Today's Thought - December

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December 16

Where there is fear, we lose the way of our spirit.

~Mahatma Gandhi

We don't like to admit that we are afraid. But when we won't admit the feeling, we can't deal with it. By denying our fears, we don't get stronger, we weaken ourselves. Denying fear doesn't get rid of problems, it only reinforces them. In the end, if we don't handle fear well, it rules us.

Fear is a universal human emotion, and we cannot eradicate it. We must learn how to handle the hot coals of fear. When we learn how, they don't have to be destructive. Handling fear begins with self-knowledge. We first learn that the unsettling feeling we have may be fear. Our desire to run away, or the tight knot in our gut, may be fear. That admission to ourselves can be followed by talking about it to a friend or a sponsor. Sometimes just speaking the fear out loud to someone we trust is enough to put it back in perspective. We have handled it.

Today, I will notice my feelings and respond to feelings of fear in constructive ways.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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December 17

If you play with a thing long enough, you will surely break it.

~Anonymous

Some things shouldn't be played with. Our recovery program is one of these things. When we play with our program, we're taking a risk. We play with the program by missing meetings, or by not calling our sponsors, or by skipping the Steps we think are too hard. When we do these things, we risk our lives.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me know that I must work this program with care and respect.
Action for the Day

Today I'll make two lists. On one list, I’ll write ways I work on my program. On the other list, I'll write ways I play with my program. I'll focus on putting my energy into working the program.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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December 18

Successful, healthy relationships allow for both people to form a bond which lets them not only grow together but also grow independently as people.

~Mara Opperman

If we expect our romantic partner to meet all our needs, we're bound to be disappointed. No matter how rewarding that relationship might be, we need other people in our lives, too: friends, relatives, and others who share particular interests with us. No one person can speak to all the aspects of our lives. Still, we might wish we could lose ourselves in a romantic closeness, as we once lost ourselves in addiction and codependency. Then we get hurt and angry when the impossible doesn't happen. Or we fail to understand that our partner's perspectives and reactions are different from our own.

An intimate relationship will always be a mixture of fascination, mystery, frustration, and new understandings. When we realize we cannot merge with our partner, we will be better able to meet as separate, individual people, and our relationships will become vastly more peaceful.

Thanks to God for the differences among us. Let me learn more about them and accept them.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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December 19

Believing in change

At first, drugs or booze turned us on; later they turned on us. We couldn't find any peace anywhere. We began turning into the kind of person we didn't want to be, but we didn't know what was happening to us or how to change.

When we came to believe that our lives could and would turn around if we quit drinking or using, things began to get better.

Do I believe I can change?

Higher Power, help me to be open-minded and humble enough to believe that what has worked to change the lives of others will work to change mine.

Today I will seek change by...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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December 20

Work the Program

The ship was pretty tough on me being in recovery, and I think that's something unique to the Navy. The problem was meetings were at night, after normal working hours. And on a ship as an air traffic controller, my primary working hours were at night. So that didn't work out very well.

What the ship taught me was pretty simple - I had to work the program, and I couldn't just go to meetings for a solution. I had to separate the meetings and the people from the program.

If I did the program (meaning the Steps) - if I prayed, if I did all the things that I'm supposed to do, I could stay sober.

Day by day, my recovery program entails a spiritual program.

~Joe H., U.S. Navy, 1988–2015

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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December 21

Winter

In her beautiful book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times, Katherine May notes that winter is "a time for libraries, the muffled quiet of bookstacks and the scent of pages and dust." I absolutely concur, although since the pandemic, I've spent winters in my home library, not the public library. Winter, more than any other season, is when I dig in to reading and writing and the work of recovery (which, for me, is in large part a lot of reading and writing).

When the days start getting shorter and colder, I give myself permission to get out the flannel sheets and fuzzy pajamas, the dark hot chocolate and a puzzle, and wood for our fireplace. It's in my winter cocoon that I feel drawn to look inward, less distracted by beaches and barbecues. I recover during every season, of course. But winter provides the perfect setting for the solitude that I need to really investigate where I am on my journey. Journaling, reading, and healing beside a crackling fire is magical. Try it sometime.

Winter invites us to retreat into our recovery; I accept the invitation gladly.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

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December 22

Reflection for the Day

Since I came to recovery, I've become increasingly aware of the Serenity Prayer. I see it in recovery literature, on the walls of meeting rooms, and in the homes of newfound friends. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." Do I understand the Serenity Prayer? Do I believe in its power and repeat it often? Is it becoming easier for me to accept the things I cannot change?
Today I Pray

May the words of the Serenity Prayer never become mechanical for me or lose their meaning in the lulling rhythms of repetition. I pray that these words will continue to take on new depths of significance as I fit life's realities to them. I trust that I may find the solutions I need in this prayer, which, in its simplicity, encompasses all of life’s situations.
Today I Will Remember

Share the prayer.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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December 23

Religion and art spring from the same root and are close kin. Economics and art are strangers.

~Willa Cather

As adults, we have become more practical about meeting our economic needs and responsibilities. Perhaps we've gone so far in the process of learning to be fiscally responsible that we've become greedy or cynical. Some of us may have forgotten that there are things more sacred than monetary success.

Creativity, play, love, connection to a Higher Power, joy - all of these are among our needs. They are as important to our spirits as food and shelter are to our physical survival. If we've given up on our creative side because "it doesn’t pay" or because we're "not good enough to succeed," we may be denying the spirit within us the nourishment it yearns for. We must determine what success means to each of us; we need not be limited by others' definitions or goals. Creative expression is its own reward. It is the voice of our soul.

Today, I express my creativity in something I do, simply for its own sake.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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December 24

When I grow up, I want to be a child.

~Dick H.

Some of us adult children need to grow up before we can be the children we never were. It may take years to grow old and wise enough to be young, but it's possible. With enough insight, determination, and change, we can regain our lost childhood.

What does it take to do that? First, it takes a decision, and then it takes the willingness to build the necessary skills. How much is it worth to reclaim that childhood? Is it worth everything? That’s how much commitment needs to be behind the decision. No wistful "wouldn't it be wonderful if" will do it.

What are the skills of a child? Openness, lightheartedness, trust, the ability to expect wonderful surprises. Those of us who didn't learn these attitudes effortlessly and naturally will have to practice. But if we choose to, we can learn. We can learn to build sand castles, to wonder about mysterious possibilities, and to expect the good in each new day. The world surrounding little children is the same world surrounding us. The viewpoint is the crucial difference. For us, a merry heart is a matter of choice.

Today, I will pray for young eyes and a young heart.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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December 25

Giving Comfort

It's better to comfort than to be comforted.

~St. Francis of Assisi

Our teachers, advisors, sponsors, and fellow members in our program find many ways to remind us that it is always more blessed to give than to receive, to love than to be loved. Often a newcomer is kindly told at his or her first meeting to "let us love you until you can learn to love yourself."

When we give of ourselves, we always get back spiritual rewards. The first eleven Steps of our program are aimed at building ourselves into better people, worthy of giving. Through those Steps, we learn to admit wrongs, accept challenges, find a Higher Power, turn problems over, inventory ourselves and ask release from shortcomings, make amends, and seek God's will for us. Then we are capable of giving this message to others.

The result of this dedication to always present the best of gifts for the benefit of others is self-reward. In comforting, we are comforted.

In giving of myself and of the principles learned from the Steps, I am forever reaching to be happy, joyous, and free.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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December 26

Prayer eases our minds.

When in the midst of turmoil, we resist quietly praying and trusting God to resolve the problem. We want to do something on our own. We want to change the circumstances that are troubling us. Praying doesn’t seem enough: It’s just too passive.

Prayer isn't new to most of us. Before coming into a Twelve Step program, we had prayed all the time for the alcoholic: "Please, God, make him stop drinking." "Please, God, get her home safely." "Please, God, don't let them embarrass the family." What's different now is that we are learning to pray "for knowledge of [God’s] will for us," instead of asking God to change other people to our specifications.

From our friends and sponsors, we are learning that at the right time, in the right way, God will change what needs changing in others' lives. Prayer is still very helpful. In particular, it quiets our minds. But God's timetable is out of our hands.

It's natural to want to know God's will for everyone, but I'll be grateful to know it just for myself. In the quiet of my mind, I'll know.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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December 27

All his thinking could not make him understand, but his singing heart could.

~Laura Adams Armer

Now that we are sober, we are pretty good thinkers. Clear, sober thinking is great. But thinking is not the whole story. We human beings are only part mind; we also are part body, part heart, and part soul.

We need to use all of these parts in our recovery from addiction. Our recovery program asks us to think, of course. It also feeds our hearts as we relate to other people in the fellowship of our groups. It teaches us to take care of our bodies by staying sober, eating better, and sleeping like normal people. Spirituality in the program feeds our soul as we learn ways to relate to our Higher Power.

We become healthier and more whole - mind, heart, body, and soul - as we work the Twelve Step program. Life is meant to be lived on all of these levels. And when one part of us doesn't get it, we have three other parts of us to help us understand.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please help me use all of me to live life fully - my body, mind, heart, and soul.
Today's Action

Today I will spend five minutes just sitting and relaxing. I will notice how I am aware of thoughts, emotions, and daydreams.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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December 28

My Higher Power takes many forms. One of the most comforting is the presence of the Great Mother, the magnificent Goddess who has a personal interest in guiding my life.

~Rita Casey

One of the first things we learn in this recovery program is that we have a Higher Power. Next we learn that we can define our Higher Power according to our own needs. As we change and get more comfortable in our recovery, our definition of a Higher Power, or God, may change too. However, wisdom is our reward for believing, and any gender or form of Higher Power will do.

Having a Higher Power's loving guidance is perhaps the most blessed of all the rewards of this program. Never do we need to feel alone. Decisions will be easier to make when we remember to ask our Higher Power for guidance.

Knowing that we have a loving Higher Power who truly cares about our safety and well-being makes every moment of our lives more peaceful and secure. We will be on the right path if we look for the guidance that we’ve been promised.

I may not understand why I have received God's grace, but my sobriety is a sure sign that I have. I will let my Higher Power guide me all day long.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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December 29

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

~The Serenity Prayer

"I'm in my addiction, and I don't know how to get out." To be that honest with ourselves, our sponsor, or our group is to start to find a way back. It's crucial to my recovery to know what my addiction is, how it acts, and how I feel when I'm in it. No one can put that awareness inside me but me.

To be in the addiction is painful, but we know that taking "First things first" helps. Admitting that I'm powerless, calling someone, going to a meeting, and being gentle with myself: these are all important parts of my recovery. Whatever works. Above all, I thank my Higher Power for the honesty and humility to admit that I'm struggling. It's all right to struggle; it's dangerous to stay in my addiction.

I am understanding that admitting my struggle makes me strong. I know that the support I need to help me through my struggle is there if I ask for it.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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December 30

If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.

~Isaac B. Singer

We all know men and women who are too often critical and negative. Sometimes we, too, are these people. And when we fall into this trap of negativity, our life becomes unnecessarily complicated.

Any behavior we commit to practicing regularly is strengthened, whether it's positive or negative. It benefits us then to practice developing and holding a positive outlook rather than a negative one. Making the decision, each day, to quiet our mind, clearing it of negative expectations, is not a mysterious or difficult undertaking. It is rather an opportunity to influence in meaningful ways the many experiences we're destined to have.

We're empowered by claiming responsibility for how we perceive and respond to our opportunities, and thus for who we are becoming.

I will look at today as a day full of promise with hope and gladness in my heart.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*