Today's Thought - November

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November 16

Identifying Past Wounds

I don't always love the "digging around in our past" part of recovery. Most days, I crave and strive to be present and living in the now, or to be forward-thinking and forward-moving. When I do visit the past, my preference is to focus on the happy and good parts. But the wounded pieces of my past come calling without being invited. Completely new experiences and circumstances can trigger my very old, very core wounds.

I've done a lot of therapy and have been working on my recovery for a long time, so when my core wounds are triggered, I can usually respond to them with gentle understanding. One of my predominant past wounds is abandonment, and it's amazing how often it shows up. It's even more amazing that I recognize it almost immediately, acknowledge it, feel it, and then remind myself that it's an old hurt. I remind myself that the only person who can abandon me now is myself, and I'm not about to ever do that again.

I greet my past wounds with understanding and compassion, then I release them, again and again.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

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November 17

Enjoying reality

Cloud Nine does not compare to the joys and beauty of a clean life. In fact, Cloud Nine is opposed to our new way of life. It's a fantasy, a trip, a high - like that first drink, fix, or pill.

Now we are dealing with reality - a real and beautiful place instead of a fanciful dream. Each day can be a journey with our Higher Power, beyond pain and suffering, beyond Cloud Nine, in the wonderful here and now.

Am I learning to enjoy today?

I pray for guidance through all aspects of growing, so I don't get stuck in any one place.

The real things I will enjoy today are...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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November 18

Addiction Is Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful

I never said no to anything in the service, but alcohol was my primary drug of choice. I got deployed to Afghanistan in 2002. That’s when my serious drinking started.

When we got there, there was nothing - no running water, no electricity - same conditions as in a combat zone. But there was still booze. It's really hot in the Middle East, so we worked at night and slept during the day. That was a hard adjustment for many of us, so we started sneaking alcohol in. A lot of us drank almost daily to take the edge off. Then we'd just pass out. I didn't realize it at the time, but something had changed. After several deployments, I started to feel invincible. There was a thrill to living on the edge. And alcohol was a big part of that.

But we weren't invincible.

I will never forget what I learned in recovery: Addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It sneaks up on you, then takes over your life.

All of this is why admitting our powerlessness is the First Step.

~Kenneth B., U.S. Air Force, 2001–2007

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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November 19

Reflection for the Day

The Twelve Steps teach us that, as faith grows, so does security. The terrifying fear of nothingness begins to subside. As we work the program, we find that the basic antidote for fear is a spiritual awakening. We lose the fear of making decisions, for we realize that if our choice proves wrong, we can learn from the experience. And should our decision be the right one, we can thank our Higher Power for giving us the courage and the grace that caused us so to act. Am I grateful for the courage and grace I receive from my Higher Power?
Today I Pray

I ask that I be given the power to act, knowing that I have at least a half chance to make the right decision and that I can learn from a wrong one. For so long, decision-making seemed beyond my capabilities. Now, I can find joy in being able to make choices. Thank you, Higher Power, for courage.
Today I Will Remember

Freedom is choosing.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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November 20

An inspiring book, a caring friend, a moment of silence - all can offer the guidance we seek.

We are learning to seek guidance on how to handle the serious circumstances of our lives. We used to feel we had to figure out everything for ourselves. What a gift it is to seek suggestions from friends we can trust. And hearing others tell how a line in a book gave them a needed answer has become a valuable tool too.

Relying on the silence for our answers, we are less certain at first. We can't always tell if it's our ego directing us rather than our Higher Power. The important thing is that we are looking for help. We are no longer blocked by our need to be self-reliant in all matters.

Guidance is always available. We simply have to know where to look and be willing to hear.

I will look at my problems today as opportunities for intimacy with other people. Problems will free me from isolation.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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November 21

I learn that safety is where we make it

~Ekua Omosupe

We each have different images of safety. Some associate safety with having a secure job, enough money (however we define "enough"), a home of our own, or a partner willing to stick by us forever. Some think safety comes with being given a clean bill of health by a physician. But not everyone who has these things feels truly secure, and many who lack them walk fearlessly through their days.

Material comfort, physical health, promises - there is no guarantee that any of these will bless us permanently. A true, lasting sense of safety lies elsewhere. We are safe when we know so well who we are that no one can dissuade us from our self-knowledge. We are safe when we decide to trust the love our Higher Power has for us. We are safe when we are more concerned with how we can serve others than with what they can do for us or take from us.

Safety comes from having an open mind, a generous heart, and a resilient spirit.

Today, my knowledge and acceptance of who I am and my deepening relationship with a Higher Power give me a feeling of security.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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November 22

Hanging on to Old Relationships

We want to travel baggage-free on this journey. It makes the trip easier. Some of the baggage we can let go of is lingering feelings and unfinished business with past relationships: anger; resentments; feelings of victimization, hurt, or longing.

If we have not put closure on a relationship, if we cannot walk away in peace, we have not yet learned our lesson. That may mean we will have to have another go-around with that lesson before we are ready to move on. We may want to do a Fourth Step (a written inventory of our relationships) and a Fifth Step (an admission of our wrongs). What feelings did we leave with in a particular relationship? Are we still carrying those feelings around? Do we want the heaviness and impact of that baggage on our behavior today?

Are we still feeling victimized, rejected, or bitter about something that happened two, five, ten, or even twenty years ago? It may be time to let it go. It may be time to open ourselves to the true lesson from that experience. It may be time to put past relationships to rest, so we are free to go on to new, more rewarding experiences.

We can choose to live in the past, or we can choose to finish our old business from the past and open ourselves to the beauty of today. Let go of your baggage from past relationships.

Today, I will open myself to the cleansing and healing process that will put closure on yesterday and open me to the best today, and tomorrow, has to offer in my relationships.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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November 23

Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.

~Paul Tillich

It may be said the road that runs between loneliness and solitude is the highway of recovery. Before recovery, most of us fear and flee loneliness. We may be terrified of being alone because we don't think of ourselves as good company. Once the walk down the road of recovery has begun, however, we discover in that same aloneness a most marvelous person - ourselves.

Our task is to resist the old, infernal messages that would make us shy away from ourselves. Our task is to rise above that horrid noise and acknowledge that we have marvelous thoughts if we would only give ourselves credit for them. We need to accept that many people love us, and their lives would be less if we were not part of them. We love and are loved. That makes us very special. It is not the stillness that matters, for that is the same in both loneliness and solitude. The difference is in the attitude we have toward ourselves.

As my recovery grows, so does my ability to be comfortable in my own company.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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November 24

When hope can't be found, seek out a friend and borrow theirs.

~Anonymous

Often we find ourselves feeling down or wondering what it’s all about. We may feel sorry for ourselves or angry at the world. This is a dangerous place for us addicts. At these times, we may want to trust alcohol and chemicals more than we trust our Higher Power. At these times, we need to seek out recovery friends.

Our recovery friends help us remember that we are important but not in a grandiose way. We also discover the mutual benefits of recovery friendships. There will be times when we can offer encouragement to friends who are feeling hopeless. In turn, they'll be able to offer the same hope to others or perhaps even to us on a bad day. This is the way of recovery - friends helping friends.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please give me the power to reach out whenever I feel hopeless. Also, help me to provide hope to others. Help me to honor the "we" of recovery.
Today's Action

Today I will make a list of all the people in my recovery groups that I will turn to if I start to feel hopeless or feel like using.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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November 25

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.

~James Baldwin

There may be times when the shame and fear of the past intrudes on the present. We worry that our children may have been harmed by our addiction. When the time comes to make amends to our children, we can trust we'll know the way to do that. We may or may not choose to tell our children we are addicts. We may or may not explain the past to them. But we must honestly face the consequences of our addiction on our children and commit ourselves to helping them heal.

With the help of our group and the Twelve Step program, we'll know what to do when the opportunity for healing presents itself. One recovering person said, "The day I started to recover, my child did, too. My amend for the past is to make the present different."

God, please grant me the courage to face myself so that I can face my children.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart