Today's Thought -May

[bluidkiti]

May 1

Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.

~Henry Ward Beecher

Once there was a boy who always looked on the bright side and always expected the best. He expected to like brussels sprouts before he had ever tasted them, for instance, and to like his teacher on the first day of school. Because he had such a sunny outlook on things, he was rarely disappointed.

One Christmas morning the boy and his brother awoke to find many presents. All except one small one were for the boy's brother. The brother opened his gifts with glee - a train set, a toy robot, a cowboy outfit, even his own TV.

Through all this, the boy smiled expectantly, confident the contents of his small box would equal the splendor of his brother's gifts. When it was his turn he ripped the box open to find only a pile of hay.

The boy clapped his hands with joy and ran immediately to the backyard. "Yippee!" he cried. "I got a pony."

If I expect the best, just for today, what wondrous things might happen?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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May 2

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

~Sydney J. Harris

Relaxing is one of the little joys of life. We can learn to take time from our busy day to chat with a friend, take a hot bath, or spend a few moments sitting alone under a tree. The busier we are, the more we need to take time to relax.

When we rest, we stop fussing about the outside world. We find out how we're doing inside. While relaxing, we can best listen to our Higher Power. Our minds calm down. We put busy thoughts aside. Sometimes, we can almost hear our Higher Power say, "Stay quiet and listen! I have something to tell you!"
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, remind me to relax. My spirit needs rest and quiet so I can hear You.
Action for the Day

Today I'll list five ways I like to relax. I'll do one of them today.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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May 3

"Honesty" without compassion and understanding is not honest, but subtle hostility.

~Rose N. Franzblau

Any good thing can be used in hurtful or destructive ways. Our entire recovery is based on a fundamental premise of honesty. But our honesty becomes distorted and hurtful when we are not in tune with our motivations. A man who contradicts other group members to feel superior rather than to be helpful is being hostile. If we criticize people about things they cannot change, we are only hurting them. In making amends, we should not approach people who are better off without our contact, or who are better off without our confessions.

As we grow, we encounter more parts of ourselves that may be hurtful. We need to accept those parts too, not condemn ourselves for being human, not hide our destructive impulses from ourselves. Then our honesty with ourselves and with others will not be tainted by dishonest motives.

I pray for honesty with myself first so my honesty with others will be pure.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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May 4

Helping others

We have been given so much help in our addiction through countless other people who have searched for a solution. If others hadn't searched and found, who would have been there to offer us a helping hand? The ones who come after us can help us best by letting us help them.

Newcomers are a constant reminder and source of joy to us. We're on this path together, and we should never forget to be grateful for our fellow addicts.

Do I help others?

Higher Power, help me always to be grateful to the ones who have helped me, and help me offer my hand to others.

Today I will help my fellow addicts by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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May 5

Finding Your Spiritual Way

Today I surround myself with my spiritual recovery people. Some live near me, and I'm also the veteran liaison at a farm that has equine-assisted psychotherapy. The farm's founder is also in recovery, so I always have somebody I can check in with if I’m having a hard day. I’m not doing it alone, and I have a spiritual depth I never had before.

I used to live in fear of getting drunk. But I found that if I live the spiritual principles, live a life of service, look honestly at my own mistakes, and make amends when I need to, I can live a good life. A sober life. And I'm living a good life now.

I also do meditation and I journal. And I ask my Higher Power for help when I need to. I'm not as impulsive as I used to be. If I don't know what to do, I'll wait for an answer. And if I screw up, I can find a way to own my side of it and move on.

At long last, my insides finally match my outsides.

Today I will not live in fear, because I know I do not walk the recovery path alone.

~Deb L., U.S. Army, 1981–1996

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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May 6

Reflection for the Day

As I grow in recovery - sharing, caring, and becoming more and more active - I find that it's becoming easier to live in the Now. Even my vocabulary is changing. No longer is every other sentence salted with such well-used words as could've, should've, would've, might've. What's done is done, and what will be will be. The only time that really matters is Now. Am I gaining real pleasure and serenity and peace?
Today I Pray

I pray that I may collect all my scattered memories from the past and high-flown schemes and overblown fears for the future and compact them into the neater confines of Today. Only by living in the Now may I keep my balance, without bending backward to the past or tipping forward into the future. May I stop trying to get my arms around my whole unwieldy lifetime and carry it around with me wherever I go.
Today I Will Remember

Make room for today.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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May 7

Guilt keeps us stuck.

Who doesn't have some guilt? Surely no one we know has been "good" all the time. It's human to make mistakes and hurt others in the process. On occasion, we have even intentionally harmed someone. We can't undo the past. What's done is done. However, we can get free of the inhibiting shadow it casts over our lives today if we use the tools of this program of recovery.

The first step in shedding our guilt is to admit to ourselves that some of the things we have done are wrong. The next step is harder. We need to admit our wrongdoing to the one we have harmed and ask for his or her forgiveness. This can be made easier if we remember to bring along our Higher Power.

Why is all this necessary? As long as we have wounds in our relationships, we won't be able to see all the possibilities for growth and change that beckon us today. Our guilt keeps us stuck in the past, and it's the present that promises us the happiness we desire.

How are my relationships today? Do any feel tense because of my past behavior? If I really want to get the most from what today offers, I need to mend the past. With God's help I can.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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May 8

Once you'd get there you'd remember and love me - of course I'd be gone by then - I'd be far away.

~May Swenson

It's easy to feel inadequately loved by others if we're withholding love from ourselves. Yearning and waiting for understanding to come from outside sources can only bring disappointment. When we place ourselves in a dependent position, we perpetuate our feelings of helplessness and resentment. Having rejected ourselves, we're not surprised when we're rejected by others. And of course we find it hard to give others what we ourselves most crave. We're trapped in a cycle of scarcity and withholding.

It's wonderful to receive validation from others, but we need our own validation most of all. We need to become experts at showering ourselves with unconditional love. The more we love and approve of ourselves, the more we'll find our attitude mirrored by those around us. We'll be able to receive the abundance of love that has been here waiting for us all along.

Today, I offer myself the love I've been waiting for.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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May 9

Sometimes we'll take a few steps backward. That's okay too. Sometimes it's necessary. Sometimes it's part of going forward.

~Codependent No More

Life is a Gentle Teacher. She wants to help us learn. The lessons she wants to teach us are the ones we need to learn. Some say they are the lessons we chose to learn before we were born. Others say they are the lessons that were chosen for us.

It's frustrating to be in the midst of learning. It is like sitting in algebra class, listening to a teacher explain a subject beyond our comprehension. We do not understand, but the teacher takes the understanding for granted.

It may feel like someone is torturing us with messages that we shall never understand. We strain and strain. We become angry. Frustrated. Confused. Finally, in despair, we turn away, deciding that that formula will never be available to our mind.

Later, while taking a quiet walk, we break through. Quietly, the gift of understanding has reached that deepest place in us. We understand. We have learned. The next day in class, it’s hard for us to imagine not knowing. It is hard to remember the frustration and confusion of those who have not yet caught on. It seems so easy … now.

Life is a Gentle Teacher. She will keep repeating the lesson until we learn. It is okay to become frustrated. Confused. Angry. Sometimes it is okay to despair. Then, it is okay to walk away and allow the breakthrough to come. It shall.

Help me remember that frustration and confusion usually precede growth. If my situation is challenging me, it is because I'm learning something new, rising to a higher level of understanding. Help me be grateful, even in my frustration, that life is an exciting progression of lessons.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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May 10

Loneliness is the first thing which God's eye nam'd not good.

~John Milton

Loneliness is a dominant fact of life for many people. It is also a consequence - it is caused. Regardless of the reasons behind our feelings and actions of loneliness and withdrawal, no matter how valid and compelling those reasons may be, if we give the loneliness ball a push, it's going to start rolling. If we withdraw from company or make it difficult for people to get to know us, that behavior will cause loneliness. If we habitually wear an aloof, unapproachable expression, we will not be approached. What we do (or don't do) determines what we get. And like any habit, behaviors that serve to isolate us come to feel normal, even inevitable, over time.

As long as we're alive, we're capable of building bridges between ourselves and others. Chronic loneliness doesn't have to be a fact of life. If we're willing to work at it, we can learn to reach out, make contact, and be comfortable in the company of our fellows.

Today, I will be the first to greet others and say a kind word.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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May 11

It's when we're given choice that we sit with the gods and design ourselves.

~Dorothy Gilman

Some of us addicts have dangerous ideas about freedom. Like everybody else, we want it. That is not the problem. The problem is that we don't really understand what freedom is and how it works.

Freedom means we can make choices about our own behavior. It doesn't mean we can control other people. It doesn't mean we can escape the consequences of our behavior. It doesn't mean that we can do whatever we want and things will turn out the way we want.

Our choices and our behaviors have consequences. That's the part we hated when we were using. When we make a choice, we are using our freedom, and we will get the consequences of that choice, whether we like it or not. Good choices usually result in good consequences. Bad choices usually result in bad consequences.

How can we use our freedom to get the good consequences in life? By working the Steps and listening to the advice of people who have what we want.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank you for the freedom I have had all my life. Thank you for the freedom I have now. Help me take your advice on how to use it.
Today's Action

Today I will think about my choices and their consequences.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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May 12

Come, Love! Sing on! Let me hear you sing this song - sing for joy and laugh.

~Mechthild of Magdeburg

We have all known people whose lightness of spirit was a delight to us. That quality of "lightness" was expressed by one recovering addict in a dream she had where she floated to the ceiling of her room like a balloon. Letting go of our will and ego is a spiritual process that happens gradually. It results in a lightness that brings freedom to our lives and joy to others.

We can know we have lightened up if we see the humor in life. If we feel serene and don't care about having things our own way, we live with ease. Another person expressed it like this: "I was outside blowing bubbles with my daughter when I said, 'Look how they catch the light. The light is already there, all around, but it needs the bubbles to be seen.'"

I am the bubble; God is the light. To have a light spirit is to have a transparency that enables the spiritual to become visible.

Where is my spirituality? Am I in the realm of light? Today I will let myself go to my Higher Power.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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May 13

Expect a Miracle

Don't quit five minutes before the miracle happens.

~Anonymous

When we came into the program, most of us had very little to show for our lives. We believed in nothing. We had experienced great disappointments. The greedy creditor that was our addiction had stripped away everything of meaning to us. We were left with nothing but pain and misery.

Now we hear incredible stories of recovery. People tell how, by following certain simple instructions and honestly working a program, they were freed from the grasp of their addiction.

Every once in a while we hear a story that sounds remarkably like our own. We are told that through work and the help of a Higher Power, we, too, can receive a miracle.

The most important miracle I can expect and count on each day is the freedom from my addiction. I can trust that if I stay close to the program, the miracle will be repeated, one day at a time.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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May 14

Two new beings are brought forth during childbirth: a newborn and a mother.

~Anne Marie Nelson

Whether or not we have given birth to a child, we can certainly appreciate the miracle. The opportunity that we now have to give birth to a new self through recovery is comparable.

It is empowering to realize that we can create, or rather re-create, ourselves through the help of this detailed yet simple program. Who could have imagined that we, while in the midst of a chaotic, drug-infested world, were capable of taking on a new persona, becoming a new woman? But here we are, charting a new course for our lives. Just as women need and deserve assistance in childbirth, we can rely on the help and guidance of other women who, like us, seek to sustain their rebirth. Together we will bring new women into this world, women who are eager to make a healthy difference in the lives of others.

I have the tools to create whoever I want to be. I am an artist at work.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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May 15

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.

~Samuel Johnson

The Twelve Steps won't work for anyone unless they are practiced. That's why so many veterans of this program work the Steps over and over. It's a good habit, and good habits - just like bad ones - strengthen with use and time.

Prayer is an important part of this program that becomes as regular as habit, and it’s a habit worth getting into. Communing with God at a similar time, or times, every day brings us power for daily living and provides us with a spiritual reserve. Daily contact with our Higher Power gives us special insights into our own actions and helps us look with love on those around us.

Today I will strive to make prayer a habit.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*