Today's Thought - December

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December 1

It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our Creator—our very self-consciousness—is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures.

~Annie Dillard

Getting outside of ourselves, moving beyond our own egos, opens the door to real communication with the people we'll meet today. We have to learn to look with loving appreciation into the soul of that person or child who stands before us. We have to practice being concerned with their needs before our own, and in time our concern will be genuine. The separation between us will exist no more.

This division from others, the barrier that keeps us apart, comes from our individual insecurities. We have grown accustomed to the quick comparisons of ourselves with those we meet. We determine them to be either inferior or superior to ourselves. Whatever gifts we have to offer each other are left unwrapped, at least for now.

Let's come together, truly together, with someone we've been holding off until now. We can trust that the people who have come into our lives are there by design. We are equal to them, and they to us. We need what they have to offer us, and their growth needs our gifts, too.

I will appreciate the design of my life today. l will draw myself close to the day.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

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December 2

New Relationship Behaviors

We talk much about new relationship behaviors in recovery: allowing others to be themselves without over-reacting and taking it personally, and owning our power to take care of ourselves. We talk about letting go of our need to control, focusing on self-responsibility, and not setting ourselves up to be victims by focusing on the other person while neglecting ourselves. We talk about having and setting healthy boundaries, talking directly, and taking responsibility for what we want and need.

While these behaviors certainly help us deal with addicted people, these are not behaviors intended only for use in what we call “dysfunctional relationships.”

These behaviors are our new relationship behaviors. They help us in stressful relationships. They can help us get through times of stress in healthy relationships.

The recovery behaviors we are learning are tools—healthy relationships skills—that help us improve the quality of all our relationships.

Recovery means self-care—learning to take care of ourselves and love ourselves—with people. The healthier we become, the healthier our relationships will become. And we’ll never outgrow our need for healthy behaviors.

Today, I will remember to apply my recovery behaviors in all my relationships—with friends and co-workers, as well as in any special love relationship. I will work hard at taking care of myself in the troublesome relationships, figuring out which skill might best apply. I will also consider ways that my healthy relationships might benefit from my new relationship skills.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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December 3

The race is not always to the swift but to those who keep on running.

~Anonymous

Recovery is mostly a long-distance runner’s game, not a sprinter’s. Frequently people begin recovery and attend group meetings with an energy that staggers the imagination. They are on every committee, constantly busy helping others, quick on giving advice. It all looks so good.

But there is a question: A year from now, or in five years, where will they be? Will they have skipped over so many of their own broken parts in a rush to heal others that shortly down the road they fall apart?

If recovery is to be likened to a race at all, it most certainly is about the plodding, patient, and humble runner who clearly knows that what is called for is to put one foot in front of the other and then do it again.

I am less interested in making a “big finish” than I used to be. I accept the fact that recovery is a long-term process.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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December 4

I really do believe that every human being has serious value. I’m in most people’s corner.

~Elaine Brown

To look past people’s flaws and see them as basically good is rare. There are many days when it is hard to look past our own flaws and see the goodness that lies behind our moods.

But we seem to be able to do just that when we sit in our meetings. We look past the illness of addiction; we look past each other’s character defects and keep reminding each other of the good that is part of us all. We cannot afford to let others give up on themselves. Our recovery is based on a collective “we.” If one of us does not have faith in themselves, then we allow shame to plant a seed.

There will be times we want to hide in our character defects; we will want to hide in shame. At these times we must remember, if we really believe we are good people, then aren’t we responsible to be good people? We must always ask ourselves, “Am I refusing to be in my own corner?”
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, you are always in my corner. Help me to believe in myself and others. Help me to see past my character defects and to be responsible.
Today's Action

Today I will write down three times I thought I wasn’t “good enough” so that I could avoid responsibility.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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December 5

Second thoughts are always wiser.

~Euripides

We may pride ourselves on being spontaneous; we may like to act on the spur of the moment; we may even enjoy the thrill of taking risks. And there is much to be said for acting in this way, without too much thought or self-criticism.

