Today's Thought - June

[bluidkiti]

June 16

One of the attributes of love . . .
is to bring harmony and order out of chaos.
--Molly Haskell

Have we forgotten how to love in our hurried passage through life? Perhaps we need reminding that love focuses our attention and guides our direction. Our actions aren't hurried and our feelings aren't confused and unraveled when we're loving others and ourselves. Love offers form and enhancement to each moment.

When we experience the love of another, we remember our importance, and theirs, to the circle of life, and we feel encouraged, at times even impelled, to share the enchantment of love with someone new.

When the day's frantic activities crowd the heart's silent places, we must slow our pace and take notice of the loved ones in our presence, there by intent, remembering with them the design that has captured us and given meaning to our lives.

Love creates music from the disharmony of our haphazard life choices. Giving it away is like a song of happiness emerging from our hearts.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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June 17

The greatest gift we can give another person is the gift of ourselves.

When we can share our deepest convictions and failures, our ideals and disillusionments, our hopes and frustrations, our dreams and despairs, our answers and our questions – then we are loving our neighbors as ourselves as well as "loving our enemies."

A friend put it this way, "If I share the whole of me with you, I share the good as well as the bad. I don't hide anything of myself from you, not in a deep friendship, or a deep marriage for that matter. By sharing some things I hate about myself, I'm loving my inside enemy. I'm telling you I'm still human and have a lot of growing to do. I'd love to tell you about all my good points, it would make me feel a lot better, but it wouldn't be sharing all of me with you."

TODAY I will concentrate on sharing my insides and outsides with another; I will listen to myself as I talk. I will not be satisfied if I sit on my laurels or wallow in my woes. I will improve myself by becoming aware of how I communicate to others.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

[bluidkiti]

June 18

"Thinking," said the little boy, "is when your mouth stays shut and your head keeps talking to itself."
--Arkansas Baptist

We need quiet times in order to develop peace and serenity in our lives. We spend most of our days speaking or being spoken to. It's important to set aside time to speak to ourselves. We need to speak to ourselves gently and honestly each day. We need to spend quality time with ourselves to keep in touch with who we are and where we're headed. A diver takes the time for a deep breath and a quiet moment before he jumps, and so it is for us before we jump from one activity to the next. In this way we can honor ourselves and our actions by offering respect for what we've just done, and for what we're about to do.

Today I will have at least one quiet time for myself because I deserve it.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

[bluidkiti]

June 19

Change is sometimes necessary

Despite the fact that many of us live turbulent, chaotic lives; we may we don't like change. This causes us to seek our security in familiar places, rather than reach out for the unknown that lies ahead.

This may not be real security, however, because familiar places and situations also change. Our resistance to change may simply be the fear of trying something new.

If we find that fear of change is causing us to put up with a situation that's become unsatisfactory, we need to adjust our attitude toward it. While we view change as risky, it may be the necessary route for improvement. Let's start by simply accepting the idea that change is sometimes necessary. After that, we can expect our Higher Power to guide us to the new situations that are right for us.

Today I may find myself fearing change. I'll remind myself that nothing ever stays the same, and that only change can bring the true good I'm always seeking.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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June 20

The one lesson my dad taught me:
If you're going to do anything in life, do it right.
--Monty Cralley

Our parents may have had a way of instructing that often bordered on shaming us. No matter what we might remember about it, or them, they meant well. Their own experiences colored how they parented us. This pattern was probably played out in our own parenting, too. We all did the best we could. None of us did a perfect job. But now that we have the time to contemplate the past, we might want to consider forgiving our parents if we still harbor any grudges. Or we might want to make amends to our children or other family members if we are able to see our own failings now.

We made tons of mistakes getting to an older age. Some were intentional; most were not. Do we have to redress all of them? Actually, we don't even have to acknowledge any of them. But if we do, we'll feel far better about ourselves and we'll have helped to break the cycle of the poor parenting we might have experienced.

We all have a chance to do something significant in life. This doesn't have to mean inventing a tool or a drug that will help millions of people. It's really quite easy. Smile at a stranger today, for starters. Consider putting aside an old grudge. Apologize for an unkind action.

I can do something really important today. Am I willing to examine how I treat other people?

