Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - October

[bluidkiti]

October 1

Step by Step

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." - Step 11, Alcoholics Anonymous

Today, whether I have embraced the a higher power or am skeptical either as an atheist or agnostic, Step 11 suggests that I be at least open to the possibility of something greater and stronger than myself. I must also seek the will and way of something other than my own. This is the definition of humility - to be open to learning and carrying out the will of a power stronger and wiser than me. I cannot be reminded or jolted enough that history has proven time and again that running my life on my terms has always led to the same disastrous results and outcome; thus, the insanity of alcoholism. Today, I remember that I am dependent on a wiser and stronger power to guide me on a non-destructive course and that I am risking a slip or relapse if I forget that it hasn't worked my way. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PINK CLOUDS

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will create the fact.

~ William James ~

Nearly all of us refer at some time to being on a "honeymoon of recovery." Whether we call it a "honeymoon” or "being on a pink cloud," the experience is the same. The recovery honeymoon is a natural state of well-being after we "get the monkey off our backs."

The sensation of living on a pink cloud never has to leave us, but we can only keep it by moving into positive action and working our Program. This is a time of being physically, emotionally, and spiritually at peace with society and ourselves. It has been described as a time of joy that makes us feel we are climbing out of darkness into light. Like other miracles of recovery, pink clouds are reality, not fantasy.

I can keep living on my "pink cloud" of recovery if I keep working at it and practicing gratitude and humility.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

~ Albert Einstein ~

In following the healing way, we open ourselves to truths that can never be established as concrete facts. Some of us have always been comfortable with a spiritual outlook. But some of us were hurt by damaging or even abusive experiences in religious institutions and gave up on them as meaningless. Now we all come together on a path that takes a very wide view of spirituality while making spiritual ideas central.

It is reassuring to learn that one of the greatest scientists of all time had a firm respect for realities that could not be pointed to or quantified. He excelled in the practical, objective world of science and he also knew about spiritual truth. Now we, too, are learning how our spiritual life creates miracles we could not bring about by the force of our will.

Today I am grateful to be tuned in to those forces that are outside objective, concrete reality.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

As our spirituality grows and changes, we can allow our image of God to change.

~ Ruth Schweitzer-Mordecai ~

As children we may have pictured God as a man with long hair, a beard, and flowing robes. For some of us, that image may still be the most comfortable. As adults, however, we have the freedom to define God however we wish. Hearing our sisters share their perceptions of a Higher Power has given us the courage to create whoever we need.

God may not even be an image some days, but only a feeling. The brilliant light reflecting off the drops of morning dew, the delicate hum of the hungry hummingbird, or the radiance of an American Beauty rose may whisper of the presence of God. A passage we read in a time-worn book may also remind us of God’s reality. Whether it’s a feeling, a few words, a specific image, or a profound experience, God will be as real in our lives as we are willing to allow.

The more I believe in God today, the easier will be my journey. I am not alone. The presence is always with me.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am becoming more responsible

Once a week I agreed to check in with my clinic and get a urine screen. I agreed to go to at least three meetings each week. I agreed to check in with my sponsor every day. I realize these are important, useful commitments, but I feel controlled; I feel as though I am unworthy of trust.

On the other hand, can I really be trusted these days? In the past I have promised to stay sober and then got high, promised to take my meds and then failed to even fill the prescription. It is hard to own up to, but maybe I need this structure for a while. And following through on these commitments will help me earn trust. Even though I resent it now it may well help me to recover.

Today I will practice doing what I say I'm going to do. I will check in with my sponsor and take my (prescribed) medication.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

If there is one thing we all can drop, it is criticism....
If we come to a place of acceptance and self-love,
it is easier to make changes.

~ Louise Hay ~

Virginia Satir once said, “You don’t help anybody by scolding them.” Criticism is a sharp weapon that we have used against ourselves and probably against others, sometimes with severe consequences. When it is constructive and offered with sensitivity, grace, and dignity, then criticism may be helpful, but not otherwise.

Most of us are our own sternest critics. To have someone else line up our “bad” qualities and march them before us only shames us more as it breaks our spirits and closes our ears. When we treat others this way, we’re left feeling mean-spirited and lonely.

But we can let go. The more we work on loving and affirming ourselves and others, the better we are able to give and accept constructive criticism. Each thing we learn how to cherish in ourselves helps us see and be thankful for the beauty around us.

Today let me be only a bearer of loving criticism and gentle suggestions.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.

~ George Eliot ~

If everything in life were easy, then everyone would be a success. Each of us has a certain set of skills, talents, and abilities. It is up to us to develop our strengths anti to strive, to the best of our ability, to utilize these assets, yet you may be someone who has created limitations anti built imaginary ceilings in your life. Rather than move beyond these self-erected barriers, you may find comfort in hiding behind them. Until you challenge yourself— even in small ways—you will never know what you are capable of achieving.

You can learn how to extend the boundaries of your limitations by first making a list of all of those things you would like to do or learn. Then write down why you have not taken action to make these things happen. The first list expresses your desires; the second list conveys the roadblocks that are preventing you from achieving your desires.

Review your lists, and then select one desire you would like to pursue. Take actions that will help you move beyond the roadblock, and you may be surprised at what you really can do.

Today I will take action to move beyond my limitations.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There seemed to be endless obstacles preventing me from living with my eyes open, but as I gradually followed up clue after clue it seemed that the root cause of them all was fear.

~ Joanna Field ~

How often have we complained that we would be able to do something if only another thing weren't preventing us. "I can't” is our answer when we look around us and see only potential obstacles to accomplishing something. We need to realize, however, that "I can't" is just another way of saying "I fear."

If we took away our fearfulness, think of all we could do. There would be nothing to prevent us from taking risks, trying new things, going new places, becoming more intimate, changing careers, going back to school, taking a Fourth Step inventory, chairing a meeting, or sponsoring a newcomer.

We can change our response of "I can't” to "I'll try." We can take the first step away from our fear toward trying something new. There are no obstacles in our path—only the ones we put there to protect us from things we fear.

Higher Power, help me take the steps to change from "I can't" to "I can."

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Learning about love

Being straight, we are discovering the joys of love. Just as our old ideas about living had to change, our old ideas about love have to change. Love can’t always be measured by self-sacrifice or generosity. We can self- sacrifice ourselves into martyrdom or generosity ourselves into directing and man-aging others’ lives.

Love doesn’t stipulate or limit. Does our Higher Power limit us? It loves us so much that it lets us go over the limit—to the point where we destroy ourselves. Few of us know much about the true nature of love, but when we are ready, our Higher Power reveals itself to us and shows us about love.

Have I learned all about love?

May I know with all my heart that my Higher Power is love.

Today I will make myself ready to learn about love by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it.
Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.

~ CHIEF SEATTLE ~

Newcomer

I've been looking at the Tenth Step, and I'm intimidated by the way it sounds. Isn't all this emphasis on being "wrong" a way of beating ourselves up?

Sponsor

I agree with you that gentleness with ourselves is a good policy in recovery. But we can be both gentle and honest at the same time: they're not opposites. We can't grow if we're not willing to look honestly at our actions and at their consequences.

Whether in professional or personal relationships, we ourselves don't like dealing with people who can't be depended on to do what they've promised. We don't like selfishness or dishonesty in others. Why, then, should we gloss over these traits in ourselves?

In recovery, we're in the process of developing deeper, more intimate relationships with ourselves. As in our relationships with other human beings, we need to be willing to see clearly and to acknowledge what isn't having a good effect on us or on others.

I step back and take an honest look at how I'm living my life today.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Most of us have met persons whom we thought extremely homely until we knew them better. Then we ceased observing their lack of facial beauty and began to appreciate those persons for what they really were.

George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were what might be called extremely homely men, yet the beauty and strength of their characters was such that practically all present day pictures show little of their ugliness.

You can't do a whole lot to improve an ugly face, but you can hide it behind a lovely character.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Lack of Faith

Dear God, help me to stop demanding maturity without the pains of experience and growth. It is both unreasonable and impossible. I need faith in the process to reach maturity. Lack of faith arrests my progress in recovery. Procrastination and scepticism are enemies of spiritual progress and attainment.

Scepticism demands evidence of God’s help. Procrastination prevents it. Faith, willingness, and prayer overcome all obstacles and provide ample evidence of God’s help in our happy, clean, and sober lives.

~ Adapted from The Little Red Book, pages 38-39 ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE ACTIVITY OF GOD

Read Psalm 18:8-16.

Thinking of one of his own experiences, the Psalmist says that the sorrows of hell compassed him about and the snares of death came upon him, and that he "cried unto God"—he went on praying—and that God came to his rescue. He says that the earth shook and trembled and that the very hills moved because God was wroth. Of course, the "earth" means your environment, and all the outer conditions that constitute your life experience at the present time. Thus the shaking and moving of these things means that all your conditions are being changed, naturally for the better. The "wroth" of God in the Bible always means the activity of God. It does not mean anger.

. . . and the Highest gave his voice. . . (Psalm 18: l3).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

When Your Heart Is Strong

Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow.

~ Norman Vincent Peale ~

On the threshold of recording her blockbuster album Unforgettable, Natalie Cole wrestled with her soul. The notion of electronically marrying segments of her dad's famous 1951 song with her voice in response was a bold and unprecedented experiment in the music industry. But in spite of potential criticism, there was something inside Natalie that kept pushing her to go ahead with the project. Subsequently, the recording became a top-selling album, and the singer won numerous Grammy awards for it.

Natalie looked back and summarized the process: "When your heart is really strong about something, there comes a point at which you just close your eyes and go for it."

All the figuring, planning, and reasoning in the world will do you no good unless you are willing to follow your instincts. All healing occurs outside the safety zone. Sometimes all you have to work with is a compelling urge, and sometimes that is enough. It is said that "the heart has reasons that reason knows not of."

Practice acting on your intuition. Faith is like a muscle-the more you use it, the stronger it becomes, and the greater your capacity to use it. If a particular venture keeps knocking at the door of your consciousness, it is likely that this is your direction. Ask yourself, "Can I not do it?" If you cannot not do it, your path is obvious.

Speak to me through my heart. Compel me to do the will of love.

Empowered by joy, I follow my path with courage and confidence.

[bluidkiti]

October 2

Step by Step

“It would be wonderful were I able to tell you that my confidence in God and my application of the Twelve Steps to my daily living have utterly banished fear. This would not be the truth. The most accurate answer I can give you is this: Fear has never again ruled my life since that day …when I found that a Power greater than myself could not only restore me to sanity but could keep me both sober and sane. Never in 16 years have I dodged anything because I was afraid of it. I have faced life instead of running away from it.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three, Ch 9 (“The Man Who Mastered Fear”), pp 284-85.

Today: fear of what? Of the uncertain but predictable consequences of drinking? Of the untested and unfamiliar path of sobriety? Of taking responsibility for the consequences of my actions when drunk, when sober? Of telling someone I’m sorry? Of admitting that I can’t do it alone anymore, that I need something better and stronger than myself? Of the risk of opening myself knowing that once the heart is open nothing will ever be the same? Of facing fear? Of what more fear will do to me? Today, if on nothing more than blind faith in something stronger and greater than myself, I confront my fears because I’ve empowered them far too long. In facing them, God granting, may I have control of my fears – not the other way around. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PINK CLOUDS

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will create the fact.

~ William James ~

Nearly all of us refer at some time to being on a "honeymoon of recovery." Whether we call it a "honeymoon” or "being on a pink cloud," the experience is the same. The recovery honeymoon is a natural state of well-being after we "get the monkey off our backs."

The sensation of living on a pink cloud never has to leave us, but we can only keep it by moving into positive action and working our Program. This is a time of being physically, emotionally, and spiritually at peace with society and ourselves. It has been described as a time of joy that makes us feel we are climbing out of darkness into light. Like other miracles of recovery, pink clouds are reality, not fantasy.

I can keep living on my "pink cloud" of recovery if I keep working at it and practicing gratitude and humility.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

~ Albert Einstein ~

In following the healing way, we open ourselves to truths that can never be established as concrete facts. Some of us have always been comfortable with a spiritual outlook. But some of us were hurt by damaging or even abusive experiences in religious institutions and gave up on them as meaningless. Now we all come together on a path that takes a very wide view of spirituality while making spiritual ideas central.

It is reassuring to learn that one of the greatest scientists of all time had a firm respect for realities that could not be pointed to or quantified. He excelled in the practical, objective world of science and he also knew about spiritual truth. Now we, too, are learning how our spiritual life creates miracles we could not bring about by the force of our will.

Today I am grateful to be tuned in to those forces that are outside objective, concrete reality.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

As our spirituality grows and changes, we can allow our image of God to change.

~ Ruth Schweitzer-Mordecai ~

As children we may have pictured God as a man with long hair, a beard, and flowing robes. For some of us, that image may still be the most comfortable. As adults, however, we have the freedom to define God however we wish. Hearing our sisters share their perceptions of a Higher Power has given us the courage to create whoever we need.

God may not even be an image some days, but only a feeling. The brilliant light reflecting off the drops of morning dew, the delicate hum of the hungry hummingbird, or the radiance of an American Beauty rose may whisper of the presence of God. A passage we read in a time-worn book may also remind us of God’s reality. Whether it’s a feeling, a few words, a specific image, or a profound experience, God will be as real in our lives as we are willing to allow.

The more I believe in God today, the easier will be my journey. I am not alone. The presence is always with me.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am becoming more responsible

Once a week I agreed to check in with my clinic and get a urine screen. I agreed to go to at least three meetings each week. I agreed to check in with my sponsor every day. I realize these are important, useful commitments, but I feel controlled; I feel as though I am unworthy of trust.

On the other hand, can I really be trusted these days? In the past I have promised to stay sober and then got high, promised to take my meds and then failed to even fill the prescription. It is hard to own up to, but maybe I need this structure for a while. And following through on these commitments will help me earn trust. Even though I resent it now it may well help me to recover.

Today I will practice doing what I say I'm going to do. I will check in with my sponsor and take my (prescribed) medication.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

If there is one thing we all can drop, it is criticism....
If we come to a place of acceptance and self-love,
it is easier to make changes.

~ Louise Hay ~

Virginia Satir once said, “You don’t help anybody by scolding them.” Criticism is a sharp weapon that we have used against ourselves and probably against others, sometimes with severe consequences. When it is constructive and offered with sensitivity, grace, and dignity, then criticism may be helpful, but not otherwise.

Most of us are our own sternest critics. To have someone else line up our “bad” qualities and march them before us only shames us more as it breaks our spirits and closes our ears. When we treat others this way, we’re left feeling mean-spirited and lonely.

But we can let go. The more we work on loving and affirming ourselves and others, the better we are able to give and accept constructive criticism. Each thing we learn how to cherish in ourselves helps us see and be thankful for the beauty around us.

Today let me be only a bearer of loving criticism and gentle suggestions.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.

~ George Eliot ~

If everything in life were easy, then everyone would be a success. Each of us has a certain set of skills, talents, and abilities. It is up to us to develop our strengths anti to strive, to the best of our ability, to utilize these assets, yet you may be someone who has created limitations anti built imaginary ceilings in your life. Rather than move beyond these self-erected barriers, you may find comfort in hiding behind them. Until you challenge yourself— even in small ways—you will never know what you are capable of achieving.

You can learn how to extend the boundaries of your limitations by first making a list of all of those things you would like to do or learn. Then write down why you have not taken action to make these things happen. The first list expresses your desires; the second list conveys the roadblocks that are preventing you from achieving your desires.

Review your lists, and then select one desire you would like to pursue. Take actions that will help you move beyond the roadblock, and you may be surprised at what you really can do.

Today I will take action to move beyond my limitations.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There seemed to be endless obstacles preventing me from living with my eyes open, but as I gradually followed up clue after clue it seemed that the root cause of them all was fear.

~ Joanna Field ~

How often have we complained that we would be able to do something if only another thing weren't preventing us. "I can't” is our answer when we look around us and see only potential obstacles to accomplishing something. We need to realize, however, that "I can't" is just another way of saying "I fear."

If we took away our fearfulness, think of all we could do. There would be nothing to prevent us from taking risks, trying new things, going new places, becoming more intimate, changing careers, going back to school, taking a Fourth Step inventory, chairing a meeting, or sponsoring a newcomer.

We can change our response of "I can't” to "I'll try." We can take the first step away from our fear toward trying something new. There are no obstacles in our path—only the ones we put there to protect us from things we fear.

Higher Power, help me take the steps to change from "I can't" to "I can."

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Learning about love

Being straight, we are discovering the joys of love. Just as our old ideas about living had to change, our old ideas about love have to change. Love can’t always be measured by self-sacrifice or generosity. We can self- sacrifice ourselves into martyrdom or generosity ourselves into directing and man-aging others’ lives.

Love doesn’t stipulate or limit. Does our Higher Power limit us? It loves us so much that it lets us go over the limit—to the point where we destroy ourselves. Few of us know much about the true nature of love, but when we are ready, our Higher Power reveals itself to us and shows us about love.

Have I learned all about love?

May I know with all my heart that my Higher Power is love.

Today I will make myself ready to learn about love by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it.
Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.

~ CHIEF SEATTLE ~

Newcomer

I've been looking at the Tenth Step, and I'm intimidated by the way it sounds. Isn't all this emphasis on being "wrong" a way of beating ourselves up?

Sponsor

I agree with you that gentleness with ourselves is a good policy in recovery. But we can be both gentle and honest at the same time: they're not opposites. We can't grow if we're not willing to look honestly at our actions and at their consequences.

Whether in professional or personal relationships, we ourselves don't like dealing with people who can't be depended on to do what they've promised. We don't like selfishness or dishonesty in others. Why, then, should we gloss over these traits in ourselves?

In recovery, we're in the process of developing deeper, more intimate relationships with ourselves. As in our relationships with other human beings, we need to be willing to see clearly and to acknowledge what isn't having a good effect on us or on others.

I step back and take an honest look at how I'm living my life today.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Most of us have met persons whom we thought extremely homely until we knew them better. Then we ceased observing their lack of facial beauty and began to appreciate those persons for what they really were.

George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were what might be called extremely homely men, yet the beauty and strength of their characters was such that practically all present day pictures show little of their ugliness.

You can't do a whole lot to improve an ugly face, but you can hide it behind a lovely character.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Lack of Faith

Dear God, help me to stop demanding maturity without the pains of experience and growth. It is both unreasonable and impossible. I need faith in the process to reach maturity. Lack of faith arrests my progress in recovery. Procrastination and scepticism are enemies of spiritual progress and attainment.

Scepticism demands evidence of God’s help. Procrastination prevents it. Faith, willingness, and prayer overcome all obstacles and provide ample evidence of God’s help in our happy, clean, and sober lives.

~ Adapted from The Little Red Book, pages 38-39 ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE ACTIVITY OF GOD

Read Psalm 18:8-16.

Thinking of one of his own experiences, the Psalmist says that the sorrows of hell compassed him about and the snares of death came upon him, and that he "cried unto God"—he went on praying—and that God came to his rescue. He says that the earth shook and trembled and that the very hills moved because God was wroth. Of course, the "earth" means your environment, and all the outer conditions that constitute your life experience at the present time. Thus the shaking and moving of these things means that all your conditions are being changed, naturally for the better. The "wroth" of God in the Bible always means the activity of God. It does not mean anger.

. . . and the Highest gave his voice. . . (Psalm 18: l3).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

When Your Heart Is Strong

Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow.

~ Norman Vincent Peale ~

On the threshold of recording her blockbuster album Unforgettable, Natalie Cole wrestled with her soul. The notion of electronically marrying segments of her dad's famous 1951 song with her voice in response was a bold and unprecedented experiment in the music industry. But in spite of potential criticism, there was something inside Natalie that kept pushing her to go ahead with the project. Subsequently, the recording became a top-selling album, and the singer won numerous Grammy awards for it.

Natalie looked back and summarized the process: "When your heart is really strong about something, there comes a point at which you just close your eyes and go for it."

All the figuring, planning, and reasoning in the world will do you no good unless you are willing to follow your instincts. All healing occurs outside the safety zone. Sometimes all you have to work with is a compelling urge, and sometimes that is enough. It is said that "the heart has reasons that reason knows not of."

Practice acting on your intuition. Faith is like a muscle-the more you use it, the stronger it becomes, and the greater your capacity to use it. If a particular venture keeps knocking at the door of your consciousness, it is likely that this is your direction. Ask yourself, "Can I not do it?" If you cannot not do it, your path is obvious.

Speak to me through my heart. Compel me to do the will of love.

Empowered by joy, I follow my path with courage and confidence.

[bluidkiti]

October 3

Step by Step

” …I went to my first meeting. I was a very fortunate drunk. God has been good to me both in my drinking and in my sobriety. Because, thank God, since I came into this program, I haven’t had any trouble. Oh yes, I get the dry jitters once in a while, but that isn’t anything to worry about. It passes away. But I’ve never come close to that first drink. I took the advice of people I had heard at meetings, the people in the group. And I jumped in with both feet. Someone told me, ‘When you drank, you didn’t get half-drunk. You went all the way. In this program, there aren’t any halfway measures. In here, you must go all the way, too.’ So I attended as many meetings as possible.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 8 (“Desperation Drinking”), p 516.

Today, “half measures availed us nothing.” Today, I will apply the full measures I exerted on drinking to get sober, and I will listen to the voices of experience and set aside the egoism that I think I know better than anyone else. And if a shot of the “dry jitters” creeps in, I have the Twelve Steps to fall back on and the promise that, “This, too, shall pass.” But I must first get to the point that enough is enough and, today, I give it up, facing that enough is enough. With that desire for something better, I have taken my first baby step. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SLOGANS

Live Easy But Think First.

~ Anonymous ~

Live and Let Live, Easy Does It, But for the Grace of God, Think, Think, Think, and First Things First are the slogans we most often hear and see on the walls of our meeting rooms. There is also a popular slogan when we put together in order the first word of these five: "Live Easy But Think First."

Many newcomers hear that we begin recovery on the slogans and stay in recovery on the Twelve Steps. The slogans were developed for use in recovery from the experience of many others. They at first appear to us as too simple (and sometimes too corny) for our use. The slogans are anything but corny. We need to check if we are using them in our daily lives.

The slogans helped me when I first came in. I continue to use them to keep me on the Program, but I also remember not to be a "slogan slinger" and ram them down everyone's throat.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind—listen to tine birds. And don’t hate nobody.

~ Eubie Blake ~

Some mornings we wake and the bright sun warms our bodies and our spirits. Other mornings we wake to darkness and feel a heavy shroud of worry surround-ing us. In order to be present for life, a man needs to carry the big picture of life’s cycles in his mind. Small children don’t have the big picture. They haven’t yet experienced the ups and downs of daily life. But our adult life has taught us that the bad times pass and the bright sun returns.

A strong man doesn’t deny the darkness, but he learns to cope with it by choosing what he pays attention to. There may be thunder, but we listen for the birdsong. We don’t lose our gratitude for the good luck we have had so far and for the constant companionship of our Higher Power. We care for our relationships and they sustain us through the darkest times.

Today I accept the cycles of life and I am grateful for the good fortune that has carried me this far.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When we live in a place for too long, we grow dull. We don’t notice what is around us.

~ Natalie Goldberg ~

Why is it so hard to be aware of our surroundings? What occupies our minds? Most of us can’t adequately answer these questions. We aren’t even aware that we are not aware. Ego has us trapped, and not against our will. Being unaware has simply become our way of life. Unseeing, we move through the minutes, the places, and the experiences that wear our name, noticing only ourselves.

Our journey is unique. The specific path we travel is trod by no one but us. No detail is without meaning; every moment, every person, every object has significance for us. Our task is to take notice and be grateful. What we need to know, what we are here to learn, is evident in the many tiny elements in our lives. Let’s not miss them.

Looking thoroughly around me today will reveal God’s messages. Nothing has been left to chance.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can trust again

When I recall what I've been through in my life, I can see why it's hard for me to feel safe when I try to believe in someone. It seemed that every time I let my guard down, I was mistreated or betrayed.

But eventually in recovery I have come to trust again. The process began with a person who was willing to accept me—regardless of my chemical or emotional problems—a person who was relaxed, open, and consistent with me. My trust didn't come quickly; I tested him to see if I could feel safe. But gradually, it worked. I am grateful that my higher power gave me the strength to try trusting one more time.

Today I will take five minutes to think about how I can help my recovery by trusting myself and other people.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

All rising to a great place is by a winding stair.

~ Sir Francis Bacon ~

When we look back over our lives it’s surprising to see how many twists and turns we have taken to get where we are today. Sometimes the smallest event has ended up determining what job we have, where we live, or what people are significant to us today. Most of us would never have chosen the path our lives have followed, yet we can be sure it’s no accident we are here today. Even when we denied it, our lives have always been part of God’s plan, not ours.

Today we are better able to accept and live our lives to their fullest. When we realize that what happens is part of God’s plan for us whether we like it or not, we can begin to make the best of things, to learn from defeat instead of pitying ourselves, and to be grateful instead of arrogant when we are successful.

Today help me see the hand of my Higher Power in everything that happens, and to make the best of things.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

~ Groucho Marx ~

Your birthday or a special anniversary date can represent one of the most important days of the year for you. Not only does it give you the opportunity to reflect upon your achievements over the past year, but it also represents a time in which you can begin to write a new chapter in the Story of your life. It is a time in which you can be reborn, k Just as a birthday presents a chance to reflect upon all of the years that came before and the opportunity to think about what you would like to achieve before you turn another year older, your anniversary in recovery offers a time to remember what brought you into the program and what things you would like to do as you Continue on the path of sobriety.

While it is important to continually set goals, make changes, and welcome new adventures of discovery, special days in your life can engage you more fully with renewal. Look back at all you have achieved up to this point in time, and look ahead to all of the new beginnings that lie before you.

Today I will celebrate how far I have come in my life and in my recovery.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The nice thing about football is that you have a scoreboard to show how you've done. In other things in life, you don't. At least, not that you can see.

~ Chuck Noll ~

When we entered the program, we learned how much blame we placed on others and how much denial was in our lives. Gradually we began to see our teachers, friends, or coaches weren't against us. As time went on, we learned our bosses weren't against us, or our lovers, or our siblings. In time, we may have even stopped blaming our parents.

We have no scoreboard to measure our progress other than the way we feel. If we feel restless, edgy, anxious, or unhappy, we've got some more work to do, and we can begin that now. If we're content, serene, and peaceful, we need to continue the work we're doing.

Life's ball game is with ourselves. Either we will push on and keep in winning form, or we will ignore our needs and fall behind. It is our choice, for we are the captain and the team.

I can ask my coach—my Higher Power—for help to keep me in winning form. Let it begin with me.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Sharing ourselves

We can’t give away what we don’t have, but what can we give? Ourselves. We do this by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. Whether we share with an individual or a group, we are walking, talking miracles of what our program can do.

But this program works only through our Higher Power, and only through our Higher Power can we have the joy of sharing with others.

Do I share myself wholly with those who seek help?

Higher Power, meet and defeat the hostile forces in me that I may bring your glory to others.

Today I will share myself wholeheartedly with

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Love has a passion for puzzles, for problem solving, is a grope in the direction of creativity.

~ ANATOLE BROYARD ~

Newcomer

I've met someone that I think I'd like to be friends with—perhaps even more than friends. I know I still have distance to go in recovery, and I don't want to act compulsively, against the suggestion of the program.

The trouble is, I'm afraid that I'll completely lose out on getting to know this person if I don't act now.

Sponsor

It sounds as if life's beginning to get a little bit exciting. This is one of those wonderful problems that we get to have when we're no longer fighting the addiction every day; it's about people.

To me, your desire not to rush headlong into anything sounds pretty sensible. It takes a long, long time to get to know another person. We're entitled to take that time. But what if our pace is a problem for the other person? One person wants to go slow; the other person wants to go fast. It stands to reason that if we're both interested in the relationship, we'll agree to the slower pace.

Whether it's friendship or love we're talking about, sensitivity to the other person is required; we have to honor his or her needs, as well as our own. At the beginning of a new relationship, if another person disrespects needs that we've made clear are important to us, then he or she isn't likely to respect them later on. Those who do respect our needs can contribute something necessary to the process of creating a healthy relationship.

Today, I respect my own needs and am willing to share what they are.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Promises, vows, pledges, resolutions, doctors, preachers, priests, psychologists, psychiatrists, hospitals, judges, fails, jitter-joints, in fact everything, but nothing worked.

One day, by the Grace of God, we found ourselves sober, and there can be no denying that it was the Grace of God alone that caused it. That same Grace will remain with you as long as you honestly seek it, and you will find that it will prove more than sufficient.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

May I Encourage Others

Dear Lord, may I remember to encourage others, truly listen to what others say, encourage their expression of ideas and feelings by exercising patience and empathy, rewarding honesty and openness with affirmation.

You have instructed us to encourage one another, build one another up, be at peace among ourselves, always seek to do good to one another, rejoice always, pray constantly, for this is Your will.

~ Adapted from 1 Thessalonians 5: l2-18 ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE LARGESS OF GOD

Read Psalm 18.

In verse 19 the Psalmist asserts, he brought me forth also into a large place. . . . Is it nor a wonderful thought that God brings us forth into a large place? Then he adds that God delivered me, because he delighted in me. This verse really means that being delivered from the dungeon of fear, the Psalmist was beginning to "experience the delight that peace of mind naturally brings.

And now comes a very significant statement, “according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me." This refers to right conduct or right living. To have clean hands means trying to live the Christ life. Our prayers have but little power if we are not honestly trying to live up to the best that we know. We always do what we believe.

With the merciful thou wilt show thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt show thyself upright; with the pure thou wilt show thyself pure: and with the forward thou wilt show thyself forward (Psalm 18:25-26).

This is a concise and powerful statement of the law that we literally reap what we sow. God, in His infinite wisdom, has made the Laws of the universe and left them to work themselves out. He is not constantly interfering in every individual transaction. If this were the case, there would be no law and God would not be Principle.

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Greater Than Starfish

Behold the lilies of the field. They do not toil and neither do they spin. Yet even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If God cares for the grass, which is here one day and cast into the fire the next, how much more shall He care for you, His beloved child?

~ Jesus Christ ~

In the Virgin Islands, I saw a lizard being chased by a cat who swiped off its tail. A local fellow laughed and told me, "In a short time, the tail will grow again." The regenerative power of nature is miraculous. If an earthworm is cut in half, it will regrow itself to completion. If a starfish loses a limb, it will be renewed.

If such rudimentary creatures as worms and starfish can regenerate lost body parts, so can we. Surely we are at least as evolved as an earthworm!

I know a man who regrew a part of his thumb after losing a section in a construction accident. I met a woman who, after having a lung removed, regenerated it. These people are not exceptions to the laws of nature; they are reminders of our potential.

Let us open our minds to manifest the blueprint of our perfection. Created in the image and likeness of an all-powerful God, we have the capacity to be whole at all times.

Help me manifest the magnificence with which You created me.

My birthright is perfect wholeness. I claim my destiny to live in strength and health.

[bluidkiti]

October 4

Step by Step

“For me, AA is a synthesis of all the philosophy I’ve ever read, all of the positive, good philosophy, all of it based on love. I have seen that there is only one law, the law of love, and there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one’s own growth.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), p 542.

Today, how not to interfere with anyone’s growth – emotional and spiritual – including my own. If the traditional definition of philosophy as an ideal state of life is applied to AA, then, no, AA is not a philosophy. Rather, it is a discipline because AA does not promise a rose garden with sobriety but gives us the tools to effectively deal with the thorns in the rose bed. And discipline is required to stick to the steps that help us deal effectively with the thorns of life. How do I not impede anyone’s personal growth, including my own? Simple: look to Step 11 and seek my higher power’s will and the ability to carry it out. His will, not mine, be done. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FORGIVENESS

To err is human, to forgive divine.

~ Alexander Pope ~

True healing requires that we give back freely what we received freely. We have been accepted by our Highest Power and forgiven our mistakes. We must pass on that forgiveness. We have to learn to accept the fact that we sometimes hurt others in ways which we are not aware. If a person comes to us and asks for forgiveness, it is important for our own well-being that we pass it on.

It does us no good to hang on to resentments and bitterness for another person. This is an extremely serious matter. Our recovery can be in danger if we withhold our forgiveness. It is equally true that there is nothing we have done for which we cannot be forgiven. God's love for us is unlimited. We need only ask. We always have an opportunity for a second start.

I forgive as I am forgiven, I have learned in recovery to accept being human and not perfect. What I am is different from what I used to think I should or ought to be.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The more we allow ourselves to be servants of having, the more we shall let ourselves fall prey to the gnawing anxiety which having involves.

~ Gabriel Marcel ~

In our consumer-driven world we are flooded with tempting advertising images that promise us happiness, power, and virility if we buy these products. Success in this consumer world means financial wealth rather than good character or playing the hand we are dealt. The phrase quality of life often refers to material wealth, not to the quality of one’s personal relationships.

We are following an alternative path. On this path, material goods are just trappings to be used and shared, never to define us. Our worth as a man is never measured by the car we drive or the clothes we wear. The guy who drives an old beater and the guy in a hot sports car are equals. No matter how many toys we have, and no matter how badly we have screwed up our lives, God loves His creation and wants the best for us.

Today I will keep my eye on the real ingredients of my “quality of life.”

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

How often in my loneliness I have said things I didn’t sincerely mean just to please another.

~ Mary Norton Gordon ~

Our desire to bond with others can be intense. In our youth we followed the pack, even when we knew we’d be punished after we got home. Our need to belong hasn’t lessened in adulthood. Before getting clean and sober, we formed alliances with many men and women who didn’t share our view of life. We relied on these attachments, because loneliness was too overwhelming and anyone was better than no one.

Today we know that the Twelve Step program has given us what we needed all along. What a life- saver! And all that’s been asked of us in return is our presence at meetings and our willingness to let other people really know us. It’s so simple. We’re surrounded by women who want to share our lives, who have similar stories, who searched as we did in all the wrong places. These bonds are offered sincerely.

If I feel myself ready to go along with something to which I don’t agree, it’s my cue to call a sponsor or a friend for the intimacy I crave.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I will be taken care of

Given a childhood of parental neglect—and then years of neglecting and abusing myself—I wasn’t sure how much I really wanted to survive. I felt I had nothing and no one. Without faith or trust, I finally hit bottom—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

And then something wonderful happened: I found the Twelve Step fellowship. I found people like myself, people who accept, understand, and care about me. I found a higher power and the Twelve Steps to guide me. I could never have envisioned these changes. They're gifts, and I am deeply grateful.

Today I will carry the message of hope.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Only the brave know how to forgive.

~ Laurence Sterne ~

We hold onto resentment, old pain, and grudges to hurt others. Instead, they hurt us, weighing us down and creating a barrier between us and the rest of the world. As long as our hands are full of old hurts we can’t reach for freedom, joy, and love.

The key to ending resentment is forgiveness and surrender to a Higher Power. When we learn to accept others as they are without making judgments or taking their inventory, we can live and let live. We can come to understand that others acted as they did not to hurt us, but because it filled their needs.

As we come closer to uncritical acceptance of God’s will, we also find we’re able to forgive our own faults as easily as we do the faults of others. As we learn to accept others just as they are we begin to accept ourselves a little more. And soon we find resentments fading, replaced by a new acceptance of God’s will for ourselves and others. Now we can let go of old pain and make room for joy.

Today help me let go of resentment and accept myself and others.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Just as you began to feel that you could make good use of time, there was no time left to you.

~ Lisa Alther ~

In one neighborhood the houses had clean windows, the lawns were cared for, and the driveways were free from clutter. But there was one home that had peeling paint, a yard full of overgrown weeds, and a driveway filled with junk. One day a man knocked on the door of the unkempt house and said to the owner, “I will give you $86,400. But you must use it wisely.” The owner gladly accepted the money and shut the door.

Later that evening the man knocked on the door. “Please tell me what you did today,” he asked.

“Well,” the owner replied, “because you gave me so much money, I decided to blow off work. I slept in and watched television. Then I ordered a pizza, watched some more television, and fell asleep again.”

The man then asked for his money back.

“But you gave it to me,” the owner said.

“Actually what I gave you was the gift of time,” the man answered. “In each day you are given 86,400 seconds. If you use that time wisely, then you will have received its full value. But if you waste it, you will never get it back."

Today I will not squander the time I have been given. I will use each second wisely.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

All our actions take their hue from the complexion of the heart, as landscapes their variety from light.
~ Francis Bacon ~

Tests have proven color and light play a significant role in influencing our moods. Even if we don't believe such statements, we can recall how we feel at the onset of a brilliant sunrise or breathtaking sunset. We can remember how we feel after two or three days of gray, overcast skies. The bright and vibrant colors stimulate our senses, and we react to them differently than we react to gray, dark colors.

The colors we wear and the way we decorate our living spaces are pretty accurate reflections of how we feel about life and ourselves. Sometimes dressing in a more brilliant or a softer color can subtly change our mood from sad to happy. Sometimes imagining we are surrounded by a healing color—one of our favorite colors, perhaps—can help lift our spirits. Just as we give a coloring book and crayons to a child, so can we give ourselves a palette of beautiful colors with which to paint ourselves.

I can create a wonder of colors within me and around me. I can color me beautiful!

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Trying to escape

In an attempt to get out of the box we found ourselves in, many of us tried the geographic escape. We moved from place to place. Invariably, we found ourselves in pretty much the same, if not a worse, situation.

We knew we had real emotional and material problems, but we weren’t aware that using chemicals was actually causing much of our distress. The chemicals induced a state of mind that led to behavior patterns that wouldn’t have occurred had we not been “out of our minds.”

Have I stopped trying to escape?

Higher Power, help me to know that it’s not my location that makes the difference in my life, it’s what I’m working with inside.

Today, instead of seeking escape, I will try to improve my situation by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

~ JAPANESE PROVERB ~

Newcomer

Why is there a need for a Tenth Step, when we've already done "a searching and fearless inventory" in Step Four?

Sponsor

Accepting the need to live my life a day at a time isn't easy for me. I've always wanted to know what was going to happen for the rest of my life. But in life, things are always changing and unfolding.

The Fourth Step helped us to see our past behavior more clearly. But our lives aren't over. We need to continue to be conscious of our motives and of the impact our behavior has on ourselves and others.

We have a need for the Tenth Step because we're human and because we have addictions. People in recovery aren't infallible. Recovery has given us new options for dealing with difficult situations, but we don't always turn to them. There are times when, in pain or fear or confusion, we rely on an old habit instead of on the principles of the program. As with Step Four, Step Ten helps to keep us from using addiction to anaesthetize our feelings over things we wish we'd done differently.

Today, I scan through my past twenty-four hours. I give myself credit for a day of recovery. I don't hesitate to acknowledge any wrongs that I'm aware of having committed.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

You cannot sell a man a bill of goods without selling yourself. This is the experience of all those who speak at meetings or attempt to carry the message to other alcoholics.

Whether your talks help the other guy or not, you may never know, but your efforts have not been in vain for you will have undoubtedly helped yourself in the attempt.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

This First Step

Lord, I have nothing.
My addiction has taken my spirit and my sanity
I have lost my family and my soul.
My life is no longer my own.
Help me to restore my life so it is manageable;
Make my pains bearable.
I cannot do it alone—I have tried.
Today I ask that You will be with me
as I take this First Step.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE KINDLING OF GOD

Read Psalm 18.

In verse 28 the Psalmist moves to another phase of the teaching. Thou wilt light my candle : the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.

Many similes have been offered by religious teachers to illustrate the relationship between God and man. One of the best known and most helpful is to think of man as a spark from a great fire, which is God. The spark is not the whole of the fire but it is part of it, and therefore of the same nature' and possesses, potentially, all the characteristics of the parent fire. It can ignite many things upon which it falls, thus producing another fire essentially of the same nature as the original fire.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Agree on What?

Let not littleness lead God's Son into temptation.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

I saw a television news story about a priest who had covertly molested many children in his Catholic elementary school. When he was reported after many years, scores of children came forth to corroborate his crimes. The priest was deposed and became the object of considerable legal motions. In viewing a meeting of an ad hoc group of the now-grown adults who had been abused, I felt disturbed by the mob energy generated. These people were severely angry, and the primary intention of the group was to punish the priest. While they were performing a great service to get him out of his position so that he could do no further damage, I observed a cry for vengeance that debilitated those who voiced it. Their gathering reinforced the message, "We are victims, and we want blood."

It occurred to me that the members of this group would help themselves most by dealing with their pain and rage. What they needed was not retribution, but to become free of the wrath they were embroiled in. By focusing on punishing their perpetrator, they were not growing beyond their experience, but merely reinforcing it.

We must be careful about what we get together to agree on. Agreement is powerful, and it can be misused. Jesus said, "Wherever two or more are gathered in my name, there am I," indicating that a shared acceptance of Spirit brings healing. It may also be said that wherever two or more are gathered in the name of fear, only more darkness ensues.

My teacher Hilda explained that the worst use of a marriage or friendship is to agree on shared victimhood. When we band together to define ourselves as small, we become only smaller. When we join to affirm our power to love and heal, we become infinitely powerful. Take care to agree that you are great and not wounded.

Help me to align with those who empower me to be great in strength and not small in weakness.

I agree with those who affirm my wholeness and perfection.

[bluidkiti]

October 5

Step by Step

“My story has a happy ending, but not of the conventional kind. I had a lot more hell to go through. But what a difference there is between going through hell without a power greater than one’s self, and with it! …(M)y teetering tower of worldly success collapsed. My alcoholic associates fired me, took control and ran the enterprise into bankruptcy. My alcoholic wife took up someone else, divorced me and took with her all my remaining property. The most terrible blow of my life befell me after I’d found sobriety through AA. …One night my son, when he was only 16, was suddenly and tragically killed. The Higher Power was on deck to see me through, sober. I think He’s on hand to see my son through, too. I think He’s on hand to see all of us through whatever may come to us.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 16 (“Me an Alcoholic?”), p 437.

Today, foresight to know and be prepared for the day when my AA program is called upon to get me sober through the bad. I must accept that bad things are going to happen in my life and that AA is not a promise the bad will not happen. But AA is a promise that I can get through the bad sober if I not only adhere to the 12 Steps but also trust a higher power stronger than me. I absolutely must be willing to be open to the idea of a higher power, even if that power is the program itself. On good days, it’s easy to talk the talk; on bad ones, it’s another to walk the walk. Disappointments and tragedy can be expected to hit me, just as they do the non-alcoholic. Let me begin today to invest in a program strong enough that I can draw upon when the good days aren’t so good. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

OWN WORST ENEMY

We have met the enemy and he is us.

~ Pogo ~

We can quit being our own worst enemy by developing the willingness to be good to ourselves. When we feel uptight, we all tend to treat ourselves unkindly. We can begin to like ourselves if we keep thinking about how far we've come in our recovery. We have figuratively gone all the way to hell and made a U-turn.

We can't forgive others their mistakes and not forgive ourselves as well. If we consider ourselves our own worst enemy, we aren't listening to our friends in the Program or our Higher Power. They tell us to be kind, to ourselves and others.

Acceptance is knowing we are good and whole despite our limitations and defects. As long as we strive to improve, we are free to take joy in who we are now.

When I feel like my own worst enemy, I'm in danger of hating myself. Perfection isn't possible, but progress is.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Despite all the obvious distinctions between men and women, our hearts share the same fears and yearnings. Learning how to hold each other’s hearts tenderly is the art of love making.

~ David Treadway ~

Intimacy is showing our inner self to another person. When we live in an intimate partnership, our task is to learn to be worthy of the trust and vulnerability our partner opens to us. At the same time, we need to learn to show our fears and yearnings to our beloved. When we make disrespectful, sarcastic, or hurtful comments, we show ourselves as unworthy of the intimate vulnerability our partner granted to us. When we are open and intimate with our partner, we deserve to be treated with tenderness and respect.

This kind of intimacy is not easy to achieve or maintain. It is a very grown-up kind of relationship that we learn to achieve as adults.

Today I will be vulnerable with my partner and honor my partner’s trust in me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We are all diamonds in the rough.

~ Roseann Lloyd ~

We tend to exaggerate our own imperfections and glorify other women’s strengths. In reality, we are all imperfect yet quite good enough. Since getting clean and sober and joining this sisterhood of recovery, we have been given the tools for smoothing the rough edges of our character. Becoming a real gem is within our reach.

How do we begin? It’s important to keep our efforts simple. Because we have so much we want to change, many of us try to change everything about ourselves overnight. The result is overwhelming frustration. We became who we are now over many years of reckless living. We must be realistic. Committing to one tiny change a day is enough to focus on. And it’s more than enough to eventually bring about the overall changes we seek.

When we accept that who we are right now is okay with God, we’ll also accept the pace of our progress in becoming who we want to be.

Watching my facets begin to sparkle can make each day a thrill to live. I’ll appreciate the opportunities to polish my rough edges today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need relief from my guilt

I feel bad about some things I've done in my life. Sometimes I feel I should be punished. This guilt is a weight I've lived with for many years. I used to try to forget it by drinking.

In dual recovery, I've quit drinking, but I'm left with some unresolved guilt. It keeps me blue at times, keeps me angry at myself and others. It even increases my risk of relapse. But I'm learning a way to help. First I do a Fourth Step to learn exactly what I feel guilty about. Then I promptly do a Fifth Step to help release it. The good news from my fellow group members is that by doing these Steps I can look forward to some relief.

Today I'll make notes on the two things I feel most guilty about and on how I can release this guilt.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving.

~ Garrison Keillor ~

Some of us live with terrible guilt. We believe we are the source of all problems, that everything wrong is our fault. This is a bit extreme. We all feel guilt at times, some of it productive, but no one is that guilty.

Guilt shows we care. We feel bad when we do or say something that goes against our value system. But to feel guilty about every problem, every mistake, every accident, is a sign we expect too much of ourselves. We become paralyzed and unable to change and make amends.

And in recovery we are learning we are not responsible for everyone — our first responsibility is to ourselves. We are learning to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy guilt. Excessive guilt need not be our legacy. God created us as humans, not gods. It is our nature to be imperfect. When we begin to accept ourselves and our mistakes as normal, our freedom is within our grasp, and we put a halt to the cycle of guilt.

Today help me know when guilt is warranted. Help me believe that I am not always guilty.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Even on those mornings in which you feel you cannot face another day, you can. Even when you feel you can-not get out of bed, you can. Even when you feel you cannot face another challenge in your life, you can. Even when you feel depressed, overwhelmed, unfocused, or crazed, you can overcome those feelings.

How do you do this? By shifting your focus away from yourself and placing it on the natural wonders around you. When was the last time you got up early to watch the sun rise or listen to the songs of some of the morning’s early birds? When was the last time you watched a squirrel leaping from branch to branch or scurrying across a telephone wire?

Appreciate what is outside you, and it can be easier to look at what is inside of you with greater understanding, patience, and compassion. Connect with the world at large, and you might be able to see that your problems are really not so big after all. Notice all of the things your Higher Power created, and you will be able to feel gratitude that you are alive.

Today I choose to live with my eyes wide open to the world around me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer the goal.

~ Elbert Hubbard ~

Every good story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. The beginning is like our morning, full of newness and promise and hope. This morning was our introduction to a new day, to new people, and to new experiences.

The middle of the story is how our day progressed. It's the actions and events, the dialogue and the locales, and the conflicts of the day. The middle may have been dull and boring, or it could have raced along.

The ending of the story is our evening. Tonight we may have found resolutions to the conflicts of the day or logical endings to some of the promises and hopes of the morning. The story's conclusion is decided by how we want to end our day. Why not end today's story with hope, gratitude, and peace—a happy ending!

How will I end today's story? I can write a happy ending with gratitude for the peace my Higher Power has given me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Becoming detached

In our need to become a whole person, we sometimes find it necessary to project an environment we believe will be more satisfactory than our present one: a different town, a new position, or a profitable goal. But if we don’t remember that we have no power over our own life, these dreams can become pitfalls.

If we forget our powerlessness and start desperately seeking a goal or a place, we open ourselves to discouragement and disillusionment. But if we truly detach—by turning our will and our lives over to our Higher Power’s care—we will achieve real happiness through our Higher Power.

Do I give the future to my Higher Power?

Higher Power, I pray that when I look farther ahead than today, you will help me to be where it is best for me to be.

The goals and aspirations I will hand over to my High Power today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.

~ VAI PROVERB ~

Newcomer

You'd think that after everything I've been through, I'd never want to repeat any of the mistakes I've made before, but I do keep repeating them. I don't pick up, but I don't always behave the way I want to.

Sponsor

At times, I revert to old ways of handling things. It's almost as if my personality sets little traps for me, and I fall into them. I find myself being selfish or dishonest in spite of myself, Or I fall into gossip or criticism, self-importance or self-hatred. The good news is that when I act in these ways in recovery I'm uncomfortable; I know that something isn't quite right. I remember the painful lessons of the past.

As children, we depended on others for our survival, and we made whatever accommodations we had to in order to be taken care of, Some of the habits we developed came with us into adulthood, even though they no longer had a useful function in our lives. Similarly, in active addiction, we depended on certain behaviors to care for ourselves as best we could. These behaviors aren't necessary for survival or self-nurturing any longer; and, in fact, they threaten our recovery. Step Ten is a tool for staying away from addictive drugs and behavio4 no matter what happens to us in recovery-including success.

Today, I thrive on actions that further my self-esteem. If I've made a mistake, I say so without punishing myself.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The opportunities around us for doing good are so numerous that to do all the good things we would like to do is almost impossible. Nor is it necessary to read the papers for opportunities to help. They are near at hand and far more numerous than we suspect. Our eyes see what they are trained to see and a little practice will enable them to see many opportunities that you once failed to observe.

If your prayers include a request to never let a day go by without some opportunity of serving, you'll have your prayer answered and you will rejoice in the fact that you have so much to do, and your lone regret will be that you cannot do more.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Surround Me With Your Light

Surround me with Your light;
Penetrate the very depths of my being with that
light,
Let there remain no areas of darkness within me,
Clear away the shadows of my ego,
the clouds of my defects;
Transform my whole being with the healing light
of Your love;
Open me completely to receive your love,
and help me to let go of all that blocks Your
healing.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE GOODNESS OF GOD

Read Psalm 18.

In verse 29 the Psalmist, thinking of some of the times in the past when he has been given power to overcome difficulties and to advance on the path, says, For by thee I have run through a troop; and by my God I leaped over a wall. Everyone has found himself at some time confronted with a difficulty that seemed like a high and insurmountable wall, but faith in God enables one to clear the obstacle notwithstanding.

Next the Psalmist reminds us that the way of God is perfect. God will put you upon your high place. In other words, he will raise your consciousness so that you will automatically demonstrate. Then the author praises God and thanks Him for His goodness. Thanksgiving, as you know, is one of the most powerful forms of prayer.

Finally he says that God gives great deliverance to his king; and that He sheweth mercy to His anointed, to David and to his seed forevermore. God intends us all to be kings through the exercise of spiritual power, and our power to go on increasing—like the seed of David—through all eternity.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Embrace Yourself

I dreamed I had a child, and even in the dream I saw that it was my life, and it was an idiot, and I ran away. But it always crept into my lap again, clutched at my clothes. Until I thought, if I could kiss it, whatever in it was my own, perhaps I could sleep. And I bent over the broken face, and it was horrible...but I kissed it. I think that one must finally take one's life into one's arms.

~ from After the Fall, by Arthur Miller ~

At a conference, I met a psychotherapist named Leonard who told me, "I try to get my patients to accept and appreciate all of their feelings. I teach them that there is no such thing as a bad feeling. Anger, fear, and sadness all bring us valuable opportunities to awaken and grow. We must embrace all that we are and experience." Later, I overheard another man telling someone about Leonard's work: "I heard a therapist this morning who says we should tolerate ourselves." But Leonard hadn't said anything about tolerating ourselves. He suggested that we celebrate ourselves. In that distinction lies the entire key to our healing. To tolerate is to put up with something that is obnoxious or abhorrent, and hope that it goes away soon. To celebrate is to find the beauty, honor it, expand it, and live in the glory of a precious treasure.

True healing begins with self-acceptance. We must embrace ourselves, rejoice in what we are, and magnify it to the highest degree.

Help me see myself through Your eyes. Bestow upon me the vision of my own perfection, that I may honor it.

I am a miracle of love. I am perfect as God created me.

[bluidkiti]

October 6

Step by Step

“The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 (“There Is a Solution”), p 24.

Today, if the numbing physical and psychological impact of my last drunk has been weakened by the passage of time, let my defense be the outcome of my last drunk – likely the same consequence, if not worse, of every drunk before the last one. I have long since passed the point that a drunk tonight will be less physically and less costly than my last drunk, even if it was years ago. My sobriety today does not promise I will be sober tomorrow, but it does promise that I have a choice today to drink or not. If the memory of the physical and emotional toll of my last drunk has been salved by the passage of time, pray I know that I and I alone will be responsible for the consequences of another drunk. And lest I forget that those if consequences were too heavy then, they will probably be too heavy – or heavier – now. Today, I have the choice, and I choose not to forget my last drunk so that I have the choice not to drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CHARACTER DEFECTS

The only truths we can point to are the ever changing truths of our own experience.

~ Peter Weiss ~

We once wore our character defects like badges of honor. We were comfortable with them. They seemed natural and normal to us. We believed in our defects. We believed we needed them.

The ego of which we were so proud has had to be deflated. When God becomes our primary focus, our character traits are shown to us in a new light. We are able to ask for help from our Higher Power to get rid of the parts of our character that hurt us.

We know that if we are not ready and willing for the help of our Higher Power and our friends, we will not get rid of our character defects.

I must be willing to see myself in a new way and accept myself as I am. That way I can start changing my defects that hurt me and my recovery.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The other planets may not be able to support life, but it isn’t easy on this one either.

~ Anonymous ~

The difficulties and pleasures of life always seem to come as a mixture of both. Today’s hard problems will be different by tomorrow. And the pleasures and rewards that come our way always come in waves of greater and lesser measure. That perspective on life’s problems is what we need to continue on our path of personal growth. Today we no longer reach for the instant relief of a drug or a behavior to get an immediate good feeling.

In the midst of all the trees, we look up and see the bigger picture of the forest. The problems at hand today will pass. Our task is to examine the problem, then decide what we can do about it and what we can simply turn over to our Higher Power. By keeping our perspective on the bigger picture, we will not get lost in the anxiety of the present moment.

Today I am grateful that I can count on my Higher Power for help in dealing with my difficulties.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Wisdom not gained from within is only someone else’s knowledge.

~ Georgette Vickstrom ~

Now that we are clean and sober and working the Steps of this program, we have the opportunity to discover that we possess good judgment. Our sponsors can help us in this undertaking, but we need to be cautious.

Needing to be right is a common malady among alcoholics, and we have to take that into account when others try to help us make decisions. Just because we are surrounded by program people doesn’t mean we’ll always get good advice. On the contrary, we can expect a fair share of poor advice aggressively given. Using the Steps and the slogans will help us discern rather quickly what’s valuable to us and what is not.

I will look to others for help when I need it; however, I’ll rely on my own judgment too. My inner voice has my best interest at heart.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am a worthy person with two illnesses

A friend just canceled our date. I think it was partly due to my mental health issues even though I'm stable and recovering. This hurts. Rejection always hurts, but especially when it is due to my dual disorder, a pair of liabilities that are not my fault.

Still, I know I'm doing the best I can. I am working on my illnesses—staying abstinent, going to therapy and Step meetings. I trust that I will be OK because I have a higher power and I know people care about me. Rejection hurts, but I am learning to deal with it.

I will pray (or meditate) and share my pain and sadness with a trusted friend.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

In order to perceive the world differently, it is imperative that we learn to retrain our minds and realize that we can gain control over our thoughts.

~ Gerald G. Jampolsky ~

Negative thinking can clutter our minds and influence all our actions and relationships. Becoming aware of negative thought patterns is a foundation upon which we can build a tower of remarkable change.

Our minds are powerful and adaptive. We are finding that we can change our thinking at any moment, age, and time, if we are willing. Now we know that we can change anything in our lives when we begin to change our basic belief system and end our pattern of negative thinking. If we don’t, all our other life changes will be built on shifting sand. When we do, we discover that as we build our new base of positive thinking, everything else we do is in harmony.

Today let me become aware of how much I allow my mind to drift into negative thinking.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them?

~ Rose Kennedy ~

A Zen parable tells the story of two monks who were washing at a stream. As they were washing, a scorpion fell into the stream. One monk plucked the scorpion from the water, and it stung him. The monks continued washing, and the scorpion again fell into the stream. The same monk rescued the scorpion, which stung him a second time. The other monk asked, “Brother, why do you keep saving the scorpion when you know its nature is to sting?”

“Because,” the monk replied, “my nature is to save.” Despite the pain he knew he would receive from the scorpion’s sting, one monk persisted in doing what brought him joy and gave him a sense of purpose in his life. So too can you feel joy despite the difficulties or challenges you may face in recovery Even when you cannot always see where you are going in recovery, you can feel joy that your journey is underway. Despite your setbacks, failures, and mistakes of the past, you can feel joy that those things are behind you. Whether today takes you where you would like to go or provides you with detours and setbacks, you can still feel joy.

No matter what happens today, I will feel joy.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I guess we are now small enough to go to bed.

~ Theodore Roosevelt, To his soldiers, after gazing at the stars one night ~

Sometimes after a really "up" day we may feel impervious to troubles and problems. We may even feel a bit cocky if others have depended on us for help and assistance and we've been able to provide what they needed.

It's easy to get off on an ego trip by feeling we're the best when we’ve solved problem after problem. We may even feel superhuman. But we need to shrink back to our proper size.

Some days are good, and we deserve them. But good days don't prove that we're the greatest or that all our problems are solved. Today we did what we needed to do. We may have had a lot of energy and patience to work with. Tonight we can feel grateful for this positive, constructive energy. But we need to remember we're the same size we were this morning. We're human, not superhuman. Tonight everything is where it belongs. The stars are up in the heavens and we're here looking up at them.

Tonight I can pray for the continued ability to have wonderful days and to feel good about myself.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Finding our path

We are the result of what we have applied. In recovery we have a chance to apply new principles to our lives. In doing so, we are able to abandon old habits and ideas and, bit by bit, to recognize our Higher Power’s plan for us.

Cleaning house is a necessary beginning for our new way of life. Every day, instead of following our ego’s will, we can take the cues given by our Higher Power and use them to stay connected to our spiritual path in life.

Have I become what I’m meant to be?

Higher Power, today may I begin practicing, thinking, and living according to your plan for me.

I will allow my Higher Power to guide me on my path today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Shame kills faster than disease.

~ BUCHI EMECHETA ~

Newcomer

I've really screwed something up badly. It's not the first time, either; I've done this sort of thing before. I should know better by now. I can't believe how stupid I've been.

Sponsor

When I'm working Step Ten, I need to practice exercising my judgment, instead of merely being judgmental. I listen to the dialogues in my head and hear how critical I'm capable of being. I look at my old habit of using words against myself. My lack of charity and compassion toward myself won't improve the situation I'm feeling upset about, nor will it further my ability to be accepting of my fellow human beings. It will keep me in a holding pattern of negativity and criticism. It won't help to repair any error or damage that has taken place; instead, it may block me from thinking of and taking an appropriate action.

An alternative to self-criticism is simply standing back and noticing behavior, in the same way that we notice our thoughts with detachment during meditation: "Oh—I've done that," or "I see that I'm having that feeling again." In the process of changing old patterns, paying attention is more productive than rushing to condemn ourselves.

