More Recovery Readings - August

[bluidkiti]

August 1

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Flying is largely a matter of having the right attitude--plus, of course, good wing feathers. --E. B. White
The swan flies with majesty, confidence, and grace. It is made to fly, of course, but it learns as much about flying from its parents as it knows by instinct. It is not born with the ability to fly, but with the potential.
Each of us is born with the potential to fly in many skies. We may sing or dance or write or run, fix machines, teach children, speak, listen, sympathize. And we can do all things well, as only humans can. It is not the ability to do these things that makes us human; it's what we do with that ability.
Knowing how to prepare ourselves before we spread our wings is part of discovering what we can do. When we learn to ride a bike, we know we can do it; our parent's hand on the seat helps us know it.
Wanting to soar is the first part of the flight; it is studying, practicing, and asking for help that allows us to get off the ground.
What steps can I take today toward reaching my potential?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The great artist is the simplifier. --Henri Amiel
Just as an artist creates through simplification, so a man's recovery process grows and deepens as he simplifies his life. This isn't easy to do in our fast paced and high-powered world. We have often complicated a problem by our way of thinking. Sometimes we take pride in how complex we can make something seem. We look for hidden meanings when the truth is on the surface. We give long explanations for our actions when none is called for. We suspect a person's motives when taking him at face value loses nothing. We take on a battle when we could just as well let it pass.
Most of us don't think of ourselves as artists. Yet we are each given a profound, creative opportunity - to fashion a meaningful and worthwhile pattern in our lives. As we seek to do the will of God today, it is as if we are taking a lump of clay and creating an image from it.
As I go about today's activities, may I find ways to make it a simple and creative expression.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The secret of seeing is to sail on solar wind. Hone and spread your spirit, till you yourself are a sail, whetted, translucent, broadside to the merest puff. --Annie Dillard
Our progress today, and certainly our serenity, is enhanced by our willingness to accept all that we are blessed with today. Not only to accept, but to celebrate, trusting that these events are moving us toward our special destiny.
Flowing with the twists and turns in our lives, rather than resisting them, guarantees smooth sailing, helps us to maximize our opportunities, increases our serenity. Accepting our powerlessness over all but our own attitude is the first step we need to take toward finding serenity.
Resistance, whether it is against a person or a situation in our lives, will compound the problem, as we perceive it. We can believe in the advantages for growth that all experiences offer. We can sail with our experiences. We can be open to them so they can carry us to our destination. We can trust, simply trust, that all is well and in our favor, every moment.
My serenity is in my control today. I will look to this day with trust and thanksgiving. And my Spirit will soar.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Gratitude
We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have turns it into more. --Codependent No More
Say thank you, until we mean it.
Thank God, life, and the universe for everyone and everything sent your way.
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
Gratitude makes things right.
Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situations or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude's power. We can start with whom we are and what we have today, apply gratitude, then let it work its magic.
Say thank you, until you mean it. if you say it long enough, you will believe it.
Today, I will shine the transforming light of gratitude on all the circumstances of my life.


Today I choose to forgive instead of holding on to resentments. Today I choose to let go of all feelings that block me from feeling love. Today I choose to see everyone through the eyes of love. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Hidden Treasure
Finding Another Vantage Point

by Madisyn Taylor

Seeing the world from another perspective can introduce you to all sorts of hidden treasures.

The ocean can look very different, depending on whether you are standing at the shore, soaring above in a plane, or swimming beneath its waves. Likewise, a mountain can look very different relative to where you are standing. Each living thing sees the world from its unique vantage point. While from your window you may be seeing what looks like a huge shrub, a bird in its nest is getting an intimate view of that tree’s leafy interior. Meanwhile, a beetle sees only a massive and never-ending tree trunk. Yet all three of you are looking at the same tree.

Just as a shadow that is concealed from one point of view is easily seen from another, it is possible to miss a fantastic view. That is, unless you are willing to see what’s in front of you through different eyes. Seeing the world from another perspective, whether spatially or mentally, can introduce you to all sorts of hidden treasures. The root of the discovery process often lies in finding another way of looking at the world. The common human reaction to insects is one example. Spinning its web in a dark corner, a spider may seem drab, frightening, and mysterious. But seen up close weaving silver snowflakes between the branches of a tree, they can look like colored jewels.

Sometimes, there are experiences in life that from your vantage point may seem confusing, alarming, or worrisome. Or there may be events that look insignificant from where you are standing right now. Try seeing them from another point of view. Bury your face in the grass and look at the world from a bug’s vantage point. Explore your home as if you were a small child. Take a ride in a small aircraft and experience the world from a bird’s eye view. Just as kneeling down sometimes helps you see more closely when you are looking for lost treasure, so can standing back help you appreciate the broader picture of what you are looking at. In doing so, you’ll experience very different worlds. Published with permission from Daily OM

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Journey to the Heart
You Have It All

I was sitting at a camp in Washington's Olympic Forest, talking to a young woman. We were both enjoying the day.

"People forget that life and death are both part of life," she said. "They forget that young and old are both part of life. We live in a society that has everything separated. We live in a society that's forgotten the whole in holistic."

The whole. All of it. Male and female. Young and old. Life and death. Tears and joy. All part of the same. Parts of the whole. I want to have it all... We may have heard those words many times. We may have said them ourselves many times. I want to have it all...

Connect to the parts. You do have it all. You've had it all, all along.

*****

more language of letting go

Learn to say thanks

This is my favorite story about letting go. Although some of you may already be familiar with it (I told it in Codependent No More), I'm going to tell it again.

Many years ago, when I was married to the father of my children, we bought our first house. We had looked at many houses with nice yards, family rooms, inviting kitchens. The house we actually bought wasn't any of those. It was a run-down three story that had been built at the turn of the century and used for rental property for the past twenty years.

The yard was a sandlot where there should have been grass. There were huge holes in the house that went clear through to the outside. The plumbing was inadequate. The kitchen was grotesque. The carpeting was an old orange shag that was dirty, stained, and worn out. The basement was a nightmare of concrete, mildew, and spiders. It wasn't a dream home. It was more like a house you'd see in a horror show.

About a week after we moved in, a friend came to visit. He looked around. "You're really lucky to have your own house," he said. I didn't feel lucky. This was the most depressing place I had ever lived in.

We didn't have money to buy furniture. We didn't have the money or the skills to fix up the house. For now, that run-down barn of a house needed to stay just like it was. My daughter, Nichole, was almost two, and we had another baby on the way.

One day, right after Thanksgiving, I vowed I would take some action to fix up this house. I got a ladder and some white paint and tried painting the dining room walls. The paint wouldn't stay on. There were so many layers of old peeling paper that the paint just bubbled up, and the paper-- at least the three layers of it-- came loose from the walls.

I gave up, and put the ladder and the paint away.

I had heard then about practicing gratitude. But I didn't feel grateful. So I didn't know how gratitude in this situation could possibly apply to me. I tried to have a good attitude, but I was miserable. Every evening after I put my daughter to bed, I went downstairs into the living room; then I sat on the floor and looked around. All I could do was feel bad about everything I saw. I didn't see one thing I could possibly be grateful for.

Then I ran into a little paperback book that espoused the powers of praise. I read it, and I got an idea. I would put this gratitude thing to a deliberate test. I would take all the energy I had been using complaining, seeing the negative, and feeling bad and I'd turn that energy around. I'd will, force, and if necessary fake, gratitude instead.

Every time I felt bad, I thanked God for how I felt. Every time I noticed how awful this house looked, I thanked God for the house exactly as it was. I thanked God for the current state of my finances. I thanked God for my lack of skills to repair and remodel the house. I deliberately forced gratitude for each detail of my life-- those areas that really bothered me, those things I couldn't do anything about. Every evening, after I put my daughter to bed, I went down and sat in the same spot in the living room. But instead of complaining and crying, I just kept saying and chanting, Thank you, God, for everything in my life, just as it is.

Something began to happen so subtly and invisibly, I didn't notice when it first began to change. First, I began keeping the house cleaner and neater, even though it was truly a wreck. Then people, supplies, and skills began coming to me. First, my mother offered to teach me how to repair a house. She said we could do it for almost no money. And she'd be willing to help.

I learned how to strip walls, repair holes in walls, paint, texture, plaster, hammer, and repair. I tore up the carpeting. There were real wood floors underneath. I found good wallpaper for only a dollar a roll. Whatever I needed, just began coming to me, whether it was skills, money, or supplies.

Then, I began looking around. I found furniture that other people had thrown away. By now, I was on a roll. I learned to paint furniture, refinish it, or cover it up with a pretty doily or blanket. Within six months, the house I lived in became the most beautiful home on that block. My son, Shane, was born while I lived there. I look back on it now as one of the happiest times in my life. My mother and I had fun together, and I learned how to fix up a house.

What I really learned from that situation was the power of gratitude.

When people suggest being grateful, it's easy to think that means counting our blessings and just saying thank you for what's good. When we're learning to speak the language of letting go, however, we learn to say thanks for everything in our lives, whether we feel grateful or not.

That's how we turn things around.

Make a list of everything in your life that you're not grateful for. You may not have to make a list; you probably have the things that bother you memorized. Then deliberately practice gratitude for everything on the list.

The power of gratitude won't let you down.

Being grateful for whatever we have always turns what we have into more.

God, show me the power of gratitude. Help me make it a regular, working tool in my life.

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A Day At A Time
August 1

Reflection For The Day

Self-pity is one of the most miserable and consuming defects I know. Because of its interminable demands for attention and sympathy. my self-pity cuts off my communication with others, especially communication with my Higher Power. When I look at it that way, I realize that self-pity limits my spiritual progress. It’s also a very real form of martyrdom, which is a luxury I simply can’t afford. The remedy, I’ve been taught, is to have a hard look at myself and a still harder one at The Program’s Twelve Steps to recovery. Do I ask my Higher Power to relieve me of the bondage of self-pity?

Today I Pray

May I know from observation that self-pitiers get almost no pity from anyone else. Nobody — not even God — can fill their outsized demands for sympathy. May I recognize my own unsavory feeling of self-pity when it creeps in to rob me of my serenity. May God keep me wary of it’s sneakiness.

Today I Will Remember

My captor is my self.

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One More Day
August 1

Oft when the white still dawn
Lifted the skies
and pushed the hills apart
I have felt it like glory in my heart.
– Edwin Markham

The world is one, a while, and we are a part of it. But sometimes, we are so enmeshed in ourselves — in the details of our lives, in the unfair limitations placed upon us — that we become closed and forget the rest of the world. We see nothing else. We hear nothing else.

But if we reenter the world, the natural balance there gives us peace and comfort. The beauty — splashes of color, fragrance of flowers, trees swaying in a breeze — is also our beauty. We inhale the breath of spring amid the sounds of life. All seems right with the world, and we are one with all life.

Today, I will find joy and meaning in being alive within a living world.

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In God’s Care

Hope arouses, as nothing else can arouse, a passion for the possible.
~~William Sloan Coffin, Jr

For many of us, the past is sprinkled with endeavors that were never pursued to completion. Perhaps some pursuits were more complicated than we were equipped to handle. But it’s likely that, at times, we gave up the idea, or ran from the struggle, before we’d experienced the first major barrier. Then, unlike now, we were short on hope, vision, and confidence. Most of all, we probably lacked faith that a power greater than ourselves could guide our steps and help us make the decisions that would bring our efforts to completion.

By working our program, we gain confidence and new vision. As our faith grows, so does our connection to God. God is the source of hope, of all the strength and understanding we need for any challenge or creative endeavor.

With hope, nothing is so overwhelming that we can’t move forward, and nothing we really need will be beyond our grasp.

I will make use of God’s gift of hope to overcome any barriers I meet today.

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Day By Day

Following the leader

Whether in the program, church, or any other organization, any mortal leader we may have is but an instrument. Should any of these leaders die, our true leader remains (as always.)

If we allow the absence of any person to turn us away from our Higher Power, we don’t know who our real leader is. If we allow the absence of any person to halt our spiritual progress or prevent us from doing what we know is right, we are not following our true leader, our Higher Power. All others are but temporary instruments.

Am I following my true leader faithfully?

Higher Power, help me recognize and acknowledge my true leader.

I will share my faith in my Higher Power today by..

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Food For Thought

Promptings

If we are listening, we will hear promptings from the inner voice. Often they are suggestions for small acts of kindness and love. Sometimes they are urgings to do a difficult deed in order to correct a wrong or to apologize for a mistake. Whatever the prompting, we are free to ignore it or act on it.

Often, ignoring the prompting would appear to be the easiest course. Why should we go out of our way to help someone else, particularly if that person is a stranger? Apologies are frequently embarrassing and deflate our pride. Reaching out to someone with love makes us vulnerable to rejection, and we fear exposure.

In the long run, to ignore the promptings of our inner voice is to commit spiritual suicide. These promptings are intended for our growth, and if we do not grow in love, we will atrophy and decay. Through the Twelve Steps, our Higher Power leads us to do many things, which we would prefer to avoid, but which ensure our recovery.

I pray for willingness to follow the promptings of the inner voice.

[bluidkiti]

August 2

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Happiness is a mental habit, a mental attitude, and if it is not learned and practiced in the present it is never experienced.
--Maxwell Maltz
If only I had a new bike, then I'd be happy. If only my family were more understanding, then I'd be happy. If only my hair were styled better. If only I had more friends. If only... Sometimes we begin to sound like a broken record when things go wrong, so certain that if the events and conditions of our lives were different, we'd be happy.
It's an old and unfortunate habit that we look around outside ourselves for happiness. We can never be sure of it if we count on certain conditions to guarantee it. However, we can always be sure of happiness if we carry it with us wherever we go. The happiness habit can be developed, with practice, just as surely as good piano playing or accurate pitching. We can control our own thoughts. The decision to make them happy ones is ours to make.
Am I carrying my happiness within me right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. --Bill Cosby
Things are not always as they seem, even with us. Sometimes we get settled into a routine in our program. We are beyond the early struggles with detachment and sobriety. We have encountered many of the benefits of recovery. We attend our meetings and we know the words and ideas of the program. Although it all looks good on the outside, when we're honest with ourselves, we know our spirit has gone flat. This is a serious situation and needs our attention.
When the inside feeling does not match our outside appearance, we need to become vulnerable again. We need to talk about how we really feel. Maybe little secrets we have been holding have deadened our program. Perhaps we haven't admitted a pain in our life. Maybe we have been seduced by the power of looking good and have traded away the genuineness of being known by our friends. The renewal of this program is something we feel from within, and we can continue to be renewed.
I pray my eyes will be open to see and my program will stay alive and genuine.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Though we be sick and tired and faint and worn--Lo, all things can be borne! --Elizabeth Chase Akers
What bothered us most a year ago? A month ago? Even a week ago? It's probably that whatever it was, we were obsessed with it, certain that our futures were ruined, that there was no reasonable solution. It's also probable that we feared we simply couldn't survive the complexity of the situation. But we did. And we always will be able to survive any and all difficulties. We are never, absolutely never, given more than we can handle. In fact, we are given exactly what we need, at any given time.
We have many lessons to learn. Fortunately, we have the structure of the Twelve Steps to guide us through the lessons. We need mainly to remember what we are powerless over, that there is a power greater than ourselves, and that life will become simple; we'll need no extra homework when we've turned it over to the care of God.
Whatever my problem today, I will let God have it. A solution is in the making. I'll see it just as quickly as I can let go of the problem.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
In Between
Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in between.
One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.
This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.
Being in between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird in hand, when there is nothing in the bush.
Being in between can apply to many areas of life and recovery. We can be in between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.
We may have many feelings going on when we're in between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.
Being in between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in between place. it's how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.
We are moving forward, even when we're in between.
Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good.


Today I know I'm just wasting my energy to try to change people, places and things. By looking within I can really discover what needs to be changed and then turn it over to my Higher Power to be released. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Enjoying a Snail’s Pace
Doing Things Slowly

by Madisyn Taylor

Take time to slow down, rushing never gets you anywhere but on to the next activity or goal.

Life can often feel like it’s zipping by in fast forward. We feel obliged to accelerate our own speed along with it, until our productivity turns into frenzied accomplishment. We find ourselves cramming as much activity as possible into the shortest periods of time. We disregard our natural rhythms because it seems we have to just to keep up. In truth, rushing never gets you anywhere but on to the next activity or goal.

Slowing down allows you to not only savor your experiences, but also it allows you to fully focus your attention and energy on the task at hand. Moving at a slower place lets you get things done more efficiently, while rushing diminishes the quality of your work and your relationships. Slowing down also lets you be more mindful, deliberate, and fully present. When we slow down, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to reacquaint ourselves to our natural rhythms. We let go of the “fast forward” stress, and allow our bodies to remain centered and grounded. Slowing down is inherent to fully savoring anything in life. Rushing to take a bath can feel like an uncomfortable dunk in hot water, while taking a slow hot bath can be luxuriant and relaxing. A student cramming for a test will often feel tired and unsure, whereas someone who really absorbs the information will be more confident and relaxed. Cooking, eating, reading, and writing can become pleasurable when done slowly. ! Slowing down lets you become more absorbed in whatever it is you are doing. The food you eat tastes better, and the stories you read become more alive.

Slowing down allows you to disconnect from the frenzied pace buzzing around you so you can begin moving at your own pace. The moments we choose to live in fast forward motion then become a conscious choice rather than an involuntary action. Learning to slow down in our fast-moving world can take practice, but if you slow down long enough to try it, you may surprise yourself with how natural and organic living at this pace can be. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

Journey to the Heart
What Do We Do When People Resent Us

Even with our best efforts to detach, we may still have moments when the resentments and harsh feelings of another interfere with our peace. We react much as if someone was throwing darts or rocks at us. All the efforts in the world to ignore resentment may not help if we're feeling the impact of each harsh feeling thrown at us.

These are some ideas that might help.

1. Talk to the person. Reason things out. If that's not possible, send them a box of blessings through prayer or thought.

2. Protect yourself emotionally and spiritually. One healing professional recommends these techniques, which have helped me. You may have your own. Take some quiet time, close your eyes, and envision yourself encased in a large cube of mirrors. Totally protected, you can see out, but others can't see in. All they see when they look at you is themselves. Spiritually protect yourself by envisioning a flaming circle of fire around you, around the mirrors,too.

3. Look deep within yourself and find the emotional block, the unresolved issue, or the old belief that makes you vulnerable to that energy, to that person. Then release it. Heal it by acknowledging it, feeling it, and letting go.

4. Tale a closer look. The pressure and resentment you're feeling may be your own. Release them. Heal yourself.

Now thank that person for helping you heal, grow, and move along your path.

*****

more language of letting go
Gratitude is larger than life

One day, a friend called me on the phone. He was going through a difficult time and wondering if and when things would ever turn around and improve. I knew he was in a lot of pain; I didn't know that he was considering suicide.

"If you could give a person only one thing to help them," he said, "what would it be?"

I thought carefully about his question; then I replied, "It's not one thing. It's two: gratitude and letting go." Gratitude for everything, not just the things we consider good or a blessing. And letting go of everything we can't change.

A few years have passed since that day my friend called me on the phone. His life has turned around. His financial problems have sorted themselves out. His career has shifted. The two very large problems he was facing at that time have both sorted themselves out. The actual process of facing and working through these problems became an important part of redirecting the course of his life.

Someone once asked the artist Georgia O'Keefe why her paintings magnified the size of small objects-- like the petals on a flower-- making them appear larger than life, and reduced the size of large objects-- like mountains-- making them smaller than life.

"Everyone sees the big things," she said. "But these smaller things are so beautiful and people might not notice them if I didn't emphasize them."

That's the way it is with gratitude and letting go. It's easy to see the problems in our lives. They're like mountains. But sometimes we overlook the smaller things; we don't notice how truly beautiful they are.

Identify problems. Feel feelings.

But if you're going to make anything bigger than life, let it be the power and simplicity of these two tools: gratitude and letting go.

God, teach me to use gratitude and letting go to reduce the size of my problems.

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A Day At A Time
August 2

Reflection For The Day

When I begin to compare my life with the lives of others, I’ve begun to move toward the edge of the murky swamp of self-pity. On the other hand, if I feel that what I’m doing is right and good, I won’t be so dependent on the admiration or approval of others. Applause is well and good, but it’s not essential to my inner contentment. I’m in The Program to get rid of self-pity, not to increase its power to destroy me. Am I learning how others have dealt with their problems so I can apply these lessons to my own life?

Today I Pray

God, make me ever mindful of where I came from and the new goals I have been encouraged to set. May I stop playing to an audience for their approval, since I am fully capable of admiring or applauding myself if I feel I have earned it. Help me make myself attractive from the inside, so it will show through, rather than adorning the outside for effect. I am tired of stage make-up and costumes, God; help me be myself.

Today I Will Remember

Has anyone seen ME?

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One More Day
August 2

No man is good for anything who has not some particle of obstinacy to use upon occasion.
– Henry Ward Beecher

The word obstinate is quite often used to describe children who refuse to let go of an idea or behavior. Although we may not want others to label us obstinate, it might be that obstinacy is a needed quality for us in the right situations.

Sometimes it is healthy for us to be stubborn, to hold steadfastly to what we want and who we are and where we want to be. Faith in ourselves and obstinacy can be just what we need to survive a hard day. And we do get by, not because we’re foolish, but because our maturity tells us to hold on to our sense of direction.

I will keep as much independence as I can.

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In God’s Care

He always lets people do what they want.
~~Frank N.D. Buchman

We are born into the world with free will, and we can do whatever we please. But there are civil laws and, if we disobey them, we are at risk of losing our freedom.

The spiritual world also has laws; if we disregard them, we suffer consequences. The difference is that we are our own judges, and our consequences are personal. We frequently bump into these spiritual boundaries. God lets us over-step them at will, but what we do always catches up with us.

If we break spiritual laws, no one knows it better than we do because unhappiness surely follows. Selfishness, dishonesty, and an unloving attitude guarantee misery. Letting love direct our thoughts and actions assures our ultimate happiness.

Today I can do as I please, but I choose to be happy – living within God’s spiritual boundaries.

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Day By Day

Developing Spritually

We read in the Big Book that no human power could have relieved our addiction – not ourselves, our spouse, the law, clergy, counselors, or friends. Through trial and error and many failures, we come to know that another human being is not the way. To recover, we need a spiritual program based on a power greater than ourselves.

To recover, we need a spiritual life, as developed by the fellowship and the Twelve Steps.

Am I growing spiritually?

Higher Power, help me to see the importance of developing a spiritual life.

I will work on my spiritual program today by…

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Food For Thought

Motivation

Most of us fight the temptation to be lazy, to get by with doing the minimum instead of our best. When we were children, we had parents and teachers who urged us on to greater efforts. As adults, we have to depend more on internal motivation and less on the exhortations of others.

Working for strictly material goods is not enough to provide the impetus and enthusiasm we need. It is our Higher Power who gives us our talents and abilities, and it is His plan for their use, which we seek to follow.

Doing less than the best we can is short-changing ourselves. We miss the satisfaction that comes from stretching as far as we can. We also miss the opportunity to exceed former limits. The more we do, the more we are able to do.

Motivation comes from our Higher Power and can only be received, as we are willing to act. Thinking and planning have their place, but it is action, which generates fresh enthusiasm.

May I live up to the maximum of my abilities today.

[bluidkiti]

August 3

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Creativity is so delicate a flower that praise tends to make it bloom, while discouragement often nips it in the bud. --Alex Osborn
A garden of flowers blooming is a beautiful sight to see. Through the green leaves surrounding a tulip we see hints of yellow or pink or red. Each day the flowers greet us with their radiant color. Yet, a sudden frost would wilt and fade the flowers.
Each time we create something new with our talents we are like a young flower opening. Whether we draw or write or sew or play a musical instrument, all creativity has this in common. Appreciation from those around us is like sunshine for the flowers. Harsh criticism, however, is like the cold air--it wilts and deadens our desire to create.
We all need warm encouragement for our endeavors, and we can give as well as receive it. In this way, creativity can bloom in our homes and our friendships, bringing a garden full of color and delight into our lives.
What encouragement can I offer to someone near me?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude. --Henri J. M. Nouwen
Knowing our loneliness and admitting it to us is the beginning of a spiritual path for many men. Today we are on a spiritual journey. We already have the means to translate the pain of our loneliness into a deeper spiritual dimension. Most men in this program came in deeply aware of their feelings of isolation. Now, with the companionship of our Higher Power, we can spend time alone and use it for spiritual growth. As we develop a relationship with ourselves and deepen our knowledge of our Higher Power, our loneliness transforms into solitude.
In this quiet moment today, we can be more accepting of ourselves than we were in the past. We admit loneliness has caused us pain, but now we can see that it also can lead us to our deeper self where we find serene solitude. This change is a movement into the spiritual world.
Thanks to God for the solitude I have found in my life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
All that is necessary to make this world a better place to live is to love - to love as Christ loved, as Buddha loved. --Isadora Duncan
To be unconditionally loved is our birthright, and we are so loved by God. We desire just such a love from one another, and we deserve it; yet, it's a human quality to look for love before giving it. Thus many of us search intently for signs of love.
Too many of us are searching, rather than loving. Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another's personhood. Not easy, but so rewarding, to ourselves as well as to the one who is the focus of our love.
Love is a balm that heals. Loving lightens whatever our burdens. It invites our inner joy to emerge. But most of all, it connects us, one with another. Loneliness leaves. We are no longer alienated from our environment. Love is the mortar that holds the human structure together. Without the expression of love, it crumbles. This recovery program has offered us a plan for loving others, as well as ourselves. Love will come to us, just as surely as we give it away.
Each and every expression of love I offer today will make smooth another step I take in this life.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Owning Our Power in Relationships
So much of what I call my codependency is fear and panic because I spent so much of my life feeling abused, trapped, and not knowing how to take care of myself in relationships. --Anonymous
No matter how long we have been recovering, we may still tend to give up our power to others, whether they be authority figures, a new love, or a child.
When we do this, we experience the set of emotions and thoughts we call "the codependent crazies." We may feel angry, guilty, afraid, confused, and obsessed. We may feel dependent and needy or become overly controlling and rigid. We may return to familiar behaviors during stress. And for those of us who have codependency and adult children issues, relationships can mean stress.
We don't have to stay stuck in our codependency. We don't have to shame or blame ourselves, or the other person, for our condition. We simply need to remember to own our power.
Practice. Practice. Practice using your power to take care of yourself, no matter who you are dealing with, where you are, or what you are doing. This is what recovery means. This does not mean we try to control others; it does not mean we become abrasive or abusive. It means we own our power to take care of ourselves.
The thought of doing this may generate fears. That's normal! Take care of yourself anyway. The answers, and the power to do that, are within you now.
Start today. Start where you are. Start by taking care of who you are, at the present moment, to the best of your ability.
Today, I will focus on owning my power to take care of myself. I will not let fears, or a false sense of shame and guilt; stop me from taking care of myself.


Today I will take enough time to do something good for myself only. I will buy myself a gift or spend worthwhile time doing something pleasant and fulfilling. I have enough time today and I deserve this time for myself. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Overcoming Fear
From the Overcoming Fear On-line Course

by Debbie Ford

We can control the quality of our lives if we are willing to face our fears rather than burying, suppressing or avoiding them. Confronting our deepest fears, our terror, is a way out of the agony of our ongoing stories and into the glorious world of empowerment. Almost all of us were terrorized in some way when we were young. For you, maybe it was when you were bullied in school or when one of your siblings locked you in the closet. Something happened to activate the feeling of fear, of sheer terror, and at some point you rejected your fear and made a decision that this was a bad way to feel because you associated it with some negative event.

Now it is time for you to be the adult and take charge of your internal world. You have to be the one to take back your power, even if you're scared. When you are in fear, it's because you believe in that darkness more than you believe in the light. You might believe that if you do enough, read enough, pray enough or chat enough, you can obliterate your fear, but I am here to tell you that it's impossible to make the fear happy. You might think that if you listen to it long enough, it will go away. But it won't. You must confront it. You must take back your power. You say, "Yes Debbie but how?" Well here is the antidote for your fear: LOVE IT. Don't try to discard or rid yourself of your fear, because you probably aren't strong enough. But what you can do is bring the light to the darkness. That light is love. When faced with your fear, you can ask yourself, "How can I love myself even when I'm in the middle of my fear? You can turn around and face your fear. You can stop te! rrorizing yourself further for being scared and instead find out how old that fear is. You can ask yourself, "How many years, months, weeks, days and minutes have I been terrorized by the same thing?" Count it out and write it down. And then find some sweet compassion for the kid in you that is scared to death.

The greatest way to take on your fear is to create safety for yourself. Safety is the key to courage. And action is your way of showing yourself that you are safe and that you can take care of yourself.. For example, if you hold a secret fear that you could become a bag lady but have no financial plan, then you're going to be continuously terrorized. Get a money mentor. Find out how much money you need to put away and then start on that path. If you're afraid that someone is going to attack you, get trained in self-defense. If you're afraid your business partner is going to extort you, have an agreement drawn up that protects you. If you're fearful that your partner is going to leave you, find out what you would need to do to know that, even if they did leave, you're a desirable and extraordinary person? If you're scared that you're going to pass your limiting beliefs and issues on to your kids, what transformational class would you have to attend or what coaching could you ! participate in to ensure that you're giving them your highest? If you're scared you're going to get sick, what measures could you take right now to nurture your well-being? Add tai chi or yoga classes to your weekly schedule and seek out an integrative healthcare practitioner (such as an acupuncturist or body worker) to mitigate stress and keep your body in balance.

Since ultimately you are the one that can make you feel safe, what environment do you need to create around you? What support structures could you put in place? Ask yourself where in your life are you not protecting yourself - not taking care of yourself. What subtle adjustment or quantum step can you take this week to put in a measure of safety somewhere in your life where you are fearful? Whether it's adding antioxidants to your daily regimen, putting money in savings, having an alarm system installed, getting insurance, or praying to the divine, do what it takes to ease your heart and mind. Make a commitment this week. Find an area where you have fear and take it on! Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

Journey to the Heart
Learn to Be Present

"I haven't been able to give you much materially," he said. "Not jewelry, diamonds, gold. But the gift I've given you, what I've had to offer, is staying fully present for you."

Presence is a gift-- staying fully present for friends, family, ourselves, our lives. Staying in the moment, with our hearts open, will change other people's lives and ours.

So often we've learned, out of habit or fear, to be only partially present, partially conscious, for ourselves, others, and our lives. We aren't certain what we're feeling; our attention and energy are diverted to the next place, the next person. We're there, kind of.

There's another way, a better way. One where we keep our hearts open and know what we feel. We take the risk of being vulnerable enough to share who we really are and to allow others to do the same. We become fully present for each moment and each person on our path.

Yes, there are times when it isn't safe to be open, when the energy of a circumstance isn't right for us. But that usually reveals a lesson and dictates a choice. It may be time to learn, time to leave, time to feel, time to choose.

Learn to release all that stands in the way of you and the present moment. Learn to let go of all that blocks you from being fully present for yourself and others.

Give the gift of presence to yourself and to the world.

*****

more language of letting go
Push against the wind

One day at the drop zone, I began working with a new skydiving coach, John. We were on the ground, rehearsing the moves we were going to make during free-fall time. He knew that I was having trouble controlling my body during free fall.

John noticed something about me, then suggested we try an exercise.

We stood up.

He pushed me, on the shoulder.

Instead of pushing back, I let my body go where he pushed it. I was practicing nonresistance, the skill I had acquired in martial arts. He pushed me again. Again I demonstrated nonresistance. I let my body naturally move in the direction it was pushed. This act of not resisting had served me well, both on the mats and off the mats. Not resisting people when they wanted to argue-- learning to say, "Hmmm," instead of engaging in battle-- kept my life and environment calm. Not resisting when problems or experiences came into my life enabled me to go with the flow and be calm and centered enough to tackle these problems much more efficiently than if I was resisting them.

I explained this to John.

"Nonresistance is good to practice many times in your life," he said. "But sometimes you need to fight back. You need to assertively push against what's pushing on you if you want to get where you want to go.Pushing against the wind-- directing your body assertively-- is what you need to do if you want to learn to fly."

Practicing nonresistance is good in our lives. Surrendering is an invaluable tool. Both these activities take us immediately into the flow of life. When we're relaxed, we tune into God and our inner selves. Once we surrender, we automatically know what to do next, and when to do it.

But sometimes we need to assert ourselves, too. Surrendering and practicing nonresistance don't mean we turn into pieces of paper being blown about by every wind. Sometimes we need to push against the resistance coming our way.

That's how we assert ourselves, that's how we guide and direct our course. That's how our Higher Power guides and directs us,too.

We've learned to surrender. Now it's time to learn to assert ourselves,too. Have you surrendered so much that you've stopped asserting and expressing yourself? Assert yourself. Make the moves your heart leads you to do. Know where you want to go and what you want to say.

Once you've admitted powerlessness, learn to connect with your power. Learn when it's time to practice nonresistance, and learn when it's time to push against the wind.

God, help me align with your power in my life. Teach me to express and assert that power as I go through my day.

*******************************************

A Day At A Time
August 3

Reflection For The Day

The Twelve Steps were designed specifically for people like us — as a short cut to God. The Steps are very much like strong medicine which can heal us of the sickness of despair, frustration and self-pity. Yet we’re sometimes unwilling to use The Steps. Why? Perhaps because we have a deep-down desire for martyrdom. Consciously and intellectually, we think we want help; on a gut level, though, some hidden sense of guilt makes us crave punishment more than relief from our ills. Can I try to be cheerful when everything seems to be leading me to despair? Do I realize that despair is very often a mask for self-pity?

Today I Pray

May I pull out the secret guilt inside that makes me want to punish myself. May I probe my despair and discover whether it is really an imposter — self-pity with a mask on. Now that I know that the Twelve Steps can bring relief, may I please use them instead of wallowing in my discomforts.

Today I Will Remember

The Twelve Steps are God’s Stairway.

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One More Day
August 3

Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible.
– Eleanor Roosevelt

Many of us have begun to reexamine our lives and our values. Am I proud of how I act? Of what I do? Will this decision be in my best interest? Do I have strong, interacting relationships?

A likely result of this might be that we fool ourselves less now and that we don’t try to fool others. The discovery of what we really are and of what is important to us urges us toward greater honesty. We are freer to make amends to friends and family members for things we’ve said or done. We hesitate less in asking for help and in telling others when we feel wronged. best of all, we’ve rid ourselves of our old victim mentality and have taken responsibility for our lives.

I will begin happily to make responsible decisions today.

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In God’s Care

Only trust, perfect trust can keep one calm.
~~God Calling, May 10th

For many of us, developing trust as we work our program has been painstakingly difficult. Perhaps we grew up in families where trust was betrayed. Many of us experienced friendships and marriages that turned sour when we learned our companion had not been trustworthy. And we, too, often failed to lie up to the trust someone special had placed in us.

Learning to trust that our Higher Power cares for us, always, will relieve our anxious moments and restore our trust. In time we will come to know that when we’re with God, all is well.

The calm of knowing our well-being is guaranteed comes when we willingly relinquish our frenzied attempts to control all the events in our frenzied attempts to control all the events in our life. One way we can learn to do this is by practicing quietness and breathing in calmness each time we feel anxiety over an outcome. This will allow us to trust – a bit more every day – that God is at the helm and our life is on course.

I will be calm as often as possible today, and a peaceful, trusting feeling will fill me up.

************************************************** *****************

Day By Day

Preserving and affirming our lives

Some people seem to have no problems using mood-altering durugs, but for us, they are highly destructive. When we used drugs, we lost our lives – physically and spiritually – and barely regained them through the Twelve Step program.

We who are chemically dependent, must never use them again – or we risk relapse to full-blown addiction. Our path is one of total abstinence through the program.

Am I preserving and affirming my life?

Higher Power, help me to preserve my life by staying clean and sober.

I will affirm my life and practice my program today by…

************************************************** *************

Food For Thought

Speaking from the Heart

Through the OA fellowship, we offer each other mutual support. Since we believe that the Higher Power works through the group, what one of us is prompted to say is probably just what another member needs to hear.

Sometimes we are reluctant to speak of what is in our heart for fear of being embarrassed, belittled, or betrayed. We are so accustomed to masking our true feelings that we often lose touch with them. In OA, we are assured that what we say will be received in a spirit of acceptance and love. We do not need to be afraid of revealing our deeper selves.

It is a healing experience to belong to a group, which is dedicated to honest communication with a minimum of game playing. When we make a genuine attempt to describe where we are in our program, we are met with a warm and supportive response. Our Higher Power opens the way for meaningful communication and mutual love.

Open our hearts to You and to each other.

[bluidkiti]

August 4

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Do I love you because you're beautiful Or are you beautiful because I love you? --Oscar Hammerstein
Once, a powerful king agreed to help a small, lost boy find his mother. Since the boy described his mother as the most beautiful woman in the world, the king commanded all the beautiful women in the kingdom to come to the castle.
From miles around, they came--women with complexions of porcelain and hair of spun gold, with cheeks the color of apricots and eyes as dark as the raven's. But none of them was the boy's mother. When the last of the women had paraded before them, and the king and the boy had begun to despair, they heard a timid knock on the door. "Come in," the king said wearily. In shuffled an old washer woman, her grey hair tied up in a kerchief, her hands rough and red, her dress coarse and patched.
"Mother!" the boy cried when he saw her, and he leapt from his chair and raced into the woman's arms. The king stared in amazement.
Will I be able to see the real beauty in others today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The craftsman does not always build toward a prior vision. Often images come in the process of working. The material, his hands - together they beget. --M. C. Richards
We awaken in the morning, and the day is an un-built creation. We have some ideas about what we will accomplish today. But our Higher Power also has some things in mind, which are not yet part of our consciousness. We have lived long enough to know that every day brings surprises. We know in advance we will be frustrated in some of our desires, and we may be helped or advanced in others. But what about the totally unexpected? Will we even notice the subtle opportunities? Will we see an opportunity for a friendly conversation? Do our plans unwittingly prevent other possibilities from intruding?
When we hold loosely to our daily plans, we are more open to knowing the will of our Higher Power. Then each day is a spiritual process. It becomes a combined creation of our Higher Power and our own consciousness.
Today, I will hold my own plan loosely so that I can continue to be open to the healing powers of God.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Let me tell thee, time is a very precious gift of God; so precious that it's only given to us moment by moment. --Amelia Barr
Where are our minds right now? Are we focused fully on this meditation? Or are our minds wandering off to events scheduled for later today or tomorrow perhaps? The simple truth is that this moment is all God has allowed right now. It's God's design that we will live fully each moment, as it comes. Therein lies the richness of our lives. Each moment contributes to the full pattern that's uniquely our own.
We must not miss the potential pleasure of any experience because our thoughts are elsewhere. We never know when a particular moment, a certain situation, may be a door to our future. What we do know is that God often has to work hard getting our attention, perhaps allowing many stumbling blocks in order to get us back on target.
Being in tune with now, this moment, guarantees a direct line of communication to God. It also guarantees a full, yet simple life. Our purpose becomes clear as we trust our steps to God's guidance. How terribly complicated we make life by living in the past, the present, and many future times, all at once!
One step, one moment, and then the next step and its moment. How the simple life brings me freedom!


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Vulnerability
I've learned that the more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more in control of myself I really am. --Anonymous
Many of us feel that we can only show our strong, confident side. We believe the face we have to show to the world should always be one of politeness, perfection, calm, strength, and control.
While it is certainly good and often appropriate to be in control, calm, and strong, there is another side to all of us--that part of us that feels needy, becomes frightened, has doubts, and gets angry. That part of us that needs care, love, and reassurance those things will be okay. Expressing these needs makes us vulnerable and less than perfect, but this side needs our acceptance too.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable will help us build lasting relationships. Sharing our vulnerabilities helps us feel close to people and helps others feel close to us. It helps us grow in self-love and self-acceptance. It helps us become healing agents. It allows us to become whole and accessible to others.
Today, I will allow myself to be vulnerable with others when it's safe and appropriate to do so.


Today I will take enough time to do something good for myself only. I will buy myself a gift or spend worthwhile time doing something pleasant and fulfilling. I have enough time today and I deserve this time for myself. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Storytelling
Reviving a Community Tradition

by Madisyn Taylor

Most cultures use storytelling to pass down family history using the power and energy of the human voice.

Ever since our ancestors could first communicate, we have gathered to share our stories. We have passed along creation tales and tragic stories of love lost. We have repeated accounts of real heroism and simple stories of family history. When our forebears lived closer to the land and to each other, the practice of storytelling was imbued with ritual and occasion. Members of the tribe would often gather around the fire to hear their genealogy recited aloud by an elder or master storyteller. Listeners could track how their own lives, and the lives of their parents, interwove with the lives of the other tribe members, as everyone’s ancient relatives once played out similar life dramas together.

As a custom, some cultures’ storytellers repeat the same tale over and over because they believe that each time you hear it, you come to the story as a different person and view the plot and characters in a new light. Hearing the story over and over is a way to gauge where you have been and where you are now on your path of personal evolution. It also helps the younger generation learn the stories so that they can pass them to forthcoming generations.

When we hear others tell stories, we can laugh at their humorous adventures, feel the thrill of exciting encounters, see parts of ourselves in them, and learn from the challenges they face. Though most of our formal traditions of storytelling are lost, it does not mean we have to be without. We can begin new practices in our own families of listening to one another, of honoring our own journey, and witnessing the journeys of those around us. We can revive the fireside communal by gathering around the campfire or hearth with family and friends, sharing in stories. By building new practices of storytelling, we give ourselves and the ones we love an opportunity to draw ever closer in our shared human experience. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

Journey to the Heart
Value Passion

Value what ignites the flame within you.

Value what inspires and interests you, what enrages you, what tickles and exhilarates you, what sparks the fire within. Your strong feelings-- what you love or hate-- are not wrong. Your passions will lead and guide you in all you want to do. From the tiniest idea to the grandest scheme, what makes your flame burn more brightly is the light shining from above, gently guiding the way.

The universe and God will lead and guide you, tell you what to do. The message might come through a story someone tells you, a place someone mentions that they liked, or a problem someone's having trouble resolving that attracts your attention with a bit of extra force. A movie that sticks in your mind. A book you couldn't put down. Something you realize you hate, something you find you love after all, an idea you find interesting, something that makes you stop and think. Learn to tell how you react to what you see and hear. That's how you'll learn to listen to what the universe has to say. That place may be the next place you're to go on your path. The idea may be just what you're looking for to help you get unstuck.

When you know what you're feeling deep inside, you'll know what you like. If you've grown cold and bored, you can come alive again. Feel whatever you need to feel, and you'll find your passion underneath. If you don't know when you feel sad and alone, you won't know when you feel good. Feel all the feelings that come your way. Each one has a lesson for you. And as you release that energy, you'll be releasing passion,too. Value your passions and the way you feel. Soon you'll find yourself knowing just what to do and when.

Stay open. Keep your fire burning bright. When you recognize what inspires you, you'll be recognizing the Light.

*****

more language of letting go
Be grateful for the wind

"It'd be easier to skydive without all that wind trying to push me around," I said to my jump master.

"No, it wouldn't," he said. "Without the wind, you wouldn't be able to move around at all. If you didn't have resistance, you wouldn't be able to fly your body. That's what the wind is there for-- to push against."

It's easy in our lives to think that we'd be so much happier without that problem, that situation, those people disturbing our peace. What a bother, we think. Why can't my life just be calm and serene, peaceful, with no interruptions and bothersome events?

Sometimes, resistance is necessary. While it's important to live in a calm, nurturing environment, sometimes resistance is essential to our growth. Take a moment. Look at how your problems have shaped you into who you have become.

When problems and challenges arise, they force us to examine our ideals, become alert, and often learn something new about others and ourselves. Even our enemies, rivals, and competitors give us something to push against. They help us define who we are and challenge us to become our best.

Instead of complaining and grumbling about that problem or circumstance, thank it for being there. Right now, this moment, the resistance in your life is giving you something to push against.

Be grateful for the wind. You need it to learn to fly.

God, help me be grateful for all the problems and circumstances in my life. Help me remember that you're teaching me to fly.

*******************************************

A Day At A Time
August 4

Reflection For The Day

One of the best ways to get out of the self-pity trap is to do some “insstant bookkeeping.” For every entry of misery on the debit side of our ledger, we can surely find a blessing to mark on the credit side: the health we enjoy, the illnesses we don’t have, the friends who love us and who allow us to love them, a clean and sober 24 hours, a good day’s work. If we but try, we can easily list a whole string of credits that will far outweigh the debit entries which cause self-pity. Is my emotional balance on the credit side today?

Today I Pray

May I learn to sort out my debits and credits, and add it all up. May I list my several blessings on the credit side. May my ledger show me, when all is totaled, a fat fund of good things to draw on.

Today I Will Remember

I have blessings in my savings.

*******************************************

One More Day
August 4

Today is the day in which to express your nobles qualities of mind and heart, to do at least one worthy thing which you have long postponed…
– Grenville Kleiser

Volunteer work. There are volunteer jobs for people with every level of ability. The main qualification is to care about others. Each day offers us the opportunity to make a difference in someone else’s life. We may choose to sing in a community choir or play in an amateur band. Or we might offer to read stories to or write letters for people with limited vision.

Volunteer work. What’s remarkable are the benefits we will reap from the simple caring. These acts affirm the bond that exists between us. They help us move out of a preoccupation with ourselves and our limitations, and they put us into the mainstream of life.

Today I will share my abilities and talents with others.

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In God’s Care

Time is a circus, always paking up and moving away.
~~Ben Hecht

We can’t hold on to time. Right now is the only time we have. It is the only time we can enjoy the season, hear a child’s laughter, feel the joy of sharing. This time, right nowm is the time to learn something. And it is the time for us to know God.

Time is always moving on, but we can stay in the present. To look back over our shoulder, trying to figure out how to change something we did or make someone react differently than he or she did, is futile. When we look ahead, trying to predict the future, we are creating needless anxiety. The present is where we exist.

God speaks to us in the present. It is the only time we have to make a connection.

Today I will try to live in the present moment.

************************************************** ****************

Day By Day

Being lucky

Some people think “luck” is the reaon for success in their lives. But does luck really mean the suffering and pain that we’ve not hesitated to endure? The opportunities for growth that we’ve embraced? The kindness and humor that we’ve shown others? The thanks we’ve expressed to others for their kindness to us?

If success is “lucky,” then we make our own luck. Then luck means being open and available; luck meas willingness plus grace.

Do I realize what a lucky person I am?

Higher Power, help me to be open and willing to receive your grace.

Today I will thank God for my “luck by…

************************************************** **************

Food For Thought

God’s Time

When we feel under pressure and fear that there will not be enough time to do the things we think we need to do, it helps to stop for a moment and remember that all time is God’s. We may be wanting to do more than we should in the same way that we wanted to eat more than we needed. Exchanging compulsive overeating for compulsive activity is no solution to our problem.

Turning over our lives to our Higher Power as we begin each day allows Him to schedule what we will do and when we will do it. He knows our capabilities even better than we do, and He does not give us more to do than we can manage. To benefit from His guidance, we need to stay in touch with our inner selves and not get swept away by external demands.

In the past, we may have alternated between periods of non-productive lassitude and frantic bursts of activity. As we maintain ourselves on an even keel physically by abstaining from compulsive overeating, we learn moderation and order as God shows us how to use the time He gives us.

Please order the time which You give me every day.

[bluidkiti]

August 5

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There is surely a piece of divinity in us, something that was before the elements... --Sir Thomas Browne
One definition of divinity in the dictionary is "supreme excellence." It also means "god-like character" and "divine nature."
Doesn't that describe someone we love? When we are in love with someone, we see only the best of that person--it's impossible to see anything else. That person is "divine," we say, perfect for us, because he or she loves us and is lovable.
Each one of us has a part that is divine. We see it occasionally in others, and they see it in us when they love us. We can draw on that divine part of every person for strength and hope and courage and faith and love. There is wonderful, mysterious beauty in all of us, even when we behave badly.
What divinity do I see in those around me right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The whole problem is to establish communication with one's self. --E. B. White
We are like many faceted gemstones. Each side represents a different aspect of us. We have our emotional sides with different feelings and responses. We have our competencies and strengths, hopes and desires, destructiveness and negativity, self-doubts and resentments. We also possess a drive for power and knowledge, a desire to serve, and a wish to connect with others.
Our spiritual masculinity requires that we know our many sides. We need a working relationship with our thoughts and feelings so they can be appreciated, accepted, and understood. When we tell our story in a meeting, we let others know us, and we get to know ourselves better. When we are spontaneous in what we say or do, we communicate with ourselves. We discover ourselves through meditation, journal writing, playfulness, physical activity, and conversations with others. In that way we become more honest.
Today, I will use my lines of communication with myself and become more self-accepting and more honest.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The bottom line is that I am responsible for my own well-being, my own happiness. The choices and decisions I make regarding my life directly influence the quality of my days. --Kathleen Andrus
There is no provision for blaming others in our lives. Who we are is a composite of the actions, attitudes, choices, decisions we've made up to now. For many of us, predicaments may have resulted from our decisions to not act when the opportunity arose. But these were decisions, no less, and we must take responsibility for making them.
We need not feel utterly powerless and helpless about the events of our lives. True, we cannot control others, and we cannot curb the momentum of a situation, but we can choose our own responses to both; these choices will heighten our sense of self and well-being and may well positively influence the quality of the day.
I will accept responsibility for my actions, but not for the outcome of a situation; that is all that's requested of me. It is one of the assignments of life, and homework is forthcoming.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Attitudes Toward Money
Sometimes, our life and history may be so full of pain that we think it totally unfair that we have to grow up now and be financially responsible for ourselves.
The feeling is understandable; the attitude is not healthy. Many people in recovery may believe that certain people in particular, and life in general, owes them a living after what they've been through.
To feel good about ourselves, to find the emotional peace and freedom we're seeking in recovery, we need healthy boundaries about money - what we give to others, and what we allow ourselves to receive from others.
Do we feel that others owe us money because we cannot take care of ourselves? Do we believe others owe us because we do not have as much money as they do? Do we consciously or subconsciously believe that they "owe" us money because of emotional pain we suffered as a result of our relationship with them or another person?
Punitive damages are awarded in court, but not in recovery.
Unhealthy boundaries about what we allow ourselves to receive from others will not lead to healthy relationships with others or ourselves.
Test by looking within. The key is our attitude. The issue is boundaries about receiving money. Become willing to meet the challenge of taking responsibility for yourself.
Today, I will strive for clear, healthy boundaries about receiving money from others. As part of my recovery, I will take a hard look at my financial history and examine whether I have taken money that may not reflect good boundaries. If I uncover some incidents that reflect less than an attitude of healthy self-responsibility, I will become willing to make amends and develop a reasonable plan to do that.


In quiet meditation I listen to my own Higher Power. I connect with my personal spirituality in my own time and place. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Fresh and Unfixed
There is Only Now

by Madisyn Taylor

Being present lets us experience each moment in our lives in a way that cannot be fully lived through memory or fantasy.

It can be easy for us to walk through the world and our lives without really being present. While dwelling on the past and living for the future are common pastimes, it is physically impossible to live anywhere but the present moment. We cannot step out our front door and take a left turn to May of last year, any more than we can take a right turn to December 2010. Nevertheless, we can easily miss the future we are waiting for as it becomes the now we are too busy to pay attention to. We then spend the rest of our time playing “catch up” to the moment that we just let pass by. During moments like these, it is important to remember that there is only Now.

In order to feel more at home in the present moment, it is important to try to stay aware, open, and receptive. Being in the present moment requires our full attention so that we are fully awake to experience it. When we are fully present, our minds do not wander. We are focused on what is going on right now, rather than thinking about what just happened or worrying about what is going to happen next. Being present lets us experience each moment in our lives in a way that cannot be fully lived through memory or fantasy.

When we begin to corral our attention into the present moment, it can be almost overwhelming to be here. There is a state of stillness that has to happen that can take some getting used to, and the mind chatter that so often gets us into our heads and out of the present moment doesn’t have as much to do. We may feel a lack of control because we aren’t busy planning our next move, assessing our current situation, or anticipating the future. Instead, being present requires that we be flexible, creative, attentive, and spontaneous. Each present moment is completely new, and nothing like it has happened or will ever happen again. As you move through your day, remember to stay present in each moment. In doing so, you will live your life without having to wait for the future or yearn for the past. Life happens to us when we happen to life in the Now. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

Journey to the Heart
Respect Life

The message came softly, gently, during the sweat lodge ceremony I went to in Sedona. At the end of the evening, the shaman thanked the rocks-- for glowing with heat, bringing their passion to evening, symbolizing passion in our lives. She thanked the wood that created the fire that heated the rocks-- for giving its life so that we could have warmth, so that we could celebrate the event. She thanked the water for cooling our throats. And she thanked God for life, for each of our lives, for our lifetimes on this planet.

Respect life. All of it. The world moves so fast, it's so easy to forget to respect all that lives, all that is. We get so harried, so hurried, we take life for granted. Take time to remember that all life is sacred. All that is part of creation is a creation, and the same life force moves through us all. With all its trials, tests, worries, heartaches, and sometimes heartbreaks, life is a gift.

A few short years on this planet, then we are gone. Do not spend it worrying about all that has gone wrong. You will miss the lesson. You will miss the gift, the gift of life.

Respect life. All of it. Respect and honor your own.

*****

more language of letting go
Stop fighting it

I go to the refrigerator and open the door. The food in it smells bad; the air feels warm. I decide that the power must have gone off for a while and close the door. My friend comes over later that day and opens the refrigerator, to get himself a soda.

"Whew," he says. "There's something wrong with your refrigerator."

"No, the power just went off for a while," I said.

I don't want anything to be wrong with the refrigerator. I'm busy with too many other things. I don't want to take the time to call a repair service, be interrupted when they come to the house, then be interrupted again and again, as they come back to fix it.

Later that night, I open the refrigerator again, I look for a moment, then slam the door shut. Dang, it is broken, I think. I take all the frustration about the inconvenience and use the energy to surrender to the problem, then get it fixed.

There's a difference between fighting with a problem and pushing against the resistance it offers in our lives. When we fight with the alcoholic to sober up, we're fighting with the problem. When we get hurt and angry enough to push against it, we use that frustration to motivate us to surrender, then go to an Al-Anon meeting, or a therapist, and begin to learn how to detach and take care of ourselves. Life gets better. Instead of fighting with the problem, we're pushing against it, and using the resistance to move down our path.

Are you fighting with a problem in your life right now, instead of using the resistance it offers as a challenge to grow? Instead of depleting your energy fighting with that problem, surrender. Then use the frustration and upset as motivation to assert yourself and take positive action.

God, thank you for the resistance in my life. Help me stop fighting with it and to use that energy to truly solve the problem.

*******************************************

One More Day

My handicap is part of me because I have had to make peace with it. And in doing so, I’ve made peace with the less obvious handicaps of other people, like resentment, prejudice, hate.
– Ginger Hutton

Living with an illness — whether our own or a loved one’s — has taught us that handicaps are not always physical. We begin to understand fear is handicapping, prejudice is handicapping, inaccessibility to the community is handicapping.

More and more we are able to make peace with our own limitations and those of others, and as we do this we gain insight into which of them we have to accept and which we don’t. We recognize there are some limitations we can do something about and others we must accept for the sake of our serenity.

The more tolerant I am, the less limited I become.

*******************************************

A Day at a Time

Reflection for the Day
Among the important things we learn in The Program is to be good to ourselves. For so many of us, though, this is a surprisingly difficult thing to do. Some of us relish our suffering so much that we balloon each happening to enormous proportions in the reliving and telling. Self-pitiers are drawn to martyrdom as if by a powerful magnet – until the joys of serenity and contentment come to them through The Program and Twelve Steps.
Am I gradually learning to be good to myself?
Today I Pray
May I learn to forgive myself. I have asked – and received – forgiveness from God and from others, so why is it so hard to forgive myself? Why do I still magnify my suffering? Why do I go on licking my emotional wounds? May I follow God’s forgiving example, get on with The Program and learn to be good to myself.
Today I Will Remember
Martyrdom; martyr dumb.

************************************************** ***********

Food For Thought

Future Phobia

Irrational worry about the future may have triggered eating binges before we found the OA program. Learning to live one day at a time is a necessary part of controlling our disease. Our instinct for security must not be allowed to run riot any more than the other instincts we are learning to control.

Trusting our Higher Power today ensures that we will trust Him tomorrow also. We do not know what the future holds for us, but we are assured of God’s continuing care and support. To entertain irrational worries about what might or might not happen is to doubt the Power, which is restoring us to sanity. When we take Step Three without reservations, we give up our crippling anxieties.

We do not expect that life will be a rose garden in the future, any more than it is right now. There are problems and disappointments and pains to deal with. What we do expect is the strength to cope with whatever our Higher Power gives us, realizing that the difficult experiences are often the ones from which we learn the most.

May faith in You blot out fear.

[bluidkiti]

August 6

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
What matters?...Only the flicker of light within the darkness, the feeling of warmth within the cold, the knowledge of love within the void. --Joan Walsh Anglund
If we were lost at sea, surrounded by darkness pierced only by one distant blinking light, we would follow that light. As we followed it, it would become clearer and brighter until it brought us safely to land.
Sometimes when we're depressed, we feel as though we're lost on a dark sea. But there is always a flicker of light for us. It may be prayer, or the love of a special friend. When we see that light, we need to move toward it. Whatever brings us hope is like that flicker of light. The more we seek it, the clearer and brighter the light will become.
When we are cold and our bodies begin to numb, we must keep moving. Movement will keep us alive. When our emotions are numb, we need people or things or places that will warm our hearts. When no one else is around, hot baths or a favorite treat can bring the warmth of our own self-love into our lives when we need it the most.
How can I brighten my inner light today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
God respects me when I work, but he loves me when I sing. --Rabindranath Tagore
We seek balance in our lives. The greatest sign of unmanageability in our past was the unbalanced lives we led. This is no easy lesson to learn. We are inclined to grasp for a single answer, thinking we now have the key insight to a happier way of life. As men, many of us have pursued our happiness in work with little time for anything else. Perhaps, for some, the singing and playing we have done were part of our addiction or participating with someone else in their addiction. This makes it feel dangerous or frightening now to be playful in recovery.
We can find ways to have more balance in our lives. Spiritual vitality grows when we make room in our day for lighthearted play as well as the serious tasks.
I pray for guidance from my Higher Power to help me find a balance in my life today.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm. --Dorothy Parker
Variety in experiences is necessary for our continued growth. We mistakenly think that the "untroubled" life would be forever welcome. It's the deep waves of life that teach us to be better swimmers.
We don't know how to appreciate the calm without the occasional storm that pushes us to new limits of ourselves. The calm following the storm offers us the time we need to become comfortable with our new growth. We are ever changing, refining our values, stepping gingerly into uncharted territories. We are forever in partnership in these new territories, let us not forget.
We long for challenge even in the midst of the calm that blesses us. Our inner selves understand the journey; a journey destined to carry us to new horizons; a journey that promises many stormy seasons. For to reach our destination, we must be willing to weather the storms. They are challenges, handpicked for us, designed to help us become all that we need to be in this earthly life.
The mixture of the calm with the storm is not haphazard. Quite the contrary. My growth is at the center of each. I will trust its message.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Solving Problems
Problems are made to be solved!
Some of us spend more time reacting to the fact that we have a problem than we do solving the problem. "Why is this happening to me?" . . . "Isn't life awful?" . . . "How come this had to happen?" . . . "Oh, dear. This is terrible." . . . "Why is God (the Universe, an agency, a person, or life) picking on me?"
Problems are inevitable. Some problems can be anticipated. Some are surprises. But the idea that problems occur regularly need never be a surprise.
The good news is that for every problem, there's a solution. Sometimes the solution is immediate. Sometimes, it takes awhile to discover. Sometimes, the solution involves letting go. Sometimes, the problem is ours to solve; sometimes it isn't. Sometimes, there is something we can clearly do to solve the problem; other times, we need to struggle, flounder, do our part, and then trust our Higher Power for help.
Sometimes, the problem is just part of life. Sometimes, the problem is important because we are learning something through the problem and its solution. Sometimes, problems end up working out for good in our life. They get us headed in a direction that is superior to one we may otherwise have taken.
Sometimes, problems just are; sometimes they are a warning sign that we are on the wrong track.
We can learn to accept problems as an inevitable part of life. We can learn to solve problems. We can learn to trust our ability to solve problems. We can learn to identify which problems are trying to lead us in a new direction, and which simply ask for solving.
We can learn to focus on the solution rather than on the problem, and maintain a positive attitude toward life and the inevitable flow of problems and solutions.
Today, I will learn to trust solutions, rather than be victimized by problems. I will not use problems to prove I am helpless, picked on, or martyred. I will not point to my problems to prove how awful life is. I will learn to trust the flow of problems and solutions. God, help me solve the problems I can solve today. Help me let go of the rest. Help me believe in my ability to tackle and solve problems. Help me trust the flow. For each problem, there is a solution.


Today I do not need to say the first thing that comes into my head, or react to what others say about me. Today I can practice restraint of tongue and pen... think before I speak... and say kind things or nothing at all. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Showing Up for Life
Actively Participating

by Madisyn Taylor

If you show up for yourself in your life, the universe will show up for you.

The way we walk into a room says a lot about the way we live our lives. When we walk into a room curious about what’s happening, willing to engage, and perceiving ourselves as an active participant with something to offer, then we have really shown up to the party. When we walk into a room with our eyes down, or nervously smiling, we are holding ourselves back for one reason or another. We may be hurting inside and in need of healing, or we may lack the confidence required to really be present in the room. Still, just noticing that we’re not really showing up, and having a vision of what it will look and feel like when we do, can give us the inspiration we need to recover ourselves.

Even if we are suffering, we can show up to that experience ready to fully engage in it and learn what it has to offer. When we show up for our life, we are actively participating in being a happy person, achieving our goals, and generally living the life our soul really wants. If we need healing, we begin the process of seeking out those who can help us heal. If we need experience, we find the places and opportunities that can give us the experience we need in order to do the work we want to do in the world. Whatever we need, we look for it, and when we find it, we engage in the process of letting ourselves have it. When we do this kind of work, we become lively, confident, and passionate individuals.

There is almost nothing better in the world than the feeling of showing up for our own lives. When we can do this, we become people that are more alive and who have the ability to make things happen in our lives and the lives of the people around us. We walk through the world with the knowledge that we have a lot to offer and the desire to share it. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

Journey to the Heart
Find Neutral Ground

There is a town in Idaho, Lava Hot Springs, that overflows with quiet,inexpensive hostels offering hot mineral water soaks to all who pass through. Folklore has it that in days long past, warring tribes would put aside their differences when they came here to soak in the waters and heal. This sacred ground was neutral territory.

Although most of us are not at war with another tribe, or even another person, many of us have been at war with ourselves. I have spent years judging myself and my experiences. As I have opened up to my emotions, I have spent time and energy judging those,too. Often, I expend as much energy judging and labeling the experience or emotion, as I do living through it. I have run in terror from grief. I have attacked myself repeatedly for experiencing anger. I have put antagonistic labels on guilt and fear.

Now I am learning the power of neutrality. It speeds my growth process, the time it takes me to learn my lessons. If what I'm going through isn't wrong, then I am free to have the experience and embrace the lessons. Neutrality brings peace and the freedom to learn.

As we continue our journey, the journey of the soul, we can learn to find the peace offered by neutral territory. We let ourselves have our experiences, the ones we've been given. We let each burst of energy we need to feel, pass through without judgement. Good or bad? I don't think so. Just energy. We learn to let others have their emotions and lessons,too.

Discover the power of neutral territory. It is sacred ground that can help you heal.

******

more language of letting go
The lesson may be a test

Sometimes, problems and challenges come to move us to the next place in our lives. Sometimes, they come to challenge and reinforce what we already know and believe.

Maybe that problem in your life has come along to teach you something new.

Maybe it's an opportunity to remember and practice what you already know to be true.

Push against that problem. Push your ideals and beliefs against what's going on. Examine what you think, believe, and feel. Stay open to change. But remember that, sometimes, it's not about changing what you believe. It's an opportunity for you to validate yourself and your beliefs.

We're not always learning something new. Sometimes, the lesson is to remember and trust what you already know.

God, help me to be open to change; help me also to stand fast by my beliefs when they are right.

************************************************** ****************

A Day at a Time

Reflection for the Day
Sometimes through bitter experience and painful lessons, we learn in our fellowship with others in The Program that resentment is our number one enemy. It destroys more of us than anything else. From resentment stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we’ve been not only mentally and physically ill, but spiritually ill as well. As we recover and as our spiritual illness is remedied, we become well physically and mentally.
Am I aware that few things are more bitter than to feel bitter? Do I see that my venom is more poisonous to me than to my victim?
Today I Pray
I ask for help in removing the pile of resentments I have collected. May I learn that resentments are play-actors, too; they may be fears – of losing a job, a love, an opportunity; they may be hurts or guilty feelings. May I know that God is my healer. May I admit my need.
Today I Will Remember

************************************************** **************

Food For Thought

Planting Seeds

The closer we walk with our Higher Power, the more effective our Twelfth Step work is. We always remember that the best thing we can do for other compulsive overeaters is to maintain our own abstinence. Beyond that, we are given opportunities to spread the word as we go about our daily activities.

Mentioning what OA is doing for us may open the door to a new life for one of our friends. It may be a casual acquaintance or even a stranger who needs to hear about the program. Our instincts can guide us as to the best time and place to share news of our recovery.

Often, we may not know what effect, if any; our witness has had on another person. We may be annoyed if we are unable to “sell” the program to someone we think should have it. The results of our Twelfth Step work are in the hands of our Higher Power, and positive effects may show up long after we have planted a seed.

Show me where I may plant seeds of recovery.

[bluidkiti]

August 7

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. --Rainer Maria Rilke
For a relationship to be healthy and fulfilling, each of us must respect the other. "Two solitudes" is exactly what we are, and we will never be one, no matter how close we become. It may feel like that at times, but we always remain separate persons with our own thoughts, feelings, dreams, and interests.
When we love one another, we allow each other to be who we are, to have our own lives, for it is out of those separate lives that we bring strength and energy and life into our relationships.
We are meant to honor the differences between us. Often these differences lead to squabbles, but when we recognize that each of us is necessary to the union we have created, we create a better one, far superior to the sum of its parts.
What differences between us make our lives together better?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We love because it's the only true adventure. --Nikki Giovanni
In loving, we meet ourselves. As we have become more honest, we no longer make excuses about our relationship problems. We can't blame our troubles on our partner. Our problems with love were often because we didn't know how to be close or we didn't dare to be.
When we let ourselves engage in this adventure, we meet many obstacles - things we can't control, and sometimes we want to quit right there. We have arguments and disappointments as well as good feelings. But what adventure is without difficulty or surprises? Part of the reason for choosing new experiences is to confront forces outside our control. A relationship is a dialogue. Only if we stay with it through the frustrations, express our deepest feelings openly, and listen to our partner, do we achieve a new level of understanding and confidence in the relationship. Then deeper levels also open within ourselves.
Today, I will let honesty guide me in this adventure of my love dialogue.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
To have one's individuality completely ignored is like being pushed quite out of life. Like being blown out as one blows out a light. --Evelyn Scott
We need to know that we matter in this life. We need evidence that others are aware of our presence. And thus, we can be certain that others need the same attention from us. When we give it, we get it. So the giving of attention to another searching soul meets our own need for attention as well.
Respectful recognition of another's presence blesses her, God, and ourselves. And we help one another grow, in important ways, each time we pay the compliment of acknowledgment.
We're not sure, on occasion, just what we have to offer our friends, families, co-workers. Why we are in certain circumstances may have us baffled, but it's quite probably that the people we associate with regularly need something we can give them; the reverse is just as likely. So we can begin with close attention to people in our path. It takes careful listening and close observation to sense the message another soul may be sending to our own.
I will be conscious of the people around me. I shall acknowledge them and be thankful for all they are offering me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Saying No
For many of us, the most difficult word to say is one of the shortest and easiest in the vocabulary: No. Go ahead, say it aloud: No.
No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. We're afraid people won't like us, or we feel guilty. We may believe that a "good" employee, child, parent, spouse, or Christian never says no.
The problem is, if we don't learn to say no, we stop liking ourselves and the people we always try to please. We may even punish others out of resentment.
When do we say no? When no is what we really mean.
When we learn to say no, we stop lying. People can trust us, and we can trust ourselves. All sorts of good things happen when we start saying what we mean.
If we're scared to say no, we can buy some times. We can take a break, rehearse the word, and go back and say no. We don't have to offer long explanations for our decisions.
When we can say no, we can say yes to the good. Our no's and our yes's begin to be taken seriously. We gain control of ourselves. And we learn a secret: "No" isn't really that hard to say.
Today, I will say no if that is what I mean.


Today I will do all that I am capable of doing at this time of my life to free myself of past mistakes. And then I will let go and live in my now... fully enjoying today. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Forward Momentum
The Train as Metaphor

by Madisyn Taylor

People can be like trains, making unscheduled stops along the way, but inevitably always arriving at our proper destination.

The rails that crisscross the countryside and cut through cities have long captured people’s imaginations. Just the idea of taking a ride on a luxury train, an express commuter line, or a cargo train can often evoke a sense of freedom, adventure, or romance. Trains are like people in that they must inevitably arrive at their destinations. They make scheduled and unscheduled stops along the way and move at their different speeds. Some trains can travel for hours and are mindful of only a single destination; other trains meander from busy stop to busy stop. The route and purpose of any train may change as the years go by.

Our lives stretch out in front and behind us like train tracks, and we are the train, its passengers, and the engineer. The way you choose to live your life and the goals you are working toward are the route and destinations you have chosen. Like a passenger riding a train, you have the choice to get on and off, find new routes, pick new places to visit, or just stop and enjoy the view for awhile. Perhaps you like to move quickly through life as if you were an express train. Or maybe, like a commuter passenger, you like taking the same routes over and over again. You may even want to stop just riding along and choose a different direction you’d like you’re life to take.

If you have examined the tracks of your life and are feeling unsatisfied, you may want to explore changes you could make to find a more fulfilling path to follow. Perhaps you’d like to slow down a little bit more and take a windier path rather than just traveling down the straight and narrow. Or maybe, you’d like to experience your life more as an adventure rather than just a ride that gets you where you need to go. Changing your route can sometimes give you a chance to “get on the right track.” You may even discover that the something new you’ve been waiting for is just around the bend. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

Journey to the Heart
Be All You Can Be

Step out into the cool night air. Look at the stars. See how they shine. Know that it is okay for you to shine,too.

Who told you you had to hold back? Who told you your gifts, your talents, your beauty-- your natural, beautiful, loving, delightful self-- was wrong? Who told you not to be all you could be? Maybe, as some suggest, we've gotten too comfortable focusing on our flaws, our errors, our dark side. Perhaps it's not our dark side we fear. Perhaps we're really afraid of our gifts, our brilliance, our light.

Now is a time of light. It's time for us to shine. We've worked hard on ourselves, dealt with our issues, gone back to the past. We've learned our lessons well. The reasons to hold back and hide away are no longer there. Enjoy the fruits of your labors.

Be all you can be, and enjoy being that. Don't hold back. Use your gifts with joy. Use your talents. Let your light shine for all the world to see.

Finally, you are free to be all that you are and can be.

*****

more language of letting go
Stop second-guessing yourself

Often in life, when an incident arises, we know what we want and need to do. It's clear. We've already got that lesson under our belt. Our hearts and inner guides are clearly speaking to us about what we want or don't want to do.

But I should be open to change and new ideas, we think. Maybe what I want is wrong. Could it really be that what I want is right? Probably not. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

Like Winnie the Pooh says, "Oh bother. Oh angst."

We're creating this bother and angst ourselves.

Be open to new ideas. We're not always right in what we believe. Stay open to examining and changing your beliefs and ideals. But don't spend all your time second-and third guessing yourself. Your life will whiz by. You won't get anything done. And chances are, those second, third, and fourth guesses will lead you back to the place you started from.

God, help me stop wasting my time and energy second-guessing myself. Help me learn to trust you and to trust myself.

*******************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

What can we do about our resentments? Fruitful experience has shown that the best thing to do is to write them down, listing people, institutions or principles with which we’re angry or resentful. When I write down my resentments and then ask myself why I’m resentful, I’ve discovered that in most cases myself-esteem, my finances, my ambitions, or my personal relationships have been hurt or threatened. Will I ever learn that the worst thing about my resentments is my endless rehearsal of the acts of retribution?

Today I Pray

May God help me find a way to get rid of my resentments. May I give up the hours spent making up little playlets, in which I star as the angry man or woman cleverly shouting down the person who has threatened me. Since these dramas are never produced, may I instead list my resentful feelings and look at the why’s behind each one. May this be a way of shelving them.

Today I Will Remember

Resentments cause violence: resentments cause illness in non-violent people.

*******************************************

One More Day

Eat little at night, open your windows, drive out often, and look for the good in things and people … You will no long be sad, or bored, or ill.
– Mary Knowles

When we get caught up in our problems, it may seem that they will continue to escalate, repeat, and escalate again. We all have hard times — times when we are uncertain whether or not life has meaning, and at those times it may feel as though we have no control over the direction or quality of our lives.

But when we ease back a little and remember the hundreds of small choices we can make, we’re more able to accept some of the large unchangeable realities of our lives. We can’t cure ourselves or change other people, but we can make the choices and take charge of the decisions that are ours.

I can simplify my life by letting go of decisions and problems that aren’t mine to handle.

************************************************** *****************

Food For Thought

Keep It Simple

Complicated food plans and complicated lives work against us in this program. We compulsive overeaters have a hard time making decisions about food, and the more simple our menus, the better. We also tend to overextend ourselves in other areas, dissipating energy, which we need for working our program.

Our three meals a day can be nourishing and attractive without being elaborate. If we spend too much time and energy planning and preparing our food, we run the risk of reactivating our obsession. Too much thinking about food usually leads to overeating and invariably produces mental turmoil.

For our peace of mind and emotional serenity, we need to keep the mechanics of our lives as simple as possible. If the spirit is to be free, it cannot be shackled by over concern with material things.

May I keep life simple today and use my energies for working the program.

[bluidkiti]

August 8

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The important thing is not to conquer but to have fought at all. --Olympic motto
People come from all over the world to participate in the Olympics, and they come with a wide range of talent. A lot of them know they will not win a medal, yet they have trained hard for their event. They meet people from all corners of the earth who love the same activity.
There is a contagious joy and excitement the athletes share in their time together. It is a sense that the sharing of worldwide joy and peace is indeed possible.
Whether we succeed or fail in what we do is not the essential thing. What is important is the heart with which we live our lives.
If I could share something with the world, what would it be?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I got the blues thinking of the future, so I left off and made some marmalade. It's amazing how it cheers one up to 'shred oranges and scrub the floor. --D. H. Lawrence
Focusing on pain or having difficulties can put us in a rut, and we neglect the other things in our lives. A simple task like making marmalade can be a brief vacation. We change our thought patterns when we change activities. The simple action of doing something pleasant might inject a new feeling into our outlook. Sharing a problem with a friend may be all we need to see it more clearly or let it go. Moving from busy physical activity to a few moments of quiet contemplation creates an inner balance. A problem that seems overwhelming at night may be met with new insight and new energy after a night's rest.
We don't have to continue feeling like victims of circumstance or remain stuck with a nagging problem. Just like changing the subject of a conversation, we can change the subject of our attention for a time. When we do, we regain our sense of hope and change our responses.
Today, I will give myself a break when I become caught or obsessed with a problem.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I'm a most lucky and thankful woman. Lucky and thankful for each morning I wake up. For three wonderful daughters and one son. For an understanding and very loving husband with whom I've shared 52 blessed years, all in good health.
--Thelma Elliott
Gratitude for what's been offered us in our lives softens the harsh attitudes we occasionally harbor. Life presents us with an assortment of blessings; some bring us immediate joy; some invite tears; others foster fear. What we need help in understanding is that all experiences are meant for our good, all bless us in some manner. If we are able to see the big picture, we'd greet all situations, large and small, with a thankful heart.
It's so very easy to wish away our lives, never finding satisfaction with our families, our jobs, and our friends. The more we find fault with life, the more fault we are guaranteed to find. Negative attitudes attract negative experiences; while positive attitudes lighten whatever burden we may be learning from.
The years pass so quickly. Our chances to enjoy life pass quickly too. We can grab what comes our way and be grateful. We are never certain that this experience offered now might not be our last.
Each morning I awake is blessing number one.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Saying Yes
Yesterday we talked about learning to say no. Today let's discuss another important word: Yes.
We can learn to say yes to things that feel good, to what we want - for others and ourselves.
We can learn to say yes to fun. Yes to meetings, to calling a friend, asking for help.
We can learn to say yes to healthy relationships, to people and activities that are good for us.
We can learn to say yes to ourselves, what we want and need, our instincts, and the leading of our Higher Power.
We can learn to say yes when it feels right to help someone. We can learn to say yes to our feelings. We can learn to identify when we need to take a walk, take a nap, have our back rubbed, or buy ourselves flowers.
We can learn to say yes to work that is right for us.
We can learn to say yes to all that will nurture and nourish us. We can learn to say yes to the best life and love has to offer.
Today, I will say yes to all that feels good and right.


The peace that I feel in my life is growing richer every day. As I continue to walk on my spiritual path to recovery, I let myself be guided by truth and love. Conflict is leaving, making more and more room for charity, serenity and usefulness. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Composing Bliss
Poetry as Meditation

by Madisyn Taylor

Sculpting your thoughts into a poem can take you on a journey where your conscious mind is momentarily cast adrift.

The creation of any kind of art can be as much a form of meditation as a vehicle for self-expression. Energetically splashing colors of paint onto a canvas can be like casting the weight of the world off your shoulders, while raising your voice to hit the high notes of a song can inspire you to release your fears so you can reach new heights in your own life. And then there is the act of meditation that can take place when you create poetry. Sculpting your thoughts and emotions into a poem can take you on a journey into your inner universe where your conscious mind is momentarily cast adrift.

Like other forms of meditation, writing poetry requires that you stay fully present during the process, rather than focusing on any outcome. In doing so, you release any inhibitions or ideas of “what needs to happen,” so that your thoughts can flow freely through you. When you write poetry, you are able to see the reflections of your innermost self imprinted on a page.

If you’d like to experience poetry as a meditation practice, you might want to try this exercise: Set aside twenty minutes where you can be alone in a quiet space. You may want to look at poems other people have written to see if there is a style of poetry you would like to try. You can also try writing in freeform. The structure of the poem will then organically reveal itself to you. When you are ready, sit down with pen and paper and let the words flow. Don’t think about what you are going to say next, and don’t worry about spelling, grammar, or logic. Instead, be as descriptive, visually precise, rhythmic, or lyrical as you want to be. When you feel complete, put the pen down, and read over what you’ve written. Appreciate this work of art you have created. You may even find that thoughts and emotions you had repressed before are now making themselves known so you can process and release them. Writing poetry as a form of meditation lets you slow down your mind long enough for you to get out of your own way, so that your soul can freely express its deepest yearnings. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

Journey to the Heart
Touch the Timeless Rhythms of Life

Chaco Canyon, New Mexico, touched me deeply, profoundly. It sang to my soul. I walked through the canyon viewing the remnants of the Anasazi culture, touching, seeing, experiencing what was left of their sophisticated society, a civilization over two thousand years old. I felt reverence and humility as I touched the stones of a culture that no longer existed. I could almost see the people who lived there, busy with their work, their relationships, their goals, their fears and hopes. Just like us. I wondered if they knew that someday their society would be extinct, gone, vanished. I wondered if they knew how important they were, how each of us plays a tiny part in the eternal dance of the universe.

It's so easy to become consumed by the details of our lives, to be impressed with the technology of our own society, to get lost in the business and busyness of our ways. But it's important to remember ancient cultures, other civilizations, other lives lived long ago-- the lessons of our planet, the timeless lessons of love and life. I wept with wonder, awe, and joy at how important yet humble each of our lives is. My soul vibrated with the awareness of eternity with the infinite rhythms of life.

I lingered at Chaco Canyon, not wanting to leave. A still voice whispered to my soul, reminding me that I could return as often as I needed and wanted, because this place was now part of me, part of my heart.

Allow your soul to awaken. Allow it to soar. Touch the timeless rhythm and cycles of life.

*****

more language of letting go
You're being protected

It's easy to be thankful for answered prayers, easy to be joyfully grateful when the universe gives us exactly what we want. What's not so easy is to remember to be grateful when we don't get what we want.

John wanted an executive position in the company he worked for. He worked hard for the promotion. He prayed daily for his promotion, while giving a hundred percent of his energy and dedication to the position that he was in. But when the time came, he was passed over for his dream job. He left the company shortly after that. Today, he runs his own company with more responsibility, success, and joy than he could have ever hoped for at his old firm.

Susan, a recovering addict, wanted to date Sam more than anything. They got along great those times they ran into each other at work. He was charming, handsome, and sober, she thought. For months she tried to arrange a date with him, prayed that God would bring him into her life. But things never seemed to work out. She didn't know why. He seemed so interested in her. She was positive that the relationship was divinely ordained. She was stunned when she arrived at work one morning to find that Sam had died the night before of a drug overdose. He had been using drugs and lying about it the whole time.

Sometimes we get what we ask for. Sometimes we don't. God says, "No." Be grateful-- force gratitude; fake it if you must-- when God answers your furtive prayers by saying no.

Take the rejections with a smile. Let God's "no's" move you happily down the road. Maybe you're not being punished, after all. Maybe God's protecting you from yourself.

God, thank you for not always giving me what I think is best.

*******************************************

A Day At A Time
August 8

Reflection For The Day

As a recovering alcoholic, I have to remind myself that no0 amount of social acceptance of resentments will take the poison out of them. In a way, the problem of resentments is very much like the drinking problem. Alcohol is never safe for me; no matter who is offering it. I’ve attended cocktail receptions for worthy causes, often in a convivial atmosphere that makes drinking seem almost harmless. Just as I politely but adamanity decline alcohol under any conditions, will I also refuse to accept resentments — no matter who is serving them?

Today I Pray

When anger, hurt, fear or guilt — to be socially acceptable — put on their polite, pary manners, dress up as resentment and come in the side door, may I not hobnob with them. These emotions, disguised as they are, can be a full of trickery as the chemicals themselves.

Today I Will Remember

Keep an eye on the side door.

*******************************************

One More Day
August 8

Man can do much for himself as respects his own improvement, unless self-love so blinds him that he cannot see his own imperfections and weaknesses.
– Martha Wilson

Remember Hide and Seek? Oleeey oleeey in free? What wonderful times they were when we were so certain we could hide from others. Now we are adults, and one would think we are no longer hiding. That’s not, unfortunately, always true. Many of us hide within negative behaviors which become habits.

Looking at our own weaknesses is a difficult task. We understand we have character defects, but we’re afraid to change our familiar patterns. If we can admit there is a problem, we’ve taken the first step. Wanting to change comes next. Finally, we won’t be hiding anymore.

Self-improvement is within my reach if I admit my negative behavior.

************************************************** ****************

In God’s Care

The first step toward inner peace is to decide to give love, not receive it.
~~Bernie S. Siegel

“This is a selfish program.” How many time have we heard this? It is true, of course. Whenever we make a Twelfth Step call we are doing it essentially for ourselves. We always benefit. God has given us this direct accesss to happiness, It is a lovely paradox that when we give we also receive. We are always helped by trying to help another.

Our decision to give love, then, can be a calculated one – we already know the results. This shouldn’t be our motive though. Wondering what we are getting out of giving to others can be a hindrance to our peace of mind because we’re missing God’s point. If we concentrate on the giving, the receiving will take care of itself.

Today I will try to give unselfishly.

************************************************** ****************

Day By Day

Recovering love

Our Higher Power has always loved us and always will. Our problem is learning to accept and believe that. While using mood-altering chemicals, we were unable to accept this love. Later, we could not even believe in this love. And for many of us, the same problems are true in our other relatioships.

By getting free of mood-altering chemicals, by getting into recovery and going to Twelve Step meetings, we will see love in action. We will see that it is real and can be trusted. We will feel its power to heal and make whole.

Am I experiencing love again?

Higher Power, help me to absorb the love that flows in the fellowship.

Today I will be especially loving toward…

************************************************** **************

Food For Thought

Reflecting Light

We are made to reflect the goodness and light of our Higher Power. In order to do this, we need to be as free as possible of the negative emotions and self-will which block out God’s light. The light is always here. It is our job to keep ourselves free from the entanglements and hang-ups, which cloud our vision.

Our primary means of staying in the light is to abstain from compulsive overeating. Without clean abstinence, we become muddled in our thinking and in our emotions. God’s light and love can shine through our lives if we are physically ready to receive and reflect.

Working the Steps frees us from the negative emotions, which block out the light. At first we may have wondered how the Twelve Steps were related to our problems. As we progress in the program, we see that without the spiritual growth, which they facilitate, we cannot be fully open to the light from our Higher Power.

Prepare me to reflect Your light.

[bluidkiti]

August 9

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
What is without periods of rest will not endure. --Ovid
When we are tired, we need to stop and give ourselves time to rest. Sometimes we think we can't spare the time. But without rest, all our activity soon becomes a burden and there is no joy in it. Animals know it is necessary to take time to rest. This is part of the rhythm of life: activity and rest, effort and relaxation.
Our bad moods are often our body's way of telling us we need rest. When we were little, we needed naps. Somehow, we forget to allow ourselves this right when we are older. We are wise to remember we never outgrow this need for rest to make the day go better.
When we return to our day refreshed, we have given ourselves and all those around us the gift of ourselves at our best.
What can I do better when I am rested?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We must embrace the absurd and go beyond everything we have ever known. --Janie Gustafson
We have stepped beyond the limits of our former life and accepted the possibility of the unknown. Many of us have always tried to be rational, to trust only what we could understand or reason through. That attempt served the part of us that lusted for control and power, but it kept us from unknown possibilities and dreams.
When we decide to be less controlling, we begin to believe in possibilities we didn't allow before. That is how we let God influence our lives. Perhaps we don't see a reasonable way to a more satisfying job, but we can be open to surprising possibilities. We may see nothing we can do to overcome our compulsions, but we pray for God to remove our shortcomings in God's way, and already we have a new attitude.
God, give me the courage to step into the unknown, the absurd, and experience the awakening of my spirit.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
For me, stopping smoking wasn't a matter of will power, but being will-less. --Joan Gilbertson
Most of us have struggled, willfully, with untold numbers of addictions; liquor, uppers, downers, sugar, chocolate, cigarettes, men. The more we became determined to control our use or to abstain, the greater the compulsion felt for one drink, one bite, one puff. Giving in completely was the turning point.
This recovery program helps each of us find relief from our primary addiction once we humble ourselves, accept our powerlessness, and ask for help. It can help us equally effectively, every day, with any problem we are willfully trying to control. Is a family member causing us grief? Is a co-worker creating anxiety? Has a close friend pulled away? We expend so much energy trying to manage outcomes! In most cases, our attempt to control will invite even more resistance.
The program offers the way out of any frustrating situation. We can be mindful of our powerlessness and cherish the opportunities offered by our higher power. We can turn over whatever our problem to God and quietly, trustingly, anticipate the resolution. It's guaranteed.
How much easier I will find life's experiences if I will let go of my willful ways. The right outcome in all cases will more quickly surface.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Asking for What We Need
Decide what it is you want and need, then go to the person you need it from and ask for it.
Sometimes, it takes hard work and much energy to get what we want and need. We have to go through the pains of identifying what we want, then struggle to believe that we deserve it. Then, we may have to experience the disappointment of asking someone, having the person refuse us, and figuring out what to do next.
Sometimes in life, getting what we want and need is not so difficult. Sometimes, all we need to do is ask.
We can go to another person, or our Higher Power, and ask for what we need.
But because of how difficult it can be, at times, to get what we want and need, we may get trapped in the mind set of believing it will always be that difficult. Sometimes, not wanting to go through the hassle, dreading the struggle, or out of fear, we may make getting what we want and need much more difficult than it needs to be.
We may get angry before we ask, deciding that we'll never get what we want, or anticipating the "fight" we'll have to endure. By the time we talk to someone about what we want, we may be so angry that we're demanding, not asking; thus our anger triggers a power play that didn't exist except in our mind.
Or we may get so worked up that we don't ask--or we waste far more energy than necessary fighting with ourselves, only to find out that the other person, or our Higher Power, is happy to give us what we want.
Sometimes, we have to fight and work and wait for what we want and need. Sometimes, we can get it just by asking or stating that this is what we want. Ask. If the answer is no, or not what we want, then we can decide what to do next.
Today, I will not set up a difficult situation that doesn't exist with other people, or my Higher Power, about getting what I want and need. If there is something I need from someone, I will ask first, before I struggle.


Today I will take the time and quiet I need to find that place of peace and happiness within me. Whatever happens outside of me will never replace that which I can find within me wherever I am. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Grow in Your Sensitivity to Toxicity

Just as we are becoming more careful about our earth and the toxins we put into the ground and air, so will we grow in our sensitivity to events, people, places, and substances that are toxic to us.

Our bodies will speak to us, tell us what they don't want, what they can't handle anymore. Our bodies will tell us what hurts, what we're allergic to, what we wish to move away from. Often, underneath the toxins are old, embedded emotions. Release the emotions and you release the toxins. Our bodies will gasp for clarity, purity, cleansing, and detoxification.

What is toxic to one person may not be toxic to the next. What my body wants and needs today may be different from what yours wants and needs today. The answer is in listening-- listening to our bodies, listening to what they're saying, how they're reacting to the people, the substances, the world around us. Listen. What is your body telling you?

Grow in your sensitivity to toxicity. Trust the messages from your body. Let yourself heal.

*****

more language of letting go
Be thankful when you get something else

Dear God,
Thank for for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
--Children's Letters to God

Sometimes we look around, assess the situation, and decide what we think we need. So we go to God and begin praying.

Out of the blue, our prayers get answered. But the answer isn't what we requested. We were so specific, we think. Now, this-- this thing-- has come along. We didn't get what we asked for. Our prayers were answered, but we got something else.

Don't get bitter or so involved with feeling blue about not getting what you requested that you miss out on what you did receive. Wants and needs are closely connected. And all our needs, even the ones we're not completely aware of yet, will be met. Be grateful that God knows more about what we need than we do.

Sometimes when we pray, we get what we want. Sometimes we get what we need. Accept both answers-- the yes's and the something else's-- with heartfelt gratitude. Then look around and see what your lesson and gift is.

God, help me remember to be thankful even when the gift is not quite what I expected.

*****

Extra Weight
Choosing Loving Care

by Madisyn Taylor

Our bodies are not our enemies, treat it with the care and support your mind, body and spirit deserve.


Our bodies are like living temples, and deserve all the love and care we can give them. Amazingly flexible and strong, they allow us to experience the world. If we notice that we’re not feeling our best, that we’ve put on extra weight, or that our favorite clothes don’t fit, we can make the choice to be good to ourselves in a new way today.

There are times we become conscious of a deeper hunger that will not be satisfied physically. We can make a new, healthier choice for ourselves in any moment, regardless of the hour, day, week or month. And when we make the choice lovingly, we work from a creative place of improving our lives and nurturing the best within us, so there is no need to punish ourselves. From this place, we can be gently honest with ourselves about the reasons we want to eat certain foods. We can reach out to doctors to help us determine if our bodies are out of balance at a level that requires something other than basic nutrients. We can also reach out to our friends for support and to share the journey of health, which is just another part of our adventure on the physical plane.

When we treat ourselves and our bodies as we would a trusted and loyal companion, we keep our energy free from negative thoughts that would complicate our journey. Our bodies are not our enemies, and we are not fighting a battle. Instead, we are investing our love and attention into the care and support of a beautiful creation—our selves. Published with permission from Daily OM

************************************************

A Day At A Time
August 9

Reflection For The Day

On numerous occasions, I’ve found that there’s a strong connection between my fears and my resentments. If I secretly fear that I’m inadequate, for example, I’ll tend to resent deeply anybody whose actions or words expose my imagined inadequacy. But it’s usually too painful to admit that my own fears and doubts about myself are the cause of my resentments. It’s a lot easier to pin the blame on someone Else’s “bad behavior” or “selfish motives” – and use that as the justification for my resentment. Do I realize that by resenting someone, I all that person to live rent-free in my head?

Today I Pray

May God help me overcome my feelings of inadequacy. May I know that when I consistently regard myself as a notch or two lower than the next person, I am not giving due credit to my Creator, who has given each of us a special and worthwhile blend of talents. I am, in fact, grumbling about God’s Divine Plan. May I look behind my trash-pile of resentments for my own self-doubt.

Today I Will Remember

As I build myself up, I tear down my resentments.

*******************************************

One More Day
August 9

Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.
– Malcolm X

Those of us who have a chronic illness often feel a lot of anger, but we can choose how to deal with the anger. If we insist on denying it, we may isolate ourselves and be numbed by an unbearable sadness. Or we might lash out at the people we love.

A sounder choice for us is to acknowledge our anger — and our right to be angry. We don’t deserve illness. Or pain. When we allow ourselves these honest reactions, we are freer to move toward acceptance — and action. When we accept our limitations — no matter how unfair they are — we then can decide where and how and when we will make needed changes in our lives.

My anger can lead me toward growth if I use it in the right ways.

************************************************** *****************

In God’s Care

We cannot always oblige, but we can always speak obligingly.
~~Voltaire

Sometimes we forget that we’re all special people who are in each others’ lives for a purpose. Our Higher Power has guaranteed each of us love, growth, and support. In return, we’re expected to treat our fellow travelers respectfully and courteously. Abrupt or harsh comments put people on the defensive and strain communication. Then none of us feels the support and love we need from one another.

We can ease a friend or co-worker’s troubles today by quietly, calmly relying on our Higher Power to help us in our conversations. And when we are troubled, we don’t need to project our tenseness or anxiety to everyone around us. We will gain esteem for ourselves and show love to the other person if we share our words in a loving tone. It’s relly so easy to decide to honor one another in this way. In the process, we are honoring God too.

I will speak kindly and lovingly to others today.

************************************************** *****************

Day By Day

Admitting unmanageability

“What do you mean, ‘unmangeable’?” we ask when we first come into the program. (And we are surprised at the smiling faces and suppressed chuckles.) We have been living with our delusions for so long that we really believe everything is okay – or will be okay next week. We simply can’t see how out of control our lives truly are: angry creditors, unemployment, separation or divorce, health problems.

Some of these situations were ridiculous, others tragic – and still we fantasized that we were in control. After a period of time in the program, however, living with them seems hard to imagine. But if we still think we have control, we need to ask for help in facing our delusions and our tomorrow-will-be-better syndrome.

Have I turned the management of my life over to God?

Higher Power, help me to truly accept Step One.

I will look at what is unmanageable in my life today by…

************************************************** ****************

Food For Thought

Daily Inventory

When we are not functioning up to par, we need to find out where the problem is. If the day begins to fall apart and we feel overwhelmed and unable to cope, it may be a good idea to stop and take inventory.

Examining the quality of our abstinence is a good place to begin. Have we permitted thoughts of making a small exception here and there? Are we dwelling too much on what we will have for the next meal? Did we make a substitution, which gave us more carbohydrates than we could handle?

If the problem is not with abstinence, then it must be in our emotional or spiritual life. Are we harboring resentments, which are poisoning our outlook? Have we made a mistake, which we are unwilling to admit? Is there something we need to do for a family member that we are procrastinating about doing? Are we denying a legitimate need of our own?

Grant me the honesty to confront my weaknesses.

[bluidkiti]

August 10

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
It may be those who do most dream most. --Stephen Leacock
Where would we be without the dreamers of the world--the ones who took the time to balance on the edge of wonder? Amazing connections, powerful images, and creative ideas come to us in daydreams. They creep in when we least expect them, like sleek cats, then make their presence known to us with a gentle pounce.
When we give ourselves permission to daydream--to sit for a while and do nothing but be quiet with our thoughts, we give ourselves a precious gift. And who knows, we just might be giving the world a priceless gift, too! Out of the seeds of some of our dreams, great ideas will blossom.
What first step can I take today to make a dream come true?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
According to the teachers, there is only one thing that all people possess equally. This is their loneliness. --Hyemeyohsts Storm
Many of us have tried to find a way to outwit our loneliness, or to escape its truth. We have learned that we cannot. As fathers looking at our children we may wish to spare them this pain. As men with our mates, we have dreamed of an ideal connection where all loneliness was dispelled.
We can't obliterate loneliness. But we can learn to accept and deal with it. There is no need to compulsively cover all traces and all reminders that we are alone. We can accept this universal truth. We are alone, but so is everybody. We can make true contact with each other out of our aloneness. True intimacy with another man or woman comes out of first seeing our separateness, and then bridging the gap.
Today, I accept the feeling of loneliness as part of life. I can make contact with my brothers and sisters, knowing we are all in the same condition.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
...the growth of understanding follows an ascending spiral rather than a straight line. --Joanna Field
We each are traveling our own, very special path in this life. At times our paths run parallel to each other. On occasion they may intersect. But we do all have a common destination: knowledge of life's meaning. And we'll arrive at knowledge when we've arrived at the mountain's summit, separately and yet together.
We do not go straight up the side of the mountain on this trip. We circle it, slowly, carefully, sometimes losing our footing, sometimes back-tracking because we've reached an impasse. Many times we have stumbled, but as we grow in understanding, as we rely more and more on our inner strength, available for the taking, we become more sure-footed.
We have never needed to take any step alone on this trip. Our troubles in the past were complicated because we did not know this; but now we do. Our lifeline is to our higher power. If we hang onto it, every step of the way will feel secure. The ground will be stable under us.
I am on a path to full understanding. I am learning to trust the lifeline offered by the program and God and my friends. As I learn, my footing is less tentative, and it supports me more securely.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Perfection
As I journey through recovery, more and more I learn that accepting myself and my idiosyncrasies - laughing at myself for my ways - gets me a lot further than picking on myself and trying to make myself perfect. Maybe that's really what it's all about - absolute loving, joyous, nurturing self-acceptance. --Anonymous
Stop expecting perfection from yourself and those around you.
We do a terrible, annoying thing to others and ourselves when we expect perfection. We set up a situation where others, including ourselves, do not feel comfortable with us. Sometimes, expecting perfection makes people so uptight that they and we make more mistakes than normal because we are so nervous and focused on mistakes.
That does not mean we allow inappropriate behaviors with the excuse "nobody's perfect." That doesn't mean we don't have boundaries and reasonable expectations of people and ourselves.
But our expectations need to be reasonable. Expecting perfection is not reasonable.
People make mistakes. The less anxious, intimidated, and repressed they are by expectations of being perfect, the better they will do.
Striving for excellence, purity in creativity, a harmonious performance, and the best we have to offer does not happen in the stymied, negative, fear-producing atmosphere of expecting perfection.
Have and set boundaries. Have reasonable expectations. Strive to do your best. Encourage others to do the same. But know that others and we will make mistakes. Know that others and we will have learning experiences, things we go through.
Sometimes, the flaws and imperfections in ourselves determine our uniqueness, the way they do in a piece of art. Relish them. Laugh at them. Embrace them, and ourselves.
Encourage others and ourselves to do the best we can. Love and nurture others and ourselves for being who we are. Then realize we are not merely human - we were intended and created to be human.
Today, God, help me let go of my need to be perfect and to unreasonably insist that others are perfect. I will not use this to tolerate abuse or mistreatment, but to achieve appropriate, balanced expectations. I am creating a healthy atmosphere of love, acceptance, and nurturing around and within me. I trust that this attitude will bring out the best in other people and in me.


Today I know my Higher Power is guiding me through the changes I choose to make in my life. I have all the energy I need today to make these changes as easily and effortless as I wish. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Find Places of Healing

Find places of healing. Discover people, things, and places that nourish your soul, bring you back to center, help you heal.

Life is not an endurance contest. Not anymore. We are not in a race to see how long we can go without, how much we can go without, how much pain we can stay in. Although sometimes we go through dry spells and droughts, we are not cactuses.

There is a place in each of us that wants to heal, that can heal, that will heal. It's a peaceful place, one of nourishment, replenishment, peace, safety, comfort, and joy. It's a place of love and acceptance. It's a place of forgiveness, honesty, openness, nurturing, and kindness. You can find it quickly, if that's what you're seeking. You will recognize it instantly because of how it feels. It will bring you back to center. It will bring you back to calm. It will bring you back to joy.

Find places of healing. Then go there often. They are yours for the asking, yours for the seeking. Healing places are an important part of the journey.

*****

more language of letting go
It's all a gift

Men are not angered by mere misfortune but by misfortune conceived as injury. And the sense of injury depends on the feeling that a legitimate claim has been denied.
--C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

Oh, the grousing about we do, especially when we feel denied of one thing or another-- some reward, or achievement, or position that we felt belonged to us.

How enraged we may become when a wish, a hope, a dream, or a want is blatantly denied.

How easy it is to be jealous of the success or happiness of another, even convincing ourselves that the person has laid claim to something that rightfully belonged, instead, to us.

The lesson here is simple.

Remember to be grateful. God doesn't owe us anything. All of it is a gift.

God, thanks for everything, jusr as it is.

*****

Worthiness
Accepting Our Calling

by Madisyn Taylor

Our worth of being on the planet at this time cannot be judged as we are all worthy and essential to being here now.

The issue of worthiness may come up in many areas of our lives, as we ask, often unconsciously, whether we are worthy of success, love, happiness, and countless other things, from supportive relationships to a beautiful home. In the end, though, it all comes down to one thing: our willingness to claim our space in this life as humans on this planet at this time. When we accept our divinity, we no longer question whether we are worthy, because we know that we are meant to be here to fulfill a particular purpose, a purpose that no one other than us can fulfill.

There are no replacements who can take over and live our lives for us, no other person who has had the experiences we have had, who has access to the same resources and relationships, who carries the same message to share with the world. Our purpose may be large or small, and in most cases it is multi-leveled, with important actions taking place on the interpersonal level, as well as in terms of the work we do in the world. Small acts of kindness share the stage with large acts of sacrifice, and only through accepting and honoring our divinity can we know what we are called to do and when.

Ultimately, we are all equally, exactly, completely worthy of being here in this life. Moreover, we are all essential to the unfolding plan of which we are each one small, but important, part. If we suffer from low self worth, it is because we have lost track of understanding this truth, and allowing it to guide our actions in the world. Seeing ourselves as part of something larger, as beings called to serve, is the ultimate cure for feelings of unworthiness. In the end, it’s not about evaluating ourselves as worthy or unworthy, so much as it’s about accepting that we have been called here to serve and taking the steps required to listen and respond to what our lives are asking us to do. Published with permission from Daily OM

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One More Day

Few men are so miserable as not to like to talk of their misfortunes…. – Maria Edgeworth

“Don’t get stuck in a conversation with Harry. He’ll bore you to death telling you his problems.” We have all had the experience of being warned away from a certain person. There have probably even been times when we were the “Harry” others tried to avoid. It’s normal to dwell on our troubles, and we all like to talk about them. There is an added responsibility on our shoulders now that there is a medical problem present.

We can minimize that problem by becoming aware of what we are doing and by saving our long medical conversations for the people who really care and need to know. Otherwise, we will find that our friends will slip away, uncertain of how to bear the burden of our changed health.

Caution will become my watchword as I learn to live with my altered health problems.

*********************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We’ve been our own worst enemies most of our lives, and we’ve often injured ourselves seriously as a result of a “justified” resentment over a slight wrong. Doubtless there are many causes for resentment in the world, all of them providing “justification.” But we can never begin to settle all the world’s grievances or even arrange things so as to please everybody. If we’ve been treated unjustly by others or simply by life itself, we can avoid compounding the difficulty by completely forgiving the persons involved and abandoning the destructive habit of reviewing our hurts and humiliations. Can i believe that yesterday’s hurt is today’s understanding, rewoven into tomorrow’s love?

Today I Pray

Whether I am unjustly treated or just think I am, may I try not to be a resentful person, stewing over past injuries. Once I have identified the root emotion behind my resentment, may I be big enough to forgive the person involved and wise enough to forget the whole thing.

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In God’s Care
August 10, 2013God has an exasperating habit of laying his hands on the wrong man.
~~Joseph D. Blinco

At times it seems grossly unfair that we are in the position we find ourselves. Either we aren’t ready to deal with the circumstances we encounter, or the people we find ourselves with don’t understand our problems. We feel we’re with the wrong people in the wrong place at the wrong time. But is this true?

How many times have we heard a nugget of wisdom from an unlikely source? Each of us can remember the comfort of a smile, a kind word, or a piece of sound advice from someone whom we least expected it from. Perhaps this was God’s way of reminding us that we all have value to each other and to God. We are never in the wrong place or in the wrong hands.

I will try to remember that there is a purpose for everything in my life.

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Day By Day

Adapting to the world“Live only in today; don’t worry about tomorrow.” That’s a fine ambition, we may think, but what does it mean? “Living in today” means dealing only with what is at hand now and the available courses of action.

If we are worrying about matters in the past or future, or out of our realm, we can disengage ourselves from them. We cannot bend the world to our will.

Am I learning to fit myself to the world?

Higher Power, help me remember to conquer myself, not the world.

Today I will practice adapting myself to whatever happens by

************************************************** ****************

Food For Thought

No Compromises

Where abstinence is concerned, there can be no compromising. In order to control our illness, we are willing to go to any lengths to maintain abstinence. Nothing else is as important to us.

If we are eating in a restaurant where the right kind of vegetable is not available, we can order two salads or do without a vegetable for one meal, rather than substitute a starch which will activate our disease. We learn what we can handle and what is not for us, and then we act on that knowledge in every situation. To compromise “just this once” is an invitation to trouble.

Just as we have a certain way of eating for the maintenance of our recovery, so we have a way of living based on the principle of rigorous honesty. Honesty in all of our activities is what makes us strong and effective. Where the core principles of our program are concerned, we do not compromise.

By Your grace, may I maintain my integrity in all situations.

[bluidkiti]

August 11

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Friends are people who help you be more yourself, more the person you are intended to be. --Merle Shain
Sometimes a teacher, sometimes a neighbor, almost always our moms and dads encourage us to try new activities or to improve our schoolwork, sports, drawing, or gardening. Because they are our friends, they want us to be the best we can be.
Not everyone knows how to be a friend. Some people only criticize, and never praise. People who never encourage or praise us are usually unhappy with their own achievements. They don't mean us harm. Perhaps they just need a friend, too. Not only do we each need friends to help us grow, we need to be friends to others. To encourage and praise those who need it will help us in return.
Whose friend can I be today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile and then come back to it and begin again. --Robert Frost
Do we think it's weak to need a break? Do we ignore the need to recharge our batteries? Responsibility for our own lives requires us to recognize the need to restore our energy. Maybe our former escape from the world was by using food, or drugs, or spending money, or sexual release, or preoccupation with another person.
Now, since we are developing the ability to be with ourselves, we can take a break from the world and come back restored. This meditation time generates more energy for our lives. Recreation with friends, a walk, a movie, or a concert does the same. Taking responsibility to get away is a good cure for self-pity and exhaustion.
Today, I will be aware of my need to restore my energy.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Imagination has always had powers of resurrection that no science can match. --Ingrid Bengis
In the imagination are transmitted messages, from God to us. Inspiration is born there. So are dreams. Both give rise to the goals that urge us forward, that invite us to honor this life we've been given with a contribution, one like no other contribution.
Our imagination offers us ideas to ponder, ideas specific to our development. It encourages us to take steps unique to our time, our place, our intended gifts to the world. We can be alert to this special "inner voice" and let it guide our decisions; we can trust its urgings. It's charged with serving us, but only we can decide to "listen."
The imagination gives us another tool: belief in ourselves. And the magic of believing offers us strength and capabilities even beyond our fondest hopes. It prepares us for the effort we need to make and for handling whatever outcome God has intended.
My imagination will serve me today. It will offer me the ideas and the courage I need to go forth.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Healing
Let healing energy flow through your body.
The healing energy of God, the Universe, life, and recovery surrounds us. It is available, waiting for us to draw on it, waiting for us to draw it in. It's waiting at our meetings or groups, on the words of a whispered prayer, in a gentle touch, a positive word, a positive thought. Healing energy is in the sun, the wind, and the rain, in all that is good.
Let healing energy come. Attract it. Accept it. Let it soak in. Breathe in the golden light. Exhale. Let go of fear, anger, hurt, and doubt. Let healing energy flow to you, through you.
It is yours for the asking, for the believing.
Today, I will ask for, and accept, the healing energy from God and the Universe. I will let it flow to me, through me, and back out to others. I am part of, and at one with, the continuous cycle of healing.


I will take time today to stop and give a gift to someone needy, smile at a stranger or help a small child. I will take the time to do at least one thing that I usually find myself too busy to do, and I will inwardly smile at myself, taking the time to experience the feelings of my own kindness. --Ruth Fishel

*****

You Deserve to Have Your Dreams Come True
Personal Power

Power is not about exerting our will over others, it is about being in complete truth with yourself.


Many of us have do not understand what personal power means. We have been given the false notion that power is bad—that it is something we use to exert our will upon others. In fact, when our personal power is intact, we are neither overbearing nor meek. We have a clear sense of our strength and the impact we can have on others. This actually enables us to be more sensitive. Personal power is what permits us to work on behalf of our dreams and desires. It allows us to realize that we are worthy and deserve to be heard. In addition, our personal power lets us extend the respect we know that we deserve to the people around us. There is no reason to be afraid or ashamed of fully owning your power.

In the chakra system, the solar plexus is the seat of personal power. One way to evaluate your sense of power is to breathe into this part of the body. If it feels tight or nervous, it is an indication that you may not be fully expressing your power. You can heal this imbalance by expanding the area of the solar plexus with your breath. You can also visualize a bright yellow sun in this part of your body. Allow its heat to melt any tension, and let its light dissolve any darkness or heaviness. Repeating this exercise on a regular basis can restore and rejuvenate your sense of power.

Another way to nurture your personal power is to honor your dreams and desires by making concrete plans to manifest them in the world. Start by making a list of things you want, and let yourself think big. Choose one goal from the list and commit to bringing it to fruition. In addition, break the goal into tasks that you can work on each day. Know that you deserve to have your dreams come true and that you have the power to bring them into being. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

Journey to the Heart
Trust Yourself

When you look around, feel insecure, and wonder who you can trust, know you can trust yourself.

We often stand like little children, holding out our hands, waiting for someone to lead us somewhere, anywhere. We hope that someone can show us what we need to do next. We think, Maybe someone else knows better. But that thought is often the beginning of trouble. If we choose to let others lead us around, we'll soon find out that they don't know what's best for us.

If we abdicate responsibility for our choices,we may become angry, sometimes full of rage at others for running our lives, for telling us what to do. We need to take responsibility. We need to trust ourselves.

Sometimes we do get clues or hints from others. Sometimes we get direction from outside ourselves. But it must resonate with our heart. It must resonate with what we know to be true.

And the direction we take, what we do next, needs to be our choice, because whether we see it or not, it is our choice.

Trust and respond to your own heart. Trust the wisdom and guidance within you.

*****

more language of letting go
Pray for those you resent

My favorite story about praying for those I resent is one I told in Playing It By Heart, Here it is again.

Years ago, when I spotted the Stillwater Gazette, the oldest family-owned daily newspaper in existence, I knew I wanted to work there. I could feel it-- in my bones and in my heart. When I went in to the offices to apply for the job, however, the owner didn't have the same feeling I did. He had an opening for a reporter, but he wanted to hire someone else. Abigail, he said, was the right one for this jib.

I prayed for Abigail every day. I asked God to take care of her, guide her, and bless her richly and abundantly. I prayed for her because that's what I had been taught to do-- pray for those you resent. Sometimes I prayed for her three or four times each day. I prayed for her this much because I resented her that much.

God, I hated Abigail.

For the next months, almost half a year, I tromped down to the Gazette once a week, begging to be hired. Finally, I got a job there. But it wasn't the one I wanted. Abigail, bless her heart, had mine.

She got the best story assignments. She worked so quickly and with such journalistic ease.

So I kept praying, "God bless Abigail," because that's all I knew to do.

Over the months, as I got my lesser assignments from the editor--lesser than Abigail's, that is-- I began to watch her work. She wrote quickly and efficiently. Got right to the point. She was a good interviewer,too. I started pushing myself to write better, and more quickly. If Abigail can do it, so can I, I told myself. My enemy began to inspire me. Over the weeks and months that transpired, I spent more and more time around Abigail. I listened to her talk. I listened to her stories. Slowly, my enemy became my friend.

One day, Abigail and I were having coffee. I looked at her, looked straight in her eyes. And suddenly I realized, I didn't hate Abigail anymore. She was doing her job. I was doing mine.

Soon, I got an offer from a publisher to write a book. I was glad I didn't have Abigail's job, I wouldn't have had time to write that book. Then one day in June 1987, that book hit the New York Times best-seller list.

Years later, I wrote the story about Abigail in Playing It By Heart. The book got published. I returned to Minnesota to do a book signing. I was in the bookstore's bathroom, washing my hands, when a woman approached me.

"Hi Melody," she said. I looked at her, confused. "It's Abigail," she said. Abigail wasn't her real name; it was a name I had given her in the story. But with those words, I realized she had read the story. She knew she was Abigail, and she knew how I once felt.

We joked about it for a few moments. I asked her how her life was. She said she had quit writing and had become a wife and mother. I said I was still writing, and my years as a wife and mother were for the most part over.

Resentments are such silly little things. Envy is silly,too. But those silly little things can eat away at our hearts. Sometimes, people are put in our lives to teach us about what we're capable of. Sometimes, the people we perceive as enemies are really our friends. Is there someone in your life you're spending energy feeling envious of or resentful toward? Could that person be there to teach you something about yourself that you don't know or to inspire you along your path? You'll not know the answer to that question until you get the envy and resentment out of your heart.

God, thank you for the people I resent and envy. Bless them richly. Open doors for them, shower them with abundance. Help me know that my success doesn't depend on their failure, it's equivalent to how much I ask you to bless them.

*****

A Day At A Time
August 11

Reflection For The Day

When I dwell on piddling things that annoy me — and they sprout resentments that grow bigger and bigger like weeds — I forget how I could be stretching my world and broadening my outlook. For me, that’s an ideal way to shrink troubles down to their real size. When somebody or something is causing me trouble, I should try to see the incident in relation to the rest of my life — especially the part that’s good and for which I should be grateful. Am I willing to waste my life worrying about trifles which drain my spiritual energy?

Today I Pray

May God keep me from worrying unduly about small things. May He, instead, open my eyes to the grandeur of His universe and the ceaseless wonders of His earth. May He grant me the breadth of vision which can reduce and small fretful concern of mine to the size of a fly on a cathedral window.

Today I Will Remember Microscopic irritations can ruin my vision.

*****

One More Day
August 11

Before an important decision someone clutches your hand — a glimpse of gold in the iron-gray, the proof of all you have never dared to believe.
– Dag Hammarskjold

There is nothing quite as lonely as having to make a decision. Imagine the feelings a family goes through when a beloved pet has to be put to sleep. The parents, because they truly understand the situation, must be the decision makers. If we are considering a job change, it will affect our immediate family and our friendships.

When a person extends a helping hand, we welcome it as a starving person would welcome food, for it offers affirmation and empathy. The decision is still difficult, but we have the inner strength to carry us through.

I believe in myself, but will welcome the support of others in my decision making.

**************************************************

Food For Thought

Sloppy Thinking

If we begin to entertain thoughts of slight deviations from our food plan, thoughts of former binge foods, thoughts that maybe once in a while we could eat “normally,” we put ourselves on shaky ground. Our disease is never cured, and sloppy thinking can lead to a weakening or loss of control.

“Normal” eating for us is abstinence. Our food plan is what saves us from bizarre eating behavior. There is no such thing as taking a vacation from abstinence.

The less we think about food, the better off we are. To remember the so-called pleasure we once associated with certain foods may cause us to forget the inevitable pain and anguish which eating them eventually produced. We do not want to ever return to the misery of compulsive overeating.

Giving our minds to our Higher Power ensures positive, healthy thinking.

Take my thoughts, Lord, and straighten them out.

[bluidkiti]

August 12

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains. --Anne Frank
We don't find the rewards of today by searching through our misfortunes. Pausing to seek out something good for everything we find bad is a step in the right direction. We may find the good outweighs the bad.
But how much more chance we will have of living a happy day if we skip over our setbacks and concentrate as much as we can on what is going well. It is smarter to look for diamonds in a diamond mine than in a garbage dump.
Let us discard our failures, using only what we have learned from them to achieve success. Looking back at missed opportunities will make it impossible for us to recognize new chances to enjoy life to the fullest. Looking only for beauty is a beautiful thing in itself.
What beauty can I see around me right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It is a terrible, an inexorable law that one cannot deny the humanity of another without diminishing one's own: in the face of one's victim, one sees oneself. --James Baldwin
Acting totally in our self-interest is shortsighted and foolishly simple. Attacking another person or another nation reflects upon us like a mirror. When any person is undermined, the human race is diminished in some measure. And humanity is our family.
Sometimes we see a reflection of ourselves in someone else and fail to recognize it. What we hate most in another may well be what we hate in ourselves. Knowing this can be useful. Perhaps our teeth are set on edge when we think about an ex wife, or father, or former friend, or a religious or racial group. How are we like that person or group? What do they cause us to face within ourselves? When we stop diminishing the other person we may still not like him or her, but we can come to terms with ourselves. We learn to live and let live.
God, help me engage in the brotherhood of my own family and with all people - and to see my own face, even in my enemy.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
When a woman has love, she is no longer at the mercy of forces greater than herself, for she, herself, becomes the powerful force. --Veronica Casey
The need for love is universal. Each of us longs for the affirmation that assures us we are needed, appreciated, desired. We are strengthened by the strokes others give us, and when no strokes are forthcoming, we sometimes falter.
With emotional and spiritual maturity comes the understanding that we are loved, unconditionally, by God. And the awareness of that love, the realization of its abiding presence, will buoy us up when no other love signals to us. Most of us still lose our connection to the omnipresent God, however. Thus, our buoyancy is tentative.
Until that time when we are certain about our value, about the presence of God's love, we'll need to practice self-affirmation. But learning how to nurture ourselves, how to be gentle and caressing to the woman within, may be painstaking. Patience will ease the process. Unconditionally loving ourselves will become natural in time. In fact, we'll sense our inner person growing, changing. Our wholeness will become apparent to others as well as to ourselves.
Love breeds love. I will shower it upon others and myself and relish the growing sense of self that emerges.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Directness
Direct people are a joy to be around.
We never have to guess what they're really thinking or feeling, because they're honest about their thoughts and openly express their feelings.
We never have to wonder if they're with us because they want to be, or if they're there out of guilt and obligation.
When they do something for us, we don't have to worry whether they'll end up resenting us because direct people generally do things that please themselves.
We don't have to fuss about the status of our relationship because if we ask, they'll tell us.
We don't have to worry if they're angry because they deal openly with their anger and resolve it quickly.
We don't have to ponder whether they are talking about us behind our backs because if they have something to say, it will be said to us directly.
We don't have to wonder if we can rely on them because direct people are trustworthy.
Wouldn't it be nice if we were all direct?
Today, I will let go of my notions that it is somehow good or desirable to be indirect. Instead, I will strive for honesty, directness, and clarity in my communication. I will let directness in my relationships begin with me.

*****

Journey to the Heart
Practice Forgiveness

He was an old man, sitting on a corner bench. "I don't know why we just keep on forgiving our brothers and sisters," he said, looking at the people walking by. "I suppose it's because when we do, we really forgive ourselves."

Is there someone we're judging, censuring? If we look more closely we'll see that when we blame others, we're chastising ourselves as well. If we're honest, really honest, we can see that often what upsets us is something similar to what we ourselves do. Other people can be mirrors of our own behavior.

Yes, there are times when another person does something absolutely outrageous. And we can stand there, hands no hips, saying, I've been wronged. I can't understand how anyone could behave that way. But often, if we're honest, we really can understand-- we have behaved that way,too.

Practice forgiveness. Judgement without forgiveness causes us to feel isolated, and apart, causes us to judge ourselves in the same way. Discover how much better you feel when you forgive others. Find out how much better you feel when you forgive yourself.

*****

more language of letting go
Be grateful for where you've been

Earlier in this book, I suggested that you write your memoirs. Even if you don't sit down to do that, I'm going to suggest that you review your life.

Reading my mother's memoirs was a profound experience, one that touched my heart and brought compassion into it in a way I hadn't been able to experience from all my family-of-origin work. As a child, I'd shut down when my mother would talk about her experiences. I'd turn off my listening device. It sounded like grumbling and complaining to me. I didn't want to hear about her pain.

But when I read about her life in story form, I experienced a different response. I was able to read it objectively, not as her daughter or a person feeling guilty because I wished she hadn't had all the pain she did. I saw how directly her experiences had created and shaped who she was. I saw the desires of her heart. I saw her tragedies, her broken dreams. I saw her heroism,too.

My snippy little reactions-- the irritating mother-daughter stuff-- vanished in this new light. She was no longer a mother who had issues. She was a human being nobly living her life. Like the rest of us, she had her frailties, her vulnerable areas, and her strong points.

The point here isn't for you to read about my mother. It's for you to take a new look at your life and all the experiences you've been through, endured, survived, and then transcended. When I wrote my life story, I resisted at first. I hadn't enjoyed it that much going through it. I didn't want to relive all those experiences.

But something happened in the actual writing. It was similar to what happened when I read my mother's account of her life. I began to see myself and what I'd been through differently, in a new, more compassionate light.

Each experience, each decade, each chapter in the book taught me something valuable. From each experience I'd been through, I reclaimed or discovered new insight and power. Maybe much of what I had preferred to forget or turn my back on wasn't the wasted life I thought it was.

What a beautiful story each one of us has. Whether your experiences ever make it into a book, it's still your book of life. Are you grateful for each chapter you've lived? Are you grateful for each experience you've had? Are you grateful for the story you're living now?

The good news is, the story of our lives hasn't ended yet.

There's still more to come.

Touch the experience of being human in all of its sorrow and joy.

Be grateful for the story you're living now.

God, help me laugh, cry, love, be aware, and be thankful with all my heart for every moment and each experience that I've been given. Thank you for my life.

*****

Set Yourself Free
Letting Go of Perfection

Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.

It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection—especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness.

In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood—an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“Quiet minds can not be perplexed or frightened,” wrote Robert Louis Stevenson, “but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm.”

In The Program, we hear many warnings against harboring resentments, and rare is the person who doesn’t occasionally yield to resentment when he feels wronged. We must remember that we have no room for resentment in our new way of life. Rather than exhausting myself by fighting resentment with grim determination, I can reason it out of existence by uncovering its cause with a quiet mind. Will I try to believe that the best antidote for resentment is the continual expression of gratitude?

Today I Pray

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise God for our human sensitivity which, although it can feel the smallest, pin-prick hurts, can also feel the warmth of a smile, Praise God for our human insight which can peel the wraps from our resentments and expose them for what they are.

Today I Will Remember

I am grateful for feelings.

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One More Day

Life is so full of miseries, minor and major….. – Agnes Repplier

Occasionally a person who has chronic pain spends far too much time on a quest to cure or solve the pain. Support groups become much more than an extension of helpful purpose; they can become our total purpose. All the day can be filled with seeking the “right” people to solve our problems. All semblance of a well-balanced life gets pushed away.

There’s no reason to make our days miserable with unrealistic goals. Learning to live the best we can with the pain and inconvenience of illness is the only way to make minor miseries out of major ones.

I can keep myself emotionally whole by seeking balance in my life.

*************************************************

Food For Thought

The Beacon

There are times when we get tired and depressed or elated and confused. We are mentally uncomfortable, knowing that something is wrong but unable to pinpoint the trouble. Our first thought may be to reach for food, but we know that way leads to disaster.

We compulsive overeaters have a beacon light for our dark and confused moments. It is our commitment to abstinence. No matter how confused we may be, we can remember that abstinence is the most important thing in our life without exception. Whatever happens, we will not be lost if we hold fast to our abstinence. From the commitment, everything else follows. As long as we do not overeat, we will be able to find our way out of a difficult situation.

Our Higher Power gives us the beacon light of abstinence, and with it He gives guidance out of our perplexities. Patiently waiting until we clearly see His will keeps us from getting lost in the darkness of self-will.

Thank You for the beacon light of abstinence.

[bluidkiti]

August 13

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. --Brendan Francis
There was a huge slide at the park and Jason was afraid to go on it. There were so many steps to climb to reach the top. All of his friends were climbing up the steps and yelling as they came down the long rolling slide.
"Come on," said his friend Steve. "It's lots of fun!"
"Isn't it scary?" asked Jason.
"A little bit," answered Steve, "but you get used to it." He ran off to go again.
Jason walked to the steps of the slide, his heart pounding in his chest. Slowly he placed his foot on the first step and lifted himself up. Courageously he climbed the ladder. When he reached the high platform he felt as if he were standing on top of the world.
We can learn from Jason that by taking that first step we can experience many exciting and wonderful things. We have all done it before, on the slide, on a bicycle, in school. Why not again?
What fear can I walk through today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others. --Nathaniel Branden
We cannot hang on to feelings of shame and guilt and still hope to become better people. How did these feelings begin? If we were treated badly by people, we need to be honest about what happened so we can resolve it and move on. Have we perpetuated our feelings by acting disrespectfully ourselves? Then we need to take a thorough inventory of our wrongdoings, admit them, make repairs, and let them go.
We may wallow in shame because facing it feels too frightening. Often, we believe our shame is greater than that of others. This belief is usually untrue and grandiose. It's part of how we isolate ourselves. We don't have to face it alone. We have the help of other men and women who can listen to our pain and tell us about their experiences.
Today, may I find the courage to face my shame and assert my right to self-esteem.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Anything forced into manifestation through personal will is always "ill got" and has "ever bad success." --Florence Scovel Shinn
The main thrust of our recovery is to attune ourselves to God's will, struggling no longer to impose our own. The pain we've endured in past years was often of our own making. We controlled situations until we managed to force the outcome we desired, only to realize it didn't offer happiness. It was, instead, a bitter ending to the struggle.
When we want something or someone to play by our rules, we can expect barriers. And when the barriers don't give way with a gentle push, we should consider it a clue that we are off course. When we want what God wants for us, the barriers, if any, will fall away.
What God wants for us at every moment is growth and happiness. When we step away from our ego and develop a selfless posture toward life, we'll find serenity in the midst of any turmoil. Serenity is God's promise. When we get in line with God's will, we'll find peace.
I will know God's will if I will listen to my inner voice. I will do what feels right, and peace will be my reward.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Friends
Don't overlook the value of friendship. Don't neglect friends.
Friends are a joy. Adult friendships can be a good place for us to learn to have fun and to appreciate how much fun we can have with a friend.
Friends can be a comfort. Who knows us better, or is more able to give us support, than a good friend? A friendship is a comfortable place to be ourselves. Often, our choice of friends will reflect the issue we're working on. Giving and receiving support will help both people grow.
Some friendships wax and wane, going through cycles throughout the years. Some trail off when one person outgrows the other. Certainly, we will have trials and tests in friendships and, at times, be called on to practice our recovery behaviors.
But some friendships will last a lifetime. There are special love relationships, and there are friendships. Sometimes, our friendships - especially recovery friendships - can be special love relationships too.
Today, I will reach out to a friend. I will let myself enjoy the comfort, joys, and enduring quality of my friendships.


Today is a day of opportunities. I am open and ready to find them all, knowing that I am receiving all the guidance I need to be forward and be happy. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Come Back to Center

Come back to center, that place in you that is still, calm, quiet, and connected.

Your center is a place you can trust. It connects the body, mind, heart, and soul. It connects truth, your inner voice, and the Divine. Your best work comes from there. Your most loving times come from there.Your insights, awarenesses, and guidance come from being there, at that place. Your best decisions and finest moments come from that place.

Your center is a place that is quietly confident, unassuming, spontaneous, and free. It is gentle and kind, but it has the power to defend instinctively against attack.

Your center is a place that is naturally joyful and at peace. It is accepting, nonjudgemental, and it channels the voice of your heart. It knows perfect timing. It knows the rhythm of the universe, the rhythm of all creation, and it delights in its connection to that rhythm.

If you must leave your center to learn a lesson, feel a feeling, or experience something new, do that. Take all the side trips you are called to. But come back to your center when you're done.


And go to your center first, before you go anywhere else.

*****

more language of letting go
Thanks for the lessons

People say everything happens for a reason and God has a Plan for it all. I believe things do happen for a reason. And I believe in God's Plan. But if we don't learn the lesson from the circumstance and let ourselves completely heal from it-- whether it's the past or today-- the things that happen for a reason will just keep happening over and over again.
--Playing It by Heart

"I learned something today," a woman said to me. "Before I can completely let go of anything or anyone, I need to thank the person and the experience for what it taught me."

Sometimes, the last thin cord binding us to that person or experience, that part of our lives that we're trying so valiantly to be free from, can be effectively snipped with the shears of gratitude.

Are you hanging on to a resentment for that ex or a friend from days long past? Are you still harboring bitterness about a job or business deal gone bad? Are you holding on to a part of your life that was painful with bitterness and resentment? Are you holding on to a particularly good time or cycle you had with someone, afraid that if things change and you let the past go and come into now, things won't be quite as good?

Maybe you needed that relationship to teach you about a part of yourself. Maybe you learned compassion or more about what you wanted from life. Maybe that friend, even though he or she isn't in your life anymore, helped you open up a part of yourself that was shut down and needed to be activated and set free. What about those painful experiences? You learned something, probably a lot, from them,too. And that experience that was so fulfilling? That, too, needs to be let go of if we're going to open our hearts to the new.

Apply a dose of gratitude. Thank the experience for being in your life. Thank that ex, or that friend, or that business, or that boss. Thank them over and over again in your mind. Deliberately sit down and figure out what the lessons and gifts were. If you can't see them, ask to be shown.

Move a step closer to letting go and becoming free by being grateful for how that person or experience enriched your life.


God, thank you for the past. Help me let go with gratitude, so that I can live more fully and joyfully now.

*****

Letting Your Voice Be Heard
Writing Your Story

by Madisyn Taylor

Writing your own story can provide an outlet which can help purge any frustration, anxiety, or long-dormant feelings.


Everyone, at one time or another, has wanted to express his or her story. Writing a memoir to read privately, share with family or friends, or publish is an emotionally satisfying way to gain perspective on your experiences and to share your unique voice. We’ve all experienced feelings and events in our lives that we are longing to write down. Giving into that urge also can provide an outlet which can help purge any frustration, anxiety, or long-dormant feelings. No one else has to read it. You may even want to write your story without reading it afterward and put it away to read in the future. Satisfying the need to tell your story is not predicated upon your writing ability. It does, however take effort to write down the truth in detail. Your memories, captured on paper as descriptive scenes, sights, sounds, and scents, may at first seem disconnected or incomplete. But rest assured that you possess the ability to shape your recollections into stories.

Writing your story is different from journaling. Everyone wants to be heard and know that they matter. Reading your story to others meets the human need to be heard. Writing your story helps validate your life. We all want to know that what we have to say matters. And when you finish writing, even you may be surprised at what you have accomplished. Your story can encompass as much or as little of your life as you prefer. You may surprise yourself with new insights, or you may find yourself exploring your roots, your identity, and your future through your words. Allow your writing to guide you and write as truthfully as possible. Don’t worry about what others will think of your personal journey, your style of writing, or your words.

Research has shown that writing a narrative filled with feelings and perceptions can create long-term health benefits. As you write, remember to express compassion and understanding toward yourself, particularly when writing about traumatic events. If you are a young person, you can add to your life story as you grow older. Your writing may even help family members know you better or understand themselves more. Most importantly, in writing your personal story, you are expressing yourself in a permanent way, giving a gift to your future self, and letting your voice be heard. Published with permission from Daily OM

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One More Day
August 13

If you allow men to use you for your own purpose, they will use your for theirs.
– Aescop

When we attend a party, isn’t it always the person with the cast or someone who just had surgery who gets all the attention? At first, when our health changes, we may try to play other people for sympathy.

We finally begin to understand that most of us have different needs. Ours are more permanent than the needs of a person with a broken leg. Upon realizing this, we could become angry that our needs aren’t being anticipated. After being ill for a while, we realize it’s up to us to let others know what we are feeling and what our needs are. Then we can look for understanding, not pity.

Exploiting the role of “sick person” is one behavior I need to guard against. I will accept this as a personal challenge.

*****

A Day At A Time
August 13

Reflection For The Day

The Program’s Fourth Step suggests that we make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. For some of us, no challenge seems more formidable; there’s nothing more difficult than facing ourselves as we really are. We flee from one wrong-doing after another as they catch up with us, forever making excuses, pleading always that our virtues in other areas far outweigh our flaws. Yet once we become willing to look squarely and self-searchingly at ourselves, we’re then able to illuminate the dark and negative side of our natures with new vision, action, and grace. Am I willing to open my eyes and step out into the sunlight?

Today I Pray

May my Higher Power stop me in my tracks if I am running away from myself. For I will never overcome my misdeeds, or the flaws in which character which brought them about, by letting them chase me. May I slow down and turn to face them with the most trusty weapon I know … truth.

Today I Will Remember

I will not be a fugitive from myself.

*******************************************

Food for Thought.

Be Prepared

We need to be prepared for times when we will be tempted to eat the wrong kind of food. This may mean eating our planned meal before going to an event where the right food may not be available. It may mean adjusting our meal schedule so that we can wait to eat until after an event where the wrong kind of food is served.

In the past, we may have used the excuse of not hurting someone's feelings in order to rationalize a deviation from our food plan. No hostess should expect a guest to consume food to which he or she is allergic. We alone are responsible for what goes into our mouths. If we are faced with food, which will activate our illness, it is better to be hungry than to eat what makes us sick.

When we are willing to go to any lengths to maintain abstinence, we can find a way to deal with dangerous food situations. "No, thank you" is a very useful tool.
May I be prepared for times of temptation.

[bluidkiti]

August 14

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The moment an individual can accept and forgive himself, even a little, is the moment in which he becomes to some degree lovable. --Eugene Kennedy
If we owe a bill and pay it in full, do we return to pay that same bill over and over again? If we did, someone would surely question what was wrong with us. Yet, how often do we ask forgiveness for the same thing over and over again?
How wonderful to know that we do not have to condemn ourselves, even for not living up to a goal we have set for ourselves. Once we say we are sorry, we need to be willing to forgive ourselves. After all, how else do we learn and grow except by mistakes.
When we have forgiven ourselves, we become free to take risks again without fear of unforgivable failure, and who knows what new successes we might attain?
Is there something I can forgive myself for today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it. --Hugh Mulligan
We show self-respect in how we choose to spend our time. Do we give tasks the time required for our best efforts? Or do we feel unworthy of quality work? Do we have a right to stop working and just play? Are we worth spending time with - just ourselves, or do we feel meaningful time is only spent with others? Are we worth caring enough about to enjoy bathing, grooming, or getting haircuts? Do we care enough about ourselves to see a dentist or a physician when needed?
Choices about how we use our time are basic ethical and creative choices. Beyond self-respect and care, we need to put time into our day for nourishing and enriching our spirits. We do that by reading something thoughtful or meaningful, talking to a friend about the events and feelings of our lives, listening to music, fixing a pleasant meal, exercising, and giving unpaid time and energy to worthwhile causes.
I am grateful for the gift of another day, and I will live it creatively and respectfully.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Often when we're being tough and strong, we're scared. It takes a lot of courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be soft. --Dudley Martineau
We've developed defenses for protection because we have felt the need for protection from the abuses of others, parents on occasion, bosses, spouses, even strangers. And in certain situations, our defenses served us well for a time. However, they have taken their toll. Hiding behind them for long makes them habitual, and we move farther and farther away from our center, from the woman each of us needs and wants to be.
Exposing who we really are invites judgment, sometimes rejection, often times discounting. It's a terribly hard risk to take, and the rewards are seldom immediate. But with time, others respect us for our vulnerability and begin to imitate our example. We are served well by our integrity, in due time.
Letting others see who we really are alleviates confusion, theirs and ours. We no longer need to decide who we should be; we simply are who we are. Our choices are simplified. There is only one appropriate choice to every situation--the one that is honest and wholly reflective of who we are at that moment.
Rewards will be forthcoming when I am honest.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Owning Our Power
Many of us have someone in our life that challenges our ability to trust and care for ourselves.
When we hear that person's voice or are in his or her presence, we may forget all we know about what is real, about how to own our power, about how to be direct, about what we know and believe to be true, about how important we are.
We give up our power to that person. The child in us gets hooked with a mixture of powerful feelings - love, fear, or anger. We may feel trapped, helpless, or so attracted that we can't think straight. There may be a powerful tug of war going between feelings of anger and our need to be loved and accepted, or between our head and our heart.
We may be so enamored or intimidated that we revert to our belief that we can't react or respond to this person any differently.
We get hooked.
We don't have to stay under a spell.
We start by becoming aware of the people who hook us, and then accepting that.
We can force ourselves through the motions of reacting differently to that person, even if that new reaction is awkward and uncomfortable.
Search out our motivations. Are we somehow trying to control or influence the other person? We cannot change the other person, but we can stop playing our part of the game. One good way to do this is by detaching and letting go of any need to control.
The next step is learning to own our power to take care of ourselves, to be who we are free from their influence. We can learn to own our power with difficult people. It may not happen overnight, but we can begin, today, to change our self-defeating reactions to the people who have hooked us.
God, help me identify the relationships where I have forfeited my power. Help me unhook and begin owning my power.

Today I trust what I feel and I listen to my inner voice. It does not matter if it is logical or if others agree. My feelings and emotions guide me on a path that is right for me. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Value the Simple Tasks of Life

Simple tasks can take us back to the rhythm, the way of life we're seeking.

How often we think we don't want to be bothered with laundry, bills dishes, the lawn. We have other things to do, more important tasks to accomplish on this journey we're on. But doing the ordinary tasks doesn't take us away from the rhythm we're seeking. They don't take us away from life's magic. These tasks are the rhythm. They are the magic.

The simple tasks are important not just because they need to be done. The simple tasks are the microcosm of how our lives work. They keep us grounded in reality, they remind us of what's real, they show us how life works. They will lead us into the way of life we're seeking, if we approach them the right way. Do the laundry. Do the dishes. Pay your bills. Rake the leaves. Do these tasks with respect.


Restore and maintain order around you, and you'll feel order in your soul. Create beauty around you, and you'll feel beauty in your soul. The magic will return. The simple tasks will lead you back to it.

*****

more language of letting go
Be grateful for where you are now

"It doesn't take as much faith to believe that everything happens for a reason as it does to embrace the belief that I am who and where I am now, today, for a reason-- even if I don't know what that reason is and even if I don't particularly like who and where I am today," a friend said to me. "When I can take that in, my dissatisfaction and negativity disappear, and I can proceed calmly and gratefully with my life. To me," he said, "that's what spirituality is all about."

Faith and hope aren't just for the future. Try using them on today.

Could it be that you're who you are and where you are now for a reason? Thank God for your life, exactly as it is, right now.


God, give me enough faith to believe in today.

*****

Living Potential
Sharing Your Gift with Others

The gifts we are born with and those that we work to develop throughout our lives vary in form and function. Some we find use for every day while others are only useful in specific circumstances. Yet many times we overlook opportunities to share our unique gifts with others. It may be fear of criticism that holds us back or the paralyzing weight of uncertainty. Ultimately, we doubt that our innate talents and practiced skills can truly add value to others’ lives. But it is the world as a whole that benefits when we willingly share our gifts. Whether you have been blessed with the ability to awaken beautiful emotions in others through art or industry, or your aptitudes transmit more practical advantages, your gifts are a part of who you are. As you make use of those gifts as best you can, be assured that your contribution to worldly well-being will not be overlooked.

Your personal power is defined in part by your gifts. To use your talents is to demonstrate to the world that you understand yourself and are truly attuned to your capabilities. Your earthly existence provides you with ample opportunity to explore your purpose, to utilize your skills in a life-affirming way, and to positively touch the lives of others while doing so. Yet you may feel that your gifts are not as valuable or worthy of attention as those of others and thus hide them away. However, every gift lying dormant in your soul has the potential to fill a void in someone else’s life. Just as your existence is made richer by the love, support, friendship, aid, and compassion of others, so, too, can you add richness to their lives. Your natural ability to soothe hurt, inspire compassion, bake, dance, knit, organize, or think outside the box can be a boon to someone in need.

As you embrace your gifts and allow their light to shine, you will discover that more and more opportunities to make use of them arise. This is because your gifts are a channel through which the universe operates. By simply doing what you are good at and also love to do, you make a positive difference. The recognition you receive for your efforts will pale in comparison to the satisfaction you feel when fulfilling your innate potential. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time
August 14

Reflection For The Day

Step Four enables me to see myself as I really am — my characteristics, motives, attitudes and actions. I’m taught in* The Program to search out my mistakes resolutely. Where, for example, had I been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened? I’m taught, also, that my deeply-rooted habit of self-justification may tempt me to “explain away” each fault as I uncover it, blaming others for my own shortcomings. Will I believe that personal honesty can achieve what superior knowledge often cannot?

Today I Pray

May I not make the Fourth Step a once-over-lightly, let’s get-it-over-with exercise in self-appraisal. May I know that, once I take this Step, I must review it again many times until it becomes, like the other eleven, a way of life for me. May I protect the value of my Fourth Step from my old habit of head-tripping and buck-passing my way out of responsibility.

Today I Will Remember

Personal honesty paves the way to recovery.

***********************************************

One More Day
August 14

Physical strength can never permanently withstand the impact of spiritual force.
– Franklin D. Roosevelt

It’s a peculiar twist of life that physical impairment causes some of us to become either agnostic or more spiritual. Few of us stay in the shades of gray.

Those of us who are fortunate enough to find our Higher Power or to rediscover our sense of spirituality may feel a deep and abiding belief in spiritual forces which will dwell with us at all times in our lives.

Spiritually transcends all health problems; we can call on its comfort and support at will. Our beliefs can buoy us up when we are feeling low and can richly enhance all the facets of our lives.

The spiritual forces which work within me are uniquely mine — to share or to keep private. They will always enhance my life.

************************************************** ******************

Food For Thought

Rationalizing

We compulsive overeaters are experts at making excuses for taking the line of least resistance. Before we entered this program, we could always find a reason for eating. How many times did we say, “Just one little bite can’t possibly hurt”?

It is hard to say no to ourselves and to other people, even though we may realize that saying yes would be hurtful to our health or our integrity. We think up reasons for going along with what other people want us to do, rather than “rocking the boat” by standing up for what we know to be essential for our recovery.

Often we convince ourselves by rationalizing that all is well when it is not. Our emotional and spiritual health requires that we examine honestly our behavior and our relationships. When they are not right, we need to take action to correct them.

By Your light, may I see clearly.

[bluidkiti]

August 15

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Roots nourish, give us life and bind us safely to earth. Plant them well. --Anonymous
All trees have different root systems. The pine grows quickly, with shallow roots that spread in every direction. A maple is a slow-growing tree, whose roots run deeper, seeking out moisture far into the earth. Both root systems give life, but when the weather turns stormy and the wind howls through the branches, the maple, with its deeper roots, will hold fast. Though the pine grows faster and needs only surface moisture, it cannot withstand the storm as well.
We often want things immediately. We want to play the piano, but only if we can learn it fast. We want others to love us right away, or we'll give up on them. If something we're doing doesn't go just so right from the start, we give up.
But the permanent things in life take time to develop. If we want our relationships, our skills, our accomplishments, to resist the storms we all encounter, we must allow time for them to grow and deepen within us, and marvel, in the meantime, at how much we can learn from the world around us.
What deep roots am I setting down right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A man's life is what his thoughts make it. --Marcus Aurelius
How do we think about ourselves? Do we feel unattractive? Do we feel we aren't masculine enough? Do we doubt our ability to perform our roles as friends, husbands, or fathers? Such thoughts are common among men. There is no problem in having them; they are normal to some extent. But what we do with our thoughts - how we think about what we think - makes a big difference in our lives.
When we think we are odd or different from other men for feeling this way, we become more self-centered. When we don't stand up for our rights as men to have our doubts and weaknesses, we become even more weak and doubting. When we don't talk about our thoughts and feelings to other men, we become isolated and lonely. We have a right to feel insecure and to know we have weaknesses. We become stronger men by accepting our doubts. They may still cause some pain but they have lost their power to control us. Just as a repaired seam can be stronger than the original, what was our weakness becomes our strength.
Today, I accept my thoughts of weakness and self-doubt as part of life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Life does not need to mutilate itself in order to be pure. --Simone Weil
How terribly complicated we choose to make life's many questions. Should we call a friend and apologize or wait for her call? Are the children getting the kind of care they must, right now? That we "Came to believe in a power greater than ourselves" is often far from our thoughts when we most need it.
Our need to make all things perfect, to know all the answers, to control everything within our range, creates problems where none really exist. And the more we focus on the problem we've created, the bigger it becomes.
Inattention relieves the tension; last week's problems can seldom be recalled. The one we are keeping a problem with our undivided attention can be turned loose, at this moment. And just as quickly, the turmoil we've been feeling will be beyond recall too.
The program offers us another way to approach life. We need not mutilate it or ourselves. We can learn to accept the things we cannot change, and change the things we can . . . with practice.
I will pray for wisdom today. I shall expect wisdom, not problems, and the day will smoothly slip by.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Leaving Room for Feelings
We need to allow enough room for others and ourselves to have and work through our feelings.
We are people, not robots. An important part of us - who we are, how we grow, how we live - is connected to our emotional center. We have feelings, sometimes - difficult ones, sometimes - disruptive ones, and sometimes - explosive ones that need to be worked through.
By facing and working through these feelings others and we grow. In relationships, whether it is a love relationship, a friendship, a family relationship, or a close business relationship, people need room to have and work through their feelings.
Some call it "going through the process."
It is unreasonable to expect ourselves or others to not need time and room to work through feelings. We will be setting ourselves and our relationships up for failure if we do not allow this time and room in our life.
We need time to work through feelings. We need the space and permission to work through these feelings in the awkward, uncomfortable, sometimes messy way that people work through feelings.
This is life. This is growth. This is okay.
We can allow room for feelings. We can let people have time and permission to go through their feelings. We do not have to keep others or ourselves under such a tight rein. While we work through our feelings we do not have to expend unnecessary energy reacting to each feeling others or we have. We don't have to take all our feelings, and others' feelings, so seriously while others or we are in the process of working through them.
Let the feelings flow and trust where the flow is taking you.
I can set reasonable boundaries for behavior, and still leave room for a range of emotions.


Today I will spend some time putting my own needs aside to help someone else. It is so good to know that I can be filled with such good feelings and I get so much when I give of myself. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Spinning Our wheels Is Part of Getting Unstuck

When our car gets stuck in the mud or snow, we immediately try to get out. Sometimes we have to spin our wheels to get a rocking motion going. Sometimes we have to try harder, then try again before we can get out. Sometimes, spinning our wheels digs us in more deeply. Then in frustration, we let go, relax. Soon we find ourselves doing what we need to get unstuck. We ask for help or figure out another approach.

That's how it is on our journey. We may find ourselves in a situation we don't know how to handle. So we start spinning our wheels in frustration, confusion, or fear. What we know is we want out. Sometimes we need to get through that time of spinning our wheels in order to get to the next place, the place where we slow down and figure out what to do next. Sometimes our frustration helps generate energy to get momentum going in the general direction of solving the problem. Putting forth that energy gets steam built up, tells us and the universe we're ready to free ourselves.

If you find yourself spinning your wheels, be gentle with yourself. Slow down, get a nice rocking motion going, one that's rhythmic yet powerful enough to free you, than put the car in gear, step on the gas, and gently drive out of the muck.


Sometimes we need to spin our wheels. It helps us get unstuck.

*****

more language of letting go
Make a gratitude box

One day, years after I discovered the power of gratitude, I was feeling stuck, stymied, and ungrateful. Again. After a few minutes of this, I knew what to do. I understood clearly what the remedy for my situation was.

I went to a shop in town and picked out the most beautiful little box I could find. It was silver, with engraving on it. About four inches tall and six inches wide. Then I went home and took out a pad of paper. I tore it into tiny strips. On each piece of paper, I wrote one thing that was bothering or troubling me-- from finances, to work, to love.

When I had finished writing out my troubles list, I started on another one. Now, on each slip of paper, I wrote down the names of people I wanted to pray for, the people I loved, the people I wanted to ask God to bless.

When I finished, I put each little strip of paper in the box.

Then, I held the box in my hands and thanked God for everything inside.

I still have my gratitude box. I keep it in plain view. People think it's just a pretty decoration, but it means a lot more than that to me. From time to time when I feel down, I open the box. I take out one slip of paper, and I practice gratitude for whatever slip I happen to pull out. Sometimes, I pull out a name of someone I want God to bless. For that day my mission is to surround that person with my prayers.

Most of the troubles I put in that box have long since been resolved. But the box is still around to remind me of the power of gratitude.

Do you have some problems in your life today, areas that you can't seem to resolve? If you don't already have one, consider making a gratitude box. Remember, there's a difference between knowing about the power of gratitude and actually applying gratitude in our lives.


God, help me do the things I know will help me to feel better.

Activity: Take the time to make a gratitude box. Put one slip of paper in it for every problem or trouble you're currently experiencing, one slip of paper for everything and everyone you're worried about, and one slip of paper for people you'd like God to bless. The blessings include your loved ones and those whom you resent. Then spend two to five minutes each day either thanking God for everything and everyone in the box, or take out one slip of paper at a time, and thank God for that. Leave the box in plain view as a daily reminder that practicing the power of gratitude will change your life.

*****

Enjoying the Ride
The Flow of the Universe

by Madisyn Taylor

Many people live their lives struggling against the current while others use the flow like a mighty wind.


The flow of the universe moves through everything. It’s in the rocks that form, get pounded into dust, and are blown away, the sprouting of a summer flower born from a seed planted in the spring, the growth cycle that every human being goes through, and the current that takes us down our life’s paths. When we move with the flow, rather than resisting it, we are riding on the universal current that allows us to flow with life.

Many people live their lives struggling against this current. They try to use force or resistance to will their lives into happening the way they think it should. Others move with this flow like a sailor using the wind, trusting that the universe is taking them exactly where they need to be at all times. This flow is accessible to everyone because it moves through and around us. We are always riding this flow. It’s just a matter of whether we are willing to go with it or resist it. Tapping into the flow is often a matter of letting go of the notion that we need to be in control at all times. The flow is always taking you where you need to go. It’s just a matter of deciding whether you plan on taking the ride or dragging your feet.

Learning to step into the flow can help you feel a connection to a force that is greater than you and is always there to support you. The decision to go with the flow can take courage because you are surrendering the notion that you need to do everything by yourself. Riding the flow of the universe can be effortless, exhilarating, and not like anything that you ever expected. When you are open to being in this flow, you open yourself to possibilities that exist beyond the grasp of your control. As a child, you were naturally swept by the flow. Tears of sadness falling down your face could just as quickly turn to tears of laughter. Just the tiniest wave carrying you forward off the shores of the ocean could carry you into peals of delight. Our souls feel good when we go with the flow of the universe. All we have to do is make the choice to ride its currents. Published with permission from Daily OM

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One More Day
August 15

As we advance in life, we learn the limits of our abilities.
– J.A. Froud

Remember the lofty goals we had when we were young? Goals that included being the best, saving all the children, having a lot of money. We could be president, put out fires, or be on stage. We could accomplish anything when we were young. The older we got, the more realistic we became. We began to be aware of what we couldn’t do, of the fact that not every family system worked, that not every person was happy.

We found new goals then, goals that we could live with for that time in our lives. Even now, as we read, we are learning about ourselves. We know that we may not reach our childhood goals. We have learned our limits and are living our lives in a realistic fashion.

Awareness of my own limits has helped me set realistic goals. I am successful.

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A Day At A Time
August 15

Reflection For The Day

It’s often said that you can’t tell a book by its cover. For many of us, our “covers” or surface records haven’t looked all that bad; it seemed at first, that making an inventory would be a breeze.” As we proceeded, we were dismayed to discover that our “covers” were relatively blemish-free only because we’d deeply buried our defects beneath layers of self-deception. For that reason, self-searching can be a long-term process; it must go on for as long as we remain blind to the flaws that ambushed us into addiction and misery. Will I try to face myself as I am, correcting whatever is keeping me from growing into the person I want to be?

Today I Pray

May God aid me in my soul-searching, because I have hidden my faults neatly from friends, family and especially myself. If I feel more “sinned against, than sinning,” may I take it as a clue that I need to dig deeper for the real me.

Today I Will Remember

Taking stock of myself is buying stock in my future.

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In God’s Care

A consciousness of God releases the greatest power of all.
~Science of Mind, magazine

Just thinking of God as we go into situations we’re uncomfortable with or perhaps even fearful of will relieve our troubled mind and lessen our anxiety.

Carrying God in our thoughts means we don’t have to, for that moment or hour or day, feel alone. Quite miraculously, we’ll know that God can help us handle what we could not handle alone.

Most of us dwell more on negative thoughts than on thoughts of God. And our life is far more confused and complicated than it needs to be as a result. To replace one thought with another is really quite simple. A quiet reminder to stop negative thinking and remember God is all that’s necessary. We may have to repeat the process many, many times, but patience brings the result we want.

God will strengthen us and take away our fears if we remember to remember.

I will keep God in my mind today. I will concentrate on remembering.

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Day By Day

Sharing our burdens

We were disappointed in ourselves when we could not rise above situations that enveloped us. We were discouraged with friends who seemed indifferent to our suffering.

But coming to the program, we find that we need not fear the burdens of life. Our Higher Power has given us examples, promises, and friends to share all our burdens. For example, with understanding people we find that we we need never be alone again. Do I share all my crosses with my fellows and with my Creator?

Higher Power, help me to realize that there are others on my path and to believe that they can help.

The burden I will share today is…

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Food For Thought

Inner Tigers

What we fear facing and dealing with is often inside. We may transfer our fear and irritation to external circumstances and the people around us, when what we need to do is look inside. Usually, we are our own worst enemy.

Our fears go back to a time when we were very young and relatively helpless. We may still be afraid of rejection, of being inferior, of being hurt with no one to take care of us. We may have an irrational fear of economic insecurity, which comes from a time when we were aware of financial problems but were too young to understand them.

Whether our inner tigers are real or made out of paper, we need to face them instead of eating to appease them. As we recover from compulsive overeating, many of the fears, which we had tried to bury with food, come to consciousness. With the Power greater than ourselves, we are able to tame the inner tigers.

Secure in Your care, may I not fear self-discovery.