Today's Thought - February

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February 1

We're not here to lose our sense of humor.

~Richie Berlin

Being too serious is habit-forming. However, many aspects of our lives are serious and need to be addressed. Our disease, for one, is very serious. Working the Twelve Step program to the best of our ability is serious too. So are being honest and loving with friends, taking responsibility for all of our behavior, and being willing to change. But we can get in the habit of being too serious in many areas of our lives where a lighter touch is called for.

Cultivating laughter, so it too can become habit-forming, benefits us immeasurably; however, this may not be easy. Our family of origin taught us that some things were funny and other things weren't. If we were laughed at rather than encouraged to see the humor in situations affecting us, we may find it hard to be comfortable with anyone's laughter. But we can work on this. We can begin by spending time with people who laugh and see the humor in situations that affect them. Our families were our earliest teachers; we can pick some new teachers now.

The more often I laugh today, the lighter my spirit will feel and the healthier my emotional life will become.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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February 2

Before talking of holy things, we prepare ourselves by offering...One will fill his pipe and hand it to the other who will light it and offer it to the sky and the earth...They will smoke together...Then we will be ready to talk.

~Mato-Kuwapi, Santee Yankton Sioux

Rituals prepare us for moments of spiritual experience. They bring people together; they mark occasions; they give us metaphors through our senses that expose us to mystery, awe, peace, and wisdom. Traditional spiritual practices all use ritual to reach toward God. In our meetings, we also have rituals that accomplish these things.

We may have dismissed ritual in our cynical minds, thinking of it as irrelevant hocus-pocus. But when we seek connection with other people, or with God, we learn that ritual is a way to set our cynical minds aside and open ourselves to the presence. Even in our private time of prayer and meditation, we may light a candle as a sign of our spiritual search.

Today, I will honor the rituals that create conscious contact.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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February 3

AA Thought for the Day

Fellowship is a big part of staying sober. The doctors call it group therapy. We never go to an AA meeting without taking something out of it. Sometimes we don't feel like going to a meeting and we think of excuses for not going. But we usually end up by going anyway. And we always get some lift out of every meeting. Meetings are part of keeping sober. And we get more out of a meeting if we try to contribute something to it. Am I contributing my share at meetings?
Meditation for the Day

"He brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock and established my goings." The first part, "He brought me up out of a horrible pit," means that by turning to God and putting my problems in His hands, I am able to overcome my sins and temptations. "He set my feet upon a rock" means that when I trust God in all things, I have true security. "He established my goings" means that if I honestly try to live the way God wants me to live, I will have God's guidance in my daily living.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that my feet may be set upon a rock. I pray that I may rely on God to guide my comings and goings.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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February 4

Nothing that is worth doing can be done alone, but has to be done with others.

~Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr

We who are blessed with a close-knit family, where thoughts and actions can be discussed and developed, are aware that what is given is not as important as what is shared. As we help one another, we learn that sharing can never exist unless we care first. This is the major ingredient of love.

Albert Schweitzer described human service toward a common goal as the greatest of deeds. Charles Dickens assured us that when we lighten the burdens of another, we can never consider ourselves useless. Those of us who are led today may show the way tomorrow. In giving, we receive, and in getting we cannot avoid being givers.

What do I receive by giving today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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February 5

To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.

~Chinese proverb

We're going down a new road - in our recovery and in our lives. We don't know the road. We only know we're on the right one, because our Higher Power led us here. We ask for help from those who already know the road. We ask our sponsor, "How far is it until I get done feeling guilty?" "How far to self-love?" "How bumpy is the road when I’m at Step Four?"

We need the help of people who have been in the program. They tell us where to slow down because this part of the trip is beautiful. Someday, maybe today, we too will be called on to guide others.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, You've put me on this road. You've also put others on this road. Let them be my guides. Let my guides become my friends.
Action for the Day

Today I'll find someone who has been in the program two or more years longer than me. I'll ask that person what the road ahead is like.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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February 6

I sidestep the either/or choices of logic and choose both.

~Ken Feit

Men like us have often had a lifestyle guided by either/or logic. We think either we must conquer the challenge we see before us or we will be failures. We think either our loved ones must meet our needs or they do not love us. We think either we must be perfect or we are unacceptable.

Let us now step back from the rigidity of such unhealthy logic. Much of human experience and many answers to our problems don't come in neatly tied packages. As we learn to think and feel in more flexible ways, we find life gets better. Using our intuition at times, rather than always following rigid rules for life, improves the recipe. The arrogance of our thought process has sometimes told us we had the answer, but it closed us to the growth which only comes by trusting our feelings. If we make mistakes, we can learn from them and go on. Many of the most ingenious inventions came not by rigidly following rules, but by following an inner feeling.

Today, I will be open to more possibilities in my thinking.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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February 7

The Gifts of Rest

At its core, resting is about being and not doing. It's about slowing down, breathing, setting devices aside, pausing and being still, being quiet. We often equate resting with sleeping, and getting enough sleep at night or taking a nap can be part of resting, but they aren't the whole enchilada.

Some people think that resting is an unproductive waste of time, but the opposite is true. Rest is a gift you give yourself, full stop. But if productivity is important to you, you should know that you will always be more productive on the other side of rest. You are better off to rest before you get tired. When we're tired, we're more susceptible to all sorts of things, like drawing on coping mechanisms that don't serve us. When we're tired, we pull from adrenaline for energy. Do you know what that means? We make things exciting - we manufacture excitement - so we can pull some energy from it. How about we manufacture energy by resting?

Can you schedule rest breaks throughout your day so that you can relax, refresh, or recover? Treat time as your friend. Lose any guilt you have about resting.

Rest is a crucial part of recovery.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

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February 8

Taking care of today

If we want to be free of chemicals, then we must begin making changes right where we are today. Idly wishing for the past to be removed or the future to come closer gets us nothing. We must focus on today to make possible a better tomorrow.

This requires a clear understanding of what we can and cannot do today. So let us not distress ourselves by dwelling in the past or future, but express ourselves to the fullest today.

Have I learned to take care of today?

Higher Power, guide me in my activities today and keep me from dwelling on the past or the future.

I will take care of today by...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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February 9

Community in the Army and in Recovery

I joined the Army when I was seventeen years old. My first duty station was Berlin. If you ever think about what a POW camp looks like, that was Berlin, because we were surrounded by a wall and about 200,000 East German soldiers.

The bonds that I had with the people in my platoon were a huge part of my active-duty experience. These are the guys that you bled with, you sweated with, you trained with. You entrusted your life to these guys.

When I left active duty, I came back to the States and went to college. I immediately felt out of place. I was surrounded by other students who hadn't been deployed. I felt lost. I started drinking to try to feel normal.

But in recovery, I have found that solidarity again. The bonds that I have with my veteran community are amazing. We can talk about our time in the military and our time on the streets, because we've had the same experiences. It's almost like a family. These people are a key component of my recovery.

Today I will seek out connection,
because it is the opposite of addiction.

~JR W., U.S. Army, 1987–1995

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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February 10

Reflection for the Day

I have been told over and over that I must constantly work to give up my old ideas. "That’s easy for you to say," I've sometimes thought. All my life, I have been programmed, computer-style; specific inputs brought forth predictable responses. My mind still tends to react as a computer reacts, but I am learning to destroy the old tapes and literally reprogram myself. Am I fully willing to abandon my old ideas? Am I being fearless and thorough on a daily basis?
Today I Pray

Help me to take inventory each day of my stock of my new, healthy thoughts, throwing out the old ones as I happen upon them without regret or nostalgia. For I have outgrown those old ideas, which are as scuffed and run over as an old pair of shoes. Now, in the light, I can see that they are filled with holes.
Today I Will Remember

The program reprograms.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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February 11

The friendships we enjoy through this Twelve Step program are unconditional, honest, intimate, and lasting.

The freedom to let people know who we really are is perhaps the most treasured of all the gifts of this program. For most of our lives, we suffered from the fear that if people really knew us, they wouldn't like us. Worse yet, they'd abandon us. Our perpetual fear and shame kept us isolated. And we were so alone and lonely.

Today we have friends who are as close as a quick phone call. These women and men have struggled, as we are struggling, with the power of addiction in loved ones. With our friends in the program we can openly share our fears and anger. From our friends in the program we receive solace and guidance. We feel confident that our friends accept us wholly, that they won't judge us for our actions or for the behavior of our children or spouses. We can enjoy times of peace, at last, because of these new friends.

How grateful I feel that I have friends who will be glad to hear from me if I make a call. I won't be scared and lonely today.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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February 12

I am both a conservative and a radical; I would conserve what is valuable but willingly change what requires changing.

~Eric Maisel

We have the responsibility not to make promises lightly or thoughtlessly; the commitments we make to ourselves and others are important. But consistency doesn't mean we're never allowed to change our thinking or our lives.

As we plan our day, let's remind ourselves of our primary purpose, planning to keep the promises and commitments we've made. Let's also examine things we're doing that are a source of discomfort and consider departing from a habit or personal tradition that no longer fits us. Our sense of ourselves can be independent and fluid enough to support our growth. We can open our minds about what is possible for us to be and do, and we can bring our lives into truer alignment with our deep understanding of ourselves.

Let's plan that as new situations arise, we will make any new commitments with care, first considering our ability and willingness to keep them. We need not be limited by local ideas and customs, by roles that have been imposed by the culture, or by others' expectations of how we ought to express our identity.

Today, I expand my sense of who I am and can be.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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February 13

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

~Step Three of Al-Anon

Surrendering to a Power greater than ourselves is how we become empowered. We become empowered in a new, better, more effective way than we believed possible.

Doors open. Windows open. Possibilities occur. Our energy becomes channeled, at last, in areas and ways that work for us. We become in tune with the Plan for our life and our place in the Universe.

And there is a Plan and Place for us. We shall see that. We shall know that. The Universe will open up and make a special place for us, with all that we need provided. It will be good. Understand that it is good, now.

Learning to own our power will come, if we are open to it. We do not need to stop at powerlessness and helplessness. That is a temporary place where we re-evaluate where we have been trying to have power when we have none.

Once we surrender, it is time to become empowered. Let the power come, naturally. It is there. It is ours.

Today, I will be open to understanding what it means to own my power, I will accept powerlessness where I have no power; I will also accept the power that is mine to receive.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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February 14

The trouble with loving our neighbor as ourselves is that most of us do.

~Toni W.

Many people find it difficult to care about others as much as they care about themselves. The problem for us is quite different.

We can only give what we have. And the only love we have to give is the love that we've experienced for ourselves. That is our problem. Many of us have learned to feel shame at every turn, to expect abandonment, to look at the world through dark glasses. We haven't experienced ourselves as worthy objects of love - not often enough and not long enough. So the love we accord to ourselves is often tentative, conditional, halfhearted, and downright skimpy. Many of us are only able to love ourselves as long as it doesn't inconvenience or cause pain to others.

If we want to have more to give to others, we must first give more to ourselves.

Today, I will think about all the reasons I am lovable. I will demonstrate this love in all my dealings.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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February 15

I'm more like I am now than I ever was before.

~Anonymous

We are becoming more ourselves. That is our true calling. If we grow wiser and stronger with life experience, we learn to know ourselves, and we find the confidence and courage to fulfill our best self. We walk a path that is sometimes very difficult and complicated. Weighing the choices before us, we seldom have a clear, unequivocal answer. But as we know ourselves better and as we gain confidence, we gradually fulfill our true nature.

A story in the Talmud describes a man at the end of his life who fears that he will be judged by God for not living a life like Moses. The rabbi replies that God will not judge him for not being Moses, but for not being himself.

Today, I will allow myself to be more like I am than I ever did before.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*