Daily Practice - November

[bluidkiti]

November 16

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 17-
Ch-2- There Is A Solution:
WE, OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered. They have solved the drink problem.
We are average Americans. All sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented, as well as many political, economic, social, and religious backgrounds. We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful. We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to Captain's table. Unlike the feelings of the ship's passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined.
The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.

-Tom- In AA we say that everything we do are just suggestions. The funny thing is, they are the only suggestions we offer.
And why is that? Because for 86 years, all over the globe, Millions of people have recovered using this prescription for sobriety:
1-the planned program of recovery with precise clear cut directions to follow.
2-the Power of The Fellowship.
This prescription for untreated alcoholism and drug addiction is guaranteed to work, if Practiced on a daily basis.
If you are a Alcoholic/addict like me, it’s a good deal.
Give it a shot, hell, try and prove it wrong.
I dare you.
I pray that today I am Given the Strength to Live my Life to the fullest.

[bluidkiti]

November 17

Practice of the Day-
BB pg-30-
Ch-3- More About Alcoholism:
MOST OF us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

-Tom- There were a couple of words that I needed to look up the actual definition for;
Delusion- psychotic and unshakable belief in something that is not true.
Concede- admit something is valid or true after first denying or resisting it.
I had the delusion that I could control and enjoy my drinking like non alcoholic people do. My life experiences proved that wasn’t true, for me, where it pertains to drinking.
Not every time I drank did I do terrible things, but every time I did terrible things I was had been drinking.
I had to concede to myself that I was an alcoholic which meant that I had a mental obsession, a physical allergy and I was capable of doing anything once alcohol was in my body.
My life experiences proved those facts were true for me.
I pray that today I have the Courage to embrace the Facts about my Life. What is working and what is not.

[bluidkiti]

November 18

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 50-
Ch 4- We Agnostics:
In our personal stories you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which is greater than himself. Wether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. Experience has taught us that these are matters about which, for our purpose, we need not be worried.
On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed. Everyone of them has gained access to, and believes in, a Power greater than himself. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. As a celebrated American statesman put it “let’s look at the record.”

-Tom- it was relieving to know that I did not have to solve my alcoholism. I just had to find My own Higher Power, and He solved the problem. All I had to do was the Step work and follow the directions of my Sponsor.
The Process of doing and practicing all 12 Steps, removes the parts of my self concept that no longer serve me or support the Life I am attempting to live today.
I pray that today I have the Willingness to do the work that is necessary to acquire a conscious contact with my Higher Power, and allow Him to solve my problem.

[bluidkiti]

November 19

Practice of the Day-
BB pg-62-
Ch-5- How It Works:
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.

-Tom- I can relate to the Truth of those paragraphs, completely.
However, at the beginning I had to have my sponsor point it out for me because of that one line “though he usually doesn’t think so.”
We talked about it, wrote about it and talked about it some more. When I finally realized how selfish and self-centered I truly was, especially when I was pretending to be generous just to get what I wanted, it was very overwhelming and hurt a lot.
My sponsor said “all of that is too big for us to deal with, that is why we go to our Higher Power with it all and just keep moving through the Steps.”
If my problem is with other people, places and things, I’m pretty screwed.
If my problem is me, then that’s something we can work on.
I pray that today I remember to keep my finger pointed at my problem, which is me, and then get to work on the Solution.

[bluidkiti]

November 20

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 50-
Ch 4- We Agnostics:
In our personal stories you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which is greater than himself. Wether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. Experience has taught us that these are matters about which, for our purpose, we need not be worried.
On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed. Everyone of them has gained access to, and believes in, a Power greater than himself. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. As a celebrated American statesman put it “let’s look at the record.”

-Tom- it was relieving to know that I did not have to solve my alcoholism. I just had to find My own Higher Power, and He solved the problem. All I had to do was the Step work and follow the directions of my Sponsor.
The Process of doing and practicing all 12 Steps, removes the parts of my self concept that no longer serve me or support the Life I am attempting to live today.
I pray that today I have the Willingness to do the work that is necessary to acquire a conscious contact with my Higher Power, and allow Him to solve my problem.

[bluidkiti]

November 21

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 21
Ch 2-There is a Solution:
Here is the fellow that has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking. He is a real Dr Jekyll and Mr Hide. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously
anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees........

-Tom- my sponsor would often stop and ask me if I could relate to the what we read. He said it was very important because if I could not relate to what we were reading and talking about, why would I continue?
Another reason why it is important for me to relate is because I suffer from
Terminal Uniqueness.
Terminal Uniqueness requires that I cannot relate to anyone and no one or nothing can relate to me. It sounds like this “you don’t know me, you don’t understand what I’ve been through, this will never work, you just don’t get it, I am different, my issues are different than yours, I’m just too damaged.......etc”
All my life, I had looked for the “differences”, and I found them.
Sobriety taught me to discard the differences and look for the “similarities”, and I found them.
Whatever I am “looking for”, I will find.
I pray that today I look for similarities and not just pick out the differences.

[bluidkiti]

November 22

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 60-
Ch 5- How It Works:
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.
Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and what do we do?

-Tom- at this point, my sponsor asked me if I was convinced that a,b and c were true in my life. He then turned them into direct questions -example- “are you convinced that you are an alcoholic and could not manage your own life?” same for b and c. I was convinced and said yes to all three. He said because you are convinced, we can Continue.
This is also where the rubber meets the road on how much time and effort I have put into developing my “own conception of God”. If I have not put the work into constructing my own understanding of God, why would I turn my thinking and my actions over to something I don’t know or trust?
The answer is simple,
I won’t and will continue to half ass the program and wonder why it didn’t work.
My sponsor was key in slowing me down, making me think about what I was doing and why I was doing it. On my own I would have just tried to go as fast as I could and make mistakes without knowing it.
My sponsor knew better.
Today I pray that I remember learning to live without drinking is a one day at a time Adventure and I cannot do it on my own.

[bluidkiti]

November 23

Practice of the day-
BB pg 6-
Ch 1- Bill’s Story:
The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle was not there. My brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. I hardly dared cross the street, lest I collapse and be run down by a early morning truck, for it was scarcely daylight. An all night place supplied me with a dozen glasses of ale. My writhing nerves were stilled at last. A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell again. Well, so had I. The market would recover, but I wouldn’t. That was a hard thought. Should I kill myself? No—not now. Then a mental fog settled down. Gin would fix that. So two bottles, and—oblivion.

-Tom- That is very similar to my story of my last few months of drinking to live and living to drink. Getting to oblivion was the goal, and I did, only problem is I couldn’t stay there and had to start the living Hell all over again, and again, and again, and again.
Early sobriety was the hardest thing I’ve ever done my entire life. They told me it was supposed to be hard, that was normal.
But my sponsor said He guaranteed I could do it if I just kept doing the basics everyday:
-Gratitude list
-Communication with my Higher Power
-Do my Step Work
-Go to a Meeting
-Talk with my Sponsor
My sobriety requires a daily commitment, and, if you are like me, I suspect yours does too. I am responsible for my own sobriety. Not my sponsor, family, friends, I am responsible to do the Work.
I pray that today I remember where I come from, so I don’t have to go back.

[bluidkiti]

November 24

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 154-155-
Ch 11-A Vision For You
Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hopefully at a side table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? After all, had he not been sober for six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was that old, insidious, insanity—that first drink. With a shiver he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar.
But what about his responsibilities—his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah—yes, those other alcoholics? There must be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked God. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.

-Tom- Remember there was no AA in this part of the story. Bill searched the churches for drunks, then helped them. The one he found ended up being Dr Bob.
I remember wanting to stay sober so so bad, and then got drunk. So wanting to didn’t work.
I remember Needing to stay sober for an event, deadline, job or special family occasion, but got drunk. So Needing to stay sober didn’t work.
So wanting and needing to stay sober didn’t keep me sober.
What keeps me sober is DOING the things that sober alcoholics in AA do, no matter how I feel. It was a relief to me to know I didn’t have to feel like doing it or wanting to do it, I just had to do it and as a byproduct, I would stay sober.
Today I pray that I have the Courage to Trust in my God, clean my house and help others.

[bluidkiti]

November 25

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 42-
Ch 3, More About Alcoholism:
“Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully. Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window. That was not easy. But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be.

-Tom- Early Sobriety, was the hardest thing I have ever done my entire life. Fortunately for me, I had sober men in my life that told me it would be extremely hard, but completely worth it.
Many people are under the misconception that getting sober and staying sober will be a bit difficult but not too hard. Soon, they find, that is not the case.
I have never really done anything half ass in my life, for long. Sobriety would be no different. I would choose to either be “in” or “out”, commit fully or continue down the path that got me to my bottom.
I committed myself to doing what my sponsor said and all 12 steps of AA, with the intent of proving to y’all that this program would not work for a person as damaged and broken as me.
With that intent, I got sober.
I pray that today I have the Strength to Commit to the Process of sobriety, fully.
With My Last Breath.

[bluidkiti]

November 26

Practice of the Day-
BB pg- 567-568-
Ch- Appendice II, Spiritual Experience:
Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule. Most of our experiences are what the psychologist William James calls the “educational variety” because they develop slowly over a period of time. Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. He finally realizes he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life; that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone. What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self-discipline. With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.

-Tom-My sponsor said, when we just stop drinking and come into AA, many amazing things begin to happen: we get straight with the law, start taking care of ourselves, get a vehicle, maybe a license, clean clothes and maybe some money in our pocket.
All of that, is like putting a suit on a pig, because nothing has changed on the inside.
Sobriety is an inside job and we work on our insides by following the directions of the Steps , out of the BB with our sponsors. For Alcoholics and addicts of the Hopeless Variety, it is the only way.
Today I pray that I Remember that I am sober today only by the Grace of my God, which I found through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[bluidkiti]

November 27

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 67-68-
Ch 5- How It Works:
Notice the word “fear” is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife. This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble.
We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn’t go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn’t fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.

-Tom- When I reviewed my fears in my 4th step inventory, I saw that I had been afraid my entire life. Some of my fears were legitimate, some were self created circumstances, some just in my head.
I didn’t like feeling afraid, so I turned it into anger and then into violence and then you would be afraid of me. So that was how I addressed fear prior to AA.
I can ask myself “what is my life and decisions driven by today, fear or love?”
If your answer is fear, then put them on paper and review them, through the process of the 4th Step, then Continue all the way to 12.
If your answer is Love, then Continue doing 10,11,12, living in the Solution, and giving freely of what you find.
I pray that today I remember, I may not know what the future holds, but I know Who holds it

[bluidkiti]

November 28

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 94-
Ch 7- Working With Others:
Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery. Actually he may be helping you more than you are helping him. Make it plain he is under no obligation to you, that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties. Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own. Make it clear that he is not under any pressure, that he needn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to. You should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for he has helped you more than you have helped him. If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding,
you have perhaps made a friend. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. This is all to the good. The more hopeless he feels, the better. He will be more likely to follow your suggestions.

-Tom- One of the first questions my sponsor asked was “Do you want to feel better or do better?” Before I could answer him he said “your answer better be, you want to do better. Because you have been trying to feel better your whole life and look where that has gotten you.”
Ultimately, doing better is the Path to feeling better, not the other way around.
I can ask myself, am I really carrying the Message of AA to the new man, one on one?
If your answer is yes, then Continue to give that which was freely given to you and reap the rewards of those actions.
If your answer is no, then start today by taking the time and talking to a newcomer after the meeting.
I pray that today I remember what my sponsor said to me when I asked him
“ how could I ever repay you for all you have done for me?” He said,
“Give what I gave to you, to the next man in need”

[bluidkiti]

November 29

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 86-
Ch 6- Into Action:
(Referencing the directions for the 11th Step)
On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from
self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

-Tom- My sponsor took a lot of time making sure I understood these particular instructions for the morning portion of the 11th step.
-first lesson was when I should do the 11th step- “upon awakening” meaning first thing of every morning. Personally I need a cup of coffee in me before my brain wakes up, then I get after it.
-second lesson- go directly to my God and ask Him to divorce (which means,
Dis-union) my mind from self-pity, dishonesty and self-seeking motives. The most important thing is that I am asking Him to do that for me, I cannot do it myself. Remember at the beginning we established “the main problem of the alcoholic/addict centers in his mind rather than in his body”. I can’t change me, I don’t have the Power, but my Higher Power does. This is not a “self-help” program, it is a “Higher Power reliance” program.
-third lesson- it is not until the 11th step that
AA says “now you can use your brain and start thinking, and this is how we go about thinking”
I would not be able to think clearly and confidently unless I had completed the 10 previous Steps.
I pray that today I put all my efforts in the Solution and pay no attention to the problem.

[bluidkiti]

November 30

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 13-14-
Ch 1- Bill’s Story:
My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a new way of living which answered all my problems. Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements.
Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.

-Tom- at the beginning of the paragraph, when he says “my friend promised when these things were done”. The things he is talking about is Steps 1 through 12.
My sponsor told me that AA is a place where we learn to Live without drinking, not a place to learn to stop drinking.
You see, my problem was not drinking, drinking was my solution. My problem was, I did not know how to move through and live my life without drinking.
I needed a new way of Living, obviously, my way did not work.
I can ask myself, “is the way I am living my life, working for me and my sobriety?”
If your answer is yes, then Continue staying sober, Living, Loving, learning, kicking ass and growing along the way.
If your answer is no, then give our design for Living a shot, you have nothing to lose.
Today I pray for the strength to choose to be Humble so that I will not have to be Humbled.