The act of forgiveness

[krafty]

There are no mistakes.

The act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person.

When we blame another, we give our power away because we’re placing the responsibility for our feelings on someone else. People in our lives may behave in ways that trigger uncomfortable responses in us. However, they didn’t get into our minds and create the buttons that have been pushed. Taking responsibility for our own feelings and reactions is mastering our “ability to respond.” In other words, we learn to consciously choose rather than simply react.

We can’t talk about resentment without also talking about forgiveness. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that we condone their behavior. The act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person. The reality of true forgiveness lies in setting ourselves free from holding on to the pain. It’s simply an act of releasing ourselves from the negative energy.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the painful behaviors or actions of another to continue in your life. Sometimes, forgiveness means letting go. You forgive them and release them. Taking a stand and setting healthy boundaries are often the most loving things you can do—not only for yourself, but for the other person as well.

I truly believe that there are no mistakes. When our hearts are closed and we feel resentment and anger and sadness, it’s hard to see anything good. Yet when our hearts are open, it’s as if so much of that negativity disappears and we’re able to release these old thoughts and reawaken to joy. For each of us, there’s always joy inside. And we need to know how very perfect we are as we are.

No matter how much chaos may be going on around us, no matter how many things may be going wrong or not the way we want them to, no matter what our bodies may be doing at the moment—we can love and accept ourselves. For the truth of us—the very truth of our being—is that we’re eternal. We have always been and we always will be. And that part of ourselves goes on forever. Rejoice that this is so. As we love and accept ourselves exactly as we are, it makes it easier to go through the so-called difficult times. We’re no longer fighting ourselves. We’re accepting. We’re becoming tender. We’re cherishing ourselves. We’re comforting ourselves and making it easier for ourselves.

See yourself standing in front of a mirror looking into your own eyes and saying, I love and accept you exactly as you are. And breathe. Just let yourself feel what you’re feeling. You don’t have to be perfect. You’re already perfect as you are: You are you. You’re exactly what you’ve chosen to be in this lifetime. Of all the bodies and all the personalities that were available, you chose to be who you are—to experience this world, this lifetime, through your body, through your personality. So love your choice, for it is part of your spiritual evolution.
Louise L. Hay

[MajestyJo]

No one hurt me more than I hurt myself. I had to do an inventory and get honest instead of blaming everything on others.

It was, so my ex-husband hit me, tried to choke me, put me through a wall and leave the imprint of my body in the plaster. along with the mental and emotional abuse; I did harm to myself, just for choosing to staying there and accepting it, by fearing I didn't deserve better, by fearing that I couldn't do things on my own, by choosing to play the victim and the martyr. Being the scapegoat by taking all the blame onto myself, for their issues as well as mine. I can remember my mother saying when I was a child, "Look at what you made me do." I did not know that I didn't have the power.

I took on so much guilt and responsibility, that wasn't mine to take on. To help forgive myself, I had to take an inventory of what was mine and what was not mine to take on. So much of it was false.