Today's Thought - January

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January 1

Every ending is part of a beginning. Every loss is part of an emptiness that can be filled with newness.

~Jan Lloyd

The door that is closing today may fill us with dread; however, we can find relief when we recall other endings that unexpectedly led to new friendships, better jobs, wonderful opportunities.

Life is a process. Every event in our lives is connected to what has gone before and what will come after. There are no real endings; there are only new opportunities for growth and change. For most of us it's a matter of changing our perspective. The difference is subtle yet extremely powerful, and our lives will never feel the same.

I look forward to these twenty-four hours! I can be glad for everything that comes to me, trusting in its blessing.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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January 2

I have one request:
may I never use my reason against truth.

~Elie Wiesel

Honesty with ourselves is a great asset in every situation we confront. The skill to look reality square in the face and call it what it is takes us a good distance toward coping with it. However, many of us also have the skill to spin or rationalize our actions so that we don't have to face something unpleasant. That skill provides us with excuses and evasions, but it is the greatest betrayal of ourselves.

When we use our brain to cleverly cover the truth of our actions, we often believe our own lies, and then they keep us stuck. Just as dishonesty builds and grows on itself, so does honesty. We cannot one day decide to be honest and change in a flash because we don’t see all of our self-deceit yet. But we can make the decision to be as honest as we know how. Then we will soon be surprised by how much is revealed to us as the fog of our self-deceit lifts and our honesty builds on itself.

Today, I will strive to see reality as it is and not shape it to suit my ego’s desires.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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January 3

AA Thought for the Day

We're so glad to be free from liquor that we do something about it. We get into action. We come to meetings regularly. We go out and try to help other alcoholics. We pass on the good news whenever we get a chance. In a spirit of thankfulness to God, we get into action. The AA program is simple. Submit yourself to God, find release from liquor, and get into action. Do these things and keep doing them and you’re all set for the rest of your life. Have I gotten into action?
Meditation for the Day

God's eternal quest must be the tracking down of souls. You should join Him in His quest. Through briars, through wastes, through glades, up mountain heights, down into valleys. God leads you. But ever with His leadership goes your helping hand. It is glorious to follow where the Leader goes. You are seeking lost sheep. You are bringing the good news into places where it has not been known before. You may not know which soul you will help, but you can leave all results to God. Just go with Him in His eternal quest for souls.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may follow God in His eternal quest for souls. I pray that I may offer God my helping hand.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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January 4

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.

~Antoine de St. Exupéry

Where do tears come from? Perhaps each of us has a private well where the tears rise from. Each of has our own landscape of events that have hurt us or given us joy. And so we have our own private responses to the world around us. Something may hurt one of us that would not hurt another.

Like the oceans and rivers, sometimes our well of tears is flowing. We do not always understand all the forces affecting the oceans, or our well of tears.

The kind of bucket that draws water from a well is solid and durable, and it lowers itself deep enough to find water. Good friends and family members are like that. It is comforting to share our private well with such people.

Who will I invite to drink from my well today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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January 5

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

~Step Two

In Step One, we accept our powerlessness over alcohol and other drugs. But we are powerless over many parts of life. We are powerless over other people. We are powerless over what our Higher Power has planned for us.

The Second Step directs us to believe there is hope for us. It may take time to believe this. Many of us had given up hope. But look around. Hope fills our meeting rooms. We are surrounded by miracles. This "Power greater than ourselves" has healed many. Listen as others tell their stories. They speak of how powerful this Power is. At times, we will not want to believe. This is normal. But in recovery, coming to believe means opening ourselves up to healing power found in the program.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, allow me to believe. Help me stay open to recovery.
Action for the Day

I will list three examples of my past insanity. I will share these examples with my group, sponsor, a program friend, or with my Higher Power. I will remember that I'm a miracle.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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January 6

Behind an able man there are always other able men.

~Chinese proverb

Most of us have had a strong desire in our lives to "do it ourselves." We have had the idea that strength and independence meant we should not rely on or receive help from others. Now, in recovery, we are learning a far more mature and time-honored principle. We find strength to develop to our fullest as members of a community. Maybe we never learned how to ask for help. Perhaps we haven't learned yet how to accept it. It may still be difficult to express our gratitude for the help that brought us where we are today.

In recovery, we get many lessons about these things. If we are actively growing, we will get help from others and give it too. The rewards of recovery give us ample reasons and opportunities to express our gratitude. We are no longer loners. Now we have a network of friends who truly enjoy and enhance each other's strength.

Today, I pray for help in learning how to share my strength and to appreciate the strength of others.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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January 7

Choose Your Circle

In some recovery communities, there is a saying that goes something like "Stick with the winners." On one level, I get it - it's intended to guide people seeking recovery to hang out with people who are already "succeeding" in their recovery. However, I don't like the implication that there are winners and losers in recovery. Recovery isn't about judging other people's recovery. Anyone seeking or attempting recovery is worthy of respect and support, regardless of what they achieve (or don't) through their efforts.

I prefer to focus on the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who have positive energy. Positive energy is supportive, uplifting, inspiring, and contagious. Creating or joining a circle of woman-identifying individuals whose energy is positive doesn't mean those individuals are perfect, consistently happy, or high achievers in all things. Positive energy also includes energy that is warm, forgiving, and compassionate. You will find your circle of women who are all of these things because you are a woman who is all of these things. Your recovery energy will attract your recovery circle.

As we choose our support system, so too do we choose our energy.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

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January 8

Easy does it. Pushing does not help our program; it only causes more pressure within us. "If it doesn't work," we have thought, "get a bigger hammer." But if we only wait for the opportunity, we will be given the opportunity to work out each of our difficulties.

It is better to work out a problem by taking two steps forward and one step back, rather than to push and try to solve it at once, fail, and then stop trying. It helps to remember that we are never given more than we can handle, one day at a time.

Have I learned to take it easy?

Higher Power, I depend on you for my very breath. Help me realize that the more I depend on you, the more I accept your help, the more I can handle.

I will take it easy today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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January 9

My Takeaway and Excuse

Even before my first duty station, I showed up with a buddy, and we both must have smelled just like a brewery still. I think the drill sergeant made us do some push-ups and kind of laughed his head off and then, you know, told us to disappear.

I remember my takeaway from that was, Okay, so that means we can get away with it. I can get away with this. Even though the drinking age was twenty-one and I was still about eighteen, my alcohol use was laughed off instead of addressed head-on. I used that fact as an excuse to convince myself that it was all right to prioritize getting drunk over almost anything else.

On this day, I will stay accountable for my behavior and will not make excuses.

~Dennis D., U.S. Army, 1997–2003

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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January 10

Reflection for the Day

Every man and woman who has joined the program and intends to stick around has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn't it true that, in all matters related to their addictions, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of the program? So already a willingness has been achieved to cast out one's own will and one's own ideas about the addiction in favor of those suggested by the program. If this isn't turning one's will and life over to a newfound "Providence," then what is it? Have I had a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps?
Today I Pray

For myself, I pray for a life that is grounded and centered with my Higher Power. I thank my Higher Power often for the spiritual awakening I have felt since I turned my life over to it. May the words spiritual awakening be a clue to others that there is a free fund of spiritual power within each person. It must only be discovered.
Today I Will Remember

I will try to be Higher Power-centered.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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January 11

No decision has to bind us forever.

Most of us are no longer sure what we want to be doing a year or even a month from now. When we are called upon to make decisions that commit us to a certain path in the future, we shudder. Will we be allowed to change our minds?

What a change this is from earlier years. Many of us led very controlled lives. We felt safest when we knew exactly what we were going to do. We liked it best when we were able to control others' lives too, even though we failed at that much of the time.

Although we may have responsibilities at work and at home, we are so much freer now. And we can decide, moment by moment, what we need to do for ourselves. At first it feels irresponsible, not being responsible for everyone, changing our minds when we need to. However, we will grow into this new way of living. And we’ll love it!

My decisions today will be for this day only. I can change my mind tomorrow.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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January 12

We had developed a genuine relationship based on truth, not on the rules and roles that fathers and daughters were expected to play for each other.

~Stanley Siegel

Some of us have children in our lives. We may wonder when is the right time to come out to them or to let them know that we're in recovery. Shouldn’t we protect them from sensitive information that they may be too young to handle?

Who we are is apparent to those close to us. Children usually have an intuitive awareness of the truths that we may have taken elaborate pains to try to conceal, telling ourselves that we're doing so for their protection. There are no universal rules about how or when to come out to children and others in our lives; what’s appropriate varies from situation to situation. Often it's our own reluctance, rather than others' ability to hear and accept the truth, that keeps us from speaking.

When we speak the truth, we must be willing to listen to truthful responses. We can listen with understanding and acceptance even to negative reactions, knowing that what someone feels free to express can change. Rather than losing the people in our lives, we may be surprised to experience far greater honesty, trust, and closeness in our relationships than we had imagined possible.

Today, I have the courage to tell the truth in my relationships.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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January 13

Trusting Ourselves

Many of us believed that heeding the words of God or our Higher Power meant following rigid rules, an instruction booklet for life.

Many of us now believe differently. The rigid rules, the endless instructions, the exhortation to perfection, are not the words our Higher Power whispers.

The words of God are often those still, small words we call intuition or instinct, leading and guiding us forward.

We are free to be who we are, to listen to and trust ourselves. We are free to listen to the gentle, loving words of a Higher Power, words whispered to and through each of us.

Today, help me, God, to let go of shame-based rigid rules. I will choose the freedom of loving, listening, and trusting.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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January 14

Only those means of security are good, are certain, are lasting, that depend on yourself and your own vigor.

~Niccolò Machiavelli

What is our security based on? This is a vital, bottom-line question.

Security is a basic need of all humans. But as with all quests, if we look for the object of our search in an area where it cannot be found, we court certain frustration and failure.

Many would base their security on outside conditions. That is building our house on sand. Beauty passes, fame is fleeting, wealth can quickly evaporate, and health is fragile at best. What then is safe to count on?

Only one security cannot be taken away, and it resides within. Security based on our own belief in ourselves, in our ability not only to cope and survive, but to celebrate life is the only security that lasts. As hard as it may be for adult children to learn they can trust themselves, it still is the only lasting security.

My security rests on the gains I've made in the program. I've never had a stronger sense of self.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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January 15

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.

~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Hope and freedom and the right to dignity as a man are very personal things for every one of us in recovery. Regardless of our race or creed or ethnic origin, we are alike in that we are walking this healing path out of subjugation to addiction and codependency. Today is the birthday of a heroic man, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who dedicated his life not to his own self-interest, but to peace and the right of all people to be free. He spoke to all people who have struggled under a yoke of pain and trouble.

We must accept disappointments along our path. They are inevitable. We strive hard to achieve a goal, and it may slip from our fingers. We fall in love and lose the one we love. In the midst of disappointment, we may doubt whether we can handle it. But life goes on. We take our setbacks and ask, "What do I need to learn from this?" We don't lose sight of our long-term objective to become the best kind of man we can be and to live in line with our spiritual principles. That is the path to our personal freedom and dignity.

Today, I am grateful that those who have gone before us have shown us the path.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*