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

June 21

I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post.
--Reggie Jackson

We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families in our minds. We may have stories our father told about his moment of glory and how he met his challenges. Any of these images selects part of the truth and highlights it, creating a myth that might be worthwhile if we don't take it too literally.

Living a real life never feels as serene as our fantasies. A myth lifts us up, carries us away to other possibilities, but we should always take it with a grain of salt. Recollections or a Norman Rockwell painting romanticizes a piece of reality by omitting the drudgery and confusion of life. Myths are meant as inspirations, not as measurements of our lives.

The difficulties and confusion I feel may just be part of real life. Serenity comes when I accept the mixture that real life is.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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June 22

If a man can carve something out of wood, he is just as much a creator as a man who works with words.
--Clara Glenn

It's really not what we do in life that matters, but how we do it. To more clearly understand this, let's take an example. We can all remember dreading a project that needed doing - maybe mending some pants or replacing a screen in the back door. First, we couldn't find our glasses to thread the needle, and then we stuck ourselves with the needle, drawing blood that promptly got on the pants. Or we hit our index finger with the hammer as we attempted to install the new screen. Our recollections are endless. Interestingly enough, our personal attitudes always directly controlled the success we had with the project.

What does this mean to us now? It suggests that if we are fully attentive to whatever we pursue, our experience of it will be significantly different. We are competent to handle anything that needs our attention. In most cases, we'll be more than competent. And if we have a real desire to do the job, we'll excel at it, providing we give it our undivided attention.

I am a creator of something today. Maybe it's a friendship or a poem. They are equal in the eyes of God.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

June 23

What happens to us is not as important as how we respond.

The external events of our lives are largely beyond our control. We do not choose our parents, our emotional environment, the historical period in which we live, our body type, or the flow of circumstances that shape our experience. These are givens. We do not select them, but we can choose how we will react to them, and in that choice lies our freedom and our responsibility.

Instead of complaining about the hand we've been dealt, we can concentrate on playing it well. This is the way we exercise our freedom. What might appear to be random chance can take on meaning and purpose as we delve for insight and use our deficiencies as opportunities for growth.

Our responsibility is to do the best we can with what we have where we are. And we don't do it alone. We have help in learning how best to respond. We have a support group, we have a Higher Power, and we have an inner guide if we will listen for direction.

Today, I will remember that the what of my life is not as important as the how.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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June 24

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.
--Soren Kierkegaard

Once, in a small village, there was a huge fire. The blaze spread and several homes and businesses were burned to the ground. After a long while, the fire was brought under control and put out. Villagers banded together to rebuild their town, but one quite persistent young man insisted on searching the rubble for the cause of the fire.

Impatient townspeople scolded him, saying, "Why waste time searching for causes? Knowing them won't put out the blaze or repair the damage."

"I know," replied the young man, "but knowing why might prevent other fires."

Sometimes we have to look at painful past experiences in order to prevent their recurrence. When we understand ourselves better, we can move beyond the past and walk toward the future with surer, safer steps.

How well can I use my past today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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June 25

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of good luck.
--H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Managing desires is one of the most crucial elements of being an adult. Children want many things that aren't good for them, and their impulses can often get them into trouble. They need loving, caring adults to protect them from the harm that can come from getting what they want. As adults, our spiritual development includes learning how to regard our desires and how to manage them. On the one hand, it isn't healthy to become so controlled and repressed that we never let ourselves have fun, and on the other hand, we know that indulging every desire will kill us.

Sometimes we want something very badly and when we don't get it, we feel desperate or very disappointed. However, life continuously points us in directions we hadn't expected. Disappointment can serve to reset our lives. Not getting our desires, if we keep our eyes open, points us in directions that can be better than what we had imagined for ourselves.

Today I will be open to the new directions that life points me toward.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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June 26

Honesty is the best policy.
--David Tuvill

Newcomer

I've heard people talk about "firing" their sponsors, about sponsors "firing" their sponsees. I find that term disillusioning I thought we were here to help one another.

Sponsor

Human relationships change, for all sorts of reason, and there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that reality. Sponsors, like sponsees, are just people in recovery, growing and working the Steps; we don't always handle things perfectly. One sponsor may take on more than he or she is really prepared to handle; with phone calls coming day and night from an overload of sponsees, frequency or quality of communication may be inadequate. Another sponsor may enjoy being bossy and have trouble recognizing the difference between passing on program experience and trying to impose his or her will in areas where personal choice is appropriate. A sponsor may discover that a sponsee lacks the desire for recovery or has significant problems in an area in which the sponsor has no experience.

When differences are resolved by talking and listening, relationships grow and deepen. Are we avoiding necessary confrontation with ourselves or others? Or does growth, this time, mean that it's appropriate to separate? Honesty, courage, and love are qualities that help us make transitions in our relationships.

Today, my willingness to grow enhances my relationships with others.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

[bluidkiti]

June 27

Separateness

... put our efforts where we can succeed.

The appeal of a "fix" tempts us. One day we dream, "If only I had a different job my life would be happy, or if only I had a different house." Perhaps we even dream of having a different partner. When we waste so much precious energy on trying to change something or someone outside ourselves, we usually end up alone, unhappy, or exhausted. It takes great effort and a long time to develop what we truly seek: love, self-acceptance, honesty, and peace of mind.

Fixing or changing our partner might appeal on the surface, but why not put our efforts where we can succeed? What can we change? Ourselves - by becoming less critical we build our honesty and self-worth.

Do I block my own growth when I focus on someone else's action?

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

[bluidkiti]

June 28

One has to grow up with good talk in order to form the habit of it.
--Helen Hayes

Our habits, whatever they may be, were greatly influenced, if not wholly formed, during childhood. We learned our behavior through imitation - imitation of our parents, our siblings, and our peer group. But we need not be stuck in habits that are unhealthy. The choice to create new patterns of behavior is ours to make - every moment, every hour, every day. However, parting with the old pattern in order to make way for the new takes prayer, commitment, and determination.

All of us who share these Steps have broken away from old patterns. We have chosen to leave liquor and pills alone. We may have chosen to leave unhealthy relationships. And we are daily choosing to move beyond our shortcomings. But not every day is a successful one. Our shortcomings have become ingrained. Years of pouting, or lying, or feeling fearful, or overeating, or procrastinating beckon to us; the habit invites itself.

We can find strength from the program and one another to let go of the behavior that stands in the way of today's happiness. And we can find in one another a better, healthier behavior to imitate.

The program is helping me to know there is a better way, every day, to move ahead. I am growing up again amidst the good habits of others and myself.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

June 29

Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy the type of misery you can live with.
-- Ziggy

We think to ourselves, "Wouldn't it be nice not to have to worry about the washer breaking down?" "Wouldn't it be nice to drive a reliable car?" "Wouldn't it be nice to take a Caribbean vacation every year?" "Wouldn't it be nice not to have to work?" If we had money, we think, at least we wouldn't have to worry so much and could live comfortably.

True. Money buys external comfort - plush couches and chairs, luxury cars, beautiful environments. Money buys what comforts and soothes us on the outside. And, if we're going to be miserable anyway, why not do it in comfort?

We remember that regardless of our surroundings, misery is misery. Unless we have the right attitude, we'll find something wrong with whatever we have or don't have. When we work on improving our inner world - on alleviating the real cause of our misery - we know true comfort. We know serenity.

Today I know that the better I get, the richer I become.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

[bluidkiti]

June 30

Doing nothing, that hurts you.
--John Arnold

Doing nothing as a steady diet would wear thin after a while, but doing nothing once in a while is good therapy. We need to let our minds and bodies rest. Being always booked for an activity gives us too little time for reflection about our lives. We have come a long way. Taking the time to appreciate that during our quiet spaces will enhance our self-perception.

Not a one of us has had an unsuccessful life. We may not have accomplished every goal we've set for ourselves but we can believe that we did what really needed to be done by us. There has been a divine plan at work even though we were unaware of it. The same continues to be true. We will be nudged to pursue hobbies or volunteer activities or jobs if that's the plan for us. This certainly takes the guesswork out of our lives. It makes us know we are pretty special, too.

I'll do whatever calls to me today. As long as it's not something that will hurt another person, it will be right.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey