Steps By The Big Book

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SESSION 3

STEP 1 Bill’s Story

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
Upon a foundation of complete willingness…. (12: 4)

Step 1 written inventory

I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the the Big Book authors say?

• READ Chapter 1 Bill’s Story, pp.1 – 16. Read in the Big Book how in 1934 one of AA's founders, Bill W., learned of the problem, the solution, and the program of action to recover from alcoholism.

1.) The Problem: From Dr. Silkworth, Bill learned of the medical problem of alcoholism as both a mental and a physical illness. (7:1; xxv-xxxii)
2.) The Solution: From Dr. Carl Jung, (through Roland H. and Ebby T.) Bill learned of the spiritual solution to the problem as a necessary vital spiritual experience. (27: 5; see also 9: 6; 567-8)
3.) The Program of Action: From the Oxford Group (through Ebby T.), Bill learned of the discipline of practicing a step by step program of action that opens one to the necessary vital spiritual experiences. (27: 4) [See also He Sold Himself Short, 263: 0]

• WRITE Write down how the matters set forth in Bill’s Story reflect your own life.

• • • Cross off the bulleted focus and reflection comments as you consider them.
    • Continue writing your Step1 inventory about your powerlessness over alcohol and how your life is unmanageable.

• TALK Speak with your sponsor and other group members about the study group and the Step 1 readings.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 1?

• Review selections from Bill's Story together.
• Consider sharing your own writings and personal Step 1 stories with the group.
• Rather than 'yes' and 'no' responses, consider answering in detail and with examples.

p. 18
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

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Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider 2: 2; 3: 2; 5: 4-6: 1; 8: 1-9: 6; 12: 2-14: 6)
1.) The Problem (17: 1)

• What did Bill mean by, I commenced to forge the weapon…that one day would turn…like a boomerang and…cut me to ribbons? (2: 2)
• Was there a time for me when liquor ceased to be a luxury; it became a necessity? (5: 1)
• Did I think I could control the situation? (5: 1)
• Did I ever wonder, Was I crazy? (5: 5)
• How does an appalling lack of perspective relate to sanity, honesty, or humility? (5: 5) What do sanity, honesty, and humility mean to me?
• In what specific ways did I feel the remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning? (6: 1)
• Did I ask, Should I kill myself? (6: 1)
• In what ways did I seek oblivion? (6: 1)
• In what ways have I felt fear? (6: 2, 7: 0)
• What are my reflections on Dr. Silkworth's proposition that we have been seriously ill, bodily and mentally? (7: 1)
• Did I see that I could not take so much as one drink? (5: 4)
• Did such self-knowledge (7: 2) of the problem of the insanity of that first drink (8: 2) alone keep me sober?
• Bill describes taking Step 1 by admitting, Alcohol was my master. (8: 1)
• In what ways has alcohol been my master? (8: 1)

2.) The Solution (17: 3)

• What is my understanding of the simple religious idea? (9: 6)
• What was my reaction to religion, the church, and God? (10: 1)
• How do I react to the suggestion, Why don’t you choose your own conception of God? (12: 2; 46: 2)
• Bill takes Step 2 when he understands that, nothing more was required...to make my beginning than being willingto believe. (12: 4)
• Note that Bill was instructed to sit quietly and totest [his] thinking by the new God-consciousness within. (13: 4)

3.) The Program of Action (9: 6)

• What is my understanding of the practical program of action? (9: 6)
• How did this derive from the non-alcoholic Oxford Groups of that day? ( xvi: 0; and see 263: 0)
• What are the essential requirements, as I understand them? (13: 5 - 14: 0)
• How do I understand, It meant destruction of self-centeredness? (14: 1)
• What were the revolutionary and drastic proposals? (14: 2)
• Note that Bill essentially takes Step 3 through Step 12 at this time while still in the hospital. [Step 1 (8: 1); Step 2 (12: 4); Steps 3-11 (13: 2-4); Step 12 (1st part 13: 5; 2nd part 14: 5, 6)]

p. 19

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STEP 1 WRITTEN INVENTORY

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.


Consider these questions, which are borrowed from meetings and recovery literature. Add your own as you see fit. Copy and expand this template in your own notebook.
Consider responding in detail with specific examples, rather than rote yes's or no's.


