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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse.

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Old 11-01-2014, 02:02 PM   #1
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Default TODAY'S GIFT FOR NOVEMBER 2014

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Saturday, November 1, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Oh, this is the creature that doesn't exist . . . . In fact, it never was. But since they loved it, a pure beast came to be.
—Rainer Maria Rilke

The unicorn, serene and white, is a strong and graceful animal with the body of a horse. A single white horn grows from its brow, making it unique among all animals. It is gentle, shy, and good, and though stories have been told about it for centuries, many people say it never existed. We call it a myth, yet in telling its story, we make it real.

Friendship is like the unicorn: created from faith. Before we speak, reach out, believe in the possibility of relations with another, friendship does not exist. But when we share a meal, a joke, or a walk - a piece of ourselves - we open up to two friends . . . one in the other person, the other within ourselves.

How does sharing myself with another create a friend within me?
The the thought that came to mind was "...the sum of the parts, two parts become a whole." Not sure where or how, I just know I found a little of me, my sharing with others in the rooms of recovery, by learning to identify.
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Old 11-02-2014, 10:16 AM   #2
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Sunday, November 2, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

For no actual process happens twice; only we meet the same sort of occasion again.
—Suzanne K. Langer

Today is not going to be like yesterday. Nor will it resemble tomorrow. Each day is special and promises us many new ideas - perhaps the chance to make a friend, or to learn something interesting from a teacher or a book. Some activities today will be familiar, just like playing a game for the second, third, or tenth time is familiar. And yet, the way each player moves the pieces around the board will be different. The excitement about today is that it is full of surprises. Every thing we do, every conversation we have, will not be repeated in just the same way again, and this reminds us how special each of us is.

What new discovery will I make today?
Not always new, but for me, "It is generally my stuff not theirs"!
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Old 11-03-2014, 03:09 PM   #3
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Monday, November 3, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Here's Sulky Sue
What shall we do?
Turn her face to the wall . . . .
—Mother Goose

When she put her Sulky Sue up against the wall, was this mother a wise or silly goose? If Sue was confused, could she talk sense with a wall? If she was angry, would the wall ever know why? If she was sad, would the wall wipe her tears away? If she was lonely, would the wall take her by the hand? Some walls are built for support, others to keep people away. To sulk is to look for support, someone strong to hold us up, not a silly goose who will turn us away.

Sulking is not the best way to look for help, and when we sulk, we are likely to end up isolating ourselves in some corner of our own making. And on the other hand, when we see another sulking, how much better it is to offer support instead of isolation!

Do I build walls of isolation, or walls of support?
Love the picture that sulking brings to mind. There was a lady in NA who use to say, "I don't do 'hissy fits' any more. So often we are a prisoner of our own mind, either by our own thoughts of 'being so hard done by' or 'people are out to get us' or 'they just don't understand' or 'if they knew what I had gone through' and the list goes on and on, not recognizing, that we isolate ourselves instead of supporting others because for the most part, been there, done it wore the t-shirt, in one form or another. We experienced our own trauma. We are not the only ones who suffered trauma. We all have to heal and deal with our own trauma, each in our own way and allow ourselves to heal. When we isolate, we block that healing power from coming in and changing us. It prevents us from letting go of the past, allowing the scars to heal, and making a new life for ourselves.
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Old 11-04-2014, 03:30 PM   #4
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Tuesday, November 4, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.
—Sigmund Freud

The truth is our friend. It is a rough and humble kind of friend - but a friend nonetheless. Each of us will need to learn to spend time with this friend because it is one that is not easy to escape. It is always turning up when we least expect it. The truth about ourselves is hard to avoid. It seems to knock at our door until we let it in.

Perhaps we have played the game of hide and seek sometime in our lives. Sometimes we tell little lies about ourselves to impress others, or we act in ways that, deep down, we know are not really the way we want to be. We can never be comfortable this way. We know what it is like to hide and try to keep from being found. The truth about us is an expert player. It seeks us out until we put our arms around it and welcome it.

Is there something I am hiding from today?
Always had a fear of growing old. Told myself I was going kicking and fighting all the way and yet in today, I seldom wear make up and beauty creams and use very basic Dove soap and water and put creams on when I remember to. I have been reaching for the creams a little more often lately. Part of it is also the loss of memory, not liking the fact that I keep forgetting, and asking myself, "What if I hadn't forgot?"
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Old 11-06-2014, 04:49 PM   #5
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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Nature, the Gentlest Mother, is
Impatient of no Child . . . .
—Emily Dickinson

When a girl sits on the seashore, the waves do not try to slap her around. When a boy wanders alone in a field, the sky does not accuse him of talking back. When a man is alone in the woods, does the earth nag him for failing once more? And when a woman is alone in the park, does the wind whisper behind her back? Nature never blames or condemns: she gives us freedom of thought and plenty of space. Nature's ways are proven and true; she lets us grow at our own rate. Nature brings us sleep, dawn, new days; she is full of new life.

We are a part of nature, and everything we do is part of it. We can find comfort in this knowledge, if we take the time to remember it when we are feeling bad. Nature is always willing to share its serenity.

When we escape to nature, what feelings do we have that we want to take back home with us?
When I am out in nature, it reinforces the power of the Creator. It makes me aware of how each living thing gets just what it needs to grow and survive unless man interferes. When you just sit and soak up the energy around you, you come home with many gifts if you are open to receive them.
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Old 11-06-2014, 04:52 PM   #6
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Thursday, November 6, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Work is love made visible.
—Kahlil Gibran

Family members show love and concern for others through their work. Parents might build a bookcase or prepare the meals. Children might help by emptying the wastebaskets. All are showing love through what they do. In our lives together, our work is an important way of saying I love you. We will still want to give them lots of hugs and kisses. But our work shows how much we care, and who is important to us. Our work around the house is an investment. It makes a home for all of us, constructed of visible love.

How can I make our home a better one today?
Secure you home by making it a safe place show your love. What the home contains means nothing if love can't be expressed within the four walls.
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Old 11-07-2014, 08:55 AM   #7
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Friday, November 7, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.
—Henry David Thoreau

One of the greatest gifts of our lives is the ability to enjoy solitude. Many of us are unable to enjoy this gift. We are too busy - busy with work, with friends, with entertainment.

When we slow down, we find out we can feel peaceful when we are alone. For most of us, solitude is ordinary - we each find our private place and take up our favorite activities: fishing, sewing, writing, building models, and making pictures. These simple activities are so much fun it's hard to figure out why it took us so long to calm down and enjoy them.

Our dreams may be quite ordinary. We can learn how to find them.

What ordinary activities have I been putting off because I think I'm too busy?
Just got caught up, cleaned out my closets! Not just my apartment, but some recovery material too.
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Old 11-08-2014, 09:12 AM   #8
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Saturday, November 8, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

All acts performed in the world begin in the imagination.
—Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

We use our imaginations to plan how we're going to build a model car or plane, rearrange the furniture in our rooms, even dress for a special party. The imagination is like a big piece of drawing paper on which we sketch the way we want something to look.

When we don't know just how to begin a task, the imagination gets us started. It's like having the directions for playing a new game. Dreams about the future, where we want to go, the jobs we want to have, are made more real when we "draw" them in our minds. The imagination gives us courage, too.

Do I have the courage today to imagine a better me?
Sometimes I think my imagination works overtime, and I have to bring it back to reality and make sure I am grounded. Some days when the pain is bad, it is hard to envision a good day and yet it is good in today to see people and receive a smile and a compliment for all the hard work and effort for that has gone into the past months of trying to heal and feel better. A big part was coming off the medication the doctor gave me, making healthy food choices, and getting some exercise when I can.
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Old 11-09-2014, 07:01 AM   #9
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Sunday, November 9, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Love is something if you give away, you end up having more.
—Malvina Reynolds

The other side of giving is taking. Many of us were brought up to believe that it's not okay to take, so we diminish admiration that people give us. "Oh, this old rag, I got it at a garage sale for next to nothing." This response to a compliment can take away the joy of giving it from the person who admired the way we looked.

Giving needs taking to complete it. We can keep the cycle of generosity going by taking gracefully. A world without those who take would be unbalanced. When someone gives us love, appreciation, or a gift, we can show our real pleasure with a simple thank you, and stop thinking we don't deserve it.

Can I accept what's given to me today in the spirit it's offered?
Yes, that is one of the gifts of recovery. It is nice to be able to be able to say, "Thank you" without having you discounting it or myself, justifying, excusing, or put a long tale of woe or explanation behind it, although I still find myself doing it at times.

I gift graciously given, should be graciously received. It was hard for me to do so.
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Old 11-10-2014, 11:22 AM   #10
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Monday, November 10, 2014
You are reading from the book Today's Gift
He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery!
—Anne Frank

Someone once said happiness is like a butterfly: if we chase it, we'll never find it. But if we sit quietly, it will come and land on us. Faith and courage are the same. All we have to do is sit quietly and ask for these gifts from God. In time, and with patience, they will be ours, and so will the happiness we can then pass on to others.

Anne Frank wrote the above words facing a concentration camp and certain death. If she could find happiness and faith and courage within herself under those circumstances, then certainly we can too. These gifts are ours, already within us, if we but look for them.

What can I ask for today?
For me, I am asking for the right words when I talk to my doctor today. Last night I asked for clarity of thought and the knowing I needed for what I needed, to live in the moment each day.
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Old 11-11-2014, 03:37 AM   #11
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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

We shall not cease from exploration,
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive from where we started
And know the place for the first time.
—T. S. Eliot

We spend much of our lives looking forward to milestones we hope will mark our passage into wisdom - that time and place when once and for all we will know all there is to know.

When I am 13, I'll be grown up, we say. When I am 16, 18, 21, drive a car, graduate, marry, write a book, own a house, find a job, or retire; then I'll be grown up.

When we seek complete transformation, mere insight is disappointing. We find we don't know all there is to know - not at thirteen or 35 or 80. We are still growing up.

The baby, the child, the younger person each of us was yesterday is still with us; we continue to love, hate, hurt, grieve, startle, delight, feel.

There is no magic moment of lasting enlightenment; simply a series of fleeting moments lived one at a time each day. They bring us home to who we've always been.

What small thing have I learned today?
Things will either happen or they won't! If they are meant to be, they will be. If I try to make them happen, they often have a distorted sense of being or they seem to be missing a key component. i.e. Like trying to sleep, I have tried to go to bed three times and so far it hasn't happened. So what did I do? I got up and posted. Hopefully, now I will be able to sleep.

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Old 11-12-2014, 07:38 AM   #12
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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

No life is so hard that you can't make it easier by the way you take it.
—Ellen Glasgow

Jimmy and Karen were out catching insects for their science class. Jimmy had caught a gray moth and Karen a monarch butterfly.

"My moth sure isn't very pretty," Jimmy said as he looked at the two insects. "Now I'll have to catch something else."

"Oh, but it is," said Karen. "See what a fat body your moth has compared to my butterfly, and it's got fuzzies on its wings."

"You're right," said Jimmy, beginning to smile at his moth. "I was almost going to let him go."

How many times in the past have we taken just a quick look at something before rejecting it? Often, simply because a thing isn't quite what we expected, we don't give ourselves a chance to discover what it is that makes that thing beautiful. There is a secret beauty in everything, even ourselves. When we take the time to seek it out in other people and things, especially those that have disappointed us, that beauty is reflected in us, too.

Can I find the beauty in something common today?
A lesson learned in recovery, there is something good in everything and everyone if we but look for it. I firmly believe that everything is not all positive or all negative. I feel it isn't fair to discount something or someone, without giving them a chance. Someone did that for me. That is why we have Steps 4-9.
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Old 11-13-2014, 03:55 AM   #13
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Thursday, November 13, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he could never be found out.
—Thomas Macaulay

Remember the tale about the poor, tired shoemaker who cut out his last bit of leather and awoke to find a beautiful pair of shoes sewn for him? Night after night two little elves secretly worked from midnight to dawn sewing shoes to help the old craftsman. Helping the shoemaker without his knowing who they were made the elves very happy, and they danced and sang as they worked away. These elves knew their reward was in the doing of the good deed, not in the discovery of them doing it.

What secret gift of kindness can I give today?
  • The list is long:

    A smile

    A door opened

    A compliment

    A greeting

    A prayer

    A gift (small, medium, or large)

    A blessing

    A meal

    A flower

    A hope stone

    A stuffed animal

    A book

    and so much more.
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Old 11-14-2014, 09:57 AM   #14
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Friday, November 14, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
—Joseph Fort Newton

Communication is much more than words. Words are merely fingers pointing the direction to understanding - they are not understanding itself. To really communicate with someone, we have to allow ourselves, just for a moment, to become that other person. When we do this, we begin to be able to see beyond the masks that hide what another person is really feeling.

When we take the time to really see others, we may discover they are frightened, timid people longing for understanding. When we get beyond reacting to their outward behavior and move toward viewing their inner selves, it is much easier to extend a hand of friendship, to say we care, and truly mean it.

Who can I see as they really are today?
This is true for most people, if we place ourselves in their shoes and recognize the fact that many are wearing masks and they too have been where we have been or they need a hand to get to where we are at.
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Old 11-15-2014, 09:23 AM   #15
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Saturday, November 15, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Growing is like running a twenty-six mile marathon. If we give up on the twenty-fourth mile, we will never know what it feels like to finish the race.
—Anonymous

There will be times in our growth when we will want to give up. Our pain seems to have no end to it. In a sense, we are like the runner of a marathon on her twenty-fourth mile. She may think she cannot finish the race; she may lose her ability to see things as they are.

If she can remember previous successes, she will no doubt make the decision to go on, to at least give the race her best shot. It does not matter how may people come in before or after her. It matters only that she has not given up. When she crosses the finish line, the pain turns quickly into joy.

When we refuse to give up, we give ourselves an accomplishment we can rejoice in, the reward of knowing we have done our best.

What can I finish that I gave up on earlier?
Doing another 4th Step. Have always felt that if there is growth and change, a new inventory needs to be done.
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