Today's Thought - October

[bluidkiti]

October 1

THE EVOLVING RELATIONSHIP

.... open up to hope and new possibilities...

Some mornings we may awaken filled with thoughts of what is wrong in our lives. Perhaps we obsess about our failures or the limits of our relationships. If we let ourselves sink into self-loathing, we build a wall that separates us from those things that nurture us and give us joy.

When we awaken to the living and growing world, our spirits lift and open up to hope and new possibilities. Walking along an old sidewalk or across an abandoned parking lot, we see cracks in the concrete or asphalt and new green growth pushing through. Where there is enough soil to hold a seed, there is the possibility of a tree someday. The universe seizes opportunities for renewal that slip through the slightest opening. There is always hope for renewal in our relationships when we are willing to plant the seeds and feed them so they can grow.

Name an experience that has shown you the seeds for new growth.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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October 2

The seed of God is in us. Pear seeds grow into pear trees, nut seeds into nut trees, and God seeds into God.
--Meister Eckhart

Often we may feel critical and judgmental about our maturity or personality. When we read we have God seeds within us, we may find that difficult to believe. How can we have the God seeds within us that other people have? It may seem everyone else has more good within them than we have.

Just as we admire certain qualities about other people, so can we admire qualities about ourselves. We need to remember a good critic looks at both the good and the bad. A good critic doesn't pass judgment, but merely assembles the facts to allow others to make judgments.

The seeds that grow pear trees don't yield perfect trees. Some of the fruit is ripe and juicy, some is hard and dry, some fruit never matures. Yet the pear tree will be a good tree if it's tended with care. So it is with us. Every part of us may not be perfect, but with care we can make the best person possible from the God seed that began us.

I can be a healthy, bountiful person if I give myself plenty of care. I won't give up on me.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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October 3

The lust of power is not rooted in strength, but in weakness.
--Erich Fromm

We believed alcohol or other drugs could help us control our happiness. But now we're learning to rely on faith for our happiness. Faith is about leaving things to our Higher Power's control. Instead of wanting the control ourselves, we trust our Higher Power will help us handle things that come along.

In recovery, we work at having more faith. Faith in a Higher Power. Faith in the Steps. Faith in our groups. Faith that our lives will get better if we don't use chemicals and we work an honest recovery program. Faith makes life a lot easier.

Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, surround me with Your love. Give me strength to do hard things. Give me faith to know that I'm not alone.

Action for the Day
Today, I'll notice how I still want to be in control. I'll remind myself that it's okay to Let Go and Let God.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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October 4

The divided self exists in all of us.
--Marie Lindquist

One gift of sobriety is the growing awareness that we are complex, whole individuals, more than just our dark side. Defeated, we came into this program of recovery certain that our lives would be forever fraught with problems. Little in our experience made us proud. Surviving our hateful, painful, and confusing lives was our proudest achievement.

The moment we admit our powerlessness over our drug of choice and over other people, a fresh start commences. Becoming willing to let a Higher Power influence our lives gives us a chance to glimpse the brighter side of our being. We discover it was there all the time.

We'll always have both sides, the dark and the light. We're human. Nevertheless, we tend to strengthen the part of our self that calls to us loudest. Which side we hear is up to us.

I am a complex human being. I have the next 24 hours to live as I choose.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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October 5

Look, the wind vane fluttering in the autumn breeze
Takes hold of certain things that cannot be held.
--Feng Chih

When we think we are losing our grip, we have good reason to look up. Consider the moon suspended in the sky, how it continues to come and go, follows its natural law, and never really loses face. Consider the sun, the stars, the seasons, how they refuse to abandon us, to let go of their hold on our lives. And, come closer to home, we can marvel at the magic of small efficient things - the toaster and stove, the light in the room, the words in a good book that are permanent, faithful, and clear. We can consider how music, without saying a word, still speaks to us, and how a few friends, maybe miles away, continue to hang on to the strength of our small and faithful words.

We can keep in mind that we are part of a complex and loving system, and our grip can never be lost.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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October 6

Self importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
--Carlos Castaneda

Were we offended by someone yesterday? Do we harbor resentment for remarks, oversights, or unpleasant mannerisms? Do we feel tense or uneasy about how someone else has treated us? We can probably make a good case to justify our reactions. Perhaps we are in the right and they are in the wrong.

Yet, even if we are justified, it doesn't matter. We may be puffing ourselves up and wasting energy. When we are oversensitive, we take a self-righteous position which leads us far from our path of spiritual awakening. Our strength is diminished.

How much better it is to let go of the lightness, let go of our grandiosity, and accept the imperfections in others. We need to accept our own imperfections too. When we do, we are better for it, and our strength and energy can be focused on richer goals.

I will accept others' imperfections; I do not need to be right.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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October 7

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without also helping himself.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

When Albert Schweitzer said, "The only ones of you who will be truly happy are those who have found and learned how to serve," he was stating an ancient truth - that the meaning of life lies in giving. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to your willingness to give.

In the classic movie "It's a Wonderful Life," George Bailey discovered this truth. Though he had many opportunities to pursue his ambitions elsewhere, George remained in his community and dedicated himself to providing affordable housing to its members. When his guardian angel showed him what the town would be like if he had never been born, Bailey realized how much of a difference his giving had made.

George also discovered another secret - that what you give is what you receive. Whatever you give out comes back to you. When you extend yourself to nurture the spiritual growth of another, you nurture your own growth. Although his material possessions were modest, George Bailey was toasted the "richest" (i.e., the most beloved) man in town by the people of Bedford Falls. Later he remarked, "No man can be poor as long as he has friends."

Bailey gave of himself for the joy of giving, and joy is what he received. By following this path, we, too, can be blessed.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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October 8

Willing to Make Amends

The Eighth Step is talking about a change of heart, a healing change.

This attitude can begin a great chain of repair and healing in our relationships with others and ourselves. It means we become willing to let go of our hard heartedness - one of the greatest blocks to our ability to give and receive love.

In the Eighth Step, we make a list of all people we have harmed, and we allow ourselves to experience a healing attitude toward them. It is an attitude of love.

We do not, in this Step, dash madly about and begin yelling, "Sorry!" We make our list, not to feel guilty, but to facilitate healing. Before we actually make amends or begin to consider appropriate amends, we allow ourselves to change our attitude. That is where healing begins - within us.

It can change the energy. It can change the dynamics. It can begin the process, before we ever open our mouths and say sorry.

It opens the door to love. It opens the door to the energy of love and healing. It enables us to release negative feelings and energy, and opens the door to positive feelings and energy.

That energy can be felt around the world, and it starts inside us.

How often have we, after we have been hurt, wished that the person would simply recognize our pain and say, "I'm sorry?" How often have we wished that the person would simply see us, hear us, and turn the energy of love our way? How often have we longed for at least a change of heart, a small dose of reconciliation, in relationships tainted by unfinished business and bad feelings? Often, others do too. It is no secret. The energy of healing begins with us. Our willingness to make amends may or may not benefit the other person; he or she may or may not be willing to put matters to rest.

But we become healed. We become capable of love.

Today, I will work on a change of heart if hard-heartedness, defensiveness, guilt, or bitterness are present. I will become willing to let go of those feelings and have them replaced by the healing energy of love.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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October 9

I like not only to be loved, but also to be told that I am loved . . . the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave.
--George Eliot

We've all heard many times that we must love ourselves if we're ever to love another. Too often we mistakenly think that means we shouldn't need to hear someone's affirmation of love. That assumption is wrong. Praise from others builds our self-confidence, keeps us on track, aware of how we're presenting ourselves moment by moment.

But many of us didn't develop healthy egos in our youth because we didn't get feedback that affirmed us. We didn't hear we were loved. As adults, we're scrambling to feel confident, to feel sure of our direction and our value to society. And we're hoping to hear we're loved. We can be certain someone close will be helped by hearing our words of love.

There's no time like the present for sharing love.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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October 10

To the rationally minded, the mental processes of the intuitive appear to work backward. His conclusions are reached before his premises.
--Frances Wickes

Intuition is a valuable form of wisdom that often seems mystical. We lose our keys and can't find them in any of the usual places and then an idea pops into our mind about where to find them. Only after the fact can we explain – maybe – why that spot came to mind. That's intuition. Or, on a higher plane, we have a feeling that a certain choice in our life would be a big mistake, or one day, for no clear reason, we expect our partner to tell us something important.

The wisdom of our intuition deserves our great respect. It is a valuable guide. Even though it is not 100 percent accurate, and we cannot expect it to be, we should not violate ourselves by contradicting it. Instead, we grow by developing our intuition, listening to what we imagine and what we feel, and following our instincts. Intuition is another form of spiritual strength.

Today I will listen to my inner feelings about things, even when I don't immediately understand them rationally.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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October 11

If you want to be found, stand where the seeker seeks.
--Sidney Lanier

When does a good program turn into a bad program? When it becomes a hiding place. As adult children, we are good – no, ingenious – at finding hiding places.

Sometimes we hide behind our work by staying super busy. We hide in prayer itself – behind sweet-sounding words. We can choose to always be tired so we can hide in sleep. We can hide behind any of the "helper" roles by fixing others so we never have to fix ourselves. We can even make our program a hiding place by going through the motions, saying all the right things, but never really encountering ourselves.

If we want to be found, we have to come out where somebody can find us.

I will identify my hiding places and make conscious decisions about choosing them or not.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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October 12

Communicating

He said, "Let's go to the movies when we're done with our work." She said, "That's a great idea!" But when the work that she had in mind was finished, he still had several tasks that remained undone. So they got into a dispute. It was not a disagreement, it was a misunderstanding.

Another day, she said she was frightened about an upcoming visit to her doctor. Actually, she felt overwhelmed with fear and was trying hard to keep herself under control. But on the outside, she looked controlled, so he thought she was only a little afraid. She felt hurt and neglected because he seemed insensitive to her great fear.

What one means and thinks on the inside will never be exactly what one shows in words and feelings on the outside. We naturally long to be understood. But in adult relationships we have to expect differences between what is meant and what is said. This has nothing to do with honesty or how much two people love each other. What seems obvious to one partner on the inside is not necessarily obvious to the other partner on the outside.

Recall a time when your words did not convey your whole meaning.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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October 13

Children do not know how their parents love them, and they never will till the grave closes over those parents, or till they have children of their own.
--Edmund Vance Cooks

As adults, we may feel we were cheated out of a "normal" childhood because of our parents' emotional, physical, or spiritual failings. We may think they should never be forgiven for their actions or inactions when we were young.

Yet imagine what our lives would be like today if we did not forgive. We would be bitter, stomping angrily through life with a clipboard in hand, ready to write down the name of the next person who crosses us. It's time to throw away the clipboard and the names on it - including the names of our parents.

The program teaches us to love those who come into our lives, even if we don't like them. It teaches us forgiveness through our Higher Power. We do not have to like our parents, but we can love them. By the same token, we need to realize our parents love us in their special way. They aren't perfect - and neither are we.

Help me remember my parents did the best they could with what they had. That's all anyone can really do.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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October 14

Simplicity and greatness go together.
-- Monty Cralley

We have probably heard the phrase Keep It Simple thousands of times. It's possible we are mystified by it, even yet. So many things in life have seemed complicated: getting an education, starting a new job, advising children and friends. Not many things can be pursued without careful consideration. When we have approached situations carelessly, we have often blundered badly.

Keeping it simple means doing only the next right thing, not a sequence of fourteen things all at once. To keep something simple means to focus on only a tiny bit of the problem at a time. If we employ a little hindsight, we'll quickly recall how many situations began to improve as we attended to just a portion of them.

God never gives us more than we can handle. How many times have we heard that? It means we'll always be shown the way to handle something little by little, very simply, in exactly the order we need the information. Don't we see this is how it has always been? Why would it change now?

Today I need to listen. I don't need to figure out all my problems at once.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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October 15

It is the act of forgiveness that opens up the only possible way to think creatively about the future at all.
-- Father Desmond Wilson

Today is full of endless possibilities and dreams. In many cases, we are limited only by our fear and lack of hope, in others and ourselves. Each new day we are given a clean page to live in our book of life.

What freedom we find when we choose to practice the art of forgiveness. Forgiving others and ourselves will allow us to step into this new day as free human beings. What can really hurt us in the present if we have the key to daily forgiveness? What could our friend, boss, or enemy possibly say that would be worth the emotional price of on-going resentment?

Freedom is a gift we give ourselves every time we choose not to react to a hurtful comment. Holding on to old resentments keeps our creative energy trapped and stifled. Our choices are these: new freedom or old resentment. We choose new freedom. It is the gift we give ourselves when we choose not to let the sun rise on yesterday's script.

Today let me forgive everyone and anything - past and present - that might distract me from my spiritual growth.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous