What makes it so difficult for us to get the help we need and want is we blame others for our troubles and place our focus on them. This causes us to end up hating, judging, and condemning those who try to help us. I remember the first time someone at a meeting said to me "we will love you until you learn how to love yourself " I didn't know what to say to them. How is it they knew I did love myself ? Later I found out they could see my hate, judging, and condemning and they knew that we treat others the way we treat ourselves because they too had once done that. I had thought no one else knew about these things about me. I learned in recovery how to stop the arguing with myself, how to the stop judging of myself and condemning myself, and more importantly how to stop being my worst enemy.