, which was the most frightening thing I'd ever done. Sitting around, moaning about my circumstances and suffering the physical consequences of my weight, didn't get me anywhere. It was only when I became ready to see my life change, mentally, emotionally AND physically, that I began the footwork of this Program. That was the key to the beginning of my recovery, the getting up and actually doing something about it. When I took that first Step, the miracle began. One Day at a Time . . . I will take the necessary steps to maintain my recovery from compulsive eating. ~ JAR ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Though they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober, that motive became secondary. It was transcended by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others. - Pg. 159 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We must always fan the flame of inspiration and enthusiasm or our slight hold on sobriety will flicker and fade. We fan the flame by going to meetings, listening to the professionals we hire, choose and use a sponsor, and we must help others. God, as I understand You, please show me one person I can give an encouraging word to in this hour. New Life I can feel my body and my spirit trying to come back to health. I am breathing in and out with relaxed, complete breaths and with each breath I take, I feel more serene. I sense the life within each pore of my body and it feels good, it feels right, it feels alive. My body needed to fall apart a little, it needed to get my attention and tell me it needed tender, loving care. Today, I will pay attention to what my body is trying to tell me it wants and needs and I will give it what it is calling out for. I listen to what my body is asking for and I do something about it - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Do you think you deserve special treatment because you are clean and sober? Most of us do at one time or another. Treat us special and we feel normal; treat us normal and we feel rejected. Do I want my ego to be the first thing people see when I walk into a room? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book People may not always believe what you say, but they will always believe what you do. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am at choice today. I accept the responsibility of my life with a new sense of maturity, confidence, and even excitement. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote ...And the unlived life is not worth examining. - Serenity Sam.
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February 29
Daily Reflections ONE A.A. MIRACLE Save for the brief moments of temptation the thought of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. God had restored his sanity. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 37 The word "God" was frightening to me when I first saw it associated with A.A.'s Twelve Steps. Having tried all the means I could to stop drinking, I found that it was not possible for me to sustain that desire over a period of time. Yet, how could I believe in a "God" that had allowed me to sink to the deep despair that engulfed me--whether drinking or dry? The answer was in finally admitting that it might be possible for me to know the mercy of a Power greater than myself who could grant me sobriety contingent on my willingness to "come to believe." By finally admitting that I was one among many, and by following the example of my sponsor and other A.A. members in practicing faith I did not have, my life has been given meaning, direction and purpose. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought for the Day Getting sober was a long and painful journey, but we can truthfully say it was worth it. We know now that all we've been through led us to A.A. and was part of our spiritual journey. We found in A.A. what we had been vainly seeking in the bottle. We've learned that our journey goes on as we continue to deal with our shortcomings and the human problems everybody must face. And when we reach a crossroads or a roadblock, we know that our Higher Power will come to our aid in making the right choices and surmounting all obstacles. Do I turn to my Higher Power to sustain me as I continue the spiritual journey that brought me to A.A.? Meditation for the Day As I continue on my spiritual journey, I will seek and follow Divine Guidance and know there is always a place prepared for me. Nothing but my own pride and fear can keep me from my dwelling place with God. I need not strain or struggle to obtain that which God wants me to have. My only responsibility is to accept God's guidance and follow the highest principles in all my affairs. Prayer for the Day I pray that I'll continue to seek guidance as my spiritual journey continues today. I pray to trust that I am always doing the right thing and am in the right place when my Higher Power is leading me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It In Partnership, p. 220 As we made spiritual progress, it became clear that, if we ever were to feel emotionally secure, we would have to put our lives on a give-and-take basis; we would have to develop the sense of being in partnership or brotherhood with all those around us. We saw that we would need to give constantly of ourselves without demand for repayment. When we persistently did this, we gradually found that people were attracted to us as never before. And even if they failed us, we could be understanding and not too seriously affected. ******************************** The unity, the effectiveness, and even the survival of A.A. will always depend upon our continued willingness to give up some of our personal ambitions and desires for the common safety and welfare. Just as sacrifice means survival for the individual alcoholic, so does sacrifice mean unity and survival for the group and for A.A.'s entire Fellowship. 1. 12 & 12, pp. 115-116 2. A.A. Comes Of Age, pp. 287-288 ************************************************** ********* ?Walk in dry Places Giving the Right Support...............Carrying the message We're surrounded by people who need help...... financial and otherwise. It is sometimes tempting to believe that we can and should reach out to improve the conditions of their lives. This is not always an easy thing to do, or even a right thing to do. The early AA members who tried this finally decided to limit most of their help simply to carrying the Twelve Step message. While this seemed callous, it was really the only practical approach to a difficult problem. Many people are able to solve their own financial problems when they really understand and practice the Twelve Step program. If they still need other assistance, it is then given and received in ways that work. In any case, we should always seek guidance and direction from our Higher Power when considering or offering any kind of assistance. We'll then know that any support we give will be the right kind. I'll be willing today to assist others in any way I can. I will not, however, take responsibility for running their lives. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I have never seen a greater monster or miracle than myself.----Montaigne We know we’ve hurt people. We’ve heard our family cry out from pain we’ve caused them. Because of alcohol and other drugs, we acted like monsters. But we now live surrounded with love. We now work to make this world better. Recovery is a miracle. The rebirth of our spirit is our miracle. It’s no wonder we love life the way we do! We’ve been given a second chance. Our joy is overflowing. Our Higher Power must love us very much. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me with the monster that lives within me. I pray it will never again be let out. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll see myself as a miracle. I’ll be grateful for my new life. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. ~ Helen Keller The next 24 hours are guaranteed to excite us, to lift us to new levels of understanding, to move us into situations with others where we can offer our unique contributions. All that is asked of us is a willingness to trust that we will be given just what we need at each moment. We can dare to live, fully, just for today. We can appreciate the extraordinariness of every breath we take, every challenge we encounter. Within each experience is the invitation for us to grow, to reach out to others in caring ways, to discover more fully the person we are capable of being. We must not let a single moment go by unnoticed. When we withdraw from life, we stunt our growth. We need involvement with others, involvement that perturbs us, humors us, even stresses us. We tape our internal resources only when we have been pushed to our limits, and our participation in life gifts us, daily, with that push. How necessary the push! None of us will pass this way again. What we see and feel and say today are gone forever. We have so much to regret when we let things slip away unnoticed or unappreciated. A special series of events has been planned for me today. I shall not miss it. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS We seldom allow an alcoholic to live in our homes for long at a time. It is not good for him, and it sometimes creates serious complications in a family. p. 97 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Jim's Story This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people. Mother was of the old school and figured that anyone I associated with should be of the proper type. Of course, in my day, times had changed; she just hadn't changed with the times. I don't know whether it was right or wrong, but at least I know that people weren't thinking the same. We weren't even permitted to play cards in our house, but Father would give us just a little toddy with whiskey and sugar and warm water now and then. We had no whiskey in the house, other than my father's private stock. I never saw him drunk in my life, although he'd take a shot in the morning and usually one in the evening, and so did I; but for the most part he kept his whisky in his office. The only time that I ever saw my mother take anything alcoholic was around Christmas time, when she would drink some eggnog or light wine. p. 233 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Having carefully surveyed this whole area of human relations, and having decided exactly what personality traits in us injured and disturbed others, we can now commence to ransack memory for the people to whom we have given offense. To put a finger on the nearby and most deeply damaged ones shouldn't be hard to do. Then, as year by year we walk back through our lives as far as memory will reach, we shall be bound to construct a long list of people who have, to some extent or other, been affected. We should, of course, ponder and weigh each instance carefully. We shall want to hold ourselves to the course of admitting the things we have done, meanwhile forgiving the wrongs done us, real or fancied. We should avoid extreme judgments, both of ourselves and of others involved. We must not exaggerate our defects or theirs. A quiet, objective view will be our steadfast aim. pp. 81- 82 ************************************************** ********* Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th. --J. Andrews Don't analyze the program, utilize the program. People may fail you, but the program won't. This is a program of change and spiritual progress. Today I can set my goals with the clear and confident knowledge that I can only do one thing at a time and take one step at a time towards that goal. I do not need to wait until I reach the goal to be happy and satisfied. I am fulfilled with each step, knowing that is all I can do in each moment. --Ruth Fishel To be at one with God is to be at peace... peace is to be found only within, and unless one finds it there he will never find it at all. Peace lies not in the external world. It lies within one's own soul. --Ralph W. Trine It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into the doing and sharing with others that is important. Try not to judge people. If you judge others then you are not giving love. -- Mother Teresa "Praying is asking God for help, meditating is listening for God's answer." ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation CHANGE "Nothing stays the same. When you think you've got something down, it changes!" --Leo Booth Today I am aware that life is about change and even the familiar, at some point in the future, transforms. When I was drinking, I hated change. I wanted to control everything and everyone; things had to be my way. Naturally, if you had asked me if I needed to be in charge, I would have replied, "Certainly not!" The addict's disease is fed by illusion and denial. Today I take a leap of faith and trust that the Universe will still be around in the morning, and it will probably look much the same. Today I try to accept, one day at a time, that variety really is the spice of life and that must include the awkward ingredient of change. Creator, I accept and welcome the spiritual ingredient of change in my life. ************************************************** ********* Truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you. Matthew 17:20 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you. James 4:10 Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5 Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Matthew 22:37-39 "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity". Colossians 3:13-14 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration No situation is too difficult if God is with you. Lord, we are a perfect team. You provide the tools and I provide the labor. Never doubt the power, the wisdom and the love that God has for you. Lord, thank You for Your constant care and the certainty of Your love for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Anything! “Our disease has been arrested, and now anything is possible. We become increasingly open-minded and open to new ideas in all areas of our lives.” Basic Text, p. 106 For many of us, our first few months or years in NA are a wonderful time. We’re willing to try anything, and our eyes are constantly opened to new joys and new horizons. Finally freed from active addiction, our recovery young and fresh, anything seems possible. With a little time clean under our belts, however, there may be less urgency to our program. We might not be quite as willing as we once were to put to use the experience of others. We may have encountered a few seemingly intractable defects in our character, whittling away at the boundless optimism of our early recovery. We know too much to believe that anything is possible. How do we restore enthusiasm to our recovery? We pray about it; we share about it; and we seek out the enthusiasm we are lacking. There are members—some with more time clean than ourselves, some with less—who have the enthusiasm we seek, and who will be happy to share it with us if we ask them to. To gain the benefit of their experience, however, we must practice open-mindedness and become teachable again. When we become open to new ideas and willing to try them out we’ll find that, once more, anything seems possible. Just for today: There is always more to learn and someone to learn from in my recovery. Today, I will be open to new ideas and willing to try them out. As long as I am, I know that anything is possible. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief, in denying them. --Ralph Waldo Emerson What do we believe? Do we believe in ourselves? Do we believe we have enough time and energy to do what we need? Or do we believe that things will turn out badly for us? Someone said that fear is faith in the negative. We can choose to believe the worst will happen, or we can choose to believe we deserve good things. We can believe the right things will happen at the right time. What we believe becomes true for us because we behave as though it were true. For this reason, it is wise to choose our beliefs carefully. The more we choose the positive, the more aware we become that our choices are many. This means telling ourselves that we're all right just as we are, and acting as though it were true without question. How can I make my world better today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Power is strength and the ability to see yourself through your own eyes and not through the eyes of another. It is being able to place a circle of power at your own feet and not take power from someone else's circle. --Agnes Whistling Elk Emancipation as adult men, seeing ourselves through our own eyes, is difficult. As children, we could have our separateness only in small measure. As men, we first bring some boyhood ideas to what we experience. We may be arrogant, thinking we already know the answers to life's dilemmas; or defiant, thinking we don't want anyone to tell us what to do; or self-indulgent, grabbing for the greatest pleasure. Those ideas delay seeing ourselves through our own eyes. Personal power comes when we listen to ourselves and to others. To be independent of everyone may have been our youthful idea of power. In manhood, power comes in being open and honest about our dependency, yet knowing we have no claim on anyone else to make us happy. I will place a circle of power at my own feet and stand with dignity inside the circle. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. . . . I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy. --Marie Curie We are looking for progress, not perfection; however, we sometimes get lost or confused between the two. Expecting ourselves to be perfect at something we are only now learning is a familiar affliction. As we accept our humanness, we'll allow the mistakes that are a normal part of the process of living and learning--a process we call progress. Our need to be perfect will lessen with time. And we can help ourselves break the old habits. Perfection and self-worth are not symbiotic, except in our minds. And it's a symbiosis that has done us a grave injustice. Breaking the old thought patterns takes a commitment. We must first decide and believe that we are worthwhile, simply because we are. There is only one of us; we have a particular gift to offer this world. And our being is perfect as is. Affirming this, repeatedly, is our beginning. But with this, too, progress will be slow; perfection need only be worked for, not achieved. The patterns I am weaving with my life are complex, full of intricate detail and knots. I need to go slow, taking only one stitch at a time. With hindsight I will see that whatever the progress, it was the perfect fit to the overall design. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. You Are Lovable We go back and back and back...through the layers of fear, shame, rage, hurt, and negative incantations until we discover the exuberant, unencumbered, delightful, and lovable child that was, and still is, in us. --Beyond Codependency You are lovable. Yes, you. Just because people haven't been there for you, just because certain people haven't been able to show love for you in ways that worked, just because relationships have failed or gone sour does not mean that you're unlovable. You've had lessons to learn. Sometimes, those lessons have hurt. Let go of the pain. Open your heart to love. You are lovable. You are loved. Today, I will tell myself I'm lovable. I will do this until I believe it. Positive energy attracts positive energy. Today my Higher Power continues to guide my growth so that I am more and more open. I am becoming free and unblocked and am attracting all that is good and right in my life. --Ruth Fishel God help me to stay sober and clean today! ************************************************ Journey To The Heart See All the Landscape Climb to the top of a mountain. What do you see? Valleys as well as mountains. When you're on top of a mountain, you don't think, This is all there is. Or when you're driving through a hot, dusty valley, you don't think, This is all there is. You know there is more. You know the truth. Both exist, and more besides. Life isn't an either/or situation. Don't work so hard forcing everything to be only good, delightful, joyous, or pleasant, for when you reach the valley, you'll become as miserably certain that life is only pain, sadness, and tragedy. You're wasting energy when you try to convince yourself that life is only one or the other. Look around. See all the landscapes-- valleys, oceans, plains, and yes, mountaintops. That's what life is; all of it. Enjoy the view. ************************************************ more language of letting go Let go of timidity Live big! --Brady Michaels Sometimes, that's the best advice we can hear. Win or lose, succeed or fail, go for it, and go all the way. As my flight instructor told me on the first day of flying lessons, "Keep one hand on the throttle and one hand on the yoke." "Aahhhhh!" I would say during my early lessons as the plane lifted into the air, but I kept the throttle pushed all the way in. There are times when it's wise to be cautious. And there are times when the best thing we can do-- the only thing we can do-- is go for it by living big. Ask her out. Request the raise. Say no-- and mean it. Learn to drive a race car or climb a tall hill. Learn to snorkel or surf. Dreams remain dreams until you act upon them. Then they become real life. Will you throw a few coins into the beggar's cup, or will you bring him a hamburger and fries from the local fast-food place? Will you do an average job at work, or will you look for ways to go big-- really give it your best-- in the everyday areas of your job? Will you put your all-- your heart and emotions-- into the relationship with the people you love? Will you wait for another more convenient time to pray, or will you start genuinely trusting God? You don't have to get a life. You've already got one. Live it, and live big. God, help me let go of my fear and timidity, and learn to live big. ************************************************ Layers of Feeling Coping with Passive Aggression Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless and want to avoid their own true feelings. Many people are taught from a young age to suppress feelings commonly regarded as negative, such as anger, resentment, fear, and sorrow. Those who cannot or will not express these emotions tend to engage in passive- aggressive behaviors that provide them with a means of redirecting their feelings. Passive aggression can take many forms: People who feel guilty saying “no” may continually break their promises because they couldn’t say no when they meant it. Others will substitute snide praise for a slur to distance themselves from the intense emotions they feel. More often than not, such behavior is a cry for help uttered by those in need of compassion and gentle guidance. When we recognize passive-aggressive patterns in the behavior of others, we should never allow ourselves to be drawn into a struggle for power. Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless in the face of what they perceive as negative emotions because they hope to avoid confronting their true feelings. They feel they are in control because they do not display overt emotion and often cannot understand how they have alienated their peers. If someone close to us shows signs of frustration or annoyance but claims nothing is amiss, we can point out that their tone of voice or gestures are communicating a different message and invite them to confide in us. When we feel slighted by a backhanded compliment, it is important that we calmly explain how the jibe made us feel and why. And when an individual continually breaks their promises, we can help them understand that they are free to say no if they are unwilling to be of service. As you learn to detect passive aggression, you may be surprised to see a hint of it in yourself. Coping with the natural human tendency to veil intense emotions can be as simple as reminding yourself that expressing your true feelings is healthy. The emotions typically regarded as negative will frequently be those that inspire you to change yourself and your life for the better, whereas passive-aggressive behavior is a means of avoiding change. When you deal constructively with your feelings, you can put them behind you and move forward unencumbered by unexplored emotion. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************ A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Just for today, I'll not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless fears, I'll track them down and expose their unreality. I'll remind myself that God is in charge of me and my life, and that all I have to do is accept His protection and guidance. What happened yesterday need not trouble me today. Do I accept the fact that it's in my power to make today a good one just by the way I think about it and what I do about it? Today I Pray May I make today a good day. May I know that it is up to me to assign to it qualities of goodness, through a positive attitude toward what the present is providing. May I be untroubled by vestiges of yesterday. Please, God, remain close to me all through this day. Today I Will Remember To make it good. ************************************************ One More Day Once you have experienced the seriousness of your loss you will be able to experience the wonder of being alive. -- Robert Veninga Age and illness force us to come to terms with the sometimes harsh reality of being human. When someone close to us dies, we may be overwhelmed with sadness. We might grieve over and over until it seems we can grieve no more. And then we begin to heal. Granted, it takes time and a good bit of faith, but we do recover. Slowly. One day at a time. Many of us have experienced sorrow over changes in our health. With time and faith, however, we're learning that the anger and sadness also heal. And eventually we recognize that our experience has made us more sensitive, more caring, and more receptive to the gift of life. I will grieve my losses and then move, once again, into a fulfilling, joyful life. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ Patience ~ There is no fruit which is not bitter before it is ripe. Publilius Syrus There are some things in life you simply cannot rush. In the early stages of my disease, I went through life like a steam roller ... impatiently starting one project after another. If there was something in my life that depended on the actions of another for resolution, it was excruciating while waiting on the decision. As a result, sometimes decisions were forced. I have made many bad decisions because of lack of patience. I have learned that sometimes we have to turn decisions over to others ... we have to let go and let others take control. We must wait it out and hope that our decision to let go was a good one. Many times it is. Sometimes it isn't. I have become a very patient person ... and sometimes that is to my detriment. It can be hard to find a middle ground in the decision making process. Snap decisions aren't good. Neither are those we sit on forever. One Day at a Time . . . I will patiently wait on my Higher Power to direct me ... to guide me ... and to help me with the decisions I must make. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote "Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help." Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 62 Hour To Hour - Book - Quote When our muscles tighten, we get tense, headachy; when we sweat, feel like screaming, this is withdrawal; it is not fun. But in order to recover, the poisons must leave our body. We stay close to the Fellowship and ask God to help. Please help me one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time if need be. Patience with Myself Today, I will be patient with myself. When I do not do as well as I wish I would, I will not make that a reason to get down on myself. I will instead recognize that the fastest way to bring myself out of a painful funk is through understanding and being good to myself. I needn’t get caught in my own cycle of shame, resentment and blame. If a child is upset, I comfort the child because I understand that is what will makes things better. I give myself the same comfort that I would extend to a hurt child knowing that it will help me have the strength to forgive and move on - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Often the shadow of addiction falls across out good intentions. It is so hard to stay sober and clean at times. This is not a picnic for us. When it gets unbearable, ASK FOR HELP from a recovering fellow addict, your counselor, your pastor or your group. The Divine gently nudges me to ask for help, as I need it. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Don’t tell your Higher Power how big the problem is; tell the problem how big your Higher Power is. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am exactly where I am supposed to be today. Everything about this day, this place, this moment is perfect. Everything about me is perfect in this moment. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Worrying is like being in a rocking chair; it gives me something to do but it doesn’t get me anywhere. – Anon.
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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