It's not usual after discovering we're alcoholic that we think we can be in control of our drinking now that we know. This is referred to as self knowledge and when it comes to being an alcoholic does us little good if any. In fact in most cases it only makes things worse because now we know, but still are unable to control our drinking, this crushes our ego and pride a little more. I remember being asked when I was new why I did I think I should have to be in control of anything anyways ? That none of us had anything to do with what day we are born into this world or when we'll leave it. What makes us think we have to be in control of anything in between ? Then I was told control is an illusion, it's not real, it is a power trip, and when it comes to being an alcoholic this can be deadly. Recovery doesn't teach us control, instead it teaches to be grateful that we don't have to be in control.