But such actions may be part of our addiction. Perhaps there are times when out of anger or hurt or frustration, we act on impulse and find ourselves back on the same old slide toward shame and even danger. We say, “To heck with it, things couldn’t be worse,” and off we go to act out.

Let’s resolve to sit back at such moments and think a while. Why not try to find out what we really want at these times of high intensity? Is the pleasure or the relief that we seek worth the hurt it may do to us and to those we love? Do we even find the pleasure that our fantasy bids us to seek?

When we think again, we discover that what we really want is to be at peace with ourselves and the world.

I am learning to reflect before acting to be sure it isn’t my addiction that is making the decisions.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction*

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December 6

If God seems far away, who moved?

~Anonymous

We traveled near and far to find a relationship with God. We spent hours looking for God in nature or the stars. We listened to many enlightened speakers to obtain a glimpse of God’s presence. The harder we tried to find God, the further removed God was from our lives. We lived our lives as if we had lost God. We thought that if we searched hard enough, we could find Him.

The new world we have found in recovery shows us what has always been there. While we were searching, we were never living with what we had. God will never be nearer to us than He is right now. Our responsibility in life is to keep our conscious contact with our Higher Power free and open. When God seems far away, that contact needs to be renewed.

When I meditate, pray, and keep my inventory current, God always is with me because I am with God. I no longer need to search for something that can’t be lost.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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December 7

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.

~Albert Einstein

Anger can be a healthy emotion, provided we don’t wallow in it or attack other people. When we express anger honestly and without reservation, we can prevent walls of resentment from building up and blocking us off from the intimacy that we strive for in our relationships. When we allow anger to fester in our heart, we surrender our peace of mind and lose our sense of purpose and self-worth. When we harbor anger rather than openly and respectfully expressing it, we no longer hear our inner spirit. Thus we are cut off from our innate wisdom to guide us in our actions.

We’re often drawn to people who express their feelings honestly. This style of communicating serves as an invitation to build a relationship with them based on trust. From this trust we learn to open ourselves to God’s love for us as we are.

Today I will feel my anger, express it when necessary, and then let it go so that I can deepen my trust of other people and of God.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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December 8

If people only knew the healing power of laughter and joy, many of our fine doctors would be out of business. Joy is one of nature's greatest medicines. Joy is always healthy. A pleasant state of mind tends to bring abnormal conditions back to normal.

~Catherine Ponder

Feeling joy may not come naturally to us most of the time. We may, in fact, have to act "as if" with great effort. We may not even recognize genuine joy in the beginning. A technique for finding it is living fully in the present and with gratitude for all we can see, touch, and feel.

The open and honest expression of gratitude for the presence of the ones closest to us now creates a rush within our breasts, a rush that will be shared by our friends, too. Joy is contagious. Joy is freeing. Joy brings into focus our distorted perceptions. Greeting life with joy alters every experience for us and for those we share it with.

I will bring joy wherever I go today. l will give the gift of joy to everyone I meet.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

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December 9

Strive for continuous improvement instead of perfection.

~Kim Collins

Doing our best is not perfection. We have goals and tasks before us. We work at them and we give them our best shot. That is all we need to do, and we deserve to feel all the self-respect any good man feels.

Some of our goals are big challenges. We can set aside any hopes of achieving them perfectly, but when we look back at what we have already done, we may remember that we have come further than we ever dreamed possible. If we expected perfection of ourselves, it would not help us. In fact, it would only get in the way of our work.

Today, I give my best to the work that is before me. I will ask nothing more of myself.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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December 10

AA Thought for the Day

The AA program is one of charity because the real meaning of the word charity is to care enough about other people to really want to help them. To get the full benefit of the program, we must try to help other alcoholics. We may try to help somebody and think we have failed, but the seed we have planted may bear fruit sometime. We never know the results even a word of ours might have. But the main thing is to have charity for others, a real desire to help them, whether we succeed or not. Do I have real charity?
Meditation for the Day

All material things—the universe, the world, even our bodies—may be Eternal Thought expressed in time and space. The more the physicists and astronomers reduce matter, the more it becomes a mathematical formula, which is thought. In the final analysis, matter is thought. When Eternal Thought expresses itself within the framework of space and time, it becomes matter. Our thoughts, within the box of space and time, cannot know anything firsthand, except material things. But we can deduce that outside the box of space and time is Eternal Thought, which we can call God.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be a true expression of Eternal Thought. I pray that God’s thoughts may work through my thoughts.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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December 11

It is terribly amusing how many different climates of feeling one can go through in a day.

~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When we travel by canoe down a river we can notice the changes that take place. In one spot the river is wide and the water moves slowly. Around the next bend the river narrows and the current speeds up. Ahead of us we see rapids waiting to test our skill.

Our feelings can also change as quickly as the river. We may have times in our day when we feel good about ourselves. Then, all of a sudden, someone may tease us about something. We begin to feel like the scared canoeist shooting the rapids for the first time. How wonderful it is to know that we are never given a test we can't handle, that everything that happens in our lives is for the sake of our growth, and that we are watched over at all times by God.

How can I use today's obstacles for my own growth?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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December 12

I’ll just take it one day at a time, and when I’m ready, I’ll be ready. It’ll reveal itself, I guess.

~America Ferrera

We are to take with us only the joys and problems of the present day. We don’t carry with us the mistakes of days gone by. We have no room for them. We are to work at loving ourselves and others today. Just today.

It’s crazy for us to think we can handle more than one day at a time. During our illness, we lived everywhere but in the here and now. We looked to the future or punished ourselves with our past. The AA slogan “One day at a time” teaches us to go easy. It teaches us to focus on what really means anything to us: the here and now.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me turn the slogans of my programs into a way of life. Help me to live life moment by moment, one day at a time.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll practice living in the present. When I find myself living in the past or in the future, I’ll bring myself back to today.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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December 13

In the world to come they will not ask me, “Why were you not Moses?” They will ask me, “Why were you not Zusya?”

~Zusya of Hanipoli

We grow in the direction of the choices we make. That growth depends as much on how we make decisions as on which ones we make. Often in the past we tried to model ourselves after someone we admired. Our self-confidence was poor, so we depended on others to let us know if our decisions were correct, or we modeled our decisions on how we thought others would decide. Now we see that we can never become exactly like someone else, and we need not try.

To each of us, God gives a creative task and a problem—to take our special abilities and limitations and become whole men. We use standards for our choices based on our best ideas of right and wrong, of what fits with our inner feelings, and of what our Higher Power is guiding us toward. Unfinished and imperfect as we are, we become more peaceful as we become more fully ourselves.

May I be true to myself in the choices I make today. I am becoming the man that I admire.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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December 14

Testing the fellowship

Early in recovery, we may find ourselves testing the fellowship to see how much others will respond to us. Out of fear, anxiety, loneliness, or frustration, we may act out. As wonderful as our fellowship is, it will take repeated assaults and excessive demands.

When fellowship members have had enough, they may object. We may feel hurt. If we overreact and reject the fellowship, we lose. So does the fellowship. We need to learn what issues we have along with addiction and how to deal with them. The fellowship needs the care and respect we’d give any relationship.

Am I treating the fellowship and myself well?

Higher Power, help me to understand my individual issues and to get help with them.

Today I will show respect for the fellowship by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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December 15

Reflection for the Day

Once we surrendered and came to the program, many of us wondered what we would do with all that time on our hands. All the hours we’d previously spent planning, hiding, creating alibis, getting loaded, coming down, getting “well,” juggling our accounts—and all the rest—threatened to turn into empty chunks of time that somehow had to be filled. We needed new ways to use the energy previously absorbed by our addictions. We soon realized that substituting a new and different activity is far easier than just stopping the old activity and putting nothing in its place. Am I redirecting my mind and energy?
Today I Pray

I pray that, once free of the encumbrance of my addiction, I may turn to my Higher Power to discover for me how to fill my time constructively and creatively. May that same Power that makes human paths cross and links certain people to specific situations lead me along good new roads into good new places.
Today I Will Remember

Happenstance may be more than chance.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*