Today's Thought - May

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May 1

Sometimes the things that frighten you the most can turn out to be the biggest sources of strength.

~Iris Timberlake

Not many things would send fear through us if we remembered to rely on our Higher Power at all times. Yet we try to handle circumstances ourselves first. It’s often only when we finally feel hopeless that we turn to our Higher Power for the help that awaited us all along.

We make our lives much more difficult than they need to be. Let’s quit thinking through our problems alone, no matter how foolish they seem. Let’s quit trying to handle tough people alone. Let’s trust that every circumstance, no matter how small, is a lesson offered by God. And let’s know that the outcome will be the right one for our particular growth at that moment.

Things that frighten us do so only because we have failed to remember the presence of our Higher Power. Let’s pray for the willingness to remember God’s presence. When we do, we will know a new strength.

Today I will let God help me handle every moment of my day.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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May 2

Living the Twelve Step way is a twenty?four?hour?a?day opportunity.

Twelve Step programs expose us to ideas that seem foreign. It takes time to embrace a new value system we can live by every day. Absorbing and using these principles for every decision and action removes the worry from our lives.

Changing how we’ve thought and acted doesn’t happen overnight. Changing one thing at a time is enough at first. Perhaps we’ll give up our feeling of hopelessness. The Second Step tells us that God can free us from our insanity, our hopelessness. All we need do is ask for help, and hope will come. Maybe we decide the urge to take over someone else’s life must end. Doing the First Step numerous times a day will help us remember that we are powerless over everyone else. If discomfort from an old relationship keeps haunting us, maybe it’s time to make amends and get on with life.

Our value system shapes every part of our lives. Twelve Step philosophy simplifies our lives, particularly when the baggage of the past has been cleared away.

This isn’t a part-time program for me. I want to live by these principles every minute. My life will reflect how successfully I do it.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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May 3

Fortunate are the people whose roots are deep.

~Agnes Meyer

A tree’s roots seek water and minerals. Though the roots can’t be easily seen, they are there. The life of the tree depends on them. The stronger a tree’s roots, the higher a tree can grow.

We need to set deep roots into the soil of recovery. The soil of recovery is made up of the Twelve Steps, fellowship, and service to others. We’ll have to get through storms and high winds in our return to health. In so doing, we’ll become beautiful, strong, and spiritual. We’ll be able to live with both the gentle breezes and the heavy winds of life.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me believe in what I can’t see. Just as I believe that the roots of a tree are there because I can see the leaves, I believe in a Higher Power because I can see the results.
Action for the Day

I will ask myself, “Which Step do I need to work on the most right now?” I will volunteer to give a meeting on that Step.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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May 4

Come, Love! Sing On! Let me hear you sing this song—sing for joy and laugh, for I the creator am truly subject to all creatures.

~Mechthild of Magdeburg

Recovery without joy and song and playfulness is incomplete. The beauty of music uplifts our spirits and shows us the face of our Creator. For many men, music is their means of meditation and conscious contact with their Higher Power. When we experience the creativity of a musical piece, as it speaks to us, we take a step beyond the practical world into the profound level of creation.

Some people say, “How can you celebrate when there is so much suffering, so much to grieve about?” We have grieved, and we continue to grieve alongside our joy. But we need not pour all our energies into the painful and sad. Life is also wonderful. Music and dance and the joy of good fellowship enrich our lives and strengthen us to go on.

Praise the spirit of our Creator for all that is given to us!

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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May 5

… it is a peaceful thing to be one succeeding.

~Gertrude Stein

Success is at hand. While we read these words, we are experiencing it. At this very instant, our commitment to recovery is a sign of success, and we feel peace each time we let go of our struggle, turning to another for help, for direction. Because we strive only for perfection, we recognize nothing less; we block our awareness of the ordinary successes that are ours again and again. Thus, the serenity the program promises us eludes us. But we are succeeding. Every day that we are abstinent, we succeed.

We can think of the times—perhaps only yesterday—when we listened to a friend in need, or finished a task that was nagging at us. Maybe we made an appointment to begin a project we've been putting off. Success is taking positive action, nothing more.

Many of us, in our youth, were taught that success only came in certain shapes and sizes. And we felt like failures. We need new definitions; it's time to discard the old. Luckily for us, the program offers us new ones.

Every person, every situation, can add to my success today. My attitude can help someone else succeed, too.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

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May 6

Getting honest

There is an intuitive understanding between recovering addicts and newcomers. Old-timers know well the games that newcomers play at first. Newcomers are not asked what they’re thinking, they’re told what they’re thinking! They don’t need to be trapped into lies; old-timers tell them the lies they were about to tell.

Thus, in the beginning, we start to get honest because we hardly have a choice. We give up on playing games because there are no tricks left in the bag. Being confronted by others, we have to get honest—honest enough to save our lives.

Have I stopped playing games? Am I getting more honest?

Higher Power, let me be grateful for the intuition and quick tongue of my fellow members: They can help me get honest.

I will practice honesty today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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May 7

Reflection for the Day

So many of us suffer from despair. Yet we don’t realize that despair is purely the absence of faith. As long as we’re willing to turn to a Higher Power for help in our difficulties, we cannot despair. When we’re troubled and can’t see a way out, it’s only because we imagine that all solutions depend on us. The program teaches us to let go of overwhelming problems and let God handle them for us. When I consciously surrender, do I see faith at work in my life?
Today I Pray

May I, as a recovering person, be free of despair and depression, those two “down Ds” that are the result of feelings of helplessness. May I know that I am never without my Higher Power’s help, and that I am never helpless when my Higher Power is with me. If I have faith, I need never be “helpless and hopeless.”
Today I Will Remember

Despair is the absence of faith.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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May 8

The human brain forgets ninety percent of what goes on.

~Jan Milner

There were two women who shared a house and raised their daughters, two toddlers, together. Then one of the women got transferred to another city and moved with her daughter.

Ten years later, they had a reunion. The mothers asked their kids what they remembered about living together. Did they remember all the books? No. Did they remember a mom in the kitchen every morning, fixing eggs and toast? No.

What they remembered was playing in the pink bathtub for hours, pulling the pink shower curtain shut for privacy. And the morning the mothers sneaked in, turned off the lights, threw plastic cups and spoons over the curtain and cried, "It's raining spoons!" They laughed and laughed.

We are lucky in this life—our minds think laughter is what's worth remembering.

What laughter from yesterday can I remember today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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May 9

I suppose I began to drink heavily after I realized that the things I wanted most in life for myself and my writing were simply not going to happen.

~Raymond Carver

We may have a picture in our minds of what, for us, would be failure. When we surrender to the idea of failure, we’re putting things we can’t control in charge of our happiness.

There’s nothing wrong with setting goals; goals contribute to our success by firing the imagination, giving us a vision of what we’re working for. But when our goals depend on people and events over which we’re powerless, we may be setting ourselves up for unnecessary and unrealistic feelings of failure.

For today, our goal can be simply to show up, do the best we can, and turn the results over to a Power greater than ourselves. We can take more pleasure in the moment-to-moment experiences of a process when we’re not focused on judging the outcome. We can congratulate ourselves for having the courage to take risks and follow through.

Today, I honor myself for working toward my goals to the best of my ability.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day: Daily Meditations for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People*

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May 10

Directness

We feel safe around direct, honest people. They speak their minds, and we know where we stand with them.

Indirect people, people who are afraid to say who they are, what they want, and what they’re feeling, cannot be trusted. They will somehow act out their truth even though they do not speak it. And it may catch everyone by surprise.

Directness saves time and energy. It removes us as victims. It dispenses with martyrdom and games. It helps us own our power. It creates respectful relationships.

It feels safe to be around direct, honest people. Be one.

Today, I will own my power to be direct. I do not have to be passive, nor do I need to be aggressive. I will become comfortable with my own truth, so those around me can become comfortable with me.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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May 11

I spent twenty years before someone told me I could cut my losses.

~Michael K.

If we were thinking about spending a huge amount of money on a big house, you can bet we’d check first to see if the roof leaked or the basement flooded. We tend to be very careful about making major investments—and with good reason. Most of us just can’t afford to make a big mistake. Why, then, do so many of us jump so carelessly into relationships?

Before committing ourselves to a large emotional investment, we can examine the total “package.” We have every right to look very closely at a prospective relationship, to check it out, and to make a clear-eyed determination. Is the big draw that they “need” us? Beware. Is the person free, in fact, to make a relationship? Can the person function as a responsible adult? Is the person as committed to personal growth as we are?

If the relationship is healthy and growth-oriented, we need hesitate no longer. We can enter it knowing our optimism comes from positive, not negative, motives.

Today, I will think about my time and energy as my “capital.” I will ask my Higher Power to help me spend it wisely.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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May 12

Happiness is the sense that one matters.

~Sarah Trimmer

Often during our active addiction, we acted as if nothing mattered. We often treated people as if they didn’t matter unless they could be of some use to us. We acted as if we didn’t need others because we had our alcohol or drugs. Slowly we were choking off happiness. We didn’t see that when we acted as if nothing mattered, we were calling ourselves nothing. Void of happiness, filled with doubts, fears, anger, and self-pity, we found our way into recovery.

From the first day we entered, people have been telling us that we matter, to keep coming back. Over time we found ourselves laughing with people instead of at people. We could see that things mattered and that we mattered. As we did this, we found happiness returning. We smiled more. We laughed more—even at ourselves. We discovered that the world needs us.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, fill me with happiness. Help me to smile, laugh, and see that I matter. Help me live a life of joy.
Today's Action

Today I will try to see if I can make someone who is down smile and realize that he or she matters.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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May 13

We have too many high sounding words and too few actions that correspond with them.

~Abigail Adams

It is easier to talk about what we are going to do than to actually do it. We make good resolutions and can use fine phrases to express our intentions. But when it comes right down to it, we often fail to deliver.

Of course it is important to want to do good and to talk about it. But if we get lost in our addiction, we will find that the outside world tends to become shadowy and insubstantial compared to our obsessions. I want to help him with that task; I’d like to give her a surprise on her birthday—but in the meantime, it’s fantasy as usual. In our addiction we don’t have time or energy for other people. Obsession takes time; compulsion costs money. So the world must wait a while…

In recovery we grow tired of living this way, so isolated and self-absorbed. It takes time, patience, and support to break out and start to live again, but we can do it. We owe it to ourselves to turn good intentions into results in the real world.

I’m turning thoughts into actions and connecting with real, live people.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction*

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May 14

Accepting Ourselves

Wherever you go, there you are.

~Anonymous

There was once a time when we thought the grass was greener on the other side of the road. We knew people with whom we would trade lives in a minute. We even searched out new identities in new towns and cities. We thought we were looking for life when we changed our geography. The truth was different: we were really trying to escape our lives.

Somebody once said the only problem with taking a trip is having to take ourselves. How true this was for us before we found the program. Our biggest fear in finding who we really were was that we’d discover we were no different than we appeared to be.

Our challenge in recovery has been to learn to love ourselves. We have had to be forgiven for the shabby way we’ve treated ourselves.

I am a person with faults to be sure, but I am basically good and getting better, one day at a time. Wherever I go, I’m happy to find that there l am.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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May 15

The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

~Pliny the Elder

Since we’ve begun working our Twelve Step program, we’ve become certain of some very important things: The present moment is all we need to concern ourselves with; God is taking care of us; prayer and meditation are how we know this. Thus we have the tools for handling any situation.

We can also be fairly certain that God’s guidance will influence us to choose acts of love and forgiveness in any given encounter with another person. But we can’t control and can never be certain how another person will respond in any situation, no matter how loving our actions. There’s no certainty that our relationships will remain constant. We can’t prevent rejection and abandonment by others if that is their decision. But we can be certain that God will still be there to help us, and that if we remain open to God’s guidance, God will lead us safely through each moment’s experience.

Today I will enjoy the certainties that having God as my companion bring.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*