Today's Thought - January

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January 16

It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a person of wisdom.

~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Judging ourselves rightly gives us a huge edge in life. When we really know ourselves - our strengths and our weaknesses, our quirks and our beauty - then we are ready to really live.

In Steps Four and Five, we judge ourselves. In Step Four, we dig through all the stuff we carry around - our feelings, thinking, behavior, and skills - and judge what to keep and what to leave behind. In Step Five, we tell another person what we have found and make sure we are judging rightly.

Once we really know what helps and what hurts us, we can make wise choices. Once we know how we help and hurt others, we can make wise choices. Working the rest of the Steps helps us follow through on our choices. As we work Steps Six through Twelve, we become wiser and wiser.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please help me become wise by really knowing myself.
Today's Action

Today I will make myself wiser by working on Step Four or Step Ten. I will write down at least two things I am carrying around, and I will tell them to my sponsor.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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January 17

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me.

~Judy Collins

It's been said that the primary task of a parent is to awaken the spirit of the child. Many of us were raised by parents who did anything but that. Indeed, their actions may have broken our spirits.

As parents ourselves, we have another chance. We have a child within us who remembers pain that a child should never have to feel. And we have a child inside who remembers innocence and joy. The view of the joyful, innocent child is the gift we can give our children. We can give them the gentleness, respect, and empathy they deserve. We do not live through our children; they are separate people with lives of their own. But we can awaken their spirits by showing them the unconditional love that we feel for them and that they long to receive from us.

I treat myself well. I’m able to treat my children well. I am learning to give myself and my children the care and understanding needed to nurture our spirits.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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January 18

K.I.S.S.

Keep it simple, stupid!

~Anonymous

When we were using, our addicted minds were too clever for their own good. They told us lies. They told us that we knew things we didn't, that we were strong when we weren't. The addicted mind tried to analyze recovery and find its fatal flaws. That way it could return to addiction with all the reasons why the program can't and shouldn't work. But the program doesn't have its foundation in this type of reasoning. Its foundation is faith, and faith defies reason. Reason is complicated. Faith is very simple.

Our addictions are clever, baffling, powerful, and very patient. Our program disciplines this addiction with the simple truth. We fight the addiction with honesty. Our program has revealed to us that truth is not complicated. It is simple. We should not dress the truth up in fancy clothes.

I want to keep it simple, just as it is. I won't use my clever mind to twist the truth. My program tells me that I need to keep it simple, just as I found it.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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January 19

What I spent, I lost; what I possessed is left to others; what I gave away remains with me.

~Anonymous

They say money talks. And so it does. The amount of time we spend trying to acquire money and the things it can buy speaks volumes about our spiritual state. We use money to gauge our success, to measure our community standing, to give us a sense of security. And then we wonder at the emptiness we feel. There may be coins in our pockets, but they can't buy our spiritual needs.

As we look for fulfillment elsewhere, the importance of money recedes. We begin to treasure quiet times with friends and family - and with our Higher Power. We thrive on sharing our experience, strength, and hope with those who have none. We feel rewarded when we brighten someone's moment with a smile. We come to see that we are enriched by what we give, not by what we have.

Today I look for a chance to give to someone in need because this is how I grow spiritually wealthy.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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January 20

I have a dream!

~Martin Luther King Jr.

During our addiction, maybe we dreamed of joy and laughter with our family - only to find tears and anger. Maybe we dreamed of respect at our job - only to be fired. Our dreams began to feel like burdens. We had lost hope.

With recovery, the hope starts to return. We start to trust ourselves again. We start to trust others again. We start to trust in our Higher Power. Over time, we even dare to dream again. In our dreams, we are loving people. We have something to offer others. We are not scared. This is a sign that hope is returning. We fall in love again with the world, our Higher Power, and ourselves.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank You for giving back my future. Thank You for giving back my dreams.
Action for the Day

Today I'll tell my dreams to a friend. Do my future dreams include improving myself through the program?

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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January 21

To affect the quality of the day - that is the highest of the arts.

~Henry David Thoreau

We are the sculptors of our day. We can mold it creatively into a wonderful masterpiece. We control the amount of moisture we mix into our clay. We pound it, shape it, stroke it, love it.

Others can offer suggestions, and we gain new perspectives from their advice, but it is finally our own creation. Our knife may occasionally slip, or our mixture of earth may be too dry. Any great artist suffers temporary setbacks. Besides, imperfections in art often make it all the more interesting.

How creative can I be in my life today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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January 22

Take time for solitude. How else can you contemplate the blessings of recovery?

~Abby Warman

Is it human nature to focus on what we lack? We waste many precious hours, hours that can never be recaptured, bemoaning what we think we deserve. While it's true that what we get may not be what we want, the circumstances that have come our way snugly fit God’s plan for our unfolding lives.

It's far more productive to spend our quiet times acknowledging the array of gifts we have received. Perhaps we need help from a sponsor or a friend to discover that we have not been shortchanged in this life. If we always gaze upon others, comparing their blessings to our own, we'll never come to believe that each of us receives what is truly necessary to our personal growth. We are where we need to be. Let’s practice gratitude.

I am grateful. I sometimes forget that God is in charge of my life. I will remember and pay special attention to the gifts I'm given today.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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January 23

I imagine that God speaks to me, saying simply, "I kept calling to you, and you did not come." And I answer quite naturally, "I couldn't until I knew there was nowhere else to go."

~Florida Scott-Maxwell

We are willful. We worship guts and individual determination. A man wants to do things in the way that he devises for himself, and it may not occur to him to open himself up to a Higher Power. Yet our Higher Power is always there, calling to us.

There is a paradox in this spiritual lesson: more genuine strength and more options are in our hands when we let go of our willful, controlling attitudes. This is the secret wisdom of a man who has learned from experience. The young, unseasoned man tries to control everything and push on things that he cannot budge. The wiser, more experienced man says, "I see the limits of what is mine to change, and I can let my Higher Power take care of the things I cannot change."

Today, I will notice those concerns that I cannot fix, and I will let them go. Then I will focus on a few areas where I can make a difference.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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January 24

AA Thought for the Day

To grasp the AA program, we have to think things out. Saint Paul said: "They are transformed by the renewing of their minds." We have to learn to think straight. We have to change from alcoholic thinking to sober thinking. We must build up a new way of looking at things. Before we came into AA, we wanted an artificial life of excitement and everything that goes with drinking. That kind of a life looked normal to us then. But as we look back now, that life looks the exact opposite of normal. In fact, it looks most abnormal. We must re-educate our minds. Am I changing from an abnormal thinker to a normal thinker?
Meditation for the Day

I will take the most crowded day without fear. I believe that God is with me and controlling all. I will let confidence be the motif running through the crowded day. I will not get worried, because I know that God is my helper. Underneath are the everlasting arms. I will rest in them, even though the day be full of things crowding in on me.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be calm and let nothing upset me. I pray that I may not let material things control me and choke out spiritual things.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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January 25

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

What good qualities lie within us? How do we choose to use them today? These simple questions point our way. Yet on some days it seems so easy to get swept along with thoughts of future pain. And when we are not worrying about the future, we may fall into regrets about the past.

Either way, we are distracted from our only opportunity to make a real difference - to be the kind of men we want to be in this moment, to learn from today's experiment in living.

On this day, I will walk a little slower and will listen closely to the messages within me.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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January 26

Unbecoming

Glennon Doyle has said, "Recovery is an unbecoming." I love that. There are many definitions of unbecoming. One is an adjective that means "not flattering, fitting, suitable, or appropriate." Or it can be a verb that means "unraveling, investigating and solving something, understanding or explaining our beliefs." Sometimes, it's an undoing. Other times, it’s exploration and slow unwinding of layers. In some cases, unbecoming can be perfectionistic, harsh, critical.

The process of becoming includes unbecoming the person we thought we were. Unbecoming who society thought I should be, who I thought I had to be, who my friends needed me to be. It's about unbecoming someone who is dependent on substances or work or the approval of others to become someone who is self-reliant in her recovery. We can begin unbecoming and then start the process of becoming, or maybe we start becoming first. It’s a cycle; it's not linear. We don't have to fully unbecome to become.

Who will you unbecome so you can become you?

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

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January 27

Being able to be wrong

We had to compete with everyone, sometimes subtly, sometimes less subtly. We always had to be right; to be wrong seemed unbearable. We could never seem to bring ourselves to say simply, "I was wrong." We were afraid of what would happen to us if we did. Our egos were very fragile; we were never as strong as we had led ourselves to believe.

We came to discover, however, that real strength comes from being able to be wrong and from being willing to change our ways of thinking and living.

Can I face being wrong and learn from it?

Higher Power, help me realize each day that it is okay to be wrong, that real communication with other people depends on my being willing to see other points of view, and that being teachable is a divine quality.

Today I will handle being wrong by...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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January 28

Leave No One Behind

In the military, you hear, "Leave no one behind." But the reality is, we get left behind all the time. Especially women.

I was left behind. I was left behind by poor leadership. I was left behind by female NCOs, and I was left behind by my command. I think this plays a huge role in how women feel when they get out of the military.

Even as an employee of the VA now, I've often closed myself off to female veterans, so I've had to work really hard to open myself up and connect with them. Now that I have, I've made some incredible relationships. The women are amazing. I wasn't taught that as a woman in the military, so I know it's hard for women vets to get support. But there are so many resources out there for women who are having difficulty getting back in the world.

Since I opened myself up to women veterans - especially the older ones - I've learned so much and gotten so much compassion in return.

Today I am committed to leaving no woman veteran behind. Today I will offer a helping hand, a listening ear, compassion, and support.

~Berlynn F., U.S. Marine Corps, 2009?2011

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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January 29

Reflection for the Day

Why do I do what I do? Why did I say what I said? Why on earth did I put off an important responsibility? Questions like these, best asked of myself in a quiet time of meditation, demand honest answers. I may have to think deeply for those answers, going beyond the tempting rationalizations that lack the luster of truth. Have I accepted the fact that self-deception can only damage me, providing a clouded and unrealistic picture of the person I really am?
Today I Pray

May my Higher Power allow me to push aside my curtain of fibs, alibis, rationalizations, justifications, distortions, and downright lies and let in the light on the real truths about myself. May I meet the person I really am and take comfort in the person I can become.
Today I Will Remember

Hello, Me. Meet the real Me.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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January 30

Asking for help is the first step to healthy living.

By admitting to our friends that we don't know what we should do about the many confusing, sometimes scary circumstances in our lives, we open the door for our Higher Power to reach us. That's often the way help comes to us. At times we'll open a book and an inspiring passage will jump out, or we’ll wake up feeling as if God has answered us in our dreams. But more frequently and vividly, our help is in the gentle words of a friend.

Many of us postponed getting help because we dreaded asking for it. We thought that asking for help would make us look weak and uninteresting. We so wanted to be liked and admired that we pretended all was well, while in reality all was awful. It's a profound relief to share our burdens with other people. And the best part is, we'll get needed guidance.

I won't be afraid to cry "help" today. My Higher Power can help only if I'm open to it.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*