The Forgiveness Process

[MajestyJo]

• The Stepping Stones to Forgiveness
  Be open to the possibility of changing your beliefs
  about forgiveness. Recognize that forgiveness is an
  act of strength, not weakness.
  
  Be willing to let go of being a victim. Choose to
  believe that holding on to grievances and unforgiving
  thoughts is choosing to suffer. Find no value in self-pity.
  
  Remind yourself that your anger and judgments
  can’t change the past or punish someone else, but
  they can hurt you. The events of the past cannot hurt
  you now, but your thoughts about the past can cause
  you immense distress and pain. Recognize that any
  emotional pain you feel this moment is caused only
  by your own thoughts.
  
  See the value of giving up, not some, but all of your
  judgments. It is no coincidence that the happiest people
  are those who choose not to judge and know the value
  of forgiveness.
  
  Recognize that holding on to anger will not bring you
  what your truly want. Ask yourself this question, " Does
  holding on to my justified anger really bring me peace
  of mind?" Anger and peace; judgment and happiness
  do not occur at the same time.
  
  See that there is no value in punishing yourself.
  Once you truly recognize that your angry, unhappy
  thoughts about the past are poisoning your life, you
  will embrace forgiveness and know the meaning of
  love.
  
  Believe that forgiveness means giving up all hope
  for a better past! Accept your past, forgive your past,
  and embrace the present and future with hope! There
  is no law forcing you to remain a victim of the past.
  
  Choose to be happy rather than right. When we
  stop trying to control others and focus instead on our
  own thoughts, we give ourselves the gift of freedom
  and peace.
  
  Believe that you have the power to choose the
  thoughts you put into your mind. Perhaps the greatest
  gift we have been given is the power to choose loving
  thoughts rather than angry ones. Your mind is not a
  dumpster that will remain unaffected by the trash you
  put into it. Treat it like a garden and it will blossom.
  
  Be willing to make peace of mind your only goal
  and believe that forgiveness is the key to happiness.
  Regardless of the chaos around us, we can know peace
  if that is our single goal. Choose not to let outside
  circumstances or people decide whether you will be
  happy. Anger, judgments and unforgiving thoughts
  make suffer, and releasing them brings us joy. It truly
  is that simple!

[MajestyJo]

If you can't forgive and forget, pick one.

~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Like this. Forgiveness has been an ongoing thing for me, especially when it comes to my part in my son's life which led him to the path of his own addiction. He made his choices as I did mine and yet there is a part of me that has trouble letting it all go and forgiving myself.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

~Paul Boese

[MajestyJo]

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven.
--Thomas Fuller

We have all seen adventure movies in which the heroes or villains are caught on a bridge that collapses. As they fall to whatever lies below, they are perhaps able to climb to one side or the other. But for the time being, their ability to cross between the two sides is gone.

When we have been hurt by people in our lives, or when we have hurt others, mutual forgiveness is needed in order to rebuild the trust between us. It is very much like rebuilding a bridge - one piece at a time. We take cautious steps at first - testing the safety and strength of our bridge.

When two people have become separated by loss or anger, it is forgiveness that can rebuild the bridge between them. Forgiveness needs time and so does the rebuilding of trust.

Today's Gift from Anonymous

www.inspiringthots.net/movie/forgiveness.php

[MajestyJo]

We will sabotage ourselves if we don't believe we deserve success.

Maybe we could try a different approach - stop torturing ourselves for the things we have done wrong and then try forgiveness instead. We can make amends by doing service work – a way of keeping that self-sabotaging guilt at bay.

Sometimes people don't know how to directly ask for forgiveness, but their behaviors will tell us that's what they're saying. Whenever somebody asks for forgiveness, whenever we have a list of resentments, whenever we've done something wrong, it's a good time to start making things right.

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

The forgiveness process:

virtuouscycles.blogspot.ca/2009/09/forgiveness-process.html