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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse.

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Old 04-19-2018, 02:56 AM   #1
MajestyJo
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Default Those Old Time Feelings

Quote:
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.

Those Old Time Feelings

I still have bad days. But that's okay. I used to have bad years. --Anonymous

Sometimes, the old feelings creep back in. We may feel fearful, ashamed, and hopeless. We may feel not good enough, unlovable, victimized, helpless, and resentful about it all. This is codependency, a condition some describe as soul sickness.

Many of us felt this way when we began recovery. Sometimes, we slip back into these feelings after we've begun recovery. Sometimes there's a reason. An event may trigger these reactions, such as ending a relationship, stress, problems on the job, at home, or in friendships. Times of change can trigger these reactions. So can physical illness.

Sometimes, these feelings return for no reason.

A return to the old feelings doesn't mean were back to square one in our recovery. They do not mean we've failed at recovery. They do not mean were in for a long, painful session of feeling badly. They just are there.

The solution is the same: practicing the basics. Some of the basics are loving and trusting our self, detachment, dealing with feelings, giving and receiving support in the recovery community, using our affirmations, and having fun.

Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love.

If the old feelings come back, know for certain there is a way out that will work.

Today, if I find myself in the dark pit of codependency, I will work a Step to help myself climb out.

I am moving towards my goals today with just the right energy that I need. My progress will be perfect and I have the faith and trust that all the steps I take along the way will become clear when it is necessary. --Ruth Fishel
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Old 04-19-2018, 02:57 AM   #2
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As a long timer once shared, "I don't have bad days any more, I just have bad moments in a day. I don't let those bad moments spoil my day, I don't hang on to them, I let them go.

It has always sounded good to me. As it says here, I go back to basics, do the 1, 2, 3 Waltz, and then apply Steps 4-9 as needed, and use Steps 10-12 to maintain my sobriety. I can have sobriety if I work this program. I do Steps 1-3 every day. I can't forget where I came from. I use Steps 4-9 on anything that is rooted in my past, and use Steps 10-12 to stay clean and sober every day.

My program works if I work for it.

Just because I have a feeling, I don't have to act on it. Acting out is part of my disease.
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