We learn in our recovery that life based on self will won't work. It's hard for some of us to see our self will, but we will surely feel the results from having it. When we do things we know are wrong, things that naturally everybody knows aren't right like, lying, stealing or cheating, yet we choose to go ahead and do them, by thinking we can get away with it. or we will be gaining something for ourselves. This is our self will, we choose to go against what we know naturally to be right. We all pay for doing this, no one is exempt from the pain that this causes when we do this. When we're new to recovery and without the use of alcohol and drugs to numb the pain usually for the first time, it's really hard to feel the pain from our self will. This is when we either choose to start to learn how to stop choosing self will for ourselves, or die from doing so.