Today's Thought - September

[bluidkiti]

September 16

When I feed on resentments and anger, I am giving someone else rent-free space in my head.

~Kathy Kendall

Becoming consumed by our emotions is all too familiar. It was a favorite pastime before we got clean and sober, and it still may "own" us. Much to our dismay, sponsors remind us that we're getting a payoff or we wouldn't continue the practice. They also tell us it's never too late to give it up.

We can begin immediately. Let's breathe in the positive. It takes the same effort as dwelling on resentments, and the outcome is so much healthier. Let's bring our blessings to mind first. Breathe in the images of friends and the smiles we share. Breathe in the image of our Higher Power and those comforting arms. Breathe in the bright light of healing that is the program's gift. Breathe in the peace that comes with knowing all is finally well.

Giving our minds over to loving images heals us. The hurts of the past can reach us no more if we breathe in the good.

I will breathe in my Higher Power today. I will dwell on the safety and serenity of my journey.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

[bluidkiti]

September 17

I don't have to be what you want me to be.

~Muhammad Ali

We only truly become ourselves from the inside out. During our active addiction, many of us tried so hard to please others that we lost any sense of who we were, or we created an external image that would get others to like us. Some of us lost ourselves in codependently taking care of others. So much focus on others never led us to know ourselves or truly develop our interior private self.

This program, with its twelve suggested Steps, is really a road map for the formation of a true self. At the beginning, we may feel empty inside, as if hardly any self exists. But at least some small, undeveloped self is always there, and it will grow. By taking inventory of ourselves, by becoming accountable for our actions, and by developing our spirituality, we become truly whole.

Today, I will be the person I know from inside myself and not try to create an image to please others.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

[bluidkiti]

September 18

AA Thought for the Day

Another of the mottoes of AA is "Live and let live." This, of course, means tolerance of people who think differently than we do, whether they are in AA or outside of AA. We cannot afford the luxury of being intolerant or critical of other people. We do not try to impose our wills on those who differ from us. We are not "holier than thou." We do not have all the answers. We are not better than other good people. We live the best way we can, and we allow others to do likewise. Am I willing to live and let live?
Meditation for the Day

"And this is life eternal, that we may know Thee, the only true God." Learning to know God as best you can draws the eternal life nearer to you. Freed from some of the limitations of humanity, you can grow in the things that are eternal. You can strive for what is real and of eternal value. The more you try to live in the consciousness of the unseen world, the gentler will be your passing into it when the time comes for you to go. This life on earth should be largely a preparation for the eternal life to come.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may live each day as though it were my last. I pray that I may live my life as though it were everlasting.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

[bluidkiti]

September 19

It is better to be wanted too much than not at all.

~Anonymous

It may seem that so many people want our time and love. Parents say we don't call often enough. Children demand our time. Our partner says we're gone too much. Our sponsor tells us to check in more often.

When we feel put off balance by all these people, we need to stop and rest. We need to remember how lonely we were when we were using. No one wanted our time and love then! Now we’re important to others again.

We can handle all this by giving people what they need and ask for, within reason - not what we think they need, which may be way too much. Maybe we need Al-Anon too, to learn to love others while still taking care of ourselves.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me put my time and energy to best use today. Help me find the balance I need between work, play, loving others, and self-care.
Action for the Day

When I feel I have to give too much today, I'll stop and ask my Higher Power for guidance.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

[bluidkiti]

September 20

A man can stand a lot as long as he can stand himself.

~Axel Munthe

Sometimes we're mistaken about the source of our unhappiness. We walk around with a short fuse, ready to explode if anyone crosses our path. Then, when we do explode, we think it is the other person's fault. At other times we have frightening physical reactions and worry that something is wrong with our bodies. But we are not aware that the problem is caused by a deeper feeling of not being able to stand ourselves.

Most of us have problems accepting ourselves. When we make peace with our conscience, some of our problems vanish. Other problems may never disappear, but our pain is eased because our inner battle has ceased, and we have the energy we need to cope.

I am grateful for the gift of self-respect this program gives me.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

[bluidkiti]

September 21

Simple Things

Life was very complicated for me at one point, which is why I am so drawn to the simplest things today. The word simple, means “easily understood and done.” It took me a while, but I understand simple now, and I do it quite well most days. It doesn’t mean I don’t add things to my life; I just add them in an intentional way.

Several years ago, I bought myself a milk frother so I could enjoy a creamy coffee or tea latte whenever I liked. It still brings me the greatest joy. I love reading and buy a lot of books but also treasure my trips to the public library. Having a novel on the go every day of my life is simple but entirely satisfying. A sunrise, a sunset, flannel pajamas, a puzzle (but not over one thousand pieces), playing with my little grandkids, or lighting a fire in the fireplace - these things fill me up more than any grandiose plans or projects ever could. Laura Ingalls Wilder said, “It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.” I can’t argue with that. How do you do simple?

I’m grateful for the simple things that I’ve learned to love in recovery.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

[bluidkiti]

September 22

Accepting misfortune

We all know that misfortune, great or small, is a part of life. But what we may not realize is that it involves both defeat and victory.

It’s not always easy to do what is necessary today, but it’s impossible to change yesterday or to guarantee what tomorrow will bring. Our year will unfold better by living each day as it comes instead of regretting the past or anticipating the future.

Am I learning to accept misfortune?

Higher Power, help me to accept the fact that there is great mystery in life.

Today I will work on accepting my misfortune by...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

[bluidkiti]

September 23

Stars have always helped me to get things into perspective … I tried to let the starlight heal something deep in me that hurt.

~Madeleine L'Engle

For a long time, people have used stars to find their way in the dark. Many a lost soul has been guided by the North Star or the Big Dipper.

If we watch the sky at night, we can see thousands of twinkling stars. They are our friends. They remind us how small we are. They remind us of the vastness of the universe, of the power and beauty that surround us.

Starlight in the sky, or reflected on a lake, can comfort us when we hurt. With safe and open arms, nature accepts our sorrow, no matter how we express it. Starlight, like all of nature, reflects a light that comes from way beyond us. It is that light that heals us in a deep and quiet way.

How has nature comforted me when I am troubled?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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September 24

Tag Team

Some people get ten feet tall when they drink. When I got drunk, I grew five inches taller. I was gorgeous. I was beautiful. I had a personality that wouldn't stop. I was all that and then some.

When I wasn't drinking, I was five foot three, quiet and hurt. I had that sore heart. It's because of the sore that I drank - to stop the pain. All I wanted was for it to stop, so I got help and started attending AA.

Now my twin sister and I have the same amount of time in recovery. She said if I could do it, she could do it. We kind of tag-teamed each other. But she still had to do her recovery work, and I did mine.

Today I remove the heart sore with healing and love rather than a drink or a drug.

~Stephanie C., U.S. Navy, 1978–1983

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

[bluidkiti]

September 25

Reflection for the Day

For a considerable period of time after I reached the program, I let things I couldn't do keep me from doing the things I could. If I was bothered by what a speaker or other people said, I retreated, sulking, into my shell. Now, instead of being annoyed or defensive when someone strikes a raw nerve, I try to welcome it - because it allows me to work on my attitudes and perceptions of my Higher Power, self, other people, and my life situation. We may no longer have active addictions, but we all certainly have an active thinking problem. Am I willing to grow - and grow up?
Today I Pray

May my Higher Power give me courage to test my new wings - even a feather at a time. May I not wait to be entirely whole before I re-enter the world of everyday opportunity, for recovery is ongoing, and growth comes through challenges. May I no longer make desperate stabs at perfection, but keep my aims in sight and develop as I live - a day at a time.
Today I Will Remember

Things I can't do should not get in the way of things I can.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

[bluidkiti]

September 26

Humility means being teachable.

Step Seven suggests that we humbly ask God to help us with our shortcomings, not other people's. Perhaps we fail to see our shortcomings on many occasions, or, when we do see them, we self-righteously justify them. We have honed in on other people's shortcomings far more often. Nevertheless, we can discover our own if we begin tracking our inner feelings. They are excellent indicators of the behavior(s) we need to change.

With God's help we can change or give up any behavior that hinders our lives and relationships. We don't have to yell in anger or pout over hurt feelings. Withholding our love or plotting revenge can be removed from our bank of reactions. We can ask God for freedom from any behavior we no longer want. And if we are willing to be free of the behavior, it will be removed - on God's timetable.

If I really want God's help in getting free of troubling behaviors, I simply have to ask. Help will come.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

[bluidkiti]

September 27

I wanted my hands to be rain for her to wash away all hurt.

~Minnie Bruce Pratt

Stories of others' suffering move us to want to help, to make the world a safer place, to share the healing we have experienced. We may feel powerless when we encounter others' suffering in the face of sickness, loss, or violence. We may be tempted to try to offer a "quick fix" so that we don't have to live with the anxiety another's pain causes us. We may feel frustrated that our love and concern can't make everything better. Or we may withdraw, overwhelmed by problems we know no way of solving.

At such times we can affirm that healing is a natural tendency and that others have a Higher Power working in their lives. We can offer unconditional love and moral support. If it's appropriate, we can share our experience, strength, and hope.

It doesn't help others when we're more active than they're willing to be in attempting to solve their problems, or when we neglect our own lives in the process.

Today, I offer love and understanding without trying to fix others.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

[bluidkiti]

September 28

Surrender to the pain. Then learn to surrender to the good. It's there and more is on the way.

~Beyond Codependency

Our goal in recovery is to make ourselves feel comfortable, peaceful, content. Happy. We want to be at peace with ourselves and our environment. Sometimes, to do that, we need to be willing to face, feel, and get through discomfort.

I am not talking here about being addicted to misery and pain. I am not talking about creating unnecessary pain. I'm talking about the legitimate discomfort we sometimes need to feel as we heal.

When we have surgery, the pain hurts most the day after the operation. When we do the kind of work we are facing in recovery, we are doing an emotional, mental, and spiritual surgery on ourselves. We're removing parts of us that are infected and inflamed. Sometimes the process hurts.

We are strong enough to survive discomfort and temporary feelings of emotional pain. Once we are willing to face and feel our discomfort and pain, we are almost to the point of release.

Today, I am willing to face my discomfort, trusting that healing and release are on the other side.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

[bluidkiti]

September 29

We don't have time not to have time.

~Gary Burke

To develop the habit of reflection means to take the time, regularly and often, to listen to ourselves, to ask how things are going, to think about what things we did today that were successful, and what things we did that were not so successful. When we reflect, we bend back to see where we have been so we can know where to go next.

Reflection breeds insight. "I never thought of it that way," can become a way of life, a limitless opportunity. But we must stand in the way of it if we want to see life and its possibilities in a new way. We have to make the time to reflect, and we have to stick with it until the thoughts flow. At times, our minds have to be literally pried open to make room for the fresh air of new ideas: reflection is the tool to use.

I will daily examine my life to see if I have taken the time to walk my road of recovery.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

[bluidkiti]

September 30

Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important.

~T. S. Eliot

Humility is a wonderful gift for us addicts. We tend to think we are better or worse than everyone else. We are not. Humility is simply knowing that we have a right to be alive and breathing as much as anyone else and no more.

Of course, we are different in some ways. We have different talents and gifts. We each have a great deal to offer, and that is good because there are a lot of needs in the world. Our job is to pitch in and make the work lighter for everyone.

Humility means taking on the role of showing up for life and doing our best. We don't expect others to do all the work for us. We don't stand outside the group feeling that we are not good enough to join in. We show up, suit up, and get to work.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thanks for helping me enjoy being part of the human race, for showing me that I'm a person who has gifts and talents that I need to share.
Today's Action

Today I will list the talents and gifts I bring to people. Then I will ask two people, "When you see me coming, what do you expect me to bring to whatever is going on?" I will write down what they say.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*