I POWERLESSNESS Physical compulsion :
What were all of the types and amounts of alcohol and drugs I used, from my first time to the present? What did it cost me or others (purchases, income, fines)? Emotional cost?
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When have I experienced the abnormal physical reaction to alcohol? [‘One drink leads to another.’ Suggestion: Describe the last drink or a similar episode in detail.]
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When did I recognize that I lost control of my drinking? [I drink to excess. I cannot stop when I want to. Heard in a meeting: “When I drink I break out in a binge.”]
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In what ways have I attempted, and have failed, to control my drinking? Did I use alcohol, or did alcohol use me?
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What were the things I did while acting out on my disease that I would never do when focusing on recovery? (ie: destructive behavior, loss of memory and blackouts, being abusive physically or verbally, insane and suicidal behaviors, etc.)
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What would my life be like if I admitted being powerless over alcohol and other dysfunctional behaviors?
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What other aspects of my life am I powerless over?
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In what ways has my disease been active recently? How do I behave compulsively?


p. 20
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

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STEP 1 WRITTEN INVENTORY


II UNMANAGEABILITY Mental obsession (self-centeredness):
When and how has my mind told me that one drink will not hurt?
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How did jails or institutions take over the management of my life at different times?
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How am I addicted to changing my mood? What was I trying to change? In what ways am I addicted to looking outside of myself for exterior things to change the way I feel?
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Are there situations that I fear will be so painful that I will drink again?
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-How has my addictive thinking and behavior manifested in my life today? Be specific.
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What is it like when I am obsessed with someone or something?
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Do I maintain a crisis mentality, reacting to every challenge as a personal insult? How has this affected my life?
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Do I insist on having my own way? Do I consider the needs of others? How has this behavior/attitude affected my relationships?
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What in my life can I truly manage?
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What managed my life when using, and what manages my life in recovery?


p. 21

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SESSION 4

STEP 1 & 2 There is a Solution

Step 1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Fellowship… …the powerful cement which binds us. (17: 2)




ION YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read Chapter 2, There is a Solution and Appendix II, Spiritual Experience in the Big Book.

• WRITE Continue to write about how you are powerless over alcohol, and why your life is unmanageable (then and now). Respond to at least three or four of the optional focus questions, and to ones of your own.

• TALK Talk with your sponsor and other group members about powerlessness.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 1 and Step 2?

• Letting go of the illusion that we can control our addictive behavior on our own is the first step on the way to recovery.
• Only when we realize we cannot control our using do we find a way to change, a way out.
• Consider sharing your written reflections on Steps 1 & 2 with the other members of the group. Pick a topic that interests all or several members of the group and engage in a round robin discussion.

Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider 17: 2-18: 4; 20: 1-23: 1; 25: 1-3; 27: 2-28: 3)
1.) The Power of the Fellowship

• How do I understand the fellowship as the powerful cement which binds us? (17: 2)
• How have I experienced the common solution, the way out? (17: 3)
• Did my alcoholic illness engulf all whose lives touch the sufferer's? (18: 1)
• How is it that I can win the entire confidence of another alcoholic? (18: 4)

2.) The Real Alcoholic

• In what ways do I have a hopeless condition of mind and body? (20: 1)
• What is my reaction to the idea that a real alcoholic is one who loses all control of his liquor consumption once he begins to drink? (21: 1)
• Am I a real alcoholic? (21: 1) If not, why not?
• Did I have control over alcohol?
• What absurd, incredible and tragic things did I do while drinking? (21: 2)
• In what respects have I been dishonest and selfish? (21: 2)
• Have I been a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? (21: 2) Describe.
• When have I searched madly for the bottle? (22: 0)
• Have I used a combination of …sedative and liquor…? (22: 0)
• Can I answer the riddle of why I took that one drink, that first drink, over and over? (22: 3; 22: 2; 23: 1)
• How do I respond to the premise that the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than his body? (23: 1)
• In what ways do I share the malady of the lie, the mental obsession that somehow, someday [I can] beat the game and take one drink? (23: 2; 22: 2) [See also 326: 2)
• In what specific ways have I lost the power of choice in drink? (24: 1)

3.) The Spiritual Experience

• In what ways is my being sober today evidence of having tapped an unsuspected inner resource which I may identify with [my own] conception of a Power greaterthan [myself]? (567: 4-568: 0)
• In what ways had I come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as I had been living it? (25: 1) Describe in detail.
• Have I felt I had but two alternatives:?