Today, I choose words with conscious care. I expand my vocabulary replacing the language of attack and insult with words of understanding.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Prohibition is a glaring example of the futility of endeavoring to protect men from their own follies. The setting up of barriers is effective only in challenging the resources of man to overcome those barriers.

It is an unfortunate truth that we never fear a hot stove until we have been burnt, and a fresh paint sign serves only as a dare to everyone to put their finger on it and see for themselves.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Stop My Running Away

May I remain fearless and searching in taking my daily inventory. This challenge has always seemed difficult—difficult in facing myself as I really am. I cannot run away from the truth or flee from my wrongdoings. Higher Power, stop me in my tracks when my misdeeds are chasing me. May I slow down, stop, and turn to face them with the most trusty weapon that the Program and You have taught me: the honest truth.

~ Adapted from A Day at a Time, August 13 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

NO BUTS

When the devil has been unmasked a number of times, his final refuge seems to be the harmless looking word but. Students of the teaching of Jesus Christ who would not be deceived by any of the familiar devices, constantly surrender their principles, and therefore their demonstration, to the little word but.

"Of course I know that God is the only power—but—.”
"Of course I know that God is omnipresent—but—.”
"Of course I know that God is love—but—.”
"Of course I know that there is no hurry because I am in eternity—but—."
"Of course I know that John or Mary must be the living expression of God, just as I am—but—."

If truth is true, there are no buts.

And they all with one consent began to make excuse (Luke 14:18).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Life and Details

You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.

~ Evan Esar ~

In an airport, I saw a man wearing a baseball cap and a sweatshirt proclaiming, "Baseball is Life—Everything Else is Details."

Each of us chooses what we will value as important, and everything else becomes details. The question is not, "Will I make something important?" It is "What have I made important?"

Jesus explained, "A man cannot serve two masters; he will love the one and hate the other, or he will honor one and despise the other." The law of consciousness is that we will live in the world ruled by whatever we make important.

Because we are spiritual beings, the only world that will ever fulfill us is the realm of spirit. On an airplane, I sat next to a well-respected cardiologist who confessed, "I have all manner of material wealth-several luxurious homes, a Porsche, and a Ferrari. One day my 11-year-old son tearfully told me, 'Dad, I don't know you. I don't see you. When will you have time for me?' That moment I realized that I had placed my values in all the wrong places. Now I spend quality time with my son, and that has made all the difference."

Found your life on that which truly gives life, and leave the details to the universe.

Help me keep my sights on heaven. Today I place love first.

Established in Spirit. I live my deepest values.

[bluidkiti]

October 7

Step by Step

“The spark that was to flare into the first AA group was struck at Akron, Ohio, in June 1935, during a talk between a New York stockbroker and an Akron physician. Six months earlier, the broker had been relieved of his drink obsession by a sudden spiritual experience, following a meeting with an alcoholic friend who had been in contact with the Oxford Groups of that day. He had also been greatly helped by the late Dr. William D. Silkworth, a New York specialist in alcoholism …From this doctor, the broker had learned the grave nature of alcoholism. Though he could not accept all the tenets of the Oxford Groups, he was convinced of the need for moral inventory, confession of personality defects, restitution to those harmed, helpfulness to others, and the necessity of belief in and dependence upon God.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Foreword to the Second Edition,” pp-xv, xvi.

Today, “moral inventory, confession of personality defects, restitution to those harmed, helpfulness to others, and the necessity of belief in and dependence upon God.” With that simple objective, the Twelve Steps guide us to sobriety, serenity, humility and service. We need not complicate or make a mystery of our reasons to seek out AA or how to earn recovery and sobriety. With our admission that we are powerless over alcohol and whatever else we cannot control and a determination and commitment to go to any length to make our lives one without alcohol, and to make it work, nothing exists to complicate our recovery. Today, being drunk 24/7 has had its run. I want sobriety. Today, I begin. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

MAKING PROGRESS

Ninety percent of life is just showing up.

~ Woody Allen ~

Progress is a word of action, but for us it must never be hurried. We are told, "the idea is to make improvement, not finish first at a destination." There's no need to rush. We can take time to think about the direction we're going. Sometimes spiritual progress may seem slow to us, but if we honestly work the Program, that progress is sure.

We can also take the time to examine the progress we have made. When we realize how far we have come, it makes it possible for us to continue. Practicing the Eleventh Step will help us slow down and calm our urgent need to always be rushing around.

I must never stand still. Even when I stop and look at my progress, that is an action that gives me the courage to continue.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.

~ E. H. Chapin ~

Forgiveness is a spiritual process. Little children always justify their hitting and aggressive behavior by claiming “He started it!” Throughout life, we all have justifications for our resentments. We all feel hurt by others at times. Our spiritual journey asks us to face these affronts with a more grown-up mind than we had as small boys. Our immature and undisciplined ego may play a role in how we respond to an offense today.

Much of the time, when we are hurt, another’s actions are not really about us. They are a reflection on the person who did them, not on us. We are not in the center of that picture, and if we take our overgrown ego out of it, we can see that. Sometimes we have to defend ourselves, but we don’t have to hold on to the resentments. Only after we have grown strong enough can we see that our most dignified response is to let the incident be about the other person, and finally forgive that person.

Today I will take my ego out of the picture, let others’ actions reflect on them, and strive to forgive them.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Women’s bodies resonate spiritual messages.
Listen to them.

~ Judi Hollis ~

Our bodies are so much more than what we see In the mirror. They house our soul. They house our history. Our bodies have long memories. All that has happened to them remains in them. We share our bodies with a spirit who is the source of our strength and knowledge.

Oftentimes the messages we get from the spirit are subtle. We barely sense them. When we’re honest with ourselves, however, we admit that we know when our Higher Power has spoken. Some describe the contact as a pinch in the conscience, others as a clutching feeling in the stomach. Tension in the neck and shoulders may be how God gets your attention. The point is, we each must attune ourselves to God’s special way of reaching us.

Why listen to these messages? Because our journey will be helped if we let God decide our path. We have a destiny to fulfill.

I will listen while my Higher Power speaks to me today. I won’t get off track if I stay in tune with my body.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning to accept, to say yes

For a long time I kept hearing myself say no. For instance, No, I am not an addict. No, I don't have mental health problems. No! I'll be fine if you'll just leave me alone.

It's hard, sometimes very hard, but I am now learning to say yes, I have a dual disorder. Why? Because it's true. I have chemical and mental health problems and they have caused many problems in my life for some time. Now I am accepting my illnesses and my need for help to recover. Now I want to get better. I am asking for help and receiving it. For all this I am grateful.

I will meditate on how good it feels to stop denying my problems and start working with them.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

That is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great.

~ Willa Cather ~

Sometimes we may take our Twelve Step program for granted. It’s always been there, helping us find a new way of life instead of the old way of death. It’s been such a constant that we may forget to be grateful for the men and women who came before us, who created this wonderful program of recovery and new life. Many people have made our program what it is. Some found a new sober life and some were lost along the way, but all contributed to our recovery today.

As recovery becomes a way of life, it’s our turn to reach out to those in need. We can be available to newcomers, answering questions, offering friendship, and becoming sponsors. We can be more active in our program, helping to clean up after meetings, offering rides to those who don’t have them, volunteering to visit patients in a hospital or a treatment center.

The torch has passed. As those early pioneers left a legacy for us, now it’s our turn to become part of a joyous tradition of love and support for those who follow in our footsteps.

Today help me remember those who will come after me in recovery. Help me be generous, as those who came before me were generous.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.

~ C.S. Lewis ~

When you are filled with grief over the loss of someone In your life, you may spend days immersed in incredible sadness. You may feel hopeless and helpless. You may even blame your Higher Power for your loss. You may ask others, “Why did this happen? What am I going to do now?” And yet no amount of words or comfort will provide answers to your questions.

During such times, you may feel a great spiritual dis-connect. You may also feel distant and isolated from people. But even though you may feel as if no one understands what you are going through or that your life is harder than others, that is simply not the case. You are not the Victim of a vengeful God, nor are you someone who has been chosen to endure more misfortune than others. The death of another is not personally directed at you; it is a natural part of life.

It Rather than dwell in hopelessness, loss, and despair, reconnect with life. Pray to your Higher Power and ask for guidance and support to get you through this time. Ask others for help. Go to places where there will be others who can support you.

I will rely on the support of my Higher Power and loved ones as I grieve.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The great gifts are not got by analysis.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Lovers often reflect on how they met and when they first realized they were in love. They'll play back the tapes of courtship as if they were analyzing instant replays of a sports play. "Yes, it was then when we first knew we were in love," concludes one. The other disagrees: "No, I still didn't know you well enough and wasn't ready."

The bottom line is they fell in love. Whether it was Tuesday or April or morning, what is most important is that they did grow to love each other. Not by analysis did they learn this love, but by accepting the gift of love they had for each other.

Analyzing people, places, or things may be a great way to reminisce, but we need to remember analysis isn't as important as what we've received. We aren't given gifts for any reasons. We're given gifts because that's what gifts are for.

Tonight I can stop analyzing why I have a nice family, a good job, supportive friends, or great meetings. I can accept them all for what they are—gifts to be appreciated.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Making the stretch

Some of us come into the program and are gung ho for the first three to six weeks. We’re like a quarter horse, good for the short run but not for the long stretch. After we come down from the high of winning our first run, reality and responsibility seep in and we step out, possibly even give up.

So something has to carry us through, and that is our Higher Power, providing we let it. Then, as time passes, we find we no longer feel the need to use drugs. Our Higher Power is what guides us through.

Am I good for the long stretch?

Higher Power, guide me with your loving light for the whole race.

Today I will improve my stamina by practicing

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Similarity is not the same thing as identity.

~ IBO PROVERB ~

Newcomer

Today, I actually heard my story! I don't mean just that I identified with the speaker's feelings, but that many of the exact same things that happened in his life have happened in mine: the place we grew up, the work his parents did, the particular way we first learned to use addiction as escape. He talked about some key experiences that both of us have had. I listened as if I were in a trance. It was a very positive experience for me.

Sponsor

Hearing specific details that match those in our own stories is not a requirement for recovery but it is a gift whenever it happens. About halfway through my first year, I had an experience much like the one you're describing. The way it worked for me was to dissolve the last vestiges of my denial. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing my addiction with perfect clarity.

Differences in gender, age, class, religion, sexual preference, work, language, style—all of these dissolve as I listen to where addiction brought others and how they work their program today. Whatever the specifics, I can identify emotionally and spiritually. But I have also made a special-interest meeting one of my home groups—a meeting whose members share a common interest and a common addiction. Close friends with whom I feel free to share my life in detail abound there; they are a rich part of my life in recovery.

Today, I am open to meaningful connections with others whose lives are centered in recovery as mine is.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics should be the last people on earth to give advice; first, because we never took it ourselves, and secondly, because our past record would not indicate that our advice is trustworthy.

The best advice that we can give is to show the new man that we did it, show him that he can do it just as we did it, that the best way to get "on the Program" is to emulate the example of those who have made a success of theirs.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

When I Question God's Will

There are still times when I feel insecure and uneasy about my life. At those times I question Your will for me. I wonder if I'm being punished for something I have done wrong or I'm not working the Program hard enough. I must hold fast to the truth that I am just where You would have me. I must stop taking control and attempting to force changes I'm not ready for. This is when I lose touch with You. I will be patient and believe answers will emerge at exactly the right time.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE

Many people indulge in some form of daydreaming. There is no harm in this so long as such daydreams are positive and constructive in character. You are always thinking, when you are not asleep, and you know that it is in the selection of your thoughts that destiny lies.

Do not let your daydreams take the form of an escape from actuality. A daydream is an evasion when it consists in fantasying something pleasant that nevertheless you believe could never happen. Such a daydream debilitates the whole mentality.

Some people daydream about all sorts of unpleasant things. They rehearse imaginary quarrels, imaginary injustices, accidents and misfortunes, and because they do believe that such things could happen, and because thought is creative, they actually bring them upon themselves.

See to it that your daydreams are concerned with such happenings as you would really like to find in your life. Know that anything good is possible; remember the creative power of thought; and your daydreams will come true.

A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Frame of Mind

We must strengthen, defend, preserve, and comfort each other. We must love one another. We must bear one another’s burdens. We must rejoice together, mourn together…

~ Puritan John Winthrop ~

Amidst a busy day of errands, I stopped at the local picture-framing store. Steve, the clerk, was an amiable fellow who seemed comfortable telling me about himself. After a few minutes of chit-chat, Steve told me that he was wrestling with the decision to call a friend whose husband had died unexpectedly. "I have been putting it off because I feel so uncomfortable about it," he confessed. "I am afraid that I may say something stupid and be embarrassed. I guess I'm really afraid of death, and I don't want to face it.

I was stunned and moved by Steve's candor. A moment earlier, we were discussing picture frames, and suddenly he was exposing his pain and fear to me. I caught Steve's eyes, and for a moment I could really see him. I saw behind his job and his rap and his fear, and I saw the person that he was. I thanked him for his honesty.

That moment was worth everything to me. It stood out in contrast to a day of unconscious business like a delicate flower growing in a pile of rubble. In that moment, I remembered what friendship and human relations are really about. They are not about stuff and talk and presentation; they are about people joining in the place where we are one.

I once heard that we are most alike in our vulnerability. In that moment, I felt very close to Steve. I hardly knew him, and yet I knew him. While I went into the store for a new picture frame, it was a new frame of mind that I found.

I pray to be open to the tender moments of life. Let me not miss an opportunity to connect with the heart of a brother or sister.

I am one with everyone I meet. I let my heart be touched.

[bluidkiti]

October 8

Step by Step

“In AA, we can begin again no matter how late it may be. I have begun again. At 54, I have had come true for me the old wish, ‘If only I could live my life over, knowing what I know.’ That’s what I am doing, living again, knowing what I know. I hope I have been able to impart …at least a bit of what I know; the joy of living, the irresistible power of divine love and its healing strength, and the fact that we, as sentient beings, have the knowledge to choose between good and evil, and, choosing good, are made happy.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), p 543.

Today, it’s not too late until it’s too late – and it’s too late only when I’ve died. Until then, I have the lifeline and the choice of sobriety, and all I need do is grab and hold onto the lifeline, the lifeline being AA. Even if I cannot yet envision the program’s promises of sobriety if I adhere to the Twelve Steps, I know already and all too well the life I have if I don’t begin anew. In the end, the decision is a matter of choice – to continue in the life of active drinking that I already know with agonizing pain, or to choose something better. Today, I choose something better: it’s not too late because I’m here! And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LIMITATIONS

The four “A"s: Acceptance, Awareness, Action, Attitude.

~ Anonymous ~

It is as important for us to live within our limitations as it is to live up to our capabilities. Step One tells us that we do not have a limit but that we are limited. We admit this when we begin our growth in our Twelve Steps. The action Step, the final one, reminds us that we can only try to practice the principles of our Program in all our affairs.

And, of course, we must accept the truth that we seek spiritual progress, not spiritual perfection. In admitting limitations we are reminding ourselves that we are only human. When we keep ourselves from trying to play God, we admit our imperfections. We seek our Higher Power's help in lessening our limitations when we take inventories and remember the four "A"s: Acceptance, Awareness, Action, and Attitude.

My Program is based on my learning to live with my limitations. I will also remember that I need to live up to my capabilities.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note, tom in two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against the man.

~ Henry Ward Beecher ~

When we have been hurt or offended, we naturally have strong feelings about it. Sometimes we want to leap to forgiveness as a cover for our wounds because we fear the damage to the relationship. In that case forgiveness comes too soon, before we even let ourselves know what we feel. More often, our ego has been bruised and, primitively, it wants revenge. But it is we who carry those angry feelings and nurse our negative inner world. And it is we who must find a way to live in a more positive state of mind.

Some of our angers and resentments may be decades old. No repayment can ever settle the account. Maybe we didn’t get what we needed from our parents, or a former spouse treated us badly, or a co-worker or boss was unnecessarily harsh. We can lighten our burden by simply tearing up the unpaid debt. In a spiritual sense, we can leave the other guy’s conscience to him and his maker. By declaring old debts forgiven, we are free to live in the present as happier, better men.

Today I will strive to let go of old resentments so I can live more fully in the present.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Healing begins with a state of mind.

~ Carol Sheffield ~

The mind gives birth to all our emotions and attitudes. Our anger, our sadness, our joy, our self-esteem are cultivated in the mind. What we tell ourselves, we become. Unfortunately, self-sabotage is often our habit. But whatever is done can be undone. That’s the good news. And the same tool we used to beat ourselves up can be used to undo the harm. We have always been in charge of what we believe about ourselves. The assignment is to change our beliefs.

We can begin by creating positive affirmations and repeating them to ourselves every morning. We can follow this with a commitment to stop every negative thought once it starts. We will succeed with perseverance.

We are lucky, really. When it comes to negative self-talk, we’re no different than other people. That we have a program to help us change our behavior is the luck. Let’s relish our good fortune.

Healing begins with me today. I’ll only be as well as I tell myself I am.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can deal with painful memories

All of a sudden I'll have a memory that really hurts, really scares me. It feels like a sock in the gut that knocks the breath out of me. I have to stop what I'm doing to collect myself. If the memories keep coming, sometimes I want to use.

But I cannot drink or take drugs. I must not. My recovery is too important to me. I've learned that if I use, I cannot deal with my memories nor my other recovery issues. I know there is a better way than using. Abstinence is not easy, but it offers long-term relief and the chance to heal.

I will pray the Serenity Prayer and use physical exercise to help deal with my painful memories.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

One, two, three..., one, two, three....

~ The Program Waltz ~

At a meeting one time, we heard a woman simplify the program in a unique way. She was struggling with many issues all at once. She was having trouble working the Steps. She was wrestling with marital and job problems. She said that what has been most helpful to her is “The Program Waltz.”

This, she explained, is her way of simplifying recovery. Whenever she feels overwhelmed she goes back to the first three Steps: “One, Two, Three,... One, Two, Three....” In this way, she said, she concentrates on the principles that help her most in times of need: powerlessness, surrender, and letting go. These first three Steps help her get centered and remind her of the thoughts and spiritual guidance that help her most.

Sometimes we can end up spinning our wheels in the program and we find we must move on and take a Fourth Step in order to stay balanced. It’s nice to know, though, that the Steps are all available to us, that we can go back and start again when we need to.

Although “One, Two, Three” may not be as effective for all of us, it can be a useful tool for focusing on the basics in our own recovery.

Today I am thankful for the wisdom of those who are in recovery with me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Every time that I think I’m getting old, and gradually going to the grave, something else happens.

~ Lillian Carter ~

How do you view getting older? Do you feel pride and accomplishment when you think of all that you have done or deep regret at all the things you have not been able to do? Do you break out in a cold sweat at the unknown that lies ahead?

Moving into middle age or beyond can sometimes cause you to feel fear and anxiety. You may be overwhelmed with thoughts of retirement and financial security, diseases and infirmities, an increasing dependency upon others, and making end-of-life plans. When you feel this way, try to remember how you felt on your first day in recovery. You were most likely afraid at what was yet to come and full of doubt. Every minute of that first day may have felt as if it were your last.

The same trust and faith you have developed in the program can be applied in ways to help you handle the process of growing older. You can either look forward to the cycles of life you have yet to enjoy and make the most of them, or fear and resist them. It is your choice.

I will resolve not to take the progress of my years too seriously. After all, as it has been said, “You’ll never get out of it alive!"

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The turbulent billows of the fretful surface leave the deep parts of the ocean undisturbed.

~ William James ~

Picture in your mind a calm lake, is surface like glass reflecting the sky and the full trees along its edge. A short distance from shore a flock of geese float smoothly along the surface. With their long necks extended gracefully, they barely create a ripple on the surface of the lake.

That picture is very serene. But below the surface of the water are a bunch of legs furiously churning. This lake scene teaches us a lesson: things are not always as they appear. A smiling face may not reflect a broken heart. A sleeping child may not reflect nightmares being dreamed. An efficient worker may not reflect the nervous approval-seeker. A responsible adult may not reflect the hurting, angry child within.

Tonight we can think about the appearances we reflect to others. Are we like the smoothly floating geese, not letting anyone see our struggles? Tonight, we can learn that keeping up appearances is really for the birds!

I can let down all appearances and let people see how I really feel. I can be honest and show the emotions that are under my surface.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Liking the program

Because most of us who have been around the program awhile like it here, newcomers sometimes mistakenly think that we wanted to be here. They imagine us eagerly waiting to dash into the promised land.

Ha! None of us wanted to come here at first, but how can we help it if we love it in the program now that we’ve found it to be a true way to solve our problems?

Do I like it here?

Higher Power, let me be grateful always for having found this new way of life, but help me remember how the newcomer feels.

Today I will enjoy the program by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

All passions exaggerate: it is because they exaggerate that they are passions.

~ SEBASTIEN-ROCHE NICOLAS DE CHAMFORT ~

Newcomer

Things are terrible; I feel as if I'm in my first day of recovery all over again. Thank God for this program: the one thing I'm completely sure about is that I don't want to go back to using my drug of choice.

Sponsor

It's clear that whatever else happens today, your commitment to recovery is solid. Perhaps you need a day to fall apart, to feel the chaotic swirl of your feelings, to see that much you've thought of as permanent and well-functioning is separated only by the thinnest of lines from sheer nothingness. It might be a great relief.

In recovery, many of us arrive at a place where we just want to run or quit—not quit recovery itself but other aspects of our lives. We may feel as if we've been holding things together, showing up and taking on a lot of responsibility, for some time now. Perhaps we think that if we let go, our part in the world will come to an end.

Many things have a tendency to hold together, whether we attend to them or not. Venting our feelings can give us energy for a fresh start.

Today, I drop my shoulders, I loosen my grip, I vent my feelings.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

A shipwrecked sailor on a desert island may eventually find another in a like predicament, but the poor alcoholic is all alone with himself, even in a world full of alcoholics.

That is one of the most brutal characteristics of the malady that separates us from the world about us and makes us men without a country, without a hope and without a friend.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Four “A's”

Dear God, I have learned to live within my limitations and to live up to my capabilities as I grow in recovery. As I try to practice the principles of our Program, I will accept the truth that I seek progress and not spiritual perfection. I pray to admit my limitations and remind myself I am only human. I have quit trying to play God. When I take my inventory and remember the Four "A’s"—Acceptance, Awareness, Action, and Attitude—I continue learning to live within my limitations and to live up to my capabilities.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

BE SPECIFIC!

Man has dominion over all things when he knows the Law of Being and obeys it. Do not put off your study of the law any longer. Take stock of your life this very day. Write down the things you really wish for. Be specific, not vague. Then write down underneath the conditions that you wish to remove from your life. If you do this candidly, you now have an extremely valuable analysis of your own mentality. In course of time this will tell you a great many things about yourself that you do not at present suspect, and as your knowledge of spiritual Truth increases, you will be able to handle the new knowledge about yourself in a surprising way.

Having gotten your main points in front of you, work on each one separately with all the spiritual knowledge you possess. Remember, it is not really very important how much of this knowledge you have so long as you make use of all that you do have. Repeat this treatment every day for a month, and by the end of that time it will be very unusual if a change for the better has not manifested itself in your conditions.

For those unfamiliar with spiritual treatment, an effective method of working is this: Claim gently but definitely that the great creative Life Force of the universe is bringing each of the needed changes into your life in its own way, in its own time, and in its own form. Do not try to dictate the exact form in which the new conditions shall come about. Do not be tense or vehement. Do not let anyone else know that you are doing this. Do not look impatiently every day for results.

Keep therefore the words of this covenant, and do them, that ye may prosper in all that ye do (Deuteronomy 29:9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Just Changed Addresses

There is no death.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

For a long time, my mother asked me to put up a mezuzah on her doorpost. In the Jewish religion, a mezuzah is a small box that contains a parchment from the Bible. It is placed by the door as a reminder that God is present in the house, and serves as a blessing to those who enter and leave. I put up the mezuzah, but it kept falling off, and because I was not motivated, it ended up in my mother's kitchen drawer until she passed away. Six months after my mom's passing, I received a call from my clairvoyant friend, Carla. "Have you received the present from your mom yet?" Carla asked in a matter-of-fact way. Her question threw me for a loop. "No, I don't recall anything with the postmark, 'Heaven.'"

"You will receive a gift from her soon; I sent it to you. I was in a gift shop in St. Louis, and as I was looking at a certain item, your mom whispered in my ear and told me to get it for you. I don't know what it is, but you will." Several days later, I received Carla's package. When I opened it, I was stunned to find a mezuzah. I put it up quickly and made sure it stayed!

I believe that my mom spoke to Carla from the other side of life to give me a sign that she is still very much alive and present. Although she had passed from my visible sight, she was still my mom, she still loved me, and she was still with me.

When a friend of mine told me that he had just come back from his father's funeral, I told him I was sorry to hear that. "It's okay," he answered. "He just changed addresses."

Life never dies; it just changes forms.

Help me to know that life is eternal. Banish thoughts of death, that I may know the truth of life.

God is alive everywhere. My loved ones are always with me.

[bluidkiti]

October 9

Step by Step

” …’If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.'” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 12 (“Freedom from Bondage”), p 552.

Today, if resentment is the deadliest poison to alcoholics alongside alcohol, I will make a sincere effort to free myself of it once and for all. If “Let Go and Let God” has failed because I have taken back my resentment, I’ll try what is suggested here – pray for the person or thing I resent to receive what I want for myself. Even if I can’t say I am sincere and honest in my hopes for whoever or whatever I resent, I will try for two weeks to pray for the best for them. God granting, after two weeks, the monkey on my back will be gone. Like alcohol and all the garbage that comes with it, as for resentment: enough is enough. Time to get rid of it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CHANGING

All changes, even the most longed for, have [some sadness]; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another!

~ Anatole France ~

Changing negative patterns of behavior has been difficult for most of us. The harder we tried to change ourselves, the less we seemed to succeed. We believed we wanted what was good for us, yet our actions proved otherwise. Our addiction showed us that will power was more of a barrier to change than a help.

Before recovery, we used to read books written on how to become happy, quit bad habits, and improve the quality of our lives. We read the words, believed what they said, and continued to live as we always had.

Now we look to our recovery for an answer. We can let go of our old familiar ways that gave us the illusion of safety. We now see how they were self-defeating.

I have learned in recovery not to be stubborn or afraid of changing. I can live in the present and build a better future.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

You don’t have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.

~ John Ciardi ~

We can think of our life as a poem. We are crafting a meaningful whole out of chaotic experiences. How do we make something worthwhile from what our life has been? We begin by getting honest with ourselves and others. We all have had enough suffering to feel deeply. We all have come face to face with the stone wall of facts we cannot change by our own efforts.

The ultimate creation of a man’s life is in who he becomes. We have lost a lot. We have had sufficient pain, and we are guilty of doing bad things. Now we take that bundle of experiences and ask, what can I learn from them? All that we have done can be turned into something heroic and wonderful. There is nothing more inspiring than a mess of a man who works hard and turns himself into a good person.

Today I will continue my path to creating a life with meaning and quality.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

It doesn’t matter what we have done in the past.

~ Melody Beattie ~

Shame about the past is not unusual, particularly for women like us. It isn’t a productive feeling, however. Shame keeps us stuck, and we have joined this program to grow. Let’s let the past go, accepting simply that it provided us with experiences that have pushed us to new heights of awareness. What we’ve learned from those experiences, if shared, will educate another soul who still suffers.

The twenty-four hours that lie ahead are our only concern now. We can make them productive, fulfilling, and peaceful if we honor each hour. The women and men who come to us today, the events that are triggered by their presence, and the attitude we harbor determine the fruitfulness of any moment. What a thrill to fully realize that our journey has a purpose and an intensity special to the particular lesson each of us needs.

I don’t have to let the past hinder me any longer. I can be free of it, if that’s my desire.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am coming out of denial

At first I couldn't accept the counselor's concerns: In response, I said I didn't have a problem with drugs or alcohol and didn't need her kind of help (strike 1). I insisted to her that I didn't abuse chemicals—that I used them only to help me when I had symptoms of my psychiatric illness (strike 2). I insisted that I was managing my symptoms (strike 3). The facts, of course, were different. I was afraid, in denial, and I didn't understand myself.

Now that I have some time in dual recovery (I'm stable and abstinent), I wish I had listened sooner to that substance abuse counselor. It has been hard admitting a dual disorder—both psychiatric illness and addiction—but since I did, I've felt better, especially through work in my Twelve Step fellowship. I now feel I am honest and no longer working against myself.

Today I will reread Step One in the Big Book and check in with my sponsor.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I was a tiger on the outside and a marshmallow inside.
In recovery, I’m both — but I don’t have to be either.

~ Karen O. ~

When we were drinking or using, many of us were two people. Under the influence, we were sure of ourselves and our opinions. But the next morning, we were our old, scared, and maybe shy, selves again. We thought our drug of choice was a magic potion that unlocked the brave and courageous soul within us. We were convinced we could never be strong without it.

What a surprise to find those different sides of our personality blending in a new way in recovery. The serenity, honesty, and spirituality we’ve found help us choose how to act according to our values and the needs of the situation. With what we’ve learned, we can protect ourselves from people, places, and things that are dangerous to us and our recovery program.

And we can learn to be open with people we trust and care for. Recovery has given us the sanity to know the difference and to handle life in a new way. Now, with the help of our Higher Power, we can be whole.

Today grant me the strength to defend myself, and the strength to be gentle.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Faith is not a series of gilt-edged propositions that you sit down to figure out, and if you follow all the logic and accept all the conclusions, then you have it.

~ Mary Jean Irion ~

Years ago administrators at a high school in California told some of their teachers at the beginning of the school term that their students would most likely experience an intellectual growth spurt by the end of the academic year. At the end of the term, students of these teachers had, indeed, dramatically improved their academic performance.

Administrators revealed that the teachers had been selected at random; there was no particular reason why they or their students had been selected. But because the teachers had expected more from their respective classes, they had subtly communicated this expectation to their students. The teachers showed that they believed in their capabilities, and the students responded to this support. Yet, if the teachers had shown doubt in the students’ success, the outcome would most likely have been different. I When you believe you are incapable of achieving great things, then these are the beliefs with which you will meet any challenge that comes your way. The higher the regard that you have for yourself and your capabilities, the greater the level of your success will be in anything you do.

Today I will create self-fulfilling prophecies that focus on positive achievement and success.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The ideal day never comes. Today is ideal for him who makes it so.

~ Horatio W. Dresser ~

What kind of day did we have today? Are we critical of the day's events or circumstances because they didn't meet our expectations? Based on our standards of perfection, will we ever have the perfect day?

There is no such thing as a perfect day. Today happened just the way it was supposed to, with its imperfections as well as its achievements. If it was a lousy day, it was only because we believed it was a lousy day. By the same token, today was a good day because we believed it was, not because the sun was shining or traffic was light or we got paid.

Every day is different. Some days may be enjoyable experiences while others may be difficult to get through. But each day plays an important part in our development. Instead of judging each day like a teacher grading papers, we can see each day as our teacher. What we learn from the day, as well as the attitude we have about it, is our daily lesson.

Tonight, can I see today as my teacher? What did I learn today?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Slipping

A common rationalization about not making the program goes like this: Harry over there slipped ten times before he made it. So what if I slip a few times?

What is overlooked is that the last time Jack slipped, he slipped into a coffin; the last time Bob slipped, his baby son burned to death in a crib because of Bob’s negligence; the last time Ann slipped, she got strychnine poisoning and became blind; and the last time Jim slipped, he tried to kill his wife and nearly did.

We’re not playing games here. This is a matter of life and death.

Have I stopped slipping?

Higher Power, let me know that it is not only my life but the lives of others that I endanger by playing loaded games.

I will avoid slipping today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

One cannot but be perturbed when fire breaks out in a neighbors house.

~ INDIRA GANDHI ~

Newcomer

There's someone I've gotten to know recently who told me she'd tried the program for a few months last year but didn't like it. One day, she announced that she'd had a few beers the night before. She said it in a tone meant to suggest that it wasn't a problem for her. Now it's clear that her use of alcohol has escalated again; she refers to it in some fashion whenever I see her.

I understand now that I can't force recovery on anyone. But when she mentioned "cleaning up," I said to her, as lightly as I could, "I go to lots of meetings, so if you ever feel like trying one again and want some company, let me know." I hope I did the right thing.

Sponsor

You did exactly what I'd have done. Much as you may have wanted to say more, you made your offer kindly and left it at that. You haven't brought up the issue repeatedly. You haven't let her relationship with alcohol affect your social or emotional life. You haven't "covered" for her, lent her money, or focused on her problems instead of on your work and school responsibilities. You haven't let your concern for her become an obsession.

You can be certain that she heard you. If she ever becomes willing to come to a meeting, she knows that you're there.

Today, I admit my powerlessness over other people's addictions.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

So you killed the goose that laid the Golden Egg? That's too bad. You can't bring it back to life but you can do the next best thing—you can eat the goose. You can't unscramble an egg but you can bake a cake.

It is water going over the dam that drives the machinery. You are an alcoholic—you can't help that fact, but you can use your alcoholism for the benefit of other alcoholics and society generally.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Part of the Solution

Dear Lord, remind me that when I was practicing my addiction, I traveled alone.

No relationship was more important. I was a hostage in a prison of chemicals. The Fellowship and Your guidance has broken that grip of isolation. I pray to remain grateful to the men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope. The Fellowship is a circle of spiritual vitality that energizes me when I'm willing to join hands. Alone I am the problem. Together with others, I am part of the solution.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

BULB AND FLOWER

Who has not at some time or other planted a bulb and enjoyed the pleasure of waiting for the plant to appear and develop, and ultimately produce the glorious flower itself? Notice here that you naturally plant the bulb and expect the flower—the hyacinth or the crocus—to follow. No sane person would dream of planting the flower and expecting a bulb to come up; yet in our general life many of us do just that! We expect to begin with the flower. We think that we shall have desirable states of mind or body—happiness, freedom, health—if only we can change outer conditions in some way. Yet this is really trying to plant a flower, because we are trying to put effect before cause.

The law of the universe is thought first, and then expression; and never can this law be reversed.

Let all things be done decently and in order (1 Corinthians 14:40).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Get Off Your Buts

If you sit in the middle of the road, you will get hit by traffic from both directions.

~ Bryce Courtenay ~

After spending a day with a small group of friends in New York City, we were deciding whether to go to a movie or go home. As we drove along, each person gave their input. "I'll go with the flow," said the first person. "I'm not attached," offered the second. "I'll do whatever the group wants," added a third. I'm just happy," reported a fourth. The driver pulled off the road, turned to face the others, and half irritated, half-humorously, announced, "That's enough! Can't you guys come up with anything but new age platitudes? I need to know what direction to drive this car; this is one of those situations in which everyone is just going to have to be honest. Now, let me ask each of you again. What would you like to do?"

As it turned out, no one wanted to attend the movie, so we all just went home-but not before I learned an important lesson in taking a stand.

When you're honest about where you are, you and others have something to work with. If you're vague or withhold your truth for the sake of pleasing others, it's hard to get anywhere. Even if you're upset or feeling unclear, you serve by reporting where you are. Often simply speaking up moves the energy to the next level.

Sometimes all we have to offer is our current experience, and that is enough. Even if we're not in touch with the ultimate truth of the universe, or if our position changes, we do well to give the driver a direction before he has to pull off the road to ask.

I pray to be clear with myself and others. Give me the confidence to know that where I am is good enough.

I make a stand for who and what I am.

[bluidkiti]

October 10

Step by Step

” …I think there are some of us who, at times, try to read extra messages and complexities into the Steps. …AA is within the reach of every alcoholic, because it can be achieved in any walk of life and because the achievement is not ours but God’s. …there is no situation too difficult, none too desperate, no unhappiness too great to be overcome in this great fellowship – Alcoholics Anonymous.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 11 (“A Flower of the South”), p 395.

Today, no searching for words of eloquence to convince anyone of the redemption, reconciliation and grace of AA and, instead, letting my example serve as its most powerful testament. ” …No situation too difficult, none too desperate, no unhappiness too great to be overcome.” If today I think or feel that I have fallen too deeply too fast, am beyond saving or that the damage I have inflicted is so beyond repair that a new beginning is impossible, let me have if nothing else blind faith to make the call that could be my new beginning. Today, I do not and cannot accept that I am beyond the reach of recovery, and I set out today to start anew. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE PAST

Let Go and Let God. What's Turned Over Turns Out.

~ Anonymous ~

There is a bit of packrat in all of us. We've carried things around with us that should have been thrown away long ago. We have had bad experiences that we can recall in an instant. We play the scene back in our minds and bring up those old feelings, and suddenly we are back in time. We feel the anxiety, anger, and resentment of the moment.

We learn in recovery not to carry the effects of old feelings into our present reality. We ask our Higher Power for the willingness to let go and turn over those memories. All they do is cause us pain and remorse. Our willingness to venture beyond the past into the present is the key to the future.

I will learn what I can from my past. Then I turn it over and put it behind me in order to build my future. I trust my Higher Power to take over all the things I've tried to control.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

In America, sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it is a fact

~ Marlene Dietrich ~

Most of us were given conflicting lessons about sex, and we were often confused about how to fulfill our sexual nature. As young boys, some of us were told that our sexual impulses were bad. At the same time, we were told that sex is a sacred gift from God. Many of us grew up to have regrets about our sexual activities. Some of us were captured by pornography, turning others into sex objects. And sex became a drug of escape for many of us.

Our spiritual goal is to fulfill our sexual and erotic nature in joyful, safe, and respectful ways. We move past our sexual anxieties by accepting the fact that sexual pleasure is God-given. It is simply a fact of life and its value depends upon how it is used. It is neither the path to life fulfillment nor the devil’s creation. When we align our sexuality with the rest of our lives, it is a pathway to connection and intimacy.

Today I am grateful for my sexual nature and will express it in ways that I respect.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I can no longer afford the luxury of blaming others for my choices.

~ Jan Pishok ~

We may long for the years when we felt free to blame other people for our troubled lives. But living so irresponsibly didn’t benefit us. While it might seem overwhelming to shoulder the responsibility for all our choices, every action and reaction, this is the path to emotional maturity. That’s why we are here.

Being accountable for our lives builds our self-esteem. When we first make the decision to be in charge, we may think the responsibility is more than we can handle. But with each conscious choice, we discover our strength and our resolve being enhanced.

We do want emotional, mental, and spiritual health. That’s why we sought recovery. That’s why we have adopted these Twelve Steps as our guide-lines for living. Using them in all our daily affairs promises us the real luxury of growth and freedom from fear.

I am in charge of my choices today. God will never steer me wrong.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel cared about

I didn't think I could talk about my problems. If I did talk, I wasn't sure anyone would listen or care. But I was sure hurting, and desperate for relief.

By getting into treatment for my dual disorder, I have found a way to get that relief. I now have a counselor and a support group. With their encouragement, I have found a Step group and a sponsor. Even all of these helpers cannot fix my problems, but they listen to me and they try to understand. They want me to feel better and this makes all the difference. I no longer feel as alone, unknown, or unwanted—I am very grateful.

I will practice saying what hurts in the supportive environment of my helpers.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Finish each day and be done with it....

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

So often when we’ve had a hard day we dwell on it for a long time, preventing more pleasant thoughts from entering our minds. Peace eludes us and we can think only of the mistake we made, the dumb comment we blurted out, the important errand we forgot.

This is a spiritual problem. First of all, out of the billions of people in the world there is not one other person who is dwelling on our bad day. We stand alone. Yet when we refuse to let go of the day’s problems it’s usually because we think many other people will dwell on what we did or said. We think we are the center of the universe.

It’s also a spiritual problem because, by dwelling on the past, we ignore the gifts of the present and the blessings of tomorrow. Self-forgiveness is the key. If we find this hard at first, it’s okay. God will forgive us, and by asking for that forgiveness, we turn it over to Him and go on with our day. This is not hard to do, and the rewards are a better relationship with God and with ourselves, and the sure knowledge that we’re never alone and always forgivable.

Today help me to see each new day as a chance to begin again with a clean slate and opportunities for joy and growth.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.

~ Andre Gide ~

Imagine the stress Christopher Columbus and his crew felt as they set sail. At that time, the world was largely a place of unknowns. Columbus and his crew knew they were risking death and might never see their homeland and loved ones again. But that did not stop them from beginning their radical adventure.

Risk taking means attempting something new, different, or unknown, without the comfort of knowing what the outcome will be. Being ready to take a risk does nol mean you will not feel nervous or afraid; fear is a natural reaction to the unknown. But fearing and still taking the risk is what risk taking is all about. The most successful risk takers are those who ask two important questions: “What’s the worst possible thing that could happen?” and “What do I have to lose?”

Today, think of a risk you would like to take. First write down what you think you might lose by taking the risk. Then write down what you think you might gain, Keep the gain in mind, and take the risk!

I resolve today to shift my attitude from can’t to can. I will put my fears and doubts aside and take a risk.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I think one must learn a different, less urgent sense of time here, one that depends on small amounts than big ones.

~ Sister Mary Paul ~

Up until the beginning of our adult lives, our growth depended on big moments: graduation from high school, leaving home, marriage, or entry into the job force. Now that we're adults, we still may have expectations that our lives will be composed of big moments,

But things aren't always so momentous. Job promotions happen over time, as do salary increases. The move from apartment living to ownership of a condominium or house comes after years of saving or years of training for the job with the big salary.

It's important to take our time and savor the smaller moments. Those are the moments we sometimes don't pay attention to because they seem minor and inconsequential when compared to bigger moments. Little moments, like small gift packages, can contain the richest and most satisfying rewards.

What are some of the small but precious moments that happened today? Tonight I can appreciate their rewards, even if they're not the biggest I could get.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Growing spiritually

The physical part of our addiction is not the main factor of our illness. Many of us have had allergies to products such as milk, but we didn’t have to join Milk Drinkers Anonymous because we couldn’t stop. The physical part would be of little consequence if it weren’t accompanied by an equally progressive spiritual deterioration.

Because the major contributing factor to substance abuse is spiritual deterioration, the emphasis in recovery is on the spiritual. That is why only two Steps mention the alcoholic and ten talk about spiritual growth.

Is my spiritual progress evident in all my actions?

Higher Power, may the spiritual illumination of the Twelve Steps become a reality for me and help me grow today.

Today, my plan for living spiritually is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

You were born God's original.
Try not to become someone's copy.

~ MARIAN WRIGHT EDELMAN ~

Newcomer

I feel capable and competent today. It's such a satisfying feeling. I got a compliment from someone at work, and for a change, instead of reacting with embarrassment, I knew I agreed. I simply said, "Thank you."

Sponsor

It's wonderful to hear you acknowledging yourself and naming your gifts, learning not to minimize yourself. The real you has been here all along, and so have your talents; what's different in recovery is that there are fewer obstacles in the way of your seeing and accepting yourself.

We each came into the world with our own unique combination of qualities. There is no one else anywhere who is exactly like us. We've survived addiction. Our suffering has made us more compassionate, more capable of valuing our lives.

Our journey in recovery is one of getting to know and value ourselves, of accepting all of us, the good and the bad, of discovering what we were meant to do and who we were meant to be in this lifetime. Some of us go off in different directions from those we took initially; others continue on a previous path, this time with joy and gratitude.

Today, recovery is giving me the chance to be me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Who can estimate the Mozarts, the Shakespeares, the Edisons, the Raphaels or the Jeffersons who stumbled through life in an alcoholic haze and achieved no greater acclaim than the title of "Drunken Bum." Many may have arrived at a drunkard's grave with their talents remaining unsuspected. Their bodies died before their souls began to live.

You may never be a world-beater yourself, but you may say a word to someone else that might revolutionize his life, and that life may revolutionize the world.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Seeking Serenity

Higher Power, when I was using, I chased an elusive thing called serenity. My journeys outside reality brought a false peace. When I returned to reality, I found harshness and pain, which caused me to run back to using. Run, escape, pain, run, escape, pain.

Then something happened. My addiction wouldn't let me escape anymore. All that was left was the pain.

Recovery has shown me reality, not the problem. Trying to escape reality is the problem. Finding You and the Twelve Steps and turning my life and will over to You has created a reality of inner peace and strength. I pray and believe and trust these changes in recovery are necessary and good for me.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR OWN BRAND

You cannot claim too much for yourself provided you claim the same thing for all other human beings. In fact, it is our duty to claim all good things and to continue claiming them until they demonstrate in our outer experience. Of course, this law works both ways and therefore you must be very careful not to claim the negative things that you do not want.

On the western ranches the owner of a steer brands it with his name, "Bar A Ranch" or some such cipher. Then if it should wander into strange territory it will always be returned to him. On the other hand, when an animal without his brand wanders into his corral, he says, "That is not my steer," and out it goes.

Many a foolish person puts his mental brand on a steer that he does not want in the least, and is surprised when the animal stays obstinately at home. People say my rheumatism, my forgetfulness, my poverty, et cetera, branding the steers they do not want instead of turning them out of the corral.

When you really want something' brand it deeply with your own name and it will be yours.

. . . but every one . . . shall keep himself to his own inheritance (Numbers 36:9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

With the Energy

If your morals make you dreary, depend upon it, they are wrong. I do not say give them up, for they may be all you have, but conceal them like a vice lest they should spoil the lives of better and simpler people.

~ Robert Louis Stevenson ~

As I was about to step up to the podium to speak at a church dedication in Virginia, it occurred to me that the service was probably on a strict schedule, and I did not want to exceed my time allotment. I turned to the minister and asked her, "How long would you like my talk to be?" She smiled and answered, "Just go with the energy." I was touched and surprised that she trusted me and Spirit so implicitly.

I have spoken at churches where ministers and board members cautioned me with dire seriousness not to exceed 20 minutes, since some church members complain if the service goes 5 minutes over schedule. I wonder why such people would go to church; is it out of joy and love, or are they simply paying their dues?

Structure and rules help life function more peacefully, but the spirit of an activity is more important than the form. In Hawaii, the colloquial name for Caucasians is Haole, which translates to "without breath." One explanation for the term goes back to the time when white missionaries first conducted church services in the Hawaiian islands. The native Hawaiians observed that the missionaries' practice of prayer was in sharp contrast to the Hawaiians'. While the Hawaiians prayed with song, dance, color, and laughter, the missionary services were somber, rote, muttered and, as far as the Hawaiians could tell, lifeless and "breathless."

The word spiritual implies spirit and aliveness. If we are not bringing vitality and joy to our spiritual path, we are missing its essence. Fear shuts down life, and joy opens it. Move with the energy; things go better when we let life flow.

I pray to make my spiritual practices come alive with joy and celebration. No longer will I worship at the altar of fear. From this dayan, I live from the heart.

My deep trust in life is rewarded with continual miracles.

[bluidkiti]

October 11

Step by Step

” …A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. …
“But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9 (“The Family Afterward”), p 133.

Today, recovery from extended daily drinking will come in time and only if I allow it by total abstinence. It took a long time for my body, mind and spirit to become part of the alcoholic culture; it may take as long or longer to recover. In my zeal to recover, let me understand that my physical recovery may take weeks or months but that my spiritual and emotional recovery will take longer – perhaps a lifetime longer. And until my spiritual and emotional health is back on an even playing field although my body has recovered, I need to realize that the Twelve Steps are the way for me to recover. But should I suspect a need for medical or psychological treatment, let me not be reluctant to seek it out. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FAITH AND TRUST

Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.

~ Anonymous ~

We had only to meet the first person that greeted us in the first meeting we attended in our recovery to know that the Program worked. Our faith in how it works is illustrated for us by the lives of millions of men and women who are recovering.

If we rely on miracles to develop a faith, our Program can be an unlimited provider of them. The real issue for the person in recovery is one of trust, the day-in, day-out, come-what-may trust in a Higher Power. What was discovered by the early members of our Fellowship has been rediscovered time and again in every meeting where members gather to share their recovery: that we can unreservedly trust in God to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

I have learned a new meaning to the word faith: trust in a Higher Power, in the Program, and in myself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~

Mature love is a powerful and wonderful thing that has to be learned in adulthood. Children are certainly capable of loving and receiving love, but they are not yet fully formed as individuals. Adult intimacy is like a bridge spanning the space between two people. When our intimate partner confides in us and becomes vulnerable, our task is to make that moment safe. And when we become vulnerable, we have a right to the same safety—which means no disrespect and no demeaning or abusive behavior. When someone puts trust in us, it is our duty to honor it.

Some of us grew up in families where love was paired with abuse and disrespect. The very people who loved us sometimes deliberately hurt us. As adults we may find ourselves being more decent and polite to strangers than to our loved ones. This becomes our adult challenge: to act respectfully to our loved ones and protect and honor the trust they have placed in us.

Today I will be most respectful of my intimate partner, who is the most vulnerable to me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

What honest heart denies that many delights are based on the premise that others will not, even cannot, do what you do?

~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~

Seldom do our successes come easy, so taking pride in our accomplishments is appropriate. But being grateful for our Higher Power’s help is even more appropriate. This partnership assures us of success, even when we think we have done it alone.

Our culture admonishes us to be self-reliant, independent, strong. None of these qualities are inherently wrong, but they leave us short-changed. We also need to depend on God, to be vulnerable, and to look to other people for support and love, just as they look to us.

No one can do anything in exactly the way we do. And that empowers us. We bring our unique perception to every undertaking, and this vision, coupled with God’s participation, interprets and guides our understanding and our response.

I have an assignment today. Every day, in fact, I am doing God’s work. I’ll have help if I accept it.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can make my needs known

When I experience symptoms of my psychiatric illness, my friends and family can sometimes make the situation worse. I think they get afraid—perhaps because they don't understand me or my problems. Sometimes they want to "fix" my problem (which is not appropriate) or else they expect me to just change the way I feel or behave (which is unrealistic).

In the past I've felt angry and frustrated about this sort of treatment. But now that I've had counseling for a while, I've learned more about my problems and especially about what helps me feel better and get stable again. For instance, when I'm having symptoms, I think I do better when, instead of a fix or a demand, I get some flexibility, a friendly ear, and an open mind.

I will write down two important needs when I'm having symptoms and talk about them with my counselor and a trusted friend.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

What great thing ever came into existence that was not first fantasy?

~ Carl Jung ~

Many of us used to be great dreamers. During active addiction, we often settled for the dream itself instead of working to make that dream come true. It’s true that dreams do come true, but they often require work. Perhaps we don’t feel that we deserve to have our dreams come true. Perhaps we tell ourselves it won’t happen because our dream is unrealistic. Maybe we’re afraid of all the work we’d need to do.

When we have doubts, we can remind our-selves of how much we’ve accomplished so far. Not long ago we were on a one-way street to destruction. Now we are regaining our health, taking care of ourselves in ways we’d not dreamt of before. Perhaps in working toward one dream we will accomplish something totally unexpected, something we hadn’t foreseen, but which was a part of God’s plan for us all along. God has given us dreams for a reason, and He has given us this moment to take a small step toward those dreams, a small step into His plan for us. Now is the time for us to step into life’s great adventure.

Today let me have the courage to believe in my dream.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I have always known that at last I would take this road, but yesterday I did not know it would be today.

~ Narihira ~

Itis not always easy to set goals in your life. Sometimes you may know exactly what you want to do and how to achieve it. Other times you may know what you would like, but have no idea how to get it. And there may be times when you simply do not know what it is that you want.

The best way to approach setting goals is to begin by writing down the things you would like to achieve. Perhaps you would like to speak at a meeting or develop a new circle of friends. Next consider the steps you need to take for each of these things. To speak at a meeting, first create an outline for what you would like to say and rehearse your talk. To make new friends in the program, Attend different meetings, volunteer at a meeting, or arrive at a meeting early so you have time to mingle with others.

When you do this, you create an action plan for achievement. It is one that provides you with direction as well as manageable activities that will lead you in the right direction.

I will consider what I need to do to achieve a goal, rather than focus on a goal.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

~ Will Rogers ~

We may have learned rage at a very early age from an alcoholic parent. We may have found we could manipulate people and distance them by taking off at them like a rocker. We found they had no choice but to take cover or speedily undo what they had done to make us angry.

Today, we may feel a need to fly into a rage because we fear someone will see our human, vulnerable side. Now that we're dealing in feelings, our rage may simply be a symptom of our own frustration in the slow process of recovery.

If a mirror were placed in front of us during one of our rages, we probably wouldn't recognize the person in the reflection. We can do far more harm than good, more damage than repair, and generate more feelings of dislike than like. Do we need to fly into a rage anymore? Tonight we can treat raging behavior as a thing of the past and move on to mature, constructive behavior.

Do I remember my last rage? What did it accomplish? Tonight I can work on new scenarios for old, immature behaviors.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Using the program

Some nonaddicted people accuse us of using our program as a crutch. They are quick to put down what they don’t understand. But let’s question this reasoning. People have to work to earn a living; we have to work our program to live. Is a job a crutch?

A job is a form of support, and our fellow-ship is also a form of support. We need never be ashamed of our glorious fellowship, which has brought so much joy into so many lives.

Do I use the program to the fullest?

Higher Power, may I know that I do not have to justify my program, my addiction, or my existence.

Today I will use the program by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to enough either.

~ GOLDA MEIR ~

Newcomer

I've gotten closer to myself lately. I'm not as afraid to accept the truth of where I've been, and what I've lost. It hurts, though. As I clear up, I can see the wreckage of the past far more vividly than I did even as recently as a few months ago, but I still have a lot of grieving to do.

Sponsor

As I become more whole, I grieve for the lost soul I now see myself to have been. I grieve for the person who was so damaged. I've changed so much; I'm still connected to my previous self but I'm no longer where I was. In a sense, that person has had to die in order for me to be here today, alive and grateful. My past experience is part of what brought me here, and I thank the person I used to be for letting me survive.

For those who are willing, recovery makes it possible to have an intimate, loving relationship with ourselves. Like intimacy with others, intimacy with ourselves opens us to a wide array of feelings. Sober, we risk a deeper experience of feelings we previously tried to avoid.

Today, as I become whole, I grieve for the person I used to be.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We are not in a position to give an opinion on leprosy, jungle fever, hoof-and-mouth disease or other minor ailments like that, but when it comes to the really "big sickness"—hang-overs—we can speak with some authority.

How any piece of mechanism could take the rough treatment we gave our human bodies would make it appear, on the surface, that Nature intended to make us live to punish ourselves in a manner that Nature itself could not duplicate. Outraged Nature could only confine its retribution to the body. The mental and spiritual beating we took was administered by ourselves. That was the most cruel of all.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Fear No More

I will not fear those who have hurt me,
For You have given me power.
I shall sleep without nightmares;
You have given me peace.
I shall awaken with a clear and rested mind;
You have given me clarity.
I shall start my day happy, joyous, and free;
You have given me my recovery;
You have given me a new life.
For Your grace,
I will demonstrate my gratitude
In useful and positive action
Throughout this day.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

FREE WILL OR FATE

The capriciousness of destiny was a favorite subject with the old-fashioned novelists. In their three-volume world, people’s lives were at the mercy of trifling accidents from day to day. A person’s whole life was spoiled because one letter was stolen or went astray. The hero rose from obscurity to wealth and fame through meeting a casual stranger in a railroad car, or through saving someone from drowning at the seashore. One false step ruined an otherwise promising career.

All this is nonsense. We are not at the mercy of accidents for there are no accidents, and trifles have only trifling effects. In the long run your own character makes or breaks you. This is true of the individual, of a nation, of a parry or of any institution.

. . . thou upholdest me in mine integrity . . . (Psalm 41:12).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Don't Wait for Worth

Think not you lack a special value here.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

In all his lifetime, Vincent Van Gogh sold a single painting for a pittance. At a recent auction, one of Van Gogh's paintings sold for $82.5 million-an all-time high for a piece of artwork. Currently four of his paintings are among the ten highest-priced paintings ever sold.

It's ironic that Van Gogh was not acknowledged during his lifetime, and posthumously has become the highest-valued painter in history. This tells me that the immediate reaction or acknowledgment of the world is not always an indication of true quality. Quite often great artists and geniuses are overlooked in the early stages of their careers or during their lifetime.

When setting out to create art, music, or literature, to invent an object or method of service, or to choose a career, consult your own heart rather than the world. If you build your creations around the opinions of others, you will give your power away rather than draw it from within. As you allow your creations to spring from your inner vision, you will be a master of your own destiny and ultimately render great service.

Anyone can plug numbers into a formula. Many movie, television, novel, and song writers play on stock storylines that are sure to sell to the masses; some successful writers crank out plot after plot that simply dress old puppets in new clothing. True art, on the other hand, moves beyond what has been, and invites viewers to look at life from a grander perspective. Here is where originality, spirituality, and vision are called for. Such inventors must play on the cutting edge of their own creativity and call the masses to be bigger than they were.

Allow your genius to come forth uniquely-it is your greatest hope to live your destiny.

I pray to be a channel for fresh and wonderful ideas that bring healing and empowerment.

The mind of God within me creates beauty, service, enlightenment, and success.

[bluidkiti]

October 12

Step by Step

” …(T)he best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations …the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my ‘rights’ try to move in, and they, too, can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my ‘rights,’ as well as my expectations, by asking myself, ‘How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?’ And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level – at least for the time being.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 17 (“Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict”), p 452.

Today, sobriety with respect as a gift instead of a “right” that is no more a right than the ability to drink responsibly, a privilege I have lost. By thinking of sobriety as a gift, may other of my expectations of recovery be realistically framed: that I not expect the daily challenges or problems that non-alcoholics have, that I not feel entitled to a “free ride” without bumps, turmoils, even tragedies. Sobriety must be respected as a gift and not a right, a gift that requires development, nurturing and the constant reminder that it can be taken away – if I neglect it. Today, sobriety is a gift, sometimes fragile. I will handle it with care and respect. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ALTERNATIVES

A person is usually not attached to anything more than their own suffering.

~ Anonymous ~

We all have a choice between widely separated alternatives. We can like ourselves or hate ourselves. We can lift ourselves up or put ourselves down. We can be for ourselves or against ourselves. Actions, attitudes, and thinking determine the direction of our choices. We can have more self-esteem and happiness or we can be depressed and miserable. The negative approach always is the easiest.

It takes little effort to be a sufferer. It is said that some addicted people can never feel comfortable unless they are uncomfortable. Fortunately, we don't have to think unkindly of ourselves, even when we are remembering what kind of person we used to be. We have alternatives. It is wise to take them.

I am responsible for my recovery. I have alternatives and the choices are mine. With the help of my Higher Power, I will make the right ones.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Unknowingly we plow the dust of stars, blown about us by the wind, and drink the universe in a glass of rain.

~ Ihab Hassan ~

Do we find it difficult to make conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves? Does the spiritual plane seem out of reach? All we need to do is open our consciousness to the awesome big picture. We make contact with the ages of the universe by simply drinking a glass of water. The apple we eat is made of atoms and molecules that have been transformed countless times and only at this moment take the shape of an apple. Next they will become part of our human body.

This simple mindfulness puts us in direct contact with the vastness of space and time. Our senses taste, smell, and feel the contact while our rational mind simply feels awe. We were brought into being by forces that we cannot explain, and we will be carried forward on the wave of life. We can accept this ultimate force and relax into it.

Today I will be mindful of my constant contact with powers I cannot understand.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The more we give, the more we receive.

~ Veronica Ray ~

We blame human nature for our desire to get rather than give. There are people who focus on giving, however. We see them at meetings. We probably wonder how these people do it, and why. We’d be wise if we quit wondering and simply tried to imitate their behavior.

We’ve heard the advice “Give it away in order to keep it” often at meetings. In the early days we failed to understand the message. We can’t use that excuse any more. Our insecurity, or perhaps our stinginess, wants to hang on to our possessions, our well-being, our understanding of “how it works.” The paradox is that we’ll lose what we have if we don’t share it with others.

Every episode in our life is an opportunity to share the wisdom we have gained from living the principles of this program. It is no coincidence that we have been given this wisdom. Let’s share it.

I will be willing to share what I have learned with the others in my life today. At least one of them needs what I can offer.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I care about my health these days

In the last few months before I hit bottom with my dual disorder, I didn’t care what I ate or whether I slept. In a way, my body was not important. I seriously neglected my health, especially with my addiction. In a way, I wanted to feel nothing.

But nowadays in recovery, I am paying my body much more attention. I am starting to forgive myself and thus make amends to my body. I am learning that along with spiritual and emotional work, I feel best when I support the physical work of my recovery, too.

I will practice eating healthy food today and get some exercise.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

When you’re through learning, you’re through.

~ Vernon Law ~

Recovery is a series of changes occurring over a period of time. Many people identify the beginning of recovery as the day they stopped drinking or using. That’s a beginning, a turning point, but the disease stays with us. It’s up to us to continue to learn, to continue to work our program, and to let our new knowledge give shape and meaning to our lives.

We may not have been able to comprehend all this a while ago. But the process goes on if we keep learning and growing in sobriety.

We may be unlucky to have been victimized by a lifelong, chronic disease. Sometimes we may feel discouraged as we work at our recovery and encounter new obstacles as we progress. But the fact is that our recovery is unique. By working our program, we can become even healthier than we ever were before our disease took hold. How many other people can look forward to that?

With an awareness of all that can be ours, and willingness to learn, we can find ourselves happier, healthier, and more fulfilled with each new day.

Today help me be open to change and growth in sobriety.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Prayer should he short, without giving God Almighty reasons why he should grant this, or that; he knows best what is good for us.

~ John Selden ~

A Native American belief holds that everyone is a house made up of four rooms—a physical room (the body), a mental room (the mind), an emotional room (feelings), and a spiritual room (connection with a Higher Power). The ideal is to “live” in each room equally, so that “occupancy” of one room is not in an imbalance with the others.

But how often do you live in only one or two rooms? Perhaps the room you visit the least is the spiritual room. This may be based on a spiritual disconnect that has gone on for a long time in your life, or may simply be because you are uncertain of how to develop a connection with your Higher Power.

Any spiritual connection begins with prayer. You can use familiar prayers from your youth or repeat a positive affirmation or a favorite slogan from the program. You can ask your Higher Power to watch over those people in your life who matter most to you. But what is most important is that you begin to spend more time in your spiritual room. Dust it off, tidy it up, and make it a comfortable space that you enjoy visiting.

I will set aside time each day for prayer.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

If you are too busy to pray, you are too busy.

~ Anonymous ~

Our growth depends on our mental, physical, and spiritual health. Yet too often we may spend more time on physical and mental growth than on spiritual growth. When this happens, all three suffer.

Through recovery, we may find we've been able to set aside time for hobbies and relaxation and for eating right and getting enough rest. Yet our spiritual side may be easily sacrificed due to time constrains. A little extra sleep in the morning may mean we have to skip our morning prayer and meditation. A long night of socializing, and our sleepy minds may opt for rest rather than a few moments of prayer.

When we start to cut back or postpone our spiritual times, we're eventually going to harm our mental and physical sides. We need to allow time for prayer and meditation and be able to stick to that time—no matter what!

Do I pray on a regular basis? Tonight let me spend time in prayer and meditation to benefit my mental and physical health.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Putting first things first

When we have loved ones who are also in the program, we must constantly remind our-selves where our priorities lie. We are told not to interfere in family members’ pro-grams. We have to take care of our own ad-diction first before attending to the affairs of others.

Once we turn our attention to loved ones, the same principle applies. We must respond to the addict in them first and then attend to other matters. Our responsibility to the addict in people must come first, or we may lose sight of our true priorities and mess up our own lives as well as theirs.

Do I put first things first?

My messages come from my Higher Power first. May they flow through me and then spread to loved ones and to all other areas of my life.

Today I will reassess my priorities and

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

It is better to protest than to accept injustice.

~ ROSA PARKS ~

Newcomer

I've started to realize that I'm not being paid adequately for my work. I don't know if it's possible to change that in my current position, but it's making me see that I've undervalued my abilities for a long time now, and that has led others to undervalue me as well. In the past, because of my low self-esteem, I always told myself that I was lucky to have any job and I couldn't afford to rock the boat. Now I'm beginning to see things differently.

Sponsor

We deserve to be appropriately compensated for the work we do. There are some fields and positions in which the degree of financial compensation is limited, but the other rewards are great; we may choose work that pays less than we'd like but that allows us an opportunity to do something we love. Each of us must determine our own priorities. We need to be honest with ourselves about whether we're being appreciated or simply exploited; whether we're accepting the reality that there's a current market value for what we do or are too timid to ask for what our work is worth. Change is always possible.

Today, I take an honest look at my relationship to work. If I'm dissatisfied with the work itself or the way I'm being compensated I take a step in the direction of change.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

There can be no liberty for any man unless he is free, and he can never be free as long as he is a slave to anything, save God himself.

If a person subjects himself, body and soul, to the Will of God, then he is indeed free, for then God resides in him and he in God. They become to a more or less degree one and the same. Blended into a-perfect oneness above all earthly domination and as free as God himself is free.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

God Is Our Shelter

God is our shelter and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble.
So we will not be afraid, even if the earth is shaken
even if the seas roar and rage,
and the hills are shaken by violence.
The Lord Almighty is with us.

~ Psalm 46: 1-3, 11 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

GOD WORKS WITH JOY

Don't pray or meditate as a duty. Realize that prayer is a visit with God and should be joyous.

Neither must you pursue your secular activities as necessary duties to be gotten over, that you may return to your prayer. In the light of Truth, there are no secular activities.

You must have regular recreation or you will become stale. Recreation, also, is to be enjoyed—as an expression of God—and not as a task to prepare yourself to pray better. An understanding joy in living is the highest prayer of all.

. . . in thy presence is fullness of joy . . . (Psalm 16:11).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Honesty and Truth

Ah, love, let us be true to one another!

~ Matthew Arnold ~

Do you know the difference between honesty and truth? Honesty means that your words and deeds are consistent with your experience. Truth means that your expressions are consistent with reality.

EST founder Werner Erhard did an experiment in which he gathered together various groups of people who knew each other and asked one person to sit in the center of each group. The people in the circle were asked to express their feelings and reactions to the person in the center. The group members spoke in turn, over and over until they had each communicated all of their deepest and most personal feelings.

Werner discovered a consistent pattern—the initial responses were usually negative communications: "l am upset about this” and "I don't like when you do that." At a certain point after each person had exhausted expressing their upsets, they began to spontaneously express their appreciation for the subject. Finally, nearly every person, without any coaching, spontaneously communicated, “I love you.”

This experiment tells me that at the core of our being we really love each other and we seek to express that love. Our fears and upsets cover the love at the center. When we honestly bring our upsets into the light, we unveil the love that was hidden. When these group members told of their angers and irritations, they were honest. When they declared their love, they were telling the truth.

We must be honest before we can be truthful. you cannot express the truth of love if you are harboring major areas of unspoken pain or upset. Be unafraid to speak of your upsets. lf you hold your communications with the intention of healing and awakening, they will bring you to the love that is the truth.

Show me the truth of my love.

I speak from the heart and illuminate the truth.

[bluidkiti]

October 13

Step by Step

“A ‘spiritual experience’ to me meant attending meetings, seeing a group of people, all there for the purpose of helping each other; hearing the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions read at a meeting, and hearing the Lord’s Prayer, which in an AA meeting has such great meaning – ‘Thy will be done, not mine.’ A spiritual awakening soon came to mean trying each day to be a little more thoughtful, more considerate, a little more courteous to those with whom I came in contact.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 10 (“It Might Have Been Worse”), p 381.

Today, if somewhere in AA I have become even “a little more courteous to those with whom I came in contact,” I may not yet realize I have experienced a spiritual awakening. And to experience such an awakening, maybe I can understand the spiritual component of the program even if I still think I have no faith. To have a spiritual experience even if it is something as seemingly minor as being a little more courteous to other people, logically requires a spiritual belief – even if I cannot or will not acknowledge it. Today, if I can honestly see even a small change in myself for the better, I may be starting to see the possibility of a power greater than myself. If so, I’m on the right track toward recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

REMEMBER WHEN

We can be positive that our active addiction was negative.

~ Anonymous ~

The memory of our First Step is a memory we want to keep always fresh in our minds. The First Step asks us to "remember when."

We never leave our First Step. It is current history. It is now. We will hear in meetings someone tell a story of relapse. "After three months, I went out. . . . After six months. . . . After one year. . . ."

We never outgrow our First Step. In fact, we never have more than one day of abstinence. We all have one more relapse in us, but do we have one more recovery? We go to meetings first and foremost to remember who we are and what it used to be like. When we want to go to a meeting, we can walk; when we don't, we should run.

I will always "remember when." When I forget about my First Step, I am destined to repeat it again.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help.

~ Thomas Fuller ~

In the Serenity Prayer, we pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we cannot. That distinction can be hard for many of us to recognize. When we finally see the reality clearly— that some things we face cannot be controlled by our own will or fixed by force—new possibilities open up to us. When we stop trying to move a mountain, our relationship to the mountain changes. We start to live at peace with the mountain. At the same time we can take greater responsibility for those parts of our lives that we can change.

Peace of mind comes from accepting what we can do nothing about and taking responsibility for what we can.

Today I pray for the wisdom that helps me know the difference.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We know our greatest anger, as well as our deepest love, in our roles as daughters, sisters, lovers, wives, and mothers.

~ Harriet Lemer ~

Denying our anger is not unusual. We were trained well in our families to deny anger and repress other feelings, such as love. We are suffering from the repercussions of that training now.

It is okay to be angry, but how we deal with anger is important. Using it against ourselves or to manipulate others is not healthy. Acknowledging anger is the first step to being free of it. That sounds easy, but if we were raised to deny anger, admitting we feel it is risky. Our sponsors and friends who share this program are role models we can follow. There is a lot of hard work ahead of us in recovery if we’re angry. But if we weren’t ready for it, we wouldn’t be here. We get the opportunities for growth that we are prepared to handle. Let’s trust our feelings and share them all at last.

It is safe to talk about my anger today. I will be honest with those I can trust. My happiness is tied to my honesty.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to take more responsibility for my recovery

At first I didn't want treatment at all. I felt sorry for myself because of my problems—I didn’t like my moods or the way I was drinking—but I wasn't willing to do much about them. I didn't think they were serious.

But a trip to detox helped to change my mind. Finally I could admit to my dual disorder and I could face my need to deal with it. Nobody can recover for me. My doctor or counselor or group or sponsor or friends can offer guidance and support, but it is up to me to follow through and make the changes. With the help of my higher power, I will do what I need to do.

I will meditate on how I can strengthen and support my recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Character is a victory, not a gift.

~ Ivor Griffith ~

When our “King Baby” attitude rears its head, we want our life to be in order— NOW. It is inconceivable to us that our character needs changing: “Surely my wife is causing my anguish;” “If you knew my kids, you’d see why I drink.”

But somewhere down the line we wake up and learn that our character might need a little more fixing than we thought. If we are honest with ourselves we must admit we can be bossy, and yes, we like things our way.

But now we’re growing serene enough to realize that others have problems, too. The kids are struggling with the same things we struggled with, and in a world more complicated and dangerous than ours. If we’ve been lucky, our spouse or partner has stuck with us all this way, even though it hasn’t been easy or the way they would have chosen.

Life would be easier if things always went our way, but now we are equal to the challenge of compromise and capable of redirecting our attitudes. Now that we have been given back our self-respect, it’s time to give our respect and understanding to others.

Today help me see my arrogance and inflexibility. Help me bend to another’s needs when it is warranted.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

A child’s attitude toward everything is an artist’s attitude.

~ Willa Cather ~

Imagine that you have set aside a few hours to take your children to the park. To provide entertainment, you pack a bag with things to keep them occupied—some balls, a game, and art supplies. When you arrive at the park, the children want to run around in circles chasing each other, roll and tumble on the ground, and look up at the clouds. They do not need a planned activity; all they want to do is play.

When you look at the world through a child’s eyes, you will see a world of freedom and creativity, where there is no concept of time or reality. It is a world in which anything can happen, if you only wish it or imagine it.

Play is an important part of life—both for children as well as for adults. If all you are doing in your life is working at your job, your relationship, and your recovery, then nil you are doing is working. There needs to be some time in your life in which you offset the seriousness of work with spontaneity. There is wonder, marvel, and magic in life. Take time to engage in playfulness, and you can rediscover the fun in life.

What can I do today to help me feel as happy and carefree as a child?

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I could almost dislike the [person] who refuses to plant walnut trees because they do not bear fruit till the second generation. . . .

~ Sir Walter Scott ~

There once was a man who wanted to give up his high-salary job to start a Christmas tree farm. He told his friends about his dream. The first thing they asked him is how much money would he make. “A lot," he said, "once it gets started." "How long will that take?" they wondered. "Years," was his reply. “First I have to purchase the land, then prepare the soil, then plant the seedlings, then tend them with care until they mature. By the time I'm forty-five," he concluded, “I’ll have my first Christmas trees to sell."

None of his friends could understand why he would want to take a risk on such a long-term venture. But deep down inside he knew this was his dream and this would make him happy. It didn't matter how long it took for him to get what he wanted. What was important was that he was working on his dream.

Do I have any long-range dreams I believe will never happen because they'll take too long? Tonight I can visualize my dream and take the first step toward making it happen.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

People-pleasing

People-pleasing! Why do we spend so much time and energy trying to please other people? We sometimes find ourselves saying yes to every request made of us. Perhaps we try to please people in exchange for affirmation. Perhaps we feel guilty about our past and want to make up for it. Or maybe we just need to be in the limelight.

People-pleasing or being yes-people only hurts us. What is not coming from our hearts and is not done in the true spirit of loving is only another game of martyrdom or egoism. We are learning not to play these games any longer.

Do I serve others from the heart?

Higher Power, I need not please those around me to be a nice person, but I do need to serve others through you in the true spirit of love.

Today I will examine my true feelings about

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.

~ RITA MAE BROWN ~

Newcomer

I spoke up at work about a situation that I'm starting to find unacceptable. A person in a position superior to mine speaks to me in a way that's disrespectful. I'm good at the work I do, but this person is always tearing me down. I told her that I wanted her to treat me differently, and she seemed surprised and then defensive. When I was talking to her, I felt calm, centered, and strong. When I got home, I was shaking. I feel as if I'm going to be punished.

Sponsor

Each time we represent ourselves as people whose needs deserve to be taken seriously, we're strengthened. In time, it becomes second nature. We're less likely to let unacceptable situations build up over a long period of time; we recorganize and address them promptly.

At first, we may have experiences like the one you describe: we're able to assert ourselves, but then suffer a kind of emotional "backlash." Maybe we've always taken what others dished out and have accumulated reserves of anger, or maybe we unleashed rage beyond anything the current situation merited. In either case, we reacted inappropriately, inviting others to retaliate. As our self-esteem is strengthened by recovery we're no longer able to participate silently in unacceptable situations. I want to congratulate you for having the dignity and the courage to speak your truth, and to do it in a calm, undramatic way. Eventually, you'll lose the need to inflict punishment on yourself for speaking up.

Today, I'm neither a victim nor an aggressor. I'm proactive in my life.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

What will be the ultimate result if AA becomes too attractive? It is felt now that some people are joining our ranks, not because they have a major drinking problem, but because they fear they have alcoholic tendencies. Our meetings are interesting, friendly and informative. Will AA degenerate into a Social Club and cease to be the last refuge of the suffering alcoholic?

Will we find eventually that we have too many "enjoying" AA and too few fully appreciating the “responsibilities" that attend our membership?

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Our Faithful, Unchangeable Friend

How good is the God we adore,
Our faithful, unchangeable friend!
His love is as great as His power,
And knows neither limit nor end!
Our Creator, the First and the Last,
Whose Spirit shall guide us safely home,
We'll praise Him for all that is past,
We'll trust Him for all that's to come.

~ by Joseph Hart ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TACKLING THAT BUGBEAR

When what seems an especially difficult problem or a great emergency presents itself, many students of Truth start by thinking, “This is very serious," and then proceed to brace themselves mentally for a supreme effort; and plan to pray exceedingly “hard” in order to meet the difficulty.

All this is quite wrong. It simply builds up the problem into something far bigger than it was originally. The right attitude, the one that bring Victory, is to think “God can and will solve this problem.”

Instead of speaking the Word from the low altitude of fear and limitation, and trusting to effort to magnify the Lord, stop thinking of the problem altogether, and rise in consciousness. Having now attained a higher level—speak the Word gently from that level, and your problem will be solved.

For the word of God is quick, and powerful . . . (Hebrews 4:12).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Mirror's Gift

We think in secret and it comes to pass; Environment is our looking glass.

~ James Allen ~

One day while living in a farming community, I sat on a porch and watched Pete the duck quack at several people on their way to lunch. As the first lady, a singer, passed Pete, she exclaimed, "Why Pete, how nice of you to sing me a morning song!" The next person was somewhat overweight. When Pete quacked at her, she retorted, "Always quacking for more food, Pete-it's about time you got serious about your diet!" The final person to pass was a cerebral intellectual. When Pete quacked at him, he responded, "Questions, Pete, always questions! How about some answers for a change?" Meanwhile, Pete just went on quacking.

Each of us sees the world not as it is, but as we are. The world we experience is a direct result of the vision we are using. If we see a cruel and threatening world, we are filtering it through cruel and threatening thoughts. If we look upon a world of beauty and delight, we must hold those thoughts to create that perception.

At any moment, we can choose which vision we will employ and which world we will live in. Even if we have chosen dark or painful thoughts, we can shift our vision and immediately transform our experience. The world we see reflects the thoughts with which we build it.

Show me the beauty, goodness, and purity that reflects my true self.

My vision is God's. My beautiful thoughts create a beautiful world.

[bluidkiti]

October 14

Step by Step

“My alcoholic problem began long before I drank. My personality, from the time I can remember anything, was the perfect set-up for an alcoholic career. I was always at odds with the entire world, not to say the universe. I was out of step with life, with my family, with people in general. I tried to compensate with impossible dreams and ambitions, which were simply early forms of escape. Even when I was old enough to know better, I dreamed about being as beautiful as Venus, as pure as the Madonna and as brilliant as the president of the United States is supposed to be. I had writing ambitions, and nothing would do but that I’d write like Shakespeare. …Inside, I went right on being a mass of unlovely self-pity, queasy anxiety and sickening self-debasement. Naturally, I succeeded at nothing.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 13 (“Stars Don’t Fall”), p 400.

Today, understanding that my alcoholism was rooted long before my first drink. My “job” of being perfect in everything, whether I expected it of myself or it was expected by others, left no room for other than “self-pity, queasy anxiety and sickening self-debasement” when I failed to reach perfection. And alcohol became my self-medication. Having come to AA, God grant that I understand now that I can attain something higher in sobriety and that perfection can never be attained and, when it isn’t, I do not have to internalize a sense of failure. To do so will likely ignite that engine of “self-pity, queasy anxiety and sickening self-debasement” – and its fuel is alcohol. Today, I ask only for progress: perfection can wait another day. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LETTING GO

I can't handle it, God. You take over.

~ Anonymous ~

The life we lived in the dark world of our disease was a terrifying one. It was as if we were perched on a tiny ledge thousands of feet up the side of a mountain. The drop was straight down. We never dared to look up or down because we so desperately feared falling. All we could do was feed our disease and tremble in fear. We were stuck. There was no room on our ledge for anyone else. We were all alone. Every day, little bits and pieces of our perch would fall off. All we could do was wait.

Finally, out of desperation, we looked up and saw thousands of people urging us to climb. They reached down and created a human chain for us to climb. All we had to do was let go of our perch and take the hands extended to us. We stood, looked up, let go, and took the hands. We were safe.

I'm not stuck any more. I've let go of my fear and accept help when I need it.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

If allowed, time and nature will heal you. Remember that you do not have to heal yourself. Nature is ready to do it if you step out of her way and do not present her with those unnecessary obstacles, despair and disappointment.

~ Dr. Claire Weekes ~

The Second Step tells us that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. This is the hope Step. It tells us that we don’t have to do it; in fact, we cannot do it ourselves. We only have to allow ourselves to receive the help that is flowing toward us right now.

Despair was a common feeling while we were caught up in our codependency and addiction. We knew no other path than to rely on ourselves, and we were defeated. The recovery path gave us a new way to go. Now we need to avoid returning to the old ways or to hopelessness. This new path calls upon us to step out of the way, welcome the healing power, and accept the hope that our recovery will proceed.

Today I will make the choice to be hopeful and accept the healing power of nature.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Love is a powerful thing, but does it always kick in to save the day when you feel things are hopeless?

~ Chris DeMetsenaere ~

When we first get into recovery, it is hard to understand love—how it feels, how to give it, and how to accept it. Most of us have used the pretense of loving someone as our excuse for trying to control that person. It can be painful to realize that genuine love means letting our friend or lover or child go, letting that person make decisions or mistakes independent of us. But each day we are given is time we can use to nurture this realization into acceptance.

As our understanding grows, so does our aware-ness that nothing is ever hopeless. We begin to see that love not only comforts and frees us but also can soften the harsh edges of any brittle reality. Love is a choice we can make in any situation. But best of all, the more we focus on giving love away, the smoother our experiences will be.

I will offer my love freely today without falling into the seductive trap of control. I will remember the paradox: to have genuine love for another person means to let go of that person.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning about a higher power

I was OK with having a leader in my group at the clinic, but I didn't know about this "higher power" they talked about in my new Twelve Step group. I like to think I can take care of myself. I don't much trust people to do things for me. Besides, I haven't believed in God in a long time.

That was my initial reaction. But, as often happens, I'd quickly overreacted. After a while, I learned that a higher power (or by other names, HP, "higher helper," or "source of help") doesn't have to mean "God." HP can mean almost anything—the group itself, an individual member, or simply my program. All I have to do is to believe that the power I've chosen is stronger than I am and that it can help me get better.

Today I'll take five minutes to think about who or what is helping me in my dual recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Write the wrongs that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble.

~ Arabic proverb ~

How often do we have a wonderful vacation, receive praise at school or work or home, or meet a very special person, only to forget those things when something goes wrong? When we are happy about something, like the food at a new restaurant, we will often tell a few people about it; but when we are not happy, we tell everyone around us. This is a way we hang on to the bad and let go of the good things that happen.

It can be the other way around. Memories are like savings accounts. When we dwell only on negative attitudes, we build a negative balance that can sour our outlook on life. If we spill a glass of lemonade at a picnic, we can blow up over it or simply clean up the spill and go on enjoying the picnic.

We don’t have to ignore the negatives and problems in our lives. We need to pay attention to them so we can learn and make appropriate changes. But when we nurture and treasure the positive memories, we build a strong foundation of gratitude and serenity for ourselves.

Today help me to be aware of the good things that happen in my life. Help me to be aware of my happiness, however small it may seem, and share it with those around me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I can only wait for the final amnesia, the one that can erase an entire life.

~ Luis Buhuel ~

It is rare that a person in recovery has wonderful child-hood memories. More often than not, your memories oi the past are so painful that you feel it is best to not think about them at all. But until you fully come to terms with these memories, they can influence your behaviors in the present and prevent you from engaging more fully with your life.

One way to release the past from its influence in the present is to create a memory journal. In this journal, record each of your memories from the past. Take one memory at a time, striving to remember everything you can, even if it is difficult. Then write what this memory taught you. This is the lesson you have brought with you into the present. Ask, “Is this memory serving me well now?” If it is not, then write down ways in which you can reframe this lesson in a way that will have a positive influence. Rather than think, “I learned people will hut I me,” you can reframe this to “People in the past hurt me, but that does not mean everyone will.”

I will reframe my memories so I can take positive action.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There are three things that only God knows: the beginning of things, the cause of things, and the end of things.

~ Welsh proverb ~

We learn when we enter the program that we didn't cause our disease, we can't control it, and we can't cure it. Those are the only answers we're given. It's up to us, in our hearts, to place trust and faith that a Power greater than ourselves will take care of the rest of the answers.

Many times we may feel overwhelmed by the disease. We may want to scream at the unfairness of the changes we have to make and at the patience and detachment required of us. We find it's not enough to confront the root of our problems; now we need to look at more than just the problem. But we don't have to do all the work in one night. Tonight we can find relaxation amidst the effects of the disease. There's hope tonight, if well only open our hearts to believe that.

Tonight I can trust I don't need to feel overwhelmed by my disease. My Higher Power won't ever give me any more than I can handle.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being cured

It’s easy for friends and associates to see us as people who are super-sober, super-clean. They think we have the problem licked, that we’re cured. This is shown by their uneasiness when we say, “I am an alcoholic; I am an addict.” They would prefer us to say, “I was.” We would like to believe them, but in our hearts we know that it’s not possible for us to drink or use any longer. By saying we are addicted, we remind ourselves of who we are and where we came from.

Am I grateful for being clean and sober, even though I can never be cured?

Higher Power, grant me the acceptance to understand that I am not cured. Relieve my temptation to believe those well-meaning people who are convinced that I am no longer an addict.

Today I will enjoy being clean and sober by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The birds' song gets on my nerves.
I feel like trampling every worm.

~ PAUL KLEE ~

Newcomer

I try to refrain from violence, even the violence of making certain kinds of comments to other people. But it's tough. My Higher Power seems to be putting a succession of people in my path who go out of their way to be rude or crude, to charge me extra, or to humiliate me in some way or other. How can I love everybody?

Sponsor

It's fascinating to me to watch how the outer world always seems to mirror my own mood. For me, it's the best way to explain the fact that there are times when everyone I meet in the course of my day seems pleasant, kind, and generous, and other times when i find enemies everywhere.

Al-Anon's "Three C's" remind us that there are circumstances and behaviors that we didn't cause can't control, and can't cure. We're powerless over an active alcoholic's rage, for example. We can't make traffic go at the speed we think best or force others to conduct themselves as we'd like.

But other things being equal, our state of mind has some power to affect people around us. Our facial expression, body language, tone, and words make our feelings apparent. Our moods are contagious. If we meet the world with anger, resentment, fear, or negativity, the world will usually respond in kind. A smile, a buoyant heart, and an optimistic outlook will usually evoke positive responses. And whatever is out there, we have a choice about where to direct our attention, whether to focus on what's sunny or dark in our environment.

Today, I'm mindful of how my words and attitudes affect others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The bootleggers in Prohibition days devised the very worst tasting concoction ever devised by man, added alcohol to it and sold it to us and we drank it.

Remember the routine? First we would shudder from stem to stern; then hold our breath and throw it down; then we would cough and choke nearly to death and after wiping our chins we'd say "****, that's good."

If you could sell yourself that kind of a story, selling yourself on the idea that you don't have to drink should be a cinch.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

A Triumphant Heart

Give us, O Lord, a tireless heart,
So no false accusation may drag us down.
Give us a triumphant heart,
So no hardship can wear us out;
Give us an honest heart,
So no unworthy thought may tempt us.
Grant upon us also, Our Creator,
Understanding to know You,
Persistence to seek You,
Wisdom to find You,
And faithfulness that we may embrace You.

~ Adapted from writings by St. Thomas Aquinas ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

DON'T HURRY TFIE CHICKEN

A city child was spending his vacation on a farm. They showed him a hen sitting on a nest of eggs, and told him that some day a little chicken would come out of each egg. The child was delighted at this dramatic idea, and every morning he went around expecting to see the miracle.

Days passed, and nothing happened. The eggs still looked exactly the same. Not the slightest change occurred in the appearance of things, and gradually his faith waned. At last one day he told himself bitterly that he had been deceived.

Next day, however, from habit he went around to the nest as usual, but without any hope; and behold, what was his joy to see a flock of little chickens running about.

Of course wonderful changes had been taking place all the time, behind the shells, but there was nothing to show for it until the very last moment. Some of our greatest demonstrations come to us like this. In this story it was the spectator who lost faith, and so it did not matter. If the mother hen had lost her faith—well, there would have been no chickens, Give your demonstrations time to hatch.

And let us not be weary in well-doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not (Galatians 6:9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Connect with Source

Anyone who is too busy to pray is too busy.

~ Anonymous ~

Imagine a deep-sea diver in a diving suit with a long lifeline connected to his boat at the surface of the ocean. As the diver walks the ocean floor exploring the marvels of the deep, his life-support tube delivers a steady flow of vital oxygen to him. If his air tube becomes clogged or cut off, the diver will be unable to function; he will probably panic, flail, try to return to the surface, or expire.

We are like divers in earth suits, exploring the wonders of life on this planet. The earth is not our home; we are visitors here. Our true nature is not physical, but spiritual. We, too, have a life-support tube, and that is prayer, meditation, or any other form of communion with our Source. If our supply of spirit is cut off, we will not live well or long. Our connection to God is as important to our soul as the diver's supply of air to his body.

Each day, take time to feed your soul. Make your first priority any activity that nourishes your inner being. Pray or meditate, practice tai chi or yoga, walk in nature, play music, dance, read uplifting words, or share meaningful talks with friends. Any activity that renews your spirit is a form of prayer.

Commit to your spiritual practice first. Devote the beginning of your day to self-renewal. Your day will go better, and the time that you invest will pay for itself a thousand fold. Again, before you close your eyes to go to sleep, be with God. Feed your soul; it is your most important meal of the day.

You are my first priority. Knowing You makes all the difference in my life and my world. Knowing You is knowing myself. Be with me today, that I may be with You always.

Nourished by the spirit of love, my heart is whole.

[bluidkiti]

October 15

Step by Step

Today, quiet the noise of my mind and stop the traffic of racing thoughts just for today. I will not mourn or lament losses that my drinking inflicted and instead will be grateful that the losses weren’t. I will not cling to regrets for amends that I can never make and instead believe that being sober is my strongest and sincerest apology. I will not shield myself behind that wall of self-imposed isolation and instead take a chance that I have something to offer to someone else and that they have something I can learn. I will not live in the problem of fighting not to drink and instead will live in the solution of living sober, and I will not expect more of myself and anyone else than can be reasonably expected. I will not judge anyone or anything lest their judgments condemn me, and I will not waste valuable time on taking anyone else’s moral inventory and focus on my own. Today, I will simply be and not resist the good that is yet to come. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ATTITUDES

The great scorer . . . marks not that you won or lost, but how you played the game.

~ Grantland Rice ~

When we are told that "some are sicker than others," we are reminded that we might also say, "some of us are more well than others." Both statements are correct. We remember that "we are not bad people trying to become good, but are sick individuals trying to get well, physically, mentally, and spiritually."

All of us who remain abstinent, grow, and make positive changes in recovery are winners. But there is no competition with others in the Program. We all work together, as a team. Most of us do not consider those who relapse as losers. More aptly are they called "quitters." Each member "plays the game" by simple rules and to the best of an individual's ability.

There is no scoring, no giving of grades, and no graduation in the school of recovery. How I work the Program is up to me, and determines the quality of my recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The older I get, the more convinced I am that the space between communicating human being can be hallowed ground.

~ Fred Rogers ~

When two people sit down and talk, things change. Our true nature is basically revealed in our relationships with others. Starting from infancy, the protection we needed to survive came through our relationships with others. That’s how we were formed into human beings. We continue to need that connection in adult forms for our whole lives. To be human is to be in relationship. That’s where we learn to know ourselves. That’s where we grow and deepen and change. We truly become human by the impact of our communities, our families, our friendships, and our love relationships.

If we carefully weigh what we let others know about us, we remain isolated. In that state, we only recycle our single internal conclusions over and over again. But when we let others in and allow them to communicate with some of our best and our worst parts, we step onto a dynamic hallowed ground with rich opportunities for growth.

Today I will talk to someone about some of my personal thoughts and feeling.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Strangely, it was comforting to me when I read that squirrels forget where they hide about half their nuts.

~ Ruth Casey ~

We sometimes set unreasonably high standards for ourselves. Instead of being content with average, we think we must be perfect or we don’t count. The problem is that none of us can be perfect in every endeavor. To be human is to be fallible. And that’s okay, even though we don’t often believe it.

God doesn’t expect perfection. How often have we been reminded of that since joining this program? What God does expect is that we do our best and do it lovingly. Whether we are at work, at home cooking dinner for the family, or at the bedside of an ailing friend or lover, we need only give the task our focused attention and willing heart. The joy we feel as the result of our efforts will convince us that we have been as close to perfect as we need to be.

I will do the best I can today if I am determined to be attentive to the task at hand and loving in my attitude.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to limit the stress in my life

It's not fun, but I'm slowly learning how I create problems for myself in recovery For instance, (a) I tend to make too many commitments; (b) I often try to do two things at once; and (c) I work too hard at my job. It seems I've managed to build a lot of stress into my life and left little time for myself and recovery.

Despite my time in recovery I still need to make some changes or else face a setback or relapse. Making further changes in my lifestyle will be hard and I'll need help. But to stay on track in recovery—my most important job—I'll do what I need to do.

I will do some reading on Step Eleven, review my priorities, and renew my daily recovery plan.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A man...should keep his friendships in constant repair.

~ Samuel Johnson ~

Learning to enjoy the company of loving friends gives life meaning. Coming to value ourselves enough to select friends who give as well as take is a blessed experience. Knowing that we deserve love, we are able to relax and let those special people in our lives do lovely things for us.

There was a time when it didn’t feel good or comfortable to receive attention, praise, or presents. We thought we didn’t deserve it. We thought that to be loved we must give, not receive. The very thought of glowing in someone else’s attention and love was an uncomfortable idea, almost embarrassing.

But today, real friendship asks that we learn to receive as well as give; otherwise our friend is robbed of the pleasure of loving. The same is true of our spiritual growth. It is as important to love God as it is to let Him love us.

Today help me learn to receive as well as give.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Man, the Boy, and the Donkey

A man and his son headed to market with their donkey. A man on a horse passed them and asked, “Why aren’t you I riding your donkey?”

The man placed his son on the donkey, and they continued on their way. They passed by a family working in I their fields. A young girl said, “Look at that lazy boy riding while his father is walking.”

The man told his son to get off the donkey, and he climbed on. They passed a group of women and one said, “What a selfish man, making his son walk while he rides.” The man asked his son to climb up on the donkey with him. They passed a traveler on the road, who said, “That poor donkey is carrying too much weight.”

Not knowing what to do, the man and his son began to I carry the donkey. But the donkey kicked so violently they released their hold and the donkey ran away.

The moral of the story: In striving to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.

Striving to be a people-pleaser can make you feel as if what you are doing is never right, and you lose your ability to make your own decisions.

I will choose to do what is right for me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

In the midst of winter, I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.

~ Albert Camus ~

When things seem to be going badly and everyone appears to be against us, what do we see? Do we think things will never get better, or is there a ray of hope inside us that believes everything will soon be okay?

In the midst of a long, cold winter, we might only see the gray skies, feel only the biting chill, hear only the crunch of our feet on the frozen earth. Wintertime can be compared to the bottom we first had to hit before we entered the program—a gray, dreary, hopeless, emotional freeze.

Yet we've learned there is hope. Each day of recovery has warmed the emotional chill and brought new life back into our bodies. We can now trust that even in the darkest and coldest of times, there is a warm glowing ray of hope and faith all around us.

I trust there is hope for even the most hopeless of situations. Tonight I have great faith in the healing of the program.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being positive

For us to grow and develop spiritually, we need to examine our thoughts and beliefs. Do we look for the good in people, places, and events? Do we shed a positive light on all we come into contact with? To under-stand and accept is not to limit or control. Acknowledging the truth generates positive energy, positive thoughts, and a positive lifestyle.

Negative thinking produces negative ways. It undermines our morals so that we develop a “what’s the difference” attitude. But a positive faith in a Higher Power, as each of us understands it, gives strength to the body and courage to the soul.

Do I have positive beliefs?

Higher Power, may positive thoughts and beliefs be the guiding forces of my life.

I will cultivate positive beliefs today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.

~ CICERO ~

Newcomer

Sometimes, when I check something out with you or with another person whose experience I trust, the answer I get isn't all that different from what I've already thought of on my own. I wonder if by asking for an opinion, I've simply created another kind of dependency.

Sponsor

The willingness to ask for help is what got us here in the first place—that willingness is a gift. Once we reached out, the healing process inside us began. We were open to the nourishment that our spirits needed for repair and growth; we were humble enough to accept it.

As we continue in recovery, small hints, rather than lengthy sermons, are sufficient to guide us. We've begun to trust our own gut feelings and to honor our intuitive wisdom. We may still appreciate the validation of those we respect. We may want help reasoning things out when we're confused or undecided about a course of action. There's nothing childish or dependent about that; staying open to learning from others is part of maturing and becoming more secure within ourselves.

Today, I listen for inner guidance. I trust my own wisdom.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

AA has no formal textbooks—we learn by absorbing the experiences and the wisdom of those who have successfully found an answer here. The rate of our progress in AA is to a large extent dependent upon the ability to listen and to digest what we hear.

We may not be conscious of acquiring any degree of wisdom at the end of any one meeting, but when we look back over a period of a month or so, we see that the things that entered our ears have taken root in our hearts.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Today I Will Trust

Today, I will stop straining to know
What I don't know,
To see what I can't see,
To understand what I don't yet understand.
I will trust that being is sufficient,
And let go of my need to figure things out.

~ From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, page 205 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

IS IT SELFISH?

Is it selfish to pray for yourself? Some people think that it is, and say that you should pray only for others, but this, of course, is a foolish idea.

You must pray for yourself constantly. How could it be otherwise? We worship God by believing in Him, trusting Him, and loving Him wholeheartedly—and we can attain to that only through prayer. The sole object of our being here is that we may grow like him—and we can do that only through prayer.

The more we pray for ourselves the more power will our prayers have for any other purpose whatever; so praying for ourselves is the reverse of selfishness—it is truly glorifying God.

Bow down thine ear, O Lord, hear me: for I am poor and needy. . . . Rejoice the soul of thy servant; for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul (Psalm 86:1, 4).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Not Funny Anymore

If you believe, it means you’ve got imagination…you don’t face facts. If you believe, then you hang on—what can stop you? If I don't make it today, I'll come in tomorrow.

~ Ruth Gordon ~

In 1995, two underdog baseball teams made it to the American Leaque Championship Series. For the first time in 40 years, the Cleveland Indians registered a league-leading season, pitted against the long-suffering Seattle Mariners. During the series, the television announcers showed an old clip from the TV sitcom Family Ties, in which Michael J. Fox's character announced to a group of friends that he had two tickets to a baseball game. "Who's playing?" asked one of his buddies.

"Cleveland and Seattle."

Instantly, his friends rolled with boisterous laughter and told him, "We don't think so."

The video clip represented a world of contrast against the respect these two teams had earned and the excitement the series generated. In 1995, tickets were no laughing matter; they were at a premium.

What once seemed to be a joke can eventually emerge triumphant. Most great ideas and inventions were laughed at before they were appreciated. Just because someone laughs at your idea or rejects it does not mean it is a bad idea. lt may just mean that your audience has limited vision.

Hold the faith in your vision. lf you believe it is good and you receive internal signals that you should continue, refuse to be put off by the opinions of the world. Do it not for others, but for yourself. Someday the tickets will be at a Premium.

Guide me to the highest service and give me the faith to pursue my visions with diligence.

I believe in what I am and what I do. I value truth over opinion.