Today's Thought - October

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October 1

In Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Bill W. spoke of Rule 62.

Don't take yourself too seriously.

Just keep laughing. It is the best medicine.

When you laugh, you look better and feel better.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward

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October 2

"It was the night of my weekly recovery group," a woman said to me. "I had to make myself attend the meeting. We had a guest speaker from out of town, and everyone had been buzzing about his speaker for weeks.

"Oh, Corky's coming. Have you heard about Corky? Don't miss the meeting; Corky will be there to talk that night. He's the best.' I was so sick of hearing about Corky. I didn't know who he was, and I didn't care. I just couldn't stomach all this gushing. By the time I got to the meeting, the only chair open was right next to Corky. I was so turned off and disgusted. I just couldn't stand all this naïve raving.

"I sat through the meeting. Barely heard a word this guy said. At the end of the meeting, when it came time to hold hands and say the prayer, I couldn't stand the thought of putting my hand in his. But I did.

"When I got home from attending the group that evening, my husband asked me how it went. So I told him the whole story, about Corky, about everyone being so excited this guy was coming to town, about my decision not to be involved with this idolization of some stupid guy named Corky.

"Don't you know who that is?" my husband said. I told him the only thing I knew was that he went by the nickname Corky. My husband pointed to the stack of books at my bedside - all written by the same author. My favorite author in the entire world.

"It's him,' my husband said. "It's the guy you read every night. Corky is just his nickname.' I felt this wave of horror go through me. I had wanted to meet this guy for years. I loved his mind. I loved his work. And here I had sat right next to him - even held his hand - and I hadn't even heard a word he said or appreciated the opportunity I had to meet him.

"I've seen him around a few times since that night," my friend added. "I haven't had the courage to tell him my story yet. Maybe someday I will. Until then, I'm working hard to remember the lesson of that night; keep an open mind or you might miss something or someone really valuable in your life."

Closing our mind and our heart can cause us to lose a lot more than a chance to meet someone we revere. We can miss the true beauty and wisdom in people who at first glance look ordinary. We can miss opportunities and ideas that could change our lives. We can overlook danger signs. And sometimes, we can embarrass ourselves.

Valve: We can call it dropping our assumptions or judgments, staying aware, or keeping an open mind. Whatever words we use to describe this state, that's the value this week.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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October 3

The human heart in its perversity finds it hard to escape hatred and revenge.
--Moses Luzzatto

This program promises many rewards for those who follow it, but it does not promise to be easy. We search our conscience for resentments and face them. None of us can progress in our recovery while holding onto resentments, old angers, and hatreds. When we hold them, we protect dark corners of our souls from the renewal we need. As we allow ourselves to be made new through this program, we no longer reserve those small corners for the game of power and resentment. They will eventually consume us and justify in our minds a return to the old patterns.

Nothing can be held back. We must be willing to surrender all - even if we do not know how. No one can stop being resentful simply by deciding to stop. When we are willing to be honest, to be humble, to be learners, to be led in a constructive direction, to allow time to be guided rather than seek instant cure, then we will learn trust and will surely make progress.

I do not need to know exactly how to let go of my resentments or what will happen after I do. I simply must be ready to let them go.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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October 4

Don't overlook the wonder of the ordinary.

The extraordinary, the amazing, the phenomenon are daily glorified in the movies, the news, and on television. Our senses become bombarded. We become addicted to drama. The only things that get our attention are the big, catastrophic, knee-jerking events.

Take a closer look at your life, your everyday world, and the people and activities in it. If it were all taken from you in one moment, what would you miss? What sights, what sounds, what smells? Would you miss the view from your kitchen window? If you were never to see that scene again, would you nostalgically reminisce about it, wishing you could see it one more time, remembering how beautiful it was, and how much that familiar sight comforted you in your daily life?

What about those toys strewn about or the baby crying because he's hungry or wet? What about the sounds of the city you live in as it comes to life each morning? Or how about how your child smells after her bath? Or when she comes in cold from playing in the snow?

What about the way your friend smiles, or that little thing he says all the time that's not funny but he thinks it is, so you laugh?

Look closely at the ordinary in your life. While you're being grateful, don't forget to express pure, sheer gratitude for how beautiful the ordinary really is. We can easily overlook the ordinary, take it for granted. The sun rises and sets, the seasons come and go, and we forget how beautiful and sensational the familiar really is.

God thank you for every detail of my ordinary, everyday world.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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October 5

Isn't it great life is open-ended!
--Brigitte Frase

Elizabeth Lawton, known as "Grandma Layton," is an American artist who never drew a picture until she was 68 years old. She spent all the years before that time trying to cope with depression. She had gone through therapy, medications, and shock treatment and continued to be severely depressed. But then she signed up for an art class and the act of drawing cured her depression.

What does she think about the critical acclaim her artwork has received? She says she wants others to know about her art so it may give hope to those who have also "suffered from feelings."

Many of us have suffered from feelings. We must remember that we can each turn to our creativity--at any age--as a source for our well-being. All we need to do is have faith in the potential goodness within ourselves and those we love.

What creative activity can I look to for comfort today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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October 6

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard

One of Mark Twain's most interesting writings states we should live life backwards from the age of eighty to the time we were just a gleam in someone's eye. How much more we'd learn, he felt, if we already knew how to live before we had to.

We may fantasize sometimes about going back with the tools of the program we're using today to our families, our high schools, or our dating years. It may please us to think of how "together" we would be with such tools, knowing what we know now.

But we can't live backwards. Every year we move along in age, experience, maturity, and wisdom. Sometimes we only see such growth on birthdays, when we look back to a year ago at who we were then and who we are now. As our years advance, so do we. Sometimes we need to take a brief look backward in order to see this.

Today I'll remember that to see my growth all I have to do is look at where I was a year ago. I have advanced in age, but I've also advanced in wisdom and maturity.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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October 7

A man without ambition is dead. A man with ambition but no love is dead. A man with ambition and love for his blessings here on earth is ever so alive.
--Pearl Bailey

Is our glass half full or half empty? We may see ourselves as positive people, but when we take the time to examine our thoughts closely, we may be surprised. We may have a lot to complain about, but so what? We can choose misery or happiness. It's all in how we see that glass.

Instead of griping about bills, we become thankful for the money that is coming in. Instead of thinking about what activities we're missing in our lives, we're grateful for the solitude. Instead of being hurt by what friends and family aren't doing, we feel blessed we have them in our lives in the first place.

Today I will humble myself by counting my blessings, knowing that without them I would truly be lost.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

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October 8

"It's better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers."
--James Thurber

"I believe the purpose of my life is to learn, grow, and be the best possible person I can be," said a group member. "In order to do that, I must ask big questions of myself and God. I ask questions like What's love? What's my life's work? What's the best way to deal with this problem? How can I best plan for the future? Who and What is God? What constitutes an ideal friendship or marriage? What is the purpose of life? and What's preventing me from reaching my goal?'

"To me, asking big questions makes life an exciting adventure. I look upon everyone and everything as a partial answer to a larger question. Life is never boring to me. Or lonely. I treasure every experience as a means of expanding my knowledge and understanding."

Today I will have more questions than answers. I will ask big questions of God and myself. I will search for, and be receptive to, the answers to my questions in my daily experiences and endeavors.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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October 9

Let Go of Victimhood

Thought for the week:
Self-esteem comes from letting go of victimhood.

Affirmations for the week:
I am not a victim.
This week, I will make different choices.

Esteemable actions for the week.
One of the quickest ways to shift from victim to empowered person is by making different and healthier choices. You do that by thinking through your process before you make a final decision. You do it by having the courage to ask questions for clarification and by keeping your eyes and ears open. You do it by thinking through the consequences of your actions. What three actions can you take today that will help you feel more empowered?

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward

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October 10

The 12 Step way of life is accepting, not necessarily passive.
--Anonymous

When we accept life on life's terms, we are acknowledging reality. We have all, on occasion, run from the truth. When we were in a situation that frightened us, we would turn tail and run. We would do our imitation of an ostrich and stick our heads in the sand, pretending the situation didn't exist and was not happening.

When we accept something, we are not passively taking it in. We are ready to work through and toward our new awareness. But we can't do anything at all unless we accept it as a reality.

We know what it's like to run from our disease. We tried to prove it was anything and everything but addiction. We tried to prove it was caused by something wrong in our lives, our jobs, our family, our childhood, our relationships, even the weather. After we ran out of excuses, we finally accepted our disease.

My acceptance of my addiction is not passive, but based in reality and truth.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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October 11

All my yesterdays run together.
-- Clara Glenn

Age doesn't demand that our memories become fuzzy, but they commonly are. We often fret over this. We could, instead, make light of it and simply appreciate that we worked our memories overtime for many years. There is no requirement that we have long memories anymore. Our age gives us this freedom.

There are some plusses to having the past run together in our minds. For one, it prevents past tragedies from gaining too much focus. Also, we are able to see how really insignificant many of our trials were. That's a good reminder that our current worries will barely be remembered, even a month from now.

Only today deserves our attention; this gives us an easier set of circumstances to handle. Being caught in the past can hinder our present decisions. The past may offer something to inform our present, but this moment is unique, not like the past at all.

My past is over. My future is irrelevant.
My present is all that matters.
And it is designed especially for me.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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October 12

When a person drowns himself in negative thinking he is committing an unspeakable crime against himself.
-- Maxwell Maltz

Negative thoughts can rule our lives as compulsively as an addiction. The feelings of power we get from holding a dismal and gloomy outlook deprive us of the positive and pleasant parts of life. Some of us have said, "If I expect the worst, I won't be disappointed. If I think the worst about myself, no one else can cut me down." It is like taking a driving trip and looking only for trash and garbage in the ditches, ignoring the beauty beyond. Indeed, what we see may be real, but it is a very limited piece of the picture.

When we have relied on negative thinking, it feels risky to give it up. We cannot do it in one day. We can begin by imagining ourselves with a more open attitude toward ourselves and the world. Then we can try it out as an experiment in little ways, with no commitment. Finally we reach the point where we can take a risk and entrust our Higher Power with the outcome.

Today, I will experiment with hopeful and positive thoughts about what happens.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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October 13

When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
--Tao Te Ching

Working the Twelve Steps is the process of being and becoming. It is finding, knowing, and accepting who we are. It is having the willingness to fall down, stumble around, and make mistakes. It is being in tune with the constant process of death and rebirth that is part of life's rhythm.

Each of us has an internal timetable. The rhythm of our spirit. Discovering what it is and living according to its direction can bring us untold serenity and joy. It also brings us energy, because we're not fighting ourselves and reality. So often, we are our own worst enemy. But to face who we are and to learn from it is to be created anew. In the process, we discover our own truths. Maybe that's part of what a spiritual awakening is -- seeing the truth in a new way.

Living according to the guidance of our spirit and in harmony with our body, mind, and emotions is a solitary journey, but one that brings us close to other people and to life. It takes patience, and it brings true peace.

I am able to trust that in my recovery I am learning new things, as I need to learn them, I am comfortable with the pace of my recovery.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

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October 14

Our hungers lead us to what will satisfy

Hunger serves us well. Physical hunger prompts us to eat the food we need to promote and maintain health. Emotional hunger sends us in search of companionship, intimacy, and love. Our hunger for achievement fuels our contribution to the work of the world. And our spiritual hunger leads us to a Power greater than ourselves. Peace, unity, goodwill all of these and more, we hunger for.

If we find ourselves trying to satisfy our hunger in ways that don't work, it's time to reassess and make changes. That's what we do when we come to the Twelve Step program, admitting that our false satisfactions have gotten out of hand and are threatening destruction.

The satisfaction of our various hungers is within reach. Much of what we crave we will find within ourselves as we develop a relationship with a Higher Power.



I will explore my hunger today, so that it may lead me to what satisfies.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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October 15

Coping With Stress

Inevitably, there are times of stress in our lives, no matter how long we've been in recovery.

Sometimes, the stress is outside or around us. We're feeling balanced, but our circumstances are stressful. Sometimes, the stress is within; we feel out of balance. When the stress is external and internal, we experience our most difficult times.

During stressful times, we can rely more heavily on our support systems. Our friends and groups can help us feel more balanced and peaceful in spite of our stressful conditions.

Our most important focus during times of stress is taking care of ourselves. We are better able to cope with the most irregular circumstances; we are better able to be there for others if we're caring for ourselves. We can ask ourselves regularly: What do we need to do to take care of ourselves? What might help us feel better or more comfortable?

Self-care may not come as easily during times of stress. Self-neglect may feel more comfortable. But taking care of us always works.

Today, I will remember that there is no situation that can't be benefited by taking care of myself.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie