That's Not Fair

[roverl0616]

While having this illness may not seem fair, that in no way relieves us from taking responsibility for having it. As I was understanding what it means to be alcoholic I said to my sponsor a lot, that's not fair. Finally, he said he knew what my problem was, that I always wanted things to be fair, but instead I should be begging for mercy for everything that happened while I wasn't taking responsibility for having this illness. Then I was warned that in recovery I couldn't expect things to be fair. That still having this illness was a liability. Others may be able to fight and argue about things, and get away with doing so, usually without too much harm, but for me that could prove deadly. I couldn't afford to live that way. I had to learn to live differently. That too didn't seem fair. I was being forced to be responsible for being alcoholic or die from being one. From having this illness I had to learn how to live differently. It's a paradox that from learning to live differently I was led to a life far better than most people will ever know, and one they'll never be able to get because they're not alcoholic. Now, that's not fair either.