• 1. • One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation…
     • …and the other, to accept spiritual help? (25: 3 )
• How does one go about accepting spiritual help? Might one’s spiritual life then include our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs? (20: 0) Can I accept that the concept of “others” includes me?
• Am I ready for the self-searching, the leveling of [my] pride and the confession of shortcomings that the process requires? (25: 1) (See also 42:1, 2; 64: 1; 122: 1)
• What was the certain simple attitude (27:0) that allowed the utterly hopeless…drunk (26: 1, 3) to become a free man? ((26: 4; 28: 1) [See 28: 3 willing and honest enough to try.]
• How do Dr. Carl Jung's reflections on vital spiritual experiences as the solution to our problem apply to my recovery? (27: 4, 5)
• How might William James’ Varieties of Religious Experience be of use to me? (28: 3)
• Have I experienced the presence of a higher power? Be specific.

pp. 22-23
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

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SESSION 5

STEP 1 & 2 More About Alcoholism

Step 1. We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
We were alcoholics (30: 2; see also 60: 2)

Take Step 1

I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read of relapse in Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism.

• WRITE Write the story of your last drink in detail or tell aspects of your story through several drinking episodes. .

• 1. • You may focus on these or other points in your written reflections:

-The Starting Problem: Our mental obsession. (‘The Lie’) There came the time that we were stone cold sober and we picked up even though we had years of experience about where it would lead us. The subtle insanity which precedes the first drink. (40: 2)
-The Stopping Problem: Our physical compulsion (craving, “allergy”). That once we put the drink into our system there was never enough, we could not stop.
-How we drank to excess: Why? Because we are alcoholic. (30: 2) [See also 342: 1]

• TALK Talk with your sponsor or with other members of your group.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 1 and Step 2?
Talk with other group members about relapse. Did any of the stories in this chapter move you more than others did? Have you ever faced a situation where only your higher power stood between you and a drink? (43: 3) Have you ever relapsed? Describe in depth.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider 32: 2-34: 2; 35: 1-38: 2; 39: 2-43: 3)
1.) The Man of Thirty

• Do I have a reservation of any kind, [or] any lurking notions that someday [I] will be immune to alcohol? (33: 1)
• Was I astonished at [my] inability to stop? (33: 3)
• Had I lost the power to choose?(34: 2)
• Like the man of thirty, did I have an utter inability to leave it alone? (34: 2)

2.) Jim

• What mental states are the crux of the [drinking] problem? (35: 0)
• Can I identify with Jim who found himself drunk even after accepting what others knew of alcoholism [Step 1], and the answer [they] had found [Step 2]?
• Have I been crazy and insane?(see 5: 5; 37: 1; 38: 1, 2)
• Was I able to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge? (39: 1)

3.) The Jaywalker

• Are my thought-habits and behaviors absurd and incomprehensible? (37: 4)
• How have I been strangely insane? (38: 2)

4.) Fred

• Can I identify with Fred, who would not believe himself an alcoholic [Step 1], much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem [Step 2]? (39: 2)
• Was I told that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come – I would drink again? (41: 2-42: 0)
• What are the spiritual answer and the program of action? (42: 2)

• What are my thoughts about the idea that the alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink? (43: 3)

III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 1 PRINCIPLES:

• Do I know that admitting powerlessness does not mean admitting worthlessness?
• How may I accept my new freedom in no longer having to lie about my drinking?
• How may I stay in touch with the reality of my disease, no matter how long I have been free from drinking?
• In what ways today have I begun to be honest in recovery?
• Can I tell my sponsor or someone else when I have been thinking about drinking or acting out on my disease in some other way?
• How am I practicing open-mindedness, humility, and willingness today?

……………………………………………………………………………


IV TAKE STEP 1 Take Step 1 in the second paragraph of page 30.
…We had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. (30: 2)


This is how the Big Book authors described taking Step 1. If we concede, then according to the Big Book and under the conditions of this day, we take Step 1. As with all of the Steps, we each take Step 1 when we each say so.


Some write a statement such as this:
“I admit I am powerless over ___________________. My life is unmanageable.”
__________________(signature) ______________(date)


The group may or may not choose to observe the completion of this Step by holding hands and reciting the Step.


pp. 24-25

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SESSION 6

STEP 2 We Agnostics

Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Willing to believe…cornerstone [of a] spiritual structure. (47: 2)

Step 2 written inventory

Take Step 2

I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ ReadChapter 4, We Agnostics and Appendix II. Many will read Step 2 in the 12&12.

• WRITE Write about your reflections on the chapter. Spirituality is taking the focus off of us, being more considerate of others, and awakening to a life already connected to a higher power. You may want to consider these questions:

• • • What is my understanding of being restored?
    • How can I see a higher power working in my life?
    • What characteristics does my higher power NOT have?
    • What characteristics DOES my higher power have? This is sufficient to begin.

• TALK Call your sponsor and other group members to discuss your thoughts on the chapter.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 2?
Step 2 reminds us that it is crazy to think we needed to be in control. Consider reading portions of the chapter in the group and sharing your writings with the group. Perhaps some may share their experiences/understandings of higher power.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider pp. 44: 1,3; 45: 1,2,3; 47: 1; 52: 1,2,3; 567-8)
1.) Am I willing?

• Can I believe that other alcoholics have found peace of mind through this process?
• What, precisely and in detail, have I worshipped? (54: 1)
• What, exactly, have I experienced? (55: 2-3)
• Am I willing to consider that I am not at the core of everything (good or bad), and hence there may be a power greater than any one of us?
• Was I insane or crazy to believe the lies the alcohol told me?

2.) My Problem

• What do these definitions of alcoholism mean to me?:

• • when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quitentirely
  • when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take. (44: 1)

• If insanity is a loss of perspective and proportion (5: 5; 37: 1), how is this like denial, dishonesty, or lack of humility?
• In what areas of my life do I need sanity now?
• In what ways am I addicted to my painful and insane ways of thinking and reacting?

3.) My Solution

• How do I react when the authors tell me that we must find a spiritual basis in life – or else? (44: 3) In what ways am I spiritual?
• What does it mean: the Big Book’s main objectis to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem? (45: 2)

4.) My Own Conception of a Higher Power

• What do the terms ‘agnostic,’ ‘we came to believe’ and ‘restore us to sanity’ mean to me? (See 55: 1-4, 57: 0)

• How does my childhood training about God affect my life and recovery today? (45: 3)
• What does it mean when the authors of the Big Book say, When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God? This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions…. What [do] they mean to you? (47: 1)
• What does work mean, as in, Is not our age characterized by the ease with which we discard old ideas for new,…throw away the theory or gadget which does not work for something new which does? (52: 1)
• What works and does not work in my life to give me serenity and peace of mind?
• For me, how is it that, Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did? (52: 3)

III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 2 PRINCIPLES

• How may I know that help is available, that I am not entirely alone?
• How may I stop relying on my own thinking and begin to ask for help today?
• Have I sought help from my sponsor, gone to meetings, and reached out to other recovering alcoholics? What were the results?
• May I find a sign of a higher power in the support I receive from the fellowship?

……………………………………………………………………………
IV TAKE STEP 2 We take Step 2 in the second paragraph of page 47.
Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself? (47: 2)
When we assent, then according to the Big Book and under the conditions of this day, we take Step 2. Remember that in working Step 2 for today, and all the Steps, your reasonable best is always more than good enough. Some groups mark taking Step 2 by holding hands and reciting the Step.

pp. 26-27
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

[bluidkiti]

STEP 2 Written Inventory

Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.


Consider these questions, which are borrowed from meetings and recovery literature. Add your own as appropriate. Consider responding in detail with specific examples, rather than rote yes's or no's.


Insanity
What is my understanding of my own sanity and insanity? [The Big Book authors define sanity as sane and sound. (69: 2) Insanity is a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight (37: 1), and an appalling lack of perspective. (5: 5)]
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What things have I repeatedly done that move me toward my own destruction?
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How has my life been out of balance? Have I lacked perspective? How and when?
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In what ways does my insanity say that things outside myself can make me whole or fix all my problems?
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Came to believe
What does the phrase came to believe, mean to me? (59: 2) What do I believe in?
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Do I have blocks that make it hard for me to believe in a higher power? What are they?
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What are my negative thoughts, feelings, attitudes or beliefs that block my spirituality?
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Higher Power
What is a power greater than myself?

What are my grievances against a higher power?
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What is the evidence that a higher power is working in my life?
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What are the characteristics my higher power does NOT have?
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What characteristics DOES my higher power have? [If you choose, you can use this understanding of higher power as a beginning for now.]
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Restored to sanity
What type of sanity is Step 2 referring to?
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Where in my life do I need sanity now?
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How have I sought help from a higher power today?
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Who do I know who is recovering well? What are they doing that is working?
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Have I sought help from my sponsor, gone to meetings, and reached out to other recovering alcoholics? What were the results?
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Have I used a meeting or the fellowship as a higher power? What happened?


pp. 28-29

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SESSION 7

STEP 3 How it Works pp. 58 - 64

Step 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

The keystoneof the new and triumphant arch. (62: 3) A beginning. (63: 3)

Step 3 written inventory

Take Step 3

I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read Chapter 5, How it Works, pp. 58- 64: 0.Many will also read Step 3 in the 12&12.

• WRITE Write about your thoughts and reflections on this chapter and the focus questions.

• TALK Call your sponsor and other members of the group to discuss the reading and your reflections.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 3?
The first part of Chapter 5 is often read at meetings. Have you ever thought about what How it Worksmeans to you? Have one or more members of the group share their experiences with working Step 3 by the Big Book. Consider sharing your written reflections on the Step with the group.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider pp. 60: 3-63: 3)
1.) The Problem of Self
a.) Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show. (60: 4)

• Our actor is self-centered … Are not most of us concerned with our resentments, our self-pity, or ourselves? (61: 2)
• How am I like an actor? (60: 4) What roles, what masks, what characters do I play? Are these old worn out defenses? [See 73: 1; Optional 12&12, 57: 1]
• Am I almost always in collision with something or some body? (60: 4)

b.) The show doesn’t come off. (61: 1)

• Where do I think that life does not treat me right? (61: 1)
• Where do my actions make the other players wish to retaliate and snatch all they can get out of the show? (61: 1)
• In my own life, am I familiar with the progression: anger => indignation => self-pity? (61: 1) Describe in detail.

• In what ways does the following describe me? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? (61: 1) [Is this the essence of Step 1?] -What do delusion (30: 2; 61: 1), denial (10: 1), and manages mean to me?

c.) So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. (62: 2)

• Do I think my troubles are of my own making? What does this mean?
• How do my reactions to life events make me suffer? Be specific.
• Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. (62: 1)
• Where in the past have I made decisions based on self that later placed me in a position to be hurt? (62: 1) Be specific and give details. [See what self-instincts can be threatened, and that we react to, in the Third Column in Step 4, p. 65: 2]

2.) The Solution: The God Idea (45: 3; 52: 3)

• We alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. (62: 2)
• How has my playing God worked, or not worked, to give me serenity?
• We had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. (62: 3)
• When did I stop playing God?

3.) The Program of Action

• Can I make a decision to turn my life and will over to a higher power, just for today?
• In what ways am I taking action on Step 3 when I abstain from alcohol and work the remaining Steps?
• Step 3 Promises: Is it possible that I could enjoy peace of mind, face life successfully, and lose [my] fear? (63: 1) How?

III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 3 PRINCIPLES

• How does Step 3 allow me to build on the surrender I have developed in Step 1 and Step 2?
• Am I fighting anything in recovery? What do I think would happen if I became willing to let recovery prevail in that area of my life?
• How may I reaffirm my decision on a daily basis and continue to take the action of working the rest of the Steps?
• How may I decide to let go today, and surrender to being in unison with life?

……………………………………………………………………………
IV TAKE STEP 3 We take Step 3 in the second paragraph on page 63.
Have we decided that we are the agents of the higher power of our understanding? (62: 3) [See also 49: 1; 68: 3] Are we willing to decide to let go of our need to control, just for today?
According to the Big Book, and under the conditions of this day, we take Step 3.
Some groups acknowledge taking this Step by reciting the great Third Step Prayer. Others will join hands and recite the Step. Feel free to do what is appropriate for you and the group.

pp. 30-31
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

[bluidkiti]

STEP 3 Written Inventory

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.


Consider these questions, which are borrowed from meetings and recovery literature, and ones of your own. Consider responding in detail with specific examples.


Decision
Who or what made my decisions for me while drinking?
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Can I make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of a higher power of my understanding – just for today? What fears or reservations do I have about turning my life over?
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What actions will I take to follow through on my decision to turn my life over to a higher power?
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Self-will To work Step 3 we need to identify the ways we have acted on self-will.
[Willful: (from ON wella- well of boiling heat) Headstrong, obstinate, rigid. Gaining power over people and situations.] [Willing: Being receptive to new possibilities. Using our will in harmony with life, not against it.]
How have I been self-centered? How have I been defiant?
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Which problems have I tried to resolve through willpower? What were the results?
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In what ways are my troubles of my own making? (62: 2)
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How do my reactions to life events make me suffer? Be specific.
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In what ways am I an extreme example of self-will run riot? (62: 2) How have I acted on self-will?
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How has my self-will affected others?


Have there been times in my recovery when I have found myself subtly taking back my will and my life? What alerted me? What have I done to recommit myself to the Third Step?
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The God of My Understanding
Who or what makes my decisions for me in recovery?
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Why is it OK to have a different higher power from everyone else?
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How is my higher power working in my life today? How do my higher power and I communicate? What do I do in order to be open to my higher power?
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Is my current concept of a higher power still working? How might I need to change my concept of a higher power?
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Turning It Over
What are my personal examples of my turning my life and will over to my addictions?
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How would my day look if I were to turn my will and my life over to the care of a higher power of my understanding?
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What are my fears about making this decision?
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Which thoughts and behaviors and I willing to turn over right now? Which am I holding on to?
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How do I take action to turn my will and my life over to my higher power on a daily basis? Are there any practices I do regularly? What are they?
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What have I done recently that demonstrates my surrender to recovery and to working a program?



pp. 32-33

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PART II

SESSIONS 8 - 12

STEP 4

FOCUS MEDITATIONS / PRAYERS

RESENTMENT:
We asked God [of our understanding]to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.
When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.” (67: 0)


[Optional: If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.(Freedom From Bondage, 552: 1)]


FEAR:
We let Him [higher power of our understanding] demonstrate, through us, what He can do.
We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be.
At once, we commence to outgrow fear. (68: 3)


RELATIONSHIPS INCLUDING SEX:
We asked God [of our understanding] to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. (69: 2)
In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. (69: 3)
We let God be the final judge. (70: 0)


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STEP 4 ASSETS AND LIABILITIES CHECKLIST

Also STEP 10 DAILY WRITTEN INVENTORY

We look at, "What qualities do I have that I like? That others like?" And we look at, "What qualities do I have that do not give me or others peace of mind?"


[Optional: Adapted from a June 1946, A.A. Grapevine article describing an assets and liabilities checklist, such as Dr. Bob and many of the early AA’s used to take newcomers through the Steps. See also He Sold Himself Short. (263: 0, 1, 2) Consider adding fear, selfishness, conceit, carelessness, intolerance, ill-temper, sarcasm, etc.]


A.A. Grapevine Volume 3 Issue 1 June 1946
Daily Moral Inventory Mail Call for All A.A.s at Home Or Abroad
Enclosed you will find a little card … to make that moral inventory with regularity. Mark W., Jackson, Mississippi


My Daily Moral Inventory [Day____] Month____ Year_____
Check Results DAILY in Proper Column


ASSETS* Strive for – LIABILITIES* Watch for –
[* Which traits work and do not work to give me serenity and peace of mind?]
-Self forgetfulness [self-forgetting] -Self pity
-Humility -Self justification [self-centered]
-Modesty -Self importance [selfish]
-Self valuation -Self condemnation
-Honesty -Dishonesty
-Patience -Impatience
-Love [courage] -Hate [fear]
-Forgiveness [avoid retaliation] -Resentment
-Simplicity -False Pride
-Trust -Jealousy
-Generosity -Envy
-Activity -Laziness
-Promptness -Procrastination
-Straightforwardness -Insincerity
-Positive thinking -Negative thinking
-High-minded, spiritual, clean thinking -Vulgar, immoral, trashy thinking
-Look for the good -Criticizing
-Eliminate the negative
-Accentuate the positive.




CHECK THE SCORE EVERY NIGHT – TRY TO GET THE SLATE CLEAN


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NOTES ON STEP 4

When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. (64: 3)


I ruthlessly faced my sins [blocks to Spirit]. (Bill’s Story, 13: 2)
Heard in a meeting: “We need self-acceptance before we can have self improvement.”




Problem / Solution / Program of Action
We have come a long way to reach Step 4. We now understand that our problem lies in being powerless over such recurring mental obsessions as the thought that we can drink again in safety, when taking that drink triggers our physical compulsion to drink to excess.
Our solution is to find a power greater than any one of us which can restore us to sanity, health, and wholeness.
Our program of action is to turn our life and will over to such a power, of our own understanding, by the discipline of the daily practice of the Twelve Steps within the AA fellowship. The key to this action is our experience that our troubles…are basically of our own making. (62: 2) We have learned that our own reactions to hard times or good times have become self-centered thought-habits that frequently stand in the way of recovery. We learn that with help, we can change these for our own serenity.


Kit of spiritual tools
We have been promised a kit of spiritual tools. (25: 1) Step 4 delivers a process (64: 1), a method (114: 1) and a treatment (551: 1) that we can use often on our reactions to past events and present day troubles (Step 10), so we are less likely to pick up a drink and more likely to have peace of mind. While there is hard work ahead, we will be learning a lot about ourselves, and we do not have to dread it. Step 4 is not a test, we cannot fail it. The last thing we need is another chance to beat up on ourselves.


Assets
[An] inventory...is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade.(64: 1) We are in the business of staying sober, and the ways we think and behave are the stock in trade. We are practicing understanding the exact nature of what in our lives has not worked to give us peace of mind and also what have we done right. We may address questions like these:

• What qualities do I like about myself? That others like?
• What are my values? Which ones am I committed to living by, and how?
• How have I shown concern for others, including myself?
• What spiritual principles am I practicing in my life?
• When have I done the right thing? What are my successes?

[For Step 4 assets see BB pages 67: 0, 1 and 70: 3. Also see the optional adapted 1946 A.A. Grapevine “Assets and Liabilities checklist” on page 34 of this workbook for a sample list of assets.]




Blocks to our Spirit
The premise of Step 4 is that we have difficulty turning our life and will over because some of our thoughts and behaviors block us from experiencing our Spirit – our higher power or our own better nature. We use the Step 4 process in order to identify these habitual blocking thoughts and behaviors in any resentment, fear, or hurtful action. Once we look deeper inside for the source of our old worn out defenses, or patterns, or defects, or shortcomings, which are usually involved in the roles we played in painful life events, then we can move on and change them in the Steps that follow. This enables us to clear a channel choked up with self-centered, dishonest or fearful motives and permits us to return to our search for our higher power's will, not our own, in any moment of stress. (Optional, see 12&12, 103: 0)


What part of ourselves?
Through practice we learn to focus not so much on who it was that hurt or threatened us, or how they did that, but more on what part of ourselves was disturbed so that we drank, or acted as though we had been drinking. This often relates to feelings associated with our attitudes, personalities and behaviors in reaction to real or imagined threats to our security, our self esteem, or our sex / relationship instincts. We have little control over others and what they do, but we can change how we habitually react to life events. This is difficult for us. But, if we do not change we may drink. We have to ask for help. We find that help through the discipline of the practice of the Twelve Steps.



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Where are we responsible?
We develop new skills in asking where we were responsible in the course of day to day happenings. The Big Book authors never accuse, criticize, or judge us. The purpose of this step is to help us become aware of ourselves as we were in the past and how we are today. We are invited to precisely describe our thinking and behavior. We name our part. We wrestle with spiritual inquiries such as where was I self-centered or dishonest or at fault? We must honestly ask what these terms mean to us in our own experience and in our own words. (See 47: 1; 63: 3) We set down a true picture in accurate proportion and real perspective of how we were involved.
We may have been selfish intentionally, or because we did not even think of the concerns of others. Certainly we have often lied or not been genuine on purpose, but we are also dishonest when we see things only in our own distorted way, and not as they really are. Our self-seeking and inconsiderate behaviors relate to where we tried to control or manipulate others, thinking that we were better than or inferior to them. Fear is our number one character defect, underneath all the others. Our behaviors are driven by ancient fears for our very existence, of losing our security, of not getting our desires, and of being shown up for what we are trying to hide. These culminate in our faults: our instincts and emotions in collision, or deep seismic gaps between what we instinctively want for ourselves and what we wish for others.
In Step 4, we practice giving accurate descriptions of what has blocked us from our Spirit. We state where we missed the mark when we could have been on target, and where we were out of bounds in this game of life. Why do we behave in these ways? Because we are alcoholic. (See 60: 2; 338)


Turnarounds
In focused meditation and prayer, we recognize that others like ourselves are sick and suffering. We ask our higher power to help us wish for others and for ourselves that we all may have deep happiness, genuine serenity, and peace of mind. This helps return us to being right size, and gives us a new perspective as we join in with life. We find that we put our trust in this new faith, not by way of emotion or wishing, but by our own experience through our own practice.


Step 4 Directions
The directions for Step 4 are in the Big Book, yet surprisingly few alcoholics in recovery comprehend them, and fewer still practice them. Our goal is to do both. Our method is to follow the instructions as written and see what the results are.
The reading describes what an inventory is. (64: 1) Then the Big Book authors look at the things in ourselves which had been blocking us (64: 0) from our higher power, which turns out to be self, manifested in various ways. (64: 2) This chapter specifically mentions the blocks to our Spirit of our resentments (64: 3), our fears (64: 3), and the consequences of our own conduct (69: 1) in the area of our personal relationships (including sex). (64: 3 - 65: 0) For each of these three manifestations of self (anger, fear, sex) the book has us analyze our life experiences in these four ways:
1STWe set them on paper. (64: 3) We learn that our troubles are not so much who hurt us or how they did that, but rather may stem from our own reaction to what part of ourselves is being threatened.
2NDWe considered it carefully. (65: 3) Why work to change? We learn that we have to wrestle with these issues or we may drink again and die.
3RDWe turned back to the list. (66: 3) When we are ready to change we learn we must avoid retaliation, and instead see others as being as sick and as worthy as ourselves.
4THReferring to our list again. (67: 2) We learn that by examining our defects and shortcomings (50: 1), our motives (86: 2) and the exact nature of our wrongs (59: 2), where we may be selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened, (67: 2) we thereby become willing to set these matters straight. (67: 2)
Each of these four workings of our lists teaches us something from our own experience that can keep us sober and open the way to our own higher power.
For our resentment inventory in Session 8 and Session 9, we will do a close and careful reading of the Big Book pages 64 to 66, and pages 66 to 67.
Session 10 covers fears, BB pages 67 to 68.
Session 11 looks at our sex and relationship conduct, BB pages 68 to 71.
Session 12 has an optional ‘pocket’ Step 4 guide written by a group member, which is available for review.
Optional Step 4 written inventory forms are included.

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SESSION 8

STEP 4 How It Works Resentment Grudge List

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
The 1ST and 2ND working of the grudge list.
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. (66: 2)


I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY- What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read Chapter 5, How It Works. (8 paragraphs, pp. 64-66) Many will read Step 4 in the 12&12 as well. Watch out for paralysis from fear or perfectionism.
  • • We come here with a huge load of stored up shame, guilt, and unresolved pain to be let go of. Step 4 helps us lay bare the conflicts of the past so that we are no longer at their mercy.
    • Step 4 gives us the means to find out who we are, and what we are not. It is about finding our assets as well as our defects of character. We discover that our problems began long before we took our first drink. We may have felt isolated and afraid, and it was our desire to change the way we felt that led to our drinking.
    • We have a disease. We are not responsible for being an alcoholic, any more than a diabetic is responsible for being diabetic. But now that we know we are an alcoholic, we are responsible for our recovery. There are no longer excuses, because we realize we must live the Steps daily or we will die spiritually, emotionally and physically. We are working on practices - things we do - that we will use every day of our lives to move us from being restless, irritable and discontented toward keeping us sober and having serenity and peace of mind.

• WRITE Do Step 4 as best you reasonably can, and that is more than good enough.

Start writing your grudge lists, one list at a time. Put down all the people, places, and things who you resent on a list. Then list a few notes about how you were hurt or threatened (65: 0), or where you had expectations of others, or others had expectations of you – where you were sore or were ‘burned up.’ (65: 0). And then list what part of your self was affected.
[Resentment: (L -to re-feel.) Indignantly to feel old injuries over and over again.] [Anger: (ON -grief.) To rage.] [Grudge: (OF -to murmur.) Ill-will.]

• TALK Call your sponsor and other members of the group. If there were abuse issues, the task is to not deny them, and to seek outside counseling help.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER Call on a higher